So, this week’s topic is on for how long people in Korea live with their parents. We tackled this subject in two ways:

We first talked about the real estate market in Korea, and how different it is than what we’re used to in North America. Namely, it’s a lot more expensive here, not just for rent, but also because the deposits that you have to put down here are exorbitantly expensive. As a graduate in Korea, if you’ve got student loans, there ain’t no way you’re moving out of the house, cuz you ain’t got that kinda money for a key deposit just lying around. Jobs in Korea don’t pay that well, either, so…how are you gonna move out?

The second part we talked about, though, is about dependence on parents. Being a parent in Korea is a HUGE financial burden, since you have to support your kids for a very long time. And if you’re living with your parents the desire to be independent isn’t really there, since – well – why would you if you could live there for free, right?

That last point is one I’m sure a lot of people are going to argue against. I’m sure there are many people out there that’ll say “Malarky! I wanted to move out and so did my friends!” So be it. From who we’ve spoken with, and who our friends that we consulted with on the matter have spoken with, this idea of “why would I move out if I got it good here?” is common.

Ok, enough summary: Soo Zee had some interesting stats and facts that she sent us that we were afraid to mention on camera, because if you get one pronoun out of order then it becomes an entirely different stat. Copying and pasting is so much easier!

We mentioned the term “Kangaroo Jo.” At first, the term Kangaroo was applied to people that didn’t want to get jobs, and just stay students for as long as possible and be dependent on their parents. Now, though, there’s a new breed of Kangaroos. Now, they’re people who, despite the fact that they are highly educated, and have have jobs and earn money, they don’t want to be financially independent from their parents. You don’t have to pay rent if you’re living with your parents! Also, a bit of clarification: the Kangaroo term isn’t really something you call someone, like you’d call someone a Freeloader. You Freeloader! You Kangaroo! It’s not like that. It’s more like a classification of people, like Millennials or something like that.

Some interesting stats Soo Zee sent us: 60% of University graduates in their 20s are ‘Kangaroos,’ while 38.7% of those have a full time job, and 32.9% of them have part time work, according to this site here. Also, interestingly, over the past decade or so there’s been a 91% increase of people in their 30s and 40s living with their parents, from this site

Ok, I’ll leave it at that. I don’t want this to get too proper or researchy, though I’m sure that’s a good thing – that’s just not what we do here that much at EYK. We’d like to get back to fart jokes, if possible :D

Let us know what the situation’s like where you’re from. I know for us the contrast in family dynamics between Korean families and our families was very surprising. What’s it like where you’re from? More Korean? More Western? Or something different? We’d love to read your thoughts on the matter. I’ve got my money on Sweden having things all figured out, for some reason. Must be all that cheap furniture!

Also, if you found this topic interesting, and like these TL;DRs of ours, make sure you click on this pretty button below right here so you can subscribe for more TL;DRs. It’s the financially responsible thing to do!

  1. I grew up in the south (Texas) so everything is very family oriented. It’s very normal to move back in after college so you can save a bit of money to get your own place but you do pay a little for rent or food. The stigma though is you do not use your parents money, and you need to become independent rather quickly. If you’re at home when you’re 25+ (if you’re done with school) then you seem like a freeloader (at least to my own experiences with myself and friends). I do have to say though when your parents get older they normally move in with you, and you take care and support them. We are taught to respect and take care of our elders. I can’t imagine living with my parents long after college, I’d be ashamed.

  2. To add to what my other fellow Mexican-Americans are saying, you are expected to help your parents even if you move out. It’s looked down upon, if you have a really good job, and aren’t helping your parents financially at least a little bit. So if you are still living at home, even if you don’t work, you have to contribute to the household i.e. cooking, cleaning, etc specially if you are a woman.

  3. http://theweek.com/article/index/248332/how-long-is-it-okay-to-live-with-your-parents-after-college#axzz33MqMTRAu

    Check this out. It takes a good look at the statistics of the issue and gives an over all look at the stigma.

  4. I with I had 10 grand lying around.

  5. My mom is pretty much kicking me out once I get into a university. We are originally from the Philippines, but we live in the US now. She wants me to get a job once I’m old enough for the requirements of places here, not so that I can pay rent, but so that I know what it’s like to have a job and earn money, etc. But she said once I turn 18, or once I go to college, I shouldn’t live with her because to her, it makes me seem like I’m still trying to be a kid by living with my parents. I think once I have a job, she wants and expects everything to be backwards — she wants me to be the one buying her things (like jewelry, bags, clothes, etc.)

  6. As a Korean, I’m curious about the fact that Korea is very family oriented in general. You showed the drama ‘Mr. Wang’s family’ as an example, but I wonder real Koreans are living with their parents. Actually, we are not. Koreans usually become independent when they’ve got a job or married. According to each family, it can be faster or later. In the traditional society, three generations were together in the same house. However, nowadays most families are in the form of nuclear family. I think the drama you have mentioned just had a concept of extended family to make the story much variously. And most of Korean dramas do like this way as a same reason. So I understand why forigners misunderstand. But I hope you don’t believe as it is what dramas show to you. Plus, there are some strong points of extended family also. We learned wisdom, courtesy and etiquette from grand parents in the traditional society. Also it made family relationship more stronger. And in these days, though we live apart, we also have time to communicate with big family usually in national holiday such as Seol-nal, and Chu-seok. We just have strong family relationship, and learn how to respect other in our own family culture. Consequently, I would like to say that we are not that family oriented as you saw in a certain drama, and are independent enough.

  7. DesOkun

    I am currently about to turn 37. I live in TX, US. My parents got
    divorced when I was 12 and my mom became disabled a copule years later,
    just after we moved from CA to TX. My brother and I had to care for
    everything with very little money from our mom’s disability, so my
    brother started working in high school. My mom told me to wait a bit
    and then I started when I was in my second year of college. Times were
    really tough for many years. Eventually my brother and I got full time
    government jobs and co-signed on a manufactured home, so we took our mom
    off of everything. I guess it was a good thing we did start supporting
    ourselves full-time since our mom passed away at age 51 when I was 25
    and my brother was 24. My brother had just had a kid (not married, but
    she lives with us also). So it was a good thing we had already started
    being independent and learned to care for a home when we did; otherwise,
    when our mom died, we would have had nothing and nowhere to start.

    Its been about 11 1/2 years since my mom died and both my brother and I
    still keep up the home together. We have our ups/downs, etc. and my
    co-workers think I should “divorce” my brother, but we have always
    needed to depend on each other and have been able to do so.
    Technically, even though we both have full-time government jobs, neither
    of us could afford to live on our own and we even live in a cheaper
    city, state than our family who still live in CA, which is VERY

    So although we technically still live at home, we are
    self-supporting and co-supporting. In fact, my brother just let me
    borrow about $5k (from my nephew, but he knows I’m good for it since he
    knows where I live; next room over LOL) for another car since mine
    died. We’ve carpooled alot lately since his car is having trouble also.

    I have a great deal more debt than my brother, including those nasty
    student loans for degrees I don’t even use >:-o, but I have much
    better credit, which is why I had to co-sign and why my brother does not
    harass me since he pays a bit more each month than I do. He does have a
    slightly better paying job than me, but he has his son and the mother
    living here (she doesn’t work; only gets a little SSI), which is another
    story altogether.

    Anyway, our situation is a bit of a mix of
    both sides since we are independent and pay for everything ourselves
    together, but technically still would be living at home ir our mom was
    still alive.

  8. A topic that I can relate too. I’m 17 and currently living in Germany with my family(we moved here)and many people my age that I have met here are already moving out, because of various reasons, for example because they are arguing with their parent too much. I can’t imagine being all grown up and totally independant. I depend on my parents pretty much, sure it’s stupid and I feel like a burden, but even my parents can’t imagine me moving out, especially because we all moved to Germany together, they are the only people I have here in this place. I start to feel like a fool.

  9. So what do you guyes think about Chad Future and the whole idea of White people in KPOP,i know you guyes are mad homies (yo!) with BuskerBuskerBrad,did he get any hate for the fact of him being white and not asian?Plus,do you think that Chad has any actuall chance of being big in Korea or..well anywhere?

  10. in veitnamese culture if the family has a son then the son and the son’s wife will live at the home forever, the daughter on the other hand stays with her husbands family and won’t see her family again for a long time.

    • That’s so weird. I’m Viet (living in US now) and it’s the complete opposite in my family back in Vietnam. I have 4 uncles-in-law living with my aunts and grandma in the family house. So in my family, it’s the guy that leaves their family to go live with the bride’s family. I also have some uncles/aunts that moved into their own place, but no aunts that left to go live with their husband. My old neighborhood in Vietnam, some of my married male neighbors are living with their wife’s family and some couples there bought the place themselves. I rarely know any Vietnamese women that moved in with the husband’s family. I don’t know, is it just different parts of Vietnam? I haven’t lived there in a while, so I don’t know how it is now with that old neighborhood of mine and new couples?

  11. Hi, in Czechia we are somewhere in the middle. There is a strongly family-oriented culture, mostly because many years the estate market was centrally directed and it was not easy to get a flat accordings to your wishes. So the families stuck together (which was accented by the political situation) and built a more-generation family houses, where the families were fighting together and loving or hating each other the best they could. And the niveau of elderly people care was very low, and a for a good family it was a shame to send their granny to such an insititution. But there was a working duty for everyone as well, so once you got out of schools, you was supposed to work, to share the expenses as much as you could, and possibly marry very soon (around 18) and start own family – and live near the parents or in the same house. But because starting family is very expensive, the parents supported the children still after that.

    In the last 25 years, things has changed very much, but still if you live with your parents as an adult, you can be considered as OK, as long as you work for the family and share the costs. Or you can move out as soon as you have schools finished and work regularly. I think as well as the Mexican girl who wrote her comment, it is much easier to move out and live my own life, but even so I feel the duty to the family, I feel the urge to visit very often (every 2 weeks at the very least), bring small gifts and help with the chores as much as I can. Because this is what a good daughter/son does, as was the unwritten rule of our childhood.

    Of course there is a group of working people living at home and never bringing any money back, or very little. It is called “Mama hotel” and the people, mostly men, are considered as lazy and without principles (even if they work very hard at their jobs). Mostly men, because the girls are at least supposed to do some chores as a repay.
    So there is no stigma to live with parents, but there are rules for it.

  12. Hello guise !
    I’ve watched the episode and I liked it a lot .. I learned so much from it ^^ Thank you guise you’re the best!
    I’d like to share with you and all the nasties some facts about the country I live in. Hope you fine these facts useful ^^
    I’m from Egypt so I’m going to talk about what happens in Egypt which is nearly the same as in the Middle East ..
    It’s so different here than in North America but a bit similar to the situatuon in South Korea ..
    Here, it depends on whether you’re a man or a woman..
    Men have to study very well and to join top colleges in order to get a good job amd be able to help their families .. but they live with their families till their marriage .. Families always help .. they buy the apartment, the Shabka ” the gold jewelry given to the bride”, the Mahr, “a sum of money given to the bride as a gift which is obligatory”, and also the furniture ..
    For women, they don’t have to do anything other than studying and helping at home .. sometimes they have the right to go out to work and make their own money but not all the parents allow that .. they live with their parents until their marriage .. The woman’s family always buys her the Gehaz, which is every thing related to her new kitchen, clothes, and appliances.
    But women can never move out of their parent’s houses before marriage ..
    Men can do that if they have to live in the capital away from their parents who live in other provinces.
    When men become at the right age for marriage, their moms start looking for wives .. and even way before that. Women have to get married before the age of 28 or higher because they will be looked down upon and named spinsters which isn’t cute at all here or anywhere ..
    Men have to support the family .. women have to take care of the house and the kids ..
    Also, you have to get your parent’s approval of whoever you’re going to marry if you choose not to marry the way mentioned above .. and you won’t be able to get married to that person unless you get your parets permission, or you will be defying your parents’ will . Thus, they will be mad at you and you will be cursed for a lifetime :D .. *Never underestimate that :D*
    Sometimes when the man is very poor and can’t afford to buy an apartment, he lives with his wife in his parents’ apartment..
    Also, sometimes the man’s father buys a land and builds a block in which all his sons live in .. Everyone takes an apartment and they all get together on Fridays and on feasts in the main appartent which belongs to the the man’s father. So this stigma that you guys talked about doesn’t exist here, as they have to live with their parents ..
    But fortunately, this concept is changing because of the new generation who doesn’t believe in these unreasonable traditions such as not allowing women to go to work and so on ^^

  13. The trend in the UK and USA now is for young people to delay moving out, and even to move back in. House prices are ridiculous and jobs are hard to come by.

  14. I’m sure that there have already been a lot of comments about this topic regarding American culture, but I guess I’ll add my two cents. Most people who live with their parents even immediately after graduating high school are pressured into moving out. I personally have a lot of friends who insist on moving as far away from home as possible. The issue with this is the cost of college and living expenses. It’s pretty much impossible for a student to work and earn the money to pay for college since costs for tuition alone are thousands of dollars per year and the cost of a living space can be burdensome as well. Most parents or family members DO pay for college, or assist with paying. Living at home is not often seen as a cost-effective way to live, but as being lazy or leeching from parents. However, it is being somewhat more accepted as time has passed. For example, my dad moved out of his house and went to college when he was 17, but my older brother lived at home until he was 19 (he goes to a community college).

  15. I’ve read most of the comments and I get the general feeling that: for hispanic (plus Brazil – where I’m from), middle east, eastern asia, south europe, general asia, is common to stay with your parents until you get married – especially girls. So… can I say that for most of the world’s population is more common that family-oriented perspective?
    I’m 22, brazilian, and there is just a little pressure in my house for me to move out, since I get my bachelor’s degree. First I have to get a full time job, and MAYBE get enough to buy a little tiny apartment – in my city is just too much expensive. But the pressure to find someone and get married is a huge thing, I think.

  16. My mother worked in the banking industry right up until the 2007-2008 global financial crisis; around the same time, my father was diagnosed with cancer. Because of his pre-existing health problems (i.e. not enough health insurance to cover his bills), my tuition money had to be used to keep my parents from being (financially) wiped out. I now take classes online and work part-time to cover my expenses while our entire family tries to stabilize our respective situations…

    Wait! I have a quick TL;DR question too! What are the fonts you guise use? The cute handwriting font that also has Korean characters, and the adorable font you used in your older videos (the exclamation point is a heart). I’d love to get them for myself (for non-commercial use, of course). Thanks for being upbeat and funny, and double thanks for no-smell-o vision during the last pre-recorded live chat. Simon, stop farting on air; it’s awkward…

  17. My parents said once I get married I have to gtfo lol so I can have my own family without their, or my spouse’s parents’ interference. From what I see in my family (and my friends’ too kind of), when the parents are old, one of the children will live with the parents to take care of their elderly parents, while other children will visit once in a while or as often as they could depending on how it is, but to not take care of your ageing parents are highly frowned upon in Indonesia (or at least with my upbringing).

    And I also get that itch just watching your video because…………………. you’re an adult with a full-time job :O I understand that they can’t move out because of the house price but to not contribute to household expenses and instead mooch off your parents is a super foreign concept to me.

  18. simon and martina, could you make a video about injuries in kpop idols? Many of them work despite having injuries. Why? Is this because of the company or themselves being careless?

  19. I’m from Uruguay and it’s ok for you to live with your parents and for them to pay for your stuff. For a while. For example, after finishing highschool your parents rent an apartment so that you can go to university, pay for bills,transport, food, etc, once you are done with uni, you move back with your parents, and get a job and then, after a while you get a place. It can be a house or an apartment, but it tends to be something you BUY. Some people get a job while studying and rent a place, others have been saving up money since they where 15 and get married and buy a place. It depends a lot on whether you can afford to not help your parents or not. There is no stigma about living with your parents up until you are like 30ish, but if you have a job, its not that you are expected to help, but you feel the obligation to. But one thing that is different (and that i find curious) is that people BUY places, a house, an apartment, a lot they can build a house on, I suppose it’s more permanent and gives them a sense of security.

  20. Hi Simon & Martina, i’m almost graduating from high school in Australia to prepare for university, and the degree I’ve chosen includes 1 year of studying abroad, and i have decided to choose Korea. Specifically, is it possible for you guys to tell me about the the process of boarding houses or accommodation? And also the what kind of part time jobs are possible for students and the rates of pay and hours? Thank you! :)

  21. Hey ^^
    Not sure if I’m doing it right, question for S&M:
    What do you guys think about sassing fan?
    I do know that they follow idols around and being a pain in the butt, but is there other things that they do to idols that international fans might not know of?
    And what’s the Korean law on them and how does the Korean society react to them?

  22. Hey guys, I am from California and feel your pain concerning Mexican food. I live in Sinchon (the one near Hongdae) and have found a legit Mexican restaurant just off Yonghui-ro. The side street its on is Donggyo-ro 46 gil. Its name is B’Mucho and the owner is a young Mexican guy from D.F.

  23. Hi Simon and Martina :)
    I am Iranian, and I wanted to say that we have the same culture as Korean people . Our parents will support us as much as they can too, like the same thing that you guys said about the wedding money and furnitures and etc. But the only different is that in our culture moving out of our parents house ” before ” wedding is weird :D
    I don’t know ” anyone ” who lived on their own or lived with their Girl/Boy friend !!!
    Thank you, you guys are Awesome :)

  24. Here in Brazil it’s pretty much the same, you stay with your parents until you get married or save enough money to pay rent (wich need a co-signer, usually your dad). But most of it depends on social status. Rich people buy apartments for their kids when they get married, poor people squeezed themselves in whatever place their parents home have. Middle class strugle,and strugle, and postpone their marriage, until they get a governemnt financial house loan (wich are very hard to get and not cheap).
    However our culture dictates that you should help around with expenses when you are living with your parents, like pay a electricity bill, or food, stuff like that. Your parents most of the time won’t ask you for that, but there’s a moral sense that tells you to do it. And the older the parents mor you feel compelled to pay.
    But since we are all human beings, we also have a lot of freeloaders, who are badmouthed behind their back and in their faces, but since they are shameless freeloaders, they don’t care (i have family members like that

  25. Wishy

    A lot of Asian cultures have a strong family tie. The way I’m being raised, though, is more like: “We support you now, you support us later!” instead of a “Aww, my liddle widdle child, I’ll take care of you forever.”

  26. Hi, I am from Italy and the situation there, I have to say unfortunately, is pretty much like in Korea but for different reasons. Because of the economic crisis it is really difficult to find jobs (unemployement rate is skyrocketing) and thus move out of your parents house. Part-time jobs are hard to find especially in small towns and long-term contracts have almost disappeared.
    Watching your video, I found myself somehow disagreeing with some of the things you said. It must be true that there are some girls or boys wasting their money, but , for what I know, the situation in Korea is not really easy for young generations. They are raised with the pressure of meeting impossible standard of perfection to face others: basically parents expect a lot from their kids, academic excellence in the first place, followed by a good place in a big company (where is really hard to obtain a job) but most of all, they want to be taken care of by their kids when they get older. Since housing is so expensive, getting a steady job is more and more difficult (it can take up years to finally get into a good company) and there are no hospices or home institutions for the elders, it is expected of kids to take care of everything when their parents get old.
    Married couples, for example, move usually in with one of the two families (usually the family of the groom, but it can vary) so that the daughter-in-law can take care of her in-laws. If this young couple then decides to have kids, besides the care of the elders and the household, the daughter-in-law does also have full responsibility for raising the child, as the husband is always out for work. The fact is that in South Korea there is no help from the government for what concerns childcare or hospices, and if someone wants to resort to them or to kindergardens, they are extremely expensive (like half of the monthly wages).
    If the grandparents of this imaginary child are still in good health and want to take care of him/her so that their daughter in-law can work, then, they become like baby-sitters (who have a very dreadful image in South Korea, by the way) but even in this case scenario there is still a lot of pressure on the young couple as the generation gap is huge and tension can build up, especially when living under a small roof.

    I took the example of the young married couple, because marriage is an essential part of life for South Koreans. Youngsters in their twenties cannot stay forever that age, and especially women are expected to get married (and have babies) before a certain age or they are looked down upon. The citizen is part of a community and the community must stay together (families living together) and must grow (marriages and children). If the citizen does not behave this way he cannot be considered part of this community and loses his identity.
    Actually, I think it does not make a lot of sense to compare the North American individualistic and freedom-based lifestyle with the collective shame-based South Korean one, because those 3 or 4 years of college will be the only period of ‘relative freedom’ and ‘relative carefreeness’ for young people in South Korea. So if they have some money and they can finally spend it on what they want after the hell of school from 7 to midnight for 15 years, and before the hell of having to take care of everybody in their family, let them live. Soon in 2050 there will be so many old people in South Korea and Japan that it will be required of every adult to take care of them, pretty tough, right?

  27. Emma Turner

    From my experience, the UK is more like the attitudes you guys are familiar with in Canada. People want to move out asap – however, it’s getting harder and harder to moe out and buy your own place, especially if you’re on your own, so most people rent. I’m the only single person I know with a mortgage, and I could only do that because I saved up from 16 until 26 and the government have recently set up a ‘help to buy’ scheme for peeps like me (atm they own 20% of my house, I own the other 80% – so am only paying for 80% of the price of my house). Also my parents and grandparents helped! So most young people have to rent if they want to move out. Monthly payments are similar to a mortgage but renting has a much, much smaller deposit!

    The UK also has a lot of social housing, which is where people earning below a certain amount can live (renting) in a government-owned house for less than you’d pay on the private market. Trouble is, there aren’t enough of these houses around and there’s a waiting list that can be 9 or 10 years long!

    Anyway, I think my point was that in the UK, people WANT to move out but sometimes it can be really hard, so in a lot of cases there are people well in their 20s and beyond who still with their parents. I have two friends for example, both 27, both living at home despite not wanting to simply because they can’t afford to move out. Another friend, also 27, is just about to move out but she’s worked out that she won’t have much money left at the end of every month after bills have been paid and food bought – but she thinks its worth the sacrifice!

  28. Hi guise! Loved the post, i’d never thought that thing are that way in Korea. Here in Brazil there’s a lot of similar things like live with your parents during and after college since it’s very expensive to rent or buy a place, so we usually go to college years and a couple years after graduation living there. I’m turning 18 and going to college in the end of the year, and I don’t plan moving out anytime soon. :D
    But you start helping financially when you get a job, and people usually move out when they get married since you got your spouse money to help with the mortgage.
    Of course that there’s situatins where you move to another state to go to college (since Brazil it’s a huge country), so your parents pay your rent and food and everything because part time jobs don’t pay that well and sometimes you don’t get any money, just school credits. Federal schools are the best options, because you have the best education and don’t have to pay for it, so it’s okay for your parents to pay for your things.
    Love you guise, kisses from Brazil!!

  29. well in Costa Rica the reality is very similar to South Korea in this matter. Usually Latinamericans are very family orientated and it is not weird to be well in your 20′s or 30′s and still live with your parents. When I was little I grow up watching a bunch of american programs in which they emphasized that at the moment I would be 18, I had to move out and have a job. I used to tell my mom that that was the right thing to do and she gave me the stink eye and a whole brief on why that was stupid and totally cold hearted, with the main reason that she comes from a very large poor tipical latino family from the 70′s and that family is were the heart is. This is one of the reason we have situations on why even if you have a job, unless you are getting married your parents won’t let you move out.
    Also there’s the economic issue. The reality is that even though I’m a university graduate, finding a job is extremely difficult because every single carrer is over saturated; you go to college and studied what you wanted but they never told you that because of the current economic structure of the country is outdated, there’s simply not enough money to pay all the professionals out there: there’s more doctors and lawyers working at call centers or working as taxi drivers than professionals actually doing what they studied for. Also Costa Rica is the most expensive country in Central America, so if that tells you anything about daily expenses and mortgage well it’s really difficult for one person and even worst on students.

    So for me at my age is not possible to move out of my parents house because of money (my main and only reason to be honest) and also because I don’t have a partner to marry to. To give you a more precise example my best friend only move out of her parents house when she got married, even though she had an stable job for 2 years already but when she had her baby she move to a rental house that was closer to her parents house because of the fact that they could help her out with the upbringing of the baby wthich doesn’t translates to monetary help but for her is a one burden less. There are other factors like education which is linked to poverty and to teenage pregnancy but this comment is long enough as it is. Hope I contributed a little bit :D

  30. I live in Canberra (the captial city of Australia) and here the rent is very expensive. Easily $350 – $500 a week for somewhere mid range at best. Because of this, I don’t know a single student who manages to live out of home and there is still a massive stigma if you still live at home into your 20′s. We also have deposits that are usually 2 months worth of rent

  31. I am from Singapore and currently, the pressure to move out isn’t as strong as before because of the cost of living and the property prices in Singapore. And Singapore is too small for you feel that far away from your parents which makes it a bit less useful to stay away from them.

    I am currently in university and my campus is situated at the whole other extreme end of Singapore, so the students who live furthest away from school, who take more than an hour to travel to campus, usually live in dormitories. We have dormitories on the campus which costs about a little over a thousand dollars for 1 semester which is about 5-6 months. For freshmen, there are no requirements to live on campus but after that, undergraduates have to accumulate points to be able to stay in their dormitories; international students get straight 9 points whereas students living in the country are given points based on where they stay, if they stay at the complete opposite end of Singapore, they might get 8(?) points. It doesn’t stop at just that, 8 or 9 points is not enough for you to stay in the hall, you have to actively engage in school or hall(they call dormitories hall) activities to earn enough. While their parents pay for their dormitories, students who wants to live in dormitories also have to do their part by being active in school. I think that is a win-win situation for both parents and students because both have to contribute to allow the student to stay on campus. I don’t stay on campus because I live pretty near.

    As for students working, a considerable amount of students do juggle work and studies, one example is me, but there are some who don’t work while they study, it doesn’t really matter to the parents usually. For students living in campus, there are some on scholarship so they have their allowances, others work when there are some opportunities in the campus itself whereas I work outside. I chose to work because I am doing a course(design) that requires some money, I feel very bad to put all the financial pressure on my parents on my school spendings. My parents still give me the same monthly allowances I got when I was not working in the first semester. So me working is just to help me in my course and save up to travel and further my studies in the future. One good thing I have to mention about my university is they have the work scheme, where students who apply that have some rules as to how many hours they work per week so they can better balance their studies. I am not part of it(meaning I work over the quota of hours) but I think I am doing fine.

    As for school fees, for certain reasons, my school fees are free. Others take bank loans, subsidies and some pay using their parents’ Central Provident Fund(CPF – some sort of government savings account for you to buy houses, pay for medical fees, etc). It is extremely easy to use their parents’ CPF but the catch is – the person who uses the CPF would have to pay back to their parents’ CPF when they start working. So it is not all rosy and easy, once the student graduates he or she has to work because they have to pay back.

    Once we start working, most of us would probably give money to our parents, that is the societal norm. To us, it is filial piety, we respect+love our parents and giving them money is an achievement to us. Usually the money parents get would go to household spendings if both parents are no longer working, or just to their savings. I have had a serious talk about this with my parents and they would most probably save it, not really for them, but for me, if I want to get married or study further. But I am entirely fine if they want to use the money for themselves, they are my parents and I feel indebted to them.

    Touching on marriage, getting married is expensive! I think there is some hidden pressure to make your wedding look grand and luxurious etc, people spend over $10k for a wedding day! And in my culture, I am Malay, there are dowries to be paid by the groom to the bride’s family. It is also expensive, during the 90s, the ‘market rate’ was $2-6k, but now, it is about $8k onwards, no limits, some people go over $15k. How the dowry money is set is based on no criteria, just whatever the bride’s family wants. But sometimes it is associated with the level of education of the bride because parents who have high educated brides would think – I paid so much for daughter to study, I won’t let her go at a little amount of dowry. For me, I have a long long time before I think about marriage because I want to study, so let’s see the ‘market rate’ in 10 years’ time.

    I briefly touched on the topic of property prices in Singapore in my first paragraph, property prices are sky high. Let me tell you how much it has rocketed, my house was a quarter of a million dollars 10 years ago, now it is worth more than half a million. Due to the tight supply of houses in Singapore, there are requirements for someone to buy a house, 1) get married – to encourage marriage, 2) if you are single, wait until you are 35, but this, you would also have to have some financial stability. Because of the tight supply of houses, the government body in charge of housing introduced a new type of apartment called the 3-gen flat, in which there are 3 bathrooms, 4 bedrooms, a living room etc to fit in 3 generations, meaning grandparents, parents and children(who might already be married). This 3-gen flat is different from the usual flats since there usually only 2-3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. In Singapore, we are most likely not trying to freeload on our parents’ flats but more of, we don’t really have the financial means to move out, even if we have, we have to order an apartment which takes a few years to ready for us. We don’t freeload either, because children are sort of expected to give their parents money to lift their financial burdens.

    In a nutshell, most single Singaporeans live with their parents for a long time but they don’t freeload, whereas those who get married usually move out. But sometimes, when the married move out, their parents also follow to live with them(which makes it a bit redundant to move out?).

  32. I think in Europe it’s a bit of both. My parents are from Russia, and after they married they moved out of their respective parent’s apartments and in with my mother’s parents. There you wait and wait to sell the apartment you lived in, I think for key money or a long term payment, but those who can afford it have a summer home in the country and an apartment, also another apartment they rent out, but need to sell. I felt really happy to live with my grandparents and parents in their summer home, if only for a short time, I feel like each home should have at least one grandma or grandpa, they take care of the children when you’re away, whenever I watched the Brady Bunch I thought the housekeeper was their Grandma! Family is pretty important there, living with neighbors who are really really close to you, come over and eat with and chat with for hours and hours, is a regular part of life, even if you live in a dinky apartment you get to know your neighbors, there are housewarming gifts, etc. But I do know a lot of people who live out on their own and move in with their girlfriends/boyfriends/fiance like in America, it’s getting more Americanized there and there’s more independence among the youth. It’s normal there to stay with your parents (usually in an apartment in the city) until you get that one good job or when you get married. Now that I live in America I miss my relatives. Here I still live with my parents, I really don’t want to live alone, because it’s such a burden. I would have to work, study, cook, clean, and manage not to sleep to get it all done. Plus, it can be really lonely, how can you live alone, if you have no one to hug when you come home, no one to say “I’m home!” to? A cat is nice, but if you have chronic health problems (I sleep way too much and can’t help it, generally weak, etc. etc.), it’s a bit impossible because you’ll be taking care of the pet as well as yourself. There’s that phenomenon here in the US, where independent kids move out for college, then come back to live with their parents! The job market is bad, but less and less people are getting married, or have a reliable job to actually afford rent, even in a cheap situation, because companies are reducing full time jobs to part time and just don’t want to pay anyone a proper wage. Plus my generation is extremely lazy, frankly, it’s way more affordable to live with your parents because you can afford internet that way. I’m still not sure if I will move out, or move at all. I don’t know what will happen after college or grad school. Will I take my guinea pig or let her stay with my Mom? She could get really lonely, too. XD

  33. thanks to military service, i was moved out on my own allowance when i turned 18 (>.<)

  34. Awesome video (though for some reason it would only load in 240p for me :( )
    I’m from Minnesota and I was raised on a typical North American style of independence type… yeah. My dad left the house when he was like 17 almost (he was kicked out I think) and my mom left at like 18 or 19 too and they were married by the time they were 22/20 respectively (my mom couldn’t even drink legally at her wedding, lawl)
    My dad thinks we should be out, living on our own, supporting ourselves, etcetc. But my mom is okay if, for whatever reason, we need help. At 27 I moved back home with my parents for 3 1/2 (almost 4) months until I came to Korea. Before that I would sleep over at my parents house frequently. As my siblings and I are all older (27, 28, and 31) with NO kids I feel like my mom has some ‘empty nest’ hardcore going on. She is always willing to help us out whenever we are in a tight spot.
    My brother has moved back home more frequently than any of us three kids. I know I would always have a home with my parents if something happened.
    I, however, am very independent and moved out when I was 21 (dorm living for two years before that). My rent was even cheaper then Simons (unless that 500 was for the whole apartment… if it was his half, then yes. Much cheaper. My apartment was 585 completely. So my half was 242.50?) and now I live by myself and I don’t ever want a roommate again.

    Anyway. That’s the way it is with me. >> Independent but we always have a home and my parents help us out money wise a lot. More then they probably should. lol

  35. Trißten Kodee Johnson

    This is interesting to me. I understand the dynamic (I have even seen it first hand), but I guess it’s a little hard for me to wrap my head around. In the US I have known SEVERAL people whose parents threw them out, some even before the age of 18. SO this seems like a ‘security.’ I was out of the house at 16, not 100% by choice, so I kind of envy them that security.

  36. In my culture (I’m from the sub-continent), leaving your parents and living by yourself used to be almost unheard of. There is no culture of letting your parents fend for themselves once they grow elderly or at worst putting them in a nursing home.

    The way it generally works is the daughters in a family move in with their inlaws and sons stay with their parents after marriage. You end up with a bunch of generations in each case living under the same roof.

    I wasn’t raised in my home country, so we’ve grown up like everyone else thus far. But now that we are getting older, I’ve noticed to idea of “moving out” is becoming a really popular option for a lot of my classmates and friends. For me it would be out of the question at the moment, because it isn’t the thing to do in our culture. In our culture, parents take on a huge responsibility to take care of their children until they are settled in life, but in return the kids also have to take care of their parents till the end.

    The idea of independence is pretty uncommon I would think. There might be a sliver of it in some people’s uni years (dorm/hostel life) but there’s definitely not a total detachment at any point.

    We’re the exception, because we live overseas in a Western country with no relatives nearby whatsoever. And I do think this culture is slowly changing but I wonder how that will affect the ageing population as a whole. Respect towards your elders is a huge thing in my culture and I wonder how that is going to change.

  37. I’ve been living out of home for at least 10yrs, but the reason I left home wasn’t because I was told to go. My parents sold the house we called our home, so they could move to the country!!
    I live in Melbourne, Aus, and both of my parent were country kids. They moved to the big city when they were in their late teens and met in the big smoke.
    Fast forward, they got jobs, had one child (little old me), bought a house and lived the dream. During this time they taught me the importance of earning your own living and being responsible. But apparently the call of the wild was too much for my parents. Just as my last year of high school started, they let me know they wanted out, and bought a country property. So for my final year of high school I knew that once I finished, my parents were leaving home. Talk about having to grow up and figure out what it was all about!!! Towards the end of the year an auction was held, and the place I had grown up in, was sold to a bunch
    of nuns. I now had no home to call my own anymore
    From that point I spent some time at their property, and time in the city with friends, until I managed to rent a place with a flatmate from another state. The big thing was getting bond together (a form of Key money, but only an extra month of the rent money) which wasn’t too bad, as we both had shitty menial jobs. Ho boy, did my parents have to help out in some cases, but never did they just expect me to use them as a source of income. I really think it all comes comes down to your upbringing, as well as your own expectations as to what the world owes you.
    On the flip side, I am now married and live with my husband in a small but convenient apartment near the edge of the city, but we just haven’t been able to save to get our own place. Our rent, bills & expenses just trump being able to make any meaningful savings (plus the fact my husband has decided to go to uni means less money (but seriously I am so proud of him for following his dream, I’m happy to live in a kick-ass apartment that is just within our mean) but is still able to survive with no savings)
    What this means is that I don’t have the monetary support to buy a house right now, but I have a better chance to rent one that Sth Korea does.
    Wow, I apologise for the waffle, but I needed to let you know what my experience was.
    That is the best thing about this comment section, I feel safe enough to offload ^_^

  38. Hi guys ;) Greetings from Lithuania! The situation here is a bit of both (North America and Korea). We usually live with our parents until our education is over,which is graduating university, because parents pay for everything and we don’t have the money to move out. But a lot of people leave their parents house after high school, cause they go to study in other cities and have no choice but to rent an apartment or live in university accommodation,for which,again,parents pay and after that it sort of naturally follows that you start to live on your own. Since we have a bit of independent streak, a lot of people try to find part-time jobs to have money of their own, but it’s not a crime if your parents still support you (pay the rent) until you finish your studies and find a stable job. And if you’re family is poor, we tend to stay together to help financially. I think that a lot depends on family’s financial situation, so if it’s cheaper to live with your parents, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, but what often happens is that if you have a job, you pay the rent to your parents. On the other hand, we want to have financial and living independence as well, cause it brings freedom and parents can’t really control you, what is not unusual. As I said, it depends on financial situation you’re in.

  39. I think the other thing is that, and may have been mentioned below, is that once you enter high school in south korea a lot of my friends have told me there is a strong pressure to be in a relationship, that only grows with going to university (many have told me you shouldnt really be single), and then even more in the workforce, all towards getting married. With that there is a stigma about living with a partner before marriage (various Korean folks have told me it is just highly uncommon and unusual, and my personal observation is probably more closeted LGBTQ relationships do this than hetero ones), and there used to be more of a moral stigma to moving out before marriage, but not really anymore. So, because of all this it was mostly families/married couples getting apartments, single people just didnt really do this in the 80′s and 90′s (if they did they were like, small one bedroomish closets a friends father told me) and so deposits went higher and higher since those folks had more money to give, until now where it just reinforces that married couples/families only can really afford to move. Also this is about Seoul, I heard other cities, apparently regardless of size, can be similar are vastly different (outside Seoul, when comparing, a lot of college kids live in apartments because the schools dont have enough dorms and they arent from there, generally from seoul or busan)

  40. Well in Israel the things are a bit different, I mean in America some of the people move out even when they’re 18 to go to college but in Israel that cannot happen, since in the age of 18 (both boys and girls) have to go to the army for 2/3 years even when they’ll get out of it in the beginning of their 20′s they wouldn’t have the money to pay for the university, not talking about an apartment, especially in the big city’s. So some of people get a lot of help from their parents and get a “loan” (that you never actually pay back) and rent something with another students (or not students and just people who can’t afford to live alone) and some people just stay to live with their parents, it’s not uncommon to see people (mostly students) in their 20s and even in the beginning of their 30s living at their parents house.

  41. Hi all:) I’m from Calif. which has horrendously high real-estate prices so
    while traditionally you WERE expected to move out after college, now
    it’s more like Asia evidently where kids are staying home for a few
    years to save up “dinero” money-for a place. This is acceptable as long as you’re helping out. NO credit cards from parents though..u-m-m-m,
    I don’t think SO!!!! Also, state schools in CA. are subsidized so my
    parents didn’t have to take out extra loans or anything to help in in
    college. (NOTE: This does NOT apply to Berkley, UCLA or other extremely
    expensive schools..YIKES!!!!:) And parents are NOT expected to help buy a
    place after marriage. In Israel (where I live now) however, it’s
    totally opposite, kids stay with their parents like “forever” and the
    PARENTS are expected to help finance the house for the kids!!! Shocker
    to me:) That’s why they have “family villa compounds” here with separate
    apartments for the adult kids and their families! P.S. School (university) in Israel is quite cheap compared with the US generally but people here (mostly) do NOT make upper-Middle class US salaries (70k and above) They make more like 35k together:)

  42. im 11
    its all good
    ill live
    dun have to worry
    ill graduate high school at 17, and finish uni at 21.
    i think ill be staying at home until 21 at least.
    because you literally can not buy a house here
    or rent one
    the pricing is way too high-
    and in 10 years, its only going to go up.
    but then again, in 10 years, my parents will be 65 and retired.
    which means i will literally have no help.

    i am overthinking this
    why am i even thinking
    i should be doing my ag assignment-

  43. Haha in Singapore it is practically IMPOSSIBLE to move out because you can’t buy an apartment unless 1) You’re married (hence the joke of Singaporeans, instead of proposing with a ring, they propose to buy an apartment first. Because you always need to secure your future first XD.) 2) You’re above 35 (martial status not considered). Sad.

    Probably the only way to live with your friends (as students) is the dormitory but again, very little universities and colleges have dormitories.

  44. Kerdeen Rose

    Well in Caribbean, it doesn’t matter if you’re old, you can stay if you’re not married/ divorced but once you’re married you should move out as a courtesy to your parents.

  45. Can you guys please do a TL;DR on some of the best k-dramas you have watched and/or the most addictive ones? Also, what do Korean people watch in their spear time? Do they also watch k-dramas or do they watch… something else?

  46. Hi, i AM Ana And i`m from portugal , here living with parents is normal until the college, after that it`s kinda of annormal. But there are more differrent cases, like my older sister she is 22 And she moved out at 18 , for other city because of ter studies, but of course with help from my parents. And there are others who stay in parents house, because here in Portugal is getting harder And harder to get a job So people don`t have any ways to be independent…

    Bye bye hope to be helpfull

  47. Superengageradhästundernät

    Lol I thought furniture was expensive here in Sweden………………………..

  48. I’m very glad you talk about this topic because I have a very interesting perspective that I want to share from the place I grow up with – Hong Kong. As you may know Hong Kong is a tiny, tiny city (we checked it’s smaller than Manhattan Island itself) and so the demand for houses is high and the supply is low, i.e. house prices sky-rocket. This means that it is pretty much impossible for fresh grads to buy houses in Hong Kong; it is possible to rent but it will be nothing extravagant. Therefore it is, like korea, acceptable to live with your parents for a while. I think it may be true to say that unless you are a professional (doctor, lawyer namely, but not even accountant) that you may afford to get your own place right after you graduate.

    The stigma in HongKong/China, however, lies in the fact that you don’t ‘have your roots in the place you live’ if you don’t own a house. So instead of buying whole houses as a wedding gift, it is not uncommon to pay for the ‘first installment’ of your house, which is 30% of your mortgage under Hong Kong law.

    This is all very similar to Korea but I would like to flag up a phenomenon that is very frequently mentioned in the Hong Kong media which is the ‘after 80s’. This is the bracket of people who were born between 1980-1990. Due to policies like education reform and increase in speculation on houses, this bracket of youths find society very GRIM, as they almost feel impossible to be independent. These youths therefore, as you mentioned in the video, feel the lack of motivation to find their own jobs and drain their parents money. This is therefore a stigma in society that the subsequent younger brackets try to avoid.

    I can particularly related to your ‘itchiness’, Simon and Martina, as I am currently studying in the UK and have friends who have already moved out themselves without much fuss. I would, however, also want to raise the point that the family structure in Asia (China/Korea included) means that whilst the family may support the child/children to a certain point (excluding the extremes you mentioned that just leech), it is expected that the child would support the retirement life of the parents when the career has become stable. My father would send money back to my grandparents periodically and so would my mom. I’m not saying that Western culture does not allow this, but to take care and do things to merit your parents is definitely an attribute to be praised upon (stemmed from Confucius teachings).

    To add, lastly, is that although there is an oligopoly of developers in Hong Kong that cause the inflation of house prices, the government is trying very hard to prevent speculation by introducing stamp taxes for each trade made. This, perhaps, will keep the prices down, but still does not remove the ability of developers to keep a high initial price for housings. This is where Singapore differs from Hong Kong – public housing system is more well developed and fresh grads have no worries for this.

    I’m not sure whether you two have been to Hong Kong but if not please definitely pay us a visit!

  49. Marzia Matalone

    Ah, this is such an aching spot for Southern Europe people…I’m Italian and I’m 27…of course I’m still living with my parents, since even if you wanted to move out, Italian economic crisis is really serious right now…I graduated with honor four years ago, I got a scholarship every year while I was studing…but after my five years degree in “Public Communication”, even till now, i didn’t get a real job and I’m working as a journalist almost for free and doing an home tutoring part time job to help my parents even a little…Sadly enough, lot of Italians of the same age, are living in the same situation: it’s hard, really very hard to work without being paid as you should and being so dependent on your parents who paid for your studies, hoping you’ll get a job…truth to be said, anyway, here in South Italy, staying with your family even when you are an adult is not a strange thing…this is indeed a similarity I always noticed about korean culture…in our culture, the idea of family is one of the most basical and strong, and often you’ll find really big families living togheter in the same house or really near to each other…we care and help each other a lot, since the governament is not as efficient as in Nothern Europe and doesn’t offer you much (only some allowances for elderly and disabled people, not enough, however, to survive alone)…of course there are people who think differently (for example, in Nothern Italy, and in big cities in particular, there are stronger ideals about indipendence and economic autonomy, even for the youngers). It all depends on what kind of family you grow up in…

  50. Jenalyn Thompson

    In the U.S some parents (aka like mine-_-’) are hounding me to get a job… now i know that I need to get one but I do believe that its all an attempted to get rid of me and I’m only 18. Well on the other hand I do come in handy during tax season so I think they will let me stay a little longer. Just kidding, they love me too much to get rid of me. xD

  51. Cindy

    I really have nothing to say on the topic. I just like your cute shirt Martina. :)

  52. How would I put it…

    My parents were born in Mexico in the mid 50s, and moved to the States around the begining of the 80s after marriage. So I will speak from my point of view with my large family. We were raised to believe family is important, to look out for eachother. An aunt has her two oldest sons livimg with her (oldest is near his 50s) who can’t hold a steady job while the youngest (40s) is renting a house but still lives with my aunt. Cooking, laundry, and sleeping as well. On top of that, his son is also staying with them during weekdays AND other grand children as well. I can’t really say anything but since I’ve been told multiple times the story if the hardships faced, I just shrug my shoulders. Another aunt has her two boys living with her as well, oldest of 30 has moved out but returns because of the economical support he is in the house hold, the other of 25 simply works in temporary employment in construction. Another family member has bought the neighboring houses so her married children can live right next door. So thats five houses in total, one on each side, one behind, and one in front crossing the street with her house in the middle. No such thing as privacy I guess.

    Yes I understand the importance of being independent, but I can’t seem to fulfill them. I have taken multiple “experimental” drugs for my heart condition. You can imagine a student in the medical field searching for a job while under heavy side effects from medication. I had to stop my job search when my mother suffered appendicitis (she’s diabetic) so I’m thankful I knew enough to nurse her back to health. I have looked after other family members as well after they have had surgery done (diabetic as well). I find it difficult now to find a job, who would hire a 25 year old who never worked 7 years after graduating high school? So I did the only thinh I know how to do and returned to school.

    Its not uncommon for me to see children still living with their parents after high school. Paying for a car, insurance and school is expensive even if you work part time but they move out when they get married. My older sister married right after high school, she tried to attend college while working but was forced to drop out and decided to work full time. She isn’t happy with the idea of me being 24 and still living under my parents roof, but I’m not entirely free loading. I help around the house a lot more since my mother can’t do most of it by herself (and I’ve been keeping a close eye on her health), I baby sit for family and friends, help with cake orders, make jewelry accessories, I even have commission orders for tattoo designs. I may not be employed but I have means of getting some money to help for whatever I can, even if its just for paying my student loan and my cell phone. I try to find a way.

    Moving out after high school is seen as important, to become independent. It is harder to do so in this economy, you would need roomates or have a nice sum in your bank account. So more and more people are deciding to live with their parents, and I can’t blame them. I believe there is a difference between ‘living with’ parents and ‘free loading’. My parents let me use their debit card twice, and I stillddidn’t use it, it felt wrong. Now, there is an urgency for me to find a job since my father is going to retire in two years, I have no intdntion of moving in with my older sister who has made a new hobby of putting me down for “free loading” or to go with my parents back to their homeland.

    Ah, my apologies, where was I?

    Anyway, I am not one to judge those who still live under their parents roof, but if you have the means to be by yourself or to help with bills, why not do it? I was shocked about the miss spending her money on supporting her favorite group, but every parent has a different way of being. At least talk to the woman to convince her to help pay at least one utility bill, no? Also, I believe we know a few mothers aho want their children with them, holding on to the umbilical cord and not letting go. Then again, every society has different values as do families as well.

  53. In Indonesia, there aren’t any pressure to come out of the house. Usually we start to move out from house when we are married. Before that? Commonly people will live with their family. Some people need to rent a house because they work outside town but it is not like they move out because they are pressured to, it was more because it is convenient. Their family will urge them to comeback home when it’s holiday so, yeah…
    People here is like to save money so they can buy a house (not just renting it), so living with family is very very helping. Having a house is very expensive here… :(

  54. kawaii_candie

    Really really interesting TL;DR guise!!

    I’m from Montreal so I totally understand all of your reactions to these things, haha… In Japan, i don’t think it’s as bad as you guys have it because, although it is very expensive to move out, the deposits don’t range into the 10,000′s… like, when I moved to my tiny appartment in Tokyo, it cost me about 3,500$ (i won’t be seeing that money again though, but that’s another story…) and my friend who lives in an apartment twice my size paid about 4,500$. so it seems a bit more doable. but yeah, most people tend to live with their folks for really long and there’s no bad stigma associated to it.

    also, as far as i know, it’s not “on” the parents to pay for weddings and houses for their kids and all that. (some families do it, but it’s not like a requirement? i could be wrong, but one of my friends just got married and though the parents helped, the fees were trust onto the married couple…) however, the children are expected to take care of the parents in their old age, which is often why you’ll see married people living with their parents.

    oh and here, they call the people who refuse to leave home “parasite singles”. meaning single people in their 30′s or older who have jobs and are mooching off their parents and spending all their money on leisurely things, and there is a kinda bad stigma associated to them.

  55. I’m Mexican American and live in the U.S and it is normal for our culture to live with our parents, even after going to University. It is basically ok for a person to live with their parents until they get married.

  56. TL;DR request

    I don’t even know how to begin to phrase this properly…so I’ll do my best. Can you please give your perspective of what is going on in South Korea during this tragedy in Jindo with the ferry. I know that it’s a really sad subject and I understand if you don’t feel comfortable speaking about this on the vlog. Arirang is one of the only English sources I have access to for what’s going on with the community. Even if you could just post some links to fund raising for aid for the families. I know this is a ridiculously sensitive subject…I’ve written and rewritten this comment and I still don’t know if I said it how I hope it comes across. My thoughts are with those effected. thank you for your time.

    PS: Martina, I hope that you were still able to make happy memories with your friend while she’s in town. Also just wanted to say that you guys(EYK crew) mean a lot to me and make me smile…thank you.

  57. I grew up in rural Southeastern US, and parents definitely aren’t expected to supply a Korean level of financial support. Most people I knew had part-time jobs by the time they were junior high, and that’s where their spending money came from. People tended to marry young in my area, so most people moved out when they got married. But if you graduated from high school and weren’t headed for college, it was assumed that you’d be getting steady work of some kind and getting your own place. Parents often “help out” financially if their moved-out kids are struggling, but it’s really unusual for them to totally support them. (Everybody in Mississippi is waaay too broke for that. LOL)
    It’s not uncommon for family groups to live really close to each other, though. For instance, when my cousin got married she and her husband moved into a house ~200 yards down the road from her parents’ house, which was about half a mile from her grandparents’ house.
    It’s also not uncommon for people to have to move back in with their parents due to financial problems or whatnot. However, there’s usually a trade of some kind going on. Sometimes they’ll offer to pay rent, though a lot of parents don’t feel comfortable taking it. So they usually find some other way to earn their keep, like cleaning the house or cooking meals or running errands for the parents, just generally trying to make themselves useful. It’s especially common with single parents, since childcare is crazy expensive and not always reliable, but when you live with family you know your kids are safe and looked after.

  58. Hi Simon and Martina,

    My name is Cristina and I grew up in
    America (Miami, Florida) but my family is from Cuba. In our culture (at least
    from my experience) gender plays a big role in whether or not you move out of
    your parents house. (This is not everyone but the majority or what I have been
    exposed to. My family and the other hispanic families that I have come in contact with are usually very traditional.)
    If you are a boy (18-20 years old) who
    is in your last years of high school, graduated high school, and/or in your
    first two years of college you are expected to get a job and give some of your
    salary to your parents if you plan on living with them. If you go away from
    home for college you are still expected to get a job but your parents will most
    likely send you a little money now and then to help you out. Once you reach
    (23-25 years old) you are expected to move out of the house and find an
    apartment or something.
    This situation is different for girls.
    Girls are not really “allowed” (I use this word loosely) to leave home. Your
    parents just don’t want you to. This has to do with the roles of the people in
    Hispanic families; it is very male centered. The men are strong, they think
    that they are in charge, and do all of the hard labor. Women are the “weaker”
    ones; they are supposed to be submissive to their husbands (most are not. The
    women are usually the ones who control everything), and do women’s work (clean,
    cook, take care of the kids, etc.). Girls are expected to stay home, help with
    the housework or younger siblings, study, and go to school. Most parents do not
    want their daughters to work or study away from home. Remember women are
    “weaker” and something could happen to them. They only move out when they get
    married and yet are still expected to live relatively close to home and visit
    very often (minimum once a week). Women can have jobs, any job they want. They
    just have to make sure that they can also take care of all the “women work”
    Girls are also expected to take care of
    their parents as they took care of her. Hispanics don’t really believe in
    nursing home or any elderly care facility. The daughter is supposed to take
    care of her parents as her mother takes or took care of her parents. As a
    culture we families are very tightly nit and even through divorce you still are
    close to your ex-in-laws. I would guess that that seems a bit weird.
    The son on the other hand can get away
    with visiting twice a month. Since he is the head of his own family now, he
    makes the rules. His wife, if she were also Hispanic, would have to visit her
    family often her family, as taught to her.
    Since, the last generation (my
    generation) of my family was mostly born and brought up in America this causes
    conflict of the traditional views because we didn’t grow up with that stigma
    prominent in our lives. We had the example from our parents but not from
    American culture.
    I hope that this wasn’t too boring or
    long. Have a wonderful day.

    Cristina B.

  59. I’m Vietnamese but was born in Australia
    1) All my family that are here in Australia live very close to one another. All my cousins pretty much when to the same high school and the same suburb
    2) I am now in my second year of university and I’m still living at home. This has never been strange or weird for me. It was what was expected. When I went to university I had found out that for some reason not a lot a of people had moved out. Even the people that grew up in a westernised families. Most of the people that move out were students that weren’t local students. Note: In Australia it is rare for students doing their undergraduate to actually move to another state for university. When I look at North American university students I’m like oh so independent.
    3) My parents don’t use credit cards. (They don’t trust the word credit in front of card). But we do use debit cards. I have never seen my parents one. But they got one made for myself and they give me my weekly allowance each week ($100). I pretty much use the money though until I have to pay for my textbooks and fees.
    4) Most of my universities is covered until I graduate and get a job by government program (HECS/HELP). Which all most all students go one regardless of their family’s economic background. But I pay what I can here and there. My parents did help me this one time with this money.
    5) As jobs go I current don’t have one. But in Australia I would say that as a university student its pretty common to have a job. Just not all people have jobs as students and your not judged if you don’t have a job. Not having a job I would say I common in my degree (science) which classes are five days a week and with classes that start at 9 am I know a lot of students have to wake up at 6 am just to get there on time.

  60. Sometimes it can be very hard to be independent. I moved out of my house at the age of 17 here in America and was labeled a runaway because I didn’t have my mother’s/court’s approval… But because of my home circumstance (lots of abuse), I needed to be out on my own and I was working a Mcdonalds job to cover rent and food money. Later I started college almost 18 but still 17 and had to struggle with not being able to declare independence and get financial aid (which I really really needed), and had to rely on some loans but that didn’t even help and I ended up homeless for awhile.

    BUT IT WAS A BLESSING IN DISGUISE! As I could finally go around my parent’s giant income and claim independence as a homeless/in danger of being homeless young adult. Now i have financial aid, am slowly paying off all my debts, and am in college full time about to graduate from my bachelors! For me it was necessary to be independent and once homeless I had to rely heavily on food stamps, food boxes/shelter supplies and even now I am couch surfing because my debt does not allow for me to put down a rental deposit because they don’t want those with bad credit. But by summer 2015 I plan to be living in my own apartment in the city with room mates and a job plus starting my masters. BTW I am not counting student loans hahahhaa because I’m not paying those until after I graduate and because those are what are helping me get out of medical bills and loan debt from bank currently…

    LIFE CAN BE SO HARD AS AN ADULT, I advise while in college/university staying with parents or family because so much can happen so fast and you could end up homeless like me

  61. I’ve lived in the southern part of the USA all my life. Its understood that once you graduate high school you move to a dorm for college then an apartment afterwards. If you don’t go to college you get a job and an apartment shortly after. It’s not abnormal for children to live with there parents but we, yes I still live with parents, don’t go around screaming it at the top of our lungs. I’m 23 still living with my parents and never moved to a dorm. I work with elementary schools kids and when they found out I lived with my parents they were shocked I hadn’t moved.
    Children are expected, when they move out, to be able to support their new family and their parents as they get older. Even buying a house with enough room for their kids and their parents.

  62. I’m from the US, but I think my family’s experience is atypical for people my age because of a generation gap. See, my parents were older than the parents of my peers. I was my mom’s 42nd birthday present (she was a child during WWII) and my dad (a child of the US Great Drepression) turned 55 the year I was born. I have a brother who’s older than I am.

    In my parents’ generation, you stayed at home until you were married, even if you had a job (especially if you were a woman). So they didn’t push my brother to move out, and because they were older, my brother stuck around because it was cheaper *and* he was helping our parents out because there were in their 60s/70s. While he was there, he had a fulltime job, helped with bills and fixing stuff around the house (particularly after our dad passed away at the age of 79).

    He didn’t have a girlfriend at any point, still isn’t married. I love him dearly but he has that buddy/geek/brother vibe which has made it hard to get a girlfirend… but he hasn’t given up looking for the right person!

    I’m the one who insisted on getting out. Back then I thought of it as escaping. Except for 1 or 2 summers during college, I haven’t lived at home since I was 18. Mom understood, but Dad was confused as to why I didn’t come back home and never understood it.

    Among our peer groups, what my brother did was odd, but no one really made comment about it as far as I know… probably because no one was going to say that he should leave our elderly parents to fend for themselves.

  63. Hey I’m from Holland. The Dutch youngsters leave their home around 18-21, most of them. But financially they’ll get support from their parents, if you are lucky [most people are, they just don't know yet]. Sometimes even the government will give you a helping hand, if your parents aren’t filthy rich. Medium rent is around 500 for a room.

    My situation: Living home student, waiting for that job that i’ll get soon very soon.

  64. Cosmic Cat

    I think in the UK we have a slight stigma with people still living at home as an adult but I think the stigma is changing because of the soaring house prices. Back in ‘the old days’, it was common for people to move out when they get married. Well that’s what my parents did. But now because people are spending time building careers or what-knot before marriage, and with house prices getting increasingly expensive, it’s harder to move out so people are now accepting the fact. I’ve read that most uni grads move back into parent’s house when uni is finished. I never moved out for uni because campus was just down the road from me, so I don’t have experience paying rent and bills. But I am at an age now where I want to be independent!!! It’s so frustrating! It doesn’t help that I live in the most expensive county. Damn you family! why did you have to settle here! My brother’s a kangaroo jo. He could’ve easily saved up for a place but he spends on other stuff, also my mum is too motherly towards him! >_< I am curious as to what my friends do when uni is over. Some of them have stayed but I reckon some will move back home.

  65. In Filipino culture, the parents basically provide everything for their kids. So once someone gets married, usually the husband and wife will move into the wife’s parents’ house and live there for a while until they save up enough money to find a place of their own (house, condo etc.). And then a few more years down the road, after their parents retire and whatnot and their kids are pretty settled, they will usually move into their kids’s homes and live with their families, so then the situation becomes so that the parents are now ‘mooching’ off their kids. But this is widely accepted in the Philippines and it’s definitely the ‘norm’ there. My parents did this, my mum’s sisters and my dad’s family did this. Filipinos are very family-oriented like that.Show less

  66. Out of all of my siblings, I am the only that went to a different country and be independent. I don’t know if it’s in Indonesia as a whole or only in my family, but my parents supported me throughout college. It is hard to get a job when you are overseas and as far as I know, in Jakarta, it is hard to get a job while you are in college. It’s either college or job, hard to do both because the schedule would clash. The odd thing is, now after I experience of living out of the house for 3 years, I want to move out…. but then, both of my parents not allowing that…. living with the family is not bad, but sometimes you want to be alone and be free…

  67. Seen I have 5 years old, my mom tell us that she can’t wait until the day that all here child’s get out of her house and star be independent. I am the youngest of 4, seen I remember my mom have been a single mother and now that is only me and her at the house. She expect me to stay with her, so that she can’t be alone. And I will stay with her until I get married, if a get married one day. But that doesn’t mean that now i’m 21 to go find a job and star to help her with start contributing to the household expenses. And most of the family in Puerto Rico will act like this. Let me explain, it’s ok to stay with your parents in the time that you study, but if you can work to (part-time) to help yourself for the expenses of been at the Uni, like food, gas, clothes, phone, etc…that will be great, but they will help you anyway (if they can).

    In Puerto Rico, apart that we are part of the US and we have been very influential by it. We are Latins and we very close to our family. And the way the parents expect to the child move out can be different. One can be that if you are pamper( mama’s boy or daddy little princes) by your parents, and if they have the money to pay all the expenses of your student life they will do it. Other can be that your are on your own and they will help you in someways. But when you reach at the time that you finish Uni, they expect you star look for a job and help them or maybe move out (this last option is made by yourself most of the time, if your parents really tell to get hell out of they house).

    Is really rear or never happen that you stay with your parents the whole life, even after you get married. Here in PR we have a saying that go “el que se casa, casa quiere” that means that ones who get married, want a house. Even that means you live like 4 house far that your parents (most of the time you move very far). And when your parents get old and they can’t anymore take care of them self, the family have 2 options. Send them to home-care or hire a house maid to help them in their house if they refuse to get out of their house or last, like my grandma did with her papa, move your parents with you or one of your siblings house and everyone help with the expenses of care or actually take care of them.

  68. In Hong Kong, it is very common for young graduates to stay at home, not because of their independence to the family, but mainly due to the skyrocketing rental value in a super small department. It would be a bonus to parents if they do not move out, since they can share the burden of rent. In my opinion, Hong Kong graduates have a very strong sense of independence, most of them are paying a sum of money to their parents to support their living or pay for the expense of themselves when living with their parents. Despite the abnormally high residential value, Hong Kong youngster are best known for aiming on buying a residential as soon as possible. I guess this is also one of the prove of being independence. But if saying would anyone feel ashamed of staying with parent, I guess not, but it would definitely be a bonus if you are not living with them.

  69. I’m a 23-year-old Korean currently in the middle of… “negotiations” with my parents. I’m making enough money to support myself, to pay my own rent, and I’m currently living on my own. This is probably only possible because I live/work in North America.

    Meanwhile, my parents are trying to convince me to move back to Korea.

    Them (read in Simon’s enthusiastic voice): You want independence? You can stay in a separate place and pretend like you cook for yourself and do your own l aundry! We’ll pay for it! (Said place is about a block away and belongs to my brother.)
    Me (read in Martina’s practical voice): What about work? I have a job in the U.S. What will I do when I go back to Korea?
    Them: Don’t work!
    Me: ??? How will this make me balanced, self-sustaining adult? How will you guys save money for retirement??
    Them: ?????? We love you!

    Haha… I love them too. Anyway, for them it’s almost like I’m rejecting them by not living with them! There’s a thought.

    (By the way, I’m loving the discussions on this board. Probably my favorite part about your blog, apart from the lovely vids)

  70. I’m in Washington, the northwest, and I can’t say for sure what it’s like, except from what I know from people. And that is…. stay with your parents forever!!! Why move out when you can live with them for free? I knew someone who was living with her parents, until they told her that her boyfriend had to move out (because he was living with them and they were both freeloading). So they moved in with the guy’s family. At least she has a job now? I also know two friends who are living at home and can’t find work at all because our economy sucks. One of them is attending college. They aren’t in a hurry to move out, either. My sister is living with our parents because it’s easier to raise her kid. But she pays rent. My sister-in-law lives at home because she feels most comfortable there. I stayed at home until I got married. That was always my plan. I didn’t have to pay rent as long as I went to college. My husband, on the other hand, moved out as soon as he could lol

  71. Hi! Here in Argentina (I’m not Argentine, so it’s from what I’ve seen), it’s pretty common to see adults living with their parents and even raising a family of their own in their parents’ house! I’ve noticed that the majority of people here get fed up of living with their parents by the time they turn eighteen, so they move out and live on their own for a while, only to return later in life after getting tired of paying the rent on their own. Of course, this doesn’t apply to everybody. Oh, and I’ve noticed that young adults tend to get criticised if they’re single and still living with their parents, but if they get married and bring a wife home, nobody really criticises them. I think it’s because people understand that it’s difficult to financially support a family, so living with parents is a lot more convenient. Whereas if you’re single, grown-up and still living with mom and dad, you’re looked on as a big baby who’s scared to leave home, especially if you don’t work to help pay the rent.
    That’s from what I’ve seen. :D

  72. We may have quite westernised mindsets here in Singapore, but we stick by traditional family values as well. Its common to stay with your parents until you get married. However, some points to note:

    1. Yes we choose to live with our parents but no, we do not free-load on them. More often than not, its due to strong family bonds, and being able to take care of our parents as they get older.

    2. Once we start working, we give our parents money and contribute to household spendings. In fact, the ultimate goal is to provide for our parents the way they provided for us. We term this fillial piety and we take it seriously!

    3. Education and housing in Singapore is notoriously expensive. I paid $25k in university fees. Also, you cant get access to public housing unless you are married or above 35yo. Private housing here is normally above 1mil.

    4. Parents are not expected to pay for weddings/cars/credit card bills/whatever. They are not ATMs!

  73. I really got a mix of things. I was born in the US, but my parents are Dominican immigrants. My parents expected me to move out because what I wanted to study for college was something that you honestly couldn’t get a good education in my home state, but there was no opus for me to move out, in fact my parents wanted me to try to stay a bit longer and go to the community college because they were afraid I wasn’t ready. I know that if I had stayed they would not force me to pay anything if I was going to school.

    I ended up moving to another state that is quite far away from where I lived, and they’re ok with it, but I think they wanted me to stay much longer than I did, like move out when I get married sort of thing, (which knowing me would be like late 20s). I was the one that was like “HELL NO!” I live with my S.O. of over a year in our cheap apartment, living off of a small paycheck and a mix of grants and loans. I like being independent, and while the majority of Americans feel shamed when they live with their parents for so long, since the US is a mix of cultures, there will be parents who grew up in other cultures that completely disregard that stigma.

  74. Denise Rodriguez Mercado

    In Puerto Rico it’s normal for women to live with her parents until she gets married the understanding being that she will go from taking care of her family to taking care of her husband (fun fact in Puerto Rico we are trained to cook and clean for the men in our family as young as ten). The men are expected to move out and make money to support his family, this often includes mom and dad. They can live at home when they are in college but any longer and they will be seen as babies. On the other hand if a woman hits her thirties and is still living at home it’s looked at as kinda funny, mostly because it means she hasn’t found any one to marry her. In big cities though you will find many young people still move out and become independent early because they have become “Americanized”.

  75. In India, you might spend your entire life at home with your mom and dad, like my dad (huuuge family yo) , or move to a completely different city, like my brother (him and his wife in an apartment). either way. your parents will accept it.
    Parents pay till you are through university, which includes fooding and hostel fees and even shopping.. then marriage as well… they may choose to pay for a new apartment and appliances as well :D
    You don’t get part time jobs in India at all… very few places actually have that.. so you depend on your parents. Once you get a job you are alone.. and sometimes parents may depend on you. two way street i guess..
    oh and… my parents don’t have credit cards.. T.T

  76. in American as they said we have that stigma about living with your parents. Well my best bud is from a Chinese family she finished collage and she has a full time job. but she still lives with them. I understand that she wants to pay off her student loans. That after she pays them off that she wants to move out but i feel like she hasn’t tried to take steps to become more independent like cell phone, car, car insurance her parents pay for all of them. Cause when i was 18 i was paying for cell, insurance, and bought my own car when i was living with my parents.

  77. I’m half Italian, half Japanese and these two cultures are very different when it comes to moving out.

    In Italy lots of uni students will live with their parents if they live in big cities such as Rome or Milan because the rent is stupidly expensive. However the more privileged part of society (or if you’re really smart) will move to different countries for university because education in Italy is appaling. If you do stay in Italy what often happens is that many people stay in education for MUCH longer than what would be considered normal in countries such as the UK (I’m talking about people taking 8 years to finish a 3 year degree). During this time many will live with their parents and have a part time job so that they can have some sort of independence from their parents. Since this is very common there isn’t any stigma about it as long as you’re a student. When you get a full time job many will move out (sometimes because their work place is in different cities or the parents want a smaller house now that their children are all adults) but this independence often doesn’t last very long. When your parents are too old to look after themselves the children have two options: 1) Pay for their parents to stay in a care home or 2) Allow them to move in with you. From my experiences with my grandparents I know that many elderly Italians don’t like living away from their family and will refuse to live in a care home so sometimes there really isn’t a choice for you. All in all Italian culture is very much based on family values so living with your parents, or at least have a house near them is the norm and nobody resents this connection.

    On the other hand in Japan many parents encourage (*cough* force *cough*) you to be as academically proficient as possible and if this means that you can get in a higher level university in a big city they will help you move out. This is because what job you can get is mainly based on what university you go to. Those who don’t like studying as much or don’t want to burden their parents will often find a job as soon as they finish high school and I know a lot of my friends who have moved out to tiny, little, rundown apartments in a bigger city to find a job somewhere. Some people decide not to go to university immediately or take night classes so that they can save up money for university later on. I think Japanese people are much more work driven and independent when they are younger, or at least it used to be that way. Now there are lots of adults who live with their parents and spend all their money on whatever they want (like the kangaroo Jos in Korea), some of them don’t even want a family of their own and are just content to sit on their money. If you are a young couple sometimes you’ll move back in with one of the families or at least in the same building as your parents so that they can take care of young children/ help financially. As your parents get older it is often expected for the children to take care of them and this can lead to very large families in very small apartments. But at least the parents can help out with cooking and taking care of young children so it’s not too bad. If you earn enough money and your parents are fit enough, just helping them financially is also acceptable and this creates lots of communities of elderly people (especially in the rural areas) that do volunteering etc

    I guess it’s very common to live with your parents, especially where the rent is really expensive so there’s no major stigma against it but most people I know want to move out at some point.

  78. I’m Vietnamese-Italian, so it’s easy for me to understand the Korean family culture. But at the same time I do feel the independence pressure. I’ve stayed at home with my mom longer than I wanted to, because my father passed away and I didn’t want to leave her alone. But now that I moved out my mom still wants me back and asks me every time I call her or see her that if I’m having a hard time I can move back anytime. I think she’s feeling lonely and despite I’m all grown up she still sees me as her little daughter.

  79. As an Asian-American, I never got an allowance. And my parents didn’t want my brother and I to leave home to go to college. But that’s because college in the US is very expensive. Both my brother and I were lucky to get full rides to college. So when my brother left home (I still live at home), all my mother had to pay for was his apartment and his food. However, both of us were forced to go out and get a job and pay for our own food and clothes and stuff once we entered college. In high school, I had to bring my food from home and my brother got free/reduced lunch.

    I did get a chance to go back to my parent’s home country and I really saw the difference, which opened up my eyes to the cultural difference and why my parents wanted me to stay home. In Vietnam, where my parents are from, the children stay either a) at home with the parents, or b) in a house near or connected to each other. My cousins over in Vietnam stay home with their parents, and most cannot afford to go to University. Also, girls do not leave home until they marry. And even then, they move to their in-law’s house and take care of the husbands parents. This is very different to over here where we get married and we move out right away and we only come home for major holidays.

  80. Hello, hello!! I’m from Montreal, but I come from an Armenian culture…so I have two completely contrasting ideologies attached to the whole “moving out when you’re still a ‘kid’” thing. In Canadian culture, as you already know, most kids move out around the time that they attend University–mainly to be closer to their campuses. In French Canadian culture, according to some of my Quebecer friends, many kids move out when they’re 16 (which is waaaayyyy too young in my opinion) or their parents start forcing them to pay rent if they refuse to move out (side note: I’m pretty sure this is one of the contributing factors for raising the school dropout rate among French-speaking Quebecers). Now, I also come from an Armenian background, so people in my culture, especially women in my culture, are not “supposed” to move out until they’re married. The argument is: “Why? Why collect debts when you have parents who can take care of you? Instead, build up your credit, and then when you’re married, you’ll be able to live more comfortably.” So I’ve been caught between these two ideologies my whole life.

    Also, in Armenian culture, the wife’s family is supposed to pay for the wedding (my father would say: “fat chance!”). If they can’t afford to pay for their children’s weddings, they’ll still find different ways to help them out…mainly by buying furniture (like the bedroom set) or appliances, cooking ware, for their new home, etc. The wedding ceremony/reception/hoopla often pays for itself because we give quite a bit of money as a wedding gift in our culture. So for those lucky Armos who marry and their parents have offered to pay…it’s actually a lucrative business venture to get married!!

  81. Nathalie Førland Maidana

    I am Norwegian-Paraguayan. And see the situation from both sides.
    Here in Norway the kids move out as soon as they turn 18. They start to study in a bigger city and move in with other students, very similar to North America. But they can move in again after they are finished to save up money.

    But i have also lived in Paraguay and Peru and experienced grown up people living with their parents, not only them, but with the wife/husband and 3+ children!
    I have a couple that I know in Peru, that were engaged for 5 years, got married and lived in their parents house, but not together. They lived apart for 3 hole years because they didn’t wanted to move out of their parents house, and didn’t want to move in with their in laws (?). And when I asked them why they didn’t got a place of their own, they looked at me like I was a freak from mars. After 3 year, the wife had to give up being pregnant and move in with the husband and in laws and his 5 other siblings (?). This is very extreme.
    Other thing that I see is that in Peru they don’t get married before they are 35+ because of the simple fact that they don’t want to leave the parents house. A couple could be engaged for several years and don’t get married before they are ready to leave home.
    The plus side of that is that they help out with money. They study or work and help out.

    In Paraguay you could see the same thing, a son with wife and family living with the parents, but they always help out economically.

    When a couple have kids they have in mind that when they get old they have 3+ kids to help them out economically and that they wont be alone when they retire and don’t have a lot of money. It’s normal for a family that the grandparents live with them their hole life.
    One of the reasons why there isn’t many elderly homes in South America.

  82. I’m a 23 year old semi-freeloader I guess and very very very thankful for my parents. I pitch in with rent and food expenses sometimes but my parents still support me a lot. I don’t have free reign over their credit card but mom buys me nice things. I don’t want to freeload forever but it’s hard with no full time work and my parents get a bit dramatic when we talk about my sister and I moving out someday. I definitely feel an obligation to somehow pay my parents back after I make a dent on my student loans. My dream is to buy them a house.
    I hope I stop being a kangaroo before I’m 30 or something. T.T Waaaa

  83. (In advance, I’m sorry if I posted this twice. I’m new and confused.)

    I’ve grown up in a Chinese/Vietnamese family. In my parents’ and grandparents’ view, they think your kids should live with you pretty much their whole lives. They take care of you when you’re young and in return, once they’re old and grey, you look after them. If you do move out, I’m pretty sure they want you to move somewhere very close too. Even my parents, they got married, had me and yet it took a while for my dad to be able to convince my grandparents for us to move out. This happened when I got to about age 5 or 6. Also, if you do succeed in moving out, chances are, your parents will soon come to move in with you. It’s very much of a loyalty-faithfulness thing. Everyone in the family supports each other. If you reeeeally love your parents and are faithful to them, you’ll WANT them living with you and want to take care of them. That is what is mostly expected. Because this is how they’ve lived, my parents almost get angry at me when I mention anything close to being independent. For example, “hey mum when will you teach me to drive?” Mum:’why would you need that I’ll drive you anywhere and everywhere you need to go.”; “I want to move out when I’m older” Parents:”No, you will live with us forever. If you want your own house, I will build you one in our backyard” o.O.They go on about how I’ve become to westernised and all that stuff. Also that thing about kids being independent and their parents didn’t pay anything for them and they have to get money themselves by getting a job at like 15 whaaaaaaat??? Barely had a clue about this. I get money from my family and I don’t think they expect me to get a job until I’m over 17….sorry I wrote quite a lot didn’t I? >m<

  84. I’ve grown up in a Chinese/Vietnamese family. In my parents’ and grandparents’ view, they think your kids should live with you pretty much their whole lives. They take care of you when you’re young and in return, once they’re old and grey, you look after them. If you do move out, I’m pretty sure they want you to move somewhere very close too. Even my parents, they got married, had me and yet it took a while for my dad to be able to convince my grandparents for us to move out. This happened when I got to about age 5 or 6. Because this is how they’ve lived, my parents almost get angry at me when I mention anything close to being independent. For example, “hey mum when will you teach me to drive?” Mum:’why would you need that I’ll drive you anywhere and everywhere you need to go.”; “I want to move out when I’m older” Parents:”No, you will live with us forever. If you want your own house, I will build you one in our backyard” o.O.They go on about how I’ve become to westernised and all that stuff. Also that thing about kids being independent and their parents didn’t pay anything for them and they have to get money themselves by getting a job at like 15 whaaaaaaat??? Barely had a clue about this. I get money from my family and I don’t think they expect me to get a job until I’m over 17….sorry I wrote quite a lot didn’t I? >m<

  85. In malaysia, there’s no such stigma as moving out when you’re an adult. Typically it’s different for everyone. some families would want you to move out, others would want you to stay. And for those who don’t move out, the kids will typically be expected to take over paying the bills for the house. Or if they don’t they would take over some other form of paying the expenses like groceries, etc kind of like paying rent to your parents in a different form. It’s hard to find a freeloader kid-adult because our culture is one that we are expected to be filial to our parents. So the whole it’s my house, it’s my rules thing is very true for our culture as well. As for those of us still in uni it’s perfectly normal to still be living with our parents until we graduate and get a job. And almost everyone moves out when they get married unless your parents are old and they need to be taken care of then usually the parents will be asked to move in with the married kid’s family instead. The only freeloader you can find is the ones with rich families who can afford to blow off money on your freeloading kid.

  86. In Singapore, or at least my race/culture (Malay) in Singapore, it’s very very okay to live with your parents when you’re still single because Singapore is ridiculously small and to buy or rent a house, it’s difficult because it’s insanely expensive. There’s a lot of criteria before you can buy/rent.

    Take for example, a 60 to 65 square metres flat, or a 3 room flat, what its called here, (http://www.hdb.gov.sg/fi10/fi10321p.nsf/w/BuyingNewFlat3room?OpenDocument) cost on average SGD$200k, yes, that is $200,000. Also, priority is given to couples/families because of the limited housing space. (*also because the government is pushing the population to 6.9 million so we’ll be packed like sardines. Standard of living is getting higher, salary is stagnant, population size is rising and you wonder why we’re not one of the happiest people in the world.)

    In my experience, once your child gets a full time job, it’s obligatory to give the parents pocket money as “repayment” for bringing the child up with their blood, sweat and tears. It’s only fair in my opinion. This happens whether you’re still living with the parents or not. It’s common for married couples to get a house of their own and in the process of getting that house, they might still stay with their parents. It’s also common for the parents to stay with the married couple.

    My mother has pen pals from America and it’s culture shock for them all when they know that her children don’t move out of the house once they’re 18 or when they go to college or university. Dorm culture is not very popular here because since Singapore is so small, it’s cheaper to just travel to and fro school than to live in a dorm. Although I do know some people who would rather do so due to the long commute to school, long hours studying in school, inaccessible work areas and of course, the overseas students.

  87. Krista Gibbs-Castillo
    Krista Gibbs-Castillo

    South Florida here! But my family is from Trinidad (woot woot!) and I have to say…. it’s a bit of a mix for me and my fam. :/
    Like me personally, I hate living at home. I had to move back thanks to financial struggles (losing a job sucks!) and I hate every second of being here. I don’t like having to depend on my grandparents or parents for anything, but I have to right now and I feel bad about that. I don’t get why people want to stay at home and live with their parents. I feel like I’m being a giant burden on them. ya know?
    However, others in my family love freeloading (cuz that’s exactly what they’re doing) and don’t want to move out, even though they are more than capable of doing so.

    I just don’t get it. I like having my own place, doing whatever I want with it and whatever I want in it. It’s really not that difficult to maintain your own place, and it’s awesome to have your own stuff. Seems like a lot of people these days just lack wanting responsibilities and goals. :/

    I might possibly be the only one who feels that way though. :/ *Kanye Shrug*

  88. I am korean we (including my parents) live with my grandma (im 14) in aus and my grandma does all the cooking and most of the housework but she has never complained. I also sleep with her on the same bed and my friends are like doesnt grandma’s smell and im just like no. I do want to live with my friends one day maybe when i go to uni. my mum and dad both work so my grandma takes care of me and she goes to my aunty’s house every weekday to babysit her kids.

  89. Here in the Philippines it’s kinda mixed I mean some people are independent some are not. Usually it just depends on what culture they’ve grew up with since Philippines were colonized for a long time by different countries and did a lot of trades with other countries. So it’s really common for us to have mixed blood here and every household usually has different culture. Like for us we have Spanish ancestry and we live beside my grandparents house and my other relatives just lives on the next street or just a couple of blocks away. I know some people that moves out after college but they’re usually from major cities since they are more influenced to western culture but there are some that still lives with their parents even when they are already married and no one really questions it. The only thing is that once you’ve got a job you’ll have to support your family even if it’s not really necessary. Some even work outside the country just to support their parents it’s kinda like “your parents took care of you when you were a kid and now it’s your responsibility to repay what they’ve done” kind of thing. Also in some households the grandparents take care of their grandchildren while the parents work and support them.

  90. Here in Sweden people in general want to move out as soon as possible. For most people. Usually this happens when you move to study at the university or if you get a job. Depending on what major you want you have at the university, you have to move town. For example I have studied both in Gotland (an big island south of Stockholm) and in Falun (a town in middle of Sweden) and had to move from my home town both times. A lot of university have possibility when it comes to apartments, usually there are some student apartments in the same town as the school that only students can rent. These apartments are small (some maybe 15-18 m²) and on occasion have shared kitchen with other students in the same corridor. The plan is to make the apartments as cheap as possible and usually the price for electricity and internet are included in the rent. With the small apartment you don’t need a lot of furniture and you can buy a lot from IKEA ;) Unfortunately it is sometime hard to get your hands on an student apartment, especially in big cities like Stockholm, where there are a lot of people that want them. The price is also higher in these cities.

    But if I should go back to the original question: Yes, usually you want to move out as soon as you can. You want to be able to work and pay for yourself and not live of your parents if you don’t have to. But some people can’t move as soon as they graduate upper secondary school. If they don’t continue to higher education an gets money from CSN (financial aid for students) and aren’t lucky to get a job (they are hard to get even with a collage/university education) it is really hard to afford a own place to live. These young people without job is one of the problems the government are struggeling with are also a big topic in the political discussion.

  91. $10k Key Money is the normal for studios in key areas and much of Seoul. One Bed places certainly.
    However it’s actually pretty easy to find places around the $3k to $5k, even Incheon, Bucheon and Seoul.
    Some studios are even 1 months rent or so key money. Often a little small for most people but a good short term option.
    The rest is completely true :)

  92. I feel like here in Germany, people value independence as something that you should have been taught by your parents. Since most people go to study in a city different than their hometown (cause you can’t study everything eeverywhere), normally people move out when they start university. But of those that stay in their hometown to study, some will stay with their parents of course, to not have to pay rent :) we don’t really have tuition here, and a system of university state loans of which we only have to pay back half. Still, because such loans are based on your parents incomes- rather than on how much your parents decide to support you financially- this is not even an option for many people. So most students have side jobs to pay rent (ridiculously high in some college towns) and fees etc… When we hear of people in their twenties living at home, we kinda have this imagee in our head that they’re childlike and not able to stand on their own feet, or still get their washing done and their meals cooked, etc- without even knowing their personal circumstances! For me, I am actually very close with my family, but kind of had to move out at some point. And when I would get homesick, everyone, even my family and closest friends just go: “but this is the natural way!” It is a very one-sided system.

  93. Roxanne Stephanie Contante Cha

    I’m from Philippines and its normal to live with your parents even when you got married. Like my mom’s cousin, she still lives with her parents with her husband and their 2 sons because they can’t afford to buy or even rent their own house. Even if they have work, they don’t give their share to their parents’ expenses. But even with this situation, no one (i guess) is questioning why aren’t they moving out. And this situation is very common to our country.

  94. I don’t think I’ll ever move out : -no monies-

  95. I am from Germany and my family let my brothers live at home after school while they were doing an apprenticeship. They did earn their own money (around 500€) but it was not enough to sustain a healthy lifestyle outside of home. What my parents did is, they made them pay a monthly ‘allowance’ to still stay at home. They were very sneaky because they said its for paying for food, electricity and such while they were secretly saving all the money on a savings account. When my brothers did move out after a three year apprenticeship gave them all the money they saved up for them to buy their own furniture and pay for the deposit and such. The money was ‘technically’ their own money but my parents saved it for them. I know that many of my friends families did the same. As for university, its similar to Finland, yet the incentive to move out is lower. University is mostly free (though minor tuition fees has to be paid, depending on the region). However, most people also receive a scholarship for studying. To keep the cost of moving out low, most people live in dorms or shared housing but Universities have an increasing number of students and it becomes ever more difficult to find cheap accommodation.

  96. I’m a 21 year-old American, and I still live at home. It’s really the last thing you want to do especially if you want to preserve your dignity. There is a “look” that people give you when you tell them that, especially if you’re a college alumni of two years or over. I’ll explain it to you; it’s a look of sheer disgust reserved only for an ungrateful, freeloading, lazy, debtor. You really feel quite useless, especially if you haven’t been able to get a job.
    I need to get an internship through the university, and really network or else I’m pretty much promised that I’m not going to have a job for a long time after I graduate. That’s why I’m terrified.

  97. I come from Chinese and Vietnamese heritage, but I was born and raised in Canada. You guys pretty much said it all… !
    got my first part-time job at 16 and I’m currently living with my parents, but
    I’m only 19. Also, I’m super proud of myself for paying my university
    fees all by myself (about 3 000 $ a year) and also all of my expenses. I’m still pretty good, no debts ! :) I don’t want my
    parents to pay for university since I’m the one going to school, and I
    want them to use their money for themselves. I also never had money
    allowance, and going to work at a younger age makes you understand the
    value of money ! Which is good !

    However, I think that Asians do live longer with their parents… well most people until they get married ? I love my parents and I love living with them. However, I would be very awkward to be in my thirties, not married, and still living with them… I won’t let that happen. I wouldn’t feel like an adult and I also know that it is not well seen in the society.

  98. I’m from California and attending college in Arizona (but my permanent address is still my parent’s place). I was pretty much raised knowing I had to be independent of my parents. I was barely out of middle school when I was expected to become the “third adult” of the house. My parents are supporting me through college, but they expect me to pay for as much of it as possible as I can. I also don’t have a bed at home so they don’t expect me to move back in. They’re even thinking of moving to a smaller house once my sister leaves for college.

    Yet I grew up with my grandmother living in the house. But my parents hated her and she never contributed to the household. So it was less of her taking care of her children and grandchildren and more being the freeloader herself. But my parents completely expect me and my siblings to take care of them when they’re older. So I’m only expected to be independent until my parents retire, I guess? We have some weird family values…

  99. I’m a first generation korean-new zealander and my uncle who is nearly 40 lives with his parents (my grandmother and grandfather) and his grandmother ( my great grandmother)

  100. Billie Christine Beckstead

    Things are very influenced by the main religion in my area, so we are a little bit on the weird side. Most people where I live are moved out right after high school. Mainly because the boys leave for two years for their religious mission and girls either go on a mission as well or to school. As soon as they come home from the mission they will marry, many of the girls go for two year college degrees because of this. But for the people who are not religious, they usually get married within a year after graduating from high school. There is a lot of pressure to get married young and start a family. I actually just received my invitation to join the young singles ward at my church after I graduate this May.
    In regards to parents when they get older; there aren’t any big cities where I live. So we all live close enough to each other to be able to get to the parents house fast when they are in need of something. There are people in the nursing home, but that is because they don’t have any family what-so-ever.

  101. It is not as much of a stigma to be still living at home in the US anymore. I am going on 27 in a couple of weeks and I have always lived at home besides when I was in college. It’s not my choice to live at home but more like it’s my only option. My line of work doesn’t make much so I can’t afford to live away from home. However, I am still pretty independent. I pay my student loans, phone, credit card, health insurance, and car payment. I am fortunate that my parents don’t make me pay for rent or internet. Trust me I want to move out but with my current job it is just not possible. I knew going into college that with my degree in Marine Biology I would not be making a lot so it doesn’t really surprise me. Also, my current job working on-board a ship has made it even harder to move out. It makes good money but it is not constant. I can make really good money in a month on the ship and then go 3 months w/o anything. Unfortunately, it is really hard to get a full-time, permanent job in my field. Meanwhile, my younger bros who is 25 has his own house that only he lives in b/c he can afford it. It sucks sometime because I am a independent person and my parents do drive me crazy at times but I don’t feel bad about it anymore b/c I know of people who are older than me who live at home. Sadly, because of the job market, it’s become the norm here in the US.

  102. As a first generation Korean-American (parents were born in Korea), my parents have supported me in ways that I could only repay by becoming very successful and reciprocating their support onto them and my future children

    They expect that I’ll stay dependent to them at least until I graduate from college (which they totally paid for) and at most until I get married (at which point, my mom jokes that she’ll be dependent and move in with me :P)

    As to be expected, my situation is a mix of Korean and Western. While they’re supporting me fully, once I get a job, i’m expected to move out and support myself (find a place to live, pay my own bills, buy my own car).

    I don’t know if this is a Korean thing or just my family, but i’m expected to really take care of my parents as they grow older, and not sending them to a nursing home or something. Not that I mind supporting them after all the years they supported me :) My paternal grandparents both lived in my father’s household until the days they died.

  103. My brother and his wife + son are still living with us because housing in Singapore is absurdly expensive. At the end of the day, even though im 19 and still living with my parents, I still work part-time to support myself. I dont pay any bills at all, though, all of my monthly income almost always 100% go to basic needs and food. My parents dont buy me anything anymore unless i ask, or they know im tight on cash.

    BUT, in Singapore, it is perfectly normal for someone to live with their parents for a very long time, until they get married.. and thats when people will judge you if you dont have a house of your own… However, since housing is really expensive in singapore, couples tend to get a house of their own BUT bring their parents in WITH them instead, so all of the bills and utilities are technically no longer their parent’s resposibility, even though they are living together. In another case, my cousin took over the house ownership from his mother to his and his wife’s name so they can all live together.

    Anyway, there is no stigma whatsoever about not moving out once you reach 21 or anything. The main stigma is mostly about marriage. Its not “youre 21 and you still live with your parents?” its mostly “youre 30 and still not married ?”.. Which essentially is the same thing.

  104. In Singapore we live with our parents until we get married because singles can’t purchase a house (HDB flats, singaporeans ya’ll know what i’m talking about). And nowadays, even married couples stay in with parents for a few years because they are in the ‘queue’ to get a house.

    if you’re in college you can live in dorms, or rent houses near the school with your friends but that’s about it.

    I’m 21, single, working full time and studying part time and living with my parents. I don’t mind actually, I help out with the bills when I can and because I only have one other sibling I am able to have my own room. I know friends that have to squeeze with another sibling in the same room because they have more than one sibling ><

  105. In Latino culture, family orientation is a huge deal! I’m used to hearing Caucasian friends say their parents want them out of the house after they turn 18 yrs. old, graduate high school, and get a job or start college. Most Latino parents won’t say this because they like keeping the family together and it’s not a stigma to still live with your parents, even in your twenties. Once you graduate from college and get married, that’s when they start shooing you out! “And you CAN’T forget to take care of your elders even after you’re married, because what kind of ungrateful wretch would you be to ignore the ones who brought you into this world?!” I’m only paraphrasing what my own relatives have said. Maybe because my parents conditioned me to be Miss Independent, they don’t keep me home but they also won’t shoo me out either. I’m a study abroad college student working for my own money, so I suppose my upbringing is different from more traditional Latino families. I’d say it’s nice to have a tight knit family relationship, but there’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed when it comes to married kids moving on and clingy in-laws taking over their lives. Other than that, I like how S. Korea takes care of their elders<3 Prayers for the S. Korean shipwreck victims and their families.

  106. I’m 23 years old, living in Missouri USA and I live with my parents. My dad actually doesn’t want me to move out yet because he doesn’t see the point of me living on my own. I actually had two opportunities to move out with friends but my dad was against it. While I’m in school with just a part time job, he thinks it’s best for me to stay home and live for free instead of trying to survive on my own or with friends. So my parents completely support me, except for school, I do pay for my own schooling and get Grants when I can. But as for items, such as my car, phone, food, etc. My parents pay for that. I do pay for my own clothes and personal hygiene things. Oh, and also my dog, they do buy her food but everything else like trips to the vet and collars and what not, I pay for. Also, being 23 and still living with my parents, I do have more responsibility at home. For instance, cleaning the house and making dinner. They do those things too but because they are getting older and more fragile, I find myself doing more cause they need the help. (Which I don’t mind at all.) So yeah, I think that because the economy has changed so much in the United States since from when my parents were my age, a lot of people are staying home. Also, because of the economy, instead of even considering retirement, my dad had to open his own business to survive. And I am also working for my dad.
    It’s definitely different from the stereotypical North American way but I enjoy helping them and working for them. So I have nothing to complain about.

  107. Priyanka

    I grew up in India in a big house and lived with my parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins. It is expected that kids live with their parents even after getting married. It only seems fair to take care of aging parents when they took care of the kids.

  108. I am Chinese American living in California, with an entirely immigrant family, aside from me. I have 3 part time jobs, I’m a full time student as well, and I live with my family. I have never asked my family for money, because I see how hard they work for what we have, so I try to help out with utilities, food and a bill or two. I work to be able to make enough money to buy what little I want too, as well as pay for college. (I do not condone taking out student loans… but that may be a personal choice). Traditionally, in China (and pan east asia, as there is a high cultural influence built upon 2 -3 thousand years of trade and empire building/clashings), when a woman marries, they move in with the husband’s household, from the elders to the little youths. It is that old adage of the deep roots of Confucian upbringing and filial piety. To respect your elders, you must also support them as they have raised you and supported you. It is not seen as a bad thing to live with family, especially parents. It is very shameful to put elderly parents into a retirement home as well, as the children are supposed to be able to support their parents through thick and thin. Maybe my family (and extended family) are still hooked and deeply seated in those traditions for the moment. My parents never gave out their credit card for use, and growing up, there was only lunch money, no allowance. Although, I was offered, at the end of every semester, $100 for each A grade I got in a class, so in a way I was already working in school XD. I tried the whole moving out for college for two years, with my then boyfriend and his family… and it was very strange living away from my insular family. I had since moved back in, and have been much happier surrounded by my crazy, huge, loud, and unconditionally loving family. Oh yeah, I’m a senior university student, and I’m 25. I’m probably not going to move out any time soon until I am out of school and able to secure a steady, and reasonably life supporting job.

  109. I live in the U.S. and had to start giving my parents rent money when I turned 18. It was still cheaper than apartment expenses and I stayed with my family until I got married. I have a big family so it would’ve been lonely living by myself and it helped me focus on college. Many families here moved in together to help each other when the economy went down awhile back.

  110. There is a guy in the village here that is in his 40′s and freeloads off his parents. And is really aggressive about it, pretty much stealing money from his parents to go out drinking. There is another guy in his 20 or early 30′s like that as well. My husband, although Korean, has huge problems with that. He left home in his early 20′s and has lived overseas for years.

    There is really a huge difference, like when I moved back home before our wedding in Australia, or any other time I moved back home temporarily, I paid rent to my parents – well I guess like paid board. But there is an acknowledgement that I am an adult and should be paying for myself. My parents have a lot more freedom than Korean parents, they can do what they want, have money to travel, where in Korea you are still parenting your fully grown children. My Korean sister-in-law and her boyfriend are living with my parents in Australia while doing their working holidays and were a bit surprised that they would have to pay rent to them. But that’s how it’s done in Australia. If they were just there for a short time they could stay for free. But staying for over one year and working full time while using water and electricity and expect my parents to be okay with that? No, that’s not okay. It’s not a huge amount but it’s considerate to be giving some money to the household.

    Even though we are living with the inlaws in Korea right now, I think our situation is a little bit different to others in our situation. Hugh’s parents leave us alone a lot of the time. We usually have meals together but there is no pressure to. His parents would never come into our room, we have a separate life. But I have heard from some people who married into a Korean family that they find living or even staying with the Korean inlaws very difficult because the mother in particular is so involved in their life. They aren’t given adult freedom. So I am grateful that my parents-in-law are very hands off.

    I can see the benefits of this style of parenting and close family bonds but I think like anything it gets abused. The same way the hierarchy systems gets abused. Now Korea is a developed country and young people have jobs, combine that with modern society and materialism and there is the perfect opportunity to take advantage of that situation. I think the saddest thing is that many people don’t fulfil their end of the bargain which is to look after their parents in old age. My mother-in-law has made sure my life is comfortable here but always says to me “but when I’m old you need to look after me”. Which I agree with and I will. But looking around the area where we live in, all these elderly parents have been abandoned. So the parents have paid for all this stuff but their children move away and don’t make an effort. Hugh says they live for the ONE DAY a year where they will see their children. I don’t want to be old and crotchety and be like “this generation is terrible!” But…. from what I can see, the system has been abused. Parents give everything to their kids but don’t get the care in return, at least in the area we are in.

    I think it’s started to happen in the west with “helicopter parenting” as well. The over involved parents can’t let go of their children and let them mooch off them. I’ve heard from people working in universities that for the first time ever – in the past few years there has been parents attending university with their kids, like during their orientation week and first classes, to make sure their kid is okay…

  111. I am Mexican(23), my family has been in the U.S. Around 21 years. It is not acceptable for me as a “young lady” to move out of my parents house without being married. The exception to this is if I would go away to school but then after graduating would have to move back home. It’s the same with other Hispanic friends that I have, some have moved out and their parents stopped speaking to them.

  112. Yeah it’s pretty common in Asian cultures to live with your parents, even here in N. America. I’m Filipino living in CA and live with my parents still, I have relatives who are working adults with kids of their own that live with their parents also. I think in Asian culture we usually grow up with our parents taking care of us, and us taking care of our parents later on. I don’t feel weird about it because, honestly, college is so gosh darn expensive nowadays and it’s easier to live with your parents and pay off student loans. I do want to move out when I’m financially stable, but right now as a full time student it’s hard.

  113. María José Alejandra Valencia

    In Mexico, many young people work part time to help their parents with their expenses, and sometimes, married couples stay in the house of their parents because there is just no money to move out. However, in high-middle class families, the sons and daughters stay at home until they get a job and/or get married, or just want to move out. Most of this happens only after they conclude their education, though. Since in university level the most expensive career is medicine (around 700 dollars every semester plus other expenses), moving out after getting job isn’t that hard.

    Anyway, no matter what, you may stay at your parents until you get a job/finish your education, or a life partner. After that, it’s unacceptable, and before that, it’s a little scandalous

  114. Though a lot of people in their twenties or just out of high school probably want to move out. I’d say that around here where I live in the U.S. a lot of people can’t. Job wise, unless your passion is warehouses, FedEX/UPS, or something in medical, there’s not a lot of good paying jobs to help you move out. But if jobs aren’t your problem and you just want a place that isn’t in a questionable area with a lot of crime, you’re definitely going to pay for security. Like the cheapest I’ve seen for an apartment in these areas are between six and eight hundred U.S. Dollars. And that’s just your monthly rent. As for your deposit, I’ve heard some of these places judge on how much you make each month and they want twice of that much. So if you’re only working part-time or just have a crappy salary, you may not even be able to get an apartment because of how much money you get from your job. I’m not saying every single place does that here, but there are some that do that kind of stuff.

  115. In my culture, or at least in general when it comes to Latino cultures living in the United states, it is NOT cool to be graduated or not in school at all AND not have a job. That’s definite free-loading and considered lazy, BUT, if you are going to school or are working while living with your parents, it’s not bad.

    I’m a college student and while I had money to pay most of my expenses at school (I went out of state) my parents would still deposit some money in my account. They didn’t have to, but I think the need to feel they were providing for me was really strong and it makes sense because of the family dynamic that exists in the Latino culture. Parents work, kids go to school, parents support kids and then somewhere down the line kids support parents. The idea of taking care of your parents is VERY strong in Latino culture. From the moment you start working, you’re expected to help out with bills if your parents are having problems paying them all. Then, one (if not all) of the children will take care of the parents after everyone’s grown up and moved out.

    You don’t leave Mom and Dad without comfort, especially if there is more than one full-time working child. My parents can be almost broke but they will always send money to their parents if they need it. Also, if the parents don’t have a place to live in, they move in with one of the kids. It’s a sort of payback for the whole time the parents supported their children financially wise. (It is also generally frowned upon to put your parents in a Senior Home. Exceptions exist but it is never the first option. My father has explicitly forbidden my siblings and I to put him or my mother in a Home.)

    As to what age young adults leave their house in Latino cultures . . . it really depends on the type of family you live in. Most of my friends my age (and older) still live with their parents, but they usually have jobs and help their parents out when they need them. My parents (especially my mother) want me to stay with them until I get married. You see that a lot in very traditional Latino families.

    So if you’re not in school and you live with your parents, you’re expected to have a job and help pay bills. If you go to school, you can have a job but it’s not generally needed, except for the person’s own sense of independence.

  116. When I was little, if I asked for something my parent’s would ask me how I would earn it. xD So lemonade stands were quite frequent for me. I started working about seventeen and now I’m twenty and I luckily don’t have to pay rent cause I do live with my parents, but I do pay for my own bills and gas and school supplies and books.

  117. I was born to Filipino parents in Canada. I’m currently 23, just graduated college, and currently looking for a job. We Canadian students have it a little better than students in the US; our student loan debt is generally not as high. However, the job market here is not much better. Been looking for a few months now and still no leads. At this point, I don’t see moving out as a viable option in the immediate future. That said, all my friends (who are also Asian, specifically Chinese and Vietnamese) are the same age as me and still live with their parents. I find a lot of Asians live with parents until they’re certain they can stand on their own two feet while I noticed Caucasians are more likely to be living on their own (or with a roommate or two).

  118. I live in Australia, but in my country Vietnam, after when someone gets married the couple has to live with the husband side parents but some people do live with the wife side (but some people do live on their own). But in Australia (And they’re Vietnamese) Vietnamese people will judge them, especially if they grew up in Australia and went to school here.

  119. 25 and at home. Been saving money for a long time. Will eventually have enough to buy a house. Per jjajangmyun = zia ziang mien.

  120. I’m glad you guys made a video on this topic. My family moved to Canada when I was younger but we pretty much still have the same traditional Chinese values and practices as we did in Hong Kong. One of the hardest things for me to explain are the cultural differences, especially now that I have a job after graduating university. Most of my coworkers are not Asian, and I can pretty much tell what they are thinking when they ask me about my personal life and I tell them that I live with my family. I understand that people try to be open minded and are socially conscious enough not to say negative things when I tell them, but it’s impossible not to have certain judgements depending on the type of culture they grow up in. This is also part of the reason why I don’t share as much about my personal life to my non Asian friends/coworkers, as the cultural practices can be quite different. I feel like I shouldn’t have to justify these differences in order to feel more accepted or less judged. That being said, I do appreciate North American values of being independent and I think that is an important aspect in the process of growing up. It’s certainly an interesting experience integrating traditional values from my culture while living in Canada. Thanks again for choosing this topic to discuss! :)

  121. Simon and Martina,
    Thank you for doing this TL;DR, not only because it was very informative about Korean culture; it helped me with the depression I’m currently going through. I’m 27 years old currently living with my parents and desperately trying to find full-time work. Being an American and Hispanic woman who has not lived outside the home, I have been on the receiving end of a lot of stigma. My parents do not want me moving out until I’m married or much later on in life if needed, but by that time I would be responsible for taking care of them as an only child. Seeing friends, former classmates, and former co-workers living the life that is the “norm” here in the US really has taken a toll in my life. Reading the comments from around the world as well as those of different cultural backgrounds in the US made me realize I’m not alone and “weird” for the life style I’m expected to live.
    Thank you. :)

  122. I guess they’re rich enough to live without get a job or their job is transferrable something.

  123. I’m 29, Australian, and live with my Mum and Dad. I don’t have a job so I can’t contribute financially, however I do the majority of housework and household shopping. I, er, don’t have friends irl, but I’m definitely the odd one out among my family and people whom I know online.

  124. In Bangladesh, for men, it’s expected that after you get a career you move out. For women, it’s a completely different story. Women here are actually raised to rely on their parents, then after they get married, their husband and extended family. Some women work, but thats not common because a lot of women don’t have actual “outside” experience outside their family. In Dhaka it’s different, but for the majority of the country this is how it is. :/

  125. I’m in a bit of a middle ground. I am American (born and raised in Miami) but my parents are immigrants from different hispanic countries. On one hand I do feel the pressure from American society to move out on my own. When I had to move in with my parents (although temporary) I felt ashamed and wanted to keep it a secret from my peers. Or, when I did tell others, I found myself giving as many excuses as I could as to why I was moving back into my parents house.
    However, my family is from Cuba/Honduras where it is completely normal to simply live with your family until you are married, or at least older and financially stable. In fact, despite the oldest being in her 30′s and married all my cousins in Honduras still live under one house (their mother moved to Italy to find work). When I was living in my own my family always reminded me I could move back and when I was looking for a new apartment my mother and father begged me to come home.
    Currently I am living in Korea and in my own apartment. My mother was really hoping that I would be sharing an apartment with another female but I’m glad to be on my own.

  126. In Colombia there is two types of relationship, that is defined if you live in the city or in the country-side; an important factor is the education level. In recent years the amount of country-sided teens come to the city to the Universities, so this people often live with roomates or in leasehold; there is another group here that can’t afford University or doesn´t have middle education, that begin to work at really early age and form a family at 18-20+. The people that live in the city are relatively close to the Universities, so they doesn’t have to leave their house till they graduate, there is no social stigma if you are a good student, if you are not, the same parents will begin to pressure the kids to graduate soon. People in the city that doesn’t have access to higher education may or may not live with their parents, but there is also the situation where the sons move nearby where their parents live. Because of a commercial, the general term for people that last long in any situation (long relationships, live a lot of time with their parents, etc.) is “bon brill” that it is a brand of kitchen sponges :)


  127. here in the US I think it really depends on your parents and their upbringing. cause my parents never got an allowance so we don’t get one hahaha so to me when someone tells me they get an allowance I find it strange. Same goes with the living at home after high school, I know my parents would let me stay and they have even said so but I want to have my own place eventually so I dont feel like a burden. But I know other people who left right after school and I kinda found that a bit strange but I guess that how they were raised.

    • I know what you mean about the allowance thing. My mother didn’t even understand the concept and when we finally explained it to her she said it was stupid to expect money for doing your chores. To me, allowance was something I only saw in TV shows and when a friend would tell me they got one I would be so shocked.

  128. May be it’s the eastern and western difference. what I was surprised at us culture is that all the students get cars even they’re so young. And I thought where the money come from? If their parents buy them a car, they can’t say they are living their own. And usually tuition is so high, so parents pay tuition is natural. I have heard that US students are independant, but I wonder how it’s possible.

    • I just drove my parents’ car in high school. The thing is, everything in the US is so far spread out, and accessible public transportation is often not available if you don’t live in a city, so a car can be a necessity. I know some people who have cars — they’re usually either used, old cars the parents/grandparents don’t want to drive anymore, cheap cars marketed toward students, and/or paid for by their parents. The thing is, ‘living on your own’ doesn’t really happen at 18 for most people; it’s closer to 22 for most. Also, many Americans do have piles of debt.

  129. I lived with my parents until they moved last August, and I’m 27. I have actual reasons for not moving though – my health has prevented me from going to school or working, even though I’ve been trying hard to find a job. People here won’t hire you for even a job that doesn’t require experience, unless you have experience, so I can’t find anything. I can’t study what I want in school either because it simply isn’t offered anywhere near me. I have to move 4-5 hours away to start studying, which I can’t do because I don’t have money because I can’t get a job, but I can’t get a job because I don’t have experience because I can’t get a job! People look down on me for sure though, because I don’t have any outward signs of illness or anything. Even my parents, siblings, and other relatives all see me as being lazy or “just pretending”. -sigh-

  130. I live in Canada and I grew up the same as you guys. I have never ever been given my Dad’s credit card. Personally I don’t think it right the adults should be given there parents credit cards. However I am aloud to stay at home for as long as i want. Personally thought i just don’t have the money or a good enough job to move out on my own. I have a friend who is Korean and when her brother decided to go to university out of provinence i was so surpised at what her parents did. They actually quiet both there jobs, moved the whole family just so there son wouldn’t have to live in a dorm. I personally think thats nuts, know unless i got a transfer with my job and had something lined up i would never do something like that. You giving up an means of living to move to a new provence with no money what so ever and no job just so your son doesn’t have to live on his own. He has brothers and sisters who had to give up all there friends and what ever jobs they had just so he could go to university. I personally thought that was selfish of the parents to make the whole family move just because there eldest son choose a university out of province. Thats putting so much persure on the son also. he has to know get a great education, and job to pay his parents back. I just can’t stand stuff like that, i don’t understand it at all. Sorry to the people who believe in this kind of stuff. I know it’s not my friends fault but i just think the parents where crazy. I know there being protective and all but to move your family with nothing to live on and start up new after they just moved to canada just so he can go to school is dumb. I think the parents should have let him go on his own.

  131. ♔ 빅토리아 ♔

    I’m not sure whether it is just my group of friends but in Aus genrally in uni you stay with your parents. There isn’t that culture of going to another state to go to uni.

    For me growing up in a practically Asian household (mum is viet dad is western but mum wears the pants in that relationship) even through uni I was half way encouraged not to get a job or anything to distract from my studies. That includes relationships xD So yeah during uni I’m expected to stay at home after I have a stable job i think on my own terms I’ll move out :P

  132. It also varies with households and the dynamics, I think. My family is Sweedish and Supiaq (a native alaska tribe). We live in Alaska. I’m a junior in college and do feel a need to move out more for independence but I can’t without racking up super amounts of debt. Yet my dad says that as long as we are pursuing our education we can stay with them. Yet if we stick around after graduation we have to start paying rent to help out with the grocery bill, heating, ect.

  133. Alexandra E. Rodríguez

    From the US in a Mexican culture: Although leaving the nest at an early age is very common in the US, living in a Mexican-cultured household is different from what I have seen and experienced. It’s very family-oriented and staying at home with your parents is a sort of self-implied family obligation/responsibility. It’s not until you have a family of your own that you go out on your own. I’m coming from a more traditional Mexican-cultured home, fyi. However, this gets very difficult when you want to leave the nest to do your own things but are subtly guilt-tripped on leaving your family behind. Internal and externals cultures clash which can be difficult at times.

  134. I live in America but I’m Cuban and so is my whole family. Growing up with a Hispanic culture I noticed that we also had a tendency to swing more towards “taking care of family.” I mean I was raised with my brothers and parents but grandparents on my father’s side lived with us as well (and my mother’s side for a few years) plus aunts and uncles too occasionally. I was always expected to live at home while at college and to live at home until I got married pretty much. I probably would have stayed home too but my college was 4 hours from home. I would say independence tends to be valued more in the states but that in a lot of Spanish cultures family is still super important. My grandmother always says that if she was rich, she’d buy a huge house so that LITERALLY EVERYONE in the family could live there. Personally, I can’t wait to move out but I know I would have to live hella close to my mom and brother.

  135. this whole living with your family until you are married isn’t all that weird for me. I am Hispanic, meaning you live with your parents until married, and even then if you cant move out, you and your spouse still live at home…. but parents still expect them to be hard working to move out some day. there are some cases where you can move out before marriage, but parents still want to hold on to till you are married .I think things are still different for a woman. If you are Hispanic and a women it is ten times harder to move out, than a male, because I personal think Hispanic family’s believe a woman needs to be taken care of. you know all the stereotypical things that women should be.

    • You are so right. I’m Cuban and my dad always said I couldn’t move out until I was like 30. And my older brother moved out when he was like 21. It can definitely be different for girls. I mean I had to learn to cook and clean as kid but my brothers got to play sports and video games.

    • Alexandra E. Rodríguez


    • I agree! I’m from a Puerto Rican family and this is on point.

    • I’m Latina as well, and though my dad doesn’t mind if I leave now at 20 years old, I know plenty of cousins who are female and stayed with their parents until they got married. In a way I kinda feel lucky because my dad thinks differently and I should appreciate his nagging more lol My dad left his home when he was 13 back in Mexico so I guess that has to do with how he thinks now. I guess a parent’s view point on independence is based on their personal experience. What do you guys think?

      • That is very true, that a parent’s view point on independence is based on their personal experience. An example in my case would be with driving. I know so many people who have at least driven a car a bit since they were 13 (male or female) and their parents give them the independence to drive at 16. (and a car if they can afford it) On the other hand, I had to learn how to drive from an instructor at 16, after getting my permit, and only then I could drive to certain places one of the cars at my house. And the whole getting your own car thing? When I can work and pay for it. This was influenced by my parents because my mom says she got her first used car when she was 20 after paying for it, and dad got to drive after finishing his bachelor’s degree. (since he stayed in campus he never really needed one) I’m 18 now and about to graduate high school, and I still have big restrictions on driving. It’s a bit sad though when they see differently towards other people, even family members. Ex. I have a cousin who is 13 right now, and when we were visiting last holiday season I remember my uncle was saying he would let her drive a bit, to learn. And my mom VERY MUCH agreed with that. I was like “what?” o.O I’m also Latin, and I’ll go to a college that’s really close to home, so I’ll still be living with my parents. I guess I just wish that my parents treated me more like an adult even if I live with them. I may be weird for asking for more responsibilities, but I really want them. I really want to get a job and start saving, help them in what I can financially and move out after college. I’ve wanted to get jobs in summer but its hard here if you’re under 18, and though it could have been possible, my parents didnt let me. (Again, mom didnt have her first job ’till 18, so she always used that as reference) Hopefully this summer will be start, and my “breakthrough” to actually growing up and becoming an adult, even if I still have to live with my parents for 3 more years.

  136. In my country (Argentina) there’s a stygma about living with your parents after you have 25 years old. But there’s a bigger problem: it’s very difficult to get an apartment to rent and it’s almost impossible to buy one (even a small one). Everything about renting of buying properties is so expensive here. I’m really discouraged about that, even if I have a job.
    There are people who move out and find a nice -or a proper- apartment but I think it’s getting harder and harder here for young people like me (I’m 24).
    My english sucks so don’t judge me, please.

  137. i live in Singapore and it is normal that we are still living with our parents even in our 20s or 30s… this is mostly because getting a house or an apartment here is too expensive. yes, we do have to pay a deposit but it is super expensive like a couple of hundred thousand dollars (Singapore dollars). this is also mostly because its getting very crowded here and the government is building new houses asap. people can “book” a place but the priority will be given to those who are already married and have children as compared to someone who is living by themselves. this is also because everything in Singapore is getting more expensive as we, students who want to move out of the family house, don’t have that kind of money….
    even after they get their houses, they will continue to pay the remaining of the house for the rest of their lives here. my parents are still paying for the houses here. it’s never ending. i just wish good luck to the future generation.

    • Yeah Singapore’s housing is going crazy these days. I’m planning to get my own place late this year but since I’m single, getting a place by myself means i will be lower on the priority list.

      Generally we have 3 types of housing here in ascending cost order: Public housing (govt owned apartment flats, also known as HDB flats), private condos (privately owned condominiums) and landed property (privately owned houses/bungalows).

      Most citizens buy HDB flats, because its the cheapest. There are 2 markets available for HDB flats: Re-sale and Build-To-Order. Re-sales are just people who are already living in such houses selling it to someone else and BTOs are new building projects by the govt and people place orders before the actual construction starts. BTOs are off limits for foreigners, though Permanent Residents are able to purchase BTOs if their spouse is a citizen. BTOs ranges around SGD$100k to SGD$300k depending on the location and size of the house. I’m not sure about the actual measurements but looking at Simon and Martina’s current apartment, I would say It’ll probably cost between $150k to $250k here as a BTO. the down side of a BTO is that even after placing a deposit for the purchase, you have to wait for at least 3 years (sometimes 5 years) before you get your apartment, which is why it makes the re-sale market price so crazy. For a $100k BTO apartment, it could go up to $400k in re-sale market. not to mention re-sale market is open to anybody as long as you have the money.

      Next up, private condos, they usually cost above SGD$1mil for each unit. there were cheaper condos i believe but at very unattractive locations. Most newly built condos in singapore costs above $1mil because development companies have been buying very prime locations to build condos. extremely prime locations like orchard would cost like $2mil or more depending on the size. keep in mind that a lot of smaller condo units are actually way smaller than typical HDB flats and yet they costs more. mainly because you have facilities like gym, swimming pools, event rooms and such. another reason could be because when you buy a condo, you actually do own it, but buying a HDB apartment, you are actually a “tenant”, stated on the contract. meaning if the govt wants to demolish your apartment, you have no choice but to sell it back to the govt at extremely low prices.

      as for the landed property, i don’t really know much about the prices but i’ve heard they costs around the same as private condos and even though the house itself is a lot bigger. 1 of the main reasons could be that landed houses are usually built at extremely inaccessible locations. you have no convenient way of traveling to such places via public transport (except cabs) which makes them undesirable unless you have a car. and dont get me started on how expensive cars are in Singapore.

      the rental here is as crazy as the purchase market. to rent a room and i mean a ROOM, a bedroom, not an apartment, would cost SGD$1000 a month. and that is the below average range. normally it costs around $1200 at prime locations, if you are lucky you can find $600 or $800 a month for a room. to rent a 2 bedroom apartment with living room and kitchen would cost around $2000 to $3000. granted most landlords do not require you to pay 6 months rent immediately, but you do need to sign a contract to commit at least 6 months (or 1 year depending on the landlord). renting is pretty feasible if you can get a few roommates, which is why most foreigners prefer to rent, but citizens prefer to buy because if you’re going to stay permanently, its more logical to buy since you can still get back money if you sell the place.

  138. must be a new fad, #YouMoveYou

  139. I’m an American in my early 20s. I’m currently living with my dad and am finishing college. I feel like a lot of people my age are either trying to move out soon or would really like to move out and be independent. Usually once people finish college, in my experience, they are expected to move out as soon as possible. This has been changing since the economy went south, but the stigma of being a free loader still mooching off your parents is still there. Personally, my dad’s cool with me staying at home rent free for as long as I want. I don’t really feel much of a desire to move out until I get married or something. It just seems more financially sound in the current climate to stay until I have a guaranteed roommate.

  140. My parents are from northern India and it’s seen as the girls stay with the parents until they get married and the boys pretty much stay with the parents even after they get married so they can take care of the parents. Its kind of normal, but I want to leave as soon as possible and I hate the idea of marriage, but sadly I’m still in university and i don’t have a job…..

  141. Don’t have you hopes to high on Sweden!
    When we study we got a smaller amount from the government, however,
    this amount is not enough for rent, bills etc. It’s only enough to
    cover food, phone bills, bus cards & smaller necessities. In
    order to have enough money you’ll need to take a “study-loan”
    from the government or get a part-time job.

    Which brings us o the next topic; jobs.
    Most employers are looking employees with an exam, a few years of
    working experience & preferable newly graduated…. How the
    heck??? Even jobs within the phone marketing are looking for people
    with prior YEARS of working experience. It’s a vicious circle! And
    many people whom should have retired are still working which doesn’t
    make it easier to get a job. There are a lot of young people whom
    study because they can’t find work but they would like to work, if
    they could find a job that is. Which means they take even more loans
    because the take study-loans in order to stay alive.

    Now, what about housing you wonder.
    There are a lot of areas/houses built for students with lower rent &
    some even have rent-free two months each year (during summer). Which
    is great but the problem is that it is not nearly enough of these
    kinds of apartments to house most students. Many students rent a
    bigger flat & get flatmates which is great. To rent a regular
    apartment you either have to have a full-time job/ pay a few months
    pay in advance or have a person who can pay the rent for you if money
    would be thight. But, regular apartments are no easy to get because
    of the high demand of families & working people. So many new
    apartments are being build as we speak, right? NOT! The apartments
    being build today are apartments you have to buy, which means you
    either have to get a loan at the bank or win the lottery. But there
    is an even better thing happening around the country; apartments that
    are being rented are being made into apartments you have to buy which
    is happening to my house, I might be out on the streets in a few
    months & I still have one more term before I graduate, kinda

    Yes, we might have IKEA but we don’t
    have he apartments to put our furniture in.

    Welcome to Sweden!

  142. i do think this is prominent in asian countries because of filial piety

  143. I am portuguese and for us it is normal to live with your parents until you can afford to move out, and even when you can they preffer that you stay and save some money. Parents want to be sure that they raised you the best way they can, and that also includes paying your university fees, and rent if you move to study in another city. Of course they won’t tolerate that you waste money or that you live like if it was a hotel. I always did my part on the household and I cook for my family. Even when you leave the house they don’t want you to move far away. Family is the most important thing to us, in general society isn’t that obsessed with independence and individuality, why should you live alone if you can live with your family, unless you are starting your own little family?

    On the other hand I lived in Germany and never understood the way thinks work. Parents do everything for the children, and until they leave the house they often treated like little royalities, but once thy turned 18 and left the house the parents kinda wash their hands and barely help their children. It is like the parents assume their part is done and for the children it also really natural. If there is someone german can you please explain me? Maybe I am just assuming things in a wrong way.

  144. I’m definitely from a similar area that had the same stigma that Martina and Simon grew up with. I lived at home until I was 23, not paying rent, but paying off my student loans. After my student loans were paid off, I moved out the very next month. There was really a lot of embarrassment to be like, “Yeah, come over, I still …. live … with my parents.” I never had anyone say anything, especially given that so many people in their 20s live at home even in the States, because you can’t find a good enough job to move out. But there was definitely an element of shame toward it.

    And once I had my first job at 14, my parents never paid for any random crap I wanted either, outside of birthdays and stuff.

  145. This topic reminds me of that girl who was ranting about her Chinese college classmate about her parents bringing her food and them visiting her ~ it was, that video was just ugly, She seems so ignorant that it came across as her being racist.
    I remember there were a lot of Asian youtubers that responded to that vid.

    I think it’s look cool being able to live off your own and be independent but I genuinely love how Asians and some European countries are Family oriented.

    I don’t see anything weird in it, I find it really sweet that your close with your family. You know, you need your family around..what’s so wrong about that.

  146. I live in North America, but my mother is from Taiwan. I have grown up much like the way you describe the S.Korean way. Maybe it’s an Asian culture thing? Although I don’t live at home, my parents own my car, pay for my insurance, and pay for my credit card. As you both mentioned in the video, there is a stigma about your parents supporting you. Therefore, I really don’t tell people any of those details. Especially since most of my friends are completely independent because their parents can’t or won’t support them, and I’d feel bad mentioning it.

  147. I think I must be the extreme opposite. I’m from america and my dad was in the airforce, so we never stayed in one place longer than a handful of years. I knew and wanted to be from an early age independent from my parents. I started working part time at fifteen and have paid for myself from then on.

    My mom and I always talk about my friends and how much they rely on their parents to pay for college and my roommates’ parents pay for their rent, and it drives me crazy. To me its not because they don’t pay for themselves, it more that they don’t understand how many hours I put in in order to keep a 4.0 and work 40 hour a weeks at my job. Plus all those spoiled princess sorority types drive me bonkers.

    Its silly too, in this day and age to criticize too harshly the families that encourage independence. Independence doesn’t mean estrangement. I talk to my parents and brother and sisters all the time. Only… not during finals.

    Which reminds me… I was writing a paper. Love your videos!

  148. In the Czech Republic, things are more family-togetherness-oriented, I’d say. Until about 1940 (WW2 changed a lot), it was normal to live with your parents and basically be a helping hand to them until you get married. The woman’s side of the family had to dish out a lot of money for a wedding, a place for the newlyweds to live and who knows what more (I might be wrong here, I’m not very educated in this subject). The parents (probably of the wife, idk) would live with the married couple in a special room exactly for that purpose. Every house had a room for the elderly parents to live, with the married couple and their children.

    These days, when you move out is basically when you go to university (if you do). Education is for free, so you’re just paying for a dormitory room or an apartment you live in with friends, so you come visit your parents about once a month, more often if your university is closer to your hometown. This is sort of preparation for moving out since parents get to still see you sometimes. After you get a job, you’re expected to be completely independent and help your parents out financially at least. This doesn’t happen much, the parents get left alone in their old age and they have to fend for themselves in the city. Countryside folk still take care of their grandmas. :) Basically, at 18 your parents are itching to kick you out of the house. For people who finish their education with a high school diploma though, it is far more acceptable to stay with your parents because you just don’t have the money to move out. After let’s say 25 or 28, if you say you live with your parents, people will automatically assume you can’t cook and do your own laundry (so you have mommy do everything for you) and… you’re just a weirdo. It seems that mostly young men prefer to stay at home, since they get to live in a clean environment with someone cooking for them (gender roles are strong over here). It’s also becoming normal to live with your boyfriend/girlfriend after you turn 18.

  149. My sister lived 10yrs in China before moving to Australia (we’re Chinese, but we currently live in Australia) and she just got a part time job, even though she’s 23yrs old. I always cringe at the fact that she spends our parents’ money on designer bags, makeup, etc, and instead, saves the money she earns.
    But it’s probably because she grew up in China, while I grew up in Australia, so there’s a slight difference, I guess.

  150. 20 here in America. There’s DEFINITELY that stigma of being an individual on your own. I still live at home and attend college which is 10 minutes away from me, it makes no sense for me to move out when my school is within walking distance. I also stay and care for my younger siblings/house work while my mother works. Whenever I’m asked “Where do you live?” and I respond with “At home with family.” it’s like I’m being publicly shamed or something. I think America is super focused on getting things done as quickly and efficiently as possible. Then its a total culture shock when I talk with friends who live in Southeast Asia who are all in their late 20′s nearly 30 and still live at home and its no big deal.

  151. I’m Chinese American living in the United States so it’s kind of a mix of two cultures. My parents paid for my tuition and, yes, even a car so that I would have no excuses when it comes to doing well in school. They wanted me to focus 100% on school rather than get a part-time job to pay for tuition. I also get a feeling that my parents felt it is their duty to support me until I can take care of myself. When my classmates complained about student loans it would get awkward and I end up looking like I’m spoiled. Now that I’ve graduated, my parents still haven’t pushed me to move out because they want me to save up enough money. As for me, I’m more American in that I want to be more independent. I started working recently and I’ve started to pay them back for the car and look for a place of my own. Sadly, when I tell my co-workers I still live at home, there is definitely a “look.”

  152. I’m American, but ma parents are Pakistani, so we usually follow their way of doing things. I’d say the idea of living with your parents and having them support you till you’re married is very, very common back home. Parents pay for weddings, and even if a child works it’s not their responsibility to pay for rent or food. After marriage however, the role switches. There is no concept of nursing or retirement home in Pakistan, they find it very disrespectful for a child to send their parents to a nursing home. Generally, once all the children are married, the parents switch around and live with each of their children.

  153. Elizabeth

    In the United States you’re basically suppose to move out as fast as possible but in Mexican culture its quite different. In Mexican culture children tend to stay with their parents, especially girls, until they get married or can afford live on their own. Children after some time are expected to contribute something to their parents whether it be paying some house bills or doing chores. So from the Mexican point of view its acceptable to stay with your parents for a while but Americans tend to look down on you if you still live with your parents. For the most part Mexican parents, especially moms, don’t want you to leave and it’s the children that want to become independent since our families don’t really pressure us to leave unless we’re like 35!

  154. Lasse Aa Liltved

    Hey, I am a Norwegian teenager, and one time I wanted to talk with my parents about getting “Ukelønn” which means weekly money (or sometimes ones a month.) Beforehand I took a little test on people in my class and asked them if they got fixed income regularly. 60% got regularly money one time a moth ore one time a week.
    Those other got money if they needed it, but not if they neded overwhelming much (like for a PS4 ore a big TV), then they (of course) had to work for the money themelf.

    If the numbers I found online is true, then an average 16 year old person (in Norway) gets 216 kr a week (44554.46 KRW and/or 37.51 USD.) That’s really much, but Norway is one of the most expensive country’s (you know that after your Norwegian tour, where I sadly didn’t get to see you.)

    I just have to add that the other age groups around 16 (14,15, 17 and 18) get around 50% less than the number I showed earlier for the 16 year old. Apparently, 16 year old’s get very much compared to the other age group around their age.

  155. After this segment I’m starting to rethink my approach to independence (or lack of it). I’m a 19 year old uni student (in Australia) who goes to school once a week, have no job and just free loading off my parents. I don’t even do well in school and I spend my days watching television or just lounging around my house doing nothing (I don’t even have friends). I don’t even help my mother with chores!! This really helped me open my eyes, I was in denial for so long, but reading all these stories really woke me up. Thank you.

  156. You forgot to mention the idea of Confucianism.
    While it’s less common now, traditionally Korean wives moved into their in-law’s place with her husband.
    It was so that she could take care of the elderly while the husband works.
    This system has been really problematic because it’s a lot of burden for the wife,
    plus Korean mother-in-laws are quite bossy. Also because it sucks when you don’t have any sons.
    That’s why conservative Korean families preferred sons; they -ehem their wives – take care of the elders.

  157. I’m Italian and here it’s quite common for people to live with their parents until they are 26-27 years old if students, 23-24 if not, and I know people in their thirties still living at home! Most of my friends live with their parents, and it’s not at all a big deal.
    Most people usually wait until they have a permanent job before moving out, because the turnover here is almost non-existent (though the government has been working – with hardly any result – on that), and if you lose your job or your contract ends it’s very difficult to find another job. Moreover, even with a degree and a decent job it’s very difficult to live on your own because it’s actually quite expensive, and not a lot of people can afford it, so I have friends that are considering moving out only because they are in a relationship and both of them work, but my friends who are single are still living with their parents, even if they have a permanent job. I think it’s just a cultural thing: unless you have some kind of issue with your parents, you stay at home until you can move out with your significant other; I actually asked some of my older friends that could afford living on their own, and they just answered: why would I do that? I am fine living with my parents, I don’t do laundry and I don’t cook.
    Moreover, I think that here university and school in general are taken less seriously: it’s not uncommon to be late with your studies, to an average of 6 months to an year, and sometimes more. It’s just more relaxed, losing one or two years in your studies is not that big of a deal. OF COURSE HERE I AM MAKING A GENERAL STATEMENT, there are people who are in time and have perfect grades and all that jazz, BUT they are still 25 and still living with their parents, because that’s just the reality of things for graduates in Italy.

  158. I live in Brazil but my upbringing is a little different since my mum is from the Philippines and my dad is brazilian. Here in Brazil you are expected to move out a soon as you made it into university (mostly because it’s in another city), however you are not expected to be financially independent. Here we have two kinds of unis the Public one which is free because it belongs to the goverment, and the Private one which you have to pay for, the tuition is payed every MONTH not semester, oh, and it’s very expensive and not considered to be as good education as a public uni. So people try to get into the Public ones but it could take them YEARS. The system here is so bad that when a highschool graduate takes the entrance exams they usually never make the cut. This is because public education here is rubbish and so when people try to get into the public unis (which are the best I know it’s weird) they have to retake the entrance exams over and over again until they get in. I have met people that are 25 and can’t make it into uni because of the ridiculous test they put you through. So here it’s OK to still be living with your parents in you’re 20s if you’re still trying for uni. Once you do, you are expected to find a part time job but your parents will still for the most part send you some money, sort of like an allowance because it’s very difficult to make it on your own here. My mother being from the philippines says that there, by age 21 you should be financially independent, it even shows up on their taxes or something like that. You are not on there list as dependent individual. So your parents will not have a discount on their taxes because they don’t have to support you anymore (of course I might be wrong about that part, since I have never lived there and this is just my mum’s saying). I can say for myself that I have been brought up to want financial independence and that my deadline to do so was by the time I truned 21. I have friends that like me have already moved out and are financially independent however I have some friends that have moved out but are still relying on their parents for money. The story after you graduate uni is different though, some people might move back in with their parents and only leave after they get married, others will move back in only until they find a full time job and some won’t because they got it going. Of course this is very generalized and some brazilians might have a totally different experience.

  159. Susie

    Wow, watching this really makes me feel like things are “clicking” inside my head.

    I was born in Korea to Korean parents (who are very traditional), but have lived in Australia all my life. So I can say that while I live in a country that “stigmatizes” still living with your parents when you should be getting more independent, my parents have always told me to stay at home. Rather than a “Plz don’t go we luvluvluv you!!!” point of view, it’s really more of a “Pfft, support yourself? You’re only a uni student with a part-time job. Your main job is to study. Just stay home, or you’ll come to regret it later.”

    Yes, it’s in my best interest but at times, I feel like it can be counteractive against what I want to do with my life sometimes. I love them and all, but it really makes me doubt myself in this crucial time of my life. Like… the world looks scarier? > <

    I mean, ever since my last birthday, I always have several epiphanies per day where I go, "SHIT. I'M TURNING 20 IN DECEMBER. WHAT. DO." … ugh.

  160. I live in Kansas, USA. We have this one really AWESOME Chinese Restaurant here. It is in the north east part, really close to Kansas City, in the city of Olathe, KS. They are known for making their own hand made long Chinese noodles. They have been here over twenty years. It is called Iron Horse here is their website: http://ironhorsechinese.blogspot.com/ . They have really good and authentic Ja Jang Myum 炸醬拉麵 (Beef and black bean sauce with hand-made noodle). It is a real Chinese dish and is awesome! I learned about it form my teacher I was taking wing chun from and he is like 80 and from Hong Kong and this is the only place he will go when he wants Chinese food. I personally love their salt and pepper squid and lotus leaf rice and the the Ja Jang Myum but really everything they make there is hands down the best. I think it is the only Chinese restaurant in the Midwest makes their own noodles everyday.

    If you guys ever want to do a road trip to Kansas Let me know and I’d be happy to take you guys out to Iron Horse, or http://www.fogodechao.com/ if you want to eat so much meat that you could explode or just a really good steak place. Let me know.


  161. Erika Kalkofen

    With the current economic downturn, I think the stigma in America is no longer that strong. I will be graduating this May and still have not landed a job, but I and many of my friends are in similar situations and often talk about how we will live with our parents for a few years until we (and the economy) is stable. And this is totally fine: many American students have started doing the same or at least getting some form of assistance from their parents. But I definitely don’t have access to my parents cards and when I move back I am expected to help around the house (almost like a renter), so its a bit different from Korean “freeloaders”

  162. MarVi

    In where I’m from, people tend to be independently-dependent. Right after the students graduate, they will move out and find their own place, and getting married right away. It seems to be a trend to start a family at the youngest age possible, most don’t even go to university; they skip finishing their education to raise their kids.

  163. I’m Arab American, and Arabs have a very similar mind set as Korea. The majority of Arabs tend to stay with their parents until they get married. Arabs are a family-oriented society, so living at home and keeping close ties with children is definitely necessary. Many Arabs also tend to commute to their college or university showing the protectiveness of parents. Also, Arabs in general, especially the girls, tend to get married pretty early so it’s not that much of a hassle to live with their parents if they get married early. Arabs tend to care a lot about seeing their children succeed and they are willing to house, feed, and pay for any expenses that create that success. Also, because I live in America I can contrast the American style of upbringing with the foreign style– consensus: people with foreign parents tend to lean in favor of living at home until marriage or paying for tuition, etc than American parents.

  164. Brasil – people usually live with their parents until they’re married.

  165. In Chile it’s very normal for students to stay with parents until they finish university unless you’re from like the countryside and want to study in the capital, it’s hard to find part time jobs when at least here university is very demanding. For example my sister is turning 24 this year and she lives with us (i just turned 18) and next year she’ll do a master in belgium that my dad is paying for now until she starts earning money and will give the money back. The same will happen with my other sister and I. Unless you get a student loan (that’ll make in debt for like 15 years) they only way you can pay uni by yourself would be with a scholarship but with like the top 3 unis here dont hav them unless you’re part of the the worst 20% in terms of money.

  166. I think it’s a North American/Canadian thing. My parents wouldn’t even allow me to get a job unless I saved 50% of my money to put towards university later.

  167. Caitlin Martina Byrnes
    Caitlin Martina Byrnes

    I’d be really interested in knowing the repercussions and after-effects this type of culture and economy has had on Korean youth. For example, I have around 20 cousins (just counting the ones who live an hour or less away!) and four brothers and sisters, so when I was younger I always envisioned myself with a huge family of five or more children. But with the economy the way that it is(I live in America), and seeing how even public playgrounds can’t be trusted to be safe anymore (there has been a recent scare where people are finding razor blades glued to monkey bars and slides) I’ve been thinking of having a maximum of two kids, or maybe just being a foster parent. I wonder how Korea’s own changes, social, political and economic have molded the way of thinking for young Koreans.

  168. KATHyphenTUN

    Haha my mom always says “You know you are always welcome at home for as long as you want!… Until you know… your like 30… then please leave…” XD It’s always been our little joke.
    I know my boyfriend’s older siblings (Taiwanese family) still live at home, while they are approaching their 30s, with no plans to leave anytime soon. My boyfriend has talked with his parents saying he will be leaving with me (when we complete university), but they make it seem like he is far to young to leave. It found has be a little weird/awkward sometimes mixing two traditions, and working around those stigmas you guise mentioned.

  169. I’m from the US (Michigan) and I’m not sure what the position on being independent is lol Everyone in my family have either stayed living with their parents (even raising children under their parents’ roof) or move away (but still call up mom and pop for money). I am the opposite. I live in an apartment for college (rent is $633, never asked anyone for a red cent for school or living) and enjoy the independence that I have. I’ve recently learned that my family talk about my with high praise and are looking forward to my success which I’m grateful for. But it’s all hypocritical; I’m doing what their kids aren’t, what past generations have never been able to do and sometime I feel like I’m doing it out of something to prove.

  170. In Germany, both “versions” are possible. Many young people move out after their graduation to be independent and it’s either their parents or the government (if the parents’ wages are too low) who pay for the living expenses – you have to pay the government back of course after you’ve finished studying. It’s also natural to have some kind of side job to support yourself. But, especially in rural areas, children tend to stay at their parents’ house – sometimes they get their own flat in their parents’ house – or they are only moving a few blocks away or to the next town.
    Personally, I think it’s important to experience living alone/leaving home because you learn how to put money aside, cook, clean, go grocery shopping, … :D

  171. My family half and half- we’re Hispanic, but have been in the U.S. for about 3 generations so quite Americanized. Elders (grandparents, uncle) move in when they needed help being cared for, and my sister left after starting a family of her own since the house was running out of room. I however left for university very quickly. My husband bucked tradition and left home with no intentions of moving back in (partially cause he doesn’t want to live in India) though in Indian families, the son stays with the parents to help care for them. We both believe in being independent once you move out, so we never consider asking our parents for financial assistance.
    Funny story- a Mexican wives’ tale says that if you plant a chili pepper plant in your front yard, your daughters will marry but not leave the home. My mom planted one anyway cause it looked pretty and who would believe in such a thing? Sure enough my sister married, but her husband was deployed to Iraq and she didn’t leave home. My mom ripped that bush out before I even finished high school :-)

  172. I’m originally from Germany and my mum always told me that they’ll kick me out if I still live with them at 24. So yeah, no freeloading there, but my family might be a bit radical about it.

  173. There were a few home buying shows on hgtv in the US. It stands for home and garden television. My house, your money was the series. Almost everyone was a first generation immigrant and the parents had a hard time with their son or daughter leaving home before marriage. They were very concerned about safety and resale and location. Actually I think the locations were mostly Canadian they were searching for homes in? On the plain vanilla house hunting shows I remember another daughter of immigrants wanting to buy her first place before getting married. She was set on 20% which lowers your monthly payment in the US. But she couldn’t afford a two bedroom condo down payment. So her parents approved of her moving out so long as she got the two bedroom and they gave her rest of the down. I was bummed for her since she really wanted to do it herself. But glad she was able to make her parents happy.

  174. What about the types of help from the government towards helping people with housing in South Korea? Also, what are welfare benefits, if any, like in South Korea? As a foreigner living in Korea, is there a certain number of years you must reside in the country before you can become eligible for said benefits?

    Here in the UK, when people as young as 16 (especially teen mums) get help from the council through ‘council housing’. Their houses are bought/constructed by the government and are available only to those eligible and a majority of their rent is paid for by the council. Young married couples in financial difficulty, contrary to popular belief, are usually top on the list (promotion of right wing family structure even if there is more potential for them to be financially stable).

    This isn’t something done for every new person on the list, the list is very long and a majority of the houses are over 30 years old. The council often buys apartments/flats in larger complexes to incorporate into the system to help house the needy on the list.

    All this said, I live in a council house with my mum and she very nearly did not manage to get a 3 bedroom house despite having 3 kids, I sleep in the no-bedroom dining room. A lot of people I know, who have parents with better jobs stay/are staying with their parents but due to the recent increase in compulsory education length (by 2 years), less teenagers are eager to move out and anyone financially stable has the common sense to stay at home and save for somewhere decent to live or go to university.

    I would expect somewhere like South Korea to have some kind of housing association like here in the UK but it sounds very different. As a member of the UK, coming from a working class single parent family, I feel that my family rely on state welfare to survive, it seems so odd that housing needs and healthcare are rarely covered for those in need in other cultures but I understand that my country is already deep in debt due to it all.

    This probably didn’t make much sense since it’s dependent on UK culture and I’m no expert, I’m only 18 myself.
    This comment is a lot longer than I expected it to become.

    • I am curious about this too. I hear a lot about how the government funds the arts as a way to boost the economy. So I wondered how much health care, meal plans, housing, etc are helped by the government. I know there are smaller scaled version of ‘council housing’ in the US. For example in Utah they are giving apartments to the homeless, people in Camden (the worst city in the world) get super cheap housing, but these things are funded from state to state or private donators.

  175. FancyJude

    A year ago, I wouldn’t have understood this TL;DR, but now that I’m a high school senior about to go off for college… the struggle is real. This family-oriented mentality pervades a lot of Asian culture, not just Korea. I’m Chinese-American, born and raised in SoCal, so many of my goals and dreams align with North American expectations to be my own independent adult. However, it’s kind of hard to do that when my traditional family sees me growing up as abandoning them. Don’t get me wrong; I love my family, but I just find the idea of finally depending on nobody but myself kind of liberating, not daunting at all. But alas, as college decision day (May 1st!!!) looms closer, I have to admit that being independent is hella friggin’ expensive! My job pays above minimum wage, but it’s still not enough because of tuition spikes, cost of living, gas, etc. I’m starting to see that it’s OK to continue living with my family. But from this TL;DR, I’m going to make sure that I get on my feet as fast and sturdy as I can and to never start taking my family for granted.

  176. It’s interesting, because my mother is from the Philippines and my dad is American. My mother is all about helping to support her children through college and wanting me to come stay at home, but my dad, who actually makes the money, makes us feel like a disappointment that we have to rely on our parents to get through college.

    But in today’s economy, when college graduates can be happy just to find a job as a secretary in some small business because at least it’s a job, more and more students/graduates are having to move back in with their parents.

  177. That’s a bit of a complicated question for me. I’m first generation Chinese-Vietnamese American, so my parents want to keep me home as long as possible, but the US, just like Canada has a stigma against living with your parents (which I don’t really give a shit about because…I prefer my Chinese and Vietnamese culture/traditions over American ones)

    Also, jjajangmyun IS Chinese. It’s called 醡醬麵 or zhajiangmian in Chinese. It’s apart of Beijing cuisine. And my grandmother who lived in China for 50+ years confirmed it. So there!

  178. Being in the US, we of course leave home as soon as we can, but we will move back home when we need to regroup. Like we’ve lost a job and have to start over, that sort of thing. Its not so bad if a family moves back in with the parents, but a single person still living with their parents and the parents aren’t like medically needy, then we look at them funny. But I’ve noticed in Korean family dramas, there is such an emphasis on being a good son or daughter that sometimes moving out is seen as abandoning your family. I know one story where the fact that the son wasn’t living at home was seen as a demerit to his prospects as a good husband. I was aghast when I watched “1% of Anything” where the 28 year old daughter was still seen as a child and that her parents had every right to confiscate her phone and ground her because they didn’t like her choice in boyfriend AND SHE HANDED IT OVER! now I realize, yes, its a drama, and not a real life story, but you wouldn’t see that sort of stuff in an American story. The 28 year old kid would have got sassy and left. It just seems to me that many countries have different ideas of when kids really become adults and what it means to be a good son or daughter in relation to family relationships.

  179. sunnyhill

    I’m from Poland, 27 years old and still living with my parents. I wanted to move out long time ago, but the cost of living is too high in comparison to my earnings, I wouldn’t be able to pay all the bills. And another thing: we live in a house, not in a flat, and this makes it more convenient. I have enough space to not to disturb my parents vice versa. Another thing is, that I barely have any contact with people at work and when I come back home I really enjoy chit-chats with my mom. I also thought about living together with friends, but I wouldn’t feel free with other people, that are not my parents or boyfriend. I’m not good at being friendly :P

    I would go crazy if I had to come back to an empty flat from an empty office. FOREVER ALONE :O

    But there are also exceptions, like in the family of my brother’s girlfriend. As she turned 18 her parents said they don’t have to provide for her, even though she haven’t finished high school yet and she receives only a small pension because of a serious car accident and not every job is suitable for her because of her health problems.

  180. I think it is great that you covered this! I remember watching My Sassy Girl with my husband and his first reaction was “How old is this guy? Why is he living with his parents?” I have to explain it wasn’t as weird to live with your parents, although he probably (at the time) starting to reach the “you’re pushing it” point in Korea.

    Being someone who lives in two different rich areas, I would have to say there is a lot more “mooching” going on in the areas I live in. I know a lot of teenagers who have credit cards for their parents, and will have full access to money until after college. That is usually when the cord is cut, and if not, a lot of people are embarrassed about it. I have friends who are embarrassed to admit that family helped pay for college. I think the general view is that parents help build a “nest egg” for when you move out, and therefore parents have less qualms about yelling at people for mooching. (at least in my area)

    And I think it is worth noting that there was the joke on Dal Ja’s Spring that she had money saved up for her potential wedding, and it was something every single 30 year woman would do. So there are some people who are paying for the wedding and is represented in mainstream culture.

    • It also just occurred to me that credit and debt might be viewed differently and affect people’s views. I remember reading an article in the Economist saying that there is a big stigma in Korea about having debt, thus creating unrealistic standards. In the US I get a lot of people who don’t think it is big deal if I charged part of my down payment for a house on a credit card, which it should be. A lot of people pay for their big weddings on credit, and therefore go into debt. I feel that if renting in the US required a big down payment in the 10,000 range, people would just charge it to a card and slowly pay it off.

  181. My personal experience is when I was young my parents gave
    me pocket money for which I had to do certain jobs around the house for, if I
    didn’t do the job I didn’t get paid it was that simple, this was in my parents
    eyes a way of teaching me financial responsibility.

    When I got my first job I still lived at home however I now
    paid board which covered my room laundry and food; if I borrowed money from my
    parents it had to be paid back with interest.

    I think western culture emphasises the need to make your own
    way in life and in the past decades this created the idea of people getting
    married in their early twenties and moving out of their parents (if they hadn’t
    already done so) and their parents having a second honeymoon in their forties
    or early fifties while they could still enjoy an active lifestyle.

  182. Amyaco

    Guysss, you should do a video about trot music!!

  183. Carolynn

    I lived at home when I went to college. After college, I moved out, worked in fast food for two years (could not find a degree with my job) and then moved to work at ANOTHER college (not attend, work, making cheeseburgers in the food court) for two years. After that I could not take it anymore. I moved home for one year before meeting my husband and, obviously, moving in with him. I did pay rent when I moved home, but it was not much (150$) because my parents knew I was only working part time (at a call center at that point) I now run my own business and own a home with my husband! Whee!

  184. Here in dubai we never move out of our parent’s house even if we are 40 years old until we get married. We usually don’t live in apartments, because they are expensive, and because the government give each and every native Emirati male a free land to build his house on. Some married men even though they have a land, never move out if their parent’s house if it is big and fits their family and the parents (because who would care for the old parents if they are alone). When a girl get married, she moves to her husband’s house, or if he still doesn’t have a house, she moves in in his parent’s house. So basically if a female does not get married she never moves out, and males may move out if they have the money to build their own house, but one of the sons have to take care of his parents (if no un-married daughter remains with them). My grandmother (father side) lives with us, my 3 aunts (mother side) never got married and they live together in my grandparents house with my married uncle.

  185. I told my parents that when I go to study most likely I’ll have to move out and get a place closer to uni. What they answer back: “No you’re not, we’ll come with you, the whole family will move closer.” Me: 0___0

  186. Saudi Arabia is family oriented too and some will live with their families even if they got married but it’s expected from them to share their income with all the members of the family specially the parents (which usually given an allowance per month from their sons and daughters whose working and have stable jobs) it’s very shameful to live with you parents without paying and sharing your income or at least helping in living expenses. Also, the parents should never left alone with they got old at least one of their sons or daughters families should live with them to take care of them. It’s like the saying “they take care of you when you are young so you should take care of them when they got old”.
    As for real estate, we almost never pay a deposit and the rental fee is very cheap, for example an apartment of 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms plus 2 guest room and 1 living room usually goes for $400-520 per month and the education is free from elementary to collage and some universities pays an allowance to the student “around $260″ if you are lucky and accepted there if not your only option is to inter private universities and the fee usually paid by parents unless the students want to be independent and apply for part time jobs so they won’t be a burden on their parents.

  187. As for my situation, i live in a “devolped” city in Mexico(it varies depend if it is a city or town), here its normal for people around their 20 even to their 30′s still live with their parents because that’s is still the age in wich you are supposedly studying in university or starting to working. Another thing that have to be consider here in Mexico, well at least in my city, there is not much market for apartments, i mean there are but not so many…thats because here when you have a well set job, they will give you a benefit wich is called “Infonavit”, that is basically a aid to you giving by your work to start saving for a house (is like a tax, but when you start working part of your paid goes to this found and can help you in a future when you wanna buy a house, is like a deposit kind of way). Most of the people in my city “owns” a house instead of a apartment because is more easier to buy thanks to that benefit. So its ok for people still leaving with their parents IF they dont have a job & enough savings. As for my case, im 18 & still studying with not job so no pressure to me to move out:) So you can resume, if you dont have a well set job it’s ok to stay with your parents, BUT if you’ve got a job that gives you that benefit and can start to saving to buy a house, you better start looking for something before your parents start to give you looks.-.

  188. In Portugal things have changed in the last years because of the European generalized financial crisis when it comes to this subject. 10+ years ago I believe that being independent from your parents, getting a job and your own place was what was considered to be the best way to act (and the most common one too) once you reached majority of age or finished college (and even through college, I’ve only known a handful of people who had part-times to help with college expenses, parents either pay for college or financially-incapable people can pay for college with social funds). Nowadays things have changed a bit. Unemployment levels are high (supposedly decreasing, but still high, especially for young people) and people with college degrees are also finding it very VERY hard to get a job that actually suits what they’ve studied their buts off for. Hence, they stay at home with their parents so that they have the means to try and find a job that actually suits them and what they studied for (or in dire cases, try to find a job at all) and while that is still not seen with very good eyes it’s like “it’s not like there is a real alternative right?”. That and if they do find a job, people sometimes stay with their parents anyway because of rising prices of renting houses/apartments, food, etc., but in that case they do share expenses with them (it’s a matter of pride and principle, I think). Freeloaders like the ones you’ve described would be pretty much kicked out. On the other hand, lots of people are emigrating to escape unemployment and actually work in an area that’s related to their studies (I say this because I’l be graduating from my Integrated Master in Bioengineering this year and my chances of getting a decent job or scholarship to work to get a PhD at Portugal are not as great as they should, not because I don’t have a good curriculum and course average – because I do – but because the number of opportunities is low). So overall, I think we have a bit of everything here. On a final note, this is a very interesting subject, thanks for the great TLDR.

  189. I’m from Israel, and here it is not common to live with the parents after finding a job or after graduation. Kids live with their parents mostly until they finish serving in the army, and if they go to the university afterwards they might rent a very cheap apartment with roommates. Buying apartments in a city that has job opportunities is very expensive, and most of the residents rent apartments instead. For example me and my parents moved here 18 years ago and they still rent an apartment.

  190. I’m from the US and I kind of got the shivers from all this talk of mooching off of parents. It’s normal for parents to pay for college here, but in my family, we have an unspoken agreement that my sister and I will support our parents and pay back how much it took to raise us over time. This is part of my motivation to get a high-paying job in the future. I love orthodontia as a job, but I could also provide for my parents and my handicapped brothers so my parents can retire. It seems like super long dependence on parents makes them have to work until they are very old and have a very short retirement before they die. I could never do that to my parents.

  191. In Croatia the situation is like this:
    If you live in the capital, Zagreb, or other big cities, you’re probably going to live with your parents until you graduate, at which point you’ll hopefully get a job and start looking for a place of your own. And there’s no shame in that. Although you could get a job while studying, but most universities don’t leave you much free time, and student jobs’ wages are rarely enough to afford the rent. Of course there are those who would rather live in the comfort of their parents’ house forever, but they are somewhat looked down upon. I think, generally, for most people there is a strong desire to move out as soon as possible and become independent, myself included.
    Now, if you live outside of bigger cities, you’ll become independent much sooner, at the age of 18 when university starts, because all the universities are located in Zagreb, and maybe a few in two other cities. This means those students don’t really have choice. They either find a small apartment and share the rent with a roommate or, if their parents don’t have a lot of money, they apply for a room at a student dorm, in which case you get a very small room and 3 meals a day for free.

  192. What do college students usually do in Korea? I heard that it is popular to study abroad, but do those that study in Korea stay in dorms or live with their parents while they study?

  193. I’m from Georgia, and I go to a school where the majority of families aren’t necessarily wealthy, but they aren’t exactly struggling either. Most of the people that I know are eager to get jobs and be more independent not because they necessarily need to, but because they feel guilty about relying on their parents for money to do things like buying new clothes or going out to the movies. While there’s no reason that these kids have to get a job, there’s a bit of guilt that comes along with taking help from your parents after a certain point.

  194. In Sweden we move out quite early I think. It is rather easy to get some sort of apartment or place to live, and it doesn’t have to cost much. We also have very beneficial loans and we can get money from the state to get enough money for a place to stay… It is considered sort of weird to be living long with you parents and you would definitely have to pay your parents if you are staying at home. So I guess our system is close to North America’s system!

    • I also forgot to mention that studying in Sweden is free so you don’t have to pay any money for the education (only the books for the course)

  195. C. Snoopy

    I’m mexican-american and when I moved out to go to college my parents were against it. They almost didn’t let me go, but they were kind of forced to by my teachers. LOL. Anyway, women in mexican culture usually stay at home until they get married and men can also live at home but they must have a job. All in all, the children move out when they get married. I would say anything older than 30 years old, the parents will be telling you to get married or get out of their house. Free-loading is frowned upon in our culture. Being independent is not something women are supposed to do in our culture, but considering how women are view now, its slowly starting to be accepted. Mexican culture is very “machismo” (sense of strong masculinity) so men are viewed as the ones that take charge, which is why isn’t difficult for women to be independent. I had to deal with this difficulty. My parents were against me moving to go to college and it was a constant battle that summer before I left. I am very independent and only rely on my parents if I must. I do take up their offers when they want to help, but I don’t like asking them for anything, even though I know as a women, they will provide me with whatever they can help me with. I have very different views from my parents because I am first-generation Mexican-American.

  196. curiously enough while I was in college in the US I was loan free, debt free , I went to a private college who had a wonderful scholarship program and they covered everything that the government didn’t. I had credit cards because I wanted to build up loan credit (it was usually 20-40 dollar monthly bill). But most of the money I used day to day was from day jobs (student aid jobs around campus) and my tips and wages from waitressing at a local restaurant.
    I didn’t live on campus, though the school offered to pay those too, but it didn’t make sense to my family since we were five miles away from the college, which means in ten minutes I was on campus. BUT I was expected by my parents to give them 70% of my pay and tips to them to help out sort of like a monthly rent for utilities and stuff.

    That’s why when I decided to leave the US to study medicine I pretty much just transplanted my life without worrying about loans and bills. However since living in Mexico it’s like I de-evolved hah. My bills are now paid by my parents because being a medical school student here in Mexico it’s hard to find a part time job that is accessible even Starbuck ( TT_TT) rejected me because they have a no med-student policy because of crazy school hours. So at first I spent some of my savings and now I smooch off of my parents and even my grandparents (they are too nice) since they are paying for my bills. I feel sorry to them, but I can’t work in any night job here in Merida since everybody knows everybody and having a night job= you’re a prostitute, (since a lot of the better/ more respectable restaurants close pretty early) even if you’re not, so as medical school student it’s a no-no since it could become an issue for later employment. But my hours don’t allow for day jobs :/ It sometimes makes me mad since I was used to waitressing in the night shift and I as an American see nothing wrong but I have WAY too many nosy family members here that would just distort it. >_<

  197. in ROMANIA we stay with our parent’s until they kik us out:))))There is’t a rule for how long we stay with them but even if we don’t move out our parent’s make us pay for bills and food ,they don’t let you become a freeloader that’s why most young people ,even students prefer to pay rent ,to be indipendent,the averege rent here is 250 dollars for a 2 room apartment witch is even big and the deposit is of 300 dollars so it’s quite ok.

  198. I love this week’s TL;DR, because its a topic I always talk about with my friends, where I’m from, people don’t usually move out until they get married, NO MATTER HOW OLD YOU ARE. Its like “If I can get everything for free, I have no reason to move out, right?” WRONG! We always argue when we talk about it, some of us can’t wait to get a job and be independent (tho its really, really hard in my country) and the others rather go with the traditional way I guess. But I would like to know, what happens to foreign students that have No Family in Korea? Do they get jobs or something?

  199. I’m a first generation Hmong American, and in my culture family is an integral part of your life, so people tend to stick close to their family. You’ll often find that even when a son gets married they still live with their parents because they’re supposed to take care of the parents, so you’ll usually see 2-3 generations living in one household. It’s often accepted that a person doesn’t move out until they’re married. College maybe the only time you get to live away from your family because the commute is too much of a hassle.

    In my case, I’m 24 and lived at home just until recently when I decided to go back to school and moved out since it was an 1-1/2 hours away from home. Before then, my parents never pressured my to make contributions money-wise because I was (1) going to school full-time and (2) working part-time, so I was doing something with my life. I often tell my non-Asian friends that even though I’m 24 and technically an adult, I really don’t feel like an adult.

  200. I’m American so you can probably guess how things are here. I am a fresh 23 and still live with my mom and work part time. I get a lot of funny looks when I say that to people and even though I am helping out with finances and trying super hard to get on my own two feet, the longer I am out of school I get this sense of shame, almost, to still be living at home. Almost all of my friends have already moved out and are in some cases working two jobs to support that independence. I feel really stunted not to be doing that.

    And it’s not like the economy is so great that it’s easy to move out. $600 might get you a closet sized studio in a neighborhood with bars on the windows….still….I feel the stigma daily and know I need to get a move on before I get super judged.

    Anywho! This was really informative and interesting!

  201. Nia

    I’m from Spain and here it is acceptable to stay with your parents at least while you are studying, although some stay afterwards to take care of their parents, specially if they are old, or because tey don’t have a job. I’m from a very touristic area as well and rent is extremely expensive(near where I live they rent a one room apartment for 600 €), so it’s difficult to move on your own. A lot of people that move out is because they have a couple and they want their own space and the both of them have jobs.

  202. Here in Denmark, people tend to move out really early. You actually get paid to get an education (except you have to buy your own books when attending university), so you can spend that money on a cheap one-room or studio apartment, or find a roommate or two. I’d say the stigma says that if you haven’t moved out by the time you’re 25, people will see you as a freeloader. Personally, I think it gets a bit.. unusual at 23-24. I know people who moved out at 17.

  203. for men after graduation they will forced to get a job but
    also not to move out .in the other hand .a woman have no pressure to
    get a job or move out..it’s up to her

  204. In Portugal it is also as in North America, when we leave University or marry we move from ours parents house. But due to the crisis we stay at parents home longer.

  205. for men yes until. they are graduate they will forced to get a job but also not to move out .int the other hands .a woman have no pressure to get a job ..it’s up to her

  206. Tatiana

    I feel like I should talk about my experience. I apologize for the long post in advance.

    I grew up in my grandparents house. My parents were living there, me, my brother and our grandparents. Total of 6 people, yeah we had a big house. We lived there until I was about 12 or 13 and my parents decide to built they’re own house. But both our grandparents help them financially with that.
    This isn’t unique where I came from (btw I live in a village in Portugal). I knew other kids from my age with the same situation. And when my parents got their house, it’s just a 10 min walk from our grandparents. I think that’s pretty common here. We have a pretty tight family system and we all support each other.
    I’m in uni now and I have my own apartment with a housemate. Now I feel like when I get a job I don’t want to still be at my parents house, I want my own place. But still I want to live nearby, not in the same village, but in a town or something nearby. That is the ideal situation, but due to economy and high unemployment it probably won’t turn out like that.

  207. in middle east we stay with our parents until we got married or not even after that live together ..it’s accepted .. will i think we have that in common with Korean culture

  208. Here in Turkey, majority of people i know, goes to university. Most of the universities are in the big cities so when you go to university, you eventually move out. There are a lot of free universities here, they are at the majority, so you dont really pay anything for education, and universities also have dorms so most people starts going to college by staying at dorms at their first years. Than you find friends and you move out to a house. You dont go back to home after at all, because now you are an adult and probably have a job too and that job is probably not in your hometown. There are some ”student cities” that a lot of college students stay, mostly the biggest cities, so they have lower prize rent. But when you are a student, until you start to win your own money, our families support us, that is common. When you get a job though still supporting them is uncommon. Moving in your family after graduation is something soo uncommon. Even if you are not married, you dont move in. If you live once, practically you dont come back ever again. But this is something that i know, i have never lived in country side, or never had known anyone didnt go to college (at my age, close to my age) And than again i am not even a college student yet..soo.. yeah thats it.

  209. Well, I live in Mexico, here things are a lot like Korea, most of the people returns to their houses when they finish their studies, most of the people go out of their houses when they get married of when they find a job in another city. Altough this kind of situation is slowly changing, now you can find some men that go out of their houses when they turn 30, but for women is different, women still have to wait to get married.

    Besides, here is tradition that weddings are paid by the bride’s side, this means that the bride’s parents have to afford all expenses, this is also changing but really really slowly.

    I think is double, the financial situation and tradition.

  210. For my case, I live in Argentina and you can still live with your parents if you are A) studying in university (the higher education system it’s a tad different – it’s free but really tough, i.e. only 100 translators get their degree out 1000) or B) working part time jobs that you can’t earn enough money to move out (there are soooo many getting paid under the table as well). I’m 22, but I can’t seem to find a part time job that let me study as well, so I’m still living with my parents but it’s hard, we are very opinionated people xD

  211. This is a very interesting discussion. I am from the United States and I agree that there is a huge emphasis on being independent. My parents did not have much money but did their best to help us when they could–and I never felt any pressure from them to move out but my nature is such that I was eager to become independent. As soon as I started earning my own money (babysitting at 12 or 13 years old) I started buying my own clothes, books, etc. When I was in high school and college I worked part time jobs while going to school. I had to get scholarships/ loans to pay for the out of state college I went to. The loan that my parents took out to help pay for college costs is another one that I began paying back as soon as I graduated. There was a brief period after I graduated from college that I had to move back home because I couldn’t get a teaching job right away. I remember feeling ashamed/ depressed that I had to move back home even though my parents didn’t make a big deal out of it. Even during this period of time, I worked part-time jobs until I found a full-time position and then promptly moved out and got an apartment (split rent with a roommate).
    It wasn’t until my thirties when I was married and had kids of my own that I moved back into the same town as my parents. We bought our own place but my parents actually proposed putting the mortgage money towards remodeling their house and then living in it all together. I thought it was a generous gesture but I think it would have been really challenging to live together again–we have a more independent sense of family and don’t consider our parents as head of our household now that we live on our own–there would have been a lot of conflict about how to do things I imagine.
    Now, as I see my parents aging I feel like it is my responsibility to help them however I can–whether it is help maintaining their home, looking after them post surgery, or planning to take on full-time care as the need arises. I feel this responsibility because now that I am a parent too, I recognize how much work and love they put into raising us and it seems the least I can do would be to help them when they need it. That being said, I think my father would have a hard time accepting help from his children–I think it is hard for him to deal with the fact that he will need help at all (independent streak). My mother has voiced concern that my siblings and I may go the usual American route and leave the government to help. No matter how many times I reassure her that I wouldn’t abandon her like that I think that all the older people she knows who are struggling to take care of themselves scares her.

  212. Perfect timing, M&S! In the midst of moving out and this TL;DR is definitely shedding some insight into the highly emotional, culture clashed situation. I’m Chinese American, first generation born in the States, sweet spot age 18, girl..or should I say Woman? The “right time” to move out is after getting a darling degree, achieving a stable job and finding a hubbydubby. Until then, my mom insists to take care of all finances …and as long as she has a certain control over my day to day choices. However, I’m pulled by my own drive/curiosity and the culture’s shaming over that dependency and its call to get out of feeling so cushioned, to be independent, to follow my dreeeeams! However, my wanting to move out at my age is perceived so far as choosing to abandon the family, and disregarding all they’ve done for me–which I would never dream of!. My mom and her family are from the poorer countryside of China, where and when family had to stick and work together to survive. They’re scattered across China and the States now but keep in close contact, maintaining community, a sense of identity and value, via the interwebs. Family is the priority. Expect filial piety. Know you have family behind you. Security in blood. My favorite, most powerful, most vivid image of the clash btw the Western individualistic culture and family oriented cultures happened when I followed my mom back to China. The reunion with her brothers and sisters was so loud, obnoxious, hilarious and whatever else there was that held them together, I felt so estranged and lonely. Ups and downs for both indivuidualism and collectivism? Thank you so much for the post.. it truly caused an epiphany, reminding me that I consist of two cultures, that a chunk of internal conflict I’ve dealt with throughout my life has been a result of culture clash and not some individual problem. Hoping to innovate a path and integrate both sides.

  213. hapagirl

    I’m from Hawaii and it’s not uncommon to see people live with family for a long time. However the American or Western ideal of you’re an adult now, you’re suppose to be stand on your own two feet and out of the house is still here. Me and my brother are still at home, I’m 22 and he’s 19, I’m technically a freeloader because I’ve managed to not find a job and there’s no way on minimum wage could I get a apartment for myself. Damn you America, and I know I’m not the only one especially when a lot of the jobs here tend to be given to people with connections. I’m still freaking out that my parents will one day freak out and kick me out because I don’t do anything. I think it’s because it’s in Polynesian and Asian culture to stay home longer and sometimes not leave because you’re taking care of family. That said there is the sorta Kangaroo thing too that happens here, I know a house that has like 4 working adults living there with their kids who are living in a house and they don’t pay rent and the grandma does everything. I really don’t like that sorta thing,

  214. Here in the States we have “Boomerang Kids”, kids that move out to go to college, and then move back in after graduation. In fact, most of the people in my age range (20s) are in this situations, like, nationally I mean. I lucked out, my gf already had a place and a job, so I live with her. But the thing is that here in the US, there are no jobs that pay a living wage that a recent college graduate can get. So, kids get hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt going to school and then can’t get a job! So, back to mom’s they go. And yes, there is a stigma about it – newspapers and journalist LOVE to talk about how “lazy” and “entitled” my generation is, despite the fact that we were all forced to go to college by our folks (“You don’t wanna flip burgers for a living do you!”). But now that we have a degree, there are no jobs and are parents are all like “What, you too good to flip burgers?!”. It’s really aggravating, and I feel really bad for my generation. I could rant on and on about this.

    • hapagirl

      I am so with you on this. I swear if the economy was like how is it was when the people who love to talk shit about us was kids, I’d probably have a job and be able to be on my own. Hell minimum wage should financially support you, not have three and still barely make ends meet. I’m really lucky my parents understand that and know how shitty the job market is. I can’t even find a job because even the fast food restaurants here only hire family sometimes, cause at this point I’d be perfectly find flipping burgers if it meant a paycheck. A mental institution was doing that here.

    • univeristy is indeed a business model as well that generates a lot of revenue for itself. And then your are on your own to find a job.

  215. As a university student from the southern US, I never really felt the stigma against having my parents support me through college until more recently. It was always understood that my siblings and I could live in my parent’s home as long as we were in school, and we all have our own credit cards in my parent’s account for necessities like groceries, gas, and clothes if we really need them (but we pay for any extra stuff ourselves), as well as having a college fund that should theoretically cover the tuition for undergrad and part of graduate school if we should choose to go. I was the only one of my siblings who wanted to go to uni outside of our hometown, so my parents decided to pay for my meal plan, but the cost of dorms/apartment comes out of my pocket. I honestly never even realized that this arrangement was uncommon until I got to college and found other people having to pay for everything on their own. Sometimes I feel bad because people will call me and my siblings lazy for not doing everything on our own, but I am of the mindset of “why should by siblings feel bad about not moving out right now if my parents are willing to support us until we get on our feet?” I don’t feel like a freeloader because I don’t have a steady income from a career, and I know that as soon as I actually can get a full-time job I’ll be on my own. My siblings and I are all working towards an education which will allow us the means to support ourselves. Still, I know that most people are not as fortunate as I am to have such a generous arrangement and I definitely understand the animosity towards me from people who are totally on their own financially from the time they graduate high school.

  216. (have nothing to do with the topic ..but wondering)..does Korean women really cry as we seen in the drama ..or that not real ????

  217. I can’t speak for all Indonesian but the majority of Indonesians are still strongly family-oriented. In some cases people do temporarily move out when they study in different cities / countries or pursuing a career but then they’ll come back to their parent’s house once their completed their studies or changing their jobs.
    Most Indonesians here move out permanently when they got married or got a stable job when they hit their 30s. Although some people tend to stay with their in-laws for about 1-2 years after the marriage in order to saving up to buy a house/apartment.
    There’s almost no pressure to being independently sufficient during your study period, most the college students i’ve encountered who do internship / took a part time job were mainly did it to gain work experience rather than earn money for living. Parents are expected to provide their children a proper education, even to the extent of post-graduate study. That’s why Educational Saving / Insurance *i dont know the english word for this term* are really popular amongst parents in Indonesia.
    In my case, i didnt attend uni but i did went to a college, my parents provide me a car and driver. I got my advanced diploma when i was 19 and start working ever since. Now i’m 25 y.o, there are times i move out from my house, rent some cheap ass flat due to long hour of traffic (i spent 3-5 hours a day on the road, traffic in jakarta sucks!!!) but when i’m not i’m freelancing, i move back to my parent’s house…

  218. RiddleThemWithBrillance

    I live in the U.S. (Las Vegas, NV) I have to say that I know a lot of people who still live with their parents. I feel like here if you are doing something with your life and trying to achieve an ‘end’ goal then it is okay for you to live with your parents. You are trying to accomplish something. If you are just working and wasting your money away, then my parents will tell you to move out and go have fun on your own dime. My parents are very generous and I still live with them. I am going to be getting my bachelor’s in December, and then off to law school, which for law school it is illegal for you to work more than 20 hours per week. How can I live off of that? If I don’t go to law school right after I get my bachelors, I still think I would live with my parents to save up money for a down payment on the house. The market here in Vegas is cheap, and I can get a nice, new, well-built house for about 1000-1500 a month in mortgage. That’s the same as an apartment! I might as well, right?

  219. unicornsgalaxy

    hmm.. maybe it’s just the area where I livework but I’m actually starting to see more of the idea of the parents taking care of everything for the kids for a lot longer than they did when I was the same age. I work at a community college in the US and we have been seeing a lot of (what I call) ‘Helicopter’ parents who pay for the student’s tuition & fees (since it’s a community college the tuition is pretty low), their books and the student lives at home. Paying for tuition & fees & books, is pretty normal I guess, but what makes these parents the ‘helicopter’ parents is that they will call our help line to get the student’s password reset so they can log in and check their gradesaccount. When we tell them that we have to talk to the student, some parents have gotten angry with us and said “well they’re asleep right now and I’m not going to wake them” or “he’s standing right beside me” and I’m like well I need to talk with them, not you.

    Anyways, I’m seeing more and more of this dependency on the parents lately. (in the US at least)

  220. In Ecuador, it’s similar to Korea in that there is no stigma attached to living with your parents as an adult. As long as you are supporting the household and working/studying, there is no shame in living with your parents well into your 30s. It’s also common for married couples to live with their parents, or more so, for parents to move into the married couple’s new home, especially in old age.
    Because of the bad economy in Ecuador, sons and daughters are discouraged from putting any financial pressure or burden on their parents and are expected to contribute.

  221. I left home when I was 14 years old to study in a different city . Now I do the same thing.(19 y/o).Here it’s not well seen to stay with your parents that much…

  222. It seems like anyone can get a house in England- the government just gives out money to everyone. I have friends with no jobs and no desire to get jobs living in – not nice houses but decent- just exploiting the benefit system. We don’t have to pay back student loans unless we’re earning more than 21,000 a year and there are loads of places easy to rent. I’m renting a flat for my 2nd year of Uni and it’s only 200 per month- not including bills- so it’s pretty good.

  223. Looking at my friends in Poland (I’m 24) quite a lot (maybe half?) lives in their own apartments (and what I mean is that the apartments are owned by kids or the parents). A lot of them is inherited from the grandparents and handed down to kids. Some are bought by parents in a form of investment. For us it’s perfect: You don’t live with your parents but it’s still free:D

  224. I’m 19 ,have two older sisters (26 and 30), and we all still live with our parents. i think in mexican culture, it’s ok to have a well paying job and still live with mom and dad. Like, my sister has been house searching recently and my mom HATES it bc she doesn’t want her “leaving the nest” lol

  225. In the Netherlands it is pretty much “expected” you move out when you start university/college, unless it might be in your town (and even then). It is “okay” to stay with your parents until like your mid to late 20s but usually they expect you to leave earlier and live in student housing or your own very small, little, teeny, tiny room somewhere. If you are in your 30s and older and living with your parents you are pretty much seen as a loser.
    That being said due to the crisis and such it is not unheard of for some people to move back with their parents because they have no money to live on their own, or after divorce. But you are usually expected to pay some of the monthly costs and to move out as early as possible.
    Very little kangaroos here. There are some (know of a guy who had a comic store and who basically stayed with his parents and never paid anything and just bought comics all the time) but they are usually looked down upon unless they have a very good reason as mentioned above.

  226. I´m 23 now and I moved out last month. Before that I was trying to move out for a year. The amount of money you need is definitely insane here in Munich and at that time my job didn´t pay quite so well. My father had me pay him money and my mother kept asking me money because she lives off the welfare system in Germany. My parents wanted me out by the time I was 18, but I was still a student. I lost my education trying to juggle a very demanding part time job and my school hours at once. I remember my parents telling me that I needed to make my own money when I was still in school and not even 18. When I was 19 I did just that and they got mad at me for having to repeat the year. My independence could´t have come sooner. I think here it´s a matter of how people get along with their families and how independent they are and want to be. A friend of mine lives with his parents, but he´s got his own section of the house and he works his butt off so he never really sees them. I don´t get along with my family at all. It got to the point that I didn´t give a shit about life being easier for me since my parents pay for everything. I just wanted them out of my life. I´m cool with some of my friends still living with their parents, no stigma, no judgement. Whatever makes them happy. For me, however, I would´t have lasted much longer in that household. I´m hella happy that I got out and in my next life, I would move out even faster.

  227. I live in the U.S, I’m only 20 and I rent a house with my boyfriend who is korean. His aunt came to the U.S from Daejeon, South Korea last summer and was so shocked at how independent we were. My boyfriend and I work at a restaurant together, and she was just so shocked that we even had jobs at our age and were still going to college as well. I remember her going, ooooh aigoo, while massaging my shoulders and my hands because she just thought that I must be so wore out lol

  228. The Netherlands is the opposite from Korea and maybe even different from others around the world. Once a Dutch person becomes student he might go and leave the house so he can study in the city/village where his education is. And this can be anywhere. So many people all ready leave the house at around the age of 17. But I do need to say that Dutch students have a good student life. We can travel for free and get monthly pay that we can use for our study. The amount of money you get is based on if you life with your parents or not or what kind of education your doing. So it kinda get also stimulated to go and life on your own and become independent. Also around that age many people have jobs and work together with studying. Small jobs not big jobs but some are really creative or anything like that and get higher paid. Most students life in a student house. This is a house with rooms for students. So in other words you share a house with other students while also having your own room where you can sleep and study (They rent a room instead of an apartment). Then you also have the option for renting a house, In this case the student might share the house with other students so they need to pay less.

    You also have a third option that’s pretty interesting for students. This is go and break inside a house and life there. I don’t know if people know this kind of living. But your going to life in a house that’s abandoned for a long time and you can just life there. In most cases those houses are in good shape or really big. I’ve heard about students living in a farm house or a house for a family or any other house that isn’t used but can be used by those students. And yes they do have electricity and all that stuff. They just make use of that one abandoned house. Good point can be that the house doesn’t get desolated.

    When they finish there study they might go back to there parents for a little while. They will find a job and try to find a house as soon as possible. Also the monthly pay you got need to be paid back after you finished your study but that happens 2 a 3 years later. So in other words you have the time to become independent. But I’ve heard a few times that Dutch people in general are very independent but I don’t know if that’s true.

  229. Whenever you do TLDRs like this I feel like Singapore has Asian ways but western ideals.

    First, let me explain the thing about credit cards. My Mum has a really good credit card with lots of benefits and it gives her 2 supplementary cards for free. The card she gave me has my name on it but it’s under her account. I will not be able to get that card in the near future cus the minimum income is super high. I still pay for whatever I spend on that card though.

    Second, Asian parents prize education a lot. So they would pay for it, plus living expenses. Plus, the economy is really bad now. Studies show that if you go into the workforce when the economy is good, your career path is a lot better. AND to be fair, you’re a lot better off living on a job rather than meager unemployment benefits from your parents. My Korean teacher wanted to work first, then study in Germany. He is the maknae in a big family so they already had a fund waiting for him. But he couldn’t give up his pay.

    Third, Asian parents prize grandchildren a lot. It means continuing the family line. So the money you save from staying with them is expected to go into their grandchildren. You save money to start a family as a form of filial piety to your parents. And you mentioned that Korean parents pay for their children’s education, wedding, house, everything. That is only to speed up the process of saving enough to start a family! And not many parents have that much money to give to their kids. In Singapore, and probably the rest of Asia, a lot of people set aside money for their wedding even before they get a partner. If you don’t have enough money, you either wait 10 years to save enough; and risk break up. Or you take loans. I’m not kidding. People rack up debt just for their wedding because you have to invite your whole clan as a form of filial piety. The good thing though, is that even if there are family fights, you can guarantee that you’ll see your extended family in weddings and funerals.

    Third, I think our idea of independence is to spend the money we earn on our own. And it’s still “my house, my rules” in any asian family. Your parents will still scold you for wasting money or not getting a part time job if you have long holidays without school or work. Though they won’t force you to hand over the money. So you can blatantly go against your parents, or you can negotiate.

    What’s more common among Asian families though, is hearing “My house is not a hotel, you can’t come in or go out whenever you want.” You still have to show filial piety, come home early, spend time with your parents, visit your uncles and aunties during new years even though you hate the rudimentary questions, etc.

    So what I’m trying to say is that your responsibility as an adult Asian is very different from your responsibility as a westerner. Your duty is not to grow up and get out. Your duty is to grow up and be filial to your parents. To get married and to have kids. Not to be independent. In the past, you never moved out. You’re always either staying with your parents and being filial to them, or marrying into your husband’s family and being filial to his parents. It’s said that men should marry a good wife to serve his parents. In fact, I think the stigma here is more that your parents are afraid you’d leave them alone to die. Which is happening, actually.

    Though the dynamics are changing because of the whole nuclear family thing. But the principle is still the same. You do good by being filial to your parents, not by asserting your independence.

    Case 1: My Korean friend gave his entire first paycheck to his mother and survived on his savings for the first 2 months of working. That’s filial piety. He said that his mother earned more than him, so he shouldn’t be giving money to her. Which makes sense. Although, in Singapore, we give our parents money monthly as a form of filial piety. Not as a form of rent to assert our independence.

    Case 2: His sister though, lets her mother be her “fund manager”. Meaning she takes what she needs and her mother invests in the rest. The fund will go to her starting her own family in the future. This is a form of trust. Whereas, in the west, you will never hear people doing that.

    IN A NUTSHELL, the way we do things is focused on filial piety rather than asserting our independence and our parents are focused on us getting the family lineage going rather than trying to kick us out of the family home to live our own lives. It’s a matter of different kinds of responsibilities. Your responsibility is to yourself, our responsibility is to our family; our parents and our ancestors.

  230. I grew up in Canada, but my parents were immigrants and moved to Toronto when they were kids. So I got the double effect of Canadian and Portuguese culture. I’m also the youngest and the only daughter.

    I moved out for college, but came back home afterwards until I found a steady ‘real’ job in my field of study (26 in my case). If I wasn’t female, I would’ve been expected to move out sooner, single or not. You move out once you’re married, or if you have a good job. I wasn’t allowed to get a job until my final year of HS, and my parents paid for my post-secondary education (THANK YOU MOM AND DAD), and I know this isn’t the norm. Even though I was never left ‘wanting’, I knew the value of what I had and appreciated it. (hopefully that makes sense!) I had allowance as a child, but had to earn it by helping around the house. Once I secured a good job, no more allowance. So it was strange being quasi-independent, but still living under the rules they laid down. :P

    After renting for a few years, my parents decided to invest in a condo, with me as the tenant. When they proposed the offer, I flat out questioned their sanity….it’s a LOT of money, and I felt guilty taking it (because I couldn’t afford to do it on my own – renting in Toronto is INSANE). Their other ‘gift’ to me was helping with the furniture (as they did with my brothers when they moved out/got married). I know I’m extremely lucky (getting choked up writing this, haha) and appreciate everything they’ve done; could never take it for granted.

  231. Applesauce 21

    I’m English and 17. It’s going to cost me £143 a week to rent a room in a dorm at university. That is without an ensuite, not even in London and self-catered. However, that is down south. Up north however, I could get a room – not a good one, but it’s possible – for like, £84 a week. Paying $250 a month for an apartment?! That would be unimaginable!

  232. I am from Kazakhstan, and situation there is pretty much like in South Korea. Now I’m 19 an I live in the US, so I feel very weird being one of the few people who don’t work and use their parent’s credit card. My mother said that I don’t need to get work as long as she pays for my college, but I have to study really hard. Can’t wait to find a job.

    • Yea, my mum doesn’t want me to get a job either. She says focus on your studies! Actually I don’t understand how American parents want to wash their hands off their kids. Like, don’t they want their kids to do well in school so that they can do well in life? And if Americans pay for all their bills, rent and living expenses, how will they ever save enough to start a family?

  233. Radwa Dali

    So I’m from Egypt, and here it seems kinda similar to the situation in Korea. You’re not expected to get a stable job unless you’ve graduated from university, and you don’t move out unless you’re married (some not so financially-stable families have their sons married in the same house if it’s big enough). Actually there’s a taboo against getting a place of our own here, it’s like breaking the community’s rules. And for families with good income and financial status, it’s quite ordinary for their kids to live off them and their credits cards as long as they want to, even when they’re graduated, and even have a job of their own, which is discouraging. Most youth now have a sense of independence and want to go out there, it’s just the parents who actually doesn’t want heir kids to go away, even when they’re married.

  234. I’m Iranian, but I grew up in Canada so it sometimes feels like I have these two opposing forces working at me. Iranian culture is similar to that of Korea when it comes to moving out etc. It’s just not done. Moving out on your own without a good reason (i.e., school or work is in another city, or marriage obviously), is just not done at all. So there is no stigma against a person in their twenties or even thirties living at home. I have cousins in Iran nearing their thirties and they’re still living at home.

    Personally, I don’t necessarily find it weird if people are living at home when they’re 25, (partly due to my background, and partly due to the fact that finding work and an affordable apartment in Vancouver is nearly impossible), but man alive do I want to move out. But it’s hard because that idea of living on your own without having an established career is very foreign to my parents.

  235. In europe especially germany they also have the same attitude to it like if you want to move out because you wanna be indepent. They also have tv show programmes were they show people who do not wanna move out and how they will get these people to move out of the parents home. Germany has actually the same attitude as you guys descripe like in nort america or kanada.

  236. I’m sure someone else has already said this on the thread–but with Asian families, typically, once your parents retire, the children are expected to take care of them completely. The parents move in, or you build an in-law for them etc. This could explain why both parents and children are okay with the dependency, because it’ll just flip-flop later on in life. Usually the eldest gets this job, so the younger kid gets an easier deal.

    Even in Asian-American families, some kids (despite many of them moving out with successful jobs etc.) feel this huge pressure of “owing” their parents, even sending them monthly stipends despite their parents having full-time jobs and healthy 401ks.

    I’m not sure if my parents are unique. My mom once revealed to me how much she had saved up in her retirement YEARS and years ago and made it quite clear to me she never wanted to be dependent on anyone ever again, let alone her own children, breaking away from that particular tradition. She sounded horrified by the prospect of dependency. I’ve carried on this definition of parenting by example; to give to my children without expecting anything back, to give them the best chance they can get so they can leave the nest without fear. If I tried to pay her back for raising me, she would poo poo me and tell me it was pointless because I would just get the money back when she and my father died (…thanks Mom).

    • HAHAHAH Yea, I think that’s all Asian parents’ noble idea nowadays. They will accept money if it’s a form of filial piety but still save it for you and give you when you get married or when you get your first child or when they die.

      My mother always reminds me that she is investing in assets to build her retirement fund so I don’t have to worry. She said that in the past you have to pay back. But now she feels that if she takes money from me, I might not have enough to give her grandchildren a good education.

  237. From my female Arab-American perspective, I can say that it is preferred for the children to live at home until they are well into their adulthood, especially women. I’m from Chicago, and moved to New York for grad school, and that was a HUGE deal in my community that my parents let me do that. Now I’m looking for jobs, as I’m about to graduate (yay!), and my parents want me to come home and find jobs in Chicago. “Why would you want to live alone, when you could live at home with us?”

    • Yea, lol. Cus it’s better to save money and it’s less dangerous than living alone.
      I’d get a job at Chicago if I were you. I think by the mere fact that I don’t have to live alone, teaches me everyday to appreciate family. I think it’s a value that is slowly being eroded. I admit to wanting the freedom of moving out before but now I’d rather stay with my family.

      • Oh, I have no problem moving back home. I have a lot of student loans that would be easier to pay off if I didn’t have to pay rent. And I’m very close to my family. It’s just that, culturally, it isn’t an option for me to live alone like it is for my friends. (I say “alone” but I mean, independently, even if I would have roommates, like Simon did in college, and like I currently do now.)

    • HOLY SHIT, I live in Chicago right now!
      Cool, another Chicagoan!

  238. So here’s a question: What’s the financial reasoning behind that key money? Is it to cover everything that could possibly get damaged in the apartment, or is it more of a way to ensure stable rent flow by literally making people invest in the place they’re renting? Do the landlords put it in a bank & collect interest, put it under a mattress, swim in it like Scrooge McDuck, or what?

    • They said it before. If people don’t pay rent, you can sue based on the contract. But court cases take forever to pass through. So you’ll bleed a lot of money without key money.

  239. Just as you guys mentioned in North America in general there is that need to be independent… But it’s wayyyy too expensive in New York and ain’t nobody got money to move out yet. After graduating college most students end up back with their parents anyway unless they find a job immediately after graduating. So while it’s cooler to be independent, I can only speak for New Yorkers and not Americans as a whole, but it’s also respectable to avoid debt as much as possible. Hope that makes sense!

  240. Cyber_3

    Well, back when I was 16-25 (in Canada 1990s), I saw the whole range from people moving out when they were 16 years old to people living with their parents into their 40s and it really depended on the family. I didn’t feel a stigma to move out but man, did I ever WANT to move out and be on my own. The whole idea of bringing guys back home with your parents there? Too awkward. I went through the co-op program at my university and that paid for my school and rent (couldn’t get student loans) because most of my job terms were away from my parents’ city anyways. I was not prepared to live away from parents though, it was really tough those first few years (didn’t know how to cook, do laundry, get a job, etc.). I also had over 40 different roommates in those years of school/work so that when I graduated, I wanted to live ALONE. Fortunately, my chosen career paid enough for me to just barely do it but I didn’t have the ability to save anything and it was often lonely. Meeting my husband was great because suddenly my rent and utilities were cut in half and I had disposable income again.

    Right now youth unemployment is at an all time high and housing prices are just ri-damned-diculous, I can’t imagine trying to live on my own if I couldn’t get a job. But I also was the one to arrange care for my Grandpa in his 90s and taking care of old people is even harder than taking care of kids. My parents don’t expect me to take care of them when they get older but I think that they are lonely and I worry about them. Maybe that is part of the “independence” speaking too and if you have ever been to a long term care facility, it would make you weep. Are there “old folks’ homes” in S. Korea? What happens to old people with no family?

    Martina, girl, what is going on with your hair? Did a unicorn lick your head? And Simon (editor), “You get your key money back when you move you”? Great TL;DR. I wonder if you can tie this subject back to women also quitting once they get married or have kids? I mean, parents must be pressuring you to get married, but also your bosses or women wanting to move up into your position – how do you gain independence or self-worth under these circumstances when being married is the only goal for you? Also, if you get into more k-drama things, it’s possible that you could link back some of these societal talks to characters in the dramas, that would be cool.

  241. And all I can think about those poor parents in Korea who are waiting to hear about their kids on that ferry. My heart just breaks for them.

  242. With Middle Easterners it is acceptable (and encouraged, esp for females) so stay at home with their parents. They usually are expected to move out once they get married. The man is expected to have a house ready with furniture setup, before they sign that wedding contract. His parents do help with that financially so if he’s young, they’re going to throw him in the deep end to fend for himself (’cause in our culture the men’s side also pays for the dowry – usually gold).
    I’m currently jobless but trying my best to find a job and I feel guilty about being a grown woman “freeloading” off my parents; but they have this mentality in Middle Eastern culture where the parents spend years working and trying to save more and more money, and that in the end they’re not going to keep it, that it belongs to the offspring first and foremost.
    Some men nowadays are moving out and renting/buying their own places so our culture is shifting; that’s rarer for women, but it is starting to happen more nowadays.

    • lol I like how you say “contract” hahah. I felt bad the day I stepped into college. Asian boys have always been mischievous while asian girls are more sensible and filial. So naturally, girls work harder. Then suddenly, guys start to work really hard in college. My mentality was that I finally had the freedom to play in college, so I was shocked. When I asked around, I realised that the guys had a deep sense of responsibility to get a good job to support their family in future. It was a stark contrast between the guys and girls. The girls got consistently lower grades.

      I mean, we wanted good jobs too but I think the desperation to afford to raise a family cannot be compared to just wanting a good job.

      • Wow, that’s intense! I never realised that! So many cultures around the world still can’t digest the idea that it’s OK for the man to stay at home and be a “househusband”; it’s so deeply ingrained in our cultures that the man has to provide for the family that these poor men just get so much stress because of it.

        • In the generation above mine there are cases of couch sitter guys who quit their job and couldn’t find another one. So they just lazed around at home while the wife has to cook, clean and work. The classic image of an Asian husband is lying on the couch watching tv. I suppose guys just don’t want to be that bastard.

          If there is a big gap in income, even if the wife earns enough money to hire a maid, she feels horrible for having to “feed her husband” or to pay for her husband’s luxury car to meet her standards of living. She hates that he doesn’t buy her luxury items or that she has to pay the insurance premiums and the children’s extra curricular activities. Those are necessities to her lifestyle and the lifestyle she wants for her children, and he just can’t afford it.

          Even today, the mindset is still that women have the option to marry well while men should do well in their careers. Most of my friend’s mothers work. Money empowers women, but the fact is, I still see my friends wanting to settle down quickly to “marry out” of their family problems. Even if the guy has not graduated. They marry based on prospects. The reality of that choice shows how unbreakable the mindset is.

          If you watched Sly and Single Again, the female lead obviously wanted to marry out quickly to get out of being bogged down by the debts of her father and her older brother. She married him because she thought that he could definitely provide for her a stable life. Even if he were just a government employee. Unfortunately, he decided to go through the same path as her father.

  243. My upbringing was basically like where mom is pushing you outside in the big world to learn how to stand on your own 2 feet. She ruled the style of independence. She only spoiled me with gifts until I was around 10 years old then I would get chores with a 4$ reward to my piggybank so I could learn how to manage my earned money according to my own needs. That of course evolved into small part time jobs like working on a farm or delivering newspapers out in the morning. Even though I had all this independence training I still felt a bit lonely and faced a difficult time trying to get out in the competitive job hunting market. As of now I’m understanding a lot better why my mom did what she did back then and thus I gained the confidence to strive out into this big world to satisfy my hunger for knowledge :)
    Here in Denmark we normally move out after graduating high school, mainly because of the financial support we can get from the government (SU) as soon as we turn 18. So the more independent you are the more normal it seems.

  244. It is common for Latin Americans to live with their parents until they are married. However, they aren’t living at home to be freeloaders, it is more like a sign of virtue, you still have to pull your own weight at home. Oh and I think things are changing in Canada with the bad economy. I know many people that are in their 20s who are still living with their parents or are living on their own but receive parental help.

  245. I live in the midwestern US and I think that it is expected for you to move out. With the economy and job market the way it is, I think more people are living at home with their parents. I am 26 years old and I still live at home. I was without work for 13 months, thus delaying my moving out. I then had to get a new car, so I will be paying that off for the next few years. I’m happy to say that I now have a job.
    My parents are totally fine with me living at home. We enjoy each others company. I do pay $200 each month plus pay for my Mom and little brothers cell phones. I also pay for little things too. I will move out one day, but I don’t feel a total rush. My sister and some friends are always asking me when I am going to move out. I guess that I never had that urge to get out and be independent with my own place. I do think that it is important to work and earn money to help pay for things and work towards getting my own place eventually. I have been working since I was 14. If I wanted something, I earned the money and bought it myself.

  246. A REQUEST!! Hello from Denmark. :D I was thinking that it would be awesome if Simon and Martina could do a Korean Drama tldr? Lay down the golden/cheesy kdrama rules and maybe mention your favourite kdramas and the ones you didn’t like at all.

  247. Well, I’m a 25 y-o girl from France and I still live with my mom ! The thing is that I don’t have a stable job to become more independant ! I think that there isn’t so much stigma for people who can’t assume themselves financially here in France ! It’s more being seen as a transition period of life where you’ve finished your studies but you can’t find a job ! The only problem is sometime it can take a long time before assuming yourself with the economic crisis ! And if you have a boyfriend (or a girlfriend) who have a flat or a house and live alone, you can just go live with him (it’s the case for 2 friends of mine) !
    There is however stigmas for people assuming themselves, who have a good job whith a good pay and still living with their parents ! There is a French comedie movie about that, it’s called Tanguy ! It’s a very good example of what you call kangaroo Jo !

  248. I thought you guises would talk a bit about the “880,000 won generation” and all that. Maybe Soo-zee know a little more about this issue?

  249. I still live with my parents….. unfortunately that is because it is ridiculously hard to get a job, in the buttcrack of a town i live in, with the hours you need to be able to support urself on ur own. >:( It seriously sucks. Cause in order to get the money, you need the job. But in order to get the job, you need to have experience. And in order to get experience, you need to have had a job.

  250. I agree that in Canada, there’s a stigma about people who still leech on their parents. Most of my friends moved out as soon as they could from home, though most of them did receive some kind of help from their parents if they were leaving home to get closer to their university (so leaving for studying). Even though the tuition in Quebec is not as much as in other states, there’s some kind of law that make parental contribution mandatory (but it’s related to the total income thingy or something).

    That said, some of my friends, when I told them that my parents started to not help me as much as they used to (I got 2 sisters that started higher education too), they were appalled by this, saying this and that. But those friends have parents that are totally loaded.

    I have 2 friends that were help a LOT by their parents. I’ve discovered this; they didn’t tell it up front because they knew they would then have no right to criticize other parents or their friend’s finance… I had a friend that sat down with me to talk about how I used my money though I later discovered her parents paid for and are still paying for all sort of things, like her cellphone bill… And she actually has a great job now.

  251. I will say that in the US there is probably more of a noticeable effect of “moving back in” with your parents after college. I would say in certain, wealthier parts of the US, there is a major stigma attached to not going to college, especially within the middle class. 97% of my 500 person graduating class from high school went to college and this is pretty common for suburban areas. Because so many of us were going to university, we wound up moving sometimes across the country (North Carolina to Oregon in one case) and at least a 5.5 hour trip home for me. And I will say that many, many US universities require you to live on campus your freshman year. Like, you have to move out, even if you are 20 minutes down the road. So I think that after (usually) 4-5 years of living away from home at a university, there is a noticeable difference for you and your parents in moving back in, where as for people who could live at home for college would not see this as begin so different. Like the difference between someone from Seoul living with their parents during college verses someone from Busan who went to college in Seoul and came back home afterwards.

  252. Living with your parents into your late 20′s/ 30′s is becoming more common in parts of England (specifically London and the South East), as house prices are so much higher than the rest of the country. Basically most of the jobs are in one area, so everyone moves there.
    It’s getting to be almost impossible to get on the property ladder as first time buyer, especially if you’re trying to buy without a partner.

  253. I think, here in States, especially because of Student Loans and the economy dip we have had, we see more parents and their children living together. I live in Alabama, where our cost of living is lower than most of the country but we have HIGH poverty rates and I see more and more of us are staying at home. Currently I live at home with my mom and dad and it wasn’t for financial reason’s it was for medical. It was to help meet their needs. We are financially independent of one another.

  254. In Spain, the difficult thing is to earn enough money so you can leave your home. Most of the times, if you leave your home your parents has to help you with your expenses because the salaries are quite bad and the rents, even thought are starting to be cheaper, are quite high.

  255. In Norway you usually move out as soon as you finish Upper Secondary School / High School and start university/college. Most of the time this comes naturally because you usually move to another city/place in the country in order to attend a spesific university/college. You do not pay tuition in Norway (some exceptions do exist) and you get cheap student loans and a scholarships from the Norwegian State Educational Loan Fund, so you can actually get by only with this. Because it is so freakingisly expensive to buy alcohol in clubs and bars, we usually go on vorspiels and nachspiels (German for before-party and after-party) in each others homes to get drunk before we go to a club to dance. Hosting these while living at home is quite embarrasing, thus it never happens. Living of our parents is looked down upon and you should get out as soon as possible.

    Most Norwegians own their own homes, so we have to take out house loans and here parents usually helps out by providing collateral or guarantee for the loan. They also help us out moving and do assist when purchasing cheap furniture at IKEA. The real estate market is really tight, so most young people rent an apartment with 3-4 friends paying about USD 1500 each per month. And in order to afford “living” we usually need a part-time job to cover other living expenses.

    I personally moved out when I was 17 and actually before I graduated from high school. I guess I craved my independence early.

  256. Just joining in on the Canadian side of the discussion…

    I’m part of a large family (seven siblings), and my parents gave us a weekly allowance until we were twelve to give us an understanding on how money works. After twelve however, the money was cut off and you were expected to make money elsewhere (usually babysitting). As for living at home, you can do it rent-free until you are 25 – then you are expected to move out or start paying rent. The idea is by this time you are done university, so you can go off into the world and find your fortune (or slightly less debt-like life). However, my brother is only 23, and we’re all starting to get itchy for him to move out since he’s barely home anyway – he’s gotta give up his room!

    As I am 20, I am not at that point yet where I’m expected to move out (as I’m still in the middle of my university career.. one more year!), but I am expected to cover my tuition. My parents gave me a few thousand dollars for the first year as a jump start, but after that it’s up to me and government loans, bank loans… whatever money I find in the couch…

    My parents pay for my food, but I am expected to pay for entertainment funds, clothing, anything I want to do for fun. However, I recently convinced my mom that if she pays for my clothing now I’ll give her an allowance once I have a full-time job… so that is beneficial.

    But I think that the age of moving out is shifting in Canada – while it is still common to move out for university and never return, unfortunately (especially with the expensive tuition that Ontario expects us to pay), that isn’t realistic anymore for most- especially if one wants to go into graduate studies. I think the last statistic I read was that the age of moving out in Canada was 27 or 28…

  257. I’m curious as to how much of what you mentioned is more of the fact that Korea is very family oriented in general? I have a cousin in Korea, he and his family live in the same apartment building as his parents. I mentioned that to my husband and he’s like “o that’s weird.” and in my opinion its more of “well you have your family close by.” in america its so heavily emphasized on “you must move out when you’re 18 and be on your own cause you’re an adult” while in Korea its like “no your my children and my grandchildren”

    My mom who is Korean was saddened when I moved away even thirty minutes from home. .She was ecstatic for the time period when we moved down the street from her and she would bring us food and help out with the baby. Then when my husband got a job that was 3 hours away – she was not so happy. And a lot of it was because, according to her, Korean culture is very family oriented. For example, if we were having financial issues, she wouldn’t dare of asking us to fork up the gas money to come visit her, she’d find a way to come to us and my in-laws are more “well its not our responsibility to come see y’all” (sorry about the y’all, i’m Korean-American, but i’m living in the south….). My in-laws think my mom is making me too dependent, but my mom feels like its her duty (although i have refused help from her before and she actually found it to be very insulting and gave me grief about it until i gave in…).

    actually just researched this and multiple sites actually describe the history of Korean family culture pretty well – one site i found mentioned how Korean parents view American family culture as inhuman because they can’t imagine how parents could be so set on having their child leave home and be independent because they view the parent child bond as one of the strongest family bonds if that makes any sense. so i don’t think its necessarily that people are mooching off their parents, i think its more of its what’s expected of them traditionally. you can see it in the old traditional houses where there are multiple rooms for multiple generations and families. families in Korea were built on the idea that families stick together. also sons were expected to stay close to home so that they can take care of their parents.

    the joys of being a Korean-American. people think your family traditions are weird and your family thinks the others are weird.

    so as a Korean-American living in America, I get criticism from others about the Korean traditions my family had. What about in Korea? do you know of any Korean-Americans in Korea that may have American traditions that Koreans criticize? Not just Korean-Americans. What about others who are from one traditional background living in a country that have the opposite values? Just curious. :)

    • The thing about the U.S. & Canada is that they are relatively new countries. Everything here had to be built from the ground up, and it was only the strong and independent who survived and flourished in each area of the country as it was being developed. This made being independent the cultural norm over here. There are exceptions in the Italian-American conclaves of New York & New Jersey, but those are regional, and largely derided by the rest of the country(just look at how many jokes were made about the people of Jersey Shore). That’s one part of it.

      The other part of it is the large influence of British, Irish, and various Scandinavian cultures, all of which still favor an independent mindset over co-dependence or interdependence. If North America had been settled more by Koreans back in the 1500′s, I’m sure our culture today would look very different.

      • That makes sense. US and Canada are countries mainly formed by people who moved from their original countries and families. They had to be very independent to start in a new place. Korea and other countries are countries that have just started to get foreign people.

    • My sister-in-law is first-generation immigrant Chinese American, and I’ve seen a similar push-and-pull. When she and my brother bought their house, they bought a house that her parents could live in as well, and her parents moved right on in. Every time I mentioned that fact to Americans, they’re shocked–You poor brother has to live with his in-laws!! How does he cope! (The truth was, he knew that was going to happen, and they’re lovely people, so it really wasn’t a problem!)

      Then my sister-in-law’s parents moved out because the dad had a good short-term professional opportunity in another city. And even though it was just for a couple of years and they were planning to move right back, the father got a TON of crap from other Chinese immigrants–Why aren’t you living with your daughter!? Did you guys fight!? What went wrong!?

      Just getting it from both sides….

      I feel like the American system works fine until people have kids–then child care becomes this HUGE burden. And it wasn’t for my brother and sister-in-law, because hey, the grandparents were right there.

      • Wishy

        Yea, living with parents in the Chinese culture is more of a payment for them raising you, isn’t it? Instead of a constant freeloading.

        • Well, of course the housing market is VERY different where they live (Texas) than it is in Korea–housing is very cheap, even by American standards. And I can’t imagine my SIL ever freeloading off anyone–she’s quite an independent personality (both cultures agree on that). But I also don’t think she could give you a specific reason why it’s a good idea for the parents to always come along–she just thinks it’s a Very Good Idea, and when it can’t happen, it’s a Darned Shame. She’s always kind of shocked when Americans express the opposite opinion. (It helps that her parents are, as I said, really very lovely people–I’d let them live with me if they wanted to!)

    • my mom is korean and this sounds sooo familiar. When i was a teenager i thought my mom was really old-fashioned but as i got older i realised it was because she is korean even though we live in the netherlands (and not old fashioned).

    • well said. It`s about what a culture values and believes is the right way. Chinese culture is very similiar, even abroad, here in Australia. Chinese families have their parents live with them until death. You will rarely find a chinese elder in a “nursing home” as many locals here expect their parents to end up. At worst the elder will live in their own home and the siblings will visit them every other night and each weekend.

      I myself can`t imagine letting my mum live alone in old age, I will expect her to live with me as she gets older, for now she`s fine and doing business. Even if it is inconvenient or cramped. It`s about care and realizing that its these bonds that carry cultures through the ages.

      I went to Korea and know what you mean by:

      “”… i think its more of its what’s expected of them traditionally.
      you can see it in the old traditional houses where there are multiple
      rooms for multiple generations and families. families in Korea were
      built on the idea that families stick together. also sons were expected
      to stay close to home so that they can take care of their parents.””, ~ true true

  258. PunkyPrincess92

    i’m at uni right now, living with my parents since uni is actually pretty close, also my parents didn’t want me to leave yet and i’d also feel guilty since my mum needs help around the house as her health isn’t so great and the rest of my lazy ass siblings do nothing!

    i do know though that if me and my family lived in our home country (Bangladesh) the WHOLE family would be living together forever, like with my dad’s side of the family too!! and for example if my brother got married he would also still be living there!! a girl though would move in with husband’s side of the family!!

  259. Tiara Sune

    In the US, many people believe living with their parents is demoralizing and lacking in the “American Dream”. The idea of the “American Dream” is for young adults to establish their own households and be more successful than their parents. Don’t forget the bad joke came out of the idea about “living in your parents basement”. Both parents and their young adult children are victims to unfortunate circumstance from the economy to unemployment which are leading to a growth in multigenerational households. It is shameful to label young adults as unsuccessful and lacks independence if they still live at home. Not all cases of young adults living at home are due to the young adults inability to live on their own. Some young adults are in fact helping their parents out due to the affects of the recession. Families are coming together and helping each other out in an insecure economic landscape. In the US, it is socially looked down on because it isn’t the norm. But this doesn’t mean these young adults are doomed. These young adults are looking at the bigger picture, saving.

  260. I live in the US, but my parents are from India. My grandparents lived with me growing up. It is very culturally expected that you don’t move out until you get married, and then when you do get married, you take care of your parents in old age. It’s awkward trying to explain to my University friends why I still live with my parents (I get the weird side eye when I explain the way my allowance works), but I’d break my mother’s heart if I left. I can’t do that, so I stay until I at least go and get my Master’s.

  261. In the Philippines, staying at home with your parents until your old age is never a problem. It is expected for a single man or woman to live in their home until he/she gets married. Of course you have to give something for your “board and lodging” but it’s not as expensive as living on your own. Also the concept of living together with someone you are not married to, is still a big no-no here. And that will surely happen if a man or a woman would have his or her own living space. (The Philippines by the way, is the largest Catholic country in Asia.)

  262. I think in Costa Rica it depends on the family you grow up. I’ve some friends that had to move out as soon as they turned 18, but there’re others who are still living with their parents as I do. I’m 20 and I’m in college, fortunaly I got the chance from my dad to study what I like (he’s paying my college fees) and I don’t have to work. They even gave me a credit card for “emergencies” which I use just to buy books for college.

    My parents are quite different from the others, they don’t seem to mind if I stay with them forever, and they don’t have that “policy” of “My house, my rules”. Even so I’m the one who says “I’m not allowed to do what I want, this is not my house”, and even when I don’t have to, if I get some money of some part time job, I give it to my mom.

    • yeap it always depends on the environment you grow up, but I think the majority don’t move out, at least the people I know haven’t done that. Btw I’m also 20 living in Costa Rica. :D

  263. My parents had/have a rule that we could live with and be supported by them as long as we were in school. So, for example, when my brother decided not to go to college after high school he had to get a job and move out, but when he went back to college 4 years later he moved back in.
    I, on the other hand, decided to get a bachelor, master, and doctorate and have therefore been supported by my parents for the past 10 years.

  264. Harriet Roozle Andrew

    Here in Scotland, it kind of depends on what you’re doing job/educationwise. I moved out to a halls of residence (which my parents paid for, because my loan was only £90 per month and I couldn’t find a job) when I turned 18, because I went to university.
    That then fell through two years later, and the loan system got better, so now I’m in a flat with my boyfriend which is £300 per month (the lowest we could find), we pay half each, pay gas and electricity and internet and travel and all that stuff ourselves. Our flat is a good size (Old victorian building. We live above a pub though. Drunkards and loud dance music at 1am when I wanna sleep)

    BUT! I know people who worked full time from 18 onwards who took a year or so after starting work to move out, often not very far from where they originally lived, but closer to where they work.
    And I know people who do apprenticeships who don’t move out till they’re in their 20′s.

  265. Is it a big gender difference for koreans living with their parents? IE, women or men staying home longer?

    I believe in North America, women tend to move out younger, I was one of those. It was the combination of 1. paying rent to parents (not in all cases, but some). 2. Too many damn chores, more than my male friends 3. “curfew” There’s no actual curfew in effect, but still parents are like WTF you doing out late daughter?!?! and back to chores of getting home early to help cook dinner 4. juggle all that while trying to work a full time job, so it seemed worth it in the end to GTFO. Whereas my male friends may be paying rent and do no chores.

    I also think there is a dynamic also with the parents, though the parents are taking care of the kids with deposit and education, betting those kids are an investment to take care of their parents when the parents need that care. Whereas some of us north americans, like my in-laws, want an old folks home to not burden the children.

  266. The social stigmas you mentioned about Canada are absolutely still true in the US (I live in Michigan). Like the OP stated, though, a lot more college graduates are being forced to move back in with their parents. Right now, our culture is telling everyone they need a college education, but there simply aren’t jobs for college graduates that will allow them to pay back loans/support themselves financially. So a lot more freeloaders are popping up. There is, however, still that overall sentiment that you shouldn’t be living with your parents anymore. Everyone that I know in their 20′s is dying to get out of their parents’ houses and move on with their lives — myself included. Several years ago, when my brother graduated from high school, he moved out immediately. He bounced around between a few places before getting laid off at work sent him packing back home. When he got married, his wife’s family offered to let them stay there until they could find a place, and let me tell you — they were house hunting like MAD PEOPLE to get out of there. There’s definitely a sense of shame associated with being a married American living with your/your spouse’s parents.

    I graduated from college almost a year ago now, and there’s simply no way I can afford to move out, and it’s KILLING ME. Even during college, I was the ONLY PERSON I knew that was still living with their parents. I’m looking to move to a big city on the coast, though, and I know I’m going to need a LOT of money to make that happen. For me, right now, it would be silly to move out to a local apartment and waste all of the money I need to save for the big move. So I try to pretend like it doesn’t bother me that I live with my parents, but holycrapitbothersmesomuch. One of my brothers, on the other hand, seems perfectly content to mooch off my parents for as long as possible. He’s almost 26, so it’s kind of unacceptable.

    I was always raised in a culture of “You graduate from high school, move out and go to college, maybe get a master’s degree, then find a house and start your own life.” We were always expected to find ways to finance our endeavors on our own — no college payments from mommy and daddy. We were never given allowances. It’s time to be adults and responsible for our own choices. My oldest brother and sister found themselves house shopping at a time when there were more jobs, so they both ended up independently living by their mid-20s. As for me and my last remaining un-married sibling, we’re still trying to take some of the financial burden off of our parents, even if it’s small things like paying for our cell phones, buying food, etc. It just seems wrong to be at this stage in life and still relying on our parents for everything.

  267. lady_kire

    I’m from Vancouver, BC and we have been labelled with the second most expensive housing in the world (First is Hong Kong, and I will not argue with that). I will say that living in Vancouver, you will NOT get a house now unless you decide to live an hour or 2 away. Even then, you might not be able to. My parents house (even though it is the ugliest house on the block and is not a fancy mansion) would sell for, as far as I can guess, past $5 million. Since we live on the “West side,” property is hell lot more expensive because it’s considered the area where rich people live.
    Renting condos is becoming expensive as well. The condo market is being heavily bought by people overseas (mostly people from China). So, nice pretty condos are being sold for hundred thousands dollars. You might be able to rent a tiny appartment, but it may be old, have problems, or in a bad neighborhood. But honestly, it’s the best we could do.

    People are expected to have a job, but it’s really hard to find a job in Vancouver. I am a 3rd year university student, and huge percent of jobs won’t hire you if you don’t have experience in that field. However, the problem is that people can’t gain experience without going into jobs that are in that field. So, we’re stuck in this loop of people not hiring us for no experience, and us needing experience with a job.

    With the rent and housing being so damn high, it’s been on the news of people living with their parents. Kids are expected to move out of their parents place, but with the housing market being too expensive, they have no where to live without forking a lot of money. If you have a good job in Vancouver, you still might not be able to afford a decent place to live.

  268. i’m from north africa and here you are expected to live with your parents until you get married! so if you don’t get married you live with your parents FOREVER!
    (but you are expected to help financially once you get a job)
    some people live with their parents even after they get married or they get their parents to live with them because there’s the idea that you have to take care of them and pay them back for everything when they get old!

  269. In the UK it really depends on the family you’re bought up with. Generally it’s the case of you live with your parents they pay for you as you grow up, when you’re 16 you can start to get a job etc etc. People generally move out when they’re 18 and go to university. After university they can buy relatively cheap places to live in whilst they start to save money to buy a bigger and nicer house. Right now though apparently house prices are rising in the UK so it’s getting harder to buy a decent place and people may live with their parents because of that.

    Then you have people who live with their parents even though they have a job and get their own money. My aunt still lives with my pappie and she’s 48 this year BUT she pays her own side of the rent, cooks for herself, cleans for herself so she’s not freeloading. There is that issue and I think that once someone turns 18, especially my parents, they expect you to do more around the house. My parents are like “You’re 18 now you can clean up after yourself, cook your own food, get a job to get money to spend on yourself because we don’t have it”.

    It depends like some families may want their child to grow up and go off around the world, become independent whilst other families want to keep their child close to them and are too protective over them. That’s my version of what I’ve seen growing up. I live in the countryside of the UK so it may be a lot more different for someone living in the big cities like London and Birmingham :)

  270. Even within north America, there are many cultural differences.
    Commonly, white families WANT their kids to leave. African Americans are tough on their kids to work or school at least. Hispanic families often don’t mind if 3 generations live in one house. I’m not sure about Japanese or Chinese.

    But you know, you leave their home… then they come live with you when they’re old.

  271. But what actually is key money? Is it the full market price of the
    residence charged in case the renter gets arrested for black bean
    impersonation? Does the renter ever get it back, like if he/she doesn’t
    trash the place and eventually moves out? Also, Italy apparently has a
    similar Kangaroo Jo (or Mario, as the case may be) problem, of grown men
    living with their mothers, who continue to cook and clean for them, and
    the country is now for the first time suffering negative population
    growth since these men don’t marry or reproduce.

  272. After watching your video and reading your blog post I realised : It’s a conspiracy!

    …as for the freeloaders …everybody wants the easy way. Thing is at some point, things start to get a bit out of control and one would prefer moving out than going completely insane. That’s kind of my situation… having a mother and a sister with the Peter Pan/ Wendy Syndrome gets kind of tough…

    Great job as always guys! Fighting! >:D<


  273. im form mexico! and there is no pressure to move out once you ‘ve finished university..girls are expected to move out when they get married. Im 24 i have a job and still living with my parents for me its normal..but they do expect that i give something back, not neccesarily money, i mean like helping with house chores or take them out for dinner..things that really come from the heart haha :)

    • Yeah we are a lot like Korea in that matter. Having your own appartment is actually very rare and quite difficult. Plus universities here don’t have dorms so unless you are from another state, you stay with your parents. For us, we think the opposite, moving away at 16, 18 is something you would do only if you really needed to otherwise is like you are trying to grow too fast.

    • My grandfather is mexican too and my family is very similar and has a simialr out look. I mean I think no matter the age kids should always contribute by doing chores or whatever to help clean the home they get to live in, to me thats just part of being a family. We all pitch in and get it done.

  274. I am from Venezuela, and the situation is quite and sadly similar: It is financially IMPOSSIBLE to move out! Our real state market has gone crazy with the rest of the economy, plus, due to new legal regulations, most owners are feeling unprotected…so, nobody is offering apartments or houses for rent, and if they do, it is REALLY REALLY expensive. The deposit is as crazy as in Korea, and monthly payments are IMPOSSIBLE; the rent for a crappy apartment could go around 20.000 Bs a month, while the minimum wage is only 3.200 Bs (plus, normal monthly expenses like food and bills, go around 9.000 Bs). A lucky young professional could get a salary of 10.000 – 15.000 Bs…you do the math!

    Like most of Latin America, we have a “family culture”, but also “the itch” of independence, but is really hard to accomplish! =(

  275. One summer or winter, when I was depressed, my parents started threatening me that if I didn’t get a job or something “adult-like” and independent, they’d kick me out. Then my sister did the same thing, only because of her boyfriend, my parents actually kicked her out. So then I got yelled at less because I least I was in college.
    Then my brother became 17 and my dad decided that he’d just let us live with them forever, so long as we were working or in school.
    Now my parents don’t want me to leave. Or drive.
    - From the U.S.

  276. In Germany it’s pretty much mixed. Some move out to study, some don’t. But most of my friends moved out, or are going to in the near future, in the age ranges of 19~25. Mostly people move closer to university (like me). We have ‘BaFöG’ kind of an institution you can get money from if your parents don’t get enough money, you have to pay it back after finishing university. (I think it’s half of it you have to pay back).

    I don’t think anyone would side-eye you if you say you’re a university student and still live with your parents, simply because university is just too exhausting. But if you, let’s say, are 27 and have a good job… well.. then people will kind of look a bit weird at you, I think.

  277. AfizaFarhana

    Somehow I think I was talk about this in Eat Your Kimchi facebook page. I’m from Malaysia, 25 years old, have a job and a car but still live with parents. No stigma here. Actually if I wanna say majority Malaysian youngsters now living alone without parents (and the rent, I can say much cheaper than S. Korea) in the city while parents are live at ‘kampung’ (county side) and children comeback regularly visiting parents. Most of youngster nowadays love to be independent but at the same time it’s still acceptable to adults (married or not) live with their parents. It’s kinda take care of your parents thing. Majority adults gives parents money while live with them but in my case, both my parents had retire allowance for their own they refuse to have my money. But at the same time I can use my own money for myself. I share my bills with my parents…and the whole thing I mentions maybe because I’m a girl, so girl live alone or be independent quite not a good thing in my area culture thing. So, it’s kinda Asians thing not just only South Korea – I think.

  278. Everyone’s here from so far away hehe. I’m 21 in Singapore, and it’s actually very rare to be living alone in your 20s. Mainly because of land shortage so housing/rent is REALLY. EXPENSIVE.

    People normally live with their parents until they get married. Plus there’s a government policy where you’re not allowed to own a flat unless you’re married or above 35 or something like that. Just because there’s not enough houses for everybody.

    Even after your married, there’s a good chance you still have to continue staying with your parents because it takes a while to apply for a flat. And the wait can be anywhere from 2-4 years if you’re lucky.

    So there’s not much stigma, although it’s pretty common for working adults to give good sum of money to their parents every month. Yeah :D

    • Yea, it’s so expensive that the government gives married couples a grant on top of a huge discount for public housing since we can’t take a 100% loan from the bank. I think we get the grant also, if we reach 35 right?

  279. I know in the US a lot of college graduates (myself included) are having no choice but to move back in with their parents due to the extremely high rates of student debt and the current job market. However with the strong stigma that one should be independent and have a job after University i feel like many of my friends are going through ‘early life-crises’ where they are trying to figure out how to start a career/just get a job to ultimately become independent. I also feel that this situation has contributed to the stereotype that the young generation is lazy when really it is just incredibly hard to get a job now a days.

  280. Brazilian culture generally speaking is really family oriented. Most people will live with their parents until they get married or if they have to move because of work or college (but most people go to a college near their home). If the family has money (I don’t mean super rich, but upper middle class), it’s common for the parents to pay for everything and for the kids not to work until they graduate college.

    If the person keeps living with their parents until their 30s, I think most people will not think anything of it. But they might think it’s strange if the person doesn’t give money to their parents to help them pay rent, bills etc. In our culture, it’s expected that the parents devote their lives to their kids and that, when the parents get older, the kids do the same for them (it doesn’t always happen like that though).
    Also I think it’s more acceptable for a woman to keep living with her parents than for a man to do the same.

    And it’s also common for the person to move out, but live close to their family.

  281. In my country there is the “you can life with your parents” thing. Unless you are somewhere in your thirties because then it might become a bit weird.
    But hey about living close to each other. This is how it is here:

    We (my mom and I) live in a house that is divided in two apartments. I live in the ground level apartment. Above me is my sister. Really she does life like right above me with her boyfriend. Both work and have to feed two cats.

    Also I have seen ‘richer’ people on TV have like a whole upper floor of a house including kitchen and such for their children.

    So here it’s pretty much okay to stay with your parents even in your twenties, thirties is weird but still acceptable and then in the end forties becomes really creepy.

  282. Well I’m from Sweden and most people tend to move out when they start at the university, or if they don’t attend a university they move out as soon as they have a good enough job. The real-estate market is kinda hard to get into for a student so most students live in dorms. All students get about 160 dollars every month from the government and you can apply for government-funded student loans to cover rent and living expenses!

    And most people look down upon young adults who stay with their parents, but it’s becoming more accepted since the rents are so high in most cities.

  283. Monika Zubkiewicz

    I have a very important question in relation to this: I
    know that when you’re a teacher in Korea, you’re rent for the most part
    gets paid for. Does that include that $10,000 or so down payment/deposit
    or just the monthly rent itself?

  284. Hey guys !

    In France, there is this idea of being indepedant as soon as we can. But during university, It’s classic that parents provide money to pay the rent and the food. It’s often very hard studying and having a part-time job at the same time (and even find one because of bad economy…). So lots of people stay at their parents house if they can during university. In an other hand, since university is free, and the state helps young people to pay their rent, they’re a lot of university students that live on their own, and often it’s because university is far from their parent’s town. So the two of them are totally acceptable, because if you live with your parents, it often costs them less money than living in your own flat.
    Actually, I’m a student too, and I my school is far from my parent’s house, but I live in my aunt’s house so that my parents could save money by paying a lower rent to my aunt than they would have to for a flat.

    But since you’ve finished your studies and you’ve got a proper job, you have to live on your own. It’s not really accepted to live in your parent’s house if you’re financially independant. It’s what everyone is supposed to do.
    Also, in France also exists a kind of “kangooroo jo”. People that tries to stay at the university as long as they can to keep getting help from their parents, but also from the state who gives money to help students. I know people that are really near 30 y-o and still get all their money from their parents. And the majority of people are chocked by that type of behaviour.
    But I guess it’s a parents and child choice, because I think my parents would kick my ass out and tell to find a job quickly in that kind of situation !

    (I hope I’m clear, my english isn’t so good…)

  285. Most of the middle to upper class families in South East Asia try to send their kids abroad for University. The costs of living would go up to $100,000 annually. Now this is obviously a lot of money for North Americans, but even more for South East Asian (because of the exchange rate), but many parents would do this so that their kids are accepted as part of the elite upper class. The kinds of jobs you would get as a foreign graduate would also be significantly higher than if you were a local graduate (almost double).

    However, along with a $100,000 price tag per annum, a lot of people give up much of their freedom. Here’s where Asian and American culture differs. Talking back, questioning, and discussing ideas are foreign concepts. Asian parents have a lot of say to where their children lives, who their children talks to, who their children marries, etc. I am a 27 year old female who can and would die to live independently in my own place, but am not allowed to. I still have a curfew and I still get reprimanded if I break the curfew. One of the socially unacceptable stigma is to live alone. For an unmarried person to have no supervision (either from parents or significant others) is a taboo. Men and women are pressured to find a husband, marry, and have a family as that is the socially acceptable norm. The stigma associated with being independent and living alone is that he/she are allowed to go home whenever they want, whatever time, hence are irresponsible.

    Another concept that is foreign to North American is living standards. In developing countries, living standards highly vary, and by highly I mean you can earn $200 a month to $200,000. One of the reasons that young adults are still being supported by their parents is probably because if he/she would to survive independently, they would probably survive on $1000 a month, versus their parents who are earning $100,000. Parents who don’t earn that kind of ballin’ money probably cannot support their kids. Kids with parents with no ballin’ money would probably give their parents pocket money from their own salaries.

    Lastly, please note that not all kids who are being supported by their parents are vampires. A lot of us set the bar really high, work really hard, it’s just that we aren’t at a level where we are better off than our parents, yet.

  286. I’m American, and my family never gave me an allowance, and now that I am a full-time college student I am still expected to have a job to support myself HAHA. And I’ve had to take out loans…. to pay for school…. and now I’m in debt and don’t have a job and am expected to still do well in school…. *sniff sniff*…. being an American college student isn’t really that great… >.<

  287. the way my family and most families I know do it is that the parents would pay everything (university/education) and most of the time contribute to marriage costs too, after marriage (or maybe getting a good job) however, the children would give their parents a part of their salary every month, about 10 to 20% or so, to support the older parents..
    So basically the parents “invest” in their children’s education and life instead of for example starting a business or investing somewhere else, and the kids take control of supporting them when they’re older.. In most cases if a parent is extremely old they’d move in with their married child.

  288. It’s pretty similar here in Greece, actually. But I think it’s less of a financial deal and more of a “we’re really big on family” deal. It’s not unusual for people in their 20s to still be living with their parents – in fact, I would say it’s kinda the norm and most people think nothing of it, especially if you’re studying. And then they’ll get married/get a stable job or whatever and move out, but their parents are usually still very close by.

    E.g. A friend of mine lives in a two-storey house that’s been separated into two flats (one floor per flat). She lives with her dad, step-mum and step-sister in the upstairs flat, and the dad’s mum lives in the flat below. Another example: my mum’s boyfriend lives in the suburbs, but his parents live in the centre (40 mins – 1hr with traffic, 20mins without traffic, approx.). He’s 50-something but he’ll often stay the night with them if he’s working in the centre in the morning.

    And finally, it’s often the case that once one’s parents get old, retire and need support they’ll move in with one of their kids and their family – kind of like the kid is obligated to look after the parent(s) when they becomes less able to fend for themselves (usually when one of the has passed away or they’re separated).

    Obviously now with the financial crisis living together is also beneficial in regards to family finances, but Greeks just really love family and support each other. Don’t even get me started in the whole massive extended family sha-bam every holiday xD

  289. Interesting topic! Here in the Netherlands there is something called (if translated correctly..) “subsidised housing”. Depending on your income the government will help you pay your rent. Sounds great but this has one flaw. When you turn 18 and you and your parents live in subsidised housing house you cannot make to much money or else the government support will stop (It doesn’t stop if you’re not making any money, but just live with your parents). You’re legally an adult so you can help pay the rent according to the government. So this actually prevents you from making and saving money since now you have to pay rent with your parents. Then again it does help you living on your own after you graduated and just started a career.

    There isn’t really a stigma on living with parents. However there is a stigma on living with your parents after a certain age (let’s say 30/35). Then society thinks you’re to old to live with your parents and you’re actually frowned upon.

  290. Well, here in the Philippines we’re somehow in the middle between the North American and Korean culture, because we’re not really pressured to leave our parents’ house once we get a stable job, or even after we marry. However, we are expected to share in paying expenses such as the rent, bills, and other stuff. Also, once we get a stable job, we are expected to give a part of our salary as a support for our parents, or as a “thank you gift”, especially when we’re just starting out. So it’s like, “You get to stay in our house, but you gotta start spending for it too.”

  291. In Vietnam, it is totally okay to live with your parents until you get married. So almost every Vietnamese only move out of parent’s house when they get married and parents prefer that way so that they can look after their children all the time. As for the first male child in the family, he will have to stay with the parents FOREVER even when he gets married. This is because our culture believe in children should take care of their parents when they get old so the responsibility is more toward the first son. (Why the first son? ….. it is the whole other complicated culture thing) ^^

  292. I’m from Germany and as far as I know it’s common to move out when
    you’re going to study at university because many people just HAVE to
    move out because the university isn’t in their home town. Most people
    move out (and want to move out) when they’re in their early twenties
    because they want to be independent. Most of the parents actually want
    their kids to move out when they’re older, like in their thirties
    because they want their children to be independent. If you have a big
    house than sometimes the children will get their own apartement. But
    even if you live with your parents at home it’s normal to pay rent if you have a job.
    a student myself and I want to move out to but because I don’t have
    enough money I want to live with other people together ( ne or two) and
    share an appartement, that’s very common in Germany for students to do
    that. And we also have to pay monthly rent and it isn’t that expensice
    as it is in Korea ^^. But we still have to pay for university.

  293. In iceland we are all raised diffrently but the most people dont have much stress as being independent. Since the viking age the parents dont save up money for their children the spent it on them selves and the kids had earn their own money and it has held as a tradision here sort of. Since collage or universety isn’t that expencive we dont have to take lones. Since we dont struggle moving out of our parents place, its not ”lame” to still live with your parents in your late 20, but you are expected to move out atleast when you have children and you and your partner can aford to live on your own and the parents are not expected to pay for the wedding. Also i want to point out that every teenager is expectet to have a part-time job at the age of 16 and that includes to be working with school and then have summer jobs. So kids are saving up for years and then they can aford to move out at a young age.

  294. adriana

    Even though I live in the United States, my parents are from Europe (Italy and Greece) and it is really common to live with your parents until you are married there. I have a friend in Italy who moved out when he was 18 and it was really rebellious of him and his family wasn’t happy. From what I noticed in Italy, many daughters become second mothers, helping out with all the chores. The sons, however, are perpetual mama’s boys, and get waited on every second. It is also common that a grandparent or two are also living with the family. I am out of college and I still live with my parents in Chicago, but it’s really starting to become more acceptable here. The only time other people will judge you negatively about this is if you are indeed a freeloader. I’ve heard of families charging their adult children rent, and my family cannot wrap their head around it maybe because of our European roots. I honestly love living with my parents but I know I would probably hate it if my home was similar to the size of Korean homes. We have 2 floors with 4 bedrooms and a basement that has a bedroom, kitchen and bathroom, so there is a lot of space. It’s kind of difficult to leave such a spacious and quiet environment when you know the only apartment you can land would be like the size of one bedroom for the entire apartment.

  295. I loved the moment that Simon realized what he was about to say was going to bite him in the ass, but Martina called him on it anyway. Nice try, turning the camera off Simon…but we know…we know.

  296. In Malta it is very common for children to stay with their parents untill they get married or are financially stable and can move out. Many 20 and 30 year olds who are getting married usually stay with the parents to save up so they can get their own place after the wedding.

  297. It’s almost the same here in the Philippines. The people who just graduated college/uni doesn’t really get the pressure of having their own lives. Here in the Philippines it’s actually much favorable to your parents if you live under their roof. And the time that you’ll actually get to have your own life is when you get married and that’s the only time when you’ll have to live separately.

    About the financial division regarding the bills and everything. The parents are still the ones who pay them but if you want to chip in just a little it’s highly appreciated. Living here in the Philippines if you’re from abroad isn’t actually expensive but getting a high paying job is quite hard if you’re not educated well. For example if you’re a janitor in the US they pay you hourly but if you’re a janitor here in the Philippines they pay you the minimum wage per day which is somehow around $10.00. And in the Philippines it isn’t quite known having some part time jobs even if you’re just a minor.

  298. Amy Marie Carovinci

    I’m a twenty-something from Long Island and it is INCREDIBLY hard to find a place here. Depending on where you look, it can be either super cheap (in a bad neighborhood) or forget-about-it expensive. If you have a minimum wage job it can be hard to find a place, so I do know that a lot of people will live with their parents. I think what stinks is that a lot of people my age want to be able to move out (myself included), but can’t.

  299. I think in the US it varies greatly. I moved away for a year after high school, then came back home to go to college, and got married at 21 and moved out permanently. My brother moved out when he went to grad school in a different state. My best friend is almost 40 and still lives with his parents, even though he has a full time job. I think most of the time, until they finish college, most people in the US consider their parents home their permanent home, even if they move for school or get an apartment with friends. When the economy changed, there was actually a trend of previously independent people moving back to their parent’s homes as they lost their jobs. I’m not sure if this has reversed as the economy improved or not.

  300. In Sweden you usually try to get your own job as soon as possible and it’s a dream scenario to live in your own payed apartment, it’s status and class.
    Almost all kids have allowance though, And my dad gives me extra but expects me to pay rent when I can afford it (if i still live home) but as long as I’m a student he will continuously pay for me in reasonable amounts, or I should consider a part time job if I have an expensive lifestyle. Parents are generally very generous in Sweden.
    We move out as soon as we can, but often supported by our family but the goal here is to be independent and free!
    There is also schools that could help you with apartments and stuff. But you can’t have the best right away, You will work your way up ofcourse :)

  301. in iceland we are all raised diffrently but the most people dont have much stress as being independent. Since the viking age the parents dont save up money for their children the spent it on them selves and the kids had earn their own money and it has held as a tradision here sort of. Since collage or universety isn’t that expencive we dont have to take lones. Since we dont struggle moving out of our parents place, its not ”lame” to still live with your parents in your late 20, but you are expected to move out atleast when you have children and you and your partner can aford to live on your own and the parents are not expected to pay for the wedding. Also i want to point out that every teenager is expectet to have a part-time job at the age of 16 and that includes to be working with school and then have summer jobs. So kids are saving up for years and then they can aford to move out at a young age.

  302. I am currently a university student in Latvia. I do not live with my parents, but they are paying for my dorm and give me food money. Actually, I have a job interview tomorrow, and if I am lucky, I will be able to support myself fully from now on.

  303. In Czech Republic is weird, if you are staying with your parents after getting job or getting married. Usually they support you if you are studying or you are jobless, but expect you do housewives jobs like cooking, cleaning etc. Some people like me, have part-time jobs during uni and paying parents some small amount for rent. Now I have from this month one year contract job, so I will pay them more for rent, but I wont move out, because I know, that job will end in year and after that I would need to move back, because I would have money for rent. But people sometimes ask me, why didnt I moved and I aswer that there is no need for now, because living alone in flat is lonely and I have more like tenant relationship with my parent, than parent-child relationship.

  304. Personally I feel really pressured about the need of getting a job and saving up money. Not so much to where I have to move out of my parents house, but just to do something with my life… it makes it really hard because I have a lot of social anxieties and I really dont know how to get over it, and on top of that I feel that everybody has tons of expectations of me. If its not people in my family, then its people at church, or people I dont really know well. Then they tend to be quick to judge my situation without really knowing..

  305. for those of you from countries where it’s common to stay with your parents until you’re married, is there any stigma for those people who are older and still unmarried (ie. in 30s+)? is there any time where unmarried ‘children’ decided that they should move out because they’re “too old”? or is that not really a problem?

    • i think when they are ‘too old’ their parents are old too. so they probably won’t move out anymore because they need to take care of the ‘old folks’. I think there might still be some sort of stigma if u r 40 but had never live on your own but people probably won’t ask you straight in the face. They might gossip about you behind your back tho.

    • in my country Singapore, there used to be this stigma. but in recent years, people who are in their 40s who still live with their parents arent looked down upon anymore, mainly because the cost of living has gone so high, marriage has become almost impossible unless you have a very lucrative pay.

      single people who still lives with their parents are being seen as people who takes care of their parents. there have been cases where the married sibling moved out and stops supporting the aging parent, where as the single sibling still does.

  306. Im Mexican American and I grew up in the States in a traditional Mexican house hold. From my own experiences living in both Mexico and the States, children are not allowed to be free loaders. Once someone marries, they are expected to move out of the house and start their own life somewhere else. Even after you move out, you are expected to help your parents, if you can of course. They will prob not be helped much by their parents, since the parents might still have children to provide for.

    While still living with the parents, it is expected to help out whenever you start working. For example, I’m 20 right now and my father just underwent surgery. Since I’m the oldest, I have completely taken over as the head of the family and I am now working to provide for my family of 4: mom, dad, little bro, and me.

    I dont know if this still holds true for modern families in Mexico or not. I’m just talking this from my perspective and how I was raised. Hearing from the freeloading really shocked me though.

    • I’m also Mexican American and I am also 20 years old. I go to university and though my parents don’t outright say it, they hope I do something with my life after I graduate (meaning they want me to move out). I’m having a hard time at school, but I have a brother who has autism and so I do try to help them with whatever I can. But sometimes I just don’t do the chores, it’s not because I don’t want to help, I just am barely trying to live my life. My dad tells me that if I don’t like living the way I do then I should just move out. But that’s not so easy when I have loans to pay for. I’m not sure how I’m going to get a job. I am even at risk of getting my financial aid taken away. And the worst part is that I don’t even know how I want to live my life, but at this point I’m just trying to get by. My ultimate goal is to get my license, a decent job and maybe even my own apartment. But I still want to live with my parents and siblings. I don’t feel comfortable living with anyone else except for a cousin of mine who is the same age as me. And I can’t live alone :( I don’t like being alone for too long I like company.

      • I know that feeling of not wanting to live alone >.< My father always tells me that I will always be welcomed to live at home for as long as I would like, as long as I am single. However, they still expect me to get a job once im older and help them out with bills and stuff. Right now though we are in a pickle and im trying to provided for the whole family while my dad is sick which is hard for a person who is 20.

        I wish you all the best! Fighting!! ^^

  307. I’d like to mention one thing on this video that wasn’t clarified very well (I am korean). Usually people pay a HUGE sum of money beforehand and they BASICALLY //OWN// the place while they’re living in it. They don’t pay rent, then just own the house and when they move out, they get that huge sum of money back. That’s how housing USUALLY works in korea. Yes, there’s rent, and STRAIGHT UP rent like in North America which is much more common now than before, AND There IS the option to pay a SMALLER HUGE SUM and pay SMALLER RENT to lessen the burden and then get that huge sum BACK when you move out, but most of the time it’s a straight up rent or no rent at all :)

    • omg that’s so confusing! So you are saying that you can buy your own place but you have to pay the entire amount? No mortgage??

    • Yeah, that’s one kind of rent, but supposedly it’s becoming not popular lately. Instead of paying, say, $20,000 key deposit plus monthly rent, some people pay $300,000 and no monthly rent.

      But supposedly landlords don’t want this any more, because the interest rates at the banks are sucking, and the interest they accrue is a lot smaller than it would be in just getting flat out non-refundable rent, right?

      • Ah I see what you mean! Yes, I agree! Though I feel like saying only one part of the payment system while the other two are still very much common (though not as much as in the past), would maybe give people a sense of false understanding- that was my only main concern :) Thank you for your reply, though!

        • No problem. Thank you for not being angry at us as well! Some people get very upset when we don’t paint the full picture, which we know we can’t do. Thank you for being so respectful in your comments :D

          I know we have to skip out on some points in our videos, because otherwise our videos would be 30 minutes long each. We also skipped out on talking about how kids take care of their parents when they’re older, which is another expense. But both ideas would have made for a lot longer video, when we were trying to get just a rough idea out there :D

        • We understand you guys are trying your best so I would like to thank you as well for showing the world about Korean culture :)

          That’s very understandable! It would be a handful to talk about one aspect without branching out too far and getting out of hand D: At the same time I feel like condensation of information should be done carefully since many people would think that the short, rough idea is ALL that there is to it, which we both know isn’t :)
          Thank you again! <3

        • Sorry this is out of nowhere, but does South Korea have nursing homes for the elderly?

        • Jackie Outlaaw

          Yes, but in Korea, it’s a huge stigma for children who put their parents in nursing homes.
          It’s considered disrespectful for those who took care of you for years.

      • Yea, I always wondered why there was jeonse. They say it’s to use the money to invest elsewhere but they could just get a mortgage, and let the weolse pay the bank interest, right?

      • I can confirm this. 800K+ apartment, people are offering upwards of 250K for the key money, but the banks’ decreasing interest rates isn’t sufficient to pay for the depreciation, taxation, etc.. It’s getting bad enough that most property owners with close to 1 million USD apartments are happy even with $400/month rental cash as they’re not overtly interested in the key money, no matter how large.

  308. I live in a small European country. Here it’s very common for people to live with their parents until they’re about 30. Most of them do that because they’re unemployed and rely on their parents financially. But I know several people with successful jobs who still live with their parents and spend their money on themselves.
    On the other hand, usually parents are NOT expected to pay for a wedding, apartment or anything for their children.

    • PS: This happens because it’s almost impossible to find a job in this country. People with prestigious university degrees can’t even find a crappy job. Even a part-time job is difficult to get. You’re forced to depend on your parents and feel useless.

  309. I’m from Costa Rica, here is super normal to see people staying with their parents until marriage or until they decide to live alone, however once the person has left the stage of education and they get a job they usually start helping their parents with their money. Also because it’s a small country, students don’t have need to move out, since it usually takes around an hour to get to universities (Mostly reside in the capital) so you don’t see a lot of dormitories and such. But like everything, I have seen some extreme cases of people in their 30′s still living completely of their parents.

  310. In England it’s common for people to move out and be independent from 18 onwards as that’s when you tend to go to Uni and thus when you move into Uni accommodation! Though this kind of varies depending on potential gap years etc or whether you even go to Uni as you may very well go straight into work – I’d wager the latest somebody is still living with their parents is around 21/22. After that most people will be expecting you to be preparing to move out if you haven’t already done so and if you’re happily living at home during that time people tend to see you as too dependent on your parents and without any drive or independence. It’s pretty common to get a job and leave home as soon as your break after compulsory school is done with though of course it depends on the person, how much money you’re earning and what your parents are like. I know someone who doesn’t want to go to a distant Uni all because of her mum’s influence – there are very little people here who agree that a parents influence should dictate a person’s life and so my friend is caught in the middle. But basically, in England, we have Uni fees that are really never paid off – you get 30 years to pay it off and you only begin paying it off if you earn over £21,000. If you never earn that much you don’t have to pay it back and once the 30 years is up the slate it wiped clean. People don’t really see it as a debt. Personally, I’m taking a gap year before I go to Uni and so will go to Uni at 19 instead of 18. :) Then I’m free baby!

  311. I also feel the pressure to be independent, but that’s the norm here in North America. My mom doesn’t apply it, my stepdad does. Why? I live in their second house and don’t pay much rent. It makes him crazy but the job market is terrible so there’s not much I can do. Interestingly enough, my mom knows that I will be leaving the area (probably even the country) when I finish my degree and she’s said she’d strongly consider moving as well.

  312. Where I’m from in the US (Wisconsin~) there is definitely a strong feeling like you have to start being independent right after you graduate high school. Even before I graduated high school, there was a lot of pressure to get a part time job. So you get a part time job and then you go to college (there’s a stigma against those who choose to wait before going to college, like they are going to become deadbeats or something) and again there’s a lot of pressure to be independent. I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s looked down upon if you live with your parents for the first two years, but once you reach your third year in college I feel like there is a stigma against people who still live with their parents. If you don’t have your own place, it makes you seem…I don’t know…lame? or like a baby who still needs their parents :l I’m only a sophomore and I already live in an apartment near campus. It’s just kind of expected and because of how big North America is (things are really spread out) you really can’t be as involved in campus life if you live with your parents. As far as real estate goes, it’s really easy to find cheap (however crappy) places to live near campus because real estate companies will just buy whole blocks of houses to rent out to people and, if you have roommates, rent isn’t too bad (I pay about $270 a month for just rent, but I’ve seen cheaper). Anyway, this was a super long comment! D: My badddd

    • Same way where I’m from in Iowa

    • I’m from the Midwest, too, and I’d say it really depends if you go to a state school and live nearby or if you go to a school somewhat far away, especially one that’s private and has a wealthier student (via parents) base.

      At my private school, about 1/3-1/2 of students don’t work at all and our parents pay for everything, particularly an apartment. One of my friends is “taking out a loan” from her parents for tuition but they’re covering rent with no expectation of being paid back. Some of the people who live off campus are paying for it from loans and a part time job. But, since we have to live on campus for two years, it doesn’t feel weird to have parents paying for the other two. A lot of people live on campus all four years, anyway, where it’s included with the tuition in the online system.

      My parents give me an allowance for necessary items and then I pay for things like Netflix and a new phone with my funds from summer jobs. I’m moving off campus next year and my parents will be paying for that, too. Granted, nearly all of my private school tuition is covered by my merit scholarship, so rent and living expenses would be comparable to them paying my state school tuition. Rent is steeper here because campus is between downtown and a couple of hospitals…it’s about $900 with utilities for my small, but private apartment a 15 minute walk away from the buildings I have class in. If you want to drive to class every day, then you can get down to $300/month with roommates.

      Anyway, I wouldn’t say there’s a huge stigma against being on your parents dime here. Our average parental income is in the top 10% of national family incomes so that’s probably a big part of it…

      But, at the state school where most of my friends from high school go, all of them had moved off campus into their own apartments by the 3rd year, though most had been on campus previously instead of at home.

      • So I guess it has a lot to do with where you’re from, backgrounds, what school you attend, specific situations, etc. I think that’s really interesting because where I am, even though we’re both in the Midwest, there would be a bad stigma that came with having your parents help you pay for everything, even though it’s completely normal there. To you, the way things are around here might seem unnecessarily difficult haha

    • trinigurl77

      OMGee you people have it cheap. I’m a student in Cali. Apartments while campus, while clean and have great amenities, are small and rent usually starts at $1200 a month. I have lots of friends who have up to 3 roommates to help cut down with the expenses. It works though because it seems like the 2 bedroom apartments are all built so they can house a total of 4 people. If was able to find a room for rent, much less an apartment for $270 a month, it would probably be in downtown LA and I would be fending off roaches the size of some k-pop group members. #nobueno

      • Seriously!!! My family used to joke around that in Cali even if you made 60k a year you couldn’t afford a cardboard box under the freeway b/c even two bedroom condos were going for up to half a million the closer you got to Orange county and L.A. or San Diego. I lived with my mom til I was 26. I started working first then decided to go to College. My parents didn’t really care as long as i wasn’t being lazy around the house and was moving forward in my life. I knew lots of people who lived at home at that age. In So. Cali it just wasn’t really an option unless you wanted student loan debt you would be paying off til you were 80. So it was work and go to school a little at a time til your done. My family at least seems like a happy medium between live with me forever, and get out the second you turn 18. They wanted us there but they wanted us to be building our future, and we knew it wasn’t going to be forever, but I think they wanted us to have a good life with as little student loan debt and as much education as possible. My family was pretty poor and couldn’t afford to pay for my schooling so living with them was one way to help manage costs.

        • Wow, you guys have it rough :l I guess the Midwest is cheaper than living on the east coast haha

      • “rent usually starts at $1200 a month.” that’s fucking crazy!

      • In central London, the average rent students pay for a room in a shared flat/house with housemates is about £150 in basic accomodation. PER WEEK!!! That’s about over $200!!!
        As it’s so expensive, there has been a growing trend of university graduates coming home to live after uni, with the expectation to pay rent to parents (although less than you would have to pay if you moved out). People generally do that until they have enough to move out, there is a stigma attached to living with your parents for too long.

    • damn $270 a month sounds really cheap, in australia Sydney you`ll pay about $150, $200 $300 a week for just a room if you are sharing an apartment, and units (apartments) inner city 1 or 2 bedroom can be around $400 to $700 a week depending, even more.

  313. Hi guys! I seriously think you should have talked about how people are expected to pay for their elderly parents. Because I feel it’s linked, right? I mean I paid for you until you were 30, now that I’m 70, you need to pay for me. It’s also linked with the lack of social welfare but please don’t quote me on anything, I don’t know much about Korea, ok? ^.^

  314. I haven’t seen the video yet but I thought I’d share what I know. I’m Indian and I live in the UK and since it is a Western country, many people move away for university because they want to get away from their parents and there seems to be a stigma attached to living at home. I’m only 18 so I can’t talk much but I think the moving out stage has been delayed until after university now because of the economy. A lot of my friends are applying to local universities because despite student loans, it would be too expensive to move out and go to another city, which is why I think a lot of them will stay at home until they have a job and can financially support themselves. Now, since India is a very family orientated society, it’s a different matter.

    What usually happens (now keep in mind that things are changing and it isn’t the case everywhere) is that you live with your parents. If you are a girl this is until you are married, at which point you go to live with your husband and his parents, and if you are a boy you stay with your parents and once you are married your wife comes to live with all of you. Now obviously people might move away for university and for work and it is a lot more common now than it used to be, but traditionally this is what happened and everyone used to live in joint families. Personally, if it is possible I would also stay at home until I got married , because they are my parents and there really isn’t any point in moving away, and then having to move somewhere else again when I get married.

    One thing I never understood though is why the Western world seems to be so against living at home. They’re your parents, they brought you into this world and looked after you, why is it so bad to still live with them? As long as you don’t spend your whole life dependent on them and actually have a job and contribute towards the household expenses, I honestly don’t see the problem. Is this a view that only I have or do other people feel the same way?

    *goes to watch the video now*

    • I don’t think there’s anything wrong with living with your family unless you’re just completely mooching off of them, but I’m American and individuality/independence is a large part of our national identity (sometimes detrimentally so.) It’s generally expected that young people move away from home either when they start university or when they graduate. If you’re still living with your family after that time, many people see it as a sign that you’re lazy and have no ambition, are taking advantage of your parents, or are irresponsible/incapable of taking care of yourself.

      I feel like this view is more common among older generations who blame “millenials” for living at home without taking into account the state of the economy or job market. Most students in the United States graduate with tens of thousands of dollars of debt from student loans and are either not able to get jobs or have to settle for very low-paying jobs just to pay off their loan interest.

      TL;DR: there’s a fairly common viewpoint here that your parents shouldn’t have to be financially responsible for you after you turn 18, but a lot of people don’t have a choice.

    • I think being independent is such a big deal in western countries because it also has something to do with being a financial burden to them (at least where i come from it feels a bit like that)!
      Housing and food etc are usually rather expensive in Europe and your parents had to support you your hole live. Now you’re old enough to have a job and to be able to take care of yourself, so you should move out. I would feel ashamed if would depend on my parents now that I’m in university. They spent so much time, love and money on bringing me up and making sure I would be able to find a good job and have a nice life, I just feel like I should stop being a burden to them. I love my parents and living at home is nice of course, but I think they deserve to keep their money and save it for later, when they’re retired or just spend it on themselves for once!
      (though it’s always nice if they help you out with some from time to time, makes life a bit easier!)

      Also I want to be independent and live my own life of course ;)

    • I think ti is just more about culture and family structure. Here in the US the typical family structure is nuclear, its typically just parents and kids. When parents get old they go to a nursing home, when kids grow up they move out on their own. Where as other cultures, the Mexican culture, your Indian culture and Asian cultures and perhaps others are more about multi-generational living. Where you expect and see great grandparents, parents, kids and spouses and grand kids all under one roof or in one area more like communal living. i think its just a culture thing and people tend to not be able to get out of their own bias, of their own culture to see another culture as being equally acceptable although different. I kind of like the idea of living with lots of family. I love my family and want to be near them, but at the same time am kinda weirded out by the thought of having others so close to me that they are all up in my business if you know what I mean. I like my privacy too. So to me a happy medium would be living nearby but not in the same house so we can have privacy but also develop that family bond and be near one another.

    • Yeah, I think it’s because of parents like mine…or rather my one parent. My mother is a control freak and I hated living with her. I didn’t have anywhere to go so I lived with her until I was 25 years old, then I moved with my aunt for 3 years before I finally got my own apartment. I love in Central California so everything is expensive and even when you have a job things are still expensive.

  315. Here in Mexico I’d say it is totally acceptable to live with your parents until you get married. There’s really no social pressure to leave home before that.
    There are a lot of universities around the country so many students still live with their parents while studying and don’t really have to move out.

  316. Finland is pretty much the opposite. Here we move out as soon as possible. And it’s normally because of your education. Because university is free in Finland, it’s easier to move out since you don’t have to pay fees. And also the government helps students by giving them student allowances. Without my student allowances, I wouldn’t be able to pay my rent. I’m 20 years old and all my friends are living on their own by now. Some of my friends even moved out when they started high school at age 15-16 (but that was mostly because the high school was in a different city or something like that). It would be weird here in Finland to meet a person who is 25 or older and still living with their parents. And we don’t take care of our parents when they’ll grow old. Here it is seen as the goverment’s job. But of course that isn’t always the case. And you still meet people who are 25 and still living with their parents (but that is seen as a weird thing)

    • Lindsey Miller

      Man Finland sounds like paradise compared to the amount of student debt chained to my ankles from the United States lol. *Daydreams about Finland*

      • It’s pretty much the same here in sweden, but it’s not as wonderful as is sounds. You’re under a lot of pressure to move out as soon as possible and those student’s allowances aren’t that big. I’m only 17 and still in school, but I’m looking for a part-time job so I can get my own apartment. Biggest problem is there isn’t a lot of jobs for young people that hasn’t finished school yet… *sigh*

        • It’s accurate what ssecrecy said about Finland, but I’d like to add that it depends on the city if you can survive only with the government’s student allowance. The allowance is enough to pay your rent, electricity and food if you live in a SMALL city, but like myself who is moving to the capital with the ridiculous rents, I possibly can’t survive only with that allowance so I have to take out a study loan. Some parents help their children, but as for me, I haven’t given any pocket money since I was 10yo. And like blacknightingale said, it’s the same in Finland, for a student with no profession, it’s difficult to get a job…

        • Courtney Gunnink

          How much is the tax rate in Finland, though? I’ve heard it’s very high but figured I’d ask an actual citizen of FInland :)

        • Lindsey Miller
          Lindsey Miller

          Who cares? look at all the stuff they get for it. lol

        • The overall tax rate was 45,6 last year (for comparison I think the US had 14-15 and Denmark 48)

        • Wow, you guys are fast. I’m 19 and I can’t even imagine myself living on my own in the near future. But I guess it also depends on the situation ’cause I do have a loooot of friends who live in apartments but most of them it’s beacuse they’re not originally from here. It’s actually quite common, as we’re in the city and our school is very well recommended. As for myself, I don’t think i’ll be moving out anytime soon as my schedule and school chores take basically all my time and energy :/

        • Mainy Åkerman
          Mainy Åkerman

          As a 22 year old resident of Sweden who still lives with her parents, I actually…agree. ._. There is a lot of pressure to move out. Like OP said it’s much, much easier to move out here than in America or Korea, but it’s still sometimes difficult. Thankfully, my parents are in the minority and actually encouraged me to stay at home. Partially because I’ve been a little late in the whole independence department…^^;; But they want me to leave only when I’m ready. But a friend of mine has lovely parents, you know no reason to gtfo but she left just two weeks after she turned 18. The allowance Satu said is so true! I’m almost done with college and thankfully that allowance has given a huge cushion to fall back on for my parents. They actually refuse to allow me to pay their rent since they think it’s their responsibility, so instead I just give them a bunch of the money I get. I use the rest to pay for food and entertainment. I’ve been very blessed with being able to live at home while going to school. I also learned very quickly to NOT take out any loans. I mean, school is free. Completely free. And I live with my parents so there’s no need.

          In my defense, most of my friends live very close to their parents. c; I know a boy who literally lives just down the road from his parents and cousins. People like to be independent but also highly value being with their families here.

          However, once school is done with I really want to move out ASAP. None of my friends still live with their parents and I feel like a burden. Us Swedes are really independent and I’m going against stereotype. xD Oh well, it can’t be helped.

          Ahh, by the way Simon and Martina!! Some of the comments being left on the video are really disgusting. I understand how infuriating the story of the lady who mooches off her parents and won’t even pay for anything but there are very inappropriate and abusive comments being made. Maybe I’m sensitive but a few really offended me, talking about abusing their children over that…So terrible..

        • It´s very smart of you to live at home while studying at the university(I guess it´s the university since you´re 22?). I know lots of people that actually manage to live on their own and survive on just the allowance from the government (I don´t know how, maybe they eat air?). For me, the allowance doesn´t even cover my rent, so I have to take a loan aswell (gahh…anxiety..). I also know a few that does the same thing as you, to avoid the loans they live at home while studying. I myself wanted to reeeeeeeeeeally move out when I was maybe 18, but couldn´t afford it since it was freaking impossible to find a job. So i moved out when I was 21 or so, what a huuuuge relief. It all depend on the family situation, but I think my parents wanted me out of the house. We have a close relationship, but I actually think they got a bit tired of me there in the end ^^

      • I know right…even with scholarships, they could barely cover anything…college in the US is so ridiculously expensive

    • same goes for Denmark

    • Yup. I’m a woman, soon 22 years old and living at home. There are people who think I must have some kind of problems cause I “still” live home. I work and go to school. Truth is, I really like living home. It’s free and I love my family. Why would I move out?

      • :D hey love ur name! Me too, I’m 23, currently living with my family, have a part time job, and I try to contribute some of the house and food expenses. I’ve had people asking me if I was living alone and, sadly, they give me this “look”. XD I love my family and I feel really happy and comfortable when I can see my family being all together and healthy. Also, my brother has autism and it’s really hard for me to just leave the family. I really really love my family and I want to help them any way I can.
        Mum gave me her credit card but I only use it when my parents say they need to buy things (mainly grocery shopping). I don’t ever use the credit card for my personal use because that just feels plain wrong, so yeah i just can’t understand why other people use their parents’ money to just blindly buy whatever the S*** they want. Okay my post is really long, imma shush now :p

        • Jackie Outlaaw

          It’s wonderful that you’re so caring about your brother :)

        • Bethany Powell

          I am the same, I actually do a lot of the shopping and cooking for my big family, so it’s not so much “failure to launch” as “convenient system”–my mom can travel for her business and not worry about what everyone’s eating, and I can keep trying to become a professional writer and take care of most of my needs with a part-time job.
          I’m 28. X) I had a bit of a crisis about this, but then decided cultural norms are for the birds anyway.

        • Ah! People… in my boat! Also 28 here.

          Well, being Mexican there is the cultural norm of women living with their parents until they marry. Parents see kids as their future insurance. I have no problems with this: my parents raised me and took care of me and now it’s my turn to take care of them.

          A couple of years ago Dad had 2 strokes which were a precursor to his failing kidney disease. Now he’s on dialysis 3 days a week.
          Me and my sister live with them and contribute to the household expenses and in turn we live rent-free.
          I do a lot of driving for them (especially at night because Dad is blind in one eye and Mom has trouble seeing in the dark, especially with all the headlights), cooking, shopping, etc.

          It’s just much much easier to work a part time job and pay for my own expenses (school loans, credit card bills etc) and then have time to spend with family and friends and doing crafty stuff.

      • Haha, I know, right? I live at home too, and I have the exact sentiments :P No rent, low food costs, caring family~
        But as I’m turning 26 later this year, I’m starting to get pressured to move out, haha (and at the same time it would be nice to live alone and freely too. Too bad it’s not free!)

    • I wish I went school in Finland. My life would have been so much easier. :)

      • Read the comment above. A Scandinavian said it’s not as nice since
        the government’s student allowance is not enough to pay off for everything in big cities.

        • Just a quick note here. Finland is not part of Scandinavia. Scandinavia includes countries with similar languages ( Germanic ) in a specific area of Northern Europe – Norway, Sweden, and Denmark. Finnish is not linguistically similar to its surrounding countries’ languages ( Sweden, Denmark, etc ), it is Uralic not Germanic. Finland is a Nordic country instead, which includes the Scandinavian countries plus Iceland, Greenland, Åland, and the Faroe Islands.

        • leelandluver

          Oooo, that’s interesting. Cool beans. :)

        • Jackie Outlaaw

          it’s not?????
          oh thank you America, for giving young students bad definitions…
          like the usage of “Asian”

        • Asian is appropriate though, for every country within the continent of Asia. Even referring to someone from India as Asian is okay, even though you “should” call them Indian. It’s just more common to call them by their country’s name instead of the general term. Cool fact: Russians are both Asian and European. The problem you’re probably thinking of is when people used to call Asians “Orientals”, which is somewhat degrading depending on the context and the person you say it to.

        • Jackie Outlaaw

          it is appropriate, but I don’t like how it’s only targeted for ONLY east Asians.
          Instead of calling people like me just Asian, they should refer to me as EAST Asian.
          Because the current definition used in North America is pretty much screwed up.
          Heck, I never understood why they call the obviously Asian people, South East Asians,
          by their origin (Vietnamese, Filipino, Thai) while us Koreans, Chinese, Japanese were just “Asian.”

        • I don’t know either, though I generally call people by their country’s name. Imagine how us white people feel being called “white” ( or Caucasian ) no matter where we’re from.
          “You’re Asian?” “I’m Japanese.” “Oh okay, Japanese then.”
          “You’re Caucasian?” “I’m American, with Finnish and British blood.” “Oh, so you’re white.”

          Not saying it’s not important, but it does get bothersome. I know how you feel.

        • I think a lot of people just say america, and then referring to Latin American countries as “South America”. For me its just casual speech or laziness. I don`t have the tendency or hear anyone else say “North America” unless its a formal speech and comparing regions for discussion.

          That may be whats happening with Asia and S/E asia, even then people I hear only say south east asia when they want you to realize they went through the southern Asian countries like Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia Laos etc, at least from my experience here in Oz.

        • I never thought that, oriental to me is a lovely way of describing asians, im half asian, but again as you say it does depend on the person saying it.

        • Oriental used to be used in a more disparaging way, I don’t see it as such personally though. I don’t think it’s such an issue now as it used to be, but I’m sure it can still be offensive to some.

        • it`s always good to know the history, thanks for pointing this out,,

    • I’m almost 18 and still in high school but my parents and friends are all asking questions like do I know where I am going to move or if I already have a place and stuff. My sister was living at home when she was like 20 or so and everybody were going crazy over the fact that she was still living home. Aika perus:D

    • Sounds like Denmark and Finland are pretty similar :) the age-groups you talked about are just about the same here, when it comes to when people tend to move out. I think it must be common for places with free education and student allowances, that people find their own place at an early age.

    • it’s the samne over in Sweden but then we are after all neighbour countires, I’m a 19, turning 20 year old student who lives on my own and also lives of my “student allowance”, but then not to be forgotten in Sweden we have to repay all the money we get during our years of studying, so as soon I finish my studies and get a job I will have to start pay back all the money I borrowed, but living with your parents after you graduate is a weird thing to do in Sweden.

      • in australia the government pays for accredited courses, including all university, you just pay for the books, which are usually around $80-$200 each. You get student discounts for transport and other entertainment things during uni, but its nothing to shout about, you pay back the university fees after you start working earning over $40K at 2% of your wage with no interest. It`s called fee-help, you also get a student allowance.

        some private colleges now have government accredited programs, some don`t, they can cost you up to $15,000 a year.

        International students really fund a big chunk of university budgets these days, especially from China at the moment. They pay huge fees to attend Australian universities. If it wasn`t for them our universities would severely lack funding as the government has cut back on education budgets.

    • Norway is very much the same as well. Young people often move from home because of school at 15-16 (free school, government allowance/possibility for a low-interest loan), and a lot of people stay moved out. But it’s also very acceptable to move back home between finishing school and building up the funds with a job (a lot of them would rather not though. Seems to be a pride thing lol). But the closer to 30 you get, the more pressure you get about moving out again :P
      I think it’s also quite common to not move very far away from the parents, although of course there’s exceptions.

    • Where the government gets all those money to pay for people? Wow, now I am jelly!

    • But you realize the student loan bubble is eventually going to collapse like the housing bubble did in America. And it’s not “free” if you’re paying for it in taxes.

    • in my country it’s around 1500 euros but I also get student allowance wich pays for both uni and transportation. Going to college in america kind of sounds like a nightmare with all that debt

  317. In Philippines, personally, I am 22 and I am still living in my parents’ house. I have a job but it’s not enough for me to leave my parent’s house or move somewhere. There’s no stigma here like the one in North America. And people who have part-time jobs are usually looked up to because they can work and study at the same time. Also, parents usually give money or allowances to their children to support their studies but I’ve never heard parents giving their credit cards to their children nor have i touched my parent’s credit card. Do they have credit card? i’m not even sure.
    Some of people still live with their parents even after they are married or have children. This kind of behavior is not really condemned in our society especially if your financially challenged. But it’s usually preferred for you to have your own home if you are already married. And usually, the youngest child stays with their parents even after they are married because they have like somewhat a “responsibility” to take care of their parents even they are married already.
    Philippine culture have strong family ties that some even have their own small compound where families and relatives live together closely.

  318. kaward

    So in regards to the culture context I am native and its sort of expected that I live with my family or around my family. Even though I am now moved out I will eventually have to move back home and live with and support my parents or have them move in with me. I also do have a credit card connected to there account by I only get to use that when I go on trips and I am expected to pay everthing back so as long as you pay it back I think it is OK. But I also don’t think I would have moved out if I had to make a 10000 dollar deposit I pay about 500 a month and on 70 dollars in bills with a room mate and our deposit was only first months rent.

  319. I totally feel that pressure to move out and become independent! It’s just that it’s becoming more and more difficult to do so. Like previously stated the economy isn’t doing so good and people are actually moving back with their parents. It also depends on where you live and how expensive it it. My family comes from Mexico and they have a more family oriented mind. Many of my cousins in Mexico still live with their parents but that might also be because it’s too expensive to move out. It wouldn’t be that weird for me as a woman to stay in my parents home until I get married. Also many people do move out because they want to do whatever they want and not hear the my house my rules speech a billon times. I am expected to follow rules and to contribute by cleaning. I was never given free reign with my parents credit card! Hell I wasn’t even given an allowance! Actually it would be embarrassing and shameful to use my parents money. I will eventually move out just not sure when.

  320. Kyle Duncan

    In the UK(Scotland) most young people do still live with their parents. However (like myself) most young people have a part-time job and help towards the running of the household (perhaps it’s just me) as well as using their money for buying extras or going out. Myslef in particular i would say i live with my parents yes, but i feel more like i am a tenant rather than their child free-loading off them. I pay rent, do my own laundry, i cook for the family, i do the grocery shops etc. I think in the UK there is a mentality of both (North America/Korea) , and since we are so multicultural some families of other ethnicities and religions have other arrangements.

  321. this is a very interesting tldr. you wouldn’t imagine that something like this would be different in cultures. it’s just something obscure that you don’t really think about. o when this popped up i thought “how are they going to make this a tldr?” but they did, and it was fabulous XD

  322. To be honest, I have no idea what it’s like here in Germany, I just know that both of my parents moved out quite early(they where 18/19 and 20/21, I think. At least it was somewhere around there xD) since they got married and had me and stuff. They told me I could stay with them for as long as I want, or at least until I finish University and get married or something idk.
    Though the thing is, I don’t want to stay with them for too long since I’ll feel like I’m being a burden and I like being independent. I still have a couple years to go though, so we’ll see how things turn out^^

  323. Leanne Cain

    Love that bun, Martina!

  324. Henry

    A poem:
    Dad wants me out
    Mum wants me to stay
    I don’t have money
    So life is going Mama’s way

  325. Lindsey Miller

    I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this since I came to Korea but I still haven’t been able to. But more about their mentality about living with their family. In America even though alot of college students are moving back in with their parents they still live separate lives (such as paying a small amount of rent, or living with a roommate mentality). But in Korea it seems like they still live with a parent child mentality even after they are adults. And some koreans I’ve met don’t have that independent feeling at all, growing up in America this literally blows my mind. I’ve tried putting myself in their shoes but it just doesn’t seem logical to me. Even if they live with their parents because of the high key money deposits (which is fine, totally understand) some just don’t have the drive to get out of that situation. Maybe they just don’t express that drive, I’m not sure.

    • Maintaining the “parent-child” mentality as an adult child is hard for me to understand, too. I can understand living with your parents to save money, but the parents still controlling when and where their children go, what they do, is strange to me. Or when the children complain about certain things, like their mom doesn’t make the food they want, but contribute in no way to the household.

      • I agree with you. My parents never tried to control my life so when I see parents trying to control their 25 year old’s life in drama it feels so weird. I’m not saying that drama necessarily reflects real life but that trope being used in like 80% of drama, that must be true somewhat, no?

        • I don’t think it’s just a trope in dramas. Watch Hello Counselor (a talk show; English-subbed episodes can be found on the KBS World Youtube page) sometime and find some concerns where adult children are living with their parents. The concern isn’t even about their adult children living with them; it’s often about something little that happens in their house. But I still think it’s weird that no one seems to care or think that their concern could be solved if the adult children moved out. For example, one concern was an adult son who hated that his mom made the same food every night (I think it was a kimchi pancake or something like that). But no one ever said that he might be able to solve his problem if he moved out or just made his own food! Why does his mom still have to cook everything for him?! Why can’t he cook dinner for a night?

    • As Korean American, I would say your observations are generally correct.

      I think the whole parent-child dynamic is different from “the west”. In Korea, most babies sleep with their parents. In US, most babies sleep in their own room, in their own crib. From the birth things are very different, and it does not stop there.

      I also thing the whole notion of “independence” is quite different. I think, to Koreans, that word conjuors up notion of national independence. Maybe it has something to do with its history of frequent invasion by foreign force…

    • I think it surprises you that asians don’t have the drive to be independent the same way we’re surprised that you don’t have the drive to get married and start a family. I’m in college and believe it or not, it’s common for people to share links to blogposts on facebook; about how much you need to budget and start to save to start a family. Even though they don’t even have bf/gf yet.

      • Lindsey Miller

        I mean its a bit more then just independence. Theirs been one or two koreans I’ve spoken to who want kids but don’t necessarily know “why”. And if you mention that they don’t have to start a family to be successful its just confusing. While i understand different reasons why they do want to start families, they seem unaware that their are other options.

        • I guess the beauty of knowing other cultures is the ability to evaluate the principles you take for granted. Why is independence so important? Why is family so important? Why the difference in ideas of responsibility and maturity? Have we took tradition/ ways of life and abused it for our own benefit, while being unaware of it’s intended purpose? I don’t know all the answers but I think experience and writings (like this blog post) will fill in the gaps with time.

  326. It kind of varies in the SF Bay Area. Cost of living is high here now, and I know of plenty of people that live with parents after graduating from college/university. I have a friend in his mid 30s still living with his parents. I’m in my late 20s myself and living with my parents.

    Houses here can range from US $300k to 1mil. 1BR in the Peninsula (Mountain View, Palo Alto) is 500k and up. 3BR in East Bay (Fremont, Newark) is roughly 500k. Apartment rents are roughly $1k/month.

    It really depends on your job; the pay, the location. Since the parents are older than the kids, they’ve most likely purchased a house when it was cheaper years ago, before the cost went way up.

  327. Bianca Peccioli Nonaka
    Bianca Peccioli Nonaka

    In Brazil is quite common to have kids are free loaders (at the age of 30-40) … There isn’t so much of a stigma here, it really depends on the family.

  328. I’m happy that this video is out as it will brighten my day slightly. However I’m still very sad to hear about the ship today and that probably a lot of persons now have passed away due to the cold water.

  329. This is super interesting and really relevant to my life right now. After living 6 years on my own, I am moving back in with my family. Why? Because I can’t afford to pay for rent/food/gas/living and my student loan payments. They are just too high.

    This is really difficult for me because of the negative connotations that moving back in with your family brings. I feel ashamed every time I’m like “yeah… I’m moving home next month.” People automatically are like, “so where are you getting an apartment at.” So when I say “well, I’m moving in with my grandpa. it’s rent free.” They give me that look like “oh, so you’re moving back home.” As in “you’re moving back in with your parents.”

    • I want to clarify, though, and say that I’m excited to be near my family again after 6 years. I just wish it wasn’t viewed as such a negative thing or like i’ve failed at life like some people make it out to be.

      I just need a little help right now. In my area of the U.S.A., though, if you are not extremely independent, you’re not trying hard enough.

      • I agree there is nothing wrong with living with family. I’m half South Pacific Islander and its normal to live in extended families. I’ve lived in Australia for 20 years now and from what I can tell young people try and move out of home as soon as possible. I’ve also heard the term used for people who move back in with family as Boomerang children.

        I’ve also moved back in with my family after many years living away from home. I get the same reaction with other Australians when I say I live with at home. However I work with asylum seekers and when they find out I live at home their reaction is always the opposite.

        • Alicia Fisher

          I just think it is odd because it is not like I’m bumming off my family or anything. I have a good job and it pays well. My student loan bills are just higher.

          I just tell people that right now it is a smarter decision for me. And I don’t like living by myself anyway!

          What are asylum seekers?

        • Good for you!! I actually quite like living with them even though I sometimes miss my own space.

          Asylum seekers are those who come from countries that are experiencing a lot of conflict like civil war and have traveled to other countries like Australia seeking asylum/safety.

  330. I live in the US but where I am from (Ivory Coast) it’s more like Korea.
    Men tend to live with their parents until they have a job and saved enough to move on their own (even if it’s to a small studio), and women tend to stay until they are married. It’s rare to see a young woman living on her own even in her mid/ late 20s. She will be with some family even if she is working. I guess it helps with the financial burden and gives the impression that your family is shielding/ protecting you for having men stay over at your place and you being promiscuous…

  331. Haha that Sweden joke, but seriously. People move out as fast as possible and since we get our uni’s founded and get both “allowance” and student loans. It means people usually move out when they are around 20 years old. :)

    From Sweden here xD

  332. First? OMG
    Well, to keep it short, you only move out when you get married, or if your job is stable enough to have the income to pay rent and/or buy your own place. Most people search houses, but lately there’s been a raise in apartment searches. (I’m from Peru btw)

  333. In the south of Europe we stay at our parents home for longer. In Spain, for example, it’s common that most university students live with their parents, and because finding a job is difficult, they may stay there until their 30′s

    • Same over here in Greece :) But then I’ve always found that Greece/Spain/Italy are fairly similar culture-wise!

      • Mariana Ferreira Albuquerque

        Together with Andorra-France-Portugal :)

        • Camille カミーユ

          I wouldn’t agree with that. I’m french and the common thing when you graduate from highschool and if you go to university, you necessarily look for a place to live on your own (or woth roomates). Of course if you live close to your university you tend to stay with your parents because it’s cheaper. But it’s hard to say that we live completely on our own, it depends on families. I personnally had a place for my self as soon as I went to uni but my parents place was still home. I just had 2 homes ^^. And later, for the ones that are still at home even after graduating from college, staying at home is definitely not a choice and it’s never really well seen. Culturally in France we don’t live with our grandparents and parents, I personnaly wouldn’t like to ^^

    • Mariana Ferreira Albuquerque

      Yes, I also live in Spain but in my country – Portugal – it’s the same. Even though me and my parents lived with my maternal grandparents before we moved out of the country.

      • A Portuguese Nasty! :D My cousins live in Aveiro. (family is from Lisbon and Porto, although I have roots in Algarve too)

        • Mariana Ferreira Albuquerque

          I’m from Aveiro (city), but I live in Northern Catalonia, in Spain, 8km away from France. My family is from Anadia, Mangualde and Barcelos, mainly. And my mom was born in Angola as well. :)

    • Its the same in my country Peru even though we are in South America and not Europe c:

      • Hey I’m from Peru too :) … It’s also very common to live with at least one grandparent. Maybe is the whole thing about taking care of your family, but I’ve noticed that having the elderly living alone or in a home is common in the U.S

    • is it because the south of EU is more conservative?

      • Tatiana

        Not necessarily. I think it’s just it’s more family oriented. It used to be more conservative in the past, but now, no one cares, really.

        • I think the problem is economic. I’m 27, I have a couple of part time jobs, I’m studying a master’s degree and living with my parents. I really want to move out and become more independent but because my financial status is bad and I don’t have a proper job to sustain myself with, I can’t live on my own or even share an appartment as some of my friends do.

          The financial crisis makes it very difficult for everyone in Spain to find a job that could pay your living expenses. Even for university graduates like me. That’s why a lot of people in Spain is “emigrating” to other countries (i’m definitely considering it an option)

          It’s true that we have a pretty family oriented culture but we also like to have our own space and be independent from our parents. I agree with Tatiana that it’s not because it is more conservative, not anymore, at least.

        • Tatiana

          Exactly, economy is the main step back right now.

        • Mariana Ferreira Albuquerque

          I myself had to emigrate to Spain when little, and I’m perfectly aware that I’ll have to emigrate again. At the beggining it’ll be hard for you but then you’ll get used to it.

      • Mariana Ferreira Albuquerque

        I would say it’s because of the economy right now.

      • No, spain isn’t conervative. The problem is economic.

    • In Brazil it’s almost the same, but here is more common to stay with your parents until you marry, and even if you moved out to study in a university, it’s normal to get back. But if you enter your 30′s and have a good job people will start looking strange at you.

    • I’m from spain and what we usually do is move out and live with other students during university and then go back to your parent’s house because you can’t afford renting or buying a house

    • I’m spanish and I’d say that’s mainly because of the country’s economic state. Young people can’t afford living by themselves now but in the past it was definitely looked down upon if you were 30 and still living with your parents. The “your living under my house so you have to cope with my rules” thingy also exists here

    • I disagree. There is the pressure to move out, it’s just really damn expensive.

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