Did somebody say boobs? Because, well, boobs. Boobs! And don’t try blaming Simon for the amount of boobs mentioned in the video. Martina saw it as well and was shocked by the boobs, and shouted out “boobs” when she saw it as well (which is like, 90% of our dialogue when we watch Mad Men as well, FYI). And we don’t think that we’re alone here: the video was meant to draw our attention to the boobs. Seriously now! Lighting is a big factor in making videos, and people get paid good money if they know how to light a set well. There’s no way that the room could have been so dark, and the only real light you can see is a spotlight on the girl’s boobs. That’s not accidental. Sure, it’s not like the entire video is a boobfest, but that shot was definitely meant to make us think about the boobs. Ok, we’ve written that word enough for once.

What were we talking about? Oh yeah! The song! Holy crap is this a great song! Now, as you know, we’re not really into ballads, so when we heard the first bit of this song we were really not looking forward to reviewing it. But the song picked up a lot, really really well, and by the time the chorus comes around it feels like it grows into an entirely different song than what it was at first. Awesome! We love it when songs grow. Also, the song has a different R&B vibe than what we’re used to. Compare this to, say, TVXQ’s Before You Go. Yes, they’re totally different songs, we know. But there’s something about Jay Park’s Abandoned that sounds…American? We can’t quite pinpoint it, but there’s a different sound, an accent, a twang or something, between American and Korean R&B that we can’t quite pinpoint. Anyone else know what we’re talking about?

Also, the dance to this video was awesome (apart from the weird hat dance, which was just awkward). Jay Park’s a great dancer, and there seem to be so many moves in this video that really stand out. Usually we can only talk about one or two of the dance moves, but we could have gone on forever. We didn’t even talk about the nipple snake, or the Bambi-on-Ice. It seems like the dance has so many original and distinguishable dance moves to it that you can do any one of them and people will recognize what you’re doing (even if you do it as poorly as we do). We thought at first that this reminded us of Taeyang, because he’s also an amazing dancer, but his dance moves aren’t really as recognizable, we think. They’re phenomenal, don’t get us wrong. He’s easily one of the best dancers in Kpop in our opinion, but his dances seem to be more complicated sequences that are difficult to imitate, while Jay Park’s Abandoned has a lot of cool and easily recognizable moves. Know what we’re saying?

More about the dance moves: we called the “Where did you go, oh oh oh oh” dance move the Distracted Driver, but at first it seemed different to us. Originally, we thought he was looking at his watch, because he’s pointing to his wrist. So then we thought: why is he pointing to his wrist watch? Is he asking the time? Shouldn’t he then be saying “WHEN did you go, oh oh oh oh?” And if so, what time would he have been abandoned? Would it occur between 1 and 3PM? DUN DUN DUN! Far fetched conspiracy? Yeah, probably, but this is the kind of stuff we talk about when we watch these vids. That and boobs.
Jay Park Take a Deeper Look
Anyhow, that’s it for this week’s Kpop Music Monday. We filmed it on Martina’s birthday which was yesterday. Huzzah! Martina turned 28, even though she still acts like she’s 6 years old. Thank you for all your birthday wishes on Twitter and Facebook and Tumblr and on this site. We’re totally amazed at all the love, so, thank you. Lastly, if you’re a fan of Jay Park, and want to get his new album, you can do so by clicking on the picture here. Order it anywhere in the world: they ship internationally. Woot woot!

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