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Hey guise! It’s our Music Monday! It’s up on Wednesday though! As many of you know, if you follow us on Twitter or Facebook, I totally messed up my shoulder over the weekend, and couldn’t do Music Mondays as a result. It wasn’t a dislocated shoulder as we suspected. It was a muscle spasm in the neck after a combination of things, namely, the painful flight to Canada (14 hours in a small seat is really difficult for someone as huge and manly as myself), as well as not working at our normal work desks and being scrunched over a lot more as a result. Anyhow, things are better now. Woot woot! So we could finally finish our Music Mondays for this week!

Anyhow, we finally got around to reviewing two videos that we always wanted to review, but never would get a chance in hell of having voted in: TVXQ’s “Balloons” and G-Dragon’s “She’s Gone” If you haven’t seen them yet, here they are, in all their majesty:

TVXQ: Balloons
 

G-Dragon: She’s Gone
 

Yeah, these two videos are totally incompatible with one another. G-Dragon’s is badass and dark, TVXQ’s is cute and fluffy. Both are appropriate for Halloween, though! Which one speaks more to you?

Now, you know that we usually pish-posh away all cutey songs, like Bilasa’s “Beautiful Target” and F.Cuz’s “Wanna Be Your Love”. TVXQ’s fluffy abomination, though, isn’t as easy for us to sweep under the mats. It’s…it’s just so disturbing. See, while we’ve only known B1A4 as being cutesy and lighthearted, we have only known TVXQ/JYJ/Homin as being serious and badass. Mirotic, Keep Your Head Down, Ayy Girl, Intoxication: all showed a mature group of men who take themselves very seriously, either by (rolling down their sexy windows, rubbing their bananas, or turning your lights on and off obnoxiously). Seeing this video, though, even though it came before all of those videos, is totally contradictory to every video that follows it. It’s like watching Vin Diesel in the Pacifier: holy terrible casting! I’d feel more comfortable watching Wayne Brady act like a pimp. Just…just not right.

And TVXQ/JYJ/Homin seem to know, it, too. They’re smiling and cute, and are surely melting the hearts of all their fangirls, but behind their smiles you can really see how uncomfortable they are. Jaejoong’s the worst at hiding it. He’s got the smile in his teeth, but his eyes are dead serious. Ugh!

G Dragon’s video, on the other hand, while dealing with murder, is less horrific. It’s totally perfect for Halloween, and we like it a lot more than Taeyang’s “I’ll Be There,” which has a Halloween setting, but it also has a weird story/no story plot to it, and we prefer stories, if you couldn’t tell by now. We’re not really sure the point of why G Dragon is chasing this girl through what looks like one of those creepy garden mazes, and then killing her once he catches her, and then sitting around awkwardly after he murders her, but we are intrigued. There’s a meaning to this, right? It’s not just made for the sake of being cool?

On a side note, I really hope that one day our world will be rid of garden mazes. Who the hell likes these things? They’re totally freaking creepy, and they’re only used for murdering people. Come on now! Have you ever seen one used in a movie for non-creepy reasons? I think the police should be alerted anytime, from now on, that someone hires a contractor to build them a garden maze. “Yes, officer, we have a potential crazy murderer planning future murders in his oversized backyard. Be warned” And who would ever think “Hmm. What can I put in this backyard? Oooh! A Maze! Those are fun and totally not creepy!” Fact: if you have a friend with a garden maze it’s time for you to stop being friends with them.

Garden Mazes Freak Me Out

Garden Mazes Freak Me Out

G Dragon, we’re not sure how you got to this garden maze, considering how rare it is to find a backyard big enough to have a garden maze in it in Korea. What we want to know is what the process is for wanna be psycho murderers for renting these garden mazes. Do you call up the owner and reserve a murder date?

G-Dragon: Oh. Hi. Yes, I’d like to book a murdering, I mean an err umm private non-videotaped garden stroll for this Friday at midnight
Crazy Murder-Maze Owner: How many guests are attending?
G-Dragon: Just 2
Crazy Murder-Maze Owner: And how many are leaving?
G-Dragon: Just 1. I mean, damn! I said too much!

Ok enough rambling about murder mazes. And Happy Belated Halloween to everyone! In other news, this is our last Music Monday in Toronto. We’re heading back to Korea on Saturday, and should be there Sunday morning. Woot! We’ll be scripting our next Music Monday on the airplane and filming it back in our regular apartment the Sunday afternoon. Man. How time flies. We were in Canada for almost three weeks, but it only felt like 5 days tops. Anyhow, here are this week’s bloopers. Yay!

 
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  1. wtf that song and video totally don’t fit together dayum! (G-Dragon’s mv) And that sucks because knife flipping hot asian murder guys are hot ;o it would be even more hot if he wasnt sad at the ending, but like psycho-y >.> but that would fit the song even less since he says i love you girl o-o

    (ps: they do that weapon on wall thing because for some reason its psycho-y en thats sometimes hot and/or cool o-o most of the time.. (LIKE THE PART IN EDWARD SCISSORHANDS I LOVE THAT PART =D)

    ramble.

    • the video and song actually fit very well! )) if you read the lyrics, he says like I love you, but u left me, what am I supposed to do, you just played me, you don’t care about me, my feelings, u’re a b*tch, u’re cruel, I should forget you, etc.

      I especially love the last 2 lines, they were like made for this video: “There’s a weird rumor that a guy went all around to find someone. There’s a weird rumor that a girl vanished with a scream at night a few days ago”. ))))))))

  2. I live in the midwest of the U.S. We don’t have garden mazes. We have corn mazes, which I think are creepier simply because of the possibility a scarecrow might fall on you (and/or kill you).

  3. GD’s She’s Gone. Totally artsy, totally badass. I never knew he could pull off that kind of look, but he’s a genius.
    Still love TVXQ, but they…………make me sad when I think about them.
    By the way, I LOVE you guy’s taste in music. It’s pretty much the same as mine.

  4. TVXQ. simply because i’m biased. (:

  5. I love both of them, but I vote for G-Dragons she´s gone

  6. LOOOOL u guys r funny XD my vote goes for TVXQ5 balloon :333

  7. I choose TVXQ because I’m a cassie and because they have another halloween appropriate video, wich is Break out….check it, if u don’t know it:P

  8. definitely tvxq – balloons.. i was a bigbang’s fan before a tvxq’s, but how can I ever deny the cutesy of the 5 boys especially junsu.. ;)

  9. omg!! baby TVXQ!! i’ve actually seen that video before, way back when, because an old friend of mine was really into them, but i didn’t care that much… but it’s been ages since i’ve seen it and omg, they just look so YOUNG!! baby Changmin though… *kyaaa!* so cute… 

    that said, G-Dragon will always win it for me… sexy evil vampire killer who happens to be G-Dragon?? hmm… let me think… YES!! lol.

  10. I have to go with TVXQ.  After finding badass posters of them at a local kpop/goods store I went home and googled them and it turned up Balloons straight off.  While it took me a while to get into kpop after that (I was hardcore jpop), Balloons was the first korean song that I ever learned to mumble along to and will forever have a special cuddly, evil spot in my heart, mind, and soul.  (see what I did there??  hehehe)

  11. I couldn’t stop laughing when you made “Keep Your Head Down” sound all cutesy, Simon. Thank you for making my Thursday better, guys! My vote’s for G-Dragon! Never going to a maze ever. Especially if someone walks faster than I can run to escape.

  12. TVXQ. what the… I don’t even…….

  13. Oh Man! I think I saw you near my cousin’s neighborhood. I was visiting them from downtown and I saw a huge man wearing a green dragon costume pissing on a tree that’s probably why he got my attention when I was walking by I really thought I had gone crazy apparently I might have seen Simon. Not that I’m stalking you but seriously what a coincidence. :) I promise not to stalk the neighborhood or your parents (they’re probably Martina’s). I’m just really shocked that I might have seen you and I didn’t even take a picture of it.. Dang it. 
    Anyway, I can see where you come from especially with TVXQ’s Balloons. I mean the fact that I think Yunho and Xiah are the only ones looking like they’re enjoying it and their subsequent videos of a 180′ genre I supposed it wasn’t really a time for them to be picky. I mean they barely just getting popular and their company was into those cutesy stuff aka H.O.T’s Candy or their debut Hug (it’s not cutesy but you’ll get it when you see Jaejoong’s huge eyes or Xiah’s pout) or maybe just maybe SM was trying to save money and re-used some of H.O.T’s props for TVXQ since they said the TVXQ was the new H.O.T  at that time and Suju was the next Shinhwa. :)) 
    I also totally agree with this Maze things. I mean when we’re talking about going inside mazes it usually end up bad (mazes like the ones in GD MV gives a Criminal Minds-esque feel.), someone always get killed (ex. Harry Potter Tri-wizard Maze or games like Quarter Moon Murders). But if they were just outside it ends up in romantic movie (ex. Princess Diaries). All in all I don’t see why people would put a garden maze in their house :| waste of space I think.  Props to you as well for making the Cigarette “joke”/comment I mean I love GD but… let’s leave it to that.

  14. I just wanna know what your parent’s neighbors think of you two running around in their front yard in costume filming this. Hee. Anyway, hope Simon is feeling better now. My vote is for TVXQ as the much more disturbing of the two videos. We expect something like this from G Dragon, but I had to go make an appointment with my dentist over “Balloons”.

  15. OMG best choice evaaaaa!
    i totaly vote for DBSK!  i do like g dragon a lot, but how can anybody not melt with “baloons”?! i too find myself singing that song whenever im really happy or doing something exciting. junsu’s face in that video is so… *melts* and jeajoongs face just makes me laugh histericaly everytime i watch the video!

  16. You really know how to present an impossible decision! On one hand, I love G-Dragon in practically everything he does, but the one context that I can’t like him in is this garden-maze-murderer act. Creeeepy. On the other hand, I can vote for the weirdest TVXQ video in existence, one with grown men in cutesy animal suits. What to pick?

    I vote for “She’s Gone”. Murder beats kitties.

  17. I have to go with GD!!!

  18. TVXQ (or DB5K?) with Balloons, just because of the last scene with Jaejoong xD 
    When I read your entry, and found out you did a review about Balloons (and G-Dragon) I started to laugh and anticipate the last scene with Jaejoong XDDD 
    Great Job!

  19. GD’s with no doubts!!!!

  20. “This is how J-pop sounds like.” oh lol. (why do i feel slightly offended ? X’D). although i agree. and hey i love both J & K pop.

    anyways,

    BALLLLLOOOONS !

    not that i really like it, i actually, and by far, prefer She’s Gone (although i’m more of a cassie than a VIP) BUT, GD’s pv isn’t halloweenish’ and terrifying enough, imo.

  21. voting for DBSK just because i miss them as 5!!!

  22. TVXQ Balloons!!! Definitely :)

  23. I gotta vote for G Dragon on this one.  The song was pretty cool and fit the video all too well.  It was creepy and very Halloweenish, even though I usually don’t go for this kind of thing.  You’re right too, the English totally fit (a rare thing in KPop/JPop!).

    I watched Balloons after your video, and indeed, the very last scene takes on a whole new meaning (run kid! he’s gonna eat you!)

    Hope Simon’s feeling better after the shoulder incident.  I loved the array of costumes you guys had.  I had planned to be Mario and/or Luigi this year, but frankly never got around to it.  :p

  24. I prefer She’s gone as a halloween mv. It seems like a Tim Burton short film. G-Dragon is Johnny Depp. And the model is Winona Ryder. Or Cristina Ricci?

  25. I can picture the
    neighborhood grandma. She is sitting at the dining room table crocheting a
    blanket for the new great grandbaby. When she looks up she can watch the street
    (to keep an eye on the neighbors) and when she looks to the right she can watch
    the tv in the living room. The tv is tuned the Weather Channel so she could
    stay current with the weather her scattered family was experiencing.

    She hearing a dog barks but thinks nothing of it. But while
    refilling her water glass she sees someone, in a dragon suit, rolling on the
    ground while another, with horns coming out of their head, takes pictures. Wait
    a minute is that Martina? Didn’t she get married, Is that her husband, what was
    his name? Aren’t they teaching English in China? I thought Chinese kids went to
    school year-a-round.

     

    After supper (dinner for you city slickers) a grandson
    visits and grandma spends 30 minutes telling him about the dragon and fallen
    angel she saw, across the street, that afternoon. 

     

    Grandson confirms that was Simon & Martina. They don’t
    live in China, but in Korea where they used to teach English.  Now they make videos about music videos and
    junk they buy at the Korean won store. Then they put the videos on the internet
    and people watch them.

     

    How do they make money? 

     

    Youtube gives them money everytime someone watches one of
    their videos. Grandma asks another question but the grandson has run out the door
    to get Simon & Martina’s autograph and pet Spudgy. 

     

    Grandma shakes her head and wonders what has this world come
    to.

  26. I vote TVXQ… JJ’s irritated glare at the end makes the video!  I laughed so hard.  She’s gone creeps me out a little too much.  G-dragon plays the psychotic scorned lover a little too well! 

  27. So funny! I almost peed my pajamas! HAHAHA! Love the commentary on Balloons! :)

  28. G-Dragon! Words can’t even describe his amount of sexiness. I wouldn’t mind being killed by him.

  29. halloween, why dont u also review 2NE1 – It Hurts? it is soooo halloween 

  30. TVXQ balloons!!! as a fan, watching them progress in their career from cute to sexy, i saw ballooons before their sexy phase & although i was traumatized at first at grown men dancing in furry animal costumes, its AMAZING how TVXQ made me squeal like a fangirl at something i’d usually shudder at.. if anybody cud pull off this concept.. its them! totally understand for fans who saw mirotic/ their sexy phase to look back at this & be horrified.. LOL!!!

  31. Hahaha, I also watched “Balloons” after “Mirotic,” and whoa. Talk about a change in concept! Still, I have to vote for “Balloons” for sheer amount of disturbing.

    I thought you might look at MC Mong’s awesome Halloween-themed MV, “Horror Show.” :)

  32. awkward Jaejoong is sooo cute and Junsu fighting with the penguins is adorable. I agree though this… ugh. i just, theyve always had this mature and masculine image… i just cant help but be taken aback by this even though it was pre-bossing TVXQ/JYJ/HOMIN <3 Anyways, GD's more Halloween, i kind of like psychotic-girl chasing-murder maze-roaming GD.

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