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The Horrors of Flavored Water

November 19, 2017

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Hello everybody!

Flavored water: I know some of you might be fans of it. We have some friends that like it. Heck, even Dan likes it. But for us, it’s not our thing. And I think we were too horrified in the video to explain why. Here’s my chance! So, you know how fruit candy doesn’t necessarily taste like the fruit it represents, but it kinda vaguely does. See, candy is tolerable because it has all that sugar making it tolerable. But if you just take those chemical flavors without anything else to distract you from the chemicals, well then you get horrified looks on our faces. I actually think if you mixed this with Sprite it’d be a lot better. I think it’s kind of like how some people don’t like seafood, but they like lobster, because they actually really just like dipping lobster in butter, because they like butter, because butter is delicious. Hell, if we had these water flavours in butter I’d be a lot happier.

Also, this video was a bit weird, because we were feeling weird. Martina wasn’t having the best pain day, but sitting at home isn’t going to help a lick. Why not go to the park and try a bunch of stuff we don’t like on camera? I realize that we should have maybe done something that Martina does like instead. That was poor planning.

But at the same time, we finally have a video about something we don’t like in Japan! See! It’s possible! We tried and failed with our video on Japanese pizza, but now we finally have a bad video under our belts, and we can go back to eating food we like. Huzzah!

And, I don’t know what happened, but we kinda jumped the shark with the editing of this video. It just seemed like the right place for us to be a lot sillier than usual. It could be because we’re almost done another one of our really high end food documentary videos, and that’s so serious with no room for playfulness that we overindulged in editing this video. Though we both had a good laugh editing it. Hopefully you did as well while watching it. More extra weirdness below :D

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The Horrors of Flavored Water

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  1. jun

    Hi guys. Flavored water is pretty popular in Norway, and I drink it rather often (though it’s just fruit/berry flavors), usually carbonated as well.
    Do you have any specific recommendations for December visit in Tokyo? Gonna be there for a week with my girlfriend.
    Met you guys in Oslo btw! Was very happy to get your signature and drawing :D
    Anyway, I think there’s some problems with your website, I can see lots of tags like ‘[wps-usermeta meta=’wpspro_home’ label=”]’, and I couldn’t use the facebook login feature, sorry!

    2 weeks ago
  2. Hey Guise, I’ve been a lurker for years, but I signed up to be a Nasty just so I could comment on this video. It was so wonderful to see you both happy and having fun. I didn’t realise until I saw it, how much I missed the videos where you’re competing against each other and just mucking around.

    I understand what it can be like as my husband and I both have chronic illnesses. Some days are worse than others, and you don’t know what’s coming, you just have to accept your limitations. I mean, it must be really hard for Simon to leave the house some days with those enormous muscles: he would barely fit through the door…. XD

    Keep going!
    #buildaladder

    2 weeks ago
  3. I really loved how extra weird you made this video HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

    3 weeks ago
  4. Personally, I love these silly videos :D. You’ve been doing some really solid serious work and they come out beautifully, but these videos remind me of why I got so hooked on your channel in the first place.

    3 weeks ago
  5. You actually spelled “flavored” without a “u”! I guess you guys have been away from Canada long enough that you’re starting to spell like “gasp” us Americans! Where will it lead?

    4 weeks ago
    • Martina and I actually disagree on this. She spells it with a u but I hate spelling it that way. So, it was me!

      3 weeks ago
  6. Y’know, usually I’d think flavoured water would sound like a good idea, but recently I’ve been taking this medicine that tastes exactly like if you had a fresh strawberry juice, emptied the cup, let it sit for a few days, and then poured fresh water into the dirty cup, and that sounds eerily reminiscent of what you guys wrote about the flavoured water xD

    4 weeks ago
  7. Martina’s a brave woman for drinking that disgusting concoction.

    4 weeks ago
  8. Gagging at work imagining water tasting like “Royal Milk Tea”. Thanks for the laughs!

    4 weeks ago
  9. Hi Simon and Martina! I don’t know if you jumped the shark, but yeah, those mini-interludes with Spudgy and Meemers didn’t make tons of sense but they were so cute that I didn’t care! XD Adding more flare and changing up the shot with effects really kept the hype rolling with what could have been a pretty boring subject, so good jorb! Are you using a new camera? Maybe it was just the crisp daylight of fall but it really looked like you were filming in front of a green screen, even though I’m pretty sure that you weren’t. For times like this, you need to have someone walk to the background and interact with it so that it’s more obvious. Those photobombing kids were hilarious and I think also livened the scenery. Usually you guys will edit in some effects or texts with that sort of thing and I was waiting for it but it didn’t happen, missed opportunity. Overall, a super fun video, reminded me of your SBS Pop Asia Radio show which, frankly, I hope you start to film because, even though they’re kind of scripted, they are a super adorable and heartwarming which is a big part of what makes you guys so lovable.

    What you drank in punishment Martina, is what we call, “The AssHat Drink”. When you take all the leftovers from a party (usually booze) and mix it up. It’s always a punishment to drink and always disgusting. I think I barfed a little in my mouth at that last slurrrrrrrpppppp, thanks for that :P LOL!

    You keep mentioning that pizza video but I wonder, was it really delicious? Like Simon said in the blog, maybe you were just hungry. You do realize that if you do the fasting-diet-type-eating-style for more than 2 weeks, you can easily tip your body into starvations mode, right? Then 1) you don’t really lose weight any more because your body holds on to fat tighter, 2) even disgusting rotting food, especially if it has carbs, will be simply delicious, and 3) you’re putting a serious strain on your liver and pancreas, which could lead to real problems in the future. Just remember, if it smells digusting, there’s no way it can be delicious. Edible, but not delicious because smell is half of your taste sense. You’re better off eating small delicious meals for your calories. One piece of bacon, a poached egg on whole wheat toast, 3 Tbsp of fullfat vanilla yogurt on half a sliced banana or a small handful of berries is a great breakfast that covers all the bases, filling and delicious and is only about 200 calories or less. Also, I have a secret to tell you: smoothies are evil. Delicious, but actually bad for you, no matter how much stuff you put in them. Why? You can look up the studies but, it boils down this basically: you’re pre-processing your fruit. In breaking up the fruit and vegetable and liquidizing it, you’re a) stealing the job of your body to burn a lot of energy of digesting the food through chewing and stomach action, b) you’re diluting your stomach acids to the point where they are not as effective for this type of food so that you won’t absorb as much nutrition from the contents, c)breaking the fibre down too far so that it doesn’t do its job of helping to scrub your insides. So smoothies actually add more useless calories than what they contain. Eat the fruit, eat the kale, eat the yogurt, drink the coffee, add honey or maple syrup, or nuts or whatever to sweeten the yogurt and kale if you like, it’s still way better for you nutrition-wise, and calorie-wise. And far more satisfying. Whole milk (pasteurized but not homogenized) is better for you for the same reason. Just drink less, it fills you up faster anyways.

    By the way, I agree, flavoured water is totally disgusting. I remember back in my 20s when I used to drink a lot of Crystal Light, which is basically the same thing (to keep calories low, flavoured water uses aspartame or other “no calorie” sweeteners, and a fair bit of salt to taste less bitter from these chemicals), I used to like it. But, I think it’s because I didn’t drink any “plain” water. Like ever, really. The whole idea of drinking water by itself seemed like a waste of effort when I could drink flavour. Now, I do drink plain water a lot and I can’t STAND Crystal Light. Why? It’s not scientific but I think it’s because once your body gets used to the fact that water will refresh you, naturally, without confusing your digestive system with salt and fake sugar chemicals, so it’s actually better for you since the effects are more….honest? Maybe people like it because they just don’t drink enough plain water. Just my thoughts.

    Simon – what is with your Castro look -LOL? It’s like when you shaved your head, you stopped trimming your beard? Or is it a zen thing? You could to wear a toga and sit under a waterfall ;) An onsen waterfall might actually be pleasant :). Martina, I looooove your nasty boob-harness sweatshirt. It rides up too high on you (your boobs cannot be contained!) but that just makes it look extra nasty ;). Well, hopefully I can behave myself now. I realized when I was listening to one of your podcasts that: I’m old. Older than you by like, a decade. It’s neither here nor there, it’s just I guess that I felt frustrated when it seemed like you were just learning/realizing stuff that I’d taken for granted for many years. We all have our own path and your path allows you to educate people on what you’ve learned and that’s wonderful and admirable. I should be more like you and less easily frustrated when people that haven’t taken the same path as me, obviously haven’t learned the same things. If I think I can teach you anything in kind, I’ll try to be less stupid/jerky/impatient about it? You’ve taught me a lot. Thanks ^_^v

    4 weeks ago
    • Sorry for the wall o’ text guise, that sounded nicer in my head than maybe it turned out in text…? BTW, good luck with the MRI Martina, they are really useful. In the rare case that it shows nothing new, it can still eliminate a large list of problems to help your doctor move forward with a diagnosis. I hope you get your issues resolved soon and you are a trooper, you could not tell at all from the video that you were in pain. Maybe you were distracted by the godawful asshat drink ;)

      4 weeks ago
      • Don’t apologize for the wall of text. It’s always great to read. Like a blog post within the blog post. I can’t answer all of the things in there, but I’ll try to answer some: 1) I didn’t want to edit in too much attention to the kids because I don’t want a parent to get potentially upset, even though it’s a public area. I don’t know why, but I feel like people get really upset over lots of dumb shit lately, and I don’t want the wrath of a bored housemom gobbling up my time. 2) I’ve read different things about intermittent fasting and its benefits. Mostly, I just don’t believe in the three meals a day bit, because when the hell did we eat three meals a day in the wild? We’d feast, and then famine, then feast, and we were fine for it. I think we’re pushed into overconsumption of food. Eat more! Eat it with friends! Buy more! I’m super skeptical of companies trying to get us to buy more stuff that we don’t need. And I forgot where my next train of thought is taking me. Today’s been a long day!

        3 weeks ago
        • I totally get not wanting to focus on the kids for potentially upset parents. I was actually kind of surprised you included them but happy. I don’t know how to solve the “light is too great, throws us into the uncanny valley” problem, but I’m not a cinematographer. Okay, I literally just went and researched the question for lulz and well…”camera with bigger dynamic range for daylight”, “sun behind your shot” are two things that jump out at me, but probably impossible given where you were shooting. {throws hands in the air}Does it even matter? Having too good of lighting isn’t really a “problem”. I was just telling my husband this morning that I am very frightened (and very little scares me) of all this “wrong think/right think” talk and the creep of over-litiginous-ness to even Canadian society. I’m glad that you guise are so positive and um, into harmony(?) so that I don’t feel so alone on that sometimes. :) As for the food stuff, well, I agree on the whole over-consumption of food and especially pre-processed food being bad. The whole 3 meals was more to make sure that people remembered to feed their kids, rather than a healthy idea. While our ancestors did end up stuck in a feast/faminine cycle, that doesn’t mean that it was healthy for them and I’m sure they would have preferred not to be. I’ve gone through 2 bouts of starvation, so I’m not totally talking out of my butt when I say that your body will change the way it reacts to food, I’ve been told by my doctors and have done a little research as well. Once, when I’d lost my job suddenly away from home and was too proud to tell anyone for 6 months. The other time, I was just so emotionally upset, I couldn’t eat at all for 3 weeks – I had to get a doctor’s note for my work it was so bad (this surprised me because something like this had never happened before – I love food!). Starvation Mode, even if you only just keep touching on it, creates chemical changes in your body that affect the way your brain looks at food, and at life (your whole attitude – it can cause depression for realz) and every time you engage that mode, it gets harder and harder to turn off. This is part of why anorexia is a real issue that needs medical and psychological intervention to cure. Myself, I’ve come full circle myself on the Canada Food Guide. Can anyone who disses it actually say that they followed it? “5-9 servings of fruit and vegetables per day”, seems like it alone might fill me up for the day, it just seems like too much food. However, if you did just that, ate 5-9 servings of fresh fruit and vegetables for the day and then ticked the boxes for how much of the other 3 food groups you ate, I think you’d be satisfied and realize that it’s actually a pretty good plan. In North America, our parents in their post-war upbringing and the whole winter/no fresh produce thing have brought us up focusing on “meat and potatoes”. The whole idea of fruit and vegetables was kind of an afterthought because a lot of the year, it was a luxury. After spending a fair bit of time talking with my Grandma about food because she always had such great inventive stuff, I realized that this mentality was more brought on my bad homecooking (a generation of people that never had the knowledge passed down due to the chaos of war and its aftermath) and eating in diners than anything else. My Grandma’s family owned and ran a grocery store and ran a catering business through the Great Depression and 2 world wars and the way that she designed meals is completely contrary to my parents because of it. Produce was always spoiling if it didn’t sell, so waste-not-want-not, she always had to create meals based on stuff that was on the edge of spoiling. And there *are* vegetables that you can grow in the winter (you don’t need to now, but you could). Yeah, lots of banana bread, but lots of preserves, crazy salads, veggie casseroles, stir fries, etc. too. You’d be surprised how great a simple dessert of wild blueberry preserves with a tablespoon of homemade marshmallow fluff can be. I’m not trying to tell you how/when/what to eat, I guess I’m just trying to encourage you that you don’t need to make your body suffer to be healthy. Martina especially needs to be as healthy (and I don’t mean weight-wise) as she can comfortably be to take any necessary stress off her body/joints but it’s more stressful on your body if you are trying to eat yucky “health” food, cooking complicated meals, and following weird timed foods than just eating what you want, regardless of the “calorie count” (which is mostly BS anyways). Stress is just as unhealthy as bad eating habits. All I’m saying is, the definition of healthy eating is maximum nutrition, which mean maximum absorption of the nutrients that your body needs to function well. Canada’s food guide is designed to make sure that you sample enough of each category with the different types of vitamins/minerals/proteins/etc. that you need but it doesn’t tell you how to make it delicious or easy, and that’s where it falls down. In my opinion, vegan cooking produces quicker health results mainly because it forces you to eat more fruits and vegetables. Think about it, if you cooked a delicious vegan meal, nothing is stopping you from putting a delicious pork chop beside it on the plate, the Vegan Police will never know ;). Okay, I’m getting a little tired of typing as well and I’m not sure I got to my point either. Eat delicious food, just eat smaller portions and make sure you eat lots of produce. I think that going to Rome is going to blow your mind with this kind of cooking. #1 most popular and famous Italian dish is a Caprese Salad, you should try it in Italy to truly understand. Italian food in Italy is completely different than it is in North America and way better and definitely healthier. I hope that you take a chance and don’t fast there, you won’t need to. It may take a couple of days for your bodies to adjust to what “full” is (be a little cautious at first), but they definitely will after a week. Well, I was in the middle of your weekly podcast when I remembered to check if you responded so I’d better get back to it. It’s a great podcast, I hope that you feel some relief/freedom from laying some of it all out there and as a listener/fan(?)/Nasty/friend I find it extra refreshing and nice to hear you just talk about your feelz so openly. Don’t feel the need to censor yourselves, be free, we are with you <3

          3 weeks ago