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How to Flirt in Korea

October 6, 2011


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Today we’re supposed to talk about how people flirt in Korea but obviously, this is another one of those TL;DRs that we can’t really talk about from experience, akin to our episode about Dating in Korea. Seeing as we’re married, we haven’t dated Korean people, and we haven’t flirted with them, either, nor have they flirted with us…though I bet they’re tempted to, seeing as we’re so sexy. ANG! ANG! *Martina makes a derp face by mistake* I mean… *ANG*

We’ve been asking a whole bunch of our friends on their input for this TL;DR. We’ve asked Korean guys dating Korean girls, Korean guys dating foreign girls, and Korean girls dating Korean guys. We’re taking their words on it, and they’re good, honest people, so we see no reason for them to have lied to us. *narrows eyes and points at the screen* Oh yeah, we’re looking at you guys. We know where you live if you DID lie to us…in fact, we’re right outside your apartment RIGHT NOW!!!! DAH DAH DAH!!!!

Roll Down Your Sexy Window


Anyhow, the main thing that we learned from them is that flirting is quite different here in Korea. You don’t get cheesy pick up lines, which is a good thing, but you also don’t often get strangers coming up to you and trying to chat with you and get to know you. You don’t make eyes at each other across the room or wink or do whatever it is you single people do nowadays. What do you single people do to flirt with people, anyways, apart from Rolling Down Your Sexy Window and then asking a girl if you can buy her a drink, all the while speaking in your best Dave Chappelle voice? Well, perhaps we’re out of touch. All I know is the concept of schmoozing and chatting is a concept that Korean people finding extremely terrifying. Parties are non-existent in Korea, so how can a high school student get used to the awkwardness of standing beside someone you don’t know and making small talk? If you don’t experience that at a young age, it can be harder to have awkward conversations as you get older. By now, both Simon and I are pros at holding chit chatty conversations with people at parties with zero awkwardness but when we invite our Korean friends (that speak perfect English) to our parties, they often huddle around each other and them look extremely uncomfortable. In fact, they’ve told me it’s an uncomfortable situation because they have no idea what to say. So how can you flirt with someone if you don’t know the basics of how to start an awkward stranger conversation?

There are a couple of reasons why this doesn’t happen in Korea, and one of those is actually due to the nature of Korean nightlife. In Canada, going to a bar meant standing around with a drink chatting with friends and making moon eyes at other people you found hot. Maybe you’d sit in a booth, but that would be if you got there really early, and you probably only use it to pile up coats and purses. If you’re at a fancy smancy bar, you can easily pick out the group of single girls/guys looking to pick up. They’re all dressed to the nines and laughing loudly and happily for everyone to see. It’s like a big neon sign, “hey, we’re single and having fun, buy us a drink, winkwink” You don’t really get that in Korea. Bars are single booth events that you go to with your pre-set group of friends/date with no one standing around (unless you go to a foreign bar…aka, just like home). How can you learn to pick up someone if you’re all piled up in an isolated booth?

And another thing working against the flirting concept is that people in Korea often go out in “couple” groups, rather than a bunch of single girls going out for fun. Even if you’re not dating someone, your friend will set you up on a blind date with a friend they know. It’s RARE that we see 2 couples with their 3 female friends all together, or 3 guys and 2 girls. In fact, group blind dates are a very popular thing to do, and we’ve often heard of 3 girls meeting 3 guys that are friends of their friends on a blind date.

Now if you go to a more clubby area with dancing and drinking, you’ll get more of a pick up atmosphere (although we heard Korean guys are quite un-smooth when it comes to dancing with a girl…) with clearly single groups of guys and girls looking to pick up. But due to the hustle bustle (Korean clubs are fire hazard packed), drinking, sexy haiiiii dancing, the pick up can often be quite direct, “Can I buy you a drink? You’re beautiful, I have a car and I’d love to take you out, can I get your number?” Now while we feel like this drunken attempt to pick someone up is similar in North America, the text messaging concept that follows it is totally foreign to us, but we talk about this in our video so we don’t want to reiterate it here.

Sex Panther

Sex Panther: Illegal in Nine Countries!

So that’s all you need to know to successfully flirt in Korea! Next time you break through Xiah Junsu’s security guards, you’ll know exactly how to flirt with him. Yoohoo! I have some bananas to rub, for yoo-hoo! Ha! No. Anyways, if there’s anything that we’ve missed, please let us know, and please, tell us your awkward and embarrassing pick up stories in Korea! HURRAHH! We were hoping there would be something interesting that we can talk about, like a special flirt move, like a Korean version of the wink and the gun, or a “HOWYOUDOIN” or something, but nobody told us anything like that. Maybe because it’s top secret, or just too powerful to talk about, like Ron Burgundy’s Sex Panther? Guise? We promise we won’t laugh! Any insights here would be greatly appreciated, for both us and for other people reading this :D



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