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Ok, so it seems like we’ve been to a bunch of different bizarre cafes. We’ve been to cat cafes, dog cafes, dress-up cafes, video game cafes. Now, we’re at another odd on: Board Game Cafes. It’s not super girly like the last WANK! It’s not super-manly, either, but it’s something that won’t be as alienating as before. Yay!

Anyhow, you can pretty much guess what this is about: we go to a room, pick from a wide selection of board games, and play the board games. We get charged by the person by the hour. So, if you’re playing with 4 people, each person has to pay per hour. You also have to each get a drink. But then, THEN, you can play lots of board games. YAY! They’ve got lots of different games, like Life, Monopoly, Concentration, Guess Who, and other such canonical childhood games, along with a bunch of games I’ve never seen before in my life, and they’ve also got TONS of Catan. TONS OF IT! So many different kinds of Catan as well. You might be asking “WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Y U NO PLAY CATAN?” Well, because that’d make for a boring video. Catan’s fun to play, but if we made a video of it, the video would be over an hour long. And Martina would get stuck with all the sheep. She luuuuuuvs her some sheep.

We played three different games just to show you some of the different options. That last game, the balloon popping game, is a gortdamn terrible game. It was so unenjoyable! I know some people might find it fun to be so antsy and scared, but that’s not something I find fun! I didn’t even want to play it. I just touched the game, and then the cafe staffer came over to us and was like “do you want to know how to play?” and we’re like “no, it’s ok” and then she’s like “here’s how you play now PLAY!” It’s like she knew how terrible the game was and wanted to see us suffer.

Also, let me end off by saying this: I’ve never written a blog post like this before. We’re all here at the Eatyourkimchi Studio now, and we’ve got a bunch of volunteers helping us out with prepping all of the fundraiser packages (yes, they’re almost all ready to ship out!), and this is the most amount of people we’ve ever had here. I’ve scuttled off to The Cave to publish this week’s WANK while they’re all out there stickering and labeling. Not that I didn’t put in my fair share of effort. I gluesticked the bajesus out of all the CD packages! But we can’t NOT publish the WANK today…so here I am!

Actually, let me end off by saying this: we got blooper footage. Yay! If you’re into that kind of thing, you can see a bunch of scenes that didn’t make it past the final cut, but we save them here for bloopers anyways. More silliness, if that’s your thing.

 

ToFebruary
  1. Could you guys go back again to show more board games? My family and I have been watching korean dramas and reality shows that sometimes show them playing board games. We’d love to know the great games they have in Korea and we want to join in on the fun!

  2. The only game I am good is probably monopoly (landing in jail is easy for me XD)

  3. Does anyone know the actual name of the ballon game they played? Or is it just called the ballon game, lol? It seems like a good game to play at parties, mine especially!

  4. katamari theme song! naa nananananananana nananananana na na nanananananananana nanananananaaaaa

  5. Might I suggest that you go to the Seoul Museum of Chicken Art? Or perhaps the Seoul Animation Center?

  6. This is my favorite WANK so far. I’ve been so stressed out and this just brightened my day! Thanks for being hilarious, and that balloon game would scare anyone…

  7. Do you know of Fluxx, Aquarius, Chrononauts?

  8. OMG! you were playing UBONGO!!!
    …. I have this board game at home and I play it pretty often with my seven-year-old brother. He’s faster than you three together :D (I know you were playing it first time :) ) :D
    ….well you need a little more practice in puzzle folding! :D

  9. I don’t like this … Ryan hit Martina in the head with that thing more than he hit Simon (ò_ó)

    and…that balloon game …that reminded me of the period Korean dramas where criminals got tied up with a red string…

    ♥♥ ♥ ♥

  10. There’s a place like this in Toronto too! It called Snakes and Lattes and its soo close to Koreatown! It’s really an awesome to just chill! Sorry just wanted to let you know =)

  11. Why did you never move your tokens??? :(

  12. I can hear VIXX on and on in the background at the end!!!!

  13. We always play the baloon game in the netherlands!!<3 (altough i'm kinda scared for baloons…)

  14. I don’t know how many times I’ve asked you guys this…but if you want me to stop asking, just let me know, I will understand.

    I go to a meetup once a month in Gangnam at a board game cafe near the station, and I was really hoping you guys could come out sometime. If you come to the monthly meetup, there’s a discount, 5,000won all day, all you can play, plus 1,000won off of all drinks. We would love to see you there if you could find time to stop by. Here’s the meetup page:http://www.meetup.com/seoul-gamers/

  15. WHERE CAN I BUY THAT BALLOON GAME!? D:

  16. eh..why do my post keep disappearing..am i to old to be a nasty..is nasty and old so wrong ..tell me whyyyy

  17. There’s a similar board game cafe in Toronto called Snakes & Lattes (just east of Korea Town)

    https://www.facebook.com/snakesandlattes?ref=ts&fref=ts&rf=459931537353013

    It’s $5 per person and it’s all the games you want, for as long as you want, and you don’t have to order drinks/food, but is available. :D

    Hope you guise check this place out when you come back to Toronto! :D

  18. How is that game anything like Scattergories?! lol

    Scattergories is my game! (Except when you play w/ cheaters, then it SUCKS!)

  19. I have a friend that always get the sheep in Catan too. We call him the sheep-king.

  20. i want to play that balloon game :(

  21. hahaha i love how Martina can just threaten with the Princess Cafe now xD And..’normalcy’ guise? xDxDxD What happened to your english O.O

  22. DOES ANYONE KNOW THE ACTUAL NAME OF THE BALLOON POPPING GAME? I REALLY WANT TO BUY MYSELF ONE :)

  23. If you watch the bloopers, Ryan kinda raised his fist which looked as if he was about to punch. 2:43 mark.
    All the Nasties skipped a heart beat there. Lol.

  24. Question Question. Is the scrabble in korean too?

  25. This is soooooooooo greatttt!! I wish we had such cafes in Pakistan. O I so wish.. Best Best Best WANK EVAAAAARRR

  26. I agree with most people below. One of the best WANK’s. Ryan is a hoot!!
    I choked on my gum laughing so hard when you said ‘guest wanker’.

  27. On this week’s showdown we ask you, Simon, which was the more tortuous WANK? The Girly McGirlyson princess cafe or the balloon game from hell? Leave your big sissy votes in the big sissy comments and we’ll announce which WANK made Simon a bigger sissy next week!

    Just teasing Simon, I think you’re awesome!<3

  28. I laughed.. oh dear gods did I laugh. (Many hugs and much sympathy about the balloon!)
    I had tears, I was laughing so much.

    Best WANK ever?
    I think so.

  29. The little part with the song lyrics look-up was the BEST!!! Loved who you put as one of the usernames! Also, Ryan should be in more videos!

  30. This is like snakes and lattes in toronto.

  31. Someone needs to make a K-Pop Catan. Seriously, somebody make this happen.

  32. JEM!!!!! Truly truly truly outrageous!

  33. I really don’t get what is the first game about. And how you play it… I just don’t understand how “mask” is a thing you reproduce with Tetris like shape in a definite space.

    • I think how it works is you get a random board each round and then, something on the side of the board shows you which pieces you can use. So if you roll a mask you can only use the pieces that it says next to the mask, and you use them to fill in the white space.

  34. the word ‘guest wanker’ just made my day. hahaha :D

  35. ahaha omg Jem and the Holograms… You made my life Martina <3

  36. I know this has nothing to do with this video, but I was just thinking…how do Koreans get qualified to enter a certain grade? I’ve heard of tests for entering schools and such, but is there an age limit per grade or something? Or people born at a certain time of year can enter the grade level?

  37. i think that was actually the most enjoyable WANK i’ve seen yet! i laughed and cringed with you guys….. on another note RYAN is there! he was such a great addition to this week’s WANK…. those victory dances=precious^^

    who’s idea was it to fabricate that lyrics page? GENIUS! XD

  38. I laughed soooo hard watching this WANK that /I/ peed my pants a little too !!!! Definitely wanna go to a board game cafe one day and just cry while playing that balloon game xD

  39. kawaii_candie

    this looks like so much fun!! i wish they had those here!

  40. i wanna buy that balloon pop game!!! any idea where i can get it?!

  41. I actually went to look up bitches and hoes.

  42. This was definitely one of the funniest wanks in a long time ^.^ i would cry at that ballon game too….

  43. Hehe, sounds like a fun place! Although if you were to play monopoly or catan… oh dear. Those games never end and my family and we tend to ragequit after a couple hours because we have attention spans of squirrels.
    That balloon game and pirate thing reminds me of toasters. You know it’s going to pop out some time, but you always freak out when it does. :P

    • (Hey round two of voting is rdy if u wanna head over there again.)

      The pirate barrel game where you put knives in barrel and try not to get the pirate to pop out? Girl’s Day played that on GuruPop or w/e and it brought up bad memories of Mario Party mini-games that are solely based on luck and I nvr won at.

      • I’ve seen a lot of people playing games that rely on luck. One I remember especially is when there’s an alligator or something and you press its teeth down and try not to press the one tooth that makes the alligator close its mouth on you.

        • NANAandLIZZYfanatic

          Yeah! I think I had that as a little kid. I would purposely try to press them all down at once.

          I don’t have luck, I like games based on skill or knowledge. (Apple to Apples is kind of luck but it’s hilarious w/ any of my relatives because we have the same twIsted humor, so it’s my fav.)

        • lumierenoire

          I think Apples to Apples is one of the most entertaining games in existence as long as you have interesting people with you. Sure it’s luck sometimes, but it also requires some sense of skill if you want to think deeply into it. What kind of answer would the person choosing choose? Do they prefer something humorous or literal answers? When it comes to family and when I get competitive, I tend to think that way. When I’m with friends, we’re all so immature that I just always go for the weird/funny answers.

        • NANAandLIZZYfanatic

          Anne Frank is my auto-win card. I’ll almost always pick it lol. One time as judge I had to choose between Hellan Keller and Michael Jackson for dysfunctional.
          My grandma tries to take our stupid answers literally and we die laughing.
          Both sides of the family have enough crazy ppl where it’s enjoyable. When I play w/ ppl who don’t know what the cards even are or are always literal (or random and not funny or literal) then it tends to drag.

        • lumierenoire

          I remember one time the category was Glamorous, so I put My Family down. Yay for kissing up? Some other ones were My Hair, Tiger Woods, and some other cards that I can’t remember.

    • Oh dear, holidays with my immediate family usually turn into battles over the board game that end in ragequit. We are all way too competitive and can remember years back to when so-and-so chose to back-pipeline someone and consequently give the win to another person. (As you can tell, I’m still holding a grudge about that one.) I have actually woken up the next morning with a hoarse throat and a scratchy voice from all the yelling. ^^;;

  44. unicornsgalaxy

    Can I say, I squeeled like a little girl when you guys started singing the theme song to Jem and the Holograms! Seriously, I had their cassette tape when I was a kid and ROCKED OUT to it constantly!!! And Ryan, Serious props for being able to sing along! Plus I just rewatched the series on Netflix…Yeah I re-watch my childhood cartoons.

    Serously LOVED this wank! It was hilarious and so was Ryan!!!!

    • Only the best strategy game on the planet. Actually the full name of the game is “Settlers of Catan” (I actually call it Settlers) and there are many expansion packs and different versions. The best way I can explain it, it is like Risk where you try to take control over the most territories but its only in the land of Catan, and you try to take control of various territories to gain control of resources which you use to build towns/cities and roads to connect them. I highly recommend it if you like board games.

  45. The headband of poo is priceless….

  46. Ryan’s nananana was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time

  47. that seems like a fun hang out :P
    tthey sell that pirate game here it in Canadian stores…idk if still do

  48. Buwhahah, I love this video but oh my garsh, I squealed in fear when the balloon game came out. I also have a fear of popping balloons…so no, just NO!! Have you seen that lie detector game they play on variety shows? It looks painful.

  49. lol to you guys’ reaction to the balloon, because just the other day, I popped a balloon with my BARE hands with my NAILS. kekekekeke, I feel LIKE A MAN.

    btw. in the beginning of the blooper, there is AKDONG MUSICIANS’ CRESCENDO playing in the back ground!!!! XD

  50. I would love for my friends to my family or friends to lose. You have an excuse to hit them! Although they would hit me back, but totally worth it.

  51. You guys should go back this weekend to celebrate the first ever, International Table Top Day lead by Geek & Sundry. It’s an international board gaming day!! How cool is that. You can join the ranks of Felicia Day, Will Wheaton and even Seth Green. See http://www.tabletopday.com for more info. It should be super cool though. I plan to stop by one of the ones being organized in the Madison, WI area for an hour or two. I figure it will be great stress relief.

  52. PunkyPrincess92

    a board game cafe!!! how CUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEE!!!!!!!!
    i totally googled ‘bitches and hos Martina lyrics’…..
    ahahahha poop heads!!!

    oh my god!! that Balloon Pop game is hella scary!!!
    i really don’t think board games are supposed to make you play in such fear!!
    it’s like watching someone who hates horror movies…watch a horror movie!!
    ahahahhaa i love your “normal” game of connect 4!!

  53. Hey Simon thanks for representing Chitown! Go Bulls! We just beat Miami :) from Chicagoan Jenny

  54. Luckily we had Meemers dropping dem knowledge bombs! And I would love to see you play like an hour of Catan. There is this board game program on youtube and I love it.

  55. KATHyphenTUN

    “We are husband and wife it’s ‘our’ sweater!!!!!!!” you guys are so cute! :D
    I’m so glad you played the balloon game i was laughing untill i started crying!!! so funny!!!

  56. Ugh, that balloon game would be TORTURE for me – I’m terrified of popping balloons ^~^;; But that looked seriously fun. Why can’t I have cool cafes around here

  57. Next time you guys are in Toronto there is actually this EXCELLENT board game cafe on the edge of Koreatown at Bathurst/Bloor called ‘Snakes & Lattes’!!! They have THOUSANDS of board games :D

  58. Need to play the balloon and the pirate game should I find myself ever in a cafe that offers those. The madness and adrenaline would be glorious. Do it in the middle of testing week or something.

  59. after watching the video, you guys need to go back to your roots and rep the Blue Jays!!!!

  60. Me and my friend played the game LIFE for soooooo long and we kept makeing our “families” bigger even though we messed with the rules in the end it was so fun ^^ we made a giant family tree for both of our “families” too :D (we got reallly bored so we decided to make it alittle bit interesting ^^)

  61. Ubongo? A swedish game? I’m swedish, and I’ve never even heard of it….

  62. I wish we had the same sort of cafe culture here in North America. Why just go to a place and drink coffee when you can play dress up or have a board game night!? It looks like so much fun! Also, I love seeing you guys WANK with new people.

    • Dulce Maria Lopez

      I know right! I don’t know why North America doesn’t have those kind of things. There PROBABLY are some of them, somewhere hidden from any living creature o_0… We should start our own business xD

    • They do have places like this though, in the US. In some states I’ve started to see nerd places like “Dragon’s Keep” pop up. You don’t pay by the hour, but they have a room with a bunch of board games you can play for free, and a cafe next to it that you can get food from and drinks from.

  63. That looks like so much fun!!!!

  64. Woah. Ryan exists outside of indie request?!? Blow your mind.

  65. This is kinda like you’re celebrating International Tabletop Day! It’s actually March 30th, and even if you didn’t know about it, this WANK is very timely. :D

  66. I almost spit soup all over my pc when ryan tried to move out of the shot in the beginning. Ryan should be part of EYK family.

  67. HAHA… I haven’t seen the Pirate-POP game for ages… first time I ever saw it was in a Fanta Commercial… errr, hard to explain. If you search the Japanese Fanta Commercials (with subtitles) you will see what I mean (also, I didn’t want to drop the actual link as it might look like I was spruking my own video or something). Black Beard SENSEI! Side-note if you are up on your 90′s Japanese culture, these ads were very tongue in cheek and well done, similar to the 7up Up Yours! campaign with Orlando Jones. Couple of Manga references too…

    any-old-duck … great W.A.N.K guys, those board games cafes do look like fun… A few years ago, whilst I was doing University at Wagga Wagga (NSW, Australia) there used to be a cafe called SCRIBBLES… the table cloths were made of paper and they gave you crayons so you could draw on the table cloths. Kept the kids busy…. and uni art students. side note, good food, except for the chicken parmigiana, kinda was a schnitzel with mozzarella and parmigiana melted to the top of it, but at least the steak diane was great!

  68. “They are so married, they are sooooooo married” – Ryan
    lololol, and that’s why we love them <3

  69. Wait, these hammers really make this sound when you hit someone? I thought it was a part of variety shows’ editing!
    I still don’t get the rules of Ubongo… During the balloon part I felt the tension just like I was there ;] And lol, I didn’t even notice the top of Ryan’s head behind Simon at the beginning. I wonder how long did he have to hide there ;)
    Cool WANK!

  70. ah the bloopers are making me want to pay katamari sooo bad!

  71. A lot of cafes and bars in Toronto have board games and such for people to play. I remember playing a game with monkeys while polishing 2 bottles of soju w.in an hour on a date. That was fun. There are also comic book and hobby stores that hold board game nights once a week. A friend went to a board game night a brewery held where they served beer all night.

  72. I love how Simon is in the corner trying to recover after the balloon popping. I feel your pain Simon. I despise the sound of balloons popping from the bottom of my soul, seriously.

  73. I’m watching this as just before I’m off to Snakes and Lattes in Toronto. This is a signnnn!

  74. OMG Jem and the Holograms! (^_____^)

  75. Haha the name of the first board game is almost my first name.
    I am loving that with each video the editing and the ‘extras’ is getting better and interesting. Good job EYK team.

  76. Moral of the story: Martina should refuse to play any game where random things pop based on chance. She’ll lose.
    Take me with you next time T_T I wanna play at the board game cafe D: Except I would just play Life and nothing but Life.

  77. hahaha that was fun! here we have board game cafes too in turkey ( yes i am a turkish nasty :D) but it is much cheaper here. you can sit like 5 hours you can play 95346723 games but you still pay like 3 dollars i think. and that is all. even you are crowded like 20 or just 2 you still pay 3 dollars. and you can have milkshakes cheesecake drinks and waffles it is such a sweet place :D
    i love you guys ^.^

  78. i would actually watch a 3 hour video of u guys playing catan

  79. who eles searched up ”bitches and hos” Martina lyrics ?

  80. Lol, I realy enjoyed this video
    (And as it said in the comments of Martina’s song, I hope Zico does do a cover xD)

  81. Wow this place looked amazing xD
    Pop-Up Pirate i haven’t seen that game in such a long time it brought back my childhood in an instant, i wonder if they had Buckaroo?
    Its great to see Ryan in videos more often now too you know when he’s not attending an amazing Indie shows. Such an awesome guy xD

  82. Wow, this seems more or less like the ideal way to spend time with your friends :D I’d definitely go there if I were in Seoul (although I’d probably leave out Balloon Pop and the poop hat)! :D

  83. Is Meemers EYK’s official disclaimer/awkward mistake correction/”sorry for the mistake” representative?

  84. We have one like this in our small town in France, called “Café Jeux”, but only young people are aloud to come ^^ (so 10 to 25 years olds), and we can also play Warhamer there ^^

  85. I think you should have to play the balloon game blindfolded!

  86. Ryaaaan!!

    That balloon game looks like the most evil game ever, but I think I would totally play it just to mess with my friends….and I think it great that you’re bringing others in on your WANKS- maybe having some of your friends come along for some WANKs or FAPFAPs will allow you to see more of them.

  87. cool cafe…me likey…balloon game, not so likey

  88. That balloon game does look like the game of the devil…they should have a heart attack warning label stuck to it

  89. and in the end you all had to much fun and played longer “ADDICTING”

  90. i love how paranoid you all got and then the paranoia continued during the connect four AMAZING and CLASSIC

  91. That Poo hat is so cool i want it “my precious” i want to put it on my twin sister ….. she deserves it

  92. This is soooo funny i cracked up, i was also cringing my face waiting for that balloon to pop #scary

  93. Poor poor Simon…

    and nice to see Ryan in this one!

  94. Your Bulls hat is super appropriate as I watch your WANK today…because we beat the Heat streak! (Had to go there…)

  95. “Why did you buy this cookies?” Now, is that a question that ever needs to be asked? ^_^ It looks like so much fun. I’m studying in a small city in Germany, and though it is very lovely, I wish there was more to do along the lines of a Pulsa Bang or a Game Board Cafe. I’m just not much for going to clubs or bars, and as much as I love opera and the theater, I don’t have the money to do that sort of thing on a regular basis.

  96. no wonder S&M find TVXQ’s Balloons so scary….
    it’s a double whammy of men in animal costumes and balloons ^.^

  97. omgosh jem and the misfits! ahh my childhood :)

  98. That cafe looks so fun!!! OMG. So many games!

  99. RYAN!!! RYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN :D

    Wow that shop has more games than my uncle’s house. Now that’s impressive o_O

    I think I’ll be able to survive in Korea, now that I know such a cafe exists :D

    • haha I knew you would freak out Lalita. get your ass over here so we can play some games and see some damn indie shows

      • Heh my dad asked who you were, and I told him ‘he’s the indie guy’ xD I’d love to see how Korean mosh pits are. Do they smell as bad as ours? :p

        I’ll just warn you that our family are hardcore boardgamers for over 3 generations, so I’ll be looking forward to smashing you all BWAHAHAHA XD

      • When I saw you in the Wank, I knew something bad was going to happen to Martina. This proves it! Martina will get vengeance, VENGEANCE!!!!!!

  100. BALLOONPOP Inspired by: HELLRAISER

  101. Oooh. new theme.. so nasty xD Or maybe I just didn’t check this part of the site yet .__.

  102. Best way to play pop-up-pirate, throw out the pirate and replace it with candy, WONDERFUL FLYING CANDY!

  103. Yes Martina!!! It feels good knowing I’m not the only one who has loves the sheeps hahaha

  104. How’s the volunteer production line going btw? I saw some disgruntled comments on Facebook, from people who weren’t there, but I’m guessing the people who are there are having the time of their lives…?
    *is jealous* *bites hanky*

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