It’s time for a special good vs bad Korean Commercial edition of K-Crunch Cocktail. MMM, tastes like corporate! Which probably doesn’t taste very good now that I’ve said that. A while ago we did a cell phone advertising edition which had some totally awesome songs and videos to go with it, but this week we’ve got one great song and one not so good song.

1) Girls’ Generation “Chocolate Love”

 

First up is Girls’ Generation with “Chocolate Love”. This is actually advertising a cell phone that was really long but thin, it kind of looked like a small chocolate bar which I guess is why they called it a chocolate phone. The song itself, I totally totally love. It creates an unlikey marriage between tuba and very digital robotic synths. They even toss in a tiny little acoustic guitar chord that comes in only twice or three times just after the chorus. I just can’t get over that Korean composers can pump out such awesome songs non-stop. The video itself is pretty much just shots of Girls’ Generation dancing around, but I think the outfits are so awesome (but I don’t like the white outfits) and I love the fan dance and the other dance as well. Normally a non-stop video featuring only shots of a band would bore me, but I don’t know why this particular video doesn’t bother me. Maybe there are a lot of outfit changes and I’m easily distracted by—OH LOOK! THAT HAT IS SO SPARKLY! WEEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEE!!! *Martina runs off chasing it*

2) 2PM “Only you, Only coway”

 

So we talked about the good, but have you seen the bad? The so bad it’s good? Like watching a really terrible movie that’s so endearingly bad you find yourself showing it to all your friends and watching it all the time. That’s what has happened with us and Coway. Now we totally get that Kpop singers have to do advertising to make money, I totally get that, and if a Korean company was like, Simon and Martina, we want you to be in a beer ad where you make super thumbs up and clinck beers together in super slooow motion and act really cheesy we’d be like, “SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!” but I think what went wrong with Coway is that there is a total lack of humour present. Everyone knows that 2PM has been hired to advertise for Coway, so why make the commercials so serious? Cell phones, drinks, and beer can be made into a more natural commercial since kpop idols are doing what they do best, singing and dancing + phone. But Coway is a water filtration system. That’s right, a water freaking filtration freaking system. If that doesn’t scream kpop idol, I don’t know what else does! What’s next? Big Bang advertising Pepto Bismol? How about JYJ advertising Door Stoppers? I didn’t even KNOW what Coway was until I read more about it, which means the actually song they got 2PM to sing wasn’t exactly advertising very well. But then again, here I am researching “what is this coway thing!!??” so perhaps it was unintentionally brilliant marketing. That, or I just wanted to know why 2PM were dancing and singing this bizarre song before every YouTube video I played. I guess writing a love song to my water filtration system just feels really….fake.

And there are even entire “Korean” lessons, brought to you by Coway, where the members of 2PM will teach you a single word. If they had let me and Simon direct that video, it would have been hilarious while still informative. When Taecyeon drinks his strategically placed Coway Filtration Glass Of Water, there isn’t a HINT OF HUMOUR!!!!! BUT YOU KNOW TAECYEON IS LAUGHING IN HIS HEAD AT HOW CHEESY THIS IS! AGHRHHH!! All I wanted to see was a wink and the gun after he drank that glass, or even, “Coway, not just delicious, it helps to keep my sexy body cool after a long day of dancing” and then he dumps the glass of cold water all over his body and shakes the water droplets off in ripito fipito sipi slow motion. That would be both hilarious, obviously jokey (like UV’s cheesy editing in Itaewon Freedom) and it would advertise for them as being a fun company while showing 2PM as having a good sense of humour. Okay, this has gone on for too long. After you watch the worst song ever, check out the Epic Taecyeon and Chansung Lesson and let us know what you would have done differently.

 

3) CrispiCrunch “Thumbs Up”

 

Our last song is a request from Rachel from Texas, who is currently living in Virginia, and requested CrispiCrunch’s “Thumbs Up”. I’m so happy for this request because this song is great and the video is hilarious. It’s rare to find bands that are willing to be funny and jokey in a way that makes them look uncool. This duo, along with UV, PSY, sometimes JYP, and perhaps Girl’s Day (at least I hope that they are being jokey), are willingly to do this, and it makes for an awesome music video. Ah yes, two cool looking guys go to a club in Korea and try to pick up girls with their cocky attitude and dance skillz with a zeeeeee or zed…depending on where you are from. The girls are non-impressed and the result is awesome. The ending of the video, also awesome, so make sure you stick around to catch it. I think the reason why we like this video so much is because we often point out how we dislike the “fake” club scene video where everyone is behaving in an orderly fashion and no one is drinking or acting rowdy. I think CrispiCrunch is really showing you what it can be like to be a Korean club. People are not AS crazy as CrispiCrunch, but soju + Korean boys + Korean girls = I’ll let you find out for yourself when you come to Korea.

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