So, writing a blog post for this might be a bit awkward. I’m not sure how to really elaborate or to give any different ideas, which is what we usually do in our blog posts. We use the video as a springboard for different ideas, but here in this post I didn’t really discuss any ideas. It was just me telling stories about myself in video animation format. I guess what I can say is some extra information, maybe? The video was long and there were some things that we had to cut out to make it of somewhat reasonable length.

My brother and sister: I mentioned them briefly. I’ll talk more about them here. My brother’s name is Slavek. He has two kids, Shanice, who is now 20, and Therren, who’s 15. Shanice is half-Spanish (I’m pretty sure!) while Therren is half-Jamaican (I’m pretty sure as well!). I’m a bad uncle. I was really close with them when I was younger and they were first born. This was before my two years of university isolation. I haven’t really gotten that much closer with them since, but I know that when I see them when I come back to Canada I miss them dearly.

My sister’s name is Marta. She’s married to Richard. They have two beautiful kids, Ethan and Maya, who are also half-Jamaican. We have a very multicultural family :D I’m Maya’s godfather, but I’m terrible at it. I’ve been away from the family since I’ve been married and I haven’t had the chance to see her grow up. Ethan I spent some time with when he was first born, before I became hermitted, but afterwards it’s pretty much the same as with my other niece and nephew.

I’m closest with my parents. I speak with them once a week on FaceTime. I talked about it briefly in the video how thankful I am for all they did for us. One part I had to cut out because I’d just sob through the whole thing is that, when I was a teenager, going through my punk fake-hardcore giant-asshole phase, I was terrible to them. Just terrible. They won’t tell the story that way. They’ll say that I was an angel, but I remember how mean I was to them, how rude and inconsiderate I was to them, how I mistreated them. It’s one of my most shameful times of my life and I feel terrible for being such a bad kid. It’s one of the things that scares me the most if I ever were to be a father myself: my parents were nothing but loving and supportive of me, and I repaid them terribly back then. What if my kids were to do the same? It’d be karma. I’d accept it as divine justice, but I just couldn’t imagine surviving it, not only for my own sake, but because it’d be a constant reminder of how bad I was back then. I’m a better son now, but I’ll never forget how great my parents were for me.

Martina’s awesome: I can’t do justice to talking about her in a video or a blog post. She has something that I just haven’t seen in anyone before. There’s a purity of spirit in her, a freedom from the shades of adulthood, that you can’t quite explain. It’s like a child’s innocence, the way they find pleasure in running through fields and playing with bubbles and petting caterpillars, but it’s without the ignorance associated with childhood. She’s exceptionally smart and capable: she’s witnessed some of the shittiness of the world and of human nature, and has still maintained her joy for life. I don’t know how to explain it. She’s not a perfect human being; we all have heavy shadows around us, all of us, but she’s fought hers off more than I’ve ever seen anyone do before. I don’t know how that makes sense in writing. Sorry if it doesn’t.

I just realized that most of this blog post was about my family and friends, and about my difficulties in connecting with others. It’s odd, then, that I do so much stuff online. I’m not good at connecting in person; I’m better at connecting online. I’ve spoken with more people online here, in the comment section to this site, than I have with some of my own family and friends. Thanks, guise, for being so Nasty and chatting with me from time to time. I really appreciate it.

Martina’s planning her Draw My Life video now as well, and should get to filming it soon. You’ll see it next week!

ToFebruary
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