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COMMENTS

So, this week’s topic is on for how long people in Korea live with their parents. We tackled this subject in two ways:

We first talked about the real estate market in Korea, and how different it is than what we’re used to in North America. Namely, it’s a lot more expensive here, not just for rent, but also because the deposits that you have to put down here are exorbitantly expensive. As a graduate in Korea, if you’ve got student loans, there ain’t no way you’re moving out of the house, cuz you ain’t got that kinda money for a key deposit just lying around. Jobs in Korea don’t pay that well, either, so…how are you gonna move out?

The second part we talked about, though, is about dependence on parents. Being a parent in Korea is a HUGE financial burden, since you have to support your kids for a very long time. And if you’re living with your parents the desire to be independent isn’t really there, since – well – why would you if you could live there for free, right?

That last point is one I’m sure a lot of people are going to argue against. I’m sure there are many people out there that’ll say “Malarky! I wanted to move out and so did my friends!” So be it. From who we’ve spoken with, and who our friends that we consulted with on the matter have spoken with, this idea of “why would I move out if I got it good here?” is common.

Ok, enough summary: Soo Zee had some interesting stats and facts that she sent us that we were afraid to mention on camera, because if you get one pronoun out of order then it becomes an entirely different stat. Copying and pasting is so much easier!

We mentioned the term “Kangaroo Jo.” At first, the term Kangaroo was applied to people that didn’t want to get jobs, and just stay students for as long as possible and be dependent on their parents. Now, though, there’s a new breed of Kangaroos. Now, they’re people who, despite the fact that they are highly educated, and have have jobs and earn money, they don’t want to be financially independent from their parents. You don’t have to pay rent if you’re living with your parents! Also, a bit of clarification: the Kangaroo term isn’t really something you call someone, like you’d call someone a Freeloader. You Freeloader! You Kangaroo! It’s not like that. It’s more like a classification of people, like Millennials or something like that.

Some interesting stats Soo Zee sent us: 60% of University graduates in their 20s are ‘Kangaroos,’ while 38.7% of those have a full time job, and 32.9% of them have part time work, according to this site here. Also, interestingly, over the past decade or so there’s been a 91% increase of people in their 30s and 40s living with their parents, from this site

Ok, I’ll leave it at that. I don’t want this to get too proper or researchy, though I’m sure that’s a good thing – that’s just not what we do here that much at EYK. We’d like to get back to fart jokes, if possible :D

Let us know what the situation’s like where you’re from. I know for us the contrast in family dynamics between Korean families and our families was very surprising. What’s it like where you’re from? More Korean? More Western? Or something different? We’d love to read your thoughts on the matter. I’ve got my money on Sweden having things all figured out, for some reason. Must be all that cheap furniture!

Also, if you found this topic interesting, and like these TL;DRs of ours, make sure you click on this pretty button below right here so you can subscribe for more TL;DRs. It’s the financially responsible thing to do!

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  1. I grew up in the south (Texas) so everything is very family oriented. It’s very normal to move back in after college so you can save a bit of money to get your own place but you do pay a little for rent or food. The stigma though is you do not use your parents money, and you need to become independent rather quickly. If you’re at home when you’re 25+ (if you’re done with school) then you seem like a freeloader (at least to my own experiences with myself and friends). I do have to say though when your parents get older they normally move in with you, and you take care and support them. We are taught to respect and take care of our elders. I can’t imagine living with my parents long after college, I’d be ashamed.

  2. To add to what my other fellow Mexican-Americans are saying, you are expected to help your parents even if you move out. It’s looked down upon, if you have a really good job, and aren’t helping your parents financially at least a little bit. So if you are still living at home, even if you don’t work, you have to contribute to the household i.e. cooking, cleaning, etc specially if you are a woman.

  3. http://theweek.com/article/index/248332/how-long-is-it-okay-to-live-with-your-parents-after-college#axzz33MqMTRAu

    Check this out. It takes a good look at the statistics of the issue and gives an over all look at the stigma.

  4. I with I had 10 grand lying around.

  5. My mom is pretty much kicking me out once I get into a university. We are originally from the Philippines, but we live in the US now. She wants me to get a job once I’m old enough for the requirements of places here, not so that I can pay rent, but so that I know what it’s like to have a job and earn money, etc. But she said once I turn 18, or once I go to college, I shouldn’t live with her because to her, it makes me seem like I’m still trying to be a kid by living with my parents. I think once I have a job, she wants and expects everything to be backwards — she wants me to be the one buying her things (like jewelry, bags, clothes, etc.)

  6. As a Korean, I’m curious about the fact that Korea is very family oriented in general. You showed the drama ‘Mr. Wang’s family’ as an example, but I wonder real Koreans are living with their parents. Actually, we are not. Koreans usually become independent when they’ve got a job or married. According to each family, it can be faster or later. In the traditional society, three generations were together in the same house. However, nowadays most families are in the form of nuclear family. I think the drama you have mentioned just had a concept of extended family to make the story much variously. And most of Korean dramas do like this way as a same reason. So I understand why forigners misunderstand. But I hope you don’t believe as it is what dramas show to you. Plus, there are some strong points of extended family also. We learned wisdom, courtesy and etiquette from grand parents in the traditional society. Also it made family relationship more stronger. And in these days, though we live apart, we also have time to communicate with big family usually in national holiday such as Seol-nal, and Chu-seok. We just have strong family relationship, and learn how to respect other in our own family culture. Consequently, I would like to say that we are not that family oriented as you saw in a certain drama, and are independent enough.

  7. DesOkun

    I am currently about to turn 37. I live in TX, US. My parents got
    divorced when I was 12 and my mom became disabled a copule years later,
    just after we moved from CA to TX. My brother and I had to care for
    everything with very little money from our mom’s disability, so my
    brother started working in high school. My mom told me to wait a bit
    and then I started when I was in my second year of college. Times were
    really tough for many years. Eventually my brother and I got full time
    government jobs and co-signed on a manufactured home, so we took our mom
    off of everything. I guess it was a good thing we did start supporting
    ourselves full-time since our mom passed away at age 51 when I was 25
    and my brother was 24. My brother had just had a kid (not married, but
    she lives with us also). So it was a good thing we had already started
    being independent and learned to care for a home when we did; otherwise,
    when our mom died, we would have had nothing and nowhere to start.

    Its been about 11 1/2 years since my mom died and both my brother and I
    still keep up the home together. We have our ups/downs, etc. and my
    co-workers think I should “divorce” my brother, but we have always
    needed to depend on each other and have been able to do so.
    Technically, even though we both have full-time government jobs, neither
    of us could afford to live on our own and we even live in a cheaper
    city, state than our family who still live in CA, which is VERY
    expensive.

    So although we technically still live at home, we are
    self-supporting and co-supporting. In fact, my brother just let me
    borrow about $5k (from my nephew, but he knows I’m good for it since he
    knows where I live; next room over LOL) for another car since mine
    died. We’ve carpooled alot lately since his car is having trouble also.

    I have a great deal more debt than my brother, including those nasty
    student loans for degrees I don’t even use >:-o, but I have much
    better credit, which is why I had to co-sign and why my brother does not
    harass me since he pays a bit more each month than I do. He does have a
    slightly better paying job than me, but he has his son and the mother
    living here (she doesn’t work; only gets a little SSI), which is another
    story altogether.

    Anyway, our situation is a bit of a mix of
    both sides since we are independent and pay for everything ourselves
    together, but technically still would be living at home ir our mom was
    still alive.

  8. Zane Apine

    A topic that I can relate too. I’m 17 and currently living in Germany with my family(we moved here)and many people my age that I have met here are already moving out, because of various reasons, for example because they are arguing with their parent too much. I can’t imagine being all grown up and totally independant. I depend on my parents pretty much, sure it’s stupid and I feel like a burden, but even my parents can’t imagine me moving out, especially because we all moved to Germany together, they are the only people I have here in this place. I start to feel like a fool.

  9. So what do you guyes think about Chad Future and the whole idea of White people in KPOP,i know you guyes are mad homies (yo!) with BuskerBuskerBrad,did he get any hate for the fact of him being white and not asian?Plus,do you think that Chad has any actuall chance of being big in Korea or..well anywhere?

  10. Betsy Nguyen

    in veitnamese culture if the family has a son then the son and the son’s wife will live at the home forever, the daughter on the other hand stays with her husbands family and won’t see her family again for a long time.

    • That’s so weird. I’m Viet (living in US now) and it’s the complete opposite in my family back in Vietnam. I have 4 uncles-in-law living with my aunts and grandma in the family house. So in my family, it’s the guy that leaves their family to go live with the bride’s family. I also have some uncles/aunts that moved into their own place, but no aunts that left to go live with their husband. My old neighborhood in Vietnam, some of my married male neighbors are living with their wife’s family and some couples there bought the place themselves. I rarely know any Vietnamese women that moved in with the husband’s family. I don’t know, is it just different parts of Vietnam? I haven’t lived there in a while, so I don’t know how it is now with that old neighborhood of mine and new couples?

  11. Hi, in Czechia we are somewhere in the middle. There is a strongly family-oriented culture, mostly because many years the estate market was centrally directed and it was not easy to get a flat accordings to your wishes. So the families stuck together (which was accented by the political situation) and built a more-generation family houses, where the families were fighting together and loving or hating each other the best they could. And the niveau of elderly people care was very low, and a for a good family it was a shame to send their granny to such an insititution. But there was a working duty for everyone as well, so once you got out of schools, you was supposed to work, to share the expenses as much as you could, and possibly marry very soon (around 18) and start own family – and live near the parents or in the same house. But because starting family is very expensive, the parents supported the children still after that.

    In the last 25 years, things has changed very much, but still if you live with your parents as an adult, you can be considered as OK, as long as you work for the family and share the costs. Or you can move out as soon as you have schools finished and work regularly. I think as well as the Mexican girl who wrote her comment, it is much easier to move out and live my own life, but even so I feel the duty to the family, I feel the urge to visit very often (every 2 weeks at the very least), bring small gifts and help with the chores as much as I can. Because this is what a good daughter/son does, as was the unwritten rule of our childhood.

    Of course there is a group of working people living at home and never bringing any money back, or very little. It is called “Mama hotel” and the people, mostly men, are considered as lazy and without principles (even if they work very hard at their jobs). Mostly men, because the girls are at least supposed to do some chores as a repay.
    So there is no stigma to live with parents, but there are rules for it.

  12. Hagar Tareq

    Hello guise !
    I’ve watched the episode and I liked it a lot .. I learned so much from it ^^ Thank you guise you’re the best!
    I’d like to share with you and all the nasties some facts about the country I live in. Hope you fine these facts useful ^^
    I’m from Egypt so I’m going to talk about what happens in Egypt which is nearly the same as in the Middle East ..
    It’s so different here than in North America but a bit similar to the situatuon in South Korea ..
    Here, it depends on whether you’re a man or a woman..
    Men have to study very well and to join top colleges in order to get a good job amd be able to help their families .. but they live with their families till their marriage .. Families always help .. they buy the apartment, the Shabka ” the gold jewelry given to the bride”, the Mahr, “a sum of money given to the bride as a gift which is obligatory”, and also the furniture ..
    For women, they don’t have to do anything other than studying and helping at home .. sometimes they have the right to go out to work and make their own money but not all the parents allow that .. they live with their parents until their marriage .. The woman’s family always buys her the Gehaz, which is every thing related to her new kitchen, clothes, and appliances.
    But women can never move out of their parent’s houses before marriage ..
    Men can do that if they have to live in the capital away from their parents who live in other provinces.
    When men become at the right age for marriage, their moms start looking for wives .. and even way before that. Women have to get married before the age of 28 or higher because they will be looked down upon and named spinsters which isn’t cute at all here or anywhere ..
    Men have to support the family .. women have to take care of the house and the kids ..
    Also, you have to get your parent’s approval of whoever you’re going to marry if you choose not to marry the way mentioned above .. and you won’t be able to get married to that person unless you get your parets permission, or you will be defying your parents’ will . Thus, they will be mad at you and you will be cursed for a lifetime :D .. *Never underestimate that :D*
    Sometimes when the man is very poor and can’t afford to buy an apartment, he lives with his wife in his parents’ apartment..
    Also, sometimes the man’s father buys a land and builds a block in which all his sons live in .. Everyone takes an apartment and they all get together on Fridays and on feasts in the main appartent which belongs to the the man’s father. So this stigma that you guys talked about doesn’t exist here, as they have to live with their parents ..
    But fortunately, this concept is changing because of the new generation who doesn’t believe in these unreasonable traditions such as not allowing women to go to work and so on ^^

  13. silver surfer

    The trend in the UK and USA now is for young people to delay moving out, and even to move back in. House prices are ridiculous and jobs are hard to come by.

  14. I’m sure that there have already been a lot of comments about this topic regarding American culture, but I guess I’ll add my two cents. Most people who live with their parents even immediately after graduating high school are pressured into moving out. I personally have a lot of friends who insist on moving as far away from home as possible. The issue with this is the cost of college and living expenses. It’s pretty much impossible for a student to work and earn the money to pay for college since costs for tuition alone are thousands of dollars per year and the cost of a living space can be burdensome as well. Most parents or family members DO pay for college, or assist with paying. Living at home is not often seen as a cost-effective way to live, but as being lazy or leeching from parents. However, it is being somewhat more accepted as time has passed. For example, my dad moved out of his house and went to college when he was 17, but my older brother lived at home until he was 19 (he goes to a community college).

  15. Ana Paula Pires

    I’ve read most of the comments and I get the general feeling that: for hispanic (plus Brazil – where I’m from), middle east, eastern asia, south europe, general asia, is common to stay with your parents until you get married – especially girls. So… can I say that for most of the world’s population is more common that family-oriented perspective?
    I’m 22, brazilian, and there is just a little pressure in my house for me to move out, since I get my bachelor’s degree. First I have to get a full time job, and MAYBE get enough to buy a little tiny apartment – in my city is just too much expensive. But the pressure to find someone and get married is a huge thing, I think.

  16. My mother worked in the banking industry right up until the 2007-2008 global financial crisis; around the same time, my father was diagnosed with cancer. Because of his pre-existing health problems (i.e. not enough health insurance to cover his bills), my tuition money had to be used to keep my parents from being (financially) wiped out. I now take classes online and work part-time to cover my expenses while our entire family tries to stabilize our respective situations…

    Wait! I have a quick TL;DR question too! What are the fonts you guise use? The cute handwriting font that also has Korean characters, and the adorable font you used in your older videos (the exclamation point is a heart). I’d love to get them for myself (for non-commercial use, of course). Thanks for being upbeat and funny, and double thanks for no-smell-o vision during the last pre-recorded live chat. Simon, stop farting on air; it’s awkward…

  17. My parents said once I get married I have to gtfo lol so I can have my own family without their, or my spouse’s parents’ interference. From what I see in my family (and my friends’ too kind of), when the parents are old, one of the children will live with the parents to take care of their elderly parents, while other children will visit once in a while or as often as they could depending on how it is, but to not take care of your ageing parents are highly frowned upon in Indonesia (or at least with my upbringing).

    And I also get that itch just watching your video because…………………. you’re an adult with a full-time job :O I understand that they can’t move out because of the house price but to not contribute to household expenses and instead mooch off your parents is a super foreign concept to me.

  18. simon and martina, could you make a video about injuries in kpop idols? Many of them work despite having injuries. Why? Is this because of the company or themselves being careless?

  19. I’m from Uruguay and it’s ok for you to live with your parents and for them to pay for your stuff. For a while. For example, after finishing highschool your parents rent an apartment so that you can go to university, pay for bills,transport, food, etc, once you are done with uni, you move back with your parents, and get a job and then, after a while you get a place. It can be a house or an apartment, but it tends to be something you BUY. Some people get a job while studying and rent a place, others have been saving up money since they where 15 and get married and buy a place. It depends a lot on whether you can afford to not help your parents or not. There is no stigma about living with your parents up until you are like 30ish, but if you have a job, its not that you are expected to help, but you feel the obligation to. But one thing that is different (and that i find curious) is that people BUY places, a house, an apartment, a lot they can build a house on, I suppose it’s more permanent and gives them a sense of security.

  20. DxENxNguyen .

    Hi Simon & Martina, i’m almost graduating from high school in Australia to prepare for university, and the degree I’ve chosen includes 1 year of studying abroad, and i have decided to choose Korea. Specifically, is it possible for you guys to tell me about the the process of boarding houses or accommodation? And also the what kind of part time jobs are possible for students and the rates of pay and hours? Thank you! :)

  21. Anna Yaxin Tian

    Hey ^^
    Not sure if I’m doing it right, question for S&M:
    What do you guys think about sassing fan?
    I do know that they follow idols around and being a pain in the butt, but is there other things that they do to idols that international fans might not know of?
    And what’s the Korean law on them and how does the Korean society react to them?
    THX

  22. Hannah Bergen

    Hey guys, I am from California and feel your pain concerning Mexican food. I live in Sinchon (the one near Hongdae) and have found a legit Mexican restaurant just off Yonghui-ro. The side street its on is Donggyo-ro 46 gil. Its name is B’Mucho and the owner is a young Mexican guy from D.F.

  23. Hi Simon and Martina :)
    I am Iranian, and I wanted to say that we have the same culture as Korean people . Our parents will support us as much as they can too, like the same thing that you guys said about the wedding money and furnitures and etc. But the only different is that in our culture moving out of our parents house ” before ” wedding is weird :D
    I don’t know ” anyone ” who lived on their own or lived with their Girl/Boy friend !!!
    Thank you, you guys are Awesome :)

  24. Here in Brazil it’s pretty much the same, you stay with your parents until you get married or save enough money to pay rent (wich need a co-signer, usually your dad). But most of it depends on social status. Rich people buy apartments for their kids when they get married, poor people squeezed themselves in whatever place their parents home have. Middle class strugle,and strugle, and postpone their marriage, until they get a governemnt financial house loan (wich are very hard to get and not cheap).
    However our culture dictates that you should help around with expenses when you are living with your parents, like pay a electricity bill, or food, stuff like that. Your parents most of the time won’t ask you for that, but there’s a moral sense that tells you to do it. And the older the parents mor you feel compelled to pay.
    But since we are all human beings, we also have a lot of freeloaders, who are badmouthed behind their back and in their faces, but since they are shameless freeloaders, they don’t care (i have family members like that

  25. Wishy

    A lot of Asian cultures have a strong family tie. The way I’m being raised, though, is more like: “We support you now, you support us later!” instead of a “Aww, my liddle widdle child, I’ll take care of you forever.”

  26. Giorgia Giuliani

    Hi, I am from Italy and the situation there, I have to say unfortunately, is pretty much like in Korea but for different reasons. Because of the economic crisis it is really difficult to find jobs (unemployement rate is skyrocketing) and thus move out of your parents house. Part-time jobs are hard to find especially in small towns and long-term contracts have almost disappeared.
    Watching your video, I found myself somehow disagreeing with some of the things you said. It must be true that there are some girls or boys wasting their money, but , for what I know, the situation in Korea is not really easy for young generations. They are raised with the pressure of meeting impossible standard of perfection to face others: basically parents expect a lot from their kids, academic excellence in the first place, followed by a good place in a big company (where is really hard to obtain a job) but most of all, they want to be taken care of by their kids when they get older. Since housing is so expensive, getting a steady job is more and more difficult (it can take up years to finally get into a good company) and there are no hospices or home institutions for the elders, it is expected of kids to take care of everything when their parents get old.
    Married couples, for example, move usually in with one of the two families (usually the family of the groom, but it can vary) so that the daughter-in-law can take care of her in-laws. If this young couple then decides to have kids, besides the care of the elders and the household, the daughter-in-law does also have full responsibility for raising the child, as the husband is always out for work. The fact is that in South Korea there is no help from the government for what concerns childcare or hospices, and if someone wants to resort to them or to kindergardens, they are extremely expensive (like half of the monthly wages).
    If the grandparents of this imaginary child are still in good health and want to take care of him/her so that their daughter in-law can work, then, they become like baby-sitters (who have a very dreadful image in South Korea, by the way) but even in this case scenario there is still a lot of pressure on the young couple as the generation gap is huge and tension can build up, especially when living under a small roof.

    I took the example of the young married couple, because marriage is an essential part of life for South Koreans. Youngsters in their twenties cannot stay forever that age, and especially women are expected to get married (and have babies) before a certain age or they are looked down upon. The citizen is part of a community and the community must stay together (families living together) and must grow (marriages and children). If the citizen does not behave this way he cannot be considered part of this community and loses his identity.
    Actually, I think it does not make a lot of sense to compare the North American individualistic and freedom-based lifestyle with the collective shame-based South Korean one, because those 3 or 4 years of college will be the only period of ‘relative freedom’ and ‘relative carefreeness’ for young people in South Korea. So if they have some money and they can finally spend it on what they want after the hell of school from 7 to midnight for 15 years, and before the hell of having to take care of everybody in their family, let them live. Soon in 2050 there will be so many old people in South Korea and Japan that it will be required of every adult to take care of them, pretty tough, right?

  27. Emma Turner

    From my experience, the UK is more like the attitudes you guys are familiar with in Canada. People want to move out asap – however, it’s getting harder and harder to moe out and buy your own place, especially if you’re on your own, so most people rent. I’m the only single person I know with a mortgage, and I could only do that because I saved up from 16 until 26 and the government have recently set up a ‘help to buy’ scheme for peeps like me (atm they own 20% of my house, I own the other 80% – so am only paying for 80% of the price of my house). Also my parents and grandparents helped! So most young people have to rent if they want to move out. Monthly payments are similar to a mortgage but renting has a much, much smaller deposit!

    The UK also has a lot of social housing, which is where people earning below a certain amount can live (renting) in a government-owned house for less than you’d pay on the private market. Trouble is, there aren’t enough of these houses around and there’s a waiting list that can be 9 or 10 years long!

    Anyway, I think my point was that in the UK, people WANT to move out but sometimes it can be really hard, so in a lot of cases there are people well in their 20s and beyond who still with their parents. I have two friends for example, both 27, both living at home despite not wanting to simply because they can’t afford to move out. Another friend, also 27, is just about to move out but she’s worked out that she won’t have much money left at the end of every month after bills have been paid and food bought – but she thinks its worth the sacrifice!

  28. Hi guise! Loved the post, i’d never thought that thing are that way in Korea. Here in Brazil there’s a lot of similar things like live with your parents during and after college since it’s very expensive to rent or buy a place, so we usually go to college years and a couple years after graduation living there. I’m turning 18 and going to college in the end of the year, and I don’t plan moving out anytime soon. :D
    But you start helping financially when you get a job, and people usually move out when they get married since you got your spouse money to help with the mortgage.
    Of course that there’s situatins where you move to another state to go to college (since Brazil it’s a huge country), so your parents pay your rent and food and everything because part time jobs don’t pay that well and sometimes you don’t get any money, just school credits. Federal schools are the best options, because you have the best education and don’t have to pay for it, so it’s okay for your parents to pay for your things.
    Love you guise, kisses from Brazil!!

  29. well in Costa Rica the reality is very similar to South Korea in this matter. Usually Latinamericans are very family orientated and it is not weird to be well in your 20’s or 30’s and still live with your parents. When I was little I grow up watching a bunch of american programs in which they emphasized that at the moment I would be 18, I had to move out and have a job. I used to tell my mom that that was the right thing to do and she gave me the stink eye and a whole brief on why that was stupid and totally cold hearted, with the main reason that she comes from a very large poor tipical latino family from the 70’s and that family is were the heart is. This is one of the reason we have situations on why even if you have a job, unless you are getting married your parents won’t let you move out.
    Also there’s the economic issue. The reality is that even though I’m a university graduate, finding a job is extremely difficult because every single carrer is over saturated; you go to college and studied what you wanted but they never told you that because of the current economic structure of the country is outdated, there’s simply not enough money to pay all the professionals out there: there’s more doctors and lawyers working at call centers or working as taxi drivers than professionals actually doing what they studied for. Also Costa Rica is the most expensive country in Central America, so if that tells you anything about daily expenses and mortgage well it’s really difficult for one person and even worst on students.

    So for me at my age is not possible to move out of my parents house because of money (my main and only reason to be honest) and also because I don’t have a partner to marry to. To give you a more precise example my best friend only move out of her parents house when she got married, even though she had an stable job for 2 years already but when she had her baby she move to a rental house that was closer to her parents house because of the fact that they could help her out with the upbringing of the baby wthich doesn’t translates to monetary help but for her is a one burden less. There are other factors like education which is linked to poverty and to teenage pregnancy but this comment is long enough as it is. Hope I contributed a little bit :D

  30. I live in Canberra (the captial city of Australia) and here the rent is very expensive. Easily $350 – $500 a week for somewhere mid range at best. Because of this, I don’t know a single student who manages to live out of home and there is still a massive stigma if you still live at home into your 20’s. We also have deposits that are usually 2 months worth of rent

  31. I am from Singapore and currently, the pressure to move out isn’t as strong as before because of the cost of living and the property prices in Singapore. And Singapore is too small for you feel that far away from your parents which makes it a bit less useful to stay away from them.

    I am currently in university and my campus is situated at the whole other extreme end of Singapore, so the students who live furthest away from school, who take more than an hour to travel to campus, usually live in dormitories. We have dormitories on the campus which costs about a little over a thousand dollars for 1 semester which is about 5-6 months. For freshmen, there are no requirements to live on campus but after that, undergraduates have to accumulate points to be able to stay in their dormitories; international students get straight 9 points whereas students living in the country are given points based on where they stay, if they stay at the complete opposite end of Singapore, they might get 8(?) points. It doesn’t stop at just that, 8 or 9 points is not enough for you to stay in the hall, you have to actively engage in school or hall(they call dormitories hall) activities to earn enough. While their parents pay for their dormitories, students who wants to live in dormitories also have to do their part by being active in school. I think that is a win-win situation for both parents and students because both have to contribute to allow the student to stay on campus. I don’t stay on campus because I live pretty near.

    As for students working, a considerable amount of students do juggle work and studies, one example is me, but there are some who don’t work while they study, it doesn’t really matter to the parents usually. For students living in campus, there are some on scholarship so they have their allowances, others work when there are some opportunities in the campus itself whereas I work outside. I chose to work because I am doing a course(design) that requires some money, I feel very bad to put all the financial pressure on my parents on my school spendings. My parents still give me the same monthly allowances I got when I was not working in the first semester. So me working is just to help me in my course and save up to travel and further my studies in the future. One good thing I have to mention about my university is they have the work scheme, where students who apply that have some rules as to how many hours they work per week so they can better balance their studies. I am not part of it(meaning I work over the quota of hours) but I think I am doing fine.

    As for school fees, for certain reasons, my school fees are free. Others take bank loans, subsidies and some pay using their parents’ Central Provident Fund(CPF – some sort of government savings account for you to buy houses, pay for medical fees, etc). It is extremely easy to use their parents’ CPF but the catch is – the person who uses the CPF would have to pay back to their parents’ CPF when they start working. So it is not all rosy and easy, once the student graduates he or she has to work because they have to pay back.

    Once we start working, most of us would probably give money to our parents, that is the societal norm. To us, it is filial piety, we respect+love our parents and giving them money is an achievement to us. Usually the money parents get would go to household spendings if both parents are no longer working, or just to their savings. I have had a serious talk about this with my parents and they would most probably save it, not really for them, but for me, if I want to get married or study further. But I am entirely fine if they want to use the money for themselves, they are my parents and I feel indebted to them.

    Touching on marriage, getting married is expensive! I think there is some hidden pressure to make your wedding look grand and luxurious etc, people spend over $10k for a wedding day! And in my culture, I am Malay, there are dowries to be paid by the groom to the bride’s family. It is also expensive, during the 90s, the ‘market rate’ was $2-6k, but now, it is about $8k onwards, no limits, some people go over $15k. How the dowry money is set is based on no criteria, just whatever the bride’s family wants. But sometimes it is associated with the level of education of the bride because parents who have high educated brides would think – I paid so much for daughter to study, I won’t let her go at a little amount of dowry. For me, I have a long long time before I think about marriage because I want to study, so let’s see the ‘market rate’ in 10 years’ time.

    I briefly touched on the topic of property prices in Singapore in my first paragraph, property prices are sky high. Let me tell you how much it has rocketed, my house was a quarter of a million dollars 10 years ago, now it is worth more than half a million. Due to the tight supply of houses in Singapore, there are requirements for someone to buy a house, 1) get married – to encourage marriage, 2) if you are single, wait until you are 35, but this, you would also have to have some financial stability. Because of the tight supply of houses, the government body in charge of housing introduced a new type of apartment called the 3-gen flat, in which there are 3 bathrooms, 4 bedrooms, a living room etc to fit in 3 generations, meaning grandparents, parents and children(who might already be married). This 3-gen flat is different from the usual flats since there usually only 2-3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. In Singapore, we are most likely not trying to freeload on our parents’ flats but more of, we don’t really have the financial means to move out, even if we have, we have to order an apartment which takes a few years to ready for us. We don’t freeload either, because children are sort of expected to give their parents money to lift their financial burdens.

    In a nutshell, most single Singaporeans live with their parents for a long time but they don’t freeload, whereas those who get married usually move out. But sometimes, when the married move out, their parents also follow to live with them(which makes it a bit redundant to move out?).

  32. I think in Europe it’s a bit of both. My parents are from Russia, and after they married they moved out of their respective parent’s apartments and in with my mother’s parents. There you wait and wait to sell the apartment you lived in, I think for key money or a long term payment, but those who can afford it have a summer home in the country and an apartment, also another apartment they rent out, but need to sell. I felt really happy to live with my grandparents and parents in their summer home, if only for a short time, I feel like each home should have at least one grandma or grandpa, they take care of the children when you’re away, whenever I watched the Brady Bunch I thought the housekeeper was their Grandma! Family is pretty important there, living with neighbors who are really really close to you, come over and eat with and chat with for hours and hours, is a regular part of life, even if you live in a dinky apartment you get to know your neighbors, there are housewarming gifts, etc. But I do know a lot of people who live out on their own and move in with their girlfriends/boyfriends/fiance like in America, it’s getting more Americanized there and there’s more independence among the youth. It’s normal there to stay with your parents (usually in an apartment in the city) until you get that one good job or when you get married. Now that I live in America I miss my relatives. Here I still live with my parents, I really don’t want to live alone, because it’s such a burden. I would have to work, study, cook, clean, and manage not to sleep to get it all done. Plus, it can be really lonely, how can you live alone, if you have no one to hug when you come home, no one to say “I’m home!” to? A cat is nice, but if you have chronic health problems (I sleep way too much and can’t help it, generally weak, etc. etc.), it’s a bit impossible because you’ll be taking care of the pet as well as yourself. There’s that phenomenon here in the US, where independent kids move out for college, then come back to live with their parents! The job market is bad, but less and less people are getting married, or have a reliable job to actually afford rent, even in a cheap situation, because companies are reducing full time jobs to part time and just don’t want to pay anyone a proper wage. Plus my generation is extremely lazy, frankly, it’s way more affordable to live with your parents because you can afford internet that way. I’m still not sure if I will move out, or move at all. I don’t know what will happen after college or grad school. Will I take my guinea pig or let her stay with my Mom? She could get really lonely, too. XD

  33. dacebalenn

    thanks to military service, i was moved out on my own allowance when i turned 18 (>.<)

  34. Sara Suzanne Berg

    Awesome video (though for some reason it would only load in 240p for me :( )
    Anyhoo.
    I’m from Minnesota and I was raised on a typical North American style of independence type… yeah. My dad left the house when he was like 17 almost (he was kicked out I think) and my mom left at like 18 or 19 too and they were married by the time they were 22/20 respectively (my mom couldn’t even drink legally at her wedding, lawl)
    ANYWAY
    My dad thinks we should be out, living on our own, supporting ourselves, etcetc. But my mom is okay if, for whatever reason, we need help. At 27 I moved back home with my parents for 3 1/2 (almost 4) months until I came to Korea. Before that I would sleep over at my parents house frequently. As my siblings and I are all older (27, 28, and 31) with NO kids I feel like my mom has some ‘empty nest’ hardcore going on. She is always willing to help us out whenever we are in a tight spot.
    My brother has moved back home more frequently than any of us three kids. I know I would always have a home with my parents if something happened.
    I, however, am very independent and moved out when I was 21 (dorm living for two years before that). My rent was even cheaper then Simons (unless that 500 was for the whole apartment… if it was his half, then yes. Much cheaper. My apartment was 585 completely. So my half was 242.50?) and now I live by myself and I don’t ever want a roommate again.

    Anyway. That’s the way it is with me. >> Independent but we always have a home and my parents help us out money wise a lot. More then they probably should. lol

  35. Tri├čten Kodee Johnson

    This is interesting to me. I understand the dynamic (I have even seen it first hand), but I guess it’s a little hard for me to wrap my head around. In the US I have known SEVERAL people whose parents threw them out, some even before the age of 18. SO this seems like a ‘security.’ I was out of the house at 16, not 100% by choice, so I kind of envy them that security.

  36. sorkii sorkii

    In my culture (I’m from the sub-continent), leaving your parents and living by yourself used to be almost unheard of. There is no culture of letting your parents fend for themselves once they grow elderly or at worst putting them in a nursing home.

    The way it generally works is the daughters in a family move in with their inlaws and sons stay with their parents after marriage. You end up with a bunch of generations in each case living under the same roof.

    I wasn’t raised in my home country, so we’ve grown up like everyone else thus far. But now that we are getting older, I’ve noticed to idea of “moving out” is becoming a really popular option for a lot of my classmates and friends. For me it would be out of the question at the moment, because it isn’t the thing to do in our culture. In our culture, parents take on a huge responsibility to take care of their children until they are settled in life, but in return the kids also have to take care of their parents till the end.

    The idea of independence is pretty uncommon I would think. There might be a sliver of it in some people’s uni years (dorm/hostel life) but there’s definitely not a total detachment at any point.

    We’re the exception, because we live overseas in a Western country with no relatives nearby whatsoever. And I do think this culture is slowly changing but I wonder how that will affect the ageing population as a whole. Respect towards your elders is a huge thing in my culture and I wonder how that is going to change.

  37. Krystal Egdell

    I’ve been living out of home for at least 10yrs, but the reason I left home wasn’t because I was told to go. My parents sold the house we called our home, so they could move to the country!!
    I live in Melbourne, Aus, and both of my parent were country kids. They moved to the big city when they were in their late teens and met in the big smoke.
    Fast forward, they got jobs, had one child (little old me), bought a house and lived the dream. During this time they taught me the importance of earning your own living and being responsible. But apparently the call of the wild was too much for my parents. Just as my last year of high school started, they let me know they wanted out, and bought a country property. So for my final year of high school I knew that once I finished, my parents were leaving home. Talk about having to grow up and figure out what it was all about!!! Towards the end of the year an auction was held, and the place I had grown up in, was sold to a bunch
    of nuns. I now had no home to call my own anymore
    From that point I spent some time at their property, and time in the city with friends, until I managed to rent a place with a flatmate from another state. The big thing was getting bond together (a form of Key money, but only an extra month of the rent money) which wasn’t too bad, as we both had shitty menial jobs. Ho boy, did my parents have to help out in some cases, but never did they just expect me to use them as a source of income. I really think it all comes comes down to your upbringing, as well as your own expectations as to what the world owes you.
    On the flip side, I am now married and live with my husband in a small but convenient apartment near the edge of the city, but we just haven’t been able to save to get our own place. Our rent, bills & expenses just trump being able to make any meaningful savings (plus the fact my husband has decided to go to uni means less money (but seriously I am so proud of him for following his dream, I’m happy to live in a kick-ass apartment that is just within our mean) but is still able to survive with no savings)
    What this means is that I don’t have the monetary support to buy a house right now, but I have a better chance to rent one that Sth Korea does.
    Wow, I apologise for the waffle, but I needed to let you know what my experience was.
    That is the best thing about this comment section, I feel safe enough to offload ^_^

  38. Hi guys ;) Greetings from Lithuania! The situation here is a bit of both (North America and Korea). We usually live with our parents until our education is over,which is graduating university, because parents pay for everything and we don’t have the money to move out. But a lot of people leave their parents house after high school, cause they go to study in other cities and have no choice but to rent an apartment or live in university accommodation,for which,again,parents pay and after that it sort of naturally follows that you start to live on your own. Since we have a bit of independent streak, a lot of people try to find part-time jobs to have money of their own, but it’s not a crime if your parents still support you (pay the rent) until you finish your studies and find a stable job. And if you’re family is poor, we tend to stay together to help financially. I think that a lot depends on family’s financial situation, so if it’s cheaper to live with your parents, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, but what often happens is that if you have a job, you pay the rent to your parents. On the other hand, we want to have financial and living independence as well, cause it brings freedom and parents can’t really control you, what is not unusual. As I said, it depends on financial situation you’re in.

  39. Stephanie C

    I think the other thing is that, and may have been mentioned below, is that once you enter high school in south korea a lot of my friends have told me there is a strong pressure to be in a relationship, that only grows with going to university (many have told me you shouldnt really be single), and then even more in the workforce, all towards getting married. With that there is a stigma about living with a partner before marriage (various Korean folks have told me it is just highly uncommon and unusual, and my personal observation is probably more closeted LGBTQ relationships do this than hetero ones), and there used to be more of a moral stigma to moving out before marriage, but not really anymore. So, because of all this it was mostly families/married couples getting apartments, single people just didnt really do this in the 80’s and 90’s (if they did they were like, small one bedroomish closets a friends father told me) and so deposits went higher and higher since those folks had more money to give, until now where it just reinforces that married couples/families only can really afford to move. Also this is about Seoul, I heard other cities, apparently regardless of size, can be similar are vastly different (outside Seoul, when comparing, a lot of college kids live in apartments because the schools dont have enough dorms and they arent from there, generally from seoul or busan)

  40. Lushi Baram

    Well in Israel the things are a bit different, I mean in America some of the people move out even when they’re 18 to go to college but in Israel that cannot happen, since in the age of 18 (both boys and girls) have to go to the army for 2/3 years even when they’ll get out of it in the beginning of their 20’s they wouldn’t have the money to pay for the university, not talking about an apartment, especially in the big city’s. So some of people get a lot of help from their parents and get a “loan” (that you never actually pay back) and rent something with another students (or not students and just people who can’t afford to live alone) and some people just stay to live with their parents, it’s not uncommon to see people (mostly students) in their 20s and even in the beginning of their 30s living at their parents house.

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