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How We Stay Positive

April 3, 2014

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So, let’s start with a warning. This is going to be a very long post. It’s usually just one person writing a blog post at once, but this time, we have all four of us adding our thoughts, all in different sections. Health and Wellbeing are topics that we’re really interested in lately, so we’re really pouring ourselves into this post here today. Hopefully you don’t find it too boring.

Without further ado, here we go!

Martina’s Thoughts:

Martina Shocked

Music can start off your day with positive vibes or feed into a negative emotion. I made several music playlists that include only my favourite positive songs. Whether it be lyrically positive like “Happy” by Pharell or an upbeat song that makes me boogie like “Fantastic Baby” by Big Bang, I try to focus on music that won’t channel any negative vibes. Rock and heavy metal are my go-to music for when I feel upset or angry, and although I use lots of rock music to get upbeat and feel happy, some of my favourite bands have a negative association with certain times in my life. If I listen to that album when I’m having a bad day, I remember those negative feels and it can easily pull me down into a negativity spiral. Oh that sounded so hippy, like….yeah, right? But it’s true: once you’re put into a sour mood, it’s very easy to feed into it and grow it, yet it’s not easy to remind ourselves of all the good things in our lives.

I visualize being negative like having an angry pet bird on your shoulder. It grows very quickly and easily when you feed it. It just sits on your shoulder and whispers angry negative things in your ear until you’re having the worst day of your life. Woke up late and missed the bus? You angry bird is there to whisper in your ear and to remind you that this day is already going to suck. You catch the next bus, but get bumped on the bus by someone, and that bird is there to remind you how much humanity sucks, and to fortify your early anger of missing the bus. That angry little bird will continue to poison your mind; he’ll point out people judging you, remind you that you’re not good at things, direct blame at other people for things you could change yourself. Whatever it is, that bird is there to remind you of all that’s wrong with the world and your life.

So how can we put a muzzle on this grumpy little bird? I find that, once I realize that the day isn’t in itself bad, but that I’m just hearing the squawking, then popping on my pre-made playlist of positive music can really help quiet the bird’s noise. Good positive music is the start for me, even if the music annoys me at the time because I’m not currently in the mood to hear something positive.

The hard part is acknowledging that you’re in a bad mood. Yes, that sounds weird, but you really need to say to yourself, “holy crap! I think I’m being a massive grumpy bear.” When I realize I’m actually in a bad mood, I look back on some of the stuff that’s stressing me out and decide whether or not it’s actually justified anger. For example, being angry and enraged because you’re waiting in a slow line at the grocery store…that is not justified anger. You’re angry because you want to move faster but being angry isn’t going to change anything. It’s not anyone’s fault that they, too, want to purchase groceries. Even if the cashier is slow, it’s still not their fault you’re angry. Your anger is your own issue. You’re just making yourself upset without being able to change anything. And if you can’t change anything, then it’s not worth your energy. So, I take all the things that I’m feeling angry about and I divide them into three categories:

The Three Types of Anger

1. The Angry Bird (i.e.: a slow moving line up, people wearing clothing you don’t approve, getting a bad parking spot)

Things in The Angry Bird category are actually very personal things. You may not find waiting in line to be annoying, but for some people it can send them into a rage. I think of this category as just me taking out my bad mood on other people and on the environment around me. It’s not seriously justifiable anger, it’s just grumpy angry mutterings from that sour bird on my shoulder, reminding me how annoying my day is. I’m just looking for things to be angry about, and feeding into my already sour mood. By putting a muzzle on your personal Angry Bird, you can work on bettering yourself and lowering your stress level. Your need to acknowledging these short fuses and acknowledge that they are not the only reason you are upset. There is an underlying bigger reason, and by listening to your angry bird you are only feeling worse.

2. Annoyances (i.e.: a spilt drink on your crotch, loud talkers in the library, people talking in a movie theatre)

Outside of the things that you personally perceive as annoying, there are also poopy annoying things in life that are not your fault. Sometimes you can change it and sometimes you cannot. For example, you can report the loud talkers in the library and get them kicked out (hahah not that I’ve done that…yes I have). You could also move locations. You can also personally ask them to turn down their talking volume as well. You have options sometimes. Yet not everything is preventable or changeable. A person spilling something on you accidentally is not preventable. Yes, it is annoying, but you have to remind yourself that it wasn’t done maliciously. It sucks, but don’t let it be “just another reason this day is the worst.” I’ve come to the conclusion that many people are just unaware of the world around them so when they blast their music loudly or stop walking at the bottom of a flight of stairs to check their phone it’s NOT because they’re mean spirited jerks, it’s because they just aren’t being considerate of the world around them. I file these annoyances under “unaware humans” and try my hardest to either make a change, or to just move on. Oh and if you’re the person sitting in front of me in a movie theatre gabbing on your phone, you better believe I’m leaning in and telling you to hang up. I’m not paying money to let you ruin my movie.

3. Core Stress (i.e.: work related stress, money related stress, school related stress, health related stress, family related stress)

Core stress is the real reason you’re upset. And it can wreck major chaos on both your mind and body. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be upset because someone spilt a drink on you, or you can’t be upset because you waited 20 minutes to get a latte. I’m saying that in order to manage a reasonable level of stress that doesn’t lead to despair and a nervous breakdowns, you need to learn to let those other things go. You need to acknowledge what your core stress is so that you don’t go spiralling into despair when something else happens. Like waking up with a pimple. Or missing the bus. Or having a bad customer at your work. That turns into “SCREW THIS DAY, I HATE THE WORLD I’M GOING BACK TO BED!” *Disney princess worthy fling onto the bed and sobs* Yes, I have done that. I have done that recently. Truthfully, I have struggled with anxiety and depression for a long time. It’s only recently that I’ve been able to acknowledge that listening to the Angry Bird and using annoyances to add to my “worst day ever list” is not actually helping me feel any better. It’s just not productive to my health. It keeps me from sleeping, it makes me irritable, and it makes me sad. What we need to do is discover the real core of our stress, and focus on just dealing with that. For me, I’m personally dealing with health related stresses at the moment, while before I was dealing with work and school stresses.

I personally think that stress comes from a feeling of uneasiness that comes with not knowing the future. Will I pass this exam? Will I get that job? How will I pay off my loan? When will I meet someone? When will I stop feeling pain? When we’re stressed out about something it feels like our entire life is purely made up of stress. We view the world through the eyes of stress BUT, and this is a big but, you’re only experiencing a tiny piece of your life. You’re taking that tiny piece and wearing it like poop tinted glasses in which to view the world in its full poopy nature. But you know what? Middle school, high school, university, job hunting, careers…that’s not the whole of life. Those are just more little pieces from your life. Those are just locations, actions, and transactions we go through. Life is happening around and outside those things! I realized this in my 5th year of University while applying to get into Teacher’s College.

I put all my energy into filling out the massive amount of applications forms. It was important, yes, but I was so stressed out regarding if I would get into school or not I had nervous breakdowns on the way to work. I’d burst into tears over a canceled plan with friends. I’d be unable to get out of bed. I was stressed out all day and everyday…but it didn’t actually change anything. Did it make me work harder at a specific task? No. Was it just ruining my entire day? Yes. Once I sent out the forms, I literally could do nothing but wait and see if I was going to get into school. WHY WHY WHY did I waste energy walking around stressed out of my mind? I have to receive that rejection/acceptance paper in the mail first! Why didn’t I take that energy, plan for both scenarios (accepted vs not accepted) and just move on until I found out? But I didn’t.

happymartina

Looking back on it now, I saw the patterns I fell into. Listening to the Angry Bird, allowing small annoyances to turn into huge problems, but I realize now that once I take the time to breath deeply and categorize all my feels, I can see what must be changed in order to keep myself from feeling upset.

Essentially, there are things that are worth being stressed out about, like your immediate core stresses, and then there are things that you can choose to ignore. It’s really really hard to ignore them sometimes, but by doing that you can deal with core stress and have a good day at the same time.

Simon’s Thoughts

Shocked Simon

So, I don’t think I did justice to my perspective in this video. The basic idea of “think of two good things for every one bad thing you experience” and “never take things for granted” kinda gets lost when the examples I give are “my dog didn’t die!” and “my hips ain’t broken anymore!” Let me get into this idea a bit more, if I can.

In a very blunt, cold way, I can put it as this: the things that bother me in the here and now are insignificant in other contexts. I might read a crappy comment on Tumblr, and be upset, but then I can just, you know, close the computer. Walk away. Buy some flowers. Make a home cooked meal. Walk my dog who freaking loves going on walks and dances around in excitement when we’re about to go out. Go to the park and do balls, Soo Zee style. All of these things are better than dealing with or dwelling on negative experiences.

When we step away from the computer, we’ve got a bunch of friends, close friends, who aren’t really computer literate, and when we hang out with them and they’re like “what’s a tumblings?” and I think to myself of the vast world of experience out there, and how tiny this one is in the grand scheme of where my life has come from and where it’s going. Life exists outside of internet culture. Life exists outside of your classroom. Life exists outside of your job. There’s so much of it everywhere! It’s Cherry Blossom season now in Korea, and gotdamn it’s gorgeous.

Some might think that this isn’t a way to solve your problems. It’s more flight than fight. My response to this is that not every problem is worth the effort that goes into solving it. Not everything needs a resolution, and if the effort that goes into solving something is greater than the outcome, then fuck it. Move on to something different.

I think the method that I advocate most for getting over the blues is two fold. The first is to realize the insignificance of whatever event is bothering me, and secondly is to focus more attention and energy on appreciating what I DO have around me. I could be upset about dealing with our landlord, buuuut I have a soft kitty here. I could be upset that I’m not in the best shape right now, buuuut I have a wife that loves me. I could be upset that a project I had been planning fell through, but look at that sunset. Once you realize that all things are of equal significance, that the things that are happening to you aren’t as important as they seem at the moment, then the playing field is levelled. Good experiences and bad experiences have the same weight, so why not put my energies into experiencing the positives?

Why would I focus on the people that dislike me, when I could be paying attention to the people that do like me? Why pay attention to anger when I could pay attention to love? It’s hard when I occasionally fall into a rut, but I just do my best to realize the negative thought pattern, and then say “f*ck it” and to move onto something else I like instead. My life won’t crumble as a result. Things will go on.

Part of my experiences is to never take anything for granted. Anything can change in the blink of an eye. I could get extremely sick. A meteor could hit. Kim Jong Un could flip his shit. We could die in a taxi accident. There’s no guarantee that the experiences I’m having now will be experiences I’ll have in the future. There will be a time in the future when things will be different, where situations will suck more. Let me do my best to appreciate what I have now while I still have it.

For instance: You’re watching our videos. You have no duty to. Tomorrow you can say “goddamn: that last joke of theirs just pushed me to the limit” and you can stop watching. And then what? What if everyone stopped watching? Does that mean we’ll die? Not at all. It means we’ll have to do something else instead. I’ll enjoy doing this for as long as you let me, but if you change your mind I won’t be angry at you or myself for it, because I’ve done this to the best of my ability, and enjoyed as much of it as I could.

Some days I’m walking out in public with Martina. We get separated in a mall. I look for her and can’t see her. There’s no sight of her anywhere. At times like that I sometimes think to myself, did she really ever exist? The life I have with her is too amazing. It’d make sense if I was just dreaming this whole thing up. Now that the dream’s over, at least I can say it was fantastic, and I was fortunate enough to have great experiences with her. Then I see her again, and go back to appreciating as many moments with her as I’ll be given.

We had a pretty big scare lately which we didn’t talk about publicly in video, but I’ll talk about here because I feel like the blog section is a different audience than our YouTube viewers. It’s something that negatively affected us, and you might have seen that in our videos. Martina lost the hearing in her right ear last February, and after many hospital appointments and tests with ear specialists, the doctor concluded she probably had a brain tumour. When he suggested this diagnosis, the first thing I thought wasn’t “holy shit, she’s going to die” and started panicking. Instead, I thought “ok. So this is the situation. What’s our next course of action to make this better? What can I do to make things better for Martina?”

But first, Martina did an MRI to check if the diagnosis was accurate. We waited for a few days for the results. We just kept filming and putting up videos as best we could, talked to you guise online, and did what kept on making us happy, but Martina was feeling really down. After waiting a week, Martina’s scan came back…negative for tumours! We still don’t know why Martina’s hearing is gone. We think it probably has to do with her EDS, which she talked about before in her Draw My Life Videos. It’s possible that the EDS caused a dislocated bone in her inner ear. The point is, I didn’t get destroyed by sadness and panic when we waited for the results. They’re unknown, so there was nothing to think about. I focused on what we could do to be happy in the moment, and when the diagnosis came back with favourable results, I have a new thing to be happy about. It’s not gonna kill my wife! Woohoo!

Happysimon

I think I’m getting distracted here with examples. Basic premise in a nutshell: what I have is an infinite possibility of experiences, both positive and negative. All of them get the amount of attention I choose to give them. What I don’t have is an infinite amount of time. I’m going to spend the rest of my life appreciating my positive experiences, because the world doesn’t owe me anything, and the happiness in my life can be taken away from me at any moment. Sure, this sounds like a rather depressing standpoint, for some people, but for me I feel liberated, and I feel like I can enjoy things, like walking my dog, looking at my wife, hanging with friends, drinking a nice cocktail, sitting in a comfortable couch, not feeling ill, all of these things I can appreciate this more than many other people I know, who think that all of these things are just normal. Rather than thinking of the world as awesome by default, and feeling upset when things don’t go my way, I think of the world as not awesome by default, and feel blessed when things do go my way.

Leigh’s Thoughts

Intern Leigh here, aka: stage 2 apprentice wizard of time management and general ass-kickery. I’ve never actually done just school; every time I’ve been a full time student I’ve also been a full time something else. How do I manage to win scholarships, land amazing internships, and still find the time to watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch seasons 1, 2, and 3 over Easter weekend? I’m a time-management ninja. That’s right, I’m a ninja and a wizard. And I’ll share my ninja-wizard secrets.

Secret #1: I have a life outside of school
I take a Romantic Scholar approach to school. I don’t believe anything – a project deadline, a term paper, a film critique – should get in the way of Friday night barbecues. Or Saturday morning cartoons. Or Sunday afternoon brunches. You catch my drift? Rather than go for “well-rounded,” I focus on kicking tail at one specific area academically. That leaves more time for playing-I mean working at the studio, dragging Soo Zee to fancy whiskey bars, and shopping for new sundresses.

Secret #2: I timebox
I learned this trick from Neil Fiore. I never set deadlines to finish things. I set deadlines to start. When I get too intense about being the best video editor in the world, I fall into the pit of despair, so I make it a point to worry more about starting than finishing. Having no pressure to finish, no pressure to be perfect, no pressure to get it all done in one sitting does wonders for my stress level. Even just a solid, uninterrupted 15 minutes of work can be enough to remember that your value as a human being is NOT equal to your grades, or your art’s reception, or your personal best. (bolding requested by Martina)

Secret #3: I ignore emails
One of the most important things I learned from Merlin Mann’s awesome “Inbox Zero” email approach is that truly urgent matters do not come via email. If you need an answer right this flipping second, you’ll call me. So I ignore lots of emails. Not forever, but certainly not until I’m done with whatever it is I’m doing right now. I will check my email when I durn well feel like it, thankyouverymuch. Instead of constant push alerts that remind me I have a billion things left to do, I have blissful stretches of distraction-free time to focus on work slash research new bubble tea places and DIY steadycam rigs…I mean…pssh…not that I…do…that…RUN AWAY!!

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Ok, so this was a ridiculously long post. I had no idea how to break it up into something more manageable. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read our thoughts on the matter. I hope you weren’t too bored with the blog post and with the topic. If you liked it, hooray! If you liked it and haven’t subscribed yet, you’re almost there! Click on the button below to get the happy juices flowing!

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How We Stay Positive

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  1. Ahh Simon! I love your perspective on things. It’s a very Buddhist way of looking at the world. Also love your jokes and the happy vibe you always seem to have. Always look forward to watching your guys’s videos!

    10 months ago
  2. You guise: the ideas and feeling and experiences you share are so helpful and encouraging. Great video – Amazing blog post!

    2 years ago
  3. Bel

    Thank you for sharing your insights about all of this. It’s helpful and makes me rethink many stuff that’s going in my life,… you are all awesome!!!!!! -(๑☆‿ ☆#)ᕗ

    2 years ago
  4. Thank you for this post. It has made me feel better on a poopy day. Also, the hearing loss thing struck me as I remember seeing something about this before. EDS can cause hearing loss however, it seems that hearing aids generally help most people with this issue. and they aren’t old school giant things anymore. you might even be able to get a hello kitty one! Keep your chin up!

    3 years ago
  5. This post was absolutely uplifting. Was on my usual downward spiral till i saw this video and decided to properly read the blogpost. I’m so glad martina’s fine! I absolutely LOVE your videos. been binge watching your videos starting from those you posted way back in the day (i.e. 5 years ago). muahaha im obsessive like that. THANKS SO MUCH FOR PUTTING ALL THESE CONTENT UP! it really really helps! Imma try Simon’s strategy, 2 positive thoughts for 1 negative thought. :) THANKS SO MUCH GUYS! oooooo you so nasty~

    3 years ago
  6. Where do I change my profile picture?

    3 years ago
  7. Just a simple smile can brighten my day, so when I’m in a bad mood, I smile. That way, other people will smile, and that will make me happy. :)

    3 years ago
  8. I… I’m… I can’t believe I’m not crying right now, but inside I’m writhing with tears… Bless you guys, really, bless you.

    3 years ago
  9. This is my favourite post. I’m a pretty dedicated student, so I often have a hard time realizing that there is any sort of life outside of school, which really gets me down. Thank you for giving me new tips and tricks to stay positive!
    And I’m so glad Martina’s condition isn’t serious. All of our hearts would break for her.

    3 years ago
  10. Thank you very much for this video! As you are normally funny and happy and in a good mood in your videos, it’s easy to forget the fact that you have to struggle with stress, depression, etc. like everyone else. So, I really hope that those people who write bad things about you will stop their crap. If you don’t like something/someone you should simply stay away from it/them instead of badmouthing!
    One of my tactics is music, too. I like to listen to music while I’m getting ready – a bit of singing, humming or dancing and swoosh you’re in a good mood. :) I also have a little treasure box where I put things inside which remind me of the fact that I’m loved and appreciated for being myself, e.g. a sweet birthday letter of my sis or an endearing message from a friend. And before I fall asleep, I try to recall everything that happened to me during the day and be thankful for all the positive things.
    Not to forget your videos which have often made my day! :D

    3 years ago
  11. Bookmarking this for all the positivity! Will definitely need to refer back to this when I’m feeling too much pressure.

    3 years ago
  12. I froze when I read about Martina’s hearing loss, and was relieved to read it’s not a brain tumor. See, that cheered me up, because she got a terrible diagnosis which happily turned out to be inaccurate.

    When someone is unpleasant to me, either online or in real life, I just think ‘this person doesn’t know you personally and probably doesn’t care to either , so I’ll just focus on the people who do know and like me . ‘ This helped me ignore my bullies in high school and it’s still very useful. If someone doesn’t care to get to know you personally, they also cannot truly hurt you with their words because they have no details about you that they can attack you on. Furthermore, I am convinced that every experience helps you grow as a person and I cannot be more grateful for that.

    Like Simon, I also try to think of two positive things for each negative thing.

    Thanks for sharing this with us ! The four of you are role models to me. ~ <3

    3 years ago
  13. I’m a bit late reading the blog post, but I’m really glad I finally did. Thank you for taking the time to write all of this, I really needed it right now. You guys are really an inspiration to me. :)

    3 years ago
  14. I have a playlist of my favorite songs to listen to when I realize I’m starting to to get grumpy (also when I’m happy too because these songs are awesome) :) Also I currently work at Disney World so if I’m feeling stressed or upset I just head over to the parks and get some cuddles from my favorite characters ^.^ I’m going to start applying Simon’s 2:1 rule though. I get not so great guests some times and they kind of throw off my day so I’m going to start thinking of all the super amazing guests I get to see when ever I get an unpleasant one!

    3 years ago
  15. I’ve done something kind of like that before too- if I have to have a difficult conversation, I’ve put something in my field of view that is beautiful to me (don’t hate me but I’ve used an ikea catalogue for this purpose before) or a beautiful painting or a tree in a window. If I can still talk to the person and make eye contact, but also look at the pretty thing it helps me to not feel overwhelmed by the intense discussion.

    3 years ago
  16. I really found the blogpost both well written and very helpful. I’m gonna keep this page tab open in my browser so when I’m feeling depressed and down I’ll be reminded of what to do. thanks :) oh and I was really shocked to read about Martina’s ear problem, but I’m really glad it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I hope you get better soon though. much love

    3 years ago
  17. EYK Crew, Your videos are some of the most fun to watch videos I’ve ever come across. I LOVE them! And I love you guise for what you do! I was unemployed for almost 2 years (JUST started a new job 3/31! Yay!!!!) and during that time, I found that watching uplifting, positive, happy people’s videos on YouTube realllllly helped keep my own spirits up. When I found your vids a few months ago, I became addicted and couldn’t stop watching. Honestly, I couldn’t go a day without watching them – and there are so many, I still haven’t watched them all. Your happiness and positivity really comes through and I know you’re 100% genuine, real people and I love that! That’s what keeps me coming back to your videos. Anyway, if I ever need some cheering up, I know I can watch some of your videos and they will make me smile and laugh! :) Thank you all for your dedication and hard work and don’t ever stop! You’ve been an inspiration to me, and I know you will continue to be! XOXOXOX (that’s a bunch of hugs and kisses to you!!!) :D

    3 years ago
  18. I love you guys! I seriously needed some of this. Lately I’ve been getting bent out of shape over things that don’t even matter and after reading and watching your video I feel a lot better. You both have always been big inspirations to me as people because despite everything that’s difficult for you guys you always seem so happy and positive and I love that!

    3 years ago
  19. Cis

    Hey Simon and Martina,
    I really hope you read this and figured I might best post it here, instead of in the live chat of yesterday.
    You said that the Meems meows if he wants you to lift him up.
    When I had a scottish fold, he started doing that aswell. This can however be a symptom of Hip Dysplasia(where the ‘cup’ of the is to small for the ‘head of the hip joint, very common in scottish folds) or even heart disease. My own kitty died very suddenly, after a heart attack(he had a diagnosed heart disease, HCM, also very common for scottish folds, but it was said that he didn’t suffer consequences yet). It was terrible to see, as I wasn’t able to do anything. I really wouldn’t want that to happen too you guise, so please let him get checked, just in case!

    3 years ago
  20. That was just the pick-me-up I needed^^ Thanks Guys :)

    3 years ago
  21. Aaah, Martina, I get what you mean by the Angry Bird. My psychologist calls it the attention-sucking dementor. I call it the voices in my head.

    ………do I really want to talk about my depression now. Nah. Not really.

    I will say though; God plays a central role in keeping me positive. Helping me see the bigger picture; giving me security about the future, and knowing Someone’s always holding my hand.

    3 years ago
  22. *Hugs* you just described the feeling perfectly – it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one. Your method is a really good one and I think I might use it in the future, so thanks!

    I also have another method that I’ve been using recently. I’m the type of person that’s really reluctant to open up to people and REALLY tell them what I’m feeling – if I do talk to someone, I usually brush it off and smooth it over, as if it’s nothing serious. So I’ve found that one thing really helps me: writing letters. It’s really nerdy, but it feels really good. If someone had done something to upset me but I can’t really bring it up with them, I’ll write a ‘letter’ addressed to them describing in full detail how I’m feeling. If I’m having a really bad episode and want to speak to someone specific about it, but can’t quite bring myself to call them up and really tell them everything, I’ll write a letter describing in full detail how and why I’m feeling really bad and useless and so forth. Of course, the ‘letter’ is never delivered – it’s kind of like writing a diary, except that it’s actually addressed to someone, as opposed to an object (i.e. ‘Dear Diary’). Plus, funnily enough, it gives me this extra satisfaction of having this little secret letter that no one will ever find, and yet it’s addressed to them. Am I making sense? xD

    3 years ago
  23. Simon, your new hair makes you look like an adult…. ;p

    also, I love you. your speech about appreciating the good things was really heart-warming. <3

    and wow about Martina's hearing loss story! that's harsh! it's amazing that you were able to keep it together like that! kudos to you!

    seriously though, i think i'm gonna bookmark this post. I'm someone who gets bummed out pretty easily, and i had a pretty bad breakup about 3 months ago which i'm still not over, and it caused me to gain a lot of weight, which in turn added to the depression, soooo…. i'm pretty much depressed all the time… (sorry to be pouring out my problems. lol) on top of that, i'm usually someone who turns to food to make me happy, but that's not really good when you're trying to lose weight, is it? so anyways, it's good for me to see all your different suggestions. thank you.

    3 years ago
  24. For me, I think it’s helpful to set goals that aren’t things I have to do for work or school but for me. Something like, “I want to save money for a trip,” because it’s do-able and you have a reason for those long hours you put into work. It makes you feel better at the time and it also lets you accomplish something later (and reap the reward as well!).

    3 years ago
  25. I just have to say thank you guys so much for this post. It’s like right on time for me since I’ve been very verwhelmed and stressed out. Thanks for all of the stories and tips. And Leigh, your cheeks are adorable!!!

    3 years ago
  26. I am seriously not just brown-nosing when I say this: Watching your videos is my happy drug. I might have found out I did not passed an interview, or having a really hard time with a work assignment, then after pouting a bit, I remember I haven’t watched your video or just rematch an old fav and you guys seriously make me smile again (if not laugh out loud). The joy and silliness in your videos is absolutely contagious and so yeah THANK YOU.
    Also, Leigh, loved your part about not aiming for when to finish but when to start. I have only ever drawn the scary deadlines in my planner and then the procrastination kicks in and I get more and more reluctant to start until I reach tipping point with an hour left to finish several hours work. I shall now try applying this rule to my life! It is genius I say! Thanks!

    3 years ago
    • Also – Leigh, your hair looked fantastic in this video. Short haired women POWA!

      3 years ago
  27. Just tried Martina’s trick of color-coding everything in my planner (no doodles because I’m not artistic) and whoa, it’s amazing how much more manageable and organized everything suddenly looks. And I love Simon’s “two positive thoughts for every one negative thought” advice. Thank you!

    3 years ago
  28. Can’t help it. I totally cried.

    3 years ago
    • ok, got myself together now. I’m still sorry about Martina’s hearing loss- that is frustrating! But I’m glad its not a tumor.
      I think you guise shared some wise points. Personally, I’ve lowered my expectations of myself and other a lot in the last couple of years. I’m more happy because of it. I am more thankful for what is real and genuine in myself and others now. I’m more aware of what is really important to me. I was kind of a raging perfectionist before and of course, the thing I would dwell on was the thing I didn’t do perfectly, so it took a while to change thought habits, but it has really made a difference.
      Funny: one of my kids went through this really hard time and I came across a little curriculum for kids called “Angry Birds Anger Management”. Each bird from Angry Birds has its own struggle or solution to help kids work through their anger issues. Its somewhere online.
      I’m like Martina and really respond to color and visuals. For a while there I was putting a sticker on my calendar every time I worked out, and then I could see at a glance if I was hitting enough workouts and look back at the end of the month and feel great about my efforts. Above kid started kyping all my stickers though.
      Anyway, thank-you for sharing some very useful ideas and thank-you for being you.

      3 years ago
  29. wow, It’s great that you guys can stay so positive even though things get in the way. You are such an inspiration and people can really learn a lot from you guys. I really wish I could think like you, but sadly, I’m a true pessimist and I’ve always been one. Things happened when I was younger and I just stopped believing in positive things. If something is going to happen I start to worry about everything that could go wrong….actually, I worry about everything. I’ve actually gone to the hospital because the stress made me so sick. I’ve been trying to do something about it but I would probably need professional help (which I will never get because it’s not that important to them). You really help me with your videos and blog posts and I’m so happy that I found you guys. Thank you for being here <3

    3 years ago
  30. Btw I also had a bad day today, so thank you so much Simon and Martina! Actually just watching your videos is one of the best ways to stay positive!:):):):):):)

    3 years ago
  31. When I feel stressed, depressed or sad (mostly because of schoolwork), I listen to music I used to listen to when I was in young like 90’s music, boybands(BACKSTREET BOYS!!!!) or watch my first Adrama’s like BOF, Hana Kimi. I don’t associate these things with stress because I was much younger, they remind me of the time when everything was ‘perfect’, when I didn’t have that much stress, when I see/hear these things it makes me happy and suddenly feels like I’m in another world! Exctually just going back to the past(pictures, movies, music, …)! Another thing that helps me keeping positive when I’m sad is going faaar away to a nice place/event. For example, in december I went to Infinite in Paris( I live in Belgium), I was quiet stressed beacause I still had to do so much for school and I’ve always hated sundays(my ultimate stressdays), but that day we were in Paris far away from everything, it was something we would neeeeveer do on a sunday, but it was so extroardinary/special and I totally forgot it was sunday, my favourite sunday ever!!

    3 years ago
  32. I was actually expecting the post to be longer, with a part for Soo Zee as well xp
    I just want you guys to know that you’re really amazing and definitely an inspiration to so many people. I’m not one to lose my cool easily, I’m pretty zen for no particular reason, but reading through this I find that we do a lot of similar things in our day to day lives. I’m more like Simon and I really appreciate the little things. I’m also a bit like Martina in that when I get really overwhelmed, sorting out my activities really helps me. You guys always provide nice insight, and learning more about where that came from, especially in the case of Martina and how you guys handled it, it’s really eye-opening. And Leigh was refreshingly hilarious, you awesome ninja wizard, you XDD
    I wish you guys lots of health, happiness, and love <3 And EYK is totally not going anywhere cuz you have tons of people who wanna support you, so forget them haters ^^

    3 years ago
  33. Hey! I almost cry reading this post… I’m in a difficult situation, my core stress level is in 99% and everything is critical to me. In some video, Simon talked about “one negative two positives”, and since then I take it like a way of life… In spite of I can’t fix the problems who get me bad, thinking in that way help me to not explode. So thank you for the most helping advice ever!

    And about Martina’s problem… I got a friend who has the same issue… one day she woke up in the morning and she couldn’t hear. Every new diagnose was worst than the last. After months of crying and sadness, she saw another especialist… they found that she have a cronica disease with no complications (except for no hearing, obviously) So keep the good vibres and happiness ever… no one knows what’s going to happen.

    You always make me happy, and this is the gratest post of EYK (except for the panties tug of war LOL)
    Love you guys <3<3<3<3!!!

    3 years ago
  34. Can you guys do a TL;DR about hairiness in Korea-do ppl man/ladyscape? What is the cultural norm for hair (both on the head as well as body) and if there are any Korean secrets to hair removal that ppl there do locally?

    3 years ago
  35. You guys have some awesome strategies! :)
    I guess I think I could benefit the most from Simon’s thinking though. My cat is really old too, he’s 14 and I’ve had him since I was 6 so it’s like he’s been there since I can remember. Over 2 years ago the vet said he had 6 months to live because his kidneys are so bad. But more than 2 years later, he still loves to cuddle and give sass. ;)
    Granted, he does sleep a lot now, and he doesn’t want to play at all, but at least I still have him! And I’m going to cherish the rest of the days I do get with him.
    Thanks for sharing your guise’s strategies for staying optimistic! I really enjoyed this video. :D

    3 years ago
  36. I have a question for you… I watched some school-related kdramas (School 2013, for example).. and I asked myself if schools are really like that in Korea. I mean, the gangs, the ones who always fight with each other, the leader of a group who always makes things difficult for the ”easy-ones”. The teachers always need to do million things, care about the students, their grades and etc. I mean, you can have those situations outside korea too, but where I studied (public schools) I never heard about ”two kids is going to meet up to fight till one goes to the hospital because they want to fight” and, the homeroom techer, do they really act like that, a parent and a techer together? I know it1s a realllly long question, but I got curious, because it’s not only in School2013 drama, but every drama school-related, shows it like this. I got curious >.<

    3 years ago
    • I noticed on school-related dramas that a lot of times the kids are just on their own in the classroom. Maybe it is somekind of studyhall thing and the head student is supposed to be in charge of the other kids? Is that normal too, or only a drama thing?

      3 years ago
  37. I’ve always been a closet optimistic person. I’d think of all the worst possible scenarios and plan for them, secretly believing that good things would happen. And most of the time it did. Then the most heart shattering thing, the one I never planned on happened. My beloved husband died unexpectantly. He is my soulmate, my heart, my other half. I’m waaaay past trying to stay positive. I’m mired in my grief. I’m not suicidal; I just find myself becoming apathetic to everything around me. I’m not sharing this for sympathy or pity. It’s just that once the bomb dropped all those petty things I stressed over in the past seemed insignificant. They were nothing more than spiderwebs, things to be brushed aside.

    The one positive in this is I’ve gained perspective. Now when I start to feel stress I figure “I’ve already dealt with the worst thing imaginable. Is this really going to top that?” I’ve also learned to be vocal when I need help. I had a huge project looming with an unrealistic deadline and normally I’d suck it up and do it but I told my boss about my concerns. She understood, agreed, and told me not to get stressed, that she’d take responsibility for anything left undone. Just hearing that she understood took a huge burden off my shoulders and helped me focus. It was a lot of work but we got it done.

    Finally, in times of extreme stress, it’s ok to feel some negativity or sadness. You just have to try not to let it overcome you. I think of my husband constantly and miss him so very, very much. I’ve accepted that I’m going to cry everyday for awhile. I just hope that the tears are either brief or cathartic. The aim is no more breakdowns where I cry so hard I physically get sick. I know eventually I won’t be drowning in my grief and keep pushing myself forward slowly until I reach that day.

    3 years ago
  38. I’ve got a couple ways. They probably sound totally cheesy and/or weird.
    When I’m sick, I watch Mythbusters. I wasn’t feeling well yesterday, but netflix wasn’t working so I couldn’t watch so I tried Gag Concert. Not the same probably because there were no explosions. (also normally, I’m recovering from a migraine so laughing is a bad idea)
    Kdramas are a big help to me when i’m stressed. I know that is cheesy, but several years ago, I was going through a really difficult family situation around the same time I discovered Kdramas. The poor fluffy escapism let me turn off thinking about all the horrible things that happened or could happen. That is why I have a no depressing Kdramas rule; I want 16 eps of fluff and happily ever afters. Because real life isn’t a happily ever after. I know that sounds like a depressing thought, but fairy tales end and real life continues. Bad things do happen in life and sometimes there is nothing we can do about it. If I pretended life was like a fairy tale, I’d be doing myself a disservice and making myself more depressed when it doesn’t come true (and it never did). I embrace fantasy, but only when it applies to fictional people. And kdramas are bite size fantasies. :)
    After a hard day at work, I like to watch Running Man because it is totally hilarious and ridiculous.
    This one will totally make me sound weird. I listen to upbeat music and sing and sometime it is Kpop, but for the really bad times I need the high-octane stuff- old hymns. Especially “How great thou art” – as a Christian, focusing on who God is and that He is in control, even when life seems out of control, is a real comfort and help and helps put things in perspective.
    Obviously, what works for me won’t work for other people, but find what does and I know what doesn’t work. Focusing on the unchangeable. Focus instead of what you can do to make a situation better, even a little better. and give yourself a distraction from whatever is stressing you out. If you dwell on the bad things, you will only see the bad things.

    3 years ago
    • I have a rule too- that I only watch fluffy kdramas. Real life is dramatic enough for me;) I’m always a little surprised though at how much drama the comedies have! I almost didn’t survive the first eps of Emergency Couple because it is just so, so sad when a marriage doesn’t work out. (I come from a broken family so maybe that’s why I felt it so much? idk.) I’m glad I stuck it out because of the acting, and photography.
      Do you like to listen to Avalon? They are Christian and from US but popular in Korea and have a strong sound that is usually upbeat. I agree about the focusing on God part too- it helps me to keep things in perspective. I think prayer could be a big part of it for me too- I couldn’t get through a day without asking God to help me- and I agree that listening to hymns or more intense Jesus music helps me keep focused. :) Just yesterday, I made a new playlist that has a bit of kpop (because its just so fun to dance to) and then some stuff with deeper lyrics that minister to my soul. If you’re weird, I’m weird too. We should be friends!

      3 years ago
  39. TEARS. REAL GODDAMN TEARS RIGHT NOW. D-:

    3 years ago
  40. So…the blog post made me cry, but in a good way. I really, really, really needed to read this today (and watch the video too). I had a pretty crappy day, well actually a really crappy several past months, but today got me super down. And your blog post was just the perfect reset and what I needed. Thank you so much for being such a positive influence and real power for good on the Internet and in the world. Know that you really and truly make a real difference for so many people. I am so very glad that EYK and all of you wonderful people exist in this world. Also, Martina, your shoes are so cute!!!!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

    3 years ago
  41. Martina, your shoes are awesome…I HAVE A MIGHTY NEEEEEEEED!

    3 years ago
  42. Oh, the email thing… That is why I don’t use internet on my phone.
    If someone wants someting, they should send me a message via phone or just call me. And if it is really urgent ( college exams can be really urgent matters xD , as in : ” I need some sources ! ” ) people know to send me a message that they sent me an email.
    And on my PC, I don’t even have those signals which tell me that I got a new email.

    3 years ago
  43. PRAYING FOR YOU MARTINA! <3<3<3

    3 years ago
  44. Sometime I do the opposite, when im feeling mad or more often sad instead of listening to happy music to get out of the mood I play the saddest music I have and cry it out. Just to get the feelings out, I guess it could be consider a cathartic release. Though more often its the happy music for me. I also snuggle my kitty or my kids when im gaving a bad day. Which ever one I can catch lol

    3 years ago
  45. When I feel a really strong emotion/s or I’m in a rut I like to concentrate on exactly where I am feeling it. For example, If I feel lonely or stressed or just really down in general I focus on where in my body I can feel it coming through and then I just concentrate on the feeling, rather than the thoughts it gives me. It distracts me from dwelling on the negative thoughts too much. Instead of thinking “I have no friends, what if nobody really likes me?” I think “Where can I physically feel this?” Or what kind of feeling (pain, sickness, thumping etc) is it giving me? It really helps me to pull through. Or I just read out little affirmations to myself while listening to some upbeat music. It’s tough getting through hard times or being stressed out, but sometimes you just have to remind yourself what is good in your life or what you’re doing all of this hard work for.

    3 years ago
  46. Wow really sorry to hear about your tumor scare. Similar thing happened to me a couple months ago except I lost my vision for a few minutes. And how fricken scary are MRIs?! I very nearly pushed the panic button lol. But happy to hear that u are both well. Thanks for errithing u do

    3 years ago
  47. I’ve had that angry pet bird literally on my shoulder and it can be very painful. One minute, everything is copacetic. The next thing you know, you have a pierced earlobe and small animal taking great joy in your pain. No joke, birds can laugh.

    It’s not often that something affects me in such a way that I get terribly bent out of shape. It’s a good thing no one is asking for it because I’m kind of terrible when it comes to advice in this area. What works for me usually doesn’t work for others. To put it simply, I don’t let things bother me for long. Those feelings of anger or despair only have as much power over me as I let them. Maybe it comes down to being a product of my environment growing up in a rural area. Like a slower paced “stuff is going to happen… do your best and take it as it comes” frame of mind. I know when something is going to bother me and I feel like I can look at the situation and decide whether or not it’s worth the trouble of getting pissed off. Maybe I’m just massively lazy. “I could get upset but it’s just so much work.” Unless it’s driving related. I’m the nicest and most patient person in the world unless you demonstrate how incompetent you are when behind the wheel. I can’t help that :)

    3 years ago
  48. Thanks for this. I have been going through a tough patch recently and I am currently working on pulling out of it, and it’s a really hard thing to do. This was really uplifting, thank you so much.

    3 years ago
  49. LOVE you guys, and all the “nasties” are so awesome:) Music is my “happy” so I’m sharing some with you. I also try to enjoy the beautiful little things, like how GORGEOUS the spring flowers are where I live. I have had many eye surgeries and have been given back sight TWICE, thank God,….so never give up beautiful Martina and wonderful Simon. Here’s a wonderful song for you all to enjoy:)
    http://youtu.be/z29olPjFbqg

    3 years ago
  50. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, thoughts and tips. Today I was especially feeling uneasy and anxious and after watching the video a big smile appeared on my face. Simon you’re really a sweet, loving and caring husband and I’m so glad that Martina does not have a brain tumor, she´s amazing and I hope everything will be fine. I also use music to relax or to bring out the demons when I’m angry (for the later I listen to Marilyn Manson. I don’t know why but listening his music really helps to canalize my anger and do something positive). Music really helps me to improve my mood. I’m really going to use Leigh’s 3 secrets I think this will help with my procastination bad habit.

    Lots of love for you guise and Fighting!

    3 years ago
  51. I love this post and video and have been reading and watching with tears in my eyes. It just highlights to me how shared experiences just bring people together. :)

    I also esp love Leigh’s thoughts. One of my fave books of all time is Brene Brown’s “Daring Greatly” (and btw, both of you are inspirations of daring greatly!) and one of the biggest things I got out of it is that my worth isn’t tied to my accomplishments. Similar to what Leigh said.

    The hubs and I recently got a puppy, and we are now rediscovering the utter joy and bliss of having puppy cuddles especially when we’ve had bad days. It’s wonderful to come home to someone who’ll love you no matter what you do.

    Another thing I do when I get too into my own anger or pain or whatever yuckiness is I go out (or if I can’t, I do it online) and do something for another person. Making the hubs a cup of coffee, liking and commenting on someone’s FB post, or hunting a particularly positive thing to re-blog on Tumblr…just stringing together a bunch of tiny selfless acts does wonders for my mood. Even calling someone up to say “Hey, I’m grateful for you because ___” is such an awesome pick-me-up :)

    …and when all else fails, there are always Ouran episodes to re-watch ;)

    3 years ago
  52. Positive thought: EYK posted a new video :DD

    3 years ago
  53. Goodness knows I needed this today. Honestly life is hard (never liked the board game either), and it’s things like this that can really make the difference between really living and just ‘hanging on’. I’ve been going through something of a difficult decade and have to admit I’m exhausted. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that there will ever be an end to it, at which point Simon’s thoughts definitely ring true with me. In the immediacy of things, Martina’s words are full of the good sense of which I hope to have more, eventually. Leigh’s brought up some really wonderful points as well, the likes of which I’ve never heard and will be a windfall for me as I get through this term.
    It’s a relief to hear that you’re tumour-free Martina, I can definitely relate to some extent. Hope that you recover your hearing soon.

    Thank you all, for all you do. In the mean time I’ll take the time to go to the park and do balls like Soo Zee. After all I could be doing much worse, no?

    <3

    3 years ago
  54. personally, i just make dozens of lists.. things to do, things i want to do, things with deadlines, things i like, etc etc.. i probably go through an entire post it package a month of less heheh i just really get a sense of satisfaction crossing things off the lists and throwing finished lists away and generally organizing things out. i’m not naturally organized so when i have a lot going on (which is basically all the time) it starts to feel really overwhelming without organization. i also like to treat myself to foods i like every now and then and i make sure to look up at the sky and mountains or ocean or skyline whenever i’m walking anywhere. it really brightens my day up to just see how beautiful this place is, and walking fast like i usually do tends to lead to just looking down so i don’t trip and that doesn’t help much, so looking up can make even a walk/jog “i’m late to class” type situation enjoyable. :3

    3 years ago
  55. Guys! DAMN! After watching the video, I thought about starting my comment by asking a special TL;DR on “how to be positive when your country is in a HUGE crisis” (I am from Venezuela, I hope you are informed about what it is going on here) …but all your comments and experiences were really meaningful, and I am sure they will help me a lot! THANK YOU! YOU ARE REALLY INSPIRING!

    When I feel down or “the blue” comes, first of all, I try to embrace the feeling and well, try to overcome it by finding some “light” on the horizon. Listening to music (specially KPop, obviously!) helps a lot! If a feel that the problem is actually that I am overwhelmed by the “reality” we are living here, I try to isolate myself from everything, try to watch a movie or some anime…having one day a week to completely isolate yourself, is very recommedable!

    THANKS AGAIN!

    PS: If you don’t know what’s going on here in Venezuela, you can watch this video: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151984942802043&set=vb.653687042&type=2&theater

    3 years ago
    • Your country and people are so beautiful. Prayers for peace for Venezuela.

      3 years ago
  56. Wow… I needed this post. My mom has cancer, going through chemo, she’s in the hospital right now, my step-dad and I are taking care of everything. I’m taking care of 3 little kids(a 7 month old, 5 year old and a 8 year old) and a teenager(15, he’s evil) full time. My family is alienating my step-dad and myself. There is so much drama, no one is really helping and they are telling that I do nothing. It’s hard right now, very hard in fact. I don’t have time to go out, but I do have one great friend that visits all the time.

    I know I will be taking all of your advise. Thank you!

    3 years ago
    • hugs! That sounds so hard. I’m glad for that friend who is visiting you! Those kinds of friends are rare and the best. Praying for your and your mom. Hang in there, no matter what the family is saying, what you are doing is really important and really matters!

      3 years ago
    • Aw honey! Sending you lots of hugs your way (and fluffy teddy bears)!

      3 years ago
    • ((HUG)) Just wanted to say, I’ve been there, and it’s a ridiculously hellish experience, but that even if I don’t know you, I’ll be sending tons of thoughts and good vibes your way. Really, when there is nothing else, there is just love, love, love. And love is not nothing.

      3 years ago
  57. I have to say, as much as I can appreciate the other viewpoints, it was Simon’s that resonates with me. Life is just too damned short to waste energy on certain things, and even though I’ve struggled with chronic and often debilitating depression for about half of my life, I can’t help but tend to do what Simon does. Yes, sometimes things suck. Sometimes people suck. Sometimes shitty situations occur, or things that are frightening and scary happen and we have no control over them. But we still have control over ourselves, and there are always going to be good things to outweigh the bad ones, even if you have to look at others to see them if you can’t find them in your own life. They’ll get there eventually.

    And I just have to say – reading Simon’s words about losing sight of Martina in a mall (even if I can’t tell if they were serious or tongue-in-cheek), and the subsequent scare of a possible tumor, made me cry a little. That is a wonderful and amazing love, and I can’t see how much else could ever really bring you down when you’ve got that going for you.

    3 years ago
  58. Me, too!

    3 years ago
  59. I think this post is really good guys – thanks! And perhaps the best outcome of this post is that no one feels alone – how many
    people on here are freely putting their hand up to share their experiences? Personally, I get overwhelmed with stress very easily, so much so that it makes me physically ill. And perhaps what is worse is then I get more stressed from the guilt
    I feel when I see other people that are going through the same (or worse) but seem to be handling it fine. I know I should be grateful for all the good things in my life, and it makes me feel very guilty and embarrassed – which only adds to the stress and depression. Cognitive therapy has really helped me to manage my stress and depression so that I thankfully don’t need medication anymore. However it is so easy to fall into old practices – especially when you have those days you just wake up feeling blue – and I think your tips and tricks are really good for keeping on the right track. The suggestions I got from your vid, blog and all the comments today have really refreshed my energy to enjoy life a little more. <3

    3 years ago
  60. Thank you for doing a video like this, guys, it really means a lot that you care about your viewers enough to share such personal things and try to make us feel better <3 Seriously, I smiled just seeing the title of the video! I actually like to do some of those things, although the thing about me is I can't help taking everything reeaaally slowly. It's created a ton of problems for me in school in the past, and I frequently feel like I'm not making any progress. It's hard for me to make a list of things I've finished in day, for instance, because I take things in increments and I'll start projects and never finish them. But I think the simplest thing about it is that I've accepted that about myself and I've kind of adjusted my whole life so that I don't have to rush things as much :/ if you know what I mean? So like Soo Zee said, I like to go to the park or hang out with a friend that I don't see often, and that'll keep me going through a whole week sometimes :)

    3 years ago
  61. I really like this series of videos you’ve done lately, first with your morning routine, the kpop exercise playlist, and now staying positive! Lately I’ve hit alot of core stresses in my life that has made me realize that all the stresses I had before were insignificant, minor, and self imposed. I just wanted to stay thank you for sharing! I’ve already started making your smoothies from your morning routine and I’m noticing a better me in the morning (my previous breakfasts consisted of cookies and milk and although I knew it wasn’t healthy, it didn’t stop me haha). I also liked how you guys had established a routine. I want to do that as well…now I only need to get myself up earlier in the morning…

    3 years ago
  62. I love these advice type videos! they’re really helpful and stuff. thanks!

    3 years ago
  63. THANK YOU SO MUCH! For the post, for being the awesome people you are, and for many other things. This post came in the perfect time. I have been feeling blue lately… 10 yrs ago I attempted suicide. Luckily I met people who made me realize life can get better. Today, you reminded me this. I still have depression but it’s not as severe. I’m still lonely but I have a loving cat. I don’t have friends but you guys are on the other side of my screen and some how I feel connected

    3 years ago
  64. This really made me so emotional and happy at the same time. I think you all are such awesome and healthy people to look up to, I really wish I had known you ten years ago. After being depressed since I was 11, a bit more then a year ago (I was 25 then) I suddenly said to myself: Screw this! Honestly, I did, and it worked. Sometimes still I wonder if it was all a bad dream, because except for my positive and silly personality, I can’t believe how extremely sad and exhausted I constantly was just hating myself. The things that always kept me going was my friends, listening to positive music (we share the same trick Martina), exercise and acting on the stage. Just before I left for Korea now in March I said to my friend in a bypass sentence: “Yes, since I’m not depressed anymore…” She stopped me and said: SAY IT AGAIN! And in the end we both cried and laughed at the same time while I shouted: I’M NOT DEPRESSED ANYMORE! I don’t hate myself!

    I’m so sorry for all of your hardships, but I know that the relationship you two have is stronger than any mountain, and you can stay happy no matter what. I started following you two when I had one of my last extreme down-periods, and I’m positive that you were one of the reasons I didn’t ruin myself totally. Health and bad thoughts go hand in hand, but we all need to remember our humor and what makes us happy. Your sense of humor is really similar to mine and my close friends, so in a way through you I didn’t forget my funny self.

    Ok, speech over. Stay strong and happy! I’m going to eat lunch with my cute Korean students, and the sun is shining here in Muju :3

    3 years ago
  65. Perfect timing on this post, guise. Seriously. I’ve been pretty suicidal for the past few months and this kind of pulled me out of the rut. Sometimes you get stuck thinking about all of the negative things in life and forget to take a step back and appreciate the positives.

    Much love from Nova Scotia <3

    3 years ago
  66. This came just in time. I’ve been dissatisfied and unhappy since I started my internship 2 months ago and started to complain a lot but then at one point, I was more annoyed by myself than the actual situation. It’s easy to give in to all the negativity but it doesn’t change anything and there are still a lot of good moments. I really like Simon’s “2 good for 1 bad” technique. To have a positive mindset is so important! It doesn’t heal you when you’re sick but it makes the time until you’re healthy again much better. Thanks for sharing these tips!

    My trick in Korea is to go to a dog or cat cafe whenever I feel low since I can’t get any pets myself. Cuddling a cat or playing with dogs is so soothing and makes you forget all worries :)

    3 years ago
  67. I know it may sound silly but I was talking with my mom about what was going on with Martina and she said that maybe it could be earwax… yeah it may seem dummy but she told me that one of my grandparents lost his hearing in one ear all of a sudden, and after several tests they weren’t able to figure out what it was. One day he went to a regular clinic for routine checkup, the doctor heard about the problem and suggested that it could be solid earwax inside that somehow didn’t appear on the tests, and in fact it was.
    Also, she said that someone else had a similar problem but that it wasn’t just earwax, it was also a very small bug that was dead inside along with the wax (gross).
    So, sorry if it seems disgusting, I’m just trying to help in any way possible.

    I hope she gets better soon. Love you guys!! ^o^

    BTW, I saw this pic and I immediately thought of you two :3

    3 years ago
  68. Why do we have to work at being happy but we can be unhappy with very little effort? I think that’s weird. It should be easy to be neutral and we should have to work for unhappiness as well as happiness. That’d make more sense. Maybe my problem is I try too hard to find sense in non sensical things.

    These are things that help me in case anyone needs a few more suggestions:

    Something that helps me a lot – if I’m angry or upset I just allow myself to let it out. In my head. I release a lot of stress and anger and negativity mentally. If someone rubbed me the wrong way or said something that bothered me I’d exhaust all possible reactions, retorts, and responses in my head and my mood gets better as I run out of ways to rage. And because I let myself rage in my head I’m able to maintain an outward appearance of not wanting to wrap my hands around someone’s neck. I let myself be upset and don’t try to fight it, I let out the negative feelings and quickly clear my mind. It doesn’t work 100 percent of the time, but it works enough. I have to indulge my feelings a little bit or they build up and boil over.

    Sometimes it’s the little things that boost my mood. I have a number of things which I’ve associated with happy. There are a number of songs which put me in a good mood. There are foods that I’ve linked to being happy. I have colors that make me happy to see. I have smells that make me happy. I might wear rainbow socks. I might have a cupcake and jelly beans for lunch instead of “real food” or I might put rainbow sprinkles on things they do not belong on. Maybe I’ll do fun, colorful make up or tie a ribbon in my hair. I have body mists that smell like marshmallow, ginger, cotton candy, and bonfire. If I’ve got too many things to get done and too little time to do it I’ll let something catchy and upbeat into my head and hum it under my breath all day to keep from freaking out. Today it was Pharrell Williams’ “Happy”. Last week I was singing Super Junior-H’s “Pajama Party”.

    Nothing is more mood boosting and stress relieving for me than getting to talk to people about things I’m interested in. I like to share the things I like and sometimes the biggest bummer for me is when nobody is interested.

    3 years ago
  69. Two things. The part about losing Martina in the mall seriously made me tear up. What a beautiful heartfelt comment. Like damn son, you guys are wonderful.

    Also, I had an MRI recently to check for things in my brain, and I (thank everything) have a perfectly healthy brain, so to see that her results were negative really struck a chord for me. I’m so relieved you are ok, Martina! I understand that down feeling the few days before you get the results *so* well. I was at school and had to keep my spirits up so I could function. Hearing the news of the results (although pretty expected) took an hour or two to sink in, and then it just became the most amazing news I’d ever heard. I’m having health problems that I’m dealing with that are causing me stress (none of which are life threatening :D), but this post really helped. Thank you so much Simon, Martina, and Leigh! I hope I can meet you guys someday. Next time you come to the Los Angeles area, you will be seeing me for sure!

    3 years ago
  70. What a good read. I didn’t even realise how long it was until I got to the end.
    I used to get so wrapped up in negative comments from people, or my own negative feelings, but the older I get, the less effs I have to give…and it’s beautiful. Even on my “off-days” when I’m lost in anxiety or depression, I just do what Simon does and remind myself that this hour, this day…is a mere fraction of my 30,000 hours (if I’m lucky) on earth.
    So much useful advice here, I especially loved Martina’s break down about the negative feelings. Dwelling in negativity wastes so much valuable time –– time you can use to make memories, money, be with the ones you love, learn a language, etc.

    Sorry to hear about your hearing Martina. As a couple it must be hard to share so much of your lives with the public but I thank you for it because your videos inject humour and knowledge into my life. Now I understand why you’ve been standing to the right of Simon in the most recent videos. In my mind I’ll just imagine you two have fixed positions like K-pop group members :)

    3 years ago
  71. I’m doing an IT/Economics degree in Australia and it can be mad stressful sometimes because the timetables of both don’t really sync up well.

    I find that if I’m having a hard time I’ll binge read slashdot or try to plot and solve a difficult aspect of (simplified) agent based modelling. These are things that focus on the parts of my study that I really enjoy which is the reason I’m studying in the first place. Afterwards I feel more connected to my dreams, I’m more positive because I can remind myself of how I’m working towards them and also get back into the headset – ‘I actually enjoy what I’m doing with my life’. Also at the end of the day, you know more about what you’re studying too and can apply what you’ve read to the current subject matter.

    Creating productivity and positivity – The Double Wammy.

    3 years ago
  72. If Leigh would read this somehow it would mean a lot to me…
    I was born with a lazy eye as a child and had it mostly fixed through surgery while I was young. I still sometimes can notice it in photos and that makes me upset having so many otherwise perfect photos “ruined” by that. But after watching your DICKS videos for awhile I started to be able to get over my own insecurities. There you are, in front of your entire internet audience, still confident as heck and carrying on with your life 100% normal. I realized if people have a problem with my eye it is actually their problem, not mine. You rock, and keep kicking ass.

    3 years ago
    • I showed Leigh this comment and she was really really really happy and excited to know that she is an accidental role model! She says: Let’s keep kicking ass and remember the wise words of my sister (who is also named Erin)… *superhero echo voice* “YOU’RE SO MUCH MORE THAN YOUR WONKY EYE!”

      3 years ago
    • I just want to say that I understand. I was born with a coloboma, a relatively rare eye defect, so I understand. Leigh is my inspiration too!

      3 years ago
  73. I’ve been in depression before, and I honestly can say Im stronger cause of it. Weirdishly, I feel in love with Walt Disney, and Walt Disney World. No, not the movies, the parks, and Walt himself. I don’t know if either of you have been there, but surely enough, there is a magic to the parks, something that simply makes you feel good. I grew up going there often, So by around mid march or when it gets, warm, I start to associate this time of year with Disney Planning. During depression I finely to got the sensation of something I truly enjoy. And i became obsessed because I remembered what it was like to be genuinely happy, and that I might have something to look forward too. So with this love of the Disney Magic, I loved Walt himself and his story. He truly has osme of the great morals, and quotes. And they are what live I by. I now look to the future, and look forward to the things I will do, or what Dream to do. And I’ve been really encouraged to go out and live! Next year I will be in the BEST highschool culinary program in the nation and will be going to Japan! I remind myself ths everyday. Or even on the worst of days, I sit back and watch Disney trip videos do relieve that sensation of joy.

    3 years ago
    • Hmm I had’n thought about it. I went to the parks once (and dream with them sometimes hehe). I personally find inspiring read about people that against odds, finally make their dreams come true or make the best of situations, so I’ll go do some research about Disney now.

      3 years ago
  74. I love you guys <3 I first discovered you when I was going through an incredibly hard time and your videos helped me through. I also have a history of depression and anxiety, and some of the things you've said have reminded me of things I need to do to get myself back on track. Aside from that, you've opened up a whole new world for me and made me fall in love with all things Korean. I'm travelling by myself to Seoul in September. For someone with a travel phobia but who has always wanted to travel, this is a huge deal for me and you have inspired me to confront my fear and do it.

    Martina, on those days that get you down, please remember how much your videos inspire and lift up people like me (not to mention make us laugh) and I hope this makes you feel a little better. You're a true inspiration.

    3 years ago
  75. Thank you all for sharing. These are tools that I’m going to try and implement into my life. I’m so happy that Eat Your Kimchi is in my life because not only was I able to learn about a country halfway around the world from me and fall in love with it but also with people who I would never have come across even though we’re practically neighbours (I live just west of Pickering and went to UTSG for English!). How vacuous my life would have been…

    3 years ago
  76. This post really got me, I felt so identified with it (and not just because Martina likes to make cute agendas too :3). The last year was so awful for me: mean girls, jinx school projects, problems with teachers but more than that, what really brought me down were health issues too. I had this horrible pain in the chest and my left arm. I thought the worst. I went to lots of doctors, tests and medicines but my pain will actually increase. I got so depressed and cried so bad almost every day. Even when I was out with my friends that angry bird will be there so I wouldn’t enjoy be with them. I couldn’ make myself to tell others how I felt, instead I’d just push them away, or if I did say something I’d make it half jocking to not making it sound so serious. Now that those problems are in the past I see how much I feed that stupid angry bird is like I got used to it. So right now I’m still in the process of healing, not physically anymore, but emotionally. To shut up that angry bird and appreciate the good things like Simon said. So I want to thank you for all these tips and all you shared with us, because it helps so much. Love you guises!

    3 years ago
  77. Wow to be honest I almost cried reading the blog post! Not only because of Martina’s hearing loss but also because it kind of put things in perspective as well! I mean I have always thought about these things but a lot of these thoughts about my happiness are often over powered by SCHOOL SCHOOL SCHOOL! And I’ve recently come to realize that MY own expectations, not those of my lovely parents, or teachers, is what stresses me out the most! I have always been the top top top of my class and when I entered high school last year and realized that some people are better than me at things I thought I was the best in, I FREAKED OUT! I convinced myself that I sucked and I was not actually good at anything! This year, luckily, I have found something that I truly love and that helps me realize that I don’t always have to be at the top of everyone and I don’t always have to put these expectations on myself! A year ago, if I got a 91 as a final grade I would cry! This year I am not so hard on myself! and I realize that by accepting my abilities I am getting even higher grades! But those grades don’t matter to me as much as my own happiness and enjoyment and my newly found love for film!!! and of course, outside of the school spectrum, I still suffer from anxiety and depression but I have come to realize that that does not define me and that my anxiety can’t control how my day goes, I CAN!!!! UGHHH *PUNCHES NEGATIVITY IN THE FACE* I AM THE MASTER !

    With that being said, something that always calms me down is having a nice talk with somebody I love! No matter how crappy I think my week, or day has gone, I always look forward to a nice breakfast, the next morning, with my mom and a nice talk with her about anything! anything but my stresses!!! I love it! My family really calm me down!

    Thank you guys sooooo much for making this tldr and blog post! It put a few things in perspective even more and I will definitely be using your tips and tricks! The agenda one with cute things sounds especially awesome considering I use my agenda every day to write down homework and assignments and projects and sturffs!!! One thing I add already it a little ‘Word of the Day’ and ‘Korean Word of the Day’ at the bottom of my agenda each week to kind of excite me and make me happy about learning a new awesome word ! I usually try to use the word for the whole week! It helps me and makes me happy!

    ANYWHOODLEDOODLEPOODLEEEE!!! SORRY FOR THIS REALLY LONG COMMENT! Love you guys and have a good rest of the week ^^ btw I haven’t mentioned how much I love seeing the whole EYK crew together in videos?!! It makes me feel like EYK is family! you got Momma Martina and Poppa Simon and sister Leigh and sister SooZee!! xD

    3 years ago
  78. Since I got ill it’s been pretty damn depressing.
    I went from doing 8 hours of exercise a week to barely being able to walk. I started to put weight on because I can’t exercise. I had to leave University because I was too ill to complete the course. I became isolated from my friends because they’re all off having a great time and I’m stuck here. I felt like all I’m doing is being a pointless drain.
    Having nothing to do can be just as stressful as having too much to do.
    But I learnt a lot too. I learnt not to take things for granted. When I get better I’m going to make the most of things because I know what it feels like when you can’t do them. ^^
    Hmmm I think I’m going to try Simon’s advice as it seems to be the one that fits my situation most. Thank you for sharing guys! This was a really useful video.

    3 years ago
  79. Okay, this is totally off subject, but what is with the parking in Korea!?! Parking facing opposite directions on the same side of the street?! That would drive me nuts!

    3 years ago
  80. Thank you guys; I’ve been down for days after a hand injury that happened on my second day of work, after I’ve been desperate to get a job for soooo long, it’s been hard to focus on anything else. Martina if you could see the angry bird on my shoulder I think it would look more like an ANGRY DRAGON haha. But this is great, you’ve managed to pull me out of it, long enough so I could decide that today I won’t be listening to the bird… dragon. Simon too, yes I injured myself but it’s healing, taking a long time but healing, and I’m lucky I did not loose my fingers, it was close but it did not happen, and I should focus on that aspect. It’s hard to kick a habit and I might drown into negative thoughts again later, but right now I feel better, thank you Eat Your Kimchi crew!

    3 years ago
  81. This is perfect for me because I’ve been feeling really down and “stuck” lately. I feel like I’m not doing anything worthwhile and it makes me feel like crap. But, I recently picked up one of my hobbies again, and it’s making me feel soooooooo much better! =D Personally, I love to write stories (no, I’m not a fanfiction writer). But I find that even if I just write what I’m feeling – like keeping a diary – that helps to melt away the problems. Kind of like my worries and stress are pouring out of my mind through the ink of the pen. :) Any other hobbies are really good because they’re things that you like to do and will make you feel happier that you’re doing something you like instead of something that’s stressing you out. =D

    Also, Korean dramas are awesome for feeling better. Nothing like watching fictional people live crappy lives to make your life seem soooooooo much better. :)

    3 years ago
  82. I think “agenda” is the word you were looking for, Martina XD

    3 years ago
  83. School’s a thing that tends to stress me out all the time so when I come back home, I usually try to do to things that I enjoy doing first or, while I’m working on schoolwork, I take a break to watch/read/do something I really enjoy (e.g. watching your videos, reading coughfanfictioncough, getting up from my desk to walk around the house a bit, etc).

    Also Leigh, your comment about how our value as a person isn’t equal to our grades really made me tear up a bit since I don’t exactly have the best grades and have been feeling really low about it for a long time now. Thank you.

    3 years ago
  84. Ooh! I almost forgot! I would also like to recommend a couple fantastic books on just this topic: Don’t Pop Your Cork on Mondays, and Don’t Feed the Monster on Tuesdays (it’s a whole series, one for each day of the week but these were the only two I had growing up). It’s made for helping kids deal with just these kind of big, hard, life issues, but they are lessons we should never stop reminding ourselves and those around of. Here’s a link to one of them. They’re seriously awesome! http://books.google.com/books/about/Don_t_pop_your_cork_on_Mondays.html?id=_IcKAQAAMAAJ

    3 years ago
  85. You have no idea how timely this TL;DR is. Seriously, couldn’t have come at a better second than today. I’ve been having some health issues since the end of last year and the persistent quality of them, which has been making my normal hobbies nearly impossible, has been pretty torturous. On top of that, my relationship with my best friend of the past 8 years recently fell to shreds and I’ve been feeling pretty isolated and lonely. Everything that you said in the blog post are things that I’ve heard before, but I got pretty buried under the weight of all this crap and as you said, once in that rut it’s much easier to keep digging yourself in than it is to climb out. So thank you so much for posting this, for taking the time to write all of that, to be a reminder that even when things totally suck, nothing lasts – in the words of Avenue Q, “Everything in life is only for now.” Thank you for always sharing things with us Nasties that are really quite personal, when you are under no obligation to be so open with us. I’m so glad to hear, Martina, that your diagnosis came back negative for a tumor, and I send happy healing vibes. Woah, this is about to get cheesy and emotional, but here goes anyway. You guise really are an inspiration in so many ways, whether it’s something like this, or seeing how great and supportive you are as a couple or even just laughing at getting lost in the woods while trying to find that damned Coffee Prince shop! *pukes rainbows and happy frolicking wild Spudgies* Ok, enough already. Sorry for the super long post, I don’t know how to be brief^^;

    3 years ago
    • Hey, just wanted to say I’ve been having really similar problems to yours and you’re not alone ^^ Let’s keep our chins up :)

      3 years ago
      • Aw shucks, thanks for the comment *^^* I say a big strong cheer of ‘fighting’ for both of us!

        3 years ago
  86. For me coffee brings the happy! It always puts me in a better frame of mind. =)

    3 years ago
  87. My favorite way to unwind is probably very cliche and you guys probably have heard it a million times, but it’s watching you guys, other kpop related videos and listening to music. That’s why every time you guys post a new video or a new episode of VIXX TV comes out or something I really want to see gets subbed, it makes me all happy and I can’t wait to watch it ^^. Music also really helps me unwind. But when I’m really stressed and frustrated and depressed, I tend to listen to songs that follow my mood and maybe even cry while listening to sad songs :p. It may sound silly, but I find that having a good cry once in a while really helps. It’s as if all the negativity builds up and when you cry, you flush it all away.

    I also agree with all four of you guys’ take on staying positive, though I think Simon’s way is the hardest for me personally. Sometimes, there’s just too much negative stuff, it seems impossible to find 2 positive things for every negative thing. To be honest, my life has been spinning out of control lately (I won’t go into any details, otherwise, I’ll be up all night writing :p) and there’s just so much negativity and stress, I find it really hard to stay positive sometimes… To be brutally honest, I sometimes want to give it all up and just quit… well… life… But then I think about all the things I want to do in my future, like visiting Korea and meeting you guys :D and buy you guys a draaaank ;p, and I find the strength to go on again :). You guys really give me strength and that’s why I get hurt when I see negative stuff about you guys >:[. I really love you guys as if you’re family and I really wish you guys all the best in life <3. And even if I won't be able to meet you guys in real life, I'll forever be supporting you guys all the way from here, from my chair :p. Love you guys!!!!! *starts throwing Nasty hearts*

    3 years ago
  88. I am enjoying all of the awesome ideas everyone here has to stay positive! The only thing I think I can add to this discussion is to consider keeping a positive mindset as you would consider exercise. It can be a lot of work to stay positive sometimes, but the more you do it, the easier it will get! And just like exercise, it’s more effective if you start small and work your way up than it is to do a bunch of heavy lifting all at once. And if you do it daily, then there’s a good chance that on your off-days when something goes wrong you may be more prepared.

    Here’s to “opening the happy” every day! :)

    3 years ago
  89. First of all, you are so fucking awesome I can’t even.

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS.

    As for me, whenever I’m down, music usually does the trick, like if im having a REALLY crappy day, I listen to Gee. That’s it, it always lift me up. Or if i’m on the computer I try to watch videos of something cool like the recent one of the Lion King cast singing the circle of life in the plane. AWESOME. It makes you smile instantly.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgSLxl1oAwA

    3 years ago
    • I saw that video the other day. I don’t think anyone on that plane expected to see something amazing. Does help to bring a smile onto your smile.

      3 years ago
  90. Whenever I’m feeling down, I listen to music, like Martina. Most of the time, that song is then stuck in my head for the rest of the day. every time I start humming the song, I smile and it makes my day a bit better.
    Another thing that makes me happy is drawing. It’s therapeutic in a way. I completely focus on the drawing and forget everything else.

    Or I watch a once of your video’s, you never ever fail to make me smile, even when I’m really really sad or depressed. I love you guys. :) <3
    Sorry to hear about Martina's hearing loss. Made me sad. Hopefully it will come back!

    3 years ago
  91. I’m kind of person who keeps feeling inside but my mood depends on music. When i’m angry I listen to Linkin Park and just shout everything out with the lyrics. When I have to focus, my choice is Enya, Gheorghe Zamfir or film’s soundtracks (my favourite is from Gladiator). And when I’m sad or just really tired I start listening k-pop :) For beginning SHINee “Ayo” and B.A.P. “Goodbye”, and sometimes after 10 songs I even start to dance :D.

    So advice for people who are moody! When you are sad listen to something what make you feel happy and ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!!! (I hope I’m not only person who can’t read this fragment without singing XD)

    3 years ago
    • Me, too! Funny story about Linkin Park: When I had a really crappy nighttime fast food management job, one of my crap employees used to play Hybrid Theory every night as he did dishes. I hated it! Resented every moment of that awful, angry noise.
      However, after about 3 weeks, there was a night that he wasn’t working — and I missed the music! It was really cathartic for all the anger I had from the job and the arguing son and so on.
      When I found the CD in my husband’s collection, I ripped it to my MP3 player — and it’s been my go-to get-this-emotion-out music ever since. But now I follow it up with Bollywood or k-pop, just to end on a lighter note.

      3 years ago
  92. Cis

    My heart really dropped for a moment there. I’m so glad Martina is ok, besides not hearing so well now. It’s one of the positives! Thank you all so much for sharing your personal stories amd tips^_^!
    My bf kind of lives by Simon’s way of staying positive and I try to. It can get hard sometimes, especially when I get stressed. But then, when I realise I’m stressed or angry or sad, it usually helps to realise this, as Martina says.
    I hope I’ll still be able to read your blogs and watch your funny/serious/awesome/lovable youtube movies when I’m eighty! <3 <3

    3 years ago
  93. Something that always helps me is to remember that everything is only temporary. So while I might be feeling bad right now I won’t be at some time in the future. Also since everything is changing it makes it exciting to see what happens next. When I’m really stressed out I like to take a step back and look at my stresses in the grand scheme of things. Something I might be overly stressed about isn’t going to matter a year from now. Along those same lines I think about what is the worst thing that could happen. Often times even the worst outcome, such as failing an exam, isn’t going to really impact your life all that greatly. It helps me calm down and realize you are where you are and you can only do what you can.

    3 years ago
  94. I agree with listening to music! Happy music always puts me in a better mood when I’m feeling stressed or upset about something. Whenever I come home from a bad day at work, or I’m really feeling exhausted and drained, instrumental music helps me unwind a lot. Like Smooth Jazz or even Classical music (don’t judge! LOL!), it helps me unwind and feel better.

    I find that playing video games when I’m angry helps a lot too; fighting games like Tekken and Mortal Kombat are good, cause you can visualize whoever pissed you off during the day and act like you’re beating the bejeebus outta them! >:D Very effective indeed. :D

    I also find that working out after a stressful day helps a lot too. As does going for a walk. There’s a shopping center a little drive away from me and I love taking long drives up there to walk around and relax and the drive itself is very relaxing. Going to flea markets or other outdoor markets to walk around and do a little shopping also helps. :)

    Sometimes even writing down or typing in your personal blog about what’s bothering you really helps me a lot too. It always feels good to vent about what’s going on. ^_^

    3 years ago
    • Classical music is great! As is soundtrack music. Some of my favorites are Beethoven, David Garrett, Brian Tyler’s “Children of Dune,” and Nicholas Hooper’s “Half Blood Prince.”
      Also new age — especially George Winston’s “Autumn,” Ray Lynch’s “No Blue Thing,” Hennie Bekker’s “Spring Rain” and David Lanz’s “Beloved.”

      3 years ago
      • Omg yes new age is good too! I’ll have to check out the ones you listed. :) My Grandfather used to listen to Classical music all the time; like the big orchestra music. Very good for relaxing. :)

        3 years ago
  95. My trick is a little bit weird, but it works for me. So first of all i really like challenges. Secondly, i don’t like losing (especially to myself) . So when i start having angry or depressing thoughts like for example, this day sucks, everything is going wrong, i spilled the milk and then broke the cup, i make it my goal to ignore them and think of happy and funny things. And each time i think of something happy, i get excited because I’m “winning”. And when that happens, it’s over, there’s no way I’m losing.

    3 years ago
  96. I am really glad that you both made and posted this video. I have being dealing with a lot of anxiety about graduating college and trying to get a job that it has been really hard to stay positive. On top of all of this a lot of additional events have been pushing my life in a directional that is completely new to me so it has been hard. But being positive is definitely the best way to start to deal with the uncertainties that life sometimes throws at you. Thank you all for making this video again. <3

    3 years ago
  97. ^^ i feel you! i’m graduating next month and im in that job/career hunting process plus grad school applications. @_@ it totally stresses me out too but i love watching eyk and reading the comments here :D makes me feel blissful~~~ tralalala~

    3 years ago
  98. Gosh, you scared me with the tumor thing! I’m so glad you’re okay, Martina. Was tearing up a bit. But I’m glad its not a tumor. Thanks for the tips you guys.

    When I’m feeling particularly bad, I put on my music. I like to listen to upbeat songs by artists like BoA, SHINee, Shinhwa, Super Junior, GG, 2NE1, Ayaka, or Arashi, F4, etc. The list goes on, but it puts me in a good mood.

    When I’m feeling down or emo, I put on Gackt, Versailles, Nightwish, Within Temptation, Tarja, The GazettE, ViViD, etc. Heavy metal/symphonic metal.

    When I know I need to make myself feel better, I’ll pop in a Hayao Miyazaki film or Beauty and The Beast or something like that.

    Thanks guys!

    3 years ago
  99. Oh, I forgot to mention – Animated Spudgy is back! Yay!

    3 years ago
  100. Oh, love this blog post because this is something I’ve talked in-family and in-friendzone a lot. I have been told numerous times I am one hell of a happy and positive person. People who hear my family’s history however drop their jaws when they hear what I live with daily… let’s just say, I most likely don’t live an ordinary happy-go-lucky life. In short, my father is a long term surviver of cancer, I call it long term because he hasn’t been cured, however he is still alive *thumbs up*. In truth, no doctor knows how to cure him, so all they can do is treat him. Since it’s soon exactly 10 years since he got his first diagnosis, some are in awe neither me, mom or my brother have collapsed with worry.

    Secondly, my brother. He has a life-condition handicapped that also is uncureable. He was extremely unlucky at birth, because the doctors estimated he had 25% of getting it, which he of course, did. The decease hid within one of my mother’s X-chromozones, anyway… this was back in the early 80’s, and no one within the entire family had ever heard of this condition. The end of that story.

    So, when I say my life can be a roller coaster, it can. If my dad gets worse, we worry. If my brother injures himself, I literally fly into the car to help him. But thankfully, those occasions are not as common as some would think, so generally every day without such worries is a good day.

    So, how do you tackle daily life? Interestingly, it’s these things that can make me positive.

    Because it has taught me that the worst situations don’t necessary mean they are the worst situations. There is always something worse out there, but worrying requires a hell of extra energy that I don’t wanna spend. It’s much easier to smile than being scared. It is much easier to think positive about your day. Sure, you can have your bad days, and that is OK, but don’t let them drag you down, that’s when you need to start loving things aroudn you.

    OK, the last part sounds weird, but I actually had to go to therapy years back when 1, my father’s cancer resurfaced for the first time (of many), 2, my brother had a concussion, which had me worried shitless, and 3, my uni-teacher had a heart problem, which made his Chinese assistant continue all our lessons, and he gave us workload for 12h a day, no breaks. Yes, that did weight me down so badly I had to seek help.

    As for daily stuff, I agree with Leight. Don’t let school/your job or whatever keeps you busy be the only thing. I am a supercreative person, who also loves games, that has kind of become my hobby. I sometimes play games, but mostly I do something creative such as write or draw. I also schedule a lot to keep my evenings clean (unless there is a deadline, (in which it is OK to sacrifice one evening, but not more than two).

    My latest hobby involes two such interests. I started designing Christmas cards, and with the money that I hope to make, I can donate to one of the cancer helporganizations in my country. I just need to ask them for advice on what to do, but hey… I’m in no hurry. Life is too short to stress out, so enjoy it! That’s another one of my positive sayings.

    My cards:

    Can also be found on: http://popcorn-cloud.deviantart.com/

    3 years ago
  101. I read the whole thing and I want to thank all of you for writing it. I’ve been in a kind of bad place mentally for the past month. After finally getting over a nasty cold that lasted a whole week, my mother and I both came down with the worst flu either of us have had in years. I think I needed to read this to remember to keep a better perspective. We’re recovering and the weather is warming up. Life is pretty good.

    Martina, I’m so sorry to hear about your ear. Thank goodness it wasn’t a tumor, though! My heart almost stopped when I read that. I know how scary it can be to wait to hear from doctors about things like that. Just last Fall I was having problems with my neck and was scared I might end up paralyzed. Turns out it’s just a ruptured disc from a car crash I was in a few years ago. With the proper exercises, I should be able to stay on top of it. But it’s the unknown aspect that can be the worst.

    If I were to add any point to what you wrote, I think it would be to surround yourself with people who care about you, like what you have. :) But, too often I’ll see people (myself included) becoming friends with people who (intentionally or not) pull you down and make you feel rotten. Sometimes they’re hard to avoid, like when they’re family, but then my Mom says you just have to not give them the power to control you. Still working on that.

    Well, I hope that everyone is having a good week and thank you again for this really positive post. I just realized that I haven’t even watched the video yet! :O I’ll have to do that next!

    3 years ago
    • Okay, watched (and loved) the video now! And it got me thinking about other “tips and tricks” that I use to stay positive and one that i really like, which works almost every single time, is that if I’m having a rotten day, I’ll try to do something nice for someone else. It’s rarely a big thing, but it’s more like playing a game with my brother that he’s always wanted me to play. Or smiling at every single random person I see on the streets (which is really rewarding when that one person smiles back). Or doing someone else’s chores so that *they* have one less thing on their plates. Like I said, they aren’t really big deals, but just seeing someone else looking happy can improve my mood.

      Also, cleaning in general helps. I don’t know why, but it really clears my mind and helps me calm down. ESPECIALLY my bedroom. Going to sleep in a messy room is like knocking all the books off my mental shelves. But as soon as I clean it up, my brain goes, “okay, I’ll let you think about other things now.” I’m not sure if this is just me.

      3 years ago
  102. If I am having a crap day, this is the song that turns it around for me while completely describing my quest for sunshine. It is either this or stripper music (Ugk, 8 Ball and MJG, Shonuff by Tela, pretty much any down south rap):

    http://vimeo.com/user9661960/sparrohappiness

    3 years ago
  103. Thank you, Simon, Martina, Leigh, and Soo Zee! This video was quite an encouragement for me. Something that makes me happy when I’m blue, is trying new activities. Just last Friday, I did indoor rock climbing for the first time and it was amazing! Scary at first, but amazing! Other times, I’ll go with friends to try a new foreign restaurant, read my favorite book, watch a classic movie, play my guitar, or when all else fails, Nutella soothes my blues. When stressed, I plug in my earphones and hit the gym for some kick boxing relief. Juggling college, family strains, church, friendships and future plans gets overwhelming some days, but my mantra to get through it all is this: “It’s NOT the end of the world. Whatever happens, will happen, but how you handle it is what matters most.”
    P.S. Martina, I’m glad you’re not letting the hearing loss bring you down. Because you’re smiling and carrying on, that shows me how strong you are and I admire you for that! Big hug for you<3

    3 years ago
  104. I live near in Texas near the hill country part, and whenever I get stressed out I go for a nice long drive through the hills and windy side roads, and I just appreciate all of the nature I’m looking at. It really calms me down. Also on these rides I play my really calming music that I can sing along to, and that makes it even better! School is a HUGE stress factor in my life, especially when I was in high school, because I had to try to maintain my GPA in a competitive environment, and GPA was so important to get into college, etc. But now that I’m in my second year of university, I’ve taken a step back and I’ve thankfully realized that I need to not get so bogged down with worries about school or my life or anything like that. If I get a C in a class, I don’t start panicking and thinking that my life is going to be so ruined by this, whereas before that was all I did. I just think, “ok, it’s a C, you tried hard and that’s all that matters, now let’s do something else.” It’s been really freeing to let all that go and to realize that my life will still be JUST FINE. But i’m also still dealing with stress in other areas. I have pretty severe social anxiety, where I hate interacting with strangers, calling people on the phone, talking in front of classes, even raising my hand to answer questions, etc., and it’s just a huge inhibitor when it comes to me doing things. But i’m slowly working to get over these fears. It’ll take time, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. SO THE POINT IS y’all have given me great advice that I will seriously start listening to! I do worry about the future, because I can’t help it, but I’m also really learning to appreciate the here and now and what I have in this moment :)
    p.s. Martina, I seriously look up to you (and simon, but i’m a girl, so Martina is that girly influence), and I really do hope for the best for y’all and that Martina will get better :)

    3 years ago
  105. I realize this comment will sound like a broken record, but I cannot tell you how much I love this post and video (what you guys wrote actually made me tear up!). Many of us are told that if we aren’t at the top (if we don’t have the best grades, aren’t the most attractive, the most talented, etc.) that means we’ve failed. If you aren’t number one, you’re nothing. We encourage success and drive–which are good things–in all the wrong ways. That unhealthy kind of pressure has made that little angry bird on my into a terrifying, clawing hippogriff at times, and, as someone who has struggled with depression, I’m only now starting to learn how to manage that.

    I also just wanted to let you know how big a role EYK has played in helping me become a more positive, generally happy person. Your videos never fail to put a smile on my face and you guys have given me a positive community in which I can share my love for Kpop, cute things, Korean food and culture. Watching you two be so openly loving with each other has cheered me up numerous times and reminded me of how important it is to cherish the people you’re with in any sense, whether it be in my romantic relationship, my friendships, etc. Seeing your new videos and rewatching your old ones IS my treat during a bad day or week.

    Also, I agree with all the tips you gave and would like to add two of my own.

    1) Take time for yourself when you need it, to do whatever will make you a little less glum. Now, I’m not saying that you should take a three hour break and give yourself twenty minutes to write your 30 page research paper, but try to recognize when you’re spiraling downward. In college, I was a full-time student, had two TA positions, a job, and ran a few clubs. There were days where I had had a gross pile-up of unfortunate events, hadn’t slept well the night before, and then still had hours of homework to do for my next day of classes or a stack of papers to grade. Although it may seem counter-intuitive, sometimes it helped me to step away from my work for 20 to 40 minutes and just waste time. I’d watch eight KMM’s in a row or watch an episode of a new anime, etc. I needed that mental break, that time to just selfishly waste on myself despite not REALLY having the time to waste, and it always helped me come back to whatever task that was in front of me a little less negative and more productive.

    2) Cut negative influences out of your life. Do you have a friend that constantly tries to make you feel bad about yourself or makes bad decisions that affect you as well? Create some space between you and that person. Everyone has bad days, so don’t drop your best friend over nothing, but try to look at your relationships with others objectively at times. I understand that you can’t always do that, particularly when the negative influence is a family member or roommate (essentially anyone you have to spend a lot of time with), but try to find alternative methods of coping with their negativity then. Stuck in a bad roommate situation? If you can’t move, spend more time in the library, a coffee shop, with other friends, etc. I’m simplifying things, but try to develop “shields” that can help deflect other people’s negativity.

    Finally, I’m so glad that Martina is–for the most part–alright! I’m sorry about your hearing loss, Martina, but I’m so glad for you, Simon, your family and friends, and even for the fans, that you did not and do not have a brain tumor. I think the approach you both had to the situation shows not only how important it is to find that “1 positive for every 2 negatives,” but how important surrounding yourself with loving, supportive, positive people is as well. Having gone through a similar experience with a family member, I’m sure there were moments where staying positive was challenging (for both you and Simon) and that’s okay, but allowing yourself to dwell on the negative potential “what-ifs” is when it’s easy to get trapped in a negative mindset.

    tl;dr: I love this post and I love being a Nasty. Thanks for always being that ray of sunshine during my more cloudy weeks. <3

    3 years ago
  106. Thank you guys so much for this wonderful video & post – it actually made me tear a little bit and I’ve bookmarked it so that I can come back to it when I’m feeling down. I’m also really glad to hear that Martina is ok! I kind of do a mix of everything you guys said, but I would say that I’m actually most like Soo Zee.

    This post comes at a point in my life when staying positive is the most important thing – something I learned to do the hard way. Without going in to too much detail, my life basically fell apart this past year. I hit rock bottom and I’m only just starting to slowly pick myself up again and move towards getting out of it as a happier and healthier person. But it’s taught me a lot, so I’d like to share what I’ve learnt with you :) Some of them have already been mentioned (like thinking of the positives), so I’ll skip those and I’ll try to keep it short!

    1) There is no “one correct route” to life. Seriously. There are SO MANY paths that can lead you to one place. That’s not to say that all paths are of equal length and difficulty, but the point is that they exist. So you were rejected from the course you wanted? Apply again next year! You got to the end of your high school life and are dissatisfied with your final grade? You can re-sit the exams! Sure, neither are favourable and they require more time, but if you have the genuine passion and perserverance for it, they’ll take you to where you want to go.

    2) NOTHING is more important than your health and happiness. I know that society dictates that we shouldn’t be ‘selfish’ and I’m not saying that you shouldn’t help others (I know I always try to and I love it) but screw society! So your mum wants you to become a doctor, but you want to become a fire dancer. Become a flippin’ fire dancer! Your friend wants you to come to some dangerous underground club with her and you don’t want to go! Then don’t! IT’S OK TO SAY NO! You shouldn’t feel like you have to surpress yourself. Just do what you love, even if you’re deemed a ‘failure’ or whatever because it’s better to find those who accept you and be happy with your life than to be accepted by all and be miserable. Make your health your priority. Don’t consistently sacrifice your sleep for your work – it’ll just end up being detrimental for both yourself and the quality of your work. Your health is most important because if you’re healthy, you can get yourself out of any predicament that you’re in. How can you help others if you’re not in a capable position? So go ahead, put yourself fist :)

    3) No matter how bad you’re feeling, make yourself get through to tomorrow. Because no matter how dark and hopeless tomorrow may seem when it’s the day before, I promise you that when you wake up in the morning you won’t feel as bad, because tomorrow is a whole new day and a whole fresh start!

    4) Finally, and most importantly, IT’S OK TO ASK FOR HELP!! Being someone that grew up always trying to do things for herself, this was the biggest thing that I learnt. Now, when my workload beomes too much to handle and I need some assistance to speed things up, or I’m feeling exceptionally down and need someone to talk to or a cuddle, I’ll just reach out to the relevant people around me. Sometimes it’s difficult to do, but it’s always been well worth it. More than feeling you’re a burden, people are usually just thankful and honoured that you’ve trusted them enough to ask for help and are more than happy to offer you what you need. It ends up creating strong bonds between two people. I’m not saying you should always ask for help – of course you should try doing things for yourself – but if you’re stuck, it’s totally ok :)

    These are more the solutions I feel help you remain positive in the long run :) I always just try to think of the positive – think of what I can achieve, what I want to achieve and try to always be grateful for what I have. For every dip there’s a rise and once you hit rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up! I hope this was an insightful comment that you can take something away from ^-^

    3 years ago
    • Thank you! :) Yeah, I was exactly the same and I’m really glad that someone else shares my views! Your comment about spreading joy is a really nice way of putting it :)

      3 years ago
  107. Wow good timing with this! I had a bad day today. I’ve been stressed out with the book and been putting a lot of pressure on myself. I found out last night that my dog back home in Australia has really bad hip dysplasia and she is just getting too old, and I feel so guilty living here away from her and knowing she could possibly die without me seeing her again. It’s been a really tough week on the farm. We can only get small amounts of sleep because there are just too many strawberries and the weather is too farm. Hugh’s parents sleep only a few hours at night, and we don’t get enough either because the packing happens in the house so no one can really have peace and quiet for sleep. It’s after 3am now and I’m about to go downstairs to help again. All these things really build up…. like I burst into tears earlier because I accidentally knocked a box of strawberries over! It seems like a small thing but it was one Hugh’s mother had already packed, so it was my fault that she had to do it again. Little things can really build up and make you feel like crap.

    So yes, I really need lots of tips right now! I really liked Leigh’s tip about having a deadline to start rather than one to finish. That is a great tip for me right now because of the pressure I’m feeling. I will be trying to put this advice into practice.

    3 years ago
    • Thank you Cassie :) The positive thing is I can now pack strawberries professionally. They have to be sorted by size and shape in Korea and placed in the containers in a certain way. Hugh’s mother said she had tried to teach one of the aunts how to do it many times and she never could, but I could do it well within a short amount of time. Probably because I have tiny tiny fingers! Anyway it’s good because it means I can help when there are too many. Last night they wouldn’t have been able to finish if I hadn’t been working as well. It was after 6am when we went to sleep but I felt a lot better.

      Also, random fact, because Korea wants strawberries sorted by size and shape, they miss out on the best ones! The sweetest ones have defects and weird lumps and are usually weirdly skinny. They are so sweet they taste like candy but the Korean public never get them!

      3 years ago
      • I’ve seriously been wondering about the packaged strawberries here. Oh, Korea. Your desire for perfection takes so much joy from your living…

        3 years ago
  108. This was very insightful into your personal lives as well as helpful tips for how to cope with every day stresses. First I want to say I am so sorry that Martina has lost hearing in one ear! That is terrible and I can’t even imagine how hard that must be, especially in how you’ll have to posture yourself differently so you can hear better. I know how sensitive ears can be especially to easily being damaged. I’ve had bad ears forever (I get constant ear infections and had to have tubes in my ears as a kid), and my empathy levels are off the charts!

    Also I want to comment on Simon’s approach to stress because I do a little of the same as well… I’ve struggled with many mental health problems as well as poor physical health and over the years I have been learning through experience as well as classes and therapy how to cope and go through my day as healthily as possible. One of the things I find most effective is reminding myself of all the good in my life (and in this world). The negativity in our lives seem to build up around us until their is so much negative gunk we just can’t see the positive anymore. So a key way to having a successfully more happy day is pushing the negative gunk away and letting the positive in. It was a hard process to understand when someone told me I just needed to let a lot of things go! That a lot of my physical and mental energy was going into the negative and I just didn’t have the energy for anything else… And so on a daily basis I am constantly asking myself (I have a mental mommy voice that I use to talk solo to myself hahahahha); “Do I really want to let this upset me?” “Do I really want to focus on how annoyed this is making me or do I want to smile and realize it’ll be over soon?” “Do I want to keep waiting to take my ibuprofen or pain/anxiety prescription or should I just take it now because I’ll be feeling well enough to move around and have a good time again?”

    I deal with a lot of physical pain (I have muscle atrophy from being too underweight), as well as I carry stress in my shoulders and back (tensing those poor muscles up without realizing it!) and I wanted to clear that up for my last comment on physical pain…

    But yeah I just give myself pep talks all day long and remind myself of stuff and it helps all my problems I deal with go away… The anxiety dies down, the depression skulks away, the panic dissipates, and a smile appears :D

    3 years ago
  109. Oh no hopefully Martina will recover soon :(

    3 years ago
  110. Just made an account for this. The information you gave is so useful and helpful that whenever i am stressed i will look back at this and use some of these techniques. (Especially Simons life is to short tip) I also want to thank you guys for using your personal stories, when i heard about Martina i welled up. You didn’t have to tell us but you chose to and i appreciate that. The examples you gave made it easier to picture how to be less stressed. I’m not sure if the hearing loss is permanent but i hope Martina finds a way to cope with it or her hearing comes back. :)

    3 years ago
  111. Personally I like this kind of serious blog posts the best.
    I’m currently having a hard time with my schooling. Thank you for such an amazing TLDR. I don’t know why but I did get emotional reading this.

    3 years ago
  112. Martina, your “angry bird” sounds just like a Sneaky Hate Spiral! I think we’ve all had these days. Allie Brosh illustrated it nicely: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/05/sneaky-hate-spiral.html

    Also, just wanted to offer a giant, internet hug for everyone *HUG* You guys are awesome.

    3 years ago
  113. This was a great TL;DR! I like the shot and effects….and watching some of those vans and cars on the speed bumps behind was weirdly hilarious. I thought SooZee would have a part too in the blog? I’m sorry about your ear Martina, I made some suggestions in another post here.

    The topic is kind of funny for me though, since watching EYK videos is one of my pick-me-ups! Part of why it’s been so great that you’re running on schedule lately. Maybe some people just get upset when their favourite happy times video is not available when they were expecting/needing it?
    I guess that I am somewhere between Simon and Martina on picking myself up. I am no scheduling/working ninja like Leigh nosireeee…….I like happy music to cheer me up. Since I’ve been married, I pretty much avoid sad or angsty songs – why kill my good mood? I also like hugs from my son or husband and we make it a point to have a good morning hug and good night hug every day no matter what, sometimes several ;)….but petting a cat or hugging a teddy will do in a pinch. One thing that really helps me to get out of a mood is, rather than focusing on all the things that are stressing me out that I can do nothing about, I focus on the things that I CAN do (thank you Cardcaptor Sakura) and then do them. Or do a chore that I enjoy and can zone out doing, like sweeping the patio or folding laundry so I at least feel like I didn’t completely waste my time while moping and got something done that needed to be done anyways – that always improves my mood. Exercise – walking, dancing, chores, whatever, sometimes a drive in the country – will always make me feel better, especially in the sun and sometimes helps to take a break from my worries.
    For school, I was always more into actually learning the material than on the tests, and this has helped me later on…..and if you understand the material, you will remember it and be able to pass tests on it. In the long run, the marks aren’t as important as being able to apply the knowledge.

    Cyber_3 – 20 years later, still gets exam anxiety nightmares when she is really overtired….WHY?!!!!!!!!!

    3 years ago
  114. When I feel stressed, I find listening to positive music and going for a walk really helps. When I go for a walk, I am able to think about the things that have been stressing me out, pack them into little boxes that I can handle, and determine how I will overcome them. Once I’ve had enough time to think them through instead of feeling overwhelmed, I find my stress lessens. I also like to make lists or keep a schedule/agenda when I know I have a lot of tasks coming up that I need to tackle. Once I have it on a list, I’ve also managed to sort it out into a manageable situation, and as I cross off the list I begin to feel better.

    Also, I am glad Martina’s results came back negative. That must have been very scary for you guys, and I’m glad that you feel comfortable enough with the situation to share about it now. Positive thoughts all the way!!!

    3 years ago
  115. Actually, I very rarely get stressed about anything. I’m a problem solver by nature so when I feel like I have a crap load of stuff to do I just stop for 5 minutes, think things through and write everything down, what needs to be done for when and how I can portion off the work so it’s done on time. I don’t panic – I never panic. It wastes time. I tend not to think about the past either – lots of people worry about the “What ifs”, and I think that’s unhealthy. Things happened the way they did, you can’t change it now so there’s no point in stressing over that. Focus on what you CAN do.

    I dunno, I’m just super laid back so nothing bothers me to the point where I feel sad or stressed about it. Except for when I didn’t get into the university I wanted to and ended up going to my insurance offer, where I really didn’t want to go, I ended up crying on the phone to my mum and she was really surprised and worried because.. I was actually stressed about something haha.

    For me, if I do get overwhelmed, I just remind myself that life goes on – crap does happen, but I’m still alive. But I do feel down sometimes, and meeting up with friends usually helps, or watching comedy – laughing is one of my favourite things to do and it just makes me feel better. Or I’ll do shopping online, because I love getting mail. Just listening to upbeat music helps me feel better too – and also makes me feel bad for feeling down. I’ve no right to feel sad about things when my life is pretty great, so I never listen to sad music. Stay positive!

    This is a really great TL;DR – I’m sure you helped a lot of people with this!

    3 years ago
  116. my thing is to watch my favorite EYK videos. Laughing with you guys pretty much cures any of my crummy days ^_^

    3 years ago
  117. A few thing that really help me stay positive are :

    – Running or getting a walk -> That said, getting to work or coming back from work doesn’t count as a “walk”. You need to get out of your home with a “I’m going for a walk/run” mind set. With some kick ass music (run) or some calming, indie suff (walk) in my ears. Even better if the sun has set. Walking/running at night really calm me or give me the opportunity to blow some steam off.

    – [This one is a better harder to do sometimes] Trying to get the big picture -> Sometimes, when a load of shitty stuff happens one after another, I try to remember of another said time that this kind of bullshit-chaos happened in my life. Then, I think about how it either helped me to see things in a different way after a while or how I never thought about it ever for a quite a lot of time (couple of years or more). Finally, I try to tell myself that what’s happening now won’t matter that much in a little while and that I might even laught about it at some point.

    – Doing something just for me -> This one is kind of a combo between Simon and Martina way of staying positive. If I work really hard at something all day, or during 5 intensive hours, then I give myself about everything I want at the end of the said day. I’ll eat what I won’t regardlee of how healty it is, I’ll watch a bunch of drama or anything I want to watch on TV, I’ll drink some wine, I’ll do about anything that isn’t an obligation. I try to do this everyday, but when it’s really a shitty, stressfull and loaded day, and that I cannot do that, I try to clear my weekend to just do… sweet nothing! It’s something like 1/5 (or almost, I prefer 2/5, but you do what you can) of my time is for myself and only me. I have somewhat the same mentally regarding my work-out habit and it helps me not giving up because I always get some time off.

    3 years ago
  118. I’ve found that there is good stress and bad stress. I’ve been stressing out about a magazine I’m doing but since it’s something I love to do I’ve got a good workflow going. And then there’s school which totally doesn’t suit me. I want to learn by doing and I can’t do that with exams and reading until my eyes bleed. So I’ve accepted that and now only look for something I’m passionate about doing. So that when I’m stressing and trying to piece it all together, it’s for the right reasons and I can remind myself that the outcome is going to be something I’ll be very very proud of!

    And yeah, I just take it day by day and tend to not think on the long run. Ok, today I’ll do this little thing, the other day something else and after a while you’ll realise that most of your work is done and you didn’t stress out about it. Just start somewhere and don’t think about how it’s going to fail if you don’t start NOW and do everything at once. Take it little by little!

    I’m really glad that it wasn’t a tumour Martina!! Both you and Simon are such great role models and whenever I feel especially down about making videos or something I watch yours and get cheered up again! You inspired me to make my very own Youtube videos!
    I remember how it was like meeting you in Stockholm and how insanely happy I was afterwards. Literally floating on clouds because of your attitudes, personalities and emotions! For how beautiful you both are together and show it to the world as such good examples. Thank you!!
    Lots of love and good wishes to you all! :D

    3 years ago
  119. I just want to say thank you guys so much for this tldr! I really needed this since I’ve been stressing over these research papers I need to do by the end of the term and it’s getting down to it. Thank you! :)

    3 years ago
  120. I couldn’t tell you guys were struggling with some serious stuff because of your super positive energy. Thanks you for being YOURSELVES regardless of pressure and stress and all those things that can wear someone down. Also, it will be collective heartbreak on the internet when Spudgy does pass, but you guys gave him such a happy life that I can’t be sad for that. Literal tears at work.

    3 years ago
  121. I think in S & M’s case its easier for them to stay positive since they are doing their dream job, and your love of your life happens to be also your best friend, and you got hundred thousand fans who send you awesome stuff all the time.

    If someone is single, does a job that they don’t like at all, don’t have much money, nor much free time to go out then it a damn site harder to stay positive.

    3 years ago
    • It is harder, but it is possible.
      I’m single in my 30s something i never planned to be, my work is OK sometimes, but other times it is insanity. when I was in my 20s “living on dreams and spaghetti’Os” – I’d get down really easily.
      things that helped: I learned when I was down and my body’s monthly hormonal tap dance was getting me down and by learning this, I was able to attempt to focus on the positive of whatever negative was making me down because I realized it wasn’t as bad as I thought.
      then I realized, nothing is a bad as I think and if I can’t fix a problem, I can make it a little better by not focusing on the worst aspects.
      As the old song says “accentuate the positive” :D

      3 years ago
    • I understand you and often feel the same way. Is like you are waiting for something to change, to get better and it just doesn’t. But like they said, you have to keep looking at the bigger picture and in the mean time try to focus in the little good things, it is so damn hard, but is like a habit you need to practice. And if something I’ve learn is that everyone has their own load of s**t in this life to go through. *ends pretending being a motivational speaker/therapist*

      3 years ago
    • I don’t disagree that some situations are harder to find joy in than others, but little moments of happiness can be found in any situation- even if you have to look DAMN hard for them. But isnt it worth the effort to find it, no matter how small? 10 minutes extra sleep, cleaning out a dryer lint trap (my favorite. Seriously.), hearing a bird chip after a brutal winter that never ends? Still great things worth celebrating. Its not world peace, or falling in love- but most of life isnt.

      Dont mean for any of this to sound preachy, just this is how I got through a brutal/no sleep/no time/no money/lonely part of my life.

      3 years ago
      • I often feel like I’m not going anywhere, just being stuck in the moment while others around me seem to advance.

        3 years ago
        • I have a theory that this feeling is the basis for most depression. The feeling that one isn’t thriving. I once read a thing about a Native American tribe’s keys to self worth. I don’t know how true it is, but it was something like people need to feel fulfilled in 4 areas for optimal self-worth. They need to feel mastery: they are good at something, generosity: they can contribute something to the community, belonging: there is a community to which they belong, independence: they have a good degree of autonomy in what they do and the choices they make.

          I’ve always liked those keys, but over time I noticed that even when people feel fulfilled in those areas, they can still feel sad. Something essential was missing, and I realized that thing was progress: people need to feel that they’re growing and changing in a positive way. In fact, I found that even if people weren’t fulfilled in *any* of those other areas, they would get stressed out, but were often positive because they were progressing, so they felt hopeful.

          So yeah, it can really suck when you don’t feel like you’re progressing, but keep in mind you can progress in any number of things. Even if you’re not progressing in your ideal areas of life, you can still progress in other areas. Think outside of those things where you want to see change. Where else can you see change in your life? It might be something small, but it can really help. I’m dealing with this myself right now, and during a long, gray winter it was hard to fight the urge to embrace it and just stay inside and watch tv while the minutes of my life burn away. But fight it I must and fight it I do I (as I write this, I wonder if my love of kdramas is due to loving the progression of the story. If my life isn’t progressing, at least I can vicariously enjoy the progression of someone else’s fictional life. Well, I’ll be thinking about that all night now.) So I read that philosophy book, I take that flamenco class, I learn 10 verbs from that language. These aren’t super important life changing things, they’re like mini-progressions, but they tide me over until I can figure out how to progress in some of the bigger areas of my life.

          3 years ago
        • Wow, I see what you mean, thanks for the thoughtful words.

          3 years ago
  122. Wow talk about relevant video to me. I’ve been to stressed lately y’all made my day! Happy Wednesday! Totally jealous of your lovely spring weather though we still have more snow coming and our trees don’t flower like that till later in April or May.

    3 years ago
  123. Oh also! Martina, for your ear problem! I don’t know if you have been to chiropractors at all, I’m assuming you might have tried it with EDS, BUT I went to my chiropractor for my ear problem (My eustationary tube does not open and close properly) and he did laser therapy on it. It was no quick fix or a permanent fix, but it did improve my condition and it is not as bad as before! I recommend getting your neck adjusted, but I know there are any limitations with EDS when it comes to chiropractic. A little research lead me to read about the use of low-force techniques for treatment with EDS. But the laser therapy if you can find a doctor is something I would look into. My chiropractor lasered my ears, my neck, my ankle when I twisted it, and even my jaw because my dentist is a jerk and screwed with it. I don’t know if Laser therapy is in Korea but I’ll do a little research and report back what I find! :)

    3 years ago
    • My chiropractor used laser acupuncture therapy but also used ultrasound therapy on the sides of my neck for my eustachian (sp?) tubes. I think that both are fairly international? At home, I find some aspirin and lying on a soft icepack on the side of my neck also help when my ears and jaw just don’t want to behave. Also as a person with very productive nose and ear glands (er…..yeah), sometimes you have to do oil cleansing or candling on your ears to clean them enough to hear if they get blocked up.

      Thinking on it, I did have a virus last spring (my son caught it too) where my ears (my right especially) were blocked up for over 2 months (!!) and there was a fair bit of coughing with it at night. Doctor said there was nothing to do but wait it out. Time (almost 3 months total from the beginning) and lots of icepacks later, it finally went away after hearing a “crack” of my sinuses one night. Maybe you will feel better soon Martina, I hope so.

      3 years ago
  124. Thanks for sharing guys. This is going to help a lot of people, me included :)
    And Simon, isn’t that ‘sight’ up there, instead of ‘site’? :”D

    3 years ago
  125. Thank you :)

    3 years ago
  126. Well, this was a timely post considering right now I’m so stressed out, I’m throwing up :( We’re working on putting our first house on the market and looking for a new one, all while still trying to live in our house, keep up with my daughter’s schoolwork, and continue with our lives . I have anxiety issues (the joys of heredity) that seem to get worse the older I get (darn grownup problems :P). Your videos bring a lot of laughter which is often key for me to break a spiral. Gotta get those endorphins up :)
    PS: where’s SooZee’s part? there’s only 3 of the promised 4. I was interested to see what she had to say. Also Simon, I think your approach is very guy. My husband’s just like don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of everything. Sigh, if ony it was that easy!

    3 years ago
  127. I really love to cook or garden when I feel super stressed out. Making noodles or bread actually is one of my favorites because you can really wail on the dough and get frustration out. I think most of my more negative feelings come from just random people being obnoxious, especially the net. But, you cam unplug, and for every jerk out there, there is at least two or three people that are just really wonderful!

    Martina’s hearing loss was a little scary to hear about. I am really glad it wasn’t worse and went away. I heard that people can lose functions in a variety of ways when it comes to the brain. My boyfriend’s mom has MS, and has had periods of time where she has lost function in her legs and partial vision. The brain is really weird. There is still a lot of stuff we just don’t know about it.

    3 years ago
  128. Thanks guys for being so awesome! I love your positive energy.

    I totally agree with Martina- I really dislike it when people go to the theatre and are on the cellphones or take the liberty of being the Greek Chorus.

    As for what I do to stay positive, I watch your videos! They help me relax and see that happiness and love exists in the world.

    Another thing I have begun as of late is Hot Yoga. It’s the best. I hate exercising but it’s so good for your physical and mental health that it’s hard not to love. My two favourites are Hot Power Yoga and Hot Abs and Arms Yoga- they’re intense, you sweat buckets and after you feel awesome (until the next day when you feel sore). Some days I really don’t feel like going to yoga, I feel so tired, I have a migraine coming but I go to yoga anyways. And I still feel tired and have a bit of a headache after my practice but the stress is gone that I feel so much better afterwards.

    Lastly…Let It Go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC83NA5tAGE

    3 years ago
  129. Great TL;DR and blog post! The things you discussed I was actually learning about in my Psychology class today! So everything ties in well. Stress can cause a lot of harm on your immune system! In the future when dealing with stress and just general life I will have to keep in mind the things ya’ll said!

    3 years ago
  130. This TLDR was very inspiring and the blog post was lovely, I am very happy to know that you are all good and I hope Martina’s situation gets better.
    As a person that deals with social anxiety and that takes herself for granted I gotta admit that what you guys said is true. I stress myself, I make myself feel less than others, I am the one that makes myself angry, is not the people around me or the situations, is me with my thoughts. I struggle with this everyday, but I am glad that since about a year ago I was able to realize this (and today you reassure it) so I can keep on fighting against it.

    And to help me deal with it I play
    video games, watch anime, draw, listen to music or talk to my mom (who
    is my best friend ^_^) and I also watch YouTube videos like yours!!

    You are all amazing people, I’m glad I found you and I hope to have the pleasure of meeting you someday.
    Blessings to all the EYK crew, I love you guys!
    ^o^

    3 years ago
  131. Simon and Martina, I am sending loads of positive thinking, energy, and all, ALL positive things to you and to Spudgy. I had dogs who lived for SIXTEEN YEARS … all that positiveness (if that is a word) to Spudgy, so he lives as long as my dogs have!!!

    3 years ago
  132. Two things: First, holy hell, you scared the shit out of me with the brain tumor thing. Oh my god. I’m SO happy it turned out negative, seriously! I’m happy you’re all well.
    Second, I’ve noticed you haven’t had the best experiences with Tumblr, which makes me super sad, because it’s, like, my favorite place in the whole world. The atmosphere is so welcoming and loving that it really surprised me when I saw all the shit you were getting there. I kind of understand where they were coming from, because fanfics are such a touchy subject for the authors (understandably), but it really bummed me out when I saw people giving you undeserved shit. Well my point is, I hope you haven’t lost all hope in it, because it really is the most wonderful place normally.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, you’re awesome :)

    3 years ago
  133. To destress I sing. Sing whatever you want, sing at the top of your lungs, or really badly lol. It really just helps me so much. After a day like to day (I’ve been studying since 7am, it’s now getting closer to 1am), I am belting out Kpop and Jpop songs to make all that stress go away and relish the fact I’VE FINISHED ALL MY STUDY!! and this is my reward :D

    3 years ago
  134. To all of you-

    I don’t think this post could have come at a better time. Relating back to what Martina said, I’ve been having a “SCREW TODAY” kind of day, and I even wrote a status on Facebook that went something along the lines of “screw today and all the days after it”. I was sour about having to pick up more hours at work than I wanted because my coworker went on maternity leave, I’m stressed because of not being eligible for financial aid next year since my mom apparently makes too much money as a single teacher, and worried because the electricity in my house is getting shut off tomorrow. This, on top of the struggles I’ve been having trying to get my license and the family issues going on between my mother’s and father’s families.

    I may have said way more than I needed to, but what I’m trying to get at is that this blog and video helped me in so many ways- more ways than I ever though possible. I’m so glad you all decided to share pieces of your lives with us, and it amazes me how from a different corner of the world you still try to connect with all us Nasties who may be close by or very far away.

    Martina’s insight on the Angry Bird visual and Simon’s insights on being able to determine what’s really worth stressing over has made me see my issues from a new perspective. And Leigh’s insight helped me, a student myself who also works part time. I was always so worried about makin the grade and doing my best that I lost sight of who I am, and I forgot that these things don’t determine my worth as a human being.

    So thank you, all of you!

    3 years ago
  135. I’ve got lots of tricks up my sleeve for dealing with stress because I’d go off the deep end if I didn’t.

    Morning Routine – My morning routine is absolutely essential to give me some sense of structure and consistency. Getting up and making my bed every day right away, doing some light exercising, and meditating really go a long ways in keeping me afloat.

    Sensory Stuff – I find one of the best ways for me to destress is touch. So I love giving myself hugs, hugging a stuffed animal, giving my head a massage with one of those octopus thingies, or stroking my body lightly with my fingertips (sounds so nasty but feels so good)! Gently thumping a fist in the middle of my chest can also be very comforting and grounding. Or alternately tapping one hand and then the other on my each of my legs.

    Music – I, like Martina, have a couple feel-good playlists up and ready to go. I especially like K-pop, Bollywood soundtracks, and gospel music for such purposes. Dancing is an absolute must as well!

    Thought intervention – Sometimes I have little phrases that I like to say to myself to cheer myself on or to comfort myself and remind me I’m not always going to feel a certain way. Also, asking questions like “What can I focus on instead?” or “How can I be a better friend to myself right now?” can reroute my line of thinking too. A really powerful thing I’ve found is remembering that everyone has stress, has had difficult life experiences, and I’m not so special. I can be a real drama queen at times and broadening the picture and thinking of humanity as a whole cuts my stress down significantly.

    Misc – ASMR videos are fabulous. As is spending time in nature, be that on my balcony or going to a park for a walk. And finally, sometimes you just need to throw a temper tantrum Rumpelstiltskin style and flail, jump up and down, scream, and/or cry (all of this preferably alone lol)!

    3 years ago
    • Along the same lines: this winter I put together a dance playlist (617 songs!) of mostly k-pop, Bollywood and middle-eastern pop music — with a little Chipmunks for good measure. Some days, it made all the difference.

      3 years ago
  136. Wow. I’m currently churning out and finalizing three assignments that are due tomorrow and have a mid-term exam on Saturday. I really needed this. Thank you so much.

    As someone that lives with severe manic-depression and anxiety, I see a lot of what Martina said in regards to the bird and the spiral in my life. To be honest, you guys have helped me through a lot of dark times and even kind of lightened the bulb at the end of the tunnel at the peak of my eating disorder too (that’s a whole different story though). I’m so grateful for the positivity you pour into everyone’s lives in a matter of a few minutes each week and I want you to know that no matter what happens to you guys, we’ll always love and be grateful for you. From hundreds of different locations across the globe.

    Good luck and hope all goes well in your lives.

    3 years ago
  137. Thanks guys! I love this video. :) I love how it shows a more human side of you guys. Does that sound odd? I think you are normal people in some ways, which is why your videos are so easy to relate to, but sometimes you kinda seem like superheroes too with how many different things you do and document for all of us. It is nice to hear about your day to day worries and how you deal with them. Love your show! :)

    As for how I deal with stress, the first thing is my music player. I bought this totally cheap player a few months back and loaded it up with hours of upbeat western and k-pop music so I could stop listening to all the slow, depressing songs the radio here likes to play over and over. It has made such a big difference in my attitude and how good I feel each day…even if my co-workers now think I am weird for listening to foreign music…as they blast their latino stuff….

    The other huge thing that helps pick me up is thinking about my dog. I have a loving German Shepard/Shar Pei mix at home who loves to jump on me and lick my face when I get home every day. No matter what happens during the day, I know there is unconditional love waiting for me at my front door.

    3 years ago
  138. I think another reason who we sometimes get so bogged down and lose our positivity is because we are our worst critics and analyzers. I know I am so guilty of this on a regular basis, especially as a teacher. If a lesson I put my heart into developing totally tanks or my students are having an off day in their behavior, rather than saying that maybe the students weren’t ready for the concept or that they’re bouncing off the walls because of all the candy they chowed down on at lunch, I turn on myself and begin to feel like a really sucky teacher and person. I would feel so disappointed in myself as a person because I was not being this awesome educator that I had idealized in my head. I was so bad at that when I first got into the classroom 8 years ago, but I find myself [thankfully] doing that less and less because I’ve learned to let things go a little. I find that for every moment where I think I’ve failed at being perfect, then I add a moment of intentional imperfection. Whether it be wearing totally whacky clothes to work or stopping in the middle of what I’m doing and having a dance party, if I can fall into those moments where I just don’t give a flying fig about being perfect then I feel better about my imperfections. In fact, random dance parties have become a staple in my classroom and the kids love it because even 10yr olds get super stressed and need to unwind every once in a while. I’m never going to be Miss Frizzle or Principal Joe Clark, but being there for my kids day in and day out is all that matters…and that in turns creates lots of moments for positivity.

    3 years ago
  139. I am waiting for my application results and I am trying not to go batshit crazy since I did not do well for my FYP last year,the one thing that will cause me to break down from stress is probably school related stuff

    3 years ago
  140. I really enjoyed this TLDR :) I think being positive comes with acceptance of the bad stuff. I am a person who is easily affected by those around me, and to ward that off, I keep a positivity jar! I started it last October and this October, I will open it and read out all the positive things that I had during the year! I can also open it if I have a horrible day and I need some self cheering up! (WHOO INDEPENDENT!) I also have a day by day calendar that has pugs on it (they make me so happy, I cry watching pug videos) and whenever there is a day that has a REALLY cute pug, I say to myself, OK what happened today that was positive and I think back on it and write it on the back of the paper, fold it up (pug side facing out, duh) and put it in my jar so I can not only remember the happy thought but also that PUG! :D I like hearing all of the life advice you guys give, it gives me as a college student HOPE!

    3 years ago
  141. This was just what I needed right now. I’m dealing with PR applications, health issues, and money stress.

    I already know I need to manage my stress and think positive, it’s just the DOING part that’s hard.
    I bookmarked this blog post so I can come back to it to remind me of everything you guys put and to remind me I’m not the only stressing about big things.
    Thanks guys. You rock!
    <3

    3 years ago
  142. This might sound very childish, but whenever I need cheering up, I hug my teddy bears xD It’s surprising how a hug and a cry can make you feel better. Sometimes you just gotta let it all out. And then when it’s all out, think of ways to solve the problem. I’ve been feeling really sucky at the moment with job hunting and being turned down for jobs. I like to think that every experience is a life lesson. And maybe these things happen for a reason. Other ways to feel happy; listen to happy tunes, watch comedies, watch youtube videos, especially yours! play a game. And if all this fails at making me feel better, I just have a nice cup of tea. Everything feels better after a nice cup of tea! :3

    3 years ago
    • You’re right about the happy tunes; that’s why I’m into k-pop. With a history of clinical depression, I have always struggled to stay positive. Fortunately, I have a job that allows me to listen to music — and several years ago, I discovered that happy music like Bollywood or k-pop really had a great impact on my mood. I’ve been off medications and more social and progressing in life because of songs like Nagada Nagada (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl-if7RmEcs) & Fantastic Baby (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAbokV76tkU)…. Plus tea!

      3 years ago
  143. I know when I am really stressed or angry, I usually end up in my room on mt bed curled up with my favorite book with my favorite music going. It works tremendously.

    Also I agree with rewarding yourself to give you something to look forward to. Like yesterday, I still had a lot of college work to do. I have two tests, that usually take about two hours to complete that I have to take each twice(luckily the second attempts only take about 30 mins to complete.), two additional works for the same class. Yesterday also happened to be the release for the newest book in one of my favorite searies, So I told my self (since I was buying the book anyways and no one and nothing would stop me) that as soon as I finished all my work, I could relax and read my book. And that’s what I did. It made it less stressful to be laboriously doing all of this work with happiness at the end than it would have been doing all of this work without having something to cheer me up.

    You don’t always have to buy something, it can be as simple as reading, and listening to music.

    3 years ago
  144. I recently moved to Vietnam from America to spend time with my husbands family, start learning Vietnamese, and get to know the culture here while he finishes the last few months of his college degree back in the USA (I was working at walmart, but can make way more money for graduate school here in Asia). I had been to Vietnam before and love it. Despite being in my favorite place in the world, I am incredibly sad and lonely. And then I become disappionted in myself because Im sad and lonely in my favorite place and it generally just spirals down into a gloom and doom nosedive until the finale of crying fest or binge eating oreos (or, if IM really sad, both).

    I have struggled with depression in the past, so I know a few things that help me threw when the times get low, but recently, since we have been seperated, its been harder and harder to drown out the angry bird on my shoulder (that fucker gets so damn loud). I already have a calendar (in the USA we call them agendas) and that helps because I highlight tasks when Ive completed them, and I have a countdown until my husband and I are back together (34 days after almost 6 very long months). I will add some of these other ideas on the anti-depression train. Thanks :)

    I hope Martina’s ear gets better <3

    3 years ago
    • I totally know that feelz.

      Once I had to go to NYC for work for 2 months and being away from my fiance was just…….horrible beyond words, especially since I’d just been in a horrific car accident and was having nightmares every night. I was working long hours in a bad part of town so I didn’t really get to tour around much to distract myself. I made a paper chain with a link for every day (like for x-mas) so that I could countdown until I would get to go home. I thought that it would help me have something to look forward to (just like x-mas) but to be honest, it seemed to make the wait even more excruciating the closer I got to the end.

      Since then my husband has gone on some work trips of even longer length, and I have changed my methods. Having something to look forward to is good, focusing on the length of that time and the fact that you are *forced* to wait by circumstance instead of necessity(when you know you could just hop a plane instead of committing suicide out of sadness) is counterproductive, I’ve found. Better to focus on talking to or writing to or skyping with your loved one every day and counting down in the background. This way, you keep the positive association with your loved one, instead of letting that angry bird anywhere near them and you are able to express your love and positive emotions every day without having to hold everything inside (since sometimes you can’t talk about it to anyone) and you will feel more open about talking to your loved one about any bad things or feelings and therefore, the relationship will stay healthy, even at a distance. If you find yourself sniping over little things, give it a try. ^_^v

      3 years ago
  145. This is a very interesting topic, especially because I am dealing with stress and anxiety almost every day, for one year now. What I like to do to relieve it, is to walk and take my time. My university is located in a forest, so everytime I can, I prefer to walk than take the bus for example. If I’m really stressed, I sit on the couch, watching tv, with my cockatiel on my lap, or I draw, and that relax me :) And if I am really angry, I let everything go: I scream, I talk to myself saying that I hate that and that; and then I feel better (and I sound like a mad woman xD)

    There are a lot of ways to relieve stress and anger actually, but the most important thing of all is to rid off of all the people that make you feel angry (not permanently, but if you feel that this person irritates you, try to avoid him/her until you’re calmer.)

    Anyway, thank you for sharing all that with us. :D

    And one of the best motto ever: “Don’t worry, be happy!” ;)

    3 years ago
  146. I don’t enjoy being stressed or getting too angry. The only time I do get angry is when people do something that really annoys me, but it’s normally performed by people I hate.

    It’s stress time at University and yeah, I feel it too. However, it’s not as bad as last semester where I broke down and I just felt confused on why I chose my degree (Political Science) and stressed about the amount of work that was piled on me. What I did to reduce the stress is play some “background noise” when I worked on papers. It’s a bunch of episodess that I downloaded to allow me to focus on papers. There’s Adventure time episodes, the entire Hetalia series, and 2 movies. The noise helps me to focus because in my mind, I know what is going on in the videos, so I don’t need to go to the video to watch what’s going on. Also, I can’t stand silence when working. I start getting distracted if it’s too silent. So a loop of videos helps me to focus by playing noise to help me focus.

    I also triy not to think too much about the stress. I thought that if I can get all my work done, I can go to sleep. Yeah… I went multiple days sleeping 5 hours or less a day… I know it’s not healthy, but I get a lot of work and ideas down at night and as long as I don’t do this the night before an exam, it’s fine.

    I think this video and blog posts should be at universities to help students calm down.

    3 years ago
  147. I was actually having a mental breakdown just before I watched this video.
    I have a tendency to procrastinate whenever I feel like that, but for once in my life I’m glad I procrastinated. My procrastination brought me to YouTube where I saw a video titled “How We Stay Positive” accompanied by a beautiful and motivational blog post that made me feel so much more relaxed. Thank you Simon and Martina for your awesomeness.
    I love you!!

    3 years ago
  148. You guys really inspired me to stay positive. Life is really hard and sad at times. But you literally gave me hope and inspiration to keep going and appreciate life more!

    Martina please be okay! You are such a wonderful person! We nasties love you!
    Thank you for this video and post
    Thank you <3

    3 years ago
  149. I don’t really do anything to keep myself being positive :/ I guess I should start working on that XD
    Usually if I’m happy, I’m happy. If I’m sad- I’m sad. and I never figured I could alter those feeling/states.
    But I tend to collapse from pressure from time to time. Anxiety and fear overtakes me and I end up being scared to leave home or enter the classroom. And if that doesn’t change in 3 days this is what I do: I overdose on movies. Usually really grim ones. That completely drain me emotionally and physically. I keep watching movies for a day or two, then feel super stingy and on the edge for the rest of the 2nd day. but on the following morning I fell all energetic, happy and ready for work and challenges again.
    I have no idea why it is so. I guess I just seriously burn out all the negative emotions for the time being and… I feel like I forcibly shut myself down (like a computer) and then after a night’s sleep turn back on smoothly.

    3 years ago
  150. Well, I think I’m gonna buy the diary-calendary-scheduler myself cause it sounds pretty good to me and we’ve been always drawing something in my friend’s so… I want it! :D

    My problem isn’t actually cheering myself up because usually I can have fun with everything and everywhere :D But I reeeaaallly can’t get myself to work because of that! Whenever I want to start working or studying, I find totally different stuff to do, so instead of studying for damn ass important exam, I’m cleaning up, doing the dishes, dancing, trying out clothes, working out and everything else that didn’t do before… but not studying -__- And I just can’t help it. I either start learning late at night or don’t start at all… How to deal with that?

    3 years ago
  151. I spend a lot of my day indoors. And whenever I start to dwell on how wrong I think my life is going I just go for a walk. I go to the awesome pastry around the corner. Somehow just being on a bench on a park or at a esplanade soaking in the sun has a way to put everything in perspective to me. I agree with many things you guys said, thanks for the video and very detailed blog post. BTW thanks for the tips Leigh, that thing about setting a goal to start seems great.

    3 years ago
  152. Wan

    Hey guys, thanks so much for making this video and writing everything down as well. I’m really glad you’re all healthy! :) I’m a freshman in college right now and a premed, so sometimes I get really down about the years and years of school that I have left (I want to be a neurologist), finances, exams, and being away from family and many friends. But it’s so important to appreciate just being alive and the things that we do have. I really liked Martina’s 3 categories of anger; it makes me realize how much we just have to let things go. (LET IT GO, LET IT GOOOOOO) There’s just so much unnecessary stress that we can generate through negative thoughts. Yay for small things like good coffee, pretty trees, and good books/fanfiction! I’m glad you guys are staying positive! :D

    3 years ago
  153. Woah, my heart just dropped when I read about Martina’s hearing loss. I’m so glad it’s not a brain tumor.
    I believe I’m a pretty positive person, some of your tricks I do too. Personally, I believe that if you can appreciate the small things in life, to savor the moment of everything, life is really much happier. Like enjoying a cup of tea or eating something after you’re really hungry. Just be grateful and thankful for everything. That’s what I personally live by.

    I believe this blog post will save some lives one day. Some people need these tips. Thank you for sharing these things with us. <3 Love you guise even more now~ <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

    3 years ago
    • I felt the same way. I actually assumed I read that wrong and re-read the entire paragraph.

      Simon and Martina – you guys are amazing, beautiful people who make me laugh any time I watch your videos. I work a stressful job and I watch your clips (even old ones) during my lunch break when I need to unwind. It works! I hope Martina regains full hearing (to fully appreciate the music when Big Bang releases their next album this summer) and I sincerely wish you both of you super duper amounts of happiness!

      3 years ago
    • Same thing is happening to me. I’ve lost some of my hearing in my right ear. I go for my MRI scan in two weeks time.

      My doctor told me though that the cause of this being cancer is very unlikely. We’re talking 0.0001% chance here. The MRI is really just to make sure it isn’t. Perhaps some better doctor bedside manner could have been used here to alleviate the stress!

      3 years ago
      • Yeah, we’ve had a few experiences with Doctors in Korea giving us the worst diagnosis without any…umm…gentleness? I once had a doctor tell me I had to have surgery in half an hour or I was going to die. Then they ran another test. The surgery wasn’t needed. Then they gave me a needle to the ass and sent me home.

        3 years ago
        • Korean doctors can be a bit blunt. I once had one tell me when I was 18 I wouldn’t live to see 25. (See earlier post). Who does that?!

          3 years ago
        • If this is the case Martina, then I suggest that you don’t give up getting your ear problem diagnosed. I have no idea how likely EDS is to have caused your hearing loss but there should be some kind of proof that the blockage is there, whatever has caused it. An MRI checking for a brain tumour would totally not include looking at your ears. Either an x-ray or even better, a CAT scan of your ear should be able to show what is wrong, even if it doesn’t show why, don’t let the doctors be lazy. A lot of doctors (even in Canada) overlook the Eustachian tubes but if these get blocked up, you will not be able to hear, even if your ear itself is perfectly fine. Keep fighting! Good Luck!

          I find that in the last bunch of years my right E.tube gets plugged up from time to time(I don’t know why – maybe because I haven’t been able to see my chiropractor any more and my body got dependent on the ultrasound treatment that was supposed to be for my neck/jaw) but now I just head right for the aspirin and soft ice pack and lie down on the pack with it right below my ear, all the way down my neck. Over repeated applications (on 10 minutes, off 10 minutes, on 10 minutes) and time, it helps. If it’s really bad, it can take days. A tipoff for me to get out the ice is that my jaw hurts on one side and that the tendon in my neck that runs from the point between my ear and my jaw down to my collarbone is very stiff. I don’t know if this helps, but (barring any special EDS conditions) putting ice on your neck can’t hurt. Just check out the camping supplies for cheap soft ice packs, or a bag of frozen peas/corn (I just find that the vegetables smell weird after several uses).

          3 years ago
        • Maybe you have firsthand experience with this now, but would you say doctors in Korea are more likely to not report possible fatal conditions? I’ve heard they tend to just not tell people they have cancer if it’s a particularly aggressive form that can’t be treated.

          3 years ago
    • My heart dropped as well. I can’t deal with ANOTHER of my inspirations being diagnosed (Charles Trippy). <3 you Martina!

      3 years ago
  154. This is a topic that’s right up my alley! I’m a really positive person, like, so positive that I’ve only gotten angry once in my whole 21 years of living. I’m not even joking. I look at it like if you stay positive, you’re optimism and sincerity will rub off on someone and make their day better. I don’t have any tips and tricks to help people stay positive because it was engrained in my head since I was a young impressionable youngin to always be positive and happy. But I believe that laughing once a day can really boost your mood and relieve your stress and also finding something to smile genuinely at (you know, one of those smile-until-your-cheeks-hurt, where-did-my-eyes-go, hey-look-I’ve-got-healthy-gums sort of smiles) can really make you feel good. I also take a drive around town and blast feel-good music when I’m having a bad day! :)

    Hopefully this helped some…? I don’t know, but it’s how I relieve stress! :)

    3 years ago
  155. This may sound odd but recently I have found that listening to Benedict Cumberbatch’s voice really calms me down when I get stressed or frustrated especially at work. It’s so smooth, articulate and calming, even when he’s being villainous, that I just natural find myself at ease. Plus I love that man Or just watch this for a good laugh:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNPp74zh8lM

    3 years ago
  156. I just graduated college but the last year has been constant 6am-2am schedule between full-time class, part-time work, part-time interning and graduating projects. I had a daily planner that had doodles, colors and all kinds of things that did make it a little better. Most of my ‘treating’ was watching a movie (but being a film major that’s kind like homework anyway). And when I was feeling down, I’d cuddle my kitty cat because he’s always in a good mood. But even that was jeopardized recently because in the middle of all my chaos already going on, he got very sick and I had to spend many many hours I didn’t have to take him to the vet. It worked out in the end but just added to the stress I already had. Not to sound lame but since I would only have a few quick minutes of my day to spend as ‘free time’ via on the bus or waiting for renders to complete, I’d watch EYK videos. It really got me through my day and the craziness of the past year.

    3 years ago
  157. Thanks so much for this, you guys! :)

    3 years ago
  158. Thank you. Seriously. For this site, for this post, for sharing your lives, experiences and thoughts with us. It means so much not just to me, but to all of us here. I feel like we all must matter a lot to you since you not only go out of your way to make us laugh but to help us live better lives. Seriously, I mean that.
    I am no stranger to dark places and your advice is good stuff. Two goods for each bad means your mental tally sheet is always in the positive. Other people who are happy and playing balls will usually share their happiness with you, even if it’s just in letting you see them smile. MAKE time for happy things. Y’all are so smart.
    Another good one, most everything is survivable but EVERYTHING is thrive-able. Be careful who and what you let live rent-free in your head. Don’t let unworthy people be in charge of who are. When in doubt, Mr. Rogers always has the answers about life and stress and happiness.

    3 years ago
  159. I was so angry and stressed out yesterday and I honestly couldn’t function at all. I couldn’t even look at my homework let alone actually sit down, think, and work on it. I find that when your angry/stressed taking a walk really helps. Yesterday the sun was shining, and I walked down the big hill that’s near my house, I had mellow music playing in the background, and the air was so clean and fresh and spring like that it made me feel a lot better. Second, while this may not be the best but ranting really helps. It helps a lot to get a big load off your chest whether that’s through writing or talking to a friend. I’m just mindful that the friends I rant to I know that I willingly listen to when they have a bad day too. Finally, a good night’s sleep is the key. I had a horrible day, I decided to sleep early. A full night of sleep and I wake up feeling so refreshed, and I think to myself “why was I even angry in the first place?”
    Anyways, I really really enjoyed this video, and the cherry blossoms in Korea look beautiful! I wish Toronto High Park’s cherry blossoms would come sooner!

    3 years ago
  160. Incredibly happy to know that you (both!) are healthy and well, after such a scary time.

    3 years ago
  161. Martina hun, I know how you feel. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression for many years now and whilst at the moment I feel like I’m in a good place, the past couple of years have been a real struggle and have had to drag myself from many pits of despair.

    Similar to your rewarding system, a tip I learned from a cognitive behavioural therapist I saw was to always have something that you can look forward to when you’re feeling blue, whether that be meeting up with a friend, treating yourself to your favourite drink at a coffee shop or going seeing that band you’ve always wanted to see.

    I really enjoyed this week’s TL;DR and will definitely be putting your tips and tricks to good use in future.

    Love you all x

    3 years ago
  162. This really made my day, thank you all so much :)

    3 years ago
  163. Firstly, I can’t possibly think of a better timing for this video. I am having one of THOSE days, forgot my wallet home, my favourite mug broke today and even the weather is horrible as well (though that is kind of usual since I’m in the UK) so I can’t go jogging, which also works. What I usually do to break the bad mood is have a nice cup of tea… but however that is now impossible, I would go buy some chocolate (yes, the cliché lives), seeing how I can’t do that either I find that Leigh’s idea of taking it easy is useful. Thank you!

    3 years ago
  164. guiseeee it means a lot for you guys to share and talk about something like this. personally going through my own qualms with depression and what not- it was really uplifting to hear you guys talk about it. since i’ve been watching you guys regularly for YEARS, I feel really close with you. I know it doesn’t necessarily call for it, but I started spilling tears reading Martina’s portion just because it spoke to me big time. So thank you guys for lifting my spirits up throughout the week <3 best wishes and lots of love <3 <3

    3 years ago
  165. Nothing like finding a new EYK video after a long day of work to put a smile on our faces.

    3 years ago
  166. As a senior student at the University of Toronto about to write her finals, this video came as a surprise and encouragement. Not sure why you guys decided to post this now but thanks! Especially for Leigh’s blurb there. School is the source of all lifes problems (science major at UofT anyone??) So thanks for that!!!

    3 years ago
  167. i call my diary/calendar/scheduler a planner haha! and i buy korean stationary (so my planners, stickers for it and pens) cos they’re so cuuuuute and make me feel happy!!
    after intense days of doing work to meet deadlines, on the day i hand it in i like to go buy a slice of cake or a cupcake! heehee!!
    and when i feel sad or really, really crappy i like to listen to loud kpop music ahaha!!
    also a way for me to de-stress and relax is to practice calligraphy!! i love it so much!! (just today i bought different coloured inks for my pen yay!)
    oh and SHINee….these guys really help me at times!! ^_^

    MARTINA!!!!!!!!! oh my gosh i’m so glad you’re okay and it’s nothing too serious!

    3 years ago
  168. Im a really calm person most days, but sometimes I get stressed with lack of time, which I actually have, I just don’t “see” it. So I had the need to find something which made me stay positive, happy and relaxed. When I need to calm down, I grab my bike, ride it to the beach at sunset and just sit in the sand looking at the ocean.
    Surfing is also one of my favorite things to do, among other sports. My head just disconnects from everything else
    and it’s better than therapy, I can guarantee you that.
    On cold winter days, I grab my favorite cup of tea, a great book and some soothing music and I morph into a puddle of relaxation.

    3 years ago
  169. my tried and true technique for when it all gets too much is to call my mom. i just dump everything that happened, from the big things to stupid annoyances [like people doing my pet peeves] until there’s nothing left. this also generally involves some crying on my end, and by the time i’ve finished unloading my problems [and several liters of snot and eye water] i feel way better. it’s hard to be sad when you can’t cry anymore.
    that and cute things. insta joy.

    3 years ago
  170. I really needed this today. Ya’ll always make me smile. Thanks for being the sunshine on YouTube :)

    3 years ago
  171. Hey guys! Loved the post, just because the day apparantly is awful doesn’t mean that we should feel that way.

    3 years ago
  172. Ian

    I really enjoy Leigh’s insights on the aspect that our grades don’t make up who we are. I’m finishing my degree over here in Ontario and I’m surrounded by people who are scrambling around terrified thinking that the marks will be with them forever: They won’t! Just as Simon mentions momentary frustrations that you can walk away from, grades are momentary stress-factors that will actually walk away from you because they will end up having less significance in the future when you have your degree. The degree won’t have your marks printed out all over it before your name, it’ll say “Name” has received a degree in whatever you studied. Cheers for the awesome words and great tips to keep positive guys! I’ll certainly be using some of them in the future! :)

    3 years ago
    • You’re still called “doctor” whether you got an A or a C in medical school :)

      3 years ago
  173. Hi guys! Let’s see if I’m first again :P I’ll go watch ur video now, hahahhah

    3 years ago