Eat Your Kimchi

My Love Letter to Balmuda, the Toaster

300 dollar toaster

Welcome back to another episode of Wonderful Treasure Find, the first in about two years. Next one will be THIRTY YEARS FROM NOW so buckle up!

I wasn’t even sure what to call this video. I just really love this toaster. And I love it for many reasons.

1) I love that a dude was like “fuck, I really want to make perfect toast” and he threw himself into designing a machine to fit his needs. How bloody random. It seems like such a huge task to undertake for such a small payoff. I’ve just been suffering with crappy toasters my whole life that would burn by bread to a crisp, and they’d pop up loudly and throw my bread out of the toaster into whatever the hell is closeby. That was just an accepted part of life. You’re born. You pay taxes. You eat shit toast. And you die. But this guy said, no, I will make toasters better. Why hasn’t anyone made umbrellas better? Why are airplane chairs still so horrible? It’s so commonplace for us to use crappy things that we don’t even think about it much anymore, but this guy not only thought about how to make toast better, he actually did it. Made a steam injection oven with perfectly controlled temperatures and different settings and programs to revitalize bread. I never would have done it, but I’m glad he did.

2) It really shows us a slice of what we see so often in Japan: a profoundly thorough diligence in the details. My god! He realllllllly focused on making toast better, instead of letting it slide. You know, we know a sushi chef here who doesn’t keep his fish in a fridge. Instead, he keeps it in an ice box with ice cubes from glaciers up north. Why? Because a fridge runs on freon, and freon can affect the taste of the fish. Reeeeeaaaalllllyyyy though? That’s such a small detail, but he found it and worked on it. Just, the details here in Japan are really appreciated, and this toaster exemplifies that for me.

3) Bread is delicious. I’ve not thought about it much since moving to Asia. My experience of bread in Korea was disappointing. Here in Japan it’s a lot better, but this toaster here resparked a fire! I feel like when I was a kid and I just discovered Macaroni and Cheese, and then I ate a box of it a day for a decade. I feel like I just rediscovered the Legend of Zelda. I’ve been eating so much bread now that it’s starting to show and I’m both concerned for my figure and delighted at eating this magical, magical bread.

And thus concludes my high school essay with three supporting paragraphs on why I love this toaster. It’s not available outside of Korea and Japan so it’s not like I’m even trying to sell it to you. I just love it and want to share. If you come to Japan and go to a coffee shop, if you see one of these toasters SWEET GRASSHOPPERS you buy yourself a slice. And then cry. Deeply. For, unless you have one of these at home, you might not be able to eat bread so good again.