WTF - Korean Self Massager - Eat Your Kimchi

For this week’s Wonderful Treasure Find we try to figure out how to not paralyze ourselves.

Yes, we are joking. We’re not afraid of paralyzing ourselves. We just have no clue how to properly use this Korean self back massager thingy. We’ve seen our co-teachers using things like this before, and so we tried one out ourselves, but it doesn’t feel good. At all. Doesn’t feel good one bit. We’re convinced that it’s because we don’t know how to use it properly. There probably are some parts of your back into which it would feel absolutely great and relaxing to dig a hard plastic tip, but we just don’t know where those parts are hiding. Martina’s more convinced that it’ used to beat yourself in the back, rather than to dig yourself in the back, but the way that she tried out hurt her as well. Altogether, we’re not impressed, and we’re a little bit sore as well.

We think this kinda goes along with that Korean Foot Massage we subjected ourselves to. Those massages were excruciatingly painful, so much so that Martina was actually crying in the massage. This idea of pain=healing, or something along those lines, is no fun. Massages should be soothing, a little painful at times, but not all around pain. See, some people will argue that after you’ve endured the pain, you feel great afterwards, and so that’s the whole point of the massage, but that’s RUBBISH! It’s not the pain that makes you feel good, but the fact that you’re not in pain anymore that you’re happy about, it’s the contrast that gives the effect. Think of it this way: eat a burger. Seems like a decent, normal burger, yeah? Now go to jail for 30 years and eat crap. Then, when you’re free, eat a burger. ISN’T THAT BURGER THE MOST DELICIOUS BURGER OF YOUR LIFE?!?! Now, it’s not the burger that’s awesome. It’s no better than before. It’s just the fact that you’ve suffered for so long that you enjoy the burger more than before. Same with Korean massages. You get tortured for a long time, and the good feelings afterwards are those of freedom more than anything else.

Bah! That’s our opinion at least. Anyhow, does anyone know where we can find an instruction manual for these thingies? Hopefully with diagrams that show us where are the best parts to use this thing. I’m sure some people know how to use it well. Help people! Show us what to do here!