262 COMMENTS

One of the things we discussed before filming this topic was how impressed we were with the specificity of some of the qualities of an ideal man. Really, if you had to describe your ideal type, would you talk about his schooling and salary and job and work hours and habits? Isn’t it more like “I’d like someone tall and swarthy, maybe in a band, who loves cooking as much as I do.” Right? No? I’m not sure. Maybe your list of details is a bit longer than that, but probably not as long as this list here:

Now, let’s talk about this blog post before we give you Soo Zee’s translation of it: not everyone holds these standards, of course. This was a fairly popular blog post when it came out that satirizes how picky Korean girls can be. It both highlights the absurdity of these demands, but also the pressures that men face in meeting women’s expectations. Here’s a screenshot of the blog post. Now that I come to think of it, why didn’t I ask Soo Zee for the URL? I’ll ask her as soon as we get into the studio today.

And now for the list. Guys, even if this list is a parody, if you nail all of these qualities you’re pretty much the perfect man, regardless of what country you’re from. Girls here are looking for:

—–
A guy who has salary of over 100million KRW, and is over 180cm tall. There must be no bald people in the family tree. He must like sports and has a buff body, as well as a great fashion sense. He must have a cheerful and bright personality. He must never loose his temper and be polite. Should have a charming smile and be great at sex. Should come from a wealthy family that has at least 3 billion KRW to their name. He must have graduated from SKY, and have a great job that starts at 9 and finishes at 6, only 5 days a week.

He should help out with the house chores. He should be able to drink more than 2 bottles of soju but also not enjoy drinking. Should be a great cook, enjoy music, and also be a great singer. Should be great at fixing stuff around the house. Should have a religion but not be too devoted, and drive very carefully and be neat and tidy.

His score should be higher than 850 in TOEIC, and he should also speak a bit of Japanese. Should have studied abroad for language, be the only child of his parents and his parents should live far from Seoul. The parents should occasionally visit, maybe once a year. The parents should also prefer lighter memorial services for their ancestors during Chuseok and Seollal.

He should give gifts on every anniversary, and have great taste. He should be honest and should be able to play both the piano and the guitar. He should be great with managing his finances and should listen to what women say. Should both like kids and be great with kids, should like reading books, like to go shopping with his wife and not mind being the driver, and should hold his wife’s shopping bags when they shop, then go to coffee shops together and gossip together and also read through women’s magazines together. Should also text and call often when they’re apart.

The guy should have female friends but know to drew the line between friends and women. Should like to travel. Don’t splurge, gamble, smoke, or be sickly. Should have gone to the army and have a great sense of humor. Should be romantic and be able to swim well, have 눈치 (which is a loaded Korean word for “awareness,” kinda). Should be a great writer and know how to paint. He should also be very humble, very social, and yet have leadership skills at the same time. He should be great with seniors and also have a bit of aegyo in him, while also being handsome, and also good to his inlaws and the rest of his wife’s family. He should also be kind and bold enough to dance naked if the wife says so. And he should forgive his wife IF she cheats on him.
——

Holy hell that was intense. I’m basing this off of SooZee’s translation, and I’m not sure if Soo Zee’s style was just jotting things down randomly, but the way that it’s written and not clearly organized into categories makes it seem so overwhelming, like “you should do this AND be this AND do this AND have done this AND do this ANDANDANDANDANDANDAND”.” Or maybe I’m just too busy English lit analyzing this. I don’t know. I was overwhelmed reading it.

Again, if men don’t meet these standards, it’s not like they’re outcasts and never get girls. Only so many people can get into the SKY universities. A LOT of men smoke. Not everyone has lived abroad. And I don’t know that many people pulling in over 100k a year while working reasonable hours. If everyone were held to these standards, then only, like, three people would be able to date.

But that’s also not to say that these standards are irrelevant. They do go into a lot of people’s considerations. We had a Korean friend who, when we asked her about her boyfriend and what he’s like, the first things she said was that he wasn’t very good looking, a bit overweight, but he has a stable job. When we asked her more info, like – say – how well do they get along, or what do they do together, or what do they have in common, she was just like “yeah, we get along alright.”

From our perspective, it seems like there’s a lot more emphasis on economic stability than what we’re used to. We never talk to our friends back home about how successful their significant others are, or where they graduated. Or is that just us? Are these topics of conversation you’re used to having with your friends?

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  1. In my understanding, your Korean friend would emphasize that her boyfriend “has” at least one condition of what people talk (as an ideal model of Korean man). It is a strong defense on her boyfriend from no matter what. This is how the list actually works to stop grading on her boyfriend.

    This may look like defending Korean culture, but I hate that list as well. Only somebody would like to literally follow those may be miserable. Mostly Korean sentences are not something literally directing meaning by itself. I read that it because Korean is pretty much verbal language while english is quiet literal language.(And constantly korean language is goring literal now.) Most of original Korean verbal sentences are not that literal.

  2. For me i am all about personalty and actually my ideal type is the art school type. Thats right i said it. So to all you art school students in korea i am waiting for you :P i do like artisy guys but really it doesn’t matter to me. I have to get along with him i know in the discution about ideal girls i said i would be a stay at home and want to. But seriously if i can’t it’s not the end of the world. I also i did say i would blind date and get married after 6 months to a year. however to all you korean guys i might agree to marry you after 6 months but remember this we are waiting a year like normal people. sorry to all the people who get married in 1 month or 2….. personally i think thats the dumbist thing you can do is get married and set up a wedding in one month. i find that totally impossible. My sister did it and i just looked at her like she was a nut case. She asked me to be in her wedding party and i wanted to but i just couldn’t get the money and time off work to go to Toronto and be at the wedding. So yea if i get married after knowing the guy for 6months to a year the person will have to wait at least another 6 months to a year before i say I DO thats my requirement for sure. other wise i like my skinny korean guys. :P

  3. I know this list was a satire of what women want, but to publish it under the title ‘What’s the ideal Korean man’ because it was originally written in Korean is unfair. It’s what most woman want if they are a shallow and greedy!

    I don’t think it was fair to write one perspective based on ONE friend you have. As a Korean, I married my husband because we have similar interests and similar life outlooks. My parents who are strong traditional Koreans love my husband because he is a nice person, treats me well and sees how positive my life has become with him in it.

    Economic stability is not just a Korean phenomenon, just because you don’t recall talking to your friends about how successful their significant others are, or where they graduated. It may have just been that your social group did not discuss this or that they are not at that social stage to discuss these topics. There are heaps situations in movies (American, Australia etc) where people ask others which schools they went to and where they’re working, its a conversation starter for people to find similarity with each other!

    I don’t think you guys should make these types of posts, unless you make them light and short. There is a lot of bias in this, next time you should ask for opinions on the street and make a video. At least this way you’ll probably get a more accurate “Korean” outlook and a variety of answers, and not just from your limited experience that is shared with your 447k fans.

    No hate, just saying.

  4. This doesn’t sound like a husband but more like a robot.

    But isn’t it weird that the guys in dramas (not the lead guy but the “perfect guy” who never gets the girl) who have most of these qualities always end up alone? The girl never chooses the perfect guy but always the arrogant bad boy with the good heart.

  5. Makes me think of Austens Eliza Bennets comment “I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any”

    HOW can any person expect to match up to that exhaustive list?? O_o

  6. Lets see if I can meet “The super ultra Korean ideal manly but gentle MAN” man qualifications (Imagine I’m in a coffee shop with a Korean girl and she gave me this list…)

    Makes over 100 Million KRW… Nope, sorry. Over 180cm tall… Yep. No bald people in the family tree… Check. Cheerful and bright personality… Kinda. Never lose temper and be polite… Yes on the later – depends on the former. Charming smile…*shrug* you decide. Great in the sack… Well that’s just something we’re gonna have to find out now… Wealthy family with a ridiculous pile of money… forget it. Graduated from SKY… nope. Great 9 to 6 job… nuh-uh, I work overnights hun (for now).

    Helps out around the house… of course! Able to drink 2 bottles of soju but not enjoy drinking… yep (I actually don’t like drinking too much) Great cook… I’m working on that :) Enjoy Music… Yes. Great Singer…. eh. Great at fixing stuff… as long as it has a manual, lol. Has religion but not too devoted… uhh, i’m agnostic. Drives carefully… I try. Neat and Tidy… yeah…sure…

    Higher than 850 in TOEIC… well I do speak english fluently, does that count? a bit of Japanese? What do you mean by a bit? Studied abroad for another language? Would love to (with you of course :) ) Only child… yeah. Parents live far away from Seoul? well, yeah, but they would sure love to visit. Lighter memorial services? I don’t know what that is but I’m pretty sure my parents are up for it.

    Gifting on our anniversary? (sets date in google cal…) Of course! I like to think I have good taste, I am talking to you of course… Am I Honest? Yes (She probably thinks I’m lying though…) Can play guitar/piano? oh hell no. Can manage finances? yes. Do I listen to what women say? Yes. Do I like kids? yeah, if they are my kids… lol… (I kid, I kid) Am I great with kids? ahhhh… pass… I do like reading books. I’d go shopping with my wife, and i’ll also drive, but do I really have to hold all those damn bags? (I’ll probably get that mean >_> look right about now). Coffee shop? Sure, when? Gossip? yeah, sure. Womens Mags? Yeah.. okay… I guess? Text and call often, of course!

    Does have female friends but draws the line. Yes. Loves to travel? Definitely a yes all the way! Splurge? only on you hun. Gamble? Nope. Smoke? Nope. Sickly? Nope (I hate germs, clean all the things!) Have gone to the army… I don’t think I can (more on that later) Great sense of humor? I’d like to think so. Romantic? yes (I’m a sucker for that to be honest). Able to swim well? yeah… sure. Has awareness? I guess? Great writer and painter? I can write but I’m sure as hell can’t paint for my life (unless we’re talking about finger painting, lol). Am I humble? (Well, I know this is a trick question, since if I do admit this, that may be seen as being arrogant. However, if I say no, she may think less of me…. hmm…) Well, I am doing this, right? Social? Kinda… I may need those 2 bottles of soju first. Leadership skills? Yeah. Good with seniors? Yes. Has aegyo whilst being handsome? (hmm…) *breaks off a peppro stick into two, puts the sticks in mouth like teeth and does the BUING BUING motion* Was that too much…? Good to his inlaws? yeah, of course.

    Able to be kind enough and bold enough to dance naked if the wife says so? Are you sure about that? *girl nods head* *sighs* well, not in public of course… but I may need that third bottle of soju just in case…

    Will I be able to forgive my wife IF she cheats on him? (Is she seriously asking me this question? Seriously? Not sure if trolling or serious… Quick Michael!… Say SOMETHING!) Nope… well okay, maybe… she’ll have to do something for me to gain my trust again. Something that really shows me that she is willing to be faithful and not do this to me again. Otherwise, forget it.

    Now with all that being said, there is something I do have to say… I’m actually not Korean…

    *Watches girl panic, grabs her purse and checks her phone. She texts her friend and suddenly gets a phone call. Watches her mumble some Korean and sees her put the phone down back into the purse*

    “OPPA! I have to go and uh… help my mom out… yeah, that!”
    But isn’t your mom overseas?
    “Oh, I mean my sister, yeah… my sister ^_^ … I’ll text you later, ANNYEONG!”
    *watches her bolt out of the coffee shop faster than ever…*

    Damn, not again… Maybe I should of left that last part out… *sigh* :(

  7. Back home, if you are not married by 25, you are a spinster (all my classmates back home are either engaged, on their first baby or married). Im 26…. xD Im living in the US now, but right around this time is when I am asked why I dont have a boyfriend yet, since I am ‘next in line’ as the one that goes before me got a BF who’s already been introduced to the family xD GAH. The Pressure, but they just have to wait, ill be going to Uni next year, YEAH! ;).

    In that sense I am strict, I want someone with a steady foundation, at least a bachelors degree, but thats it. I dont have all these extremely unrealistic views on what my life will be. All I want is a man with a Bachelors Degree and im good. xD

  8. My Bf is Vietnamese and I’m from El Salvador so a Latina….a couple days ago I went to his house and his mom called me practically ugly because I wasn’t what she considered her ideal type for her son. He defended me and walked with me and told me he didn’t care what his mom said =) i think that in general people have their own opinions on what is beautiful and what is a good quality to have but i don’t agree with that.

  9. In my opinion any korean guy that has a cheerful personality and treats me well is great :P I really want a korean boyfriend but i have no idea how to do so

  10. OMG. This list is insanity. That is so much stress. I don’t even have words for that. I’m with Martina on this one, what happened to “Kind man, kind to me, has similar interests, sense of humor, parents don’t hate me etc”? Wow….I can’t math this one.
    What’s the equivalent for women? There’s NO WAY girls are getting out of this expectation nightmare.

  11. I think they were hoping to make the whole “These are what is common viewed as good, but people aren’t always actively looking for them” sort of view. Sort of like how there are certain standards and “impress points” in the US. So I guess the SKY schools are kind-of like Ivy Leagues in the US. So I am sure if I went to one person and said my Husband with to Rutgers University but told another person he went to Princeton, I would get a totally different reactions.

    That said, there are “nit-picky” people in the states. I was flabbergasted when my friend said she wasn’t going to have a “long-term relationship” with a guy because he never went to college. She already had it in her mind she wasn’t going to get married right then and there because of that reason. I also had a friend who had a long list of specifics about the guy she was going to “marry” like he must be over 6 foot (she was a tall girl), be a good Christian, nerdy- preferably an engineer, non-smoker, nerdy, etc, etc. And it wasn’t like if he fell into SOME of those categories, I remember her finding a guy and he saying she was only going to go to second base with him because he smoked.

    That said, I wouldn’t be surprised it is worth noting that there are more strict standards of what is ideal for a man since it is a more focused culture than in some other western countries with higher levels of immigration. Being from the states, I’ve noticed some girls had certain ideals for guys that are more common from other girls from the same national background. Sometimes not. Sometimes it reflects how their parents brought them up. Sometimes it reflects just the regions they grew up in, whether it be a small town, rich neighborhood, or city.

    I do have to say, what Simon and Martina say seem to be somewhat correct-ish. I mean I feel like in a Korean dramas stress similar points as they do. When the character falls short of these ideals, it seems to be stressed as a flaw that the female needs to get over- if that makes sense?

  12. wauw…. well thanks.
    Well then i wish you a live without any luxury because everything is designed by designers.. who went to art schools even the chair you are sitting on.

  13. Test of English for International Communication (TOEIC) per wiki

  14. I grew up with the idea that the guy should not be abusive in any way and should love me for who I am not for what society expects me to be… I later also decided he should be hardworking and have a great personality, plus match up with at least some of my interests! I didn’t care about looks or weight or height because honestly I wouldn’t want them to care how I look, especially right after I role out of bed! HAHAHA

    Luckily the guy I am with now meets all my expectations AND MORE! I think he looks great, he is not much taller than I am so we are both a couple of shorties, we both love superheroes/villains, detective stories/shows, video games, pokemon, reading, and so much more. I am so lucky to have my boyfriend, just as I am sure Martina feels about Simon <3

  15. Many of the Korean ideals are very similar to Chinese ideals, especially to the big international Chinese cities. However, China also emphasize in 门当户对. Which means the partner should be around the same social status, their family should come from the same educational level etc. In general, you should be marrying within the same social group. Of course, there are girls who want to marry ‘up’, but they are not put in a good light… They are called ‘Sparrow acting like phoenix’ or they are ‘fishing for that golden son in law’ etc.

  16. So… I’m forever going to say so-gae-ting the “Jamaican” way.

  17. What about the ideal woman then?

  18. I would not like my husband to read women’s magazines. Men’s are bad enough. He should read the Economist and not touch anything else. But that’s me.

  19. Indeed I think that Soo Zee would also agree with you on those points. Unfortunately some people don’t read things properly and unfortunately assume that this is a general view and buy into stereotypes.

  20. Well, as Canadians yourselves I’m sure you already know this lol but I don’t feel like there’s quite so much emphasis on the schooling thing around here. Like if you say you’re going to university, that’s good enough. It shows that you aren’t just a lazy butt, and apparently that’s good enough for us Canadians xD I don’t really follow the cultural norm around here though so maybe I’m just bullsh*tting you without knowing it. Emphasis on height is a big thing though still. What girl likes it if the guy is shorter?

    I’d say that a big thing for females here would be that they like to be a socially stronger and more independent presence (for the most part) so all that grabby – pulling girls around by their arm – stuff wouldn’t really go over so well here. That’s not to say that we’re all extroverts, definitely not, but independence is stressed in Canada. As well as the fact that getting treated well by your man is important too. Interesting how different countries can have such different ideals!

  21. it’s more about who you are and who’s your family ..your manners and principle you believe in your background and your reputation ..but also how much you make is required ..image is important but not in the top of the list ..well

  22. That’s kind of shitty. I know a lot of Koreans are very honest with their opinions but that seems over the line regardless of culture. As for me, if I ever date another Korean girl, I can take solace in the fact that there is at least one person in Korea who thought I was handsome enough for my girlfriend. Random cab driver in Seoul, I’ll always remember your kind words! Well, he was the only person who told me in English. My girlfriend told me that her friends approved her choice but I don’t speak Korean well, so I can’t verify. Still, your story and others in the comments makes me wonder if the same expectation is applied to foreign men dating Korean women

  23. Wow that’s a lot of stuff… Honestly after compatibility and personality a lot of the stuff in this list I’d consider more of a “bonus” to being in a relationship with someone. “You’re tall? Cool! You went to Queens? Alright! You enjoy watching me shop for clothes? Wow! You’ll dance around naked? Well that’s a little…”

  24. I think this happens in a lot of countries up to some point. Like I’m from Peru and the university thing is very much true for us too. If u didn’t go to one of the elite schools then people r gonna look down on u, and if u ask a girl they r gonna tell u they wouldn’t date a guy from the other “not so cool” universities.

  25. I think that in Greece only the general ideals really apply – I don’t THINK there are too many specifics apart for making sure he’s not a mamma’s boy, as most people have different opinions. At least that’s what I talk about with my friends.

    For me, ideals are just ideals. I have them, but I don’t live by them. Whilst I would LIKE a ‘so and so type of man with this and that’, my current boyfriend actually matches very few of these and I couldn’t be happier. They’re kind of like a bonus: if they have it, then great, if they don’t then whatever. What I look for essentially is a good personality that matches well with mine, and someone who I have great chemistry with. And that’s the way I think it should be. Ideals a great, but some people probably miss out on some amazing opportunities just because they can’t be flexible and get too picky. They’re also something that develop over time. Over the years, based on experience from my relationships and those of others, some ideals have been scrapped and others have been added – sometimes you find that your ideal wasn’t actually so ideal at all. And then of course I think that helps later on in life when you’re looking for someone because you know what kind of person you can have a long-lasting relationship with.

    I could probably say a lot more, but this is just my two cents :)

  26. How was this survey conducted? Because if it was a list of qualities and they asked women to check which ones they LIKED, as in, “Would you LIKE him to have graduation from SKY? Yes or No?” “Would you like him to be sickly? Or not sickly?”, that’s a bit different than “He MUST graduate from SKY”.
    That means that that item is an attractive quality, but not a requirement.
    But answering a lot of those questions, or assembling individual answers, doesn’t mean that women are expecting ALL of those qualities in one person. Right?
    And maybe I’m alone in this, but I don’t really want my husband to come shopping with me. I’m infuriatingly indecisive. I don’t even like it when the sales people talk to me. Someone standing over me, holding my bags would just make it worse.
    Dancing naked, however, is now a deal breaker.

  27. no wonder the population growth rate is negative….

  28. I would like to know do you need a visa to live and work in korea if so which one should I get,how long do they last and how much do they cost. I really would like to know so I can study korean there and work as a graphic designer.

  29. I’m trying to figure out Korean culture as I’ve read some of the things mentioned in the video before but my girlfriend doesn’t seem to follow the majority of them, or at least she hasn’t mentioned it, Besides we’re together so I guess she likes me for me :D.

    I’m English and we started as penpals 12 years ago and recently officially got together, I visited her in September etc. I’m about 180cm, her family mentioned how tall I am so i guess i’m considered tall over there. Her brother likes me a lot, I got on well with her sister and considering her mother couldn’t speak English I made her smile often but that’s probably because I was doing things wrong XD. But nothing was mentioned about cars or buying a home or anything really.

    Will her parents be expecting me to buy a home before we actually marry? or does renting suffice? As we’d be living in UK I don’t know exactly what she or her family want or expect from me.

  30. So I’m from USA… But I honestly have no clue what the typical “ideal type” is here…. That’s how in-tune I am with my own culture! =D *I think I actually know more about South Korea than my own country lol*

    But seriously, I don’t really understand why some people are so materialistically focused when it comes to dating/marrying/whatever. I value personality MUCH more than looks, job, education, and all of that. I value people for WHO they are, not what they do. :)

  31. “And he should forgive his wife IF she cheats on him.” Um, if a guy has all of the qualities listed why would a woman cheat on him?

    I’m curious, of the friends that you asked, what were there ages? I know that when I was in my early twenties a lot of my friends and I had a long list of ideals for potential. As you get older, you weed out the b.s. and look for things of substance.

  32. WOW. That is basically, like seriously, A MAN NO ONE CAN FIND IN THE WORLD, A MAN THAT ONLY APPEARS IN YOUR DREAMS… Basically the guy has to be good in almost everything and all that shit.. Well of course I know not all Korean women are like that. I’m sure lots of women from other countries are like that too, minus the place of where he graduates and all that stuff relating to family.. But now I’m curious, do the majority of Korean men have the same standards like that for women..?
    I’m only 152cm tall NO WAY will I want a guy over 180cm… LOL. All I want is a guy with a personality like Infinite’s Dongwoo(seriously, he’s not afraid of being himself, he’s funny, he’s witty, he’s simply amazing~) and a guy that would make me happy~~

  33. I’m actually surprised to hear that art school is considered lowest of the low in Korea! There were a lot of Koreans who went to the Rhode Island School of Design (because of some recruiting outpost over there), and I was always informed that it was considered a super elite thing to do. One of my friends had a high level executive father at Samsung and he landed a design internship there (and now probably a job). Perhaps it’s different because it was abroad? Or maybe I was being lied to xD

    • It seems you already have the answer with you: “executive father at Samsung”

    • Remember, studying abroad is also one of the positives so art school abroad should be ok. Also I think that those types of art student would be seen as more likely to succeed and also be hired as designers for big gaming/animation companies.

      As a person who went to art school it can be the same all the world over. Either you are looked down on as a struggling artist or you somehow manage to succeed in the art world and are venerated, however it is more likely for you to be a poor struggling artist than a wildly successful one. The career is not one that is guaranteed to work well and I guess that’s the reason why it is looked down on. No stability or surety of success.

      • Yeah, I used to study at RISD and changed my career path halfway through (for many reasons, but instability being one of them!). That being said I know people from my class who are now at Microsoft, Puma, and Cartoon Network (so, so, soooo jealous…) so I guess RISD has a certain reputation that reaches internationally. Regardless, I had an ex-boyfriend who was an Ivy League engineer who told me my art job could easily be outsourced, that I would therefore be homeless and that I would not be welcome when I knock on his “mahogany doors.” (Actual quote…Lol.) His opinion of an art career became very clear at that point.

  34. Are men’s expectations of women this high in Korea? What are Korean men’s ‘ideal type’?

  35. In Finland, I’d say most girls go for guys who are buff and super manly, whereas guys with lighter builds, more delicate facial features, and more sensitive personalities are basically doomed to single life. And Finnish men have no tolerance for anything except super-manliness. As for level of education, it’s enough that you went to a vocational high school, as long as you can chop wood and build houses and wrestle bears and hunt reindeer. Athleticism and physical strength are HUGE. And here I am, fawning over all these Korean flower boys, and the people around me (especially guys) are unable to understand why…

    • Does that have something to do with ‘sisu’? I’m with you though – athletic/buff/manly men are preferred in Australia but I seem to like guys that are way skinnier than me (and Korean^^)! ㅋㅋㅋ Mutta miten voitte tavata miehiä suomessa? Asuin siellä vaihto-oppilana vuodeksi ja ei ketään (suomalaisia miehiä) puhui mulle! Ehkä koska olen australialainen mutta kuitenkin!

      • i think people in Finland meet each other through their friends, school or clubs/parties. But don’t take it by heart if the finnish guys didn’t talk to you, it wasn’t your fault at all! :) I don’t think finnish people are that talkative with strangers. With that i don’t mean finnish people don’t like strangers, but they don’t start talking to you if they don’t know you. (If they do, it would be extremely rare case.) for example if you ever took a bus in Finland you might have noticed this; no one talks to each other, it’s deadly silent usually. Or that neighbors don’t really talk with each other, they might say hi but that’s it. They are not trying to be rude, it’s just doesn’t happen very often. That’s why if you want to meet guys in finland, it’s better to go to parties or school events and people hang around together, get to know each other and hey you just might get lucky :) Or, you can be your charming self and go talk to that stranger on the street or lonely guy in the bar, they probably won’t shoot you down, they might actually be even pleased that you took the first step.

        And I kinda agree with that manly man thing. buff/athletic/tall. Education doesn’t really matter or family background. I actually don’t know anyone who cares about the family background. But lately this “hipster” thing has gotten into people and those skinny sensitive guys are on roll :DD hahaha. their time has definitely come. at least in the big cities :D

        • Hahaha – Don’t worry – I lived there for a year so I know that Finnish people aren’t completely silent (the opposite is true most of the time – it’s just in public, which I quite like)! I couldn’t really go out though because I was on high school exchange at the time. I did have a couple of guys talk to me in the second half of my year there – but they thought I was Finnish initially, until I told them otherwise (although I’m sure my terrible Finnish would have given me away).

          Viva i hipster! (Elää hipsteri! – how do you say that in Finnish?) ㅋㅋㅋ

        • Hmmm… I would say “eläköön hipsterit!” :D someone can correct me if I’m wrong :D Finnish language is extremely difficult so learning even a little bit of finnish in a year is really well done :P the word “elää” is translated pretty much like “lives” if you drop the last letter ä it would be “live”. If I understood right the “viva i” it means in english long live ? long live is literally translated “eläköön” so I would use that. :P And now I’m just curious how well you can speak finnish if they mistook you as finnish person :)

        • Ah ok thanks! Yep ‘long live’ in English. I’m actually an Italian major at university – hence the Italian as opposed to the French ‘vive’… My written Finnish is dreadful and I can’t read very well but speaking is easy for me. I might have a bit of Kainuu/Savo dialect but not much I think. I lived in Pohois-Savo but one of my host families was from Kainuu. I’ve forgotten so many words too! I should probably go back and study the grammar and work on my vocabulary again!

        • oh dear god, you have dialect from Savo?? hahahah nice, that’s pretty strong dialect :DD and even if it is just speaking the language well, that’s great :) hard language.

  36. I don’t know……it may be a cultural thing to diss your boyfriend/husband as a kind of teasing thing (I’m not saying that this is always the case) but I had a super sweet taiwanese best friend who would always make some derogatory comment about her (white) husband’s big nose, or otherwise, right in front of him too, and she seemed to think that this was “pet-like” (I’m not sure how to say this? lovey-dovey talk?). I had other asian friends that would be similar (though none from Korea), I would sure be interested in hearing if this is a thing or it really IS meant to keep your husband in his place.

    • I don’t know. I’m Mexican and in my culture we give each other pet names SOMETIMES because of the flaws that we have. For example, I’m dark skinned so my family always called me “prieta” or “morena” (dark skinned girl). My sister was chubby so my family always called her “gordita” (fat or chubby girl) we just took it as pet names and took no offense to it. Of course if a random person called us this and did it in an ugly or rude tone… we would take offense to it. Now that I think of it, growing up our parents would talk to each other and laugh about our wierd looks with each other in front of us. Any Mexicans out there with similar parents? Or is this just my family and my family’s friends?

    • Of all the Korean guys I’ve heard talk about this none of them thought it was a cute thing or liked it. Individual relationships have their own making fun of talk, my husband and I have jokes about each other’s looks but I think it has to be mutually accepted. Seriously telling your boyfriend that he is not good looking is not lovey dovey, especially when he might already be feeling the pressure from all the high expectations. That’s just my view from what I’ve seen.

      • Whoa, I’m not saying that _I_ thought it was cute, I definitely thought it was weird and kind of mean but he seemed to have grown used to it. It also wasn’t just my friend, I went to a very Asian-centric high school and there were other girls who were the same. This was back in the 90s though. My husband cannot take any teasing AT ALL so sometimes I have to be very careful not to hurt his feelings since I grew up in a very teasing family. My only criteria for a mate was someone who made me feel happy and that could be my partner in crime (figuratively speaking). I guess I ended up lucky that he’s also tall, gorgeous, very intelligent, artistic, adventurous, witty and clever, is a great Dad and teacher for our son, has a stable job, and rides a cool motorcycle and adores me too. Those lists are more for Victorian-style teenagers who want to marry someone without actually getting to know them first and don’t really understand what relationships are about.

  37. With the exception of a few things, this is pretty universal list wise. I have to say though, you miss out sometimes on the most wonderful people by having a type. I don’t think I really was happy until I abandoned my ‘type’. I think a lot of it, is maybe we just really want someone that actively takes care of needs in some way? The thing I love about high standards is, do the people that set them wonder if like they meet their ideal person’s standard? :3 Also the dancing naked thing was hysterical!!! The charming smile made me spit soda onto my desk.

  38. I have a potential TL;DR question. What’s the division of social class structure like in Korea? In dramas it always seems like there are only the super rich and the super poor. Is there actually a very small middle class? Do the super rich view the middle class as being poverty stricken? Or is that something they do just to create conflict for TV?

    • that’s a great question, in America we like to pretend class doesn’t really exist – but in Kdramas it’s a prevalent theme. I’ve wondered if that’s exaggerated myself, or if it’s close to real life in Korea.

      • It’s not that the US pretends class doesn’t exist, I think it’s that it doesn’t play as big a role as it does in Korean society. The gap between the rich and poor is actually bigger in the US than it is in South Korea.

  39. Does that man really exist?? I don’t like perfection… then I wouldn’t have anything to fix…

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