136 COMMENTS

Today we’re supposed to talk about how people flirt in Korea but obviously, this is another one of those TL;DRs that we can’t really talk about from experience, akin to our episode about Dating in Korea. Seeing as we’re married, we haven’t dated Korean people, and we haven’t flirted with them, either, nor have they flirted with us…though I bet they’re tempted to, seeing as we’re so sexy. ANG! ANG! *Martina makes a derp face by mistake* I mean… *ANG*

We’ve been asking a whole bunch of our friends on their input for this TL;DR. We’ve asked Korean guys dating Korean girls, Korean guys dating foreign girls, and Korean girls dating Korean guys. We’re taking their words on it, and they’re good, honest people, so we see no reason for them to have lied to us. *narrows eyes and points at the screen* Oh yeah, we’re looking at you guys. We know where you live if you DID lie to us…in fact, we’re right outside your apartment RIGHT NOW!!!! DAH DAH DAH!!!!

Roll Down Your Sexy Window

AYY GIRL! CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?

Anyhow, the main thing that we learned from them is that flirting is quite different here in Korea. You don’t get cheesy pick up lines, which is a good thing, but you also don’t often get strangers coming up to you and trying to chat with you and get to know you. You don’t make eyes at each other across the room or wink or do whatever it is you single people do nowadays. What do you single people do to flirt with people, anyways, apart from Rolling Down Your Sexy Window and then asking a girl if you can buy her a drink, all the while speaking in your best Dave Chappelle voice? Well, perhaps we’re out of touch. All I know is the concept of schmoozing and chatting is a concept that Korean people finding extremely terrifying. Parties are non-existent in Korea, so how can a high school student get used to the awkwardness of standing beside someone you don’t know and making small talk? If you don’t experience that at a young age, it can be harder to have awkward conversations as you get older. By now, both Simon and I are pros at holding chit chatty conversations with people at parties with zero awkwardness but when we invite our Korean friends (that speak perfect English) to our parties, they often huddle around each other and them look extremely uncomfortable. In fact, they’ve told me it’s an uncomfortable situation because they have no idea what to say. So how can you flirt with someone if you don’t know the basics of how to start an awkward stranger conversation?

There are a couple of reasons why this doesn’t happen in Korea, and one of those is actually due to the nature of Korean nightlife. In Canada, going to a bar meant standing around with a drink chatting with friends and making moon eyes at other people you found hot. Maybe you’d sit in a booth, but that would be if you got there really early, and you probably only use it to pile up coats and purses. If you’re at a fancy smancy bar, you can easily pick out the group of single girls/guys looking to pick up. They’re all dressed to the nines and laughing loudly and happily for everyone to see. It’s like a big neon sign, “hey, we’re single and having fun, buy us a drink, winkwink” You don’t really get that in Korea. Bars are single booth events that you go to with your pre-set group of friends/date with no one standing around (unless you go to a foreign bar…aka, just like home). How can you learn to pick up someone if you’re all piled up in an isolated booth?

And another thing working against the flirting concept is that people in Korea often go out in “couple” groups, rather than a bunch of single girls going out for fun. Even if you’re not dating someone, your friend will set you up on a blind date with a friend they know. It’s RARE that we see 2 couples with their 3 female friends all together, or 3 guys and 2 girls. In fact, group blind dates are a very popular thing to do, and we’ve often heard of 3 girls meeting 3 guys that are friends of their friends on a blind date.

Now if you go to a more clubby area with dancing and drinking, you’ll get more of a pick up atmosphere (although we heard Korean guys are quite un-smooth when it comes to dancing with a girl…) with clearly single groups of guys and girls looking to pick up. But due to the hustle bustle (Korean clubs are fire hazard packed), drinking, sexy haiiiii dancing, the pick up can often be quite direct, “Can I buy you a drink? You’re beautiful, I have a car and I’d love to take you out, can I get your number?” Now while we feel like this drunken attempt to pick someone up is similar in North America, the text messaging concept that follows it is totally foreign to us, but we talk about this in our video so we don’t want to reiterate it here.

Sex Panther

Sex Panther: Illegal in Nine Countries!

So that’s all you need to know to successfully flirt in Korea! Next time you break through Xiah Junsu’s security guards, you’ll know exactly how to flirt with him. Yoohoo! I have some bananas to rub, for yoo-hoo! Ha! No. Anyways, if there’s anything that we’ve missed, please let us know, and please, tell us your awkward and embarrassing pick up stories in Korea! HURRAHH! We were hoping there would be something interesting that we can talk about, like a special flirt move, like a Korean version of the wink and the gun, or a “HOWYOUDOIN” or something, but nobody told us anything like that. Maybe because it’s top secret, or just too powerful to talk about, like Ron Burgundy’s Sex Panther? Guise? We promise we won’t laugh! Any insights here would be greatly appreciated, for both us and for other people reading this :D

ToFebruary
  1. i live in Minnesota.. of course the US and i’m actually talking to a korean guy.. as friends for now but i asked him if it was hard to get girls. of course i got the silent treatment at first but then he said that it wasn’t hard.. but i think he just said that to sound cool. But he is older than me by like 8 years and he doesnt like me to call him ajusshi…

    but this is interesting and i would totally want to ask more people about this too…

  2. Is it seen as odd then for the girl to woo the guy? To take care of him, etc.

  3. i liked this Korean Girl we went to hongdae for lunch and drinks, i liked her a lot so after getting her phone number i texted her 3 days later folowing the 3 day rule, yeap she answer once and then she never texted back, so this video is 100% true.

  4. nocussing

    aspartame doesn’t cause cancer! it’s a dang rumor!

  5. Good advice as I’m moving there soon. Going through all your videos in reverse sorta, but its all good. Also, does Simon look like Moriarty from Sherlock to anyone else? Thats a good thing, btw, hes an badass of epic proportions.

  6. Ok ppl, simon and martina. I need an advice i like a korean guy (We both live in north carolina) and i dont see him often. He moved frim korea like 3 years ago so his english its mmm good but sometime its hard for him to understand me . Well i know he is shy we havent hang out or anything and i think he already knows that i like him because when he see me he kunda smile and make such an adorable face to me. That makes me melt lol….and i bought him dinner,twice, so i what to tell him that i like him but idk if i should tell him or just wait, and i dont want to make oppa feel akward around me you know , since i dont know alit of korean. I pick i song for him and im gonna make him listen to it. Anyway give me an advice so i can have the courage To go and confess to him .

  7. Oh god. If the taking care of people thing is true, if I ever go to Korea then it’ll seem like I’m flirting with EVERYONE. Because I’m very protective and caring, even about people I don’t even know.

  8. Angie Lee

    For me i think i have no chance to have flirt with korean than, because all korean girls are so so soooo pretty and slim… and may i know , wat they think about girl who are older then them? Sigh!!!

  9. I’m new here but it seems to be from living with Korean people on a day to day basis is that most Korean girls seem to enjoy flirty talkative boys that are rich, inconsiderate and or does karaoke often rather than thoughtful, smart and well mannered guys who are often silent haha, anyways this is just my opinion based on my experience

  10. Zergham Tareen

    Well  my experience with Korean girls is from dating them in Toronto, but this is my own experience and each persons experiences could differ. So first of all you got your Korean girls that go to soju bars/restaurants or night clubs with only their girlfriends and not their opa’s, stay away from them if they come with even one guy he will turn into super cockblocker and will make sure you don’t get any from any of his girlfriends. At a night club If you politely buy her a drink she will be very open to getting to know you and very quickly be open for a good make out session or even much more  hehehe, but you have to be the one picking up the tab. If you are at a soju bar/restaurant (Christie or North york in Toronto) and see a group of Korean girls sitting at a table you can politely go over and ask them to come join you and your friend for some soju, and if they are into you they will come over or if not they will politely decline and won’t think you are a loser, but will appreciate the offer. If they do come to your table you can start playing drinking games and very naughty and interesting things can happen. 

    You then have your church girl STAY AWAY IF YOU LIKE SEX!! she is most likely saving herself for marriage Korean church girls are very hardcore with their religion and will not cave in, but if you want to find a Korean girl to marry later on in the future and you aren’t afraid of blue balls and wanting to take cold showers 10 times a day then go ahead. 

    Most Korean girls expect you to pay for everything! So make sure you have a full time job and a decent savings because you are expected to get her gifts on every single freakin anniversary! Like for example *deap breath* your 1 month 2 month 3 month every month to the day you started dating, birthdays, christmas, easter, valentines day, first kiss, first holding hands, first time riding bikes on a small country road, first time watching the korean soccer team in the world cup, kwansa, ramadan, first big trip together, first time you told her you loved her anniversary! *exhale* So in other words be prepared! lol! 

  11. Zergham Tareen

    oops delete please

  12. Park Yoochun was in Virginia for a while? xD

  13. If I know someone really well I flirt naturally whether it’s a boy or girl and I wont even realize I’m doing it X3 I bet that would be pretty awkward and I’m not much of a partier so i guess when I go to Korea I have a very slim chance of meeting someone DX

  14. OMG I AM TOTALLY FROM VIRGINIA AND I JUST ABOUT DIED WATCHING THIS….

  15. Jiro Jiro

    Omg this video is epic it explains why the guy I’m into now does what he does.

  16. this is my first time on this site…i laughed my ass off

  17. “they often huddle around each other and them look extremely uncomfortable.”

    just wondering but did you mean then?

  18. I completely zoned out after 5:08 when you mentioned cancer in a humorous fashion. I was already iffy about watching the video, since it was upload the same day my brother passed away(from cancer-last month), but that right there just killed what little bit a sanity I had left…

  19. Hahaha!! At first i was like why Simon didn’t roll down his sexy window. I was disappointed. But then i was like kya!!!! Hahahaha!!! XD

  20. Teagan Jackel

    Hi! I’m an artist in Canada and was thinking i’d really love those sleeves, I always touch up my pncil drawings and get just below my wrist and just above my elbow covered in pencil because its too hard to keep it lifted for hours… That would be cool… umm smuggling in… gameboy!

  21. Eva Karagkouni

    Hey guys! Here’s my input on the matter, i’ll try not to make it too long.. For your info I’m a Greek girl that lives in Seoul, and i’d considare myself quite the average girl in my country.. Anyways, there are 3 things i need to point out, in my opinion!
    1) There is a HUGE difference between what goes on in the clubs to what goes on anyplace else! Koreans have the tendency of going wild only in the clubs, something which can easily confuse any person that comes from a culture where club and non club flirting behaviour isn’t that controversial! People that will approach you in clubs, might never do that anyplace else and if you ever meet them again, they might be veeery different to your first impression.
    2)I can’t believe you didn’t mention bupi bupi (dunno how to spell that in korean, oops)! This basically is what maaaany guys do in clubs, they start dancing with you, not face to face, but behind your back and if they get the chance they start putting their arms around you.. It’s so common and I was so surprised that that was happening so much!! What girls do, is that they turn to see the guy and if they like him, they continue dancing, otherwise it is required, i’d say, to push them away in a quite obvious way hehe! Plus my korean girlfriends explained that if you bupi bupi dance with a guy for too long, he will easily consider you a very easy bate for the rest of the night, so keep that in mind.. dancing with a guy for too long in Korea, doesn’t mean you are just dancing with him, alright?
    3) I’ll be 100% honest here and tell you that never ever in my life I had so many offers from guys as I did in clubs here… If you are a foreign girl accompanied by other korean or foreign girls in a club, the chances are that after a few minutes someone will approach you to dance with you. Of course this is extremely controversial too: at first you might get excited to have so many offers, but soon you end up feeling awkward thinking that they only approach you because you’re not asian, thus maybe easy pray. I don’t wanna suggest that every korean guy in a club thinks so, but the majority does. If you’re ok with that and are not really looking for a serious relationship, well then, there you go. Otherwise, it’s way better to meet them through common friends (even if you meet them out in a club again), just like you guys mentioned!
    Sorry if I bored you or if i was too explicit :P I also have to say I agree with all the other points you mentioned in the video!!
    (There’s so much more to tell, but I don’t know if anyone’s interested!)
    Take careeeeee

  22. I have a question. Is it common to tease each other/make fun of each other/be mean while flirting in Korea? Because I know in North America, when you tease someone usually it’s playfully and it adds hints of romantic interest. 

  23. Lol Im suprised that simon’s “Roll Down Your Sexy Window” lingo line isnt being used :( it should be i think it’d be a great pick up line and or ice breaker imho.

  24. Anna Shin

    If you were to move back to North America, would you miss Korea?

    Why did you choose to move to Korea?

  25. simon’s shirt was awesome

  26. Mpho Molapo

    PS. My english may not always be grade A but that doesn’t matter. Cause I’m foreign (•‿•)  :]

  27. Mpho Molapo

    If you know yaoi. You should know unicorns and rainbows. :D Anyway, You guy are hilarious thanx for being existed. And Thanx for being married to each other, it’s a beautiful thing, I admire it. So I hope I’ll get married one day…. I just said something really unimportant didn’t I?  Ծ_Ծ

  28. U GUISE, YOU DO KNOW SOME1 VIRGINIAN.
    Micky Yoochunn.
    Hurhur. 

  29. Katherine Koba

    Wait, where in here DID you tell us how to flirt in Korea?  Is anyone commenting here better informed about how to pick up a Korean guy/chick, except that (derp derp surprise!) it’s a little different than at home?

    Okay, nightlife in Canada/the US and Korea is different, but that wasn’t the thesis you set out to support.

    C+

    • I think you can get an answer really from their video. Women usually are not forward in trying to obtain a guy. It’s more you get close to the dude you like or have your friends who know him set you guys up to meet. (It’s honestly this way throughout Asia. Forwardness in women is kind of odd and frightening to more conservative men.)

      Dudes do the “flirting” or in the case of Koreans (Asians), “Hey, my status is good. I got money.” or “Hey I think you’re cute. Wanna hang out?” Or getting close to them through your friends and taking care of them. It’s not really picking anyone and hooking up.

      (Do not be afraid to pick up dudes in Asia though. There are always ways to attract a guy without not being forward. Plus, there are always guys who like forward women.)

  30. Just a quick note – when Americans make fun of something related to Virginia…it’s almost always West Virginia.

  31. Anonymous

    I dunno simon you kinda scarred me for life xD jokes lol …..Man you and martina are like my new heros -Ahem of course TVXQ is always number one-…but with some exceptions xD

  32. AHAHAHAH i laughed about the virginian part because i live in virginia and my friends and i do that with each other sometimes when we’re joking around  xD

  33. Wow that’s interesting

  34. lol I am latina and some of those things have happend to me in the US and I have found it to be kind of creepy… like the surprised note on my locker or in my work area and what not… Or the surprised text message from someone I don’t know that somehow got my number.  I am completely straight forward so I guess none of this would work out for me if I go to korea and date… (;_:)

  35. Anonymous

    I don’t know if you guys have ever been to Japan, but i’m curious to know how do you think the korean and japanese people are different. I’m half japanese so i know a little how are the japanese and their personality but i’m not sure how different are the korean from them. Like when i watch J and K dramas, it’s kinda obvious to me they are not the same (not talking physically or in the language ofcourse) but in the personality. Even in their lifestyle, they have different way of thinking, but i can’t put my finger on what it is exactly.

  36. Anonymous

    really random question….ive watched a lot of korean shows and i notice that skinship is very common between men(holding hands,linking arms, etc.). is skinship also very common between females? & is skinship between opposite sexes frowned upon?

    • Anonymous

      they have a video about that somewhere, but ur kinda right.  over here, it’s completely acceptable for couples and boy-girl friends to b touchy and affectionate, but skinship between 2 ppl of the same sex is a big no-no most of the time.  take that and switch it around, that’s how it works there.  it’s considered a bit impolite for couples to b overly affectionate or kiss in public (tho i guess it does vary depending on which area ur in).  however, when it comes to same-sex friends?  kissing, hugging, holding hands, sitting on laps…perfectly acceptable!  hope this helped.

  37. So if women flirt they are considered loose women?

  38. I went over the video again and I realized something. I hate texting. I think my personal record is 10 SMSs in a month :(

  39. Classic Ron Burgundy’s Panter Cologne Referance :P my bf loves that movie and poster :)

  40. I know what you mean, It took months before i actually really noticed my bf in more then a co-worker to a friend to boyfriend material. what won me over about my man is his sense of humor and his eyebrows for some strange reason, while h, on the other hand; was won over by my booty lol classic man he is :) well ours is a more then physical attraction and we been together for almost 5 yrs.

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