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How Good is a $140 Melon?

June 25, 2017

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to our videos! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? A full month, it seems. We were in Canada for three weeks. The first two were with our families, as there was a bit of an emergency we needed to be there for, and the last week was for our ten year wedding anniversary. Ten years! We went to a cottage in Huntsville with no internet and thought about what retirement might look for us down the road. Quick answer: in a cottage surrounded by mosquitos and blackflies is not for us!

But we’re back in Japan now, and we’re so happy to be here. Legitimately really really happy. When we first moved here we were excited to start something new, but now that we’ve been here for almost a year and a half, our return to Japan felt a lot different for us. A friend sent us a Line message saying “welcome back to your REAL home,” which I can’t say for sure if Japan is our real home, but there was a strong sense of homecoming this time around.

Some things in Canada really struck us as odd this time around. We talk about it a bit in our podcast, but it’s really the taste of food that surprised us the most. And so, it only makes sense now that we’re back in Japan that we buy the most expensive and luxurious fruit and see what it’s like!

I think this is probably the best time for us to do this video. Why? Because our tastebuds change every time we travel. For instance: when we first came to Canada, we went to Tim Horton’s right away, and we got the bagel BELT, which we get every time we go back to Canada and love it. This time, though, when we had it, it tasted HORRIBLE. Just horrible. It was just salt condensed into different textures. But, after three weeks, we had Tim Horton’s again before flying out, and it tasted significantly better. It could be that the first and last time we had it prepared differently, sure, but it can also be, I think, that our tastes adjusted in eating Canadian food for three weeks. Side note: I didn’t know how much I FREAKING LOVE CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH. I gained five pounds from eating it everyday. I’ve lost three of those pounds since coming back but damn it’s good. The point is, now that our tastebuds have adjusted back to Canadian flavours, I feel like we can describe this melon in more relatable ways to the majority of you watching from North America, no?

So, how can I say this in a way that’s understandable? These melons are just unfathomably delicious. Please, anyone here reading this let me know: do any of you actually like musk melons? I hated it in Canada. Just hated it. It could very well be because I’ve only had shitty versions of it, mostly added as an afterthought in a sidebowl of fruit to accompany the main dish. Every time I had melon it was tough and just tasted wrong. All of the cantaloupe I’ve had before Japan was monkeyballs awful as well. It’s only here that I’ve had cantaloupe and melons that taste delicious. Actually legitimately delicious. Not like “oh yeah, I can eat this without hating myself,” which is what I’d do with melon regularly. Here, the melon is just amazing. It’s sweet and flavourful, in a way that I can only compare to a melon candy, if you’ve had melon candy. Melon in Japan tastes like those candies. Better than those candies. Melon in Japan isn’t so tough that you ask yourself whether it’s ripe or not.

Honestly, I think it might be that so much of the produce I ate in Canada and America is imported when it’s out of season. I remember walking to a Metro in Canada and walking past the produce section, and seeing a sign for “PREMIUM BANANAS.” All of the bananas were greener than the melon we’re eating. Deep freaking green. HOW THE HELL ARE THESE PREMIUM?! Sweet mercy I’d hate to see what an average banana is like, then, if hard unripe bananas are considered premium. I remember thinking the same thing when we were walking through a Shopper’s Drug Mart and seeing Premium Lube. WHAT THE HELL IS CHEAP LUBE THEN?! And is it safe to put on my special bits?

This brings me to a bit of a point here: we walked through lots of stores and saw tons of weasel words like this, words used to make bad products seem better than they actually are, and it led me to wonder a bit about censorship in the media. I mean, parents want to censor video games because they’re worried it’ll influence their kids into murdering people, which is a super dubious claim. Why aren’t advertisements and marketing more strictly regulated? Advertisements directly and intentionally try to influence people, adults and kids, into buying shit they don’t need, influence them into buying into a lifestyle they can’t afford, influence them into bad money management and debt. Ok I’m gonna stop. I think I’ve become too much of a hippie from my three weeks in Canada. It’s ok, though: my sensibilities will re-adjust here in Japan. But I doubt I’ll think less of this melon. It’s so damned good.

But ain’t no way in hell I’d spend $140 on it again!

Also, extra scenes here, if you feel like it!

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How Good is a $140 Melon?

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  1. I’m so happy to see you back! I really missed your videos!! And thank you for tasting expensive fruits for us. I may not spend that much for a fruit but I would be pleased to received them as gifts.

    3 months ago
  2. Hello Simon and Martina,
    I am very happy you came back.
    Thank you for making a Japanese fruit video but please read the tag carefully next time. Expensive fruits are usually tagged with a best day for consumption. Your $140 melon was tagged for June 27-28. You guys ate the melon too early !!
    I felt a little sad, that you guys weren’t able to eat it at the best timing. My father is farmer in southern Kangawa and used to grow melons. I know how hard much work he put in to grow his melons so that the consumers were able to eat delicious melons. I wished that you had eaten it at the best timing. A tip for recognizing the best time to eat melons are to wait till the bottom is a little soft.

    Anyhow, I enjoyed watching this video and I would love to see more videos about Japanese fruits and vegetables. My father currently grows watermelons. If you guys are interested in seeing Japanese water melons please contact me;)

    3 months ago
  3. One of the trends in NA thats getting hot right now is becoming a “Locavore”, which is essentially eating only local foods, and in turn only foods that are currently in season. I live in a pretty hippy dippy city and we have tons of farmers markets and farms nearby so I’ve gotten to have my fair share of fresh from farm in season fruits and they are significantly better than typical market produce. The past two weeks in northern NA was strawberry season so I have a basket full of strawberries which are tiny but better than anything I could ever eat from the regular grocery store, that being said, strawberry season is just two weeks long. Canada and NA have vast climate differences so I guess a lower quality fruit or veg is a price to pay for access to different kinds of things, whereas Japan is much smaller with a better climate, so it does seem a lot easer to get local, in season fruit. My family is from the super super northern parts of Russia above scandinavia, and the produce there SUCKS. It’s all imported because nothing grows there and its awful and sad.
    (Also, I agree that in NA they cover EVERYTHING in salt. Blegh)

    3 months ago
  4. I think that, out of all the food comparison videos that you’ve done (granted, not that many), this was the best XD. The little lead up at the store and the ending clinched it but I think you also did a great job of showing and describing the melons themselves.

    Do newlyweds in Japan go on honeymoons? If they do, would it really make sense to give them a gift that’s perishable? Maybe fancy fruit is for a different kind of party or as a host-gift? I do think that Japan goes the most over-the-top when it comes to fancy produce, but again, they’ve got micro-climates due to their topography so it makes some sense. Melons are tricky. I suspect that the $140 melon was 1) a special variety, 2)picked exactly ripe off the vine, and 3) given a life of luxury as it grew up (for that perfect shape). It’s amazing how much difference these things can make. Part of the price you are paying are for all the melons that didn’t make the final cut. Melons that are even a little unripe taste horrible. The grocery store melons in Canada are mostly imported, picked unripe, ripened “in the truck”. If you can snag a ripe one, they aren’t bad, but nothing compared to one picked ripe and of the more tender varieties. There’s only a small window for growing them here (harvest in late August/early September) and unless you’re a restaurant, you have to get them at a farmer’s market as, picked ripe, they bruise easily and grocery store don’t buy them. I’ve taken to growing them in my garden the last 2 years with some success. French heritage melon seeds are the best variety for taste and more reliable as they don’t turn out as weird quasi-melons-cucumber-crosses that hybrid seeds sometimes get you. Apparently all cantaloupes in Canada are technically a variety of muskmelons, they are not true cantaloupes? Only the french ones, which look more like pumpkins….But I have yet to find a yellow muskmelon at the grocery store that I would eat, maybe I will try one from the market this year though, based on you guys liking them. If it’s good, maybe I will grow it. I also sometimes buy imported fruit at the grocery store and if it hasn’t been irradiated, I steal the seeds for me garden (moohoohahahaha!) I remember when Simon would spit out Melon-flavoured drinks – LOL things change, eh?

    I’ve been listening to your SBSs while I’ve been out gardening lately. I’m not surprised that you were bored in Muskoka. Or with driving long distances. While retiring to a cottage sounds romantic, it’s lots more work than living in a small town with all the amenities and having to go to the hospital or whatever becomes a lot trickier since it’s so far away. If you go up to Northern Ontario again, try Manitoulin Island. There may be mosquitos there (and this is the worst year for them in my lifetime in all of Ontario) but no blackflies at all. Looking forward to more videos again soon ^_^v

    Oh, as for false advertising. Since you haven’t been watching tv in Canada lately, in the last 20 years, there have been some changes. First, all channels or shows for small kids can’t have ANY advertising (other than for other shows). They are talking about banning all food advertising for kids in general, we’ll see what happens. We cut our cable more than 10 years ago so our son rarely sees an ad of any sort but it’s getting harder to protect him from the proliferation of ads online as the school rams more computer stuff and social media down their throats. We’ll see how it goes. I’m not anti-technology, but schools seem to be using the internet/youtube to babysit kids these days, keep them distracted so that they need less attention, so sad. Also the schools get paid for how many accounts *cough*data gathering*cough*clickbait*cough*social media and game-addiction*cough* they sign up student for so……..conflict of interest, much?

    3 months ago
  5. Imagine a super duper fancy expensive melon for a wedding present? Hmm… no, thank you. Things that are THAT expensive should be more intricate like a full-course meal or at least something I could actually keep. A piece of pottery would still be a piece of pottery in a year while the melon would be just piece of… well…something entirely different XD

    3 months ago
  6. Key words to make bad things seem good should be a crime, but it’s the American way! Watch Forks Over Knives! You are being tricked into so many things just by being in school…

    3 months ago
  7. TJL

    Welcome back guys!!

    3 months ago