Let’s begin by saying that this is our least favourite Kpop video ever, that we’ve ever reviewed, ever. EVER. The first thing we thought of when we started looking closer at the video was this cat:

WTF

As you may recall from our Supa Luv review, we were really disturbed by the guy in the shower, who looked was acting like a pedophile. We were quickly corrected by swarms of angry people who told us that it was Eric from Shinhwa, and he can’t be a pedophile, because he’s Eric from Shinhwa! His purpose in the video wasn’t to gross out those who don’t know who he is (re: mostly everyone outside of Korea) but to appeal to the older women. Teen Top, in its essence, is a teenaged band. Their main demographic, as a result, would be teenagers. By including a sexy old guy, then women will like Teen Top and their music, because there was a sexy old guy in one of their videos. It makes perfect sense…in somebody’s mind. FYI, our next post is going to have a picture of John Cleese, because we find that our 50+ audience isn’t really that strong. Surely, having a picture of him will get the older demographic hooked!

Anyhow, Teen Top’s brilliant management decided to take this one step further. Now, those older women, the noonas, who have been hooked into loving the band because of a cameo appearance in a music video, have now transferred their love of older Eric to younger teenaged boys. The classic bait and switch! Oh you thought you’d get to be with this sexy older guy! Ha! No! Here’s a teenaged boy instead. Is anyone else getting uncomfortable with this? The older noona in the video is clearly unhappy with the exchange, since she looks utterly freaking miserable throughout the entirety of the video.

Pedonoona from Teen Top

Oh look at the joy in her eyes! She loves dating young boys!

So let’s all agree here: the marketing strategy here tried to overreach a bit, and in trying to appeal to a wider demographic, has crossed into some really creepy territory.

Next, what in the butterslaps is up with the terrible message of the song? Don’t wear perfume because my younger girlfriend will suspect me of cheating on her? Is the older girlfriend supposed to be ok with this, with the fact that her twerp of a boyfriend is blatantly cheating on his younger girlfriend? And he can tell her what she can and cannot wear? Is this really the message that a teenaged boyband – whose main audience is teenaged girls – really wants to send? Hey! Young girls, remember: Teen Top doesn’t really like you anymore. They’re into the older ladies now! Great way to alienate the people who support you the most!

Also, how about the fact that the scumbag blatantly breaks his younger girlfriend’s heart. Remember? The cute one that was introduced to all of the members of Teen Top, where they were all laughing together? Great way to crush that girl, douchebag. How easily do you think she’s going to be able to trust another guy in the future? How much of an awkward strain did you just put on all of the relationships she will have from now on? What did she do to deserve such horrendous treatment? Why couldn’t you call her beforehand and break up with her kindly? Instead, she sees you at the club with another woman, and all you do is smile at her like an inconsiderate ass?

Seriously. This song and video and marketing strategy are so royally messed up that this is without a doubt the worst video we’ve ever reviewed. There’s next to nothing good we can say about this, apart from the fact that the melody’s a bit catchy, but we’re so opposed to everything the song and video stand for that we can’t even enjoy the song at all. Teen Top’s management, stop this stupid crap. Give them some good songs they can all equally sing and dance to (rather than just having two main singers and what looks like a bunch of backup dancers), and stop trying to appeal to an older audience. You chose the name Teen Top, chose a bunch of teenaged boys to be your talent, so work with what you’ve been given. You can’t feed vegetarians meat, no matter how you try to season it, without making them sick.

Anyhow, on a less angry and upset note. Here are the bloopers from this week’s video! We were going to include that singing scene right after we said how singing about cheating on your girlfriend might make it acceptable, which is why Simon sings a song about robbing Martina’s house with his friend, Ronnie.

 
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