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Kpop Music Monday: I Forgot How to Kpop

February 3, 2014


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So, it feels like we’ve been totally out of the Kpop loop, even though we’ve been off the internet for only a month or so. We looked at our KpopCharts and realized, holy shaboly, there’s a lot of stuff that came out. Seriously. Does Kpop ever take a break? It’s an endless stream of videos and debuts and comebacks and scandals and teasers and concepts and whatnot.

We decided to have a look at what came out recently and to talk about the videos that interested us. Here’s our list of Kpop videos thus far for 2014:

TVXQ “Something”

Well well well! Look at this! TVXQ in a somewhat regular human role! They’re usually superhuman angel mutant deities that teleport and explode as they condescend to us humans as the deities they are. Any fans of Marvel comics? I imagine TVXQ being like Namor and constantly judging people and shouting “IMPERIUS REX!” Orrr…if you don’t get that reference that’s fine. Not like it wasn’t super nerdy for a second *fixes glasses and pulls out retainer*

In this video, there’s a bit of that superhuman element still, with the magic aspect of it all, but for the most part TVXQ seem like, for once, dudes. Though they’re really classy and have hoards of women around them. They’re still somewhat relatable in this video. Great! Because we were getting a bit bored of the superhuman element.

And it was all jazzy and funky and fun for a song. Really quite enjoyable! It’s not as good as Keep Your Head Down, IMO, but we liked it more than Catch Me and Humanoids, that’s for sure. Soo Zee’s not too fond of it, though, so don’t sing it around her :D

Rain “30Sexy”

Best song on the list. Hands down. If you have a hand up to object, put your hand down. PUT YOR HAND DOWNNNN BYUP BYUP BYUUUP BYUP BYUP BYUPBYUP. This song is great and I will not stand any objections. IMPERIOUS REX!!!

This is the kind of Kpop we missed. Sure, the beat is a bit repetitive, and the falsetto and monochrome seem a bit too heavily inspired by Justin Timberlake, as does every mature male concept for a kpop video lately, but it’s still so fun. SO FUN! We’ve been singing it non stop. We don’t even know the hand waving dance, but we know what it kinda looks like, and it’s a great fit for the video and the song and everything. Snap. We totally missed Rain being around, and this is so tremendously kickass, and we hope that he keeps on making music like this, though he’ll probably go back to doing Hollywood movies. Let’s enjoy Rain the singer while we can, before Rain the actor comes back (side note: Ninja Assassin was laugh out loud bad). This is where my HRRRRRT IS SUPPRRRSD TRRR BEEEE. Whoa that movie was not good.

Bilasa “Lonely”

So, our commentary on this video is gonna peeve off people for a few reasons for sure. #1, we found this song and video boring. It’s not our style. Not that it’s bad, but it’s not for us. We like Bilasa when they’re batshit crazy. This is meh. Where’s all the color? I know that Kpop is oftentimes music for eyes rather than just music for ears, and though we’re not impressed by pretty boys and girls and try to be more focused on the music itself, we’ve grown to like the colorful vibe of Bilasa’s videos. This really lost out on, to us, what was their most charming aspect.

And #2 the whole scandal and accusations of falsified album sales, though we have no proof on the matter, we can say that it’s mighty suspicious for us that B1A4 sold so many albums in one week. B1A4 fans might say “Oh no my babies are srsly that popular,” and we know someone who personally bought 20 Bilasa albums herself, but we’re still not convinced that Bilasa are on that big of a level that they can sell more albums than GD and SNSD. Sorry. Not buying it, figuratively and literally.

Royal Pirates “Drawing the Line”

We like Royal Pirates. We liked them before they became popular, before they were in Korea. WE’RE SO HIPSTERISH YO! And James is a nice guy and we speak with him from time to time. So we’d like to promote this song and video, because we like the band and we like the people and we like the video. And it seems like a lot of people are digging Royal Pirates here on the KpopCharts as well. I remember them getting pretty high up there, and I constantly see a stream of Tweets voting for them. We’re also in talks to do something with Royal Pirates as well. If our schedules line up, then hopefully you’ll see that video soon. Woot!

Gary ft LeeSSang “Shower Later

We laughed so profusely at this video. Are people supposed to laugh at this video? Or are they just supposed to drool? I don’t know. It’s so bad that it’s good. It’s like, Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever bad. Has anyone ever seen that video? It’s with Lucy Liu and Antonio Banderas, and it’s so exceptionally cheesy and ridiculous and illogical that you can’t help but laugh. It’s like a high school video project kind of bad, but with a much higher budget. Oh man. Side note: we always pronounce his name as Antonio Bander-ass. Don’t judge me!

Gary’s video isn’t on the same level of illogical ridiculousness, but it’s so over the top that you can’t help but laugh. It’s not witty funny, not awkward funny. It just smacks of “yo take dis money and buy as many haf-nekkid hunnies as you can” kinda thing. Watch it yourself and tell me if you’re more amused by the audacity of it or offended by it.

So, yeah! That’s it for this week’s Music Monday. I now feel like we are somewhat caught up? Maybe? It’s impossible to be up to date with Kpop. Too much comes out, man. Too much. Anyhow, subscribe for more videos just in case you haven’t yet. We’re getting somewhat close to 500,000 subscribers! Woot woot!



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