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COMMENTS

One of the things we discussed before filming this topic was how impressed we were with the specificity of some of the qualities of an ideal man. Really, if you had to describe your ideal type, would you talk about his schooling and salary and job and work hours and habits? Isn’t it more like “I’d like someone tall and swarthy, maybe in a band, who loves cooking as much as I do.” Right? No? I’m not sure. Maybe your list of details is a bit longer than that, but probably not as long as this list here:

Now, let’s talk about this blog post before we give you Soo Zee’s translation of it: not everyone holds these standards, of course. This was a fairly popular blog post when it came out that satirizes how picky Korean girls can be. It both highlights the absurdity of these demands, but also the pressures that men face in meeting women’s expectations. Here’s a screenshot of the blog post. Now that I come to think of it, why didn’t I ask Soo Zee for the URL? I’ll ask her as soon as we get into the studio today.

And now for the list. Guys, even if this list is a parody, if you nail all of these qualities you’re pretty much the perfect man, regardless of what country you’re from. Girls here are looking for:

—–
A guy who has salary of over 100million KRW, and is over 180cm tall. There must be no bald people in the family tree. He must like sports and has a buff body, as well as a great fashion sense. He must have a cheerful and bright personality. He must never loose his temper and be polite. Should have a charming smile and be great at sex. Should come from a wealthy family that has at least 3 billion KRW to their name. He must have graduated from SKY, and have a great job that starts at 9 and finishes at 6, only 5 days a week.

He should help out with the house chores. He should be able to drink more than 2 bottles of soju but also not enjoy drinking. Should be a great cook, enjoy music, and also be a great singer. Should be great at fixing stuff around the house. Should have a religion but not be too devoted, and drive very carefully and be neat and tidy.

His score should be higher than 850 in TOEIC, and he should also speak a bit of Japanese. Should have studied abroad for language, be the only child of his parents and his parents should live far from Seoul. The parents should occasionally visit, maybe once a year. The parents should also prefer lighter memorial services for their ancestors during Chuseok and Seollal.

He should give gifts on every anniversary, and have great taste. He should be honest and should be able to play both the piano and the guitar. He should be great with managing his finances and should listen to what women say. Should both like kids and be great with kids, should like reading books, like to go shopping with his wife and not mind being the driver, and should hold his wife’s shopping bags when they shop, then go to coffee shops together and gossip together and also read through women’s magazines together. Should also text and call often when they’re apart.

The guy should have female friends but know to drew the line between friends and women. Should like to travel. Don’t splurge, gamble, smoke, or be sickly. Should have gone to the army and have a great sense of humor. Should be romantic and be able to swim well, have 눈치 (which is a loaded Korean word for “awareness,” kinda). Should be a great writer and know how to paint. He should also be very humble, very social, and yet have leadership skills at the same time. He should be great with seniors and also have a bit of aegyo in him, while also being handsome, and also good to his inlaws and the rest of his wife’s family. He should also be kind and bold enough to dance naked if the wife says so. And he should forgive his wife IF she cheats on him.
——

Holy hell that was intense. I’m basing this off of SooZee’s translation, and I’m not sure if Soo Zee’s style was just jotting things down randomly, but the way that it’s written and not clearly organized into categories makes it seem so overwhelming, like “you should do this AND be this AND do this AND have done this AND do this ANDANDANDANDANDANDAND”.” Or maybe I’m just too busy English lit analyzing this. I don’t know. I was overwhelmed reading it.

Again, if men don’t meet these standards, it’s not like they’re outcasts and never get girls. Only so many people can get into the SKY universities. A LOT of men smoke. Not everyone has lived abroad. And I don’t know that many people pulling in over 100k a year while working reasonable hours. If everyone were held to these standards, then only, like, three people would be able to date.

But that’s also not to say that these standards are irrelevant. They do go into a lot of people’s considerations. We had a Korean friend who, when we asked her about her boyfriend and what he’s like, the first things she said was that he wasn’t very good looking, a bit overweight, but he has a stable job. When we asked her more info, like – say – how well do they get along, or what do they do together, or what do they have in common, she was just like “yeah, we get along alright.”

From our perspective, it seems like there’s a lot more emphasis on economic stability than what we’re used to. We never talk to our friends back home about how successful their significant others are, or where they graduated. Or is that just us? Are these topics of conversation you’re used to having with your friends?

Yeah! I hope you found this video interesting. Subscribe if you want to see us do more TL;DRs. You’ll never miss one if you click on this pretty button right here!

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  1. In my understanding, your Korean friend would emphasize that her boyfriend “has” at least one condition of what people talk (as an ideal model of Korean man). It is a strong defense on her boyfriend from no matter what. This is how the list actually works to stop grading on her boyfriend.

    This may look like defending Korean culture, but I hate that list as well. Only somebody would like to literally follow those may be miserable. Mostly Korean sentences are not something literally directing meaning by itself. I read that it because Korean is pretty much verbal language while english is quiet literal language.(And constantly korean language is goring literal now.) Most of original Korean verbal sentences are not that literal.

  2. I KNEW IT! AS SOON AS YOU SAID “WHAT’S THE LOWEST FORM OF UNIVERSITY” I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE ART SCHOOOLLL AAAAAAUGGGGHH
    Soo Zee, I’m in art school. (If you couldn’t tell) Fist bump!
    By the way, the “charming smiles” made me nearly wee myself laughing.

  3. For me i am all about personalty and actually my ideal type is the art school type. Thats right i said it. So to all you art school students in korea i am waiting for you :P i do like artisy guys but really it doesn’t matter to me. I have to get along with him i know in the discution about ideal girls i said i would be a stay at home and want to. But seriously if i can’t it’s not the end of the world. I also i did say i would blind date and get married after 6 months to a year. however to all you korean guys i might agree to marry you after 6 months but remember this we are waiting a year like normal people. sorry to all the people who get married in 1 month or 2….. personally i think thats the dumbist thing you can do is get married and set up a wedding in one month. i find that totally impossible. My sister did it and i just looked at her like she was a nut case. She asked me to be in her wedding party and i wanted to but i just couldn’t get the money and time off work to go to Toronto and be at the wedding. So yea if i get married after knowing the guy for 6months to a year the person will have to wait at least another 6 months to a year before i say I DO thats my requirement for sure. other wise i like my skinny korean guys. :P

  4. Thanks for covering this topic.Now I see that it’s somewhat different in Korea than in Serbia:
    -one thing is kinda similar: women should look the best they can, men can look like short vine barrels , if they have money,or personality they can often pass. Women have to try harder.
    -women can work and raise kids,cook and clean beside 8 hours of work.
    -men can do all of those if they want to ,depending on the relationship,but overall are not expected to do anything beside work.
    -women are sometimes expected by their family not to divorce even if husband is violent ,drunkard or gambler,or all of it.Some still worry “what would neighbors think of it” if it happens.
    -there are gold-diggers as in any part of world
    -some women are still expected to be married around the age of 18.
    -men are mocked if woman is “the head of the family” and orders around/makes decisions
    -I believe that our saying “every hole finds it’s patch” is more or less accurate, because both rich and poor can find partner depending on how they act,are they clever enough or not,lazy or hardworking, etc. What university you graduated from may sound cool at first, but if you don’t earn enough for living and person you live with isn’t patient and/or don’t want to work,it’s a matter of time when you’ll be left/divorced. It can be all variety of situations because this country is a mix of many cultures,ethnicity, religions etc.
    -with the unemployment on the raise ,less people decide to get married and/or have kids.

  5. I know this list was a satire of what women want, but to publish it under the title ‘What’s the ideal Korean man’ because it was originally written in Korean is unfair. It’s what most woman want if they are a shallow and greedy!

    I don’t think it was fair to write one perspective based on ONE friend you have. As a Korean, I married my husband because we have similar interests and similar life outlooks. My parents who are strong traditional Koreans love my husband because he is a nice person, treats me well and sees how positive my life has become with him in it.

    Economic stability is not just a Korean phenomenon, just because you don’t recall talking to your friends about how successful their significant others are, or where they graduated. It may have just been that your social group did not discuss this or that they are not at that social stage to discuss these topics. There are heaps situations in movies (American, Australia etc) where people ask others which schools they went to and where they’re working, its a conversation starter for people to find similarity with each other!

    I don’t think you guys should make these types of posts, unless you make them light and short. There is a lot of bias in this, next time you should ask for opinions on the street and make a video. At least this way you’ll probably get a more accurate “Korean” outlook and a variety of answers, and not just from your limited experience that is shared with your 447k fans.

    No hate, just saying.

  6. This doesn’t sound like a husband but more like a robot.

    But isn’t it weird that the guys in dramas (not the lead guy but the “perfect guy” who never gets the girl) who have most of these qualities always end up alone? The girl never chooses the perfect guy but always the arrogant bad boy with the good heart.

  7. In the Netherlands, what you want to look for in a man or woman is skill in rescue swimming, as much of the country is below sealevel and when the dikes give this will come in handy.

  8. Makes me think of Austens Eliza Bennets comment “I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any”

    HOW can any person expect to match up to that exhaustive list?? O_o

  9. Lets see if I can meet “The super ultra Korean ideal manly but gentle MAN” man qualifications (Imagine I’m in a coffee shop with a Korean girl and she gave me this list…)

    Makes over 100 Million KRW… Nope, sorry. Over 180cm tall… Yep. No bald people in the family tree… Check. Cheerful and bright personality… Kinda. Never lose temper and be polite… Yes on the later – depends on the former. Charming smile…*shrug* you decide. Great in the sack… Well that’s just something we’re gonna have to find out now… Wealthy family with a ridiculous pile of money… forget it. Graduated from SKY… nope. Great 9 to 6 job… nuh-uh, I work overnights hun (for now).

    Helps out around the house… of course! Able to drink 2 bottles of soju but not enjoy drinking… yep (I actually don’t like drinking too much) Great cook… I’m working on that :) Enjoy Music… Yes. Great Singer…. eh. Great at fixing stuff… as long as it has a manual, lol. Has religion but not too devoted… uhh, i’m agnostic. Drives carefully… I try. Neat and Tidy… yeah…sure…

    Higher than 850 in TOEIC… well I do speak english fluently, does that count? a bit of Japanese? What do you mean by a bit? Studied abroad for another language? Would love to (with you of course :) ) Only child… yeah. Parents live far away from Seoul? well, yeah, but they would sure love to visit. Lighter memorial services? I don’t know what that is but I’m pretty sure my parents are up for it.

    Gifting on our anniversary? (sets date in google cal…) Of course! I like to think I have good taste, I am talking to you of course… Am I Honest? Yes (She probably thinks I’m lying though…) Can play guitar/piano? oh hell no. Can manage finances? yes. Do I listen to what women say? Yes. Do I like kids? yeah, if they are my kids… lol… (I kid, I kid) Am I great with kids? ahhhh… pass… I do like reading books. I’d go shopping with my wife, and i’ll also drive, but do I really have to hold all those damn bags? (I’ll probably get that mean >_> look right about now). Coffee shop? Sure, when? Gossip? yeah, sure. Womens Mags? Yeah.. okay… I guess? Text and call often, of course!

    Does have female friends but draws the line. Yes. Loves to travel? Definitely a yes all the way! Splurge? only on you hun. Gamble? Nope. Smoke? Nope. Sickly? Nope (I hate germs, clean all the things!) Have gone to the army… I don’t think I can (more on that later) Great sense of humor? I’d like to think so. Romantic? yes (I’m a sucker for that to be honest). Able to swim well? yeah… sure. Has awareness? I guess? Great writer and painter? I can write but I’m sure as hell can’t paint for my life (unless we’re talking about finger painting, lol). Am I humble? (Well, I know this is a trick question, since if I do admit this, that may be seen as being arrogant. However, if I say no, she may think less of me…. hmm…) Well, I am doing this, right? Social? Kinda… I may need those 2 bottles of soju first. Leadership skills? Yeah. Good with seniors? Yes. Has aegyo whilst being handsome? (hmm…) *breaks off a peppro stick into two, puts the sticks in mouth like teeth and does the BUING BUING motion* Was that too much…? Good to his inlaws? yeah, of course.

    Able to be kind enough and bold enough to dance naked if the wife says so? Are you sure about that? *girl nods head* *sighs* well, not in public of course… but I may need that third bottle of soju just in case…

    Will I be able to forgive my wife IF she cheats on him? (Is she seriously asking me this question? Seriously? Not sure if trolling or serious… Quick Michael!… Say SOMETHING!) Nope… well okay, maybe… she’ll have to do something for me to gain my trust again. Something that really shows me that she is willing to be faithful and not do this to me again. Otherwise, forget it.

    Now with all that being said, there is something I do have to say… I’m actually not Korean…

    *Watches girl panic, grabs her purse and checks her phone. She texts her friend and suddenly gets a phone call. Watches her mumble some Korean and sees her put the phone down back into the purse*

    “OPPA! I have to go and uh… help my mom out… yeah, that!”
    But isn’t your mom overseas?
    “Oh, I mean my sister, yeah… my sister ^_^ … I’ll text you later, ANNYEONG!”
    *watches her bolt out of the coffee shop faster than ever…*

    Damn, not again… Maybe I should of left that last part out… *sigh* :(

  10. Because it is currently my favorite song, would it be appropriate for them to do a Korean men parody of Lily Allen’s ‘Hard out here’?

  11. Back home, if you are not married by 25, you are a spinster (all my classmates back home are either engaged, on their first baby or married). Im 26…. xD Im living in the US now, but right around this time is when I am asked why I dont have a boyfriend yet, since I am ‘next in line’ as the one that goes before me got a BF who’s already been introduced to the family xD GAH. The Pressure, but they just have to wait, ill be going to Uni next year, YEAH! ;).

    In that sense I am strict, I want someone with a steady foundation, at least a bachelors degree, but thats it. I dont have all these extremely unrealistic views on what my life will be. All I want is a man with a Bachelors Degree and im good. xD

    • are you korean? what you described sounds like my culture lol

      and i just don’t understand the importance of education (no offense to you! :) ).
      My mother is always like “You will finish university soon so your future husband must at least have a bacherlors degree” and i’m like “why? what if he is super nice but doesn’t have one” mom:”….are you kidding me? so you are saying that you would marry someone with a lower education EVEN THOUGH you finished university?” “eh..yes”
      lol i really don’t get it

      • Nope, not Korean, im from Central America and it custom over there to find your future Husband and Wife in University if you want to live at a middle class level too (or at least slightly better than everyone else, if you dont, then you are usually ‘dirt poor’).

        Customs aside, I guess it wouldnt matter if my bf doesnt have a degree, but its preferable if he wants to become husband material :P Itll be better in the long run, Ive been the sole breadwinner of my family once and HELL I know ill need help later on xD I dont want to be in that situation again.

  12. I have a topic for you guys to talk about: dancing in Korea!
    How are people dancing in Korea? Same as in Canada-USA-Europe or different?
    I’m a big salsa dancing fan and I saw on Youtube videos that there is salsa dancing bars and also big international salsa events.
    Is there any social dancing, how is it vied by korean? Should a man be able to dance like in latin america or it’s not so important?
    I’m not shure I’m in the wright place to be asking these questions, but hope you will read them!

  13. this is beyond stupid. Korean girls are not an entity (no matter how many people repeat that we shouldn’t generalize, I steal see loads of it in the comments) and being “tall, goodlooking, rich, smart” is just an universal ideal.

  14. My Bf is Vietnamese and I’m from El Salvador so a Latina….a couple days ago I went to his house and his mom called me practically ugly because I wasn’t what she considered her ideal type for her son. He defended me and walked with me and told me he didn’t care what his mom said =) i think that in general people have their own opinions on what is beautiful and what is a good quality to have but i don’t agree with that.

  15. dating a korean american….im hispanics !!!her parent hate me…weeee

  16. In my opinion any korean guy that has a cheerful personality and treats me well is great :P I really want a korean boyfriend but i have no idea how to do so

  17. Is Korea Eco-friendly? do they recycle and try to use “green energy” (solar panels,etc)? Plus, in Canadian schools we always have classes about how to stop pollution and how to be more aware of the environment, do they have that in Korean schools? I love u guys :D ^_^ <3

  18. *First time ever commenting on anything from EYK omgomgnervous*

    A lot of Asian countries try to imitate what they find ‘attractive’ as far as their image of Westerners goes(because foreigner-ish things are cool but sometimes being an actual foreigner isn’t?? That’s another thing though). Slender nose. Double eye-lids. Jawline. Height. Etc. I think the unrealistic ideals of what a guy should look like is compounded daily with what they see in the media(much like ANYWHERE else mind you). K-pop and the entertainment culture more or less revolves around aesthetics and looking appealing, which in turn means looking Asian with Western features. If you look at what typical Koreans look like and look at what their celebrity counterparts look like, their facial features don’t really look the same do they? (Not gonna name specifics cause I don’t wanna get bashed for being racist or anything, but being realistic, different ethnicities have different facial features common among themselves)

    Another commenter mentioned that the ideal that a man should be entirely financially stable and well off comes from older-times where the older generations remember what it was like to be dirt-poor and have to scrounge for /anything/. I think this mentality was simply passed down generations. Addition: And I think it’s generally a common thing for most parents to want their children to marry/be with someone who’s financially stable at the very least. While idealistically people want to always think, “if a couple is strong enough they can make it through anything!” But financial difficulties and strains seem to be one of the most strenuous types of strains a couple can undergo together. My partner and I have gone through a couple periods where we were financially ‘tight’ and it puts a damper on almost everything.

    Additional addition: Awkwardly accidentally up-voting my own post and then down-voting it to balance it out and then feeling awkward that I did it in the first place..

  19. OMG. This list is insanity. That is so much stress. I don’t even have words for that. I’m with Martina on this one, what happened to “Kind man, kind to me, has similar interests, sense of humor, parents don’t hate me etc”? Wow….I can’t math this one.
    What’s the equivalent for women? There’s NO WAY girls are getting out of this expectation nightmare.

  20. Richard Hollingsworth

    Test of English for International Communication (TOEIC) per wiki

  21. I know simons my ideal man!!~~ :3 lol

  22. I grew up with the idea that the guy should not be abusive in any way and should love me for who I am not for what society expects me to be… I later also decided he should be hardworking and have a great personality, plus match up with at least some of my interests! I didn’t care about looks or weight or height because honestly I wouldn’t want them to care how I look, especially right after I role out of bed! HAHAHA

    Luckily the guy I am with now meets all my expectations AND MORE! I think he looks great, he is not much taller than I am so we are both a couple of shorties, we both love superheroes/villains, detective stories/shows, video games, pokemon, reading, and so much more. I am so lucky to have my boyfriend, just as I am sure Martina feels about Simon <3

  23. The parents are a BIG part of the whole dating and relationships thing in Korea. Parents are generally very involved with their children’s lives, even well into adulthood. Basically until a girl is married, she’s basically considered by her parents to still be a minor and it’s completely normal and acceptable to tell her what time she has to be home by, where she can go, whether she can move out or not and especially who she dates. I’m pretty sure my girlfriend’s dad still doesn’t know his daughter has a boyfriend, much less a white devil even though I’ve actually had dinner at her family’s house (I believe she and her mother told him I was her friend).

    We’re planning on moving to Australia together mid next year and it’s going to be interesting to see how her parents react and how she will deal with their reaction. Only time will tell.

    My point is: I believe in Korean society it’s the parents who ultimately decide on these things.

  24. Many of the Korean ideals are very similar to Chinese ideals, especially to the big international Chinese cities. However, China also emphasize in 门当户对. Which means the partner should be around the same social status, their family should come from the same educational level etc. In general, you should be marrying within the same social group. Of course, there are girls who want to marry ‘up’, but they are not put in a good light… They are called ‘Sparrow acting like phoenix’ or they are ‘fishing for that golden son in law’ etc.

  25. When I lived in Seoul, one of my elementary school students was getting growth hormone shots because he was shorter than most of his classmates. (He was also about 9 months younger). His mom told me that tall people are leaders, so his father said it was important for him to be tall. O_o

  26. In New Zealand our native people called “Maori” and your parents would most likely want their child to marry soneone with not alot of money but with alot of land. Im not saying they arrange their own children’s marriages but its just a key point in someone. But most ideal types in NZ is just personality. There’s not a standard, it just depends on who you fall in love with :)

    • Well the point of marrying someone with a lot of land was because land is a mark of position. And in most cases, land itself was more valuable than currency, if not currency itself. So it’s the same concept. “Marry someone well off.”

  27. Hi there!
    I’ll try my best with my rusted english, don’t hate me for my mistakes. LOL

    I’m shocked, seriously..
    Watching Korean dramas, idols interviews and random variety programs, I realize that the stereotypes were different, which is amazing, because our cultures are extremely different, but seeing this list I realize that maybe some Korean girls are too demanding? I know it’s not all of them, but somehow is the opposite of what I search, or like in a men..

    I’m from Argentina, and I’m aware that Latin-American stereotypes are a lot different, but I’ve been reading some comments, and I agree with a lot of them. It’s not all about money, or how you can get a good looking man, but it’s about how well you feel when you’re with him, and how love is blind, you know? Somehow I feel a bit sorry for the young Korean men and girls, because they have so much pressure to be a perfect husband or wife, it should be exhausting..

    Anyway, thanks Simon&Martina, you’re amazing! Loved the video, and the comments about it! Kisses from the end of the world ^^ ♥

  28. i swear this is bit of a description of Ok Taecyeon!

  29. So… I’m forever going to say so-gae-ting the “Jamaican” way.

  30. What about the ideal woman then?

  31. I’m Korean and I clearly think this list is just flat out WRONG! I mean how could women have so much expectations if we can’t be perfect? I’m 23 and I realized early on that I can’t expect much out of guys at my age. He might have an undergraduate degree and have hell of a loan to pay back but how could you expect to make 100+ million dollars right after you graduate? Of course, unless you are dating some son of wealthy CEO. But how many of the girls can actually date someone like this? Heck, I can’t even make much money right now with my job :/ I hope girls can see potential and capability in their loved ones, not measure them with unattainable things and outer appearances.

    P.s. I’m not being frustrated to any of you here haha! SM are awesome and I love watching their videos. I usually don’t say much in general, but this is one of the topics that always frustrates me .

  32. Boy, am I happy to

  33. I do believe that the pressure on guys about their looks & height in Korea is quite big, because I have never met an European guy who has openly called himself ugly in a “just a random fact about me” way. I get that close people can tease each other about their looks and so on, but the first time I encountered this I was quite shocked, especially since the guy wasn’t ugly at all.

    I think that dating/marrying a man who fits all these requirements would be ridiculously boring. It might be stable but I way more prefer someone exciting, random and hilarious than spending my life with someone I simply “get along” with.

    I blame the existence of arranged marriage, because it seems that mostly in the countries were it exists (has existed for a long time) there are strict requirements so that you could show off to others, it’s never been a big thing in Western culture so we don’t really care about things like detailed family background, top education and so on.

    • I find the point of arranged marriages interesting. It brings a whole different perspective to the discussion and I think it’s something we should consider more as oppose to “dang, so superficial”. I would think all these ‘requirement suggestions’ are coming from the older generation down to the younger.

      Actually Western culture did care more in the past and a lot of people still do. It’s just not what is shown on TV. We ( i say we cause I’m a part of Western society), anyways…. We like to show a lot of fantasy type romeo and juliet, whirlwind romances in our media and turn a blind eye to a lot of the harsher realities. It ain’t called fiction for nothing.

    • Wow I hope you don’t think Korea is big on arranged marriages… I am Korean and I don’t know anyone who got arrange married.

      To say “Western culture …we don’t really care about things like detailed family background, top education and so on” is wrong. People in Western cultures do care about these things but maybe not to the same extremity, depending on your social group and where you are. In America THE colleges to go to are usually the Ivy league ones, especially if you live in the Northeast coast. Manhattan has one of the highest GDP’s in the world, you tell them there family background, top education and so on doesn’t matter.

  34. *facepalms*

  35. Here in Brazil, people usually describe the personality, and don’t care much about the appearance (of course there are people who do.. but not much) and I think it’s because we are a country with such a big racial diversity that you will never find a standard.. and about money.. a lot of girls care about it, but some (like me and my friends) just care if the guy is nice to her :D

    And oh … i wooould love to meet a guy who went to an Art School, people who like art are usually fun to be with ♥
    Like Korean girls (not all) are hard to please!!.. the things that they want from a guy never ever crossed my mind, like >how much he can drink<… like WTF? hehe

  36. Haha, on the parents living outside of the city thing, I once heard that the ideal distance to live from your in-laws is far enough that they don’t just stop by all the time, BUT close enough that when they do stop by, they don’t stay overnight. LOL

  37. In California I don’t really see an “ideal” type. I think everyone’s ideal are different. For me, the only thing I cared about when i was single, was “does he have a job?” “Is he responsible? ” “is he funny?” And for me personally, I’m attracted to Asian men.Scored on all these things and more with my hubby butt. But for my lady friends it’s all different. They oddly enough always would make fun of me foe my “type”. Lol am I the only one who thinks nerds are hot? I know I’m not alone when.it comes to my fellow nasties. Nerds over jocks for life. (*^﹏^*)

  38. Well, as Canadians yourselves I’m sure you already know this lol but I don’t feel like there’s quite so much emphasis on the schooling thing around here. Like if you say you’re going to university, that’s good enough. It shows that you aren’t just a lazy butt, and apparently that’s good enough for us Canadians xD I don’t really follow the cultural norm around here though so maybe I’m just bullsh*tting you without knowing it. Emphasis on height is a big thing though still. What girl likes it if the guy is shorter?

    I’d say that a big thing for females here would be that they like to be a socially stronger and more independent presence (for the most part) so all that grabby – pulling girls around by their arm – stuff wouldn’t really go over so well here. That’s not to say that we’re all extroverts, definitely not, but independence is stressed in Canada. As well as the fact that getting treated well by your man is important too. Interesting how different countries can have such different ideals!

    • I don’t agree with you. I don’t see an emphasis on height that much. Personally, I don’t care and I’m sure I’m not the only one. When I got into manga, I was shocked by the big emphasis on height. All couples had a clear height difference and the only couples where the guy was shorter than the girl, it was the main point of the story. Also, they only kissed when the guy was higher on stairs. That’s so sad in my opinion.

  39. it’s different from a person to another

  40. it’s more about who you are and who’s your family ..your manners and principle you believe in your background and your reputation ..but also how much you make is required ..image is important but not in the top of the list ..well

  41. Wow that’s a lot of stuff… Honestly after compatibility and personality a lot of the stuff in this list I’d consider more of a “bonus” to being in a relationship with someone. “You’re tall? Cool! You went to Queens? Alright! You enjoy watching me shop for clothes? Wow! You’ll dance around naked? Well that’s a little…”

  42. I think this happens in a lot of countries up to some point. Like I’m from Peru and the university thing is very much true for us too. If u didn’t go to one of the elite schools then people r gonna look down on u, and if u ask a girl they r gonna tell u they wouldn’t date a guy from the other “not so cool” universities.

  43. I think that in Greece only the general ideals really apply – I don’t THINK there are too many specifics apart for making sure he’s not a mamma’s boy, as most people have different opinions. At least that’s what I talk about with my friends.

    For me, ideals are just ideals. I have them, but I don’t live by them. Whilst I would LIKE a ‘so and so type of man with this and that’, my current boyfriend actually matches very few of these and I couldn’t be happier. They’re kind of like a bonus: if they have it, then great, if they don’t then whatever. What I look for essentially is a good personality that matches well with mine, and someone who I have great chemistry with. And that’s the way I think it should be. Ideals a great, but some people probably miss out on some amazing opportunities just because they can’t be flexible and get too picky. They’re also something that develop over time. Over the years, based on experience from my relationships and those of others, some ideals have been scrapped and others have been added – sometimes you find that your ideal wasn’t actually so ideal at all. And then of course I think that helps later on in life when you’re looking for someone because you know what kind of person you can have a long-lasting relationship with.

    I could probably say a lot more, but this is just my two cents :)

  44. I’m not that surprised by those ideals. I wonder why they still carry such traditional views though, or like 2nd or 3rd world countries… First world countries have generally grown out of that. I am guessing guys judge each other on these things?

    I can’t stand yelling/being yelled at and being grabbed. So if irl Korean guys are like they are in dramas, I’m likely not getting a Korean boyfriend. ╮(╯3╰)╭

    Watching WGM with Jung Joon Young, it was so weird because though he isn’t my ideal type we are so similar in preferences and mentality, and share some habits and even mannerisms… I need to find someone like him. Even for a friend. Q_Q I do think compatibility is #1 most important thing in relationships. That is why Simon and Martina are so great together.

  45. Mariam Watt

    How was this survey conducted? Because if it was a list of qualities and they asked women to check which ones they LIKED, as in, “Would you LIKE him to have graduation from SKY? Yes or No?” “Would you like him to be sickly? Or not sickly?”, that’s a bit different than “He MUST graduate from SKY”.
    That means that that item is an attractive quality, but not a requirement.
    But answering a lot of those questions, or assembling individual answers, doesn’t mean that women are expecting ALL of those qualities in one person. Right?
    And maybe I’m alone in this, but I don’t really want my husband to come shopping with me. I’m infuriatingly indecisive. I don’t even like it when the sales people talk to me. Someone standing over me, holding my bags would just make it worse.
    Dancing naked, however, is now a deal breaker.

  46. Hello, I’m a Korean girl who just saw this video :) Now I know that you guys clearly mentioned that this wouldn’t be for all Korean girls, but still it kind of irritates me to see that it still sounded like ‘the majority’ of Korean girls, because seriously, it ISN’T. It is true that Korean girls want a good looking guy taller than her, but let me repeat; ‘taller than her’. All of my friends (including myself) would not like to see a guy floating way up 20cm taller than us.

    Moving on, I am quite sure that Korean girls do not consider their boyfriends’ parents as if they were some hindrance who should be kept away. I cannot say much about how much wealth a boyfriend needs, as I am still a student under my parents care, and do not know how independent Korean girls would think, but I’m sure that’s not what all girls think about.

    Finally, about all the requirements such as playing guitar, SKY, great sense of humor and all that… NO. Seriously. I believe, and all my friends believe that everyone have different merits and flaws, and it is most important to find somebody who is compatible, so that the two can take some merits and fill up the flaws for each other. We do occasionally see these ‘requirements’ for boyfriends, but they are mostly just continuous bullet-points of what things Korean girls would love to see in their lovers, not what men needs to have to become their lover. There is a clear difference, and if there is a Korean girl who really wants all these requirements, she is a total BITCH or a princess living in 청담동.

    The owner of the blog you brought your information from, ‘순진하지 않은 토끼’, also seemed to agree with me as she has listed how she doesn’t need those requirements on her page as well.
    Please don’t take offence, I just wanted to clear things up as most people here seemed to misunderstand Korean girls and get stereotypes. Thanks.

    • Hey there friend :D. My mother language is not english, and as such I wanted to say to u that this blog post didn’t gave the impression that this is a general and universal ideal type list for all korean women :) . So don’t worry. Maybe some of the comments to this post sound like that, but that was not what I got from S&M post. As Simon and Martina said (when referring to that blog post) that was a PARODY list. Even so all parodies have some truth to them, meaning that even if that is not all girls list, this list still carries (to a more or less extent) qualities/facts women would like to find in a guy or a society would value.

      For example, I am Brazillian and my culture is composed by so many cultures mixed together. So depending from what country ur family tree comes from, from which region of the country u are, depending of ur social status or ambitions, religion and even ur idea about what love and family are u will look for different things in a relationship and what an “ideal man” is.
      But even with all these cultural differences I could find many points in that blog parody list that apply to my culture as well: have a good nature and personality, charisma and charming smile, a job that pays well and has stabilty, being taller than the girl, have graduated from a renowned college, treat ur in-laws respectfully and preference that they don’t meddle in ur relationship, being handsome and so on. Is that everyone’s ideal in my country? Of course not. Are those needed requirements for people to find their significant other? As u said NO they aren’t. But still those traits/qualities/facts calls a woman or a family attention and can count as bonus points. That is the message I got from this post.

      And thank you for expanding and writing what u as a young korean girl and ur friends value more :D! Some K-dramas love to make the lead girl this poor damsel in distress that has to end with the leading Prince type of guy that usually have a bunch of that parody list qualities. So I really appreciate reading what u wrote in opposition to the image dramas usually sell :).

    • Indeed I think that Soo Zee would also agree with you on those points. Unfortunately some people don’t read things properly and unfortunately assume that this is a general view and buy into stereotypes.

    • I think your comment is a breath of fresh air for those who are ready to jump and generalize that ALL Korean women want ALL of these standards. So I doubt anyone would take offence at it.

      It is interesting to note these ‘reoccurring wish-lists’ b/c let’s face it, every country has something similar. Although one might not be able to notice it when you’re inside the country/culture.

      However, when it comes to generalization, I don’t think that it means that the opposite is necessarily true. I usually take what I read with a grain of salt, including the video and what you typed. There will be ‘princesses’ that want these attributes in a guy and there will be girls that don’t necessarily give a flying toothpick. I mean, just simply replay what Martina spoke of about what her students said. It does raise some eyebrows. (I understand your comment is for those who are ready to accept the stereotypes for all Korean women and not because you entirely disagree with it)

      I call it a reoccurring wish-list because let’s face it, that’s what the media likes to show us (not only in dramas but in variety shows, music and the rest). Not to say that the media is a perfect mirror of society but it does reflect society to an limited extent.

      I suppose this is the result of what happens when you do a survey – generalization. The question I would like to ask is whether the survey is about what their partner MUST have or a ‘it would be nice for him to…”. I mean, someone with a great personality and a lot of money? Sounds like a jackpot to me. Regardless of which it is, it does put some stress on the opposite gender.

      It would be interesting to see what the ‘ideal-Korean-woman’ is. Although, I don’t think it’s that hard to guess.

    • Yeah, that’s one of the unfortunate effects of these TL;DRs. Whenever we talk about anything less than ideal, be it the pickiness of some Korean girls, or the smoking of some Korean men, or the stereotypes some Korean people have, some people will assume that it stands for the whole rather than the part.

      Apart from the many disclaimers we put both in our videos and blog posts, I’m not sure what else we can do when we talk about serious posts :(

    • I think they were hoping to make the whole “These are what is common viewed as good, but people aren’t always actively looking for them” sort of view. Sort of like how there are certain standards and “impress points” in the US. So I guess the SKY schools are kind-of like Ivy Leagues in the US. So I am sure if I went to one person and said my Husband with to Rutgers University but told another person he went to Princeton, I would get a totally different reactions.

      That said, there are “nit-picky” people in the states. I was flabbergasted when my friend said she wasn’t going to have a “long-term relationship” with a guy because he never went to college. She already had it in her mind she wasn’t going to get married right then and there because of that reason. I also had a friend who had a long list of specifics about the guy she was going to “marry” like he must be over 6 foot (she was a tall girl), be a good Christian, nerdy- preferably an engineer, non-smoker, nerdy, etc, etc. And it wasn’t like if he fell into SOME of those categories, I remember her finding a guy and he saying she was only going to go to second base with him because he smoked.

      That said, I wouldn’t be surprised it is worth noting that there are more strict standards of what is ideal for a man since it is a more focused culture than in some other western countries with higher levels of immigration. Being from the states, I’ve noticed some girls had certain ideals for guys that are more common from other girls from the same national background. Sometimes not. Sometimes it reflects how their parents brought them up. Sometimes it reflects just the regions they grew up in, whether it be a small town, rich neighborhood, or city.

      I do have to say, what Simon and Martina say seem to be somewhat correct-ish. I mean I feel like in a Korean dramas stress similar points as they do. When the character falls short of these ideals, it seems to be stressed as a flaw that the female needs to get over- if that makes sense?

  47. no wonder the population growth rate is negative….

  48. I would like to know do you need a visa to live and work in korea if so which one should I get,how long do they last and how much do they cost. I really would like to know so I can study korean there and work as a graphic designer.

  49. I’m trying to figure out Korean culture as I’ve read some of the things mentioned in the video before but my girlfriend doesn’t seem to follow the majority of them, or at least she hasn’t mentioned it, Besides we’re together so I guess she likes me for me :D.

    I’m English and we started as penpals 12 years ago and recently officially got together, I visited her in September etc. I’m about 180cm, her family mentioned how tall I am so i guess i’m considered tall over there. Her brother likes me a lot, I got on well with her sister and considering her mother couldn’t speak English I made her smile often but that’s probably because I was doing things wrong XD. But nothing was mentioned about cars or buying a home or anything really.

    Will her parents be expecting me to buy a home before we actually marry? or does renting suffice? As we’d be living in UK I don’t know exactly what she or her family want or expect from me.

  50. So I’m from USA… But I honestly have no clue what the typical “ideal type” is here…. That’s how in-tune I am with my own culture! =D *I think I actually know more about South Korea than my own country lol*

    But seriously, I don’t really understand why some people are so materialistically focused when it comes to dating/marrying/whatever. I value personality MUCH more than looks, job, education, and all of that. I value people for WHO they are, not what they do. :)

  51. … art school… -looks arround- eeeeeeeeeh… I study Game Art…art..art…art….. Well f*k you Korea … no more League and Starcraft for you then :O

  52. SillyRnti

    “And he should forgive his wife IF she cheats on him.” Um, if a guy has all of the qualities listed why would a woman cheat on him?

    I’m curious, of the friends that you asked, what were there ages? I know that when I was in my early twenties a lot of my friends and I had a long list of ideals for potential. As you get older, you weed out the b.s. and look for things of substance.

    • I don’t know… most of the qualifications are about appearance.. physical, financial and social.. they guy should also be hassle free, low maintenance, cause no problems, plus popular among ladies (for boasting purposes).. Nothing about emotional connection. I’m guessing a woman who makes all of these requirements will also easily swoon when they see another guy with similar or even better qualities than her boyfriend/hubbie (like a fun handsome playboy boss in the office who doesn’t care about commitment)…

  53. ChocoPandaa

    WOW. That is basically, like seriously, A MAN NO ONE CAN FIND IN THE WORLD, A MAN THAT ONLY APPEARS IN YOUR DREAMS… Basically the guy has to be good in almost everything and all that shit.. Well of course I know not all Korean women are like that. I’m sure lots of women from other countries are like that too, minus the place of where he graduates and all that stuff relating to family.. But now I’m curious, do the majority of Korean men have the same standards like that for women..?
    I’m only 152cm tall NO WAY will I want a guy over 180cm… LOL. All I want is a guy with a personality like Infinite’s Dongwoo(seriously, he’s not afraid of being himself, he’s funny, he’s witty, he’s simply amazing~) and a guy that would make me happy~~

  54. I’m actually surprised to hear that art school is considered lowest of the low in Korea! There were a lot of Koreans who went to the Rhode Island School of Design (because of some recruiting outpost over there), and I was always informed that it was considered a super elite thing to do. One of my friends had a high level executive father at Samsung and he landed a design internship there (and now probably a job). Perhaps it’s different because it was abroad? Or maybe I was being lied to xD

    • Remember, studying abroad is also one of the positives so art school abroad should be ok. Also I think that those types of art student would be seen as more likely to succeed and also be hired as designers for big gaming/animation companies.

      As a person who went to art school it can be the same all the world over. Either you are looked down on as a struggling artist or you somehow manage to succeed in the art world and are venerated, however it is more likely for you to be a poor struggling artist than a wildly successful one. The career is not one that is guaranteed to work well and I guess that’s the reason why it is looked down on. No stability or surety of success.

      • Yeah, I used to study at RISD and changed my career path halfway through (for many reasons, but instability being one of them!). That being said I know people from my class who are now at Microsoft, Puma, and Cartoon Network (so, so, soooo jealous…) so I guess RISD has a certain reputation that reaches internationally. Regardless, I had an ex-boyfriend who was an Ivy League engineer who told me my art job could easily be outsourced, that I would therefore be homeless and that I would not be welcome when I knock on his “mahogany doors.” (Actual quote…Lol.) His opinion of an art career became very clear at that point.

    • It seems you already have the answer with you: “executive father at Samsung”

      • Yeah, but he was just a rarity among the dudes. That being said, he was actually very tall, wealthy, good looking, and considered a super a hot commodity among the other Korean students lol

  55. Are men’s expectations of women this high in Korea? What are Korean men’s ‘ideal type’?

  56. I think most of these requirements is too show off to other people, not because they themselves fancy that sort of guy.

  57. In Finland, I’d say most girls go for guys who are buff and super manly, whereas guys with lighter builds, more delicate facial features, and more sensitive personalities are basically doomed to single life. And Finnish men have no tolerance for anything except super-manliness. As for level of education, it’s enough that you went to a vocational high school, as long as you can chop wood and build houses and wrestle bears and hunt reindeer. Athleticism and physical strength are HUGE. And here I am, fawning over all these Korean flower boys, and the people around me (especially guys) are unable to understand why…

    • Does that have something to do with ‘sisu’? I’m with you though – athletic/buff/manly men are preferred in Australia but I seem to like guys that are way skinnier than me (and Korean^^)! ㅋㅋㅋ Mutta miten voitte tavata miehiä suomessa? Asuin siellä vaihto-oppilana vuodeksi ja ei ketään (suomalaisia miehiä) puhui mulle! Ehkä koska olen australialainen mutta kuitenkin!

      • i think people in Finland meet each other through their friends, school or clubs/parties. But don’t take it by heart if the finnish guys didn’t talk to you, it wasn’t your fault at all! :) I don’t think finnish people are that talkative with strangers. With that i don’t mean finnish people don’t like strangers, but they don’t start talking to you if they don’t know you. (If they do, it would be extremely rare case.) for example if you ever took a bus in Finland you might have noticed this; no one talks to each other, it’s deadly silent usually. Or that neighbors don’t really talk with each other, they might say hi but that’s it. They are not trying to be rude, it’s just doesn’t happen very often. That’s why if you want to meet guys in finland, it’s better to go to parties or school events and people hang around together, get to know each other and hey you just might get lucky :) Or, you can be your charming self and go talk to that stranger on the street or lonely guy in the bar, they probably won’t shoot you down, they might actually be even pleased that you took the first step.

        And I kinda agree with that manly man thing. buff/athletic/tall. Education doesn’t really matter or family background. I actually don’t know anyone who cares about the family background. But lately this “hipster” thing has gotten into people and those skinny sensitive guys are on roll :DD hahaha. their time has definitely come. at least in the big cities :D

        • Hahaha – Don’t worry – I lived there for a year so I know that Finnish people aren’t completely silent (the opposite is true most of the time – it’s just in public, which I quite like)! I couldn’t really go out though because I was on high school exchange at the time. I did have a couple of guys talk to me in the second half of my year there – but they thought I was Finnish initially, until I told them otherwise (although I’m sure my terrible Finnish would have given me away).

          Viva i hipster! (Elää hipsteri! – how do you say that in Finnish?) ㅋㅋㅋ

        • Hmmm… I would say “eläköön hipsterit!” :D someone can correct me if I’m wrong :D Finnish language is extremely difficult so learning even a little bit of finnish in a year is really well done :P the word “elää” is translated pretty much like “lives” if you drop the last letter ä it would be “live”. If I understood right the “viva i” it means in english long live ? long live is literally translated “eläköön” so I would use that. :P And now I’m just curious how well you can speak finnish if they mistook you as finnish person :)

        • Ah ok thanks! Yep ‘long live’ in English. I’m actually an Italian major at university – hence the Italian as opposed to the French ‘vive’… My written Finnish is dreadful and I can’t read very well but speaking is easy for me. I might have a bit of Kainuu/Savo dialect but not much I think. I lived in Pohois-Savo but one of my host families was from Kainuu. I’ve forgotten so many words too! I should probably go back and study the grammar and work on my vocabulary again!

        • oh dear god, you have dialect from Savo?? hahahah nice, that’s pretty strong dialect :DD and even if it is just speaking the language well, that’s great :) hard language.

  58. With the exception of a few things, this is pretty universal list wise. I have to say though, you miss out sometimes on the most wonderful people by having a type. I don’t think I really was happy until I abandoned my ‘type’. I think a lot of it, is maybe we just really want someone that actively takes care of needs in some way? The thing I love about high standards is, do the people that set them wonder if like they meet their ideal person’s standard? :3 Also the dancing naked thing was hysterical!!! The charming smile made me spit soda onto my desk.

  59. I have a potential TL;DR question. What’s the division of social class structure like in Korea? In dramas it always seems like there are only the super rich and the super poor. Is there actually a very small middle class? Do the super rich view the middle class as being poverty stricken? Or is that something they do just to create conflict for TV?

    • that’s a great question, in America we like to pretend class doesn’t really exist – but in Kdramas it’s a prevalent theme. I’ve wondered if that’s exaggerated myself, or if it’s close to real life in Korea.

      • It’s not that the US pretends class doesn’t exist, I think it’s that it doesn’t play as big a role as it does in Korean society. The gap between the rich and poor is actually bigger in the US than it is in South Korea.

        • Oh I agree that class divisions exist, I guess I was trying to make the point that Americans don’t like to think in those terms. The American Dream and all that…

  60. Does that man really exist?? I don’t like perfection… then I wouldn’t have anything to fix…

  61. Sheila Muñoz

    I won’t generalize, but most of the girls I know would like a good looking, tall guy and all, but being so picky as to point where he has graduated from? or how much his family get in a year? like seriously? of course my mom would love for me to have like the perfect man, tall, blonde, with blue or green eyes (yeah, that’s her definition of perfect) but me? I don’t really ‘search’ for that kind of guy.

    Little old me goes to the fashioned side with the.. if the guy makes me laugh, we have common interests and idk we fell in love just cause, that would be perfect. :3

  62. PunkyPrincess92

    art school is the lowest….not surprised…KINDA like that here in England!! (but kinda not exactly, probably more my area)
    anyway *sad face* i go to one!! *sniff sniff* will no one love mmmeeeee???
    haha~

    O_o what is up with the results of that survey?? like seriously??
    as long as the dude is just a little taller than me i’m fine!! (which they most likely will be since i am SHORT!!)

    dance naked??? ahahahahahahahahahahha!!!!

    as an asian this is is pretty similar to what my culture thinks!! also….being fair-skinned is a positive…

    i don’t really care or agree with looking at a dude for these qualities!!
    i want nice personality, who is slightly a weirdo (like Onew weird, not WEIRD weird haha), and does something they love, i don’t care about money, as long as they ain’t a lazy bum who does nothing all day!!

  63. I don’t know about others in the US, but for me they just have to be my height or taller. It’s really awkward leaning down to kiss a guy.

  64. Maybe I’m just simple….but as long as He’s artsy, fun, has some of the same interests, and can put up with me being the weird awkward me that I am…then not much else matters. Of course there is always that want for your partner to be incredibly handsome…buuuuut personally that’s one of those things that if he is, well then Fate is shining golden rays from heaven upon me. If not, oh well. I have better things like his personality ^-^

  65. These girls should just go buy an Absolute Boyfriend; would cost millions but every single thing of their demand would be fulfilled perfectly. LOL. Sorry for the manga reference.
    As a girl, a single one, I’d never have such a high standard: the main thing is that he should be capable to be my best of best friend and have the same religion, and should be smart! :D

  66. Do Koreans ever get annoyed by the amount of k-Pop fans overseas and the ones that became obsessed with the music and culture? And do they find it annoying when non-Korean citizens come to Korea and take English teaching jobs, as well as other jobs?

  67. A huge problem with this is that it is reflected over and over again in a vast majority of the dramas. The male lead is often cold and mean to the female lead, causing her to cry from ep1 to ep13-15 (the second male lead is often sweet but never gets chosen somehow, except for that one time in Dream High). The female lead still ends up with him despite all of the bad stuff he’s done to her in the past. (Secret for example. Neither of those guys was that great. She managed to fall for a creep twice.)

    • Bernarduchis Calvillo

      Actually, he is mean to her only until he accepts that he likes her (Usually in the middle of the drama). The thing about lead guys is not that they treat the girl as shit at first, but the fact that they change for them. They are so in love they become better persons, not because the girl wants to change him, but because she naturally does that. And the, she forgives him because she sees behind his “bad” mask and reaches his true heart.

      The second main lead is the kind of guy that is “oh-so-perfect” and “oh-so-in-love” with the girl, but he is always rejected. The kind of character that is made for you to pity and makes you want to hug him. He is so charming, that you don’t get to see his true face. His REAL feelings. He stays the same. That’s why I don’t like second male leads, and I would not choose him either.

  68. Marie-Hélène Thériault

    With all those standards, You would have to be super human! Personally, I wouldn’t want for my Boyfriend to meet all those standards. You don’t have to be rich to be happy! We are both students living in a small apartment with our two cats. And we are happy with what we have. The only thing that I want from my boyfriend, is that we pay everything (food, rent, internet…ect) equally and that we help each other with the cleaning and doing food. Although, I love cooking way too much! :P I’m happy to be living like that. Living with someone you love is the best thing that can happen!

  69. Emily

    I’ve noticed it goes both ways for men and women in regards to dating stress in Korea. My coteacher at my hagwon was genuinely surprised when I mentioned that my boyfriend doesn’t care what I wear. “He doesn’t yell at you when you don’t wear enough dresses? You mean he really cares about your personality?” No joke her exact reaction.

  70. Hi guys! I’ve been following you from some time. I think that your posts are realy pertinent and interesting. By the way, my name is Beatriz and I’m from Portugal.
    It’s interesting how you guys talk about the issue of the qualities that a korean girl is searching in a man. I think that characteristic is related somehow to the culture. For example, here in Portugal there is this culture that our moms want us to marry a rich man, but for them is even more important that they’re doctors or judges or CEO. It’s like, the importance of the position of your husband…. But I’m a romantic, so, I agree with Martina when she say that if we love someone is not like if we are seeing if is from X University, or have this job, or went to a foreigner country… If we fall in love, we just fall in love…

    By the way, I’m a physical therapist student, and for sometime now I wondered how is this job seen in Korea? It’s recognized as a scientific studies? I wonder…

    Thanks for the hilarious posts, the interesting information, and making me laugh a lot of times.
    You have to come visit sometime the portuguese nastys :3
    kiss from PT

  71. It seems like Korean girls live in dramas or movies. That’s why some of them turn 35 and don’t even have a boyfriend. Personally, I prefer someone who treats me well and who truly loves me, than someone who has a car or swims in money. I don’t give a rats ass; all of that is going to disappear, and she’s gonna say bye to him and next to the other that is rich.From where I come, to find a man that does love you and so on, it’s practically impossible…oh and forget about him offering to buy you dinner at the corner cheap restaurant, or bring you a tiny flower on you’re birthday( scumbags ). So I think that girls should start to appreciate the man that truly loves and protects his woman, because they are damn lucky to live in such a civilized country and with men that know how to treat a woman!!!

    P.S: God I wish I lived in Korea “sobs”

  72. Well let’s not weep and cry for Korean men in a patriarchal society where this all has some weight until of course we hit the statistics of violence towards and oppression of women :/ Standards for Korean men center around many aspects outside being tall such as their abilities, intelligence, personalities, and abilities, standards for women around their appearances, obedience, and role as a housewife.

    • I would like to see the list for what men expect in a woman. Something tells me that it will have a similar strictness such as weight, height, looks, money because what a culture creates in one gender it usually has a similar tendency for the other.

    • Yes, I am wondering this as well. I’m pretty sure the girl must not be overweight, at least.

  73. My in-laws live 11 floors above me… And I hang out with my mother in law 3 times a week if not more…
    But… But… We knit together, and eat Indian food and go shopping and go see plays and operas together! She’s awesome! Really!
    I might be an old lady in a young lady’s body… T_T

  74. In Turkey it’s more like finding someone that suits you. But there are a lot of people who date/get married with people that don’t match them financially, educationally, physically etc. For me, I don’t care about matching financially and physically unless the gap is really huge but I actually believe that to get along with someone we need match educationally.

    Not long ago, I graduated from one of the best universities in Turkey and while I was studying a friend in our department was dating a high school drop out. Although I understand that people have different priorities, I couldn’t understand how they got along. It didn’t last long since the guy kept ignoring her. So it’s not just about you accepting that person. If that person is not as qualified as you are in a way, he shouldn’t have inferiority complex about it. When that person has inferiority complex he starts treating you bad because he feels preasured by how you good you are.

    Anyways, those are my thoughts. Thank for the video~ It was a good topic to talk about :)

  75. um…if a guy wanted to go shopping with me… and gossip at a coffee shop…while looking through girly magazines…and then try to act all manly too….seriously, i’d be completely creeped out. I mean, don’t Korean women understand that guys and gals are DIFFERENT?? it’s like they want some kind of male/female hybrid.

  76. I’m just saying, to any Korean male out there… don’t pay too much attention to all this ramble. As a woman, this is just insane!

    On the other hand, having been to Korea, I am not too surprised women do put so much work on the men (my foster mother was amazed my adoptive mother could work and take care of the family at the same time), but that is my opinion in general. Women also need to put some dedication into their family lives, it’s not a one way life, it required two to tango after all.

  77. Man, that’s just TOO MUCH!!! You can’t expect all of that from one person…. Jesus…. Personality is no.1. I don’t want a guy that treats me like s**t but has a super-shiny new car! Who cares about the damn car?????
    And, SOOZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, don’t worry!!!!!!! I went to an Arts School too….. Us crazy artists are the best!!! <3 <3

  78. Ashley Holland

    I’m American, and I don’t have ideals so much as preferences. I prefer a tall guy with long, shoulder-length or longer hair. My boyfriend has those qualities, but I would have loved him even without them. He’s sweet and the kind of guy that is shy until you get to know him, which I love. I feel lucky, and I don’t think I ever would have found him if I held men up to such strict standards.

  79. Small Yeti

    From a super short person’s perspective, maybe the girls want tall guys so they can reach things off the store shelf/kitchen cupboards, etc that we just can’t reach. It is a very handy and desirable quality and makes food shopping so much easier than climbing up the shelving like King Kong (which I have had to do in the past). Also it totally saves me having to get the step ladders out at home.

    *also my husband is super gorgeous and my best friend and I love him for lots of reasons other than his height*

  80. I guess here, everyone has their own ” ideal ” type but, I think it is not on the scale of the whole country.

    There are so many different people here with different opinions… Maybe people don’t really care or have a general “ideal type ” idea but rather everyone has their own…
    As for the college part, I think people don’t care where you went…I’m not sure…

  81. This sounds like what my parents have told me growing up. But not to the Korean extent of like studying abroad and that kind of stuff but the guy you decide has to go to good university and earn a lot of money and reliable. In other words he has to be rich. I just feel that I can be independent and lift my own weight in life. Its so sad and always argue with them when this subject come up. My little sister has gotten to the point that she agrees with them. She has even commented to me on couples and said things like “oh she is too good looking for him” or “I want to marry a rich guy”. Which all I can think is WTF because when I am looking for a boyfriend to date is “oh his nice, we get along well and he makes me happy”. I wouldn’t care how if my boyfriend is an art student wanting to open up a coffee shop or something high earning like a doctor. As long as his happy in what he is doing and passionate about it. It not something that crosses my mind as being so important that determines if I date a guy or not. It all just sounds so superficial.

  82. oh boy~ never thought of these sorts of things… i just met that one guy 3 years ago. It’s a one-sided love. I told him I liked him after I have moved to another country lol. he just wanted to be friends. We still are. buuuuuut there was never a point that i liked him cuz of those superficial things~~~~Andrew!! lol

  83. Renee

    …So, Korean women want a personal assistant?

  84. kawaii_candie

    really interesting TLDR guise!!

    It’s funny cuz it’s actually really different from Japan (and usually, a lot of cultural stuff is similar). Although over here, all the status stuff (does he have a prestigious job? did he go to a good uni? etc.) is way more present than in North American culture, it’s definitely not the norm, and and lots of “loser guys” can get married and have gfs. the most different thing, i think was the “family needs to live far away thing”. In Japan, since housing is so expensive, lots of people live with their family until their 30′s (or forever!) and sometimes even move in with the in-laws after getting married (I could never do that!!!). and families tend to butt-into the couple’s life ALL the time. lol. also having a car is kind of a non-issue since of all the trains that go everywhere, still, i guess if one did have a car, that would definitely be a bonus in the eyes of a materialistic girl…. and finally, the sex thing is a non-issue as well since japanese people seem to have sex exactly 0.05% of the time… (seriously, it’s sad…)

    some girls do have really weird/high standards for guys though. like there are girls who will date only a guy who buys them stuff all the time, or date a guy they don’t even like just to be able to say they have a bf… and girls who will date a white guy (no matter how monstruously ugly he is… and believe me, i’ve seen some odd couples…) just so they could have cute “half” babies, but generally, it’s nowhere near as bad as Koreans seem to be.

    i think that in Japan, there is no “ideal man” image because relationships are defined really differently here. the man was always the “provider” for the family, working too much and hardly ever home, so it doesn’t really matter if he’s handsome or if you get along since you pretty much never see him. which is kinda sad, if you ask me, but oh well. it’s changing a bit, but at a suuuuuper slow pace.

  85. I just want to say firstly that i am not attracted to buff men because all i can think is “MAN BOOBS”. Not sure if this is Simon’s fault or not.
    I can empathise a lot with the SKY University culture over in Korea. I studied briefly at SNU and honestly, for someone from Australia who has never been disadvantaged by not going to a “top university”, the “WOOOOOOOOOOOAH”s i got when i said i was studying at SNU were a surprise. I was always told that your university didn’t matter as long as you had relevant work experience, which is sort of not the case in Korea it seems.
    AND DATING CULTURE. Can someone tell all these Korean men who are tired of the high standards of Korean Women that during their obligatory 1yr overseas, they should find themselves a nice international girl who has more sense about what a happy relationship means.

  86. If Korean girls have such a specific “ideal type” of guy, do Korean guys have the same standards or different standards than their girl counterparts? SOOZEEEE~~ SIMON AND MARTINA~~~NASTIESS~~~ what do you guys think?

    I would also like to add on to the falling in love part XD I am from California, USA and I guess in America, we don’t really emphasize or specify who we would “ideally” want to fall in love with. For example, I don’t know anyone from the states that clearly specify what qualities their ideal person would be. There would be common ones like being tall and handsome, smart, funny, caring, but I have never encountered someone who specified down to jobs and manners with in-laws like that Korean girl. When I saw that, I was thinking, “What has the world come to?” Like. . .IF LOVE HAPPENS. . IT JUST HAPPENS. . ISN’T THAT RIGHT? It is understandable that people have an idea of who they would want to love. . .but when you love someone it happens. . .even if you plan everything out. . .if you feel something. . .go for it because NO ONE IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE GALAXY will fit your godly expectations. . .you will be. . .DUN DUN DUN *forever alone*

    Also. . .what should we fangirls do about falling in love with Korean idols? ;^; I just can’t D: the perfection *~* after seeing Infinite in real life at their “One Great Step” Concert in the States, I can’t fathom the feels XD <3

  87. Martinaaaaa, how do you keep your hair so soft and shiny looking? I’ve dyed my hair often in the past and it’s kind of frizzy…I miss my smooth shiny hair. D:

    • sorry for answering:/ but I have a good idea as to why her hair is so nice from experience :D I’m pretty sure that her blonde is natural and hasn’t been dyed so that’s why the quality of it is really good. The pink hair has been bleached from a darker blonde to a really light blonde. And since her hair is light to begin with, bleaching time isn’t very long so any damage is minimized, if any noticeable damage. I’m not sure if she has used any toners but I don’t think there would have been any reason to, and toners aren’t damaging. After all that she dyed her hair pink. The pink dye is most likely a semi- permanent. Rainbow colored semi-permanent dyes aren’t damaging at all and usually a bit conditioning. Rainbow colored hair dyes are tints and don’t put your hair through any damaging chemical changes. The only damage from having bright rainbow colored hair is bleaching it has to go through before. I bleached and dyed all my sister’s hair to a bright blue and I have done my own hair into multiple colors.

  88. The list is more than a bit ridiculous. I think the best way to put things into perspective, is to look at yourself first, and then reconsider your ideal type. A guy that meets that criteria doesn’t exist. If he did (which he doesn’t), why would he pick some picky average girl, when he could pick a girl with as many merits to her name as himself. There must be equality in the relationship. So yeah, I don’t expect too much of a guy, because I look at myself first (and then downgrade my expectations lol). I expect a nice personality, good heart, and shared values. Good looks, charisma, and general hotness, etc. they are a bonus, which of course I want, but hey there’s always plastic surgery :P Just kidding!!.. *cough*maybe*cough*

  89. Wow! That is so ridiculous what kind of person is actually capable of doing all of this shit. there isn’t enough time in the day to be able to do half the stuff these crazy chicks want!

  90. Based on this the ideal man must be a Superman! or Thor :DD

    Btw I also hear the opinion that a girl in Korea should date several guys simultaneously, so that she could choose a better option, is that true?

  91. Wow, that really does sound the perfect guy.

  92. i’m only 5ft tall so bring on the shorties.

  93. Sonwabile Sony Antonie

    This reminds of the list my 10-year-old made about her ideal husband(minus the sex part). Anyways, this list is really unrealistic. Financial security is obviously a must but the rest are just stupid details.

  94. for me…my ideal bf is part of the requirements stated, must have money ._.

  95. Here in Romania the girls are separated. There are normal girls that accept every type of guys and the girls that live for their looks. Those girls need men with a bank account full of money, a lot of expensive cars and some big properties. The men usually are very old but if they meet young guys with this qualities it’s perfect for them. They don’t care how the guy looks, they care for what he owns. That is why they live for their looks. This is all they do. For the guys they are a prize and they are very proud to show it everywhere. This is how it is. But the normal girls accept normal guys. It matters only if you feel something for that person. Love is important, not how much money he makes. :D

  96. LOVE IS THE MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  97. art school or not, i’m sure there’re tons of nasties who wants to date soo zee. trust me.

  98. According to my boyfriend, in Vietnam a guy has to own at least one moped to be considered dateable. I’m not sure if that’s just in the area where his extended family is from or what, but personally I lost my mind when he told me that.

    Speaking of losing my mind, Simon’s belt dance caused me to wake up my entire family. It is three in the morning. I hope you’re satisfied.

  99. I kinda wonder something though. Do we doom our relationships if what we are looking for is someone to make us happy? Because one won’t always be happy. There will be less than happy moments. So our we setting too unrealistic expectations as well?

  100. So what you’re saying is… MARTINA IS WATCHING HEIRS, TOO??? That might be the single most important fact I pulled from this video (right after the astonishing statement about girls preferring a tall jerk than a sweet shorty). Well, I shouldn’t be surprised. Y’all don’t have to wait 14+ hours to watch a drama because you live there! Much more convenient. (SO jealous.)

  101. Cara Rose

    mahh MARTINA! did you gut a turtleneck sweater to make an awesomely cute bunny hat by sewing up the necklilne?!?! … if so, genius!!

  102. hahahahahaha I wanna go to art school in Korea, does that mean that I won’t get a boyfriend?

    Haha I watch the heirs and it was sooooooo FUNNY when you said that!!! I died!!!

  103. I live in an Asian country. But since my country is extremely multiracial, the ideal types differ greatly. You have Race M not being really picky about the education, career health, financial stability etc. But your future spouse must be of the same religion. It really is a must. Just casually dating someone not of the religion is fine. Then you have Race C. Although an excellent formal education is very highly looked upon, as long as you prove that you have some kind of smarts, all is well. Race I also puts great importance on education and choice of career, not so much the looks or height or blabla. Race K is YOLO hehehe. But I mean that in a good way.

    Disclaimer: I am speaking of these things very generally.

    • Geri Dong-Kwon Monteiro

      Singapore? What the heck is race K though? We’re known as Eurasians.

      • Nah man. The neighbouring country. Well, to be more specific, Borneo lol. And I am not talking about Eurasians…

        • Malaysia? Brunei? Either way I was born in Borneo yay!! Borneo nasties club!! And K must be the native people?? But I actually forgot what they were called… T_T my memory so bad.. and I was so small when I lived there…

        • Yeah.. Native. I am Race C though hehehehe.

        • LOL I was Race foreigner in Brunei.. cause my parents are not from there lol. YAY multicultural diversity!!

  104. SK is a pressure cooker of a society.

  105. Kielley Bade

    XD Ironically as you’re talking about the height thing, that’s my singular physical requirement. They must be taller than me. Although given I’m not exactly a tall girl, I don’t think it’s too much to ask for. :P
    other than that, damn these are a lot of expectations. Scary ._.’ Very scary.

  106. andrea chan

    “Show me your charming smile!”
    “EURGHHHH.”
    Nailed it.

  107. Have you done a video about the same topic but about Korean women… just curious. I also think that this list is for superficial people that have no depth. Of course someone who is always concerned about the new trends, what society is doing (ie jumping off a cliff or something), and what others think… then yes – this list is perfect. But who wants a partner in your relationship to be like that? That is very 1 dimensional. This isn’t just everywhere… I am sure in LAX or NYC or Miami – you can find shallow american men/women concerned with the same 1 dimensional bullsh$t. When you live our life, you need to prioritize your sh#t. ya know? Also – I’m live in JLP – ROK… I very much understand what you mean… I see very 1 dimensional women/men here.

  108. Why does this remind me of Pride & Prejudice so much? “You know six? I am surprised you know any. Such a person would be truly fearsome to behold.” (paraphrased, probably badly)

  109. daniela campo

    hahahahah i am such a fan girl hahaha i loved the fact that siwon is the one in the image thingy before you press play hahahahahaha *he is perfect* … but seriously i’ll just stick to the really basic stuff in a guy, like: he must like me, be nice to me, kind, good sense of humor, nice temper guy, i do like tall guys, something that i think is important is that i find him attractive (he doesnt have to be the hottest guy in the world but i do have to be attracted to him ^^) and the biggest thing is that we need to be compatible….

  110. toec = test on english comprehension?

  111. ha omg. if i were a guy born in korea, i would commit suicide. the list just never ends doesn’t it?
    and some are pretty… unreasonable. ㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷ

  112. Errgh… sadly, I know some American women who are pretty much like this as well. And frankly, would probably also prefer the guy has no personality, since he’d obviously outshine her then. ;)

  113. OMG id get an art school guy over any of this!!!… A hot korean artschool guy, nothing sexier exists.

  114. Wow….perhaps not surprising that South Korea has one of the world’s lowest birthrates. Like reallllly low — I think I remember a chart – out of over 200 countries listed there were only 3 or 4 that were lower. Finding a man who has (solidly) any dozen of these qualities would be a needle-in-haystack scenario.

  115. I wanna see your new tats!!

  116. So, basically, they’re asking for a perfect non-existent guy, or a rich CEO, but I doubt any of those CEO’s fit most of that description. Not even my Seungho fits in there and he’s quite perfect already *sigh*

    “I’d like someone tall and swarthy, maybe in a band, who loves cooking as much as I do.” <———— I'm with you in this one 10000%. It's not exactly my description of my "ideal guy" (don't like cooking) but it's close. I mean, why should I be so picky about a guy if I'm not "perfect" myself, we all have flaws and I'd rather be with someone who's fun to hang out with than with someone impossible. I'm already picky enough with height (guys aren't very tall here and I like tall guys OTL) and not over 180cm either, just taller than me, I mean, if he's over 180cm that would be too much. I think 180-182cm is the tallest I'd expect my "ideal" guy to be.

    TL;DR- I'm not too picky, and that list is too much.

  117. I think these expectations are very unrealistic. Girls need to go beyond the superficial stuff and look more into someone’s personality also rather than looks and material stuff. It is not like the girls are perfect either. A korean guy friend also told me he is not interested to date korean girls because they have such high expectations, and they expect the guys to do everything for the girl but less the other way round.

  118. You said in a previous TL:DR that Korea was something like a mix between the technology of the future, with the mindset of the 1950s…so, what is the big surprise about these “standards” and the HUGE emphasis on the “stability”?. I would love to hear the opinions of married korean women, to make the a comparison…that would be awesome!

  119. I am teaching here in China at the moment, and many of my students ask if I have a boyfriend back in America. When I tell them I don’t have one they always tell me that they will find me a handsome Chinese man with house and car so that I can marry him. Most of my, female, students have said that their consider other things but their parents tell them that their future husbands should have a good job, lots of money, a house, and a good car. It is interesting to me to see the amount of cross cultural ideas between China, Korea and Japan especially when it comes to significant others. :)

  120. hellooooo ^_^ My question may sound a little strange, but I’d like to know about funerals in Korea and what are the differences between American

  121. Yay! somewhere around the globe I….yes…I am NOT picky!!! All these years of dealing with judgements of others who considered my tall-fun-compatible-faithful standard too picky were avenged in a sec….I would not even dare to ask for a drop dead beautiful man with a loaded wallet to pay all my desires (though I would not complain if I do find one!). =D
    Pd: I forgot to add nasty to the list….oohhh Junsu (or Junsu alikes =P) where art thou!?! please submit your application!

  122. I don’t know if someone already tell you this, but TOEIC is Test of English for International Communication.
    It’s like a test for your english skill, regarding writing, reading, listening, and speaking. LOL XD~ It’s a basic requirement to apply a job here in Indonesia.

  123. Ohhhhh so that’s why our Korean consultants (a researcher from a Korean university) always starts a conversation with “Hello, my name is so and so, and I graduated from Seoul National University even though I currently work at this other university”. It has always struck me as odd, but I’ve never dared to ask in case I would offend him! In fact, I think he is still single… maybe its become a habitual introduction for whenever he meets the ladies? Interesting…

    • I do so whenever I am introduced to a new collegue. I think we are expected to do so too, beacuse my mentor tends to do so for me whenever he introduces me directly….so it might be social convention?

      • Ah okay, so this is a norm then? My bad, I thought just the guys did that. Hehe. Thanks for the info though. I’m Malaysian, btw. In professional settings, we usually just introduce ourselves by what our business or sector we belong to, and maybe our positions if necessary.. which I think is normal elsewhere too. To be fair, I guess declaring which university you graduated from gives you credibility doesn’t it :)

        • I guess so. Actually, until I read your comment, I had not thought about it that much. It is kind of weird, though. I work with researchers and college instructors, so it might be related to that. Plus, my mentor has travelled a lot, so maybe it is a habit he has picked up and we all just adjusted to….
          pd: getting a university degree here is kind of like….well hard, so most people have a sense of pride about it. =)

  124. I’m living in Korea and dating a Korean guy. One of the reasons he said he wanted to date a foreginer was because Korean girls put too much pressure on their boyfriends and its too difficult to meet those requirements.

  125. I think this ideal type list can easily be compared to most around the world. In the end though, we usually go with whoever makes us happy, which is the real ideal to strive towards.

    For me, there are the guys who seem attractive and then the ones that are “okay” when you first meet and then become incredibly attractive once you’ve gotten to really know them. The last guy I dated was initially attractive, then one date after the next diminished that. He had a solid job, was financially sound, good car, I liked his mom and we had some interests in common. Why didn’t I just marry this guy? I didn’t like how he treated his mom or how he talked about his other family. Family is important to me, so it became a deal breaker.

  126. lady_kire

    My boyfriend knows some female classmates who expect the guy to carry their purse/bag ALL the time, pay for their food ALL the time, and buy them expensive jewelry…. He told me that those classmates were either never in a relationship or were in one that didn’t last long…

    A lot of what Korean girls expect applies to Chinese culture as well. It gets to the point where sometimes, the girls become too picky/bitchy where they expect too much from the guy. But it really depends on where in China though. My boyfriend, from northern China, told me how his cousin is told not to date a skinny, short, less manly man. Basically, a southerner. However, as someone whose family is from that region, my expectation is a skinny man with fashion.

    Guys are also picky as well. A lot of them won’t date a girl who isn’t beautiful, or skinny enough. Then again I think they go for chest size as well…

    Strangely, my boyfriend’s relatives seem alright with him dating me even though I am technically southern chinese. They are concerned that I’m not going for a degree in business, but I think they know that I don’t make any demands for him to buy me things and that I don’t care that he’s not tall, handsome, skinny, or rich.

    What I don’t get is that a lot of people expect the relationship to be lovey dovey 24/7. Like don’t be mean to each other ever. Well, my boyfriend isn’t perfect and we always call each other names and we admit how flawed we are, but we never act all 24/7 lovey dovey. If we did, one of us (most likely me) would go insane. We don’t have many couple pictures together, and we don’t care to show the world our love. My cousin is the opposite and shows a pic of her and her boyfriend every month…

  127. so not only is korea’s attitude stuck in the 50s what they look for a partner is stuck there as well?

  128. WOW,I would never have guessed some of these standards that Korean girls have,I personally like shorter guys too…Am I weird…But this is my first time seeing such a long list of characteristics a guy has to have…Ouch…

  129. Jessica Nunes

    I think that fixations for tall guys is a mundial, who doesn’t like one? but seriously what is important is a good man who likes you, if we could find a good, tall and gorgeus man that loves you even better ahahaha

  130. Honestly, I think I fall in love with personality more than looks. Sure my friends can point to a picture of a guy and I’ll be like ok yeah he’s normal lookin… but if I can see his personality in real life, that’s what makes me like em and think they’re attractive.

  131. My God… Those are some high standars… But… Is it wrong that I feel kind of proud of my boyfriend now?
    I mean he meats a lot of my standars and I didn’t even knew I had those standars until I read the post (〃▽〃)

    Besides some of the points seem kind of valid… But others were just ridiculous. I’ve never really mind looks, I like people for who they are and not how much they earn. The way I was raised doesn’t allowed me to be so superficial.

    I kind expect some of those standars, I’ve just a couple of dramas but you could see these things in the background. In my country friends won’t really ask you about your boyfriend/girlfriend income, unless you’re about to get marry and even then it isn’t something so common to ask. You ask them if they are happy, if they fight or not, how they get along with their families and then mock them a bit… But in the end is all cultural views.

    Thank you guys for this video, I was feeling down but this really cheer me up (◡‿◡✿)

  132. I can kinda understand the SKY university thing. Not that my ideal partner has to have gone to a specific university, but him having gone to a university of a certain type probably means he is of a certain intellect that I can connect with, and we may have the same nerdy interests. Also, asian stereotype here but the people who go to university tend to be a certain type and have certain life beliefs that fit better with mine. I am totally open to falling in love with someone who isn’t all of the above but I think the SKY university thing probably is just the expectation of being able to connect intellectually with someone.

  133. I think a lot of these things are a bit universal: Tall, good-looking, makes money, good in bed. If you watch north american dating shows there are girls who have those check lists for guys (or vice versa) and if you don’t meet every check point they you are gone. Like Martina had said, in I think one of your other dating videos, shallow people are going to meet shallow people and have shallow times together.
    I think the satirical blog post, with a few tweaks, could apply to any country. Change up the test, university and company names and this could be about French, Russian, American or South African young people looking for a mate.

    What I’m more intrigued at is the whole ‘blind date culture’. You guys mentioned it before that in Korea you never really see two random people exchanging numbers after they just met at a coffee shop or something. I think you explained that in order to date someone you had to set up a date via asking one of their friends, as opposed to asking that person out directy. From what it looks like to me, a person’s dating pool is limited to the extent of people your friends can help connect you with. Maybe Soo Zee can elaborate on how that works exactly.

    Alternatively, is there much speed dating culture in Korea?

    Once again, fun discussion topic. And Martina, I hope Meemers isn’t trying to cuddle into your fresh ink.

    • Dating some “random” person off the street is considered a low class thing to do in SK. But that does happen. In such cases, usually closest friends make up a cover story for public consumption, so that parents don’t get embarrassed.

      People connect through their friends, family, work, school, religious organizations or even “professional” match makers(=mostly ahjummas who has nothing better to do).

      • Ah, so the connections are not as limited as I thought.
        I’m not sure how I feel about this. Part of me wants to be “Oh No! What about those moments where you just see someone really attractive or interesting and want to pursue that?”. But then again, I’m really not much of a romantic so I don’t put all too much faith in people finding the love of their lives on a random fate chance meeting. Another part of me though does like that you have a support network to help you look for a partner. If you have good friends who know what you are like and what you need, they can do a good job at weeding out the creepers or bad people. The catch is, if your friends do not have your best interests at heart or completely ignore what kinds of things you like, then it becomes a bit of a nightmare.

        Anyway, Thanks xNoirX for explaining that.

  134. Natsu W.

    Most of these standards relate into other cultures too because of in Chinese culture (including Chinese American culture), there’s a lot of expectations for both girls and guys although it’s more of the girls being nitpicky about their guys while the guys are just more interested in looks and a certain type of personality which I can’t recall of right now.

    But really, it’s the girls that are like “oh I want my boyfriend to have a good job, have his own place, own a car, have money, be taller than me, etc etc” and it really confuses me because the guy is only going to be your BOYFRIEND, not your HUSBAND. Your relationship might not even last that long and you’re expecting all of this from your guy? Really?

  135. I heard someone say before that Americans are super obsessed with being happy, while many other cultures focus on more tangible practical things. I can see how it plays into this. We are all about love and warm fuzzy feelings, where as it seems that they are more concerned with apparent status.

  136. Hi Simon and Martina! Martina – your tattoo is beautiful! And you two are so cute together! And I have a question for the next TLDR! I hope I’m asking in the right place…

    What are your general thoughts on differences in fan group culture in the kpop scene vs. other music scenes? Kpop fans seem WAY more intense than anything else I’ve ever encountered. Why is that? In my book, a fan is someone who likes a band’s music and likes the band. End of story. But most kpop fans seem more dedicated. And then there are sasaengs who fall into a completely different category far removed from fan….

    And I’m also really curious about why fans ship kpop idols together. I am sort of new to kpop and kpop fan groups, so for me it came across as a little weird when I first saw fans doing this. Shipping fictional characters I totally get, but shipping real people seems… creepy. (Just a first impression!)

    Anywho, that’s my question. Thanks for introducing me to Korean culture! I love your TLDRs! :D

    • I would like to know the answer to this as well.
      But when it comes to shipping… its not just kpop fans. I know fans of One Direction and Jonas Brothers (those were weird like wow were those weird) they all do it too. I don’t really know all the other “western” band/boy bands/girl bands (which is actually pretty sad but eh… kpop fan for lyfe!) but I’m pretty sure they all do it too.
      This would have been a much more educated reply if it wasn’t for all my personal imput. But I give it a human side ()^ㅅ^()

      • Thanks for the clarification! Yeah, I’m not that into western mainstream music either (fellow kpop fan 4 lyfe!!! definitely not a sad place to be! :) ) so I guess it’s not surprising that I wasn’t aware of this!

  137. honestly having been in college for the past 4 years other than appearance and how well we get along with each other i haven’t really thought about the other stuff

    in college you’re most likely the similar socioeconomic levels and going after similar goals
    the real world is so much more different

  138. When talking to my male Korean friends (29-39 years old), a lot of
    them say that they can’t get married to their girlfriends, even if they
    want to, because they don’t have enough money to afford a house, which
    the girlfriend’s parents require. For the people who don’t own a car,
    they say it’s not possible for them to get a girlfriends. One friend
    who’s already married, kept telling me that the first thing girls ask if
    one of their friend gets a boyfriend is “What kind of car does he
    have?” (German apparently being the best one) , rather than “is he nice
    to you?”. Apparently, there was a TV show with a girl from Yonsei Uni,
    who claimed that any male under 180cm were losers, the ones who didn’t
    have cars were losers and so on.
    Due to all this, my boyfriend’s
    parents love me because of the simple fact that I’m not a Korean girl. I
    don’t want him to buy me a house, I don’t care that he doesn’t have a
    car, he’s not even considered handsome in the Korean society, but to me,
    he’s just amazing. Coming from the land of obsessing gender equality,
    also knows as Sweden, we’ve sure had our culture clashes (me wanting to
    treat him dinner, not allowing him to carry my bags and so on), we’re taking the best from each other’s cultures and creating something awesome :) Someone should tell the majority of Koreans that money won’t buy you happiness.

    • I really loved this comment!

    • Couple of things:

      1) When Martina and I got married, we were broke as hell and mired in student debt. That didn’t matter. All that mattered is that we’re finally together. We were old fashioned and didn’t live together until we were married, so we were just happy to be married, regardless of being houseless, carless, jobless, and moneyless.

      2) You’re from Sweden in Korea? There aren’t many of you here, and – according to our Swedish friend – you all know each other very well. If so, do you know Angelina?

      Yeah!

      • irritablevowel

        I think the money focus is leftover anxiety. I was talking to this woman once whose ex is 1st generation Korean-American. She said one of the things that was hard for her to understand was his parents focus on financial matters, but then they would say things like, “You don’t know what it’s like to be really poor,” and would drop stories from their childhoods that would leave her open mouthed and in no position to respond without sounding like a first class first world diva. South Korea is a first world country *now*, but it wasn’t when a lot of these parents and grandparents were young. That memory is likely pretty fresh. It’s like when you talk to an American who grew up during the Great Depression, and they say things like “Save your money! You never know what’s going to happen. I ate lard and bread for lunch everyday when I was a kid”. Yummy.

      • Isn’t that what makes a couple stronger? :) Being able to go through tough times, may it be living in a horrible apartment, having no money, or whatever, just doing your best together, supporting each other, then when those times pass by, being able to look back and laugh about it. We spent roughly 5 months in a guesthouse with walls as thin as paper, together with 10 other people :’) It was a nightmare at times, but we laugh about it now!
        All creds to you guys for coming this far :) I wish you could promote that attitude to the young people in Korea though.

        Well, there’s actually not a lot of Swedes… in Sweden either. Yeah, so, whether it’s in Korea or somewhere else in the world, someone usually knows someone who knows someone’s cousin, who knows someone’s cat, who knows you x) And while I’m with a Korean, we both live in Japan, so unfortunately I don’t know her (or maybe I do!?). I have however heard of some Swede when I was in Korea!

      • That is the way to go :) I’m from the usa, and my husband is from Guatemala. We met online in a chat (not searching, it was a japanese chat room for learning the language). I was still in highschool when he proposed. EVERYONE I knew was against me going to marry him because of my age (of course I graduated first) and because he is from a 3rd world country with no property or ongoing career at the time. Well, I ignored them, I went to his country, we got married, and that was in 2005. Now we have a 4 year old little girl and are back in the USA and hoping to buy the house we are renting in the next couple of years :) So I’d say I made a good choice in ignoring them :P

        On the other hand, I have a friend (keeping this info very basic incase that person’s family happen to read this because they know me) who is of a strict religion, and moved abroad and decided to marry an asian person. That person’s father said me friend could not marry his child until my friend purchased a house (in their country). They are married now, unbeknownst to my friends family because of the super strict religion and culture they are from. To be honest, it’s a miracle they got married at all considering all the obstacles. But I see how different the situation is for every single person, particularly when throwing different cultures into the mix.

    • That’s exactly what I was thinking!! These Korean girls must be completely flawless. But it got me thinking, that in Western society, its kinda the opposite – i.e. there’s enormous pressure on the women to be the “ideal” for the guy, even if he’s far from perfect himself (thinkabout all those Hollywood romantic comedies, where the gorgeous girl falls for the unattractive man-child…)

      I went to co-ed highschool, with a larger proportion of males, and they were constantly discussing the looks of the girls (and not in a complimentary way, but in a nasty, horrible, derogatory way – which I don’t want to repeat here). I thought it was just my school, but going into uni and everywhere I look in popular culture, it’s like the girl has to fulfill these impossible ideals: slender with zero body fat but ample boobs, tall but not too tall, pretty but sexy at the same time, wears “natural looking make-up” on flawless skin (this one I find hilarious!! don’t we put on makeup to hide our flaws), smart & funny, dresses well so not too slutty & not too conservative, demure when the situation is right but can be the life of the party, good education…..blah, blah, blah, blah….Now as a korean girl living in Australia, this is very very disheartening.

      I’m thinking that maybe I should move to Korea, where I would take any nice Korean guy. The only criteria he needs to fill is that he’s funny and laughs at my jokes (even though we both know I’m not funny!) BTW, martina I think you are totally gorgeous!!

    • lmao I love how you said we obsess over gender equality… (It’s true though) How different is gender equality in korea from a swedish person’s point of view?

      • Sweden being one of the world’s top equal countries (together with our Scandinavian neighbours), while Korea is being one of the least equal countries in the world, one might say it’s EXTREMELY different :) To sum it up, I want a boyfriend, not a pet or slave. I don’t want him to buy me stuff, carry my things, always do what I want to do and so on. He’s my best friend, I want to travel, do crazy stuff, and just spend an awesome time together. Sometimes I pay, sometimes he pays and so on!
        He told me that he read a blog post about a Korean girl dating a Swedish guy, and she had left her bags on the door step for him to carry with him as she was waiting for them to going to go out shopping. He just walked past her stuff without noticing, and apparently she was really angry about it :P
        … I don’t even celebrate valentines day.

        • Jackie Outlaaw

          no Valentine’s? awww :(
          that holiday was to commemorate the love between couples, not buy things.
          you don’t have to spend money to celebrate that day!

        • Yeah, that’s the thing, I love my boyfriend every day! Hence also the reason why I don’t care for 100 days anniversaries and alike. We do however surprise each other with random acts of kindness and smootch every now and then :) I like it better that way.
          As a little boy in a Swedish newspaper once said, “Valentine is stupid, you should love each other everyday. If anything, Valentines day can be the day when you dislike each other”.

        • Jackie Outlaaw

          hah, that’s a very smart comment made by a little boy.
          i think valentines can be like a second marriage/relationship anniversary, lol.
          maybe it’s because i have never been in a relationship and understand all the things with couples, sigh

        • I’ve never dated anyone around Valentine’s Day and I would love it if I met someone I really liked and we celebrated it. I suppose the grass is greener on the other side.

        • Shay

          That’s how my boyfriend and I feel about Valentine’s Day and anniversaries too. If we want to celebrate that we’re in love I’d rather we spontaneously went on out for lunch on a random Saturday or stayed in and had dinner on a weeknight. Those are things we share with each other, not everyone else in the world on a set day.

        • I remember my ex-boyfriend once came home with flowers because it was Valentines day. I told him that I was really happy about it, but next time the reason could rather be “It’s tuesday!” or “I just felt like it!” rather than a special date. I really don’t have the need to get my love confirmed on days other people say we should be romantic.

        • But what are Korean expectations of a girl’s behavior? have there been issues in reverse?

    • correction: that girl is from Hongik Uni.

    • also, i think your boyfriends parents like you because you aren’t demanding, not because you are a foreigner.
      if you are vain and spoiled, they probably won’t like you at all, no matter what your skin tone is.

      • Actually, they didn’t like me at first, most likely because I was a foreigner. The first meeting was horrible, in any way you could possibly imagine, like complete catastrophe, especially as I don’t speak Korean well at all.
        After I wrote them a letter in Korean, apologizing and explaining that our cultures are different, and so on and so forth, they absolutely loved me :) I write letters to them when I have time, and everytime they receive my letters, they’ll call my boyfriend and ask when the marriage will happen. That they like me the because of the fact that I’m not Korean is actually their own words, though I do agree with you there, there’s hopefully more to it than that!

        • Jackie Outlaaw

          that’s great! and yes, hopefully they saw more than a pale skin and blonde hair.
          and i can actually see them freak out on the first meeting.
          korean parents tend to think that foreign girls are more ‘improper’?????
          yeah… they are likely to think of them as ‘bad’….
          good thing they like you a lot

    • I’ll share this with my mom, I know her answer to most of this will be “Is he nice to you? Then go, please, be happy.” There’s no way she would have even touched this level of scrutiny.

  139. Does age play into the idealism at all? Is it unusual to have a large age gap within a couple, or for a younger man to be in a relationship with an older woman? (I’m looking at you, SHINee…you and your pretty noonas…)

  140. I actually don’t care what kind of body a guy has. :/ As long as we get along, he loves me, and I love him, that’s my ideal type.

  141. This was really interesting. I do see this some with my kids, but my older kids are more into working themselves I think. Iunno though. Maybe I should ask… ^^

  142. Victor Ha

    Hmm… very interesting nuances of ideal standards. It seems as if the idea of having a standard or limit to any subject is very prevalent in Korean culture as previously mentioned at an earlier TL;DR about Korean beauty standards. Maybe that’s why some Koreans are very meticulous about such subjects which leads to a sense of pressure and superficiality. I’m scared to see what are the standards about the ideal Korean women. <- I REQUEST THIS FOR THE NEXT TL;DR!

    P.S.- Thank you for those charismatic smiles. #USNasties

  143. actually i know plenty of girls who like skinny twigs haha

  144. I think in any culture, we have ideal types, but that list is a little too overboard… it’s like she wants a copy of herself… assuming the writer of the blog is a woman. The author would be better off cloning herself… who wants to date themselves? not me… kkkkk

  145. WOW.. the are very strict about love…

    i just think than the ideal type is the man who brings the best of you and make you a better person…

    and if is korean…is even better hahahaha

  146. I heard there are many men against a feminist group(?) called yeo-seoung-boo in Korea. Do men in Korea oppose feminism in general? And are there strict gender roles in Korea? Lastly, are there any other “types” of people that either men or women hate?

    • That’s infamous “여성가족부”, which is known as Ministry of Gender Equality and Family(MOGEF) in English. Among international kpop fans they are known for random censoring of MVs. Inside SK, it is one of the most controversial government department due to politics revolving around it.

  147. Omg. If someone says I’m picky ever again, I’ll direct them to this TL:DR lmao!
    Please tell me that the next TL:DR is about the Ideal Korean Woman. (Even though I’m terrified to find out what superhuman powers we’re supposed to have aside from boobs.)

    • Boobs, great long hair, thin but still have J-Lo’s curves, a melodic voice, intelligent wit, ability to whip up a 5 course meal every day in high heels, be savy and super polite, a great dancer, leap tall buildings in a single bound. And oh have a baby or two and bounce right back after pregnancy. It’s all just scary when you think about it.

  148. Well the thing about ideals is that they are WAYYYY out there. Sure i’d like to meet a dreamy hot guy with a 10 pack and a heart melting smile and a great education and a great job and a great everything, but uh, where the hell would a perfect person exist and why on earth would they pick me to be with? hahaha, i’d rather have a best friend who is silly and fun that i can spend my life with cuddling and watching nerdy things, if he is carved out of marble by the gods and his eyes sparkle and his pecks can dance, then by all means that is a plus. :)

  149. thisisjustforfunval

    Finally finished the blog post and I think I went catatonic for a few minutes while reading all the “desirable” traits. That is an insanely unrealistic list of traits and doesn’t really say much towards personality and emotional compatibility. Makes me wonder what the guys look for in girls, although I have a slight idea hearing male idol after male idol talk describe their ideal types.

  150. Korea never ceases to amaze me with their “ideals”. Ideal face. Ideal type. Ideal body. No wonder there are so many people who are hypersensitive to their appearances there. Though I wish they’d come to realize that there isn’t and will never be a perfect “type” of person in the world because everyone has his/her own imperfections. You just gotta find someone whose imperfections work well together with your own imperfections.

  151. Ok, so my next question is what’s the ideal Korean woman?

  152. You know, the 4th paragraph sounds more like a gay best friend for me haha~ (not at all bashing gay people, but come on, shopping AND gossips AND women’s magazine?!)

  153. Expectations are great to have – until they become unrealistic. Being a university student, talk often turns to boys especially because I have a roommate who is engaged and another who loves Kpop and Kdramas just as much as I do. When we are serious, we do focus more on personality, character and our relationship with the significant other but we don’t think it is unreasonable for it to be someone we find attractive and can provide for us. It is not uncommon at my school for a person to have a non-negotiable and negotiable lists.

  154. Can the next TL;DR be the ideal woman? :D

  155. ummm why would i want my boyfriend to read women’s magazines? lol

    • A lot of the list sounded very much like they want an ultra metrosexual man. Loves shopping, has great fashion sense, is in shape, will go to coffee shops and gossip with you and read women’s magazines as well. No descriptions like “can crack puny humans over one knee” or anything like that.

      • there is something to be said for the “cracking puny humans over one knee” ability in a man. <3 i have girl friends for the other stuff.

        • AzureShade

          ahahahaha! this reminds me of something I wrote in an “about me” blurb. I wrote “I like having a man around to fight the big battles… like killing spiders.” (at the time i was talking about my, then, current boyfriend. Sadly, he wasn’t so good at killing spiders, it was a deal breaker.) :P

          In my opinion, much more important than gossip or women’s magazines.

        • Cassie Davis

          Too true. Although I like to think of myself as a liberated and independent woman, there are just some things that I don’t want to deal with (like spider disposal and household maintenance). Plus, being a rather solid and well-built woman, I definitely prefer a man who is 99.9% sure beat me in an arm wrestling competition. :D (although on a good day, I reckon I could beat my current bf lol)

      • here in Detroit… we call guys like that “b**ch made”… That doesn’t even sound like a man.

  156. dinasore

    I think it’s pretty common for Asian cultures to value education and economic stability–it shows that you’ll be able to support the family and kind of lends itself to the girl being a future housewife/dependent. My parents for example, expect me to get married with someone in the same profession, who makes the same or more than me. And it’s unfortunate but that seems to be the only ideal son-in-law that they see lol Another thing is the tendency to compare to see who’s “better at life” and these are the things that are discussed/bragged about.

    Dramas seem to perpetuate these ideals too! Making these characteristics seem more important than their terrible personality.

    The ideals about looks make me think about plastic surgery and how even guys get stuff done.
    Some of the stuff is REALLY specific like shopping bags and driving carefully lol it makes it seem like guys aren’t expected to be nice/gentlemanly so these become requirements…if that makes sense.

  157. i mean while this list is really specific… its not that far off i feel in America… people in general are really impressed with ivy league graduates (definitely the women are more impressed abt male graduates than the other way around i would say) which usually leads to a partner who is financially stable but by no means is that the American standard for an “ideal man” and if you are going SOLELY by those standards (and not by anything else like personality and relationship qualities), then you will be referred to as a golddigger lol

  158. Hahah that’s funny cuz I’m doing a project right now in my gender class. and I’m doing my project on Asian beauty vs Western beauty so I was trying to figure out the ideal standard of beauty in both regions. So this video came out at a good time, even though it’s just the Korean standard haha.

  159. Oh another thing I’ve heard Korean guys mention before is that many Korean girls won’t compliment their boyfriend’s looks. So realistically the average girl isn’t going to end up with a super handsome guy. Realistically they will end up with an average looking guy – but according to some Korean guys a lot of girls won’t let it go. They will never ever tell their boyfriend that they are cute or handsome and will even tell their boyfriend to their face that they are ugly.

    For me in Australian culture I feel like it’s normal in a relationship to compliment your partner – even if you know that by normal standards they aren’t the most attractive person ever – isn’t it part of the relationship to say “oh you are so cute” or “you look very handsome today!”

    I’ve had a few experiences myself where Korean girls have outright told me that my husband is not very good looking and that I’m too pretty to be with him. WTF….

    • pffft, mr gwon is a cutie.

    • I’ve had the same problem, my boyfriend was told by a CLERK that I was too pretty for my boyfriend.
      Horrible attitude… _I_ find my boyfriend extremely handsome, so when he asks me if I still like him because his face is big, or his eyes are small, I always reply that I like him because of it :)

      • Same! The features that many Korean girls don’t like that my husband has – are things that attracted me to him. He gets way more compliments in Australia about his looks… but besides from that, the main reason why I married him is because of his personality anyway!

        • Cyber_3

          This goes both ways too. (I am white-ish). Back in high school, I had boyfriends from several different ethnicities in Toronto and I wasn’t considered much above average in looks but I had to beat the Asian guys off with a stick (don’t be nasty!). Something about my look, I don’t know what it was……

    • oh my goodness! i don’t know if i could handle people telling me something like that without getting angry. plus mr. gwon is really handsome. i hope he doesn’t take what they say seriously!

    • I have had many experiences with my CT when she would out right say her husband is not good looking! They also met on a bind date…as did almost all of the Korean women teacher’s I’ve talked to about their husbands.

    • And also, when you like someone, when you really like them, they just look good to you. I mean you know they are not handsome or pretty but you like looking at them and they look good and attractive if you know what I mean.

      It’s not that the love glasses just suddenly made them gorgeous, they just made them attractive and you like looking at them. But if these girls just end up with these guys for those standards, it’s no wonder they cannot bring themselves to compliment them, if that IT factors is not even there in the first place.

      As for the last part, it doesn’t surprise me. You should tell them to stuff it. If he is a great guy that makes you happy what matter does something so banal and superfluous have?

    • Cyber_3

      I don’t know……it may be a cultural thing to diss your boyfriend/husband as a kind of teasing thing (I’m not saying that this is always the case) but I had a super sweet taiwanese best friend who would always make some derogatory comment about her (white) husband’s big nose, or otherwise, right in front of him too, and she seemed to think that this was “pet-like” (I’m not sure how to say this? lovey-dovey talk?). I had other asian friends that would be similar (though none from Korea), I would sure be interested in hearing if this is a thing or it really IS meant to keep your husband in his place.

      • Of all the Korean guys I’ve heard talk about this none of them thought it was a cute thing or liked it. Individual relationships have their own making fun of talk, my husband and I have jokes about each other’s looks but I think it has to be mutually accepted. Seriously telling your boyfriend that he is not good looking is not lovey dovey, especially when he might already be feeling the pressure from all the high expectations. That’s just my view from what I’ve seen.

        • Cyber_3

          Whoa, I’m not saying that _I_ thought it was cute, I definitely thought it was weird and kind of mean but he seemed to have grown used to it. It also wasn’t just my friend, I went to a very Asian-centric high school and there were other girls who were the same. This was back in the 90s though. My husband cannot take any teasing AT ALL so sometimes I have to be very careful not to hurt his feelings since I grew up in a very teasing family. My only criteria for a mate was someone who made me feel happy and that could be my partner in crime (figuratively speaking). I guess I ended up lucky that he’s also tall, gorgeous, very intelligent, artistic, adventurous, witty and clever, is a great Dad and teacher for our son, has a stable job, and rides a cool motorcycle and adores me too. Those lists are more for Victorian-style teenagers who want to marry someone without actually getting to know them first and don’t really understand what relationships are about.

      • I don’t know. I’m Mexican and in my culture we give each other pet names SOMETIMES because of the flaws that we have. For example, I’m dark skinned so my family always called me “prieta” or “morena” (dark skinned girl). My sister was chubby so my family always called her “gordita” (fat or chubby girl) we just took it as pet names and took no offense to it. Of course if a random person called us this and did it in an ugly or rude tone… we would take offense to it. Now that I think of it, growing up our parents would talk to each other and laugh about our wierd looks with each other in front of us. Any Mexicans out there with similar parents? Or is this just my family and my family’s friends?

    • That’s kind of shitty. I know a lot of Koreans are very honest with their opinions but that seems over the line regardless of culture. As for me, if I ever date another Korean girl, I can take solace in the fact that there is at least one person in Korea who thought I was handsome enough for my girlfriend. Random cab driver in Seoul, I’ll always remember your kind words! Well, he was the only person who told me in English. My girlfriend told me that her friends approved her choice but I don’t speak Korean well, so I can’t verify. Still, your story and others in the comments makes me wonder if the same expectation is applied to foreign men dating Korean women

    • I remember once in a club in Atlanta like 10 years ago – yes, reminiscing here – I met this gorgeous woman who looked like Naomi Campbell married to a guy who looked like Woody Allen. She saw my shock, and laughed saying, “Most people think he looks like a troll.” She proceeded to tell me how awesome he was as a person, and how he’d helped her out in a tough time etc. But generally, she was laughing at how surprised I was at her being married to him.

  160. Hoooly crap, does a man like this even exist?! The only way you’re going to get a guy like that is if he’s actually a cyborg or something. D: Seriously, It was actually overwhelming to read all of that, I can’t even imagine having so many expectations for a man I want to date, and it’s horrible to imagine being in the position of having those things expected of myself. Thankfully not everyone thinks that way, but the fact that the such ridiculous expectations exist at all is pretty disturbing.

  161. I’m from America……soooooo we do what we want! lol

  162. Wow……Good thing people “settle”, or we’d be looking at a nation of single people! :P

  163. Well….That all seems reasonable. As I was reading that I was just waiting to see “be able to fly” somewhere on that list.

    I also can’t help but notice that nothing on that list points towards this ‘ideal man’ being an ideal partner. The whole “he needs to be able to take care of you” kind of rubs my inner independent woman the wrong way.

  164. In an interview with Cnblue, they said they would rather be called ‘reliable’ than ‘funny’ by their girlfriend, which is pretty much the opposite of here in Australia, If a girl says you’re reliable, it pretty much means she has nothing else nice to say about you. If someone asks you why you like someone, saying ‘because he makes me laugh’ is perfectly reasonable whereas saying ‘because he’s reliable’ makes you sound like a tool.

    • I’d pick reliable though. You can build a relationship on reliability and trust, but life’s not always fun and games, so the reliable guy is the one I could lean on when necessary. Although I might be biased because the funny guys are friend-zoned LOL

    • matchacakes

      But why does it have to be one or the other? I know when I like someone it’s because they’re both reliable AND funny. The combination does exist.

      And yeah, it does make you sound like you’re using them.

  165. In my opinion… as a short person, I prefer being able to stand near someone and not have to look up at them all the time. Sorry tall people, short people have issues. [My boyfriend is about 12 inches (30 cm) taller than me. While good for hugs, it sucks for regular conversation.] Love from Aggieland (college station, TX) :]

  166. hapagirl

    Korea needs to get over themselves with the whole ideal type thing. Like seriously, girls do crazy plastic surgery and guys have to do all these things just to get someone who wants to basically show off. I mean as much as I am one for financial stability, I would never be with someone who I didn’t love.

  167. Wow… Accoding to this Idols are not the best material for boyfriends ^^

  168. I think in all countries the ideal is turning towards academic and financial success, especially as universities are becoming more competitive and people are putting emphasis on having a stable career before dating/marriage. Being intelligent is the new sexy.

    However, it’s really sad how this or physical appearance can be valued over personality and chemistry, and I hope that more relationships can just ignore these ideals and just love each other because they are who they are.

    Another video for the ideal Korean woman? :P

  169. thisisjustforfunval

    You just described my ideal type at the end of you TLDR! Where can I find that guy. Hopefully he wants a girl who went to art school also XD

  170. I’m imagining T.O.P appearance with Siwon’s family wealth. LOL

  171. The whole idea of finding the Ideal (Korean) Man is ridiculous to me, I mean it just shows how shallow we can be as human beings. But I’ve noticed this isn’t just a Korean thing, it happens a lot in Asia (or to asians in general) and not only is it an expectation of the girl but her parents (usually mom) as well.

    A perfect example would be my mom and aunts, I was born and raised in Australia and my family have lived in a western country for over 30 years and yet the conversation of “So when are you going to find a good looking man to bring home” and the occasional “You need to make sure he has a good paying job” “Make sure he can take care of his family, because it means he can take care of you” and so on and so forth. Ah sigh!

    • I must admit, though I don’t have to have some rich (actually I would hate that) I don’t want a deadbeat either.

    • Well there IS truth behind those. You can’t expect some slob at life to treat you right, and I don’t mean this in the “providing you with stuff” kind of treating, but the implication behind it.

      The fact that a man is hard-working, reliable, with strong morals and wants the best for the woman she loves will obviously reflect in a successful working life. Or at least in the process of it.

      What I mean is, a man and a woman that loves will also wish to give their best to the woman/man they love. A sweet personality and humour won’t pay the bills. And like I tell you, it’s not the “providing money” per se, but the “providing a full life for the person you love”. It’s not the money or the work themselves, but the principles behind them.

    • I don’t think it’s shallow to have an ideal type, however it’s when you hold every guy to that standard and don’t give them a chance if they don’t meet your ideal type.

      And wow, sounds tough having to put up with that from your family. >.<

  172. “I cannot boast of knowing more than half a dozen women in all my acquaintance who are truly accomplished.”

    Reminded me of Pride and Prejudice haha. Those are some pretty insane ideals.

  173. And I thought I had high expectations! I actually feel sorry for these boys if that’s the list of expectations they have to fill to be considered dating material.

  174. Akira Miyashi

    Those are some crazy requests…..

    And show us a pic of your tattoo, Martina!!! :D

  175. So…basically she just want a girl inside a handsome and wealthy man’s body, right?

  176. hahahaha the dancing naked one is true!!!!! WHY DOES MY HUSBAND ALWAYS DO IT??

    I’ve sat in on many many drunken conversations of Korean guys complaining about the high standards of Korean girls. Always hearing about it.

    My husband doesn’t fit into the ideal type except maybe studying English in another country. He doesn’t have a good job, is not tall, dropped out of university, doesn’t have an amazing body. BUT IT’S OKAY! Because he makes me happy – more than anyone else in the world can. :)

  177. Good lord! So basically you have to be superhuman. If these are the expectations of a Korean man, then I am really worried what the ideal Korean woman would be….Next TL:DR??

    • The expectations for an ideal Korean woman probably would rival superhuman Korean man by being supermodel Korean Lady.

      But that’s the funny thing about ideals. Very rarely do you find the ideal of anything because reality makes us more sensible and pragmatic.

    • To put it simply, The ideal korean woman is a clone of Kim Tae Hee, Lee Yeon Hee or Suzy.

      • based on looks maybe but they do look for education, career and personality also depending on the guy. I’m Korean and to be honest, yes that’s what I would look for in a perfect man but nobody’s perfect so of course no one’s going to have all those characteristics. Just a few would be nice…

    • Yeah! I’m now really curious about the ideal Korean woman! hope to see a TL;DR on that. Thanks for this video, your tl;dr’s are always interesting

  178. Watching this makes me want to know what is the ideal “foreign guy” now, if such a list of standards exists? lol. I’d also want to know what the ideal Korean girl and foreign girl would be too, though, I wonder how “clean” the list would be too haha

  179. I’m from Singapore and I think girls in my country don’t really like only child? At least the female friends around me don’t really like it, I don’t know about the rest. This is because we’re not very willing to carry the burden as the only daughter-in-law.

    • That is a good point. Not only being the only daughter-in-law, but being completely responsible for ensuring that she is able to have children who will be able to continue the family line and name. That’s a lot of pressure.

    • I thought that was a rather ridiculous request. I know so very few people who are the only child. I’m curious about Korea’s views on family size. I come from a big family of like 8 aunts/uncles on one side, so large extended families are the norm.

  180. …and in the end the person expected so many qualities from a man looks like Honey Boo Boo’s mom…

  181. Ermahgaw martina your tattoo looks aweshum!! ~~

  182. This description reminds me of a story one of my best friends told me about her mom: her mom was (and still is, IMHO) a very pretty young lady and she had many suitors come up to her door. One of them actually provided a résumé/CV with a letter declaring his love for her… he listed his family’s origins/salaries/jobs, what he aspired to be (doctor), his current grades (think: middle school), favorite/least favorite past-times, his views on drinking… it was a really intense letter package. :D

  183. Wow…that’s…intense,i guess..korean boys who doesnt have all that qualities,thats ok..u guys can apply for me^^ *i’m not the fangurl of fangurilla for nothing..hehehe*

  184. I love how there is a picture of Siwon from Suju as the freezeframe for this vid.

  185. So scary that I randomly started watching an old TLDR of you guys in your old apartment and you guys posted a video! I guess this is a sign that you telepathically sent me here to watch your new tldr

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