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WTF – Glowing Pig Pen Wristband

April 5, 2014


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Oh, Martina.

You know, I wrote this first sentence and thought “what if I just left the blog post at that? One sentence. Oh, Martina. Publish.” That’d be enough, I think. If you’ve been watching enough of our WTFs, you probably think the same thing some of the time. Oh, Martina.

But I know there are some people that come to the blog that are new, and leaving the post with only one sentence wouldn’t be that useful to newcomers, who might take this as their last time coming to the site. New blog readers! Hey! Come to this site for the comments! The commenters here are totally awesome, and write a lot more cool stuff than I do! Also, the blog posts offer more insights into our videos and anecdotes that we didn’t get across in our video.

I’m…not too sure how much more insight you can get here, though. This just seems like three unrelated technologies wrapped into one thing. It’s a pen. Got it. Why does the pen need to glow in the dark? Who the hell is writing in the dark? It bends and wraps around your wrist: who the hell needs to keep a pen wrapped around their wrist? I’m guessing the target demographic for this is kids who like shiny things regardless of what they are…and Martina.

Oh Simon.

You clearly have no understanding of the importance of purchasing a thing that has both fashion and pen technology all balled up into one obnoxiously green glowing pig. Yes, I admit I was disappointed that the WHOLE bracelet didn’t glow. I was under the impression that it wasn’t the beads inside that would glow, but rather the pig himself. A glowing pig bracelet? That would make you the hit of any party with your super chill accessory. You’d be the person at the club who one upped everyone’s glowstick bracelets with a glowstick pig. The person who brought joy to Christmas by giving out glowing pig pens. The best mom or dad who packed pig bracelets into the loot bags at a kids party. But the pig head did not glow. Reducing this pig pen bracelet to just that, a pig pen bracelet. Alas, my disappointment in the fact that the pig did not glow was well concealed in this video. I think I put on a strong face and acted all cool. But deep down inside, my glowing pig heart was breaking. BUT I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY SEARCH FOR GLOWING ITMES WHILE I SHOULD BE GROCERY SHOPPING FOR MILK! DO YOU HEAR ME!!??? NEVARRRR!!! *Martina runs away evilly laughing to herself while petting Meemers*



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