How to Cut the Perfect Watermelon
Ok, so this is a random video we’re putting up on our Open the Happy Channel, because this totally blows our freaking minds. Soo Zee, as you know, works with us here at Eatyourkimchi, and she does a lot of awesome things around the studio. One of the best things she does, though, is cut a goddamned watermelon. It blows our mind how good she is at cutting watermelon. Yes, this sounds like a simple thing to be amazed about, but we’re very easily amused people, so when we saw how she would cut the watermelon we would stop all of our work and talk about its awesomeness for the next half hour.
Leigh, though, told us that supposedly this is the standard way to cut watermelon in Asia, and that all of her Asian friends cut watermelon this way. Asian people of Eatyourkimchi: is this true? And, if so, why have you kept this secret from us Westerners for so long? Our methods of cutting watermelon are so barbaric.
1 TAKE BIG KNIFE
2 CUT BIG WATERMELON PIECE FROM RED TO RIND
3 EAT PIECE THAT IS TOO BIG FOR MOUTH, MAKING MESSES EVERYWHERE LIKE BARBARIAN
4 WIPE WATERMELON FACE WITH BACK OF HAND, LIKE BARBARIAN
Did you just keep the secret from us to be amused, oh ye Watermelon Magicians?
Well no longer! Soo Zee has agreed to share her secret voodoo with us, and we are sharing it with the rest of the world, and making it a better place for all of mankind.
And, in a related note, here’s our old Open the Happy video on Watermelon Holders in Korea, brought to you by the Watermelon Deities of this fine country. What’s next: watermelon de-seeders?