July 18, 2014
Ok so this was shot aaages ago! Look at me without a beard! When I look back on those videos I feel like I look like a child. How did anyone ever serve me alcohol without ID’ing me? Eeepers. Now I look old and haggard. *chest thumps* UNGH!
Anyhow, baby me and adult Martina, along with Josh and Ollie from the ultra popular KoreanEnglishMan shot some videos with us. But first, a story:
See, Josh was the one that suggested eating Hongeo on video. Hongeo is quite possibly the worst thing I’ve ever eaten in my entire life. And this isn’t something I need to be afraid of saying. I know whenever we say something slightly negative about anything Korean the ultra-patriots come out and call us Yankees and say we should go home, but – for once – 99% of Koreans can agree with me: Hongeo isn’t tasty. It’s fermented stingray. It urinates through its skin. And it tastes like you’re eating a tire dipped in beach and spunk. It’s supposed to make your alcohol taste better, but SCREW THAT! No alcohol is worth going through the pain of eating Hongeo.
So, when he suggested we eat that, we suggested that we do something relevant: they’ll eat the ultra nasty (not in the nice, OOH YOU SO NASTY kinda way) and we’ll eat the ultra delicious. Namely, Softree Ice Cream. It’s really popular in Korea. Everyone’s ripped it off. It’s just basic softserve ice cream, but with a honeycomb on top. Two problems with the honeycombs: a) they’re not real honeycombs but flavoured wax and b) they’re all sold out from being so popular. That’s why you don’t see us eat the actual honeycomb. It’s just unavailable now, it’s that popular.
That’s it for our story about the ice cream. It’s a pretty lame story. We tried to get it but couldn’t. Our mics died. And we were rushed. So, the video’s not that great. Their video, though, is a lot better than ours, simply because it’s funnier at how bad our meal was.
Good god: so much stuff happened when eating Hongeo with them. For starters, we were the first group of white people the restaurant ever served. They told us that foreigners sometimes get dragged in by their coworkers, but not once, in the decade that they’ve been working, have a group of foreigners gone there of their own volition. Woohoo! The chef was so amazed that he decided it’d be best to share all the info he can on Hongeo. And so, on our table, as we barely ate and gagged profusely (it’s honestly that bad), the chef brings over a gotdamned bucket. Pops the lid off. Starts pulling out all the stingray carcasses he has on him. He’d point to different parts “See here! This is a female stingray! Here’s the vagina! I’ll make soup out of her ovaries!” It was so foul smelling, and the guy was so passionate, and we were so queasy and barely hanging in there, that I found it comedic. Hilarious. It was so bad and awkward and inappropriate that I couldn’t but find it hilarious.
Also, Ollie threw up while eating. It’s really that bad. He literally threw up while eating. Not for fun. Not to exaggerate. But you just can’t chew on the food. It’s so dense you can’t bite through it. We covered it up with a napkin as quickly as possible but…man. Try to keep on eating when someone upchucked on the table.
Momma didn’t raise no fool, though. I ate my first piece: my second piece I sneakily hid into my napkin. The hell I want to eat more than one piece for?!?! I just pretended to chew quickly and swallow. But it was a filthy, filthy lie. But at least I didn’t eat two pieces of it.
Yeah! So that’s it for this week. We’ve got some bloopers and extra scenes if you want to check out
We’ve been on a bit of a collaborative spree lately. We still have our videos with MyChonny and WongFu to edit. Hopefully those’ll be up soon. Don’t miss out on them by clicking on this pretty button below!
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