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TL;DR – Living with Parents…FOREVER

April 17, 2014


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So, this week’s topic is on for how long people in Korea live with their parents. We tackled this subject in two ways:

We first talked about the real estate market in Korea, and how different it is than what we’re used to in North America. Namely, it’s a lot more expensive here, not just for rent, but also because the deposits that you have to put down here are exorbitantly expensive. As a graduate in Korea, if you’ve got student loans, there ain’t no way you’re moving out of the house, cuz you ain’t got that kinda money for a key deposit just lying around. Jobs in Korea don’t pay that well, either, so…how are you gonna move out?

The second part we talked about, though, is about dependence on parents. Being a parent in Korea is a HUGE financial burden, since you have to support your kids for a very long time. And if you’re living with your parents the desire to be independent isn’t really there, since – well – why would you if you could live there for free, right?

That last point is one I’m sure a lot of people are going to argue against. I’m sure there are many people out there that’ll say “Malarky! I wanted to move out and so did my friends!” So be it. From who we’ve spoken with, and who our friends that we consulted with on the matter have spoken with, this idea of “why would I move out if I got it good here?” is common.

Ok, enough summary: Soo Zee had some interesting stats and facts that she sent us that we were afraid to mention on camera, because if you get one pronoun out of order then it becomes an entirely different stat. Copying and pasting is so much easier!

We mentioned the term “Kangaroo Jo.” At first, the term Kangaroo was applied to people that didn’t want to get jobs, and just stay students for as long as possible and be dependent on their parents. Now, though, there’s a new breed of Kangaroos. Now, they’re people who, despite the fact that they are highly educated, and have have jobs and earn money, they don’t want to be financially independent from their parents. You don’t have to pay rent if you’re living with your parents! Also, a bit of clarification: the Kangaroo term isn’t really something you call someone, like you’d call someone a Freeloader. You Freeloader! You Kangaroo! It’s not like that. It’s more like a classification of people, like Millennials or something like that.

Some interesting stats Soo Zee sent us: 60% of University graduates in their 20s are ‘Kangaroos,’ while 38.7% of those have a full time job, and 32.9% of them have part time work, according to this site here. Also, interestingly, over the past decade or so there’s been a 91% increase of people in their 30s and 40s living with their parents, from this site

Ok, I’ll leave it at that. I don’t want this to get too proper or researchy, though I’m sure that’s a good thing – that’s just not what we do here that much at EYK. We’d like to get back to fart jokes, if possible :D

Let us know what the situation’s like where you’re from. I know for us the contrast in family dynamics between Korean families and our families was very surprising. What’s it like where you’re from? More Korean? More Western? Or something different? We’d love to read your thoughts on the matter. I’ve got my money on Sweden having things all figured out, for some reason. Must be all that cheap furniture!

Also, if you found this topic interesting, and like these TL;DRs of ours, make sure you click on this pretty button below right here so you can subscribe for more TL;DRs. It’s the financially responsible thing to do!



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TL;DR – Living with Parents…FOREVER


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  1. im Australian, in Brisbane most teenages move out ASAP. people question why you haven’t moved out if you are around 20+ my sister moved out just over 18, im 18 now and already feel the pressure to move out. i feel i will within the next 3-4 years so i will be about 22. i honestly feel i need to soon as well because i want to be independent

    1 year ago
  2. I grew up in the south (Texas) so everything is very family oriented. It’s very normal to move back in after college so you can save a bit of money to get your own place but you do pay a little for rent or food. The stigma though is you do not use your parents money, and you need to become independent rather quickly. If you’re at home when you’re 25+ (if you’re done with school) then you seem like a freeloader (at least to my own experiences with myself and friends). I do have to say though when your parents get older they normally move in with you, and you take care and support them. We are taught to respect and take care of our elders. I can’t imagine living with my parents long after college, I’d be ashamed.

    1 year ago
  3. That’s so weird. I’m Viet (living in US now) and it’s the complete opposite in my family back in Vietnam. I have 4 uncles-in-law living with my aunts and grandma in the family house. So in my family, it’s the guy that leaves their family to go live with the bride’s family. I also have some uncles/aunts that moved into their own place, but no aunts that left to go live with their husband. My old neighborhood in Vietnam, some of my married male neighbors are living with their wife’s family and some couples there bought the place themselves. I rarely know any Vietnamese women that moved in with the husband’s family. I don’t know, is it just different parts of Vietnam? I haven’t lived there in a while, so I don’t know how it is now with that old neighborhood of mine and new couples?

    1 year ago
  4. To add to what my other fellow Mexican-Americans are saying, you are expected to help your parents even if you move out. It’s looked down upon, if you have a really good job, and aren’t helping your parents financially at least a little bit. So if you are still living at home, even if you don’t work, you have to contribute to the household i.e. cooking, cleaning, etc specially if you are a woman.

    1 year ago
  5. My mom is pretty much kicking me out once I get into a university. We are originally from the Philippines, but we live in the US now. She wants me to get a job once I’m old enough for the requirements of places here, not so that I can pay rent, but so that I know what it’s like to have a job and earn money, etc. But she said once I turn 18, or once I go to college, I shouldn’t live with her because to her, it makes me seem like I’m still trying to be a kid by living with my parents. I think once I have a job, she wants and expects everything to be backwards — she wants me to be the one buying her things (like jewelry, bags, clothes, etc.)

    2 years ago
  6. I am currently about to turn 37. I live in TX, US. My parents got
    divorced when I was 12 and my mom became disabled a copule years later,
    just after we moved from CA to TX. My brother and I had to care for
    everything with very little money from our mom’s disability, so my
    brother started working in high school. My mom told me to wait a bit
    and then I started when I was in my second year of college. Times were
    really tough for many years. Eventually my brother and I got full time
    government jobs and co-signed on a manufactured home, so we took our mom
    off of everything. I guess it was a good thing we did start supporting
    ourselves full-time since our mom passed away at age 51 when I was 25
    and my brother was 24. My brother had just had a kid (not married, but
    she lives with us also). So it was a good thing we had already started
    being independent and learned to care for a home when we did; otherwise,
    when our mom died, we would have had nothing and nowhere to start.

    Its been about 11 1/2 years since my mom died and both my brother and I
    still keep up the home together. We have our ups/downs, etc. and my
    co-workers think I should “divorce” my brother, but we have always
    needed to depend on each other and have been able to do so.
    Technically, even though we both have full-time government jobs, neither
    of us could afford to live on our own and we even live in a cheaper
    city, state than our family who still live in CA, which is VERY

    So although we technically still live at home, we are
    self-supporting and co-supporting. In fact, my brother just let me
    borrow about $5k (from my nephew, but he knows I’m good for it since he
    knows where I live; next room over LOL) for another car since mine
    died. We’ve carpooled alot lately since his car is having trouble also.

    I have a great deal more debt than my brother, including those nasty
    student loans for degrees I don’t even use >:-o, but I have much
    better credit, which is why I had to co-sign and why my brother does not
    harass me since he pays a bit more each month than I do. He does have a
    slightly better paying job than me, but he has his son and the mother
    living here (she doesn’t work; only gets a little SSI), which is another
    story altogether.

    Anyway, our situation is a bit of a mix of
    both sides since we are independent and pay for everything ourselves
    together, but technically still would be living at home ir our mom was
    still alive.

    2 years ago
  7. A lot of Asian cultures have a strong family tie. The way I’m being raised, though, is more like: “We support you now, you support us later!” instead of a “Aww, my liddle widdle child, I’ll take care of you forever.”

    2 years ago
  8. From my experience, the UK is more like the attitudes you guys are familiar with in Canada. People want to move out asap – however, it’s getting harder and harder to moe out and buy your own place, especially if you’re on your own, so most people rent. I’m the only single person I know with a mortgage, and I could only do that because I saved up from 16 until 26 and the government have recently set up a ‘help to buy’ scheme for peeps like me (atm they own 20% of my house, I own the other 80% – so am only paying for 80% of the price of my house). Also my parents and grandparents helped! So most young people have to rent if they want to move out. Monthly payments are similar to a mortgage but renting has a much, much smaller deposit!

    The UK also has a lot of social housing, which is where people earning below a certain amount can live (renting) in a government-owned house for less than you’d pay on the private market. Trouble is, there aren’t enough of these houses around and there’s a waiting list that can be 9 or 10 years long!

    Anyway, I think my point was that in the UK, people WANT to move out but sometimes it can be really hard, so in a lot of cases there are people well in their 20s and beyond who still with their parents. I have two friends for example, both 27, both living at home despite not wanting to simply because they can’t afford to move out. Another friend, also 27, is just about to move out but she’s worked out that she won’t have much money left at the end of every month after bills have been paid and food bought – but she thinks its worth the sacrifice!

    2 years ago
  9. I live in Canberra (the captial city of Australia) and here the rent is very expensive. Easily $350 – $500 a week for somewhere mid range at best. Because of this, I don’t know a single student who manages to live out of home and there is still a massive stigma if you still live at home into your 20’s. We also have deposits that are usually 2 months worth of rent

    2 years ago
  10. In my culture (I’m from the sub-continent), leaving your parents and living by yourself used to be almost unheard of. There is no culture of letting your parents fend for themselves once they grow elderly or at worst putting them in a nursing home.

    The way it generally works is the daughters in a family move in with their inlaws and sons stay with their parents after marriage. You end up with a bunch of generations in each case living under the same roof.

    I wasn’t raised in my home country, so we’ve grown up like everyone else thus far. But now that we are getting older, I’ve noticed to idea of “moving out” is becoming a really popular option for a lot of my classmates and friends. For me it would be out of the question at the moment, because it isn’t the thing to do in our culture. In our culture, parents take on a huge responsibility to take care of their children until they are settled in life, but in return the kids also have to take care of their parents till the end.

    The idea of independence is pretty uncommon I would think. There might be a sliver of it in some people’s uni years (dorm/hostel life) but there’s definitely not a total detachment at any point.

    We’re the exception, because we live overseas in a Western country with no relatives nearby whatsoever. And I do think this culture is slowly changing but I wonder how that will affect the ageing population as a whole. Respect towards your elders is a huge thing in my culture and I wonder how that is going to change.

    2 years ago
  11. I’ve been living out of home for at least 10yrs, but the reason I left home wasn’t because I was told to go. My parents sold the house we called our home, so they could move to the country!!
    I live in Melbourne, Aus, and both of my parent were country kids. They moved to the big city when they were in their late teens and met in the big smoke.
    Fast forward, they got jobs, had one child (little old me), bought a house and lived the dream. During this time they taught me the importance of earning your own living and being responsible. But apparently the call of the wild was too much for my parents. Just as my last year of high school started, they let me know they wanted out, and bought a country property. So for my final year of high school I knew that once I finished, my parents were leaving home. Talk about having to grow up and figure out what it was all about!!! Towards the end of the year an auction was held, and the place I had grown up in, was sold to a bunch
    of nuns. I now had no home to call my own anymore
    From that point I spent some time at their property, and time in the city with friends, until I managed to rent a place with a flatmate from another state. The big thing was getting bond together (a form of Key money, but only an extra month of the rent money) which wasn’t too bad, as we both had shitty menial jobs. Ho boy, did my parents have to help out in some cases, but never did they just expect me to use them as a source of income. I really think it all comes comes down to your upbringing, as well as your own expectations as to what the world owes you.
    On the flip side, I am now married and live with my husband in a small but convenient apartment near the edge of the city, but we just haven’t been able to save to get our own place. Our rent, bills & expenses just trump being able to make any meaningful savings (plus the fact my husband has decided to go to uni means less money (but seriously I am so proud of him for following his dream, I’m happy to live in a kick-ass apartment that is just within our mean) but is still able to survive with no savings)
    What this means is that I don’t have the monetary support to buy a house right now, but I have a better chance to rent one that Sth Korea does.
    Wow, I apologise for the waffle, but I needed to let you know what my experience was.
    That is the best thing about this comment section, I feel safe enough to offload ^_^

    2 years ago
  12. Well in Israel the things are a bit different, I mean in America some of the people move out even when they’re 18 to go to college but in Israel that cannot happen, since in the age of 18 (both boys and girls) have to go to the army for 2/3 years even when they’ll get out of it in the beginning of their 20’s they wouldn’t have the money to pay for the university, not talking about an apartment, especially in the big city’s. So some of people get a lot of help from their parents and get a “loan” (that you never actually pay back) and rent something with another students (or not students and just people who can’t afford to live alone) and some people just stay to live with their parents, it’s not uncommon to see people (mostly students) in their 20s and even in the beginning of their 30s living at their parents house.

    2 years ago
  13. im 11
    its all good
    ill live
    dun have to worry
    ill graduate high school at 17, and finish uni at 21.
    i think ill be staying at home until 21 at least.
    because you literally can not buy a house here
    or rent one
    the pricing is way too high-
    and in 10 years, its only going to go up.
    but then again, in 10 years, my parents will be 65 and retired.
    which means i will literally have no help.

    i am overthinking this
    why am i even thinking
    i should be doing my ag assignment-

    2 years ago
  14. Haha in Singapore it is practically IMPOSSIBLE to move out because you can’t buy an apartment unless 1) You’re married (hence the joke of Singaporeans, instead of proposing with a ring, they propose to buy an apartment first. Because you always need to secure your future first XD.) 2) You’re above 35 (martial status not considered). Sad.

    Probably the only way to live with your friends (as students) is the dormitory but again, very little universities and colleges have dormitories.

    2 years ago
  15. Well in Caribbean, it doesn’t matter if you’re old, you can stay if you’re not married/ divorced but once you’re married you should move out as a courtesy to your parents.

    2 years ago
  16. Ah, this is such an aching spot for Southern Europe people…I’m Italian and I’m 27…of course I’m still living with my parents, since even if you wanted to move out, Italian economic crisis is really serious right now…I graduated with honor four years ago, I got a scholarship every year while I was studing…but after my five years degree in “Public Communication”, even till now, i didn’t get a real job and I’m working as a journalist almost for free and doing an home tutoring part time job to help my parents even a little…Sadly enough, lot of Italians of the same age, are living in the same situation: it’s hard, really very hard to work without being paid as you should and being so dependent on your parents who paid for your studies, hoping you’ll get a job…truth to be said, anyway, here in South Italy, staying with your family even when you are an adult is not a strange thing…this is indeed a similarity I always noticed about korean culture…in our culture, the idea of family is one of the most basical and strong, and often you’ll find really big families living togheter in the same house or really near to each other…we care and help each other a lot, since the governament is not as efficient as in Nothern Europe and doesn’t offer you much (only some allowances for elderly and disabled people, not enough, however, to survive alone)…of course there are people who think differently (for example, in Nothern Italy, and in big cities in particular, there are stronger ideals about indipendence and economic autonomy, even for the youngers). It all depends on what kind of family you grow up in…

    2 years ago
  17. In the U.S some parents (aka like mine-_-‘) are hounding me to get a job… now i know that I need to get one but I do believe that its all an attempted to get rid of me and I’m only 18. Well on the other hand I do come in handy during tax season so I think they will let me stay a little longer. Just kidding, they love me too much to get rid of me. xD

    2 years ago
  18. I really have nothing to say on the topic. I just like your cute shirt Martina. :)

    2 years ago
  19. How would I put it…

    My parents were born in Mexico in the mid 50s, and moved to the States around the begining of the 80s after marriage. So I will speak from my point of view with my large family. We were raised to believe family is important, to look out for eachother. An aunt has her two oldest sons livimg with her (oldest is near his 50s) who can’t hold a steady job while the youngest (40s) is renting a house but still lives with my aunt. Cooking, laundry, and sleeping as well. On top of that, his son is also staying with them during weekdays AND other grand children as well. I can’t really say anything but since I’ve been told multiple times the story if the hardships faced, I just shrug my shoulders. Another aunt has her two boys living with her as well, oldest of 30 has moved out but returns because of the economical support he is in the house hold, the other of 25 simply works in temporary employment in construction. Another family member has bought the neighboring houses so her married children can live right next door. So thats five houses in total, one on each side, one behind, and one in front crossing the street with her house in the middle. No such thing as privacy I guess.

    Yes I understand the importance of being independent, but I can’t seem to fulfill them. I have taken multiple “experimental” drugs for my heart condition. You can imagine a student in the medical field searching for a job while under heavy side effects from medication. I had to stop my job search when my mother suffered appendicitis (she’s diabetic) so I’m thankful I knew enough to nurse her back to health. I have looked after other family members as well after they have had surgery done (diabetic as well). I find it difficult now to find a job, who would hire a 25 year old who never worked 7 years after graduating high school? So I did the only thinh I know how to do and returned to school.

    Its not uncommon for me to see children still living with their parents after high school. Paying for a car, insurance and school is expensive even if you work part time but they move out when they get married. My older sister married right after high school, she tried to attend college while working but was forced to drop out and decided to work full time. She isn’t happy with the idea of me being 24 and still living under my parents roof, but I’m not entirely free loading. I help around the house a lot more since my mother can’t do most of it by herself (and I’ve been keeping a close eye on her health), I baby sit for family and friends, help with cake orders, make jewelry accessories, I even have commission orders for tattoo designs. I may not be employed but I have means of getting some money to help for whatever I can, even if its just for paying my student loan and my cell phone. I try to find a way.

    Moving out after high school is seen as important, to become independent. It is harder to do so in this economy, you would need roomates or have a nice sum in your bank account. So more and more people are deciding to live with their parents, and I can’t blame them. I believe there is a difference between ‘living with’ parents and ‘free loading’. My parents let me use their debit card twice, and I stillddidn’t use it, it felt wrong. Now, there is an urgency for me to find a job since my father is going to retire in two years, I have no intdntion of moving in with my older sister who has made a new hobby of putting me down for “free loading” or to go with my parents back to their homeland.

    Ah, my apologies, where was I?

    Anyway, I am not one to judge those who still live under their parents roof, but if you have the means to be by yourself or to help with bills, why not do it? I was shocked about the miss spending her money on supporting her favorite group, but every parent has a different way of being. At least talk to the woman to convince her to help pay at least one utility bill, no? Also, I believe we know a few mothers aho want their children with them, holding on to the umbilical cord and not letting go. Then again, every society has different values as do families as well.

    2 years ago
  20. In Indonesia, there aren’t any pressure to come out of the house. Usually we start to move out from house when we are married. Before that? Commonly people will live with their family. Some people need to rent a house because they work outside town but it is not like they move out because they are pressured to, it was more because it is convenient. Their family will urge them to comeback home when it’s holiday so, yeah…
    People here is like to save money so they can buy a house (not just renting it), so living with family is very very helping. Having a house is very expensive here… :(

    2 years ago
  21. Really really interesting TL;DR guise!!

    I’m from Montreal so I totally understand all of your reactions to these things, haha… In Japan, i don’t think it’s as bad as you guys have it because, although it is very expensive to move out, the deposits don’t range into the 10,000’s… like, when I moved to my tiny appartment in Tokyo, it cost me about 3,500$ (i won’t be seeing that money again though, but that’s another story…) and my friend who lives in an apartment twice my size paid about 4,500$. so it seems a bit more doable. but yeah, most people tend to live with their folks for really long and there’s no bad stigma associated to it.

    also, as far as i know, it’s not “on” the parents to pay for weddings and houses for their kids and all that. (some families do it, but it’s not like a requirement? i could be wrong, but one of my friends just got married and though the parents helped, the fees were trust onto the married couple…) however, the children are expected to take care of the parents in their old age, which is often why you’ll see married people living with their parents.

    oh and here, they call the people who refuse to leave home “parasite singles”. meaning single people in their 30’s or older who have jobs and are mooching off their parents and spending all their money on leisurely things, and there is a kinda bad stigma associated to them.

    2 years ago
  22. Hi Simon and Martina,

    My name is Cristina and I grew up in
    America (Miami, Florida) but my family is from Cuba. In our culture (at least
    from my experience) gender plays a big role in whether or not you move out of
    your parents house. (This is not everyone but the majority or what I have been
    exposed to. My family and the other hispanic families that I have come in contact with are usually very traditional.)
    If you are a boy (18-20 years old) who
    is in your last years of high school, graduated high school, and/or in your
    first two years of college you are expected to get a job and give some of your
    salary to your parents if you plan on living with them. If you go away from
    home for college you are still expected to get a job but your parents will most
    likely send you a little money now and then to help you out. Once you reach
    (23-25 years old) you are expected to move out of the house and find an
    apartment or something.
    This situation is different for girls.
    Girls are not really “allowed” (I use this word loosely) to leave home. Your
    parents just don’t want you to. This has to do with the roles of the people in
    Hispanic families; it is very male centered. The men are strong, they think
    that they are in charge, and do all of the hard labor. Women are the “weaker”
    ones; they are supposed to be submissive to their husbands (most are not. The
    women are usually the ones who control everything), and do women’s work (clean,
    cook, take care of the kids, etc.). Girls are expected to stay home, help with
    the housework or younger siblings, study, and go to school. Most parents do not
    want their daughters to work or study away from home. Remember women are
    “weaker” and something could happen to them. They only move out when they get
    married and yet are still expected to live relatively close to home and visit
    very often (minimum once a week). Women can have jobs, any job they want. They
    just have to make sure that they can also take care of all the “women work”
    Girls are also expected to take care of
    their parents as they took care of her. Hispanics don’t really believe in
    nursing home or any elderly care facility. The daughter is supposed to take
    care of her parents as her mother takes or took care of her parents. As a
    culture we families are very tightly nit and even through divorce you still are
    close to your ex-in-laws. I would guess that that seems a bit weird.
    The son on the other hand can get away
    with visiting twice a month. Since he is the head of his own family now, he
    makes the rules. His wife, if she were also Hispanic, would have to visit her
    family often her family, as taught to her.
    Since, the last generation (my
    generation) of my family was mostly born and brought up in America this causes
    conflict of the traditional views because we didn’t grow up with that stigma
    prominent in our lives. We had the example from our parents but not from
    American culture.
    I hope that this wasn’t too boring or
    long. Have a wonderful day.

    Cristina B.

    2 years ago
  23. I’m Vietnamese but was born in Australia
    1) All my family that are here in Australia live very close to one another. All my cousins pretty much when to the same high school and the same suburb
    2) I am now in my second year of university and I’m still living at home. This has never been strange or weird for me. It was what was expected. When I went to university I had found out that for some reason not a lot a of people had moved out. Even the people that grew up in a westernised families. Most of the people that move out were students that weren’t local students. Note: In Australia it is rare for students doing their undergraduate to actually move to another state for university. When I look at North American university students I’m like oh so independent.
    3) My parents don’t use credit cards. (They don’t trust the word credit in front of card). But we do use debit cards. I have never seen my parents one. But they got one made for myself and they give me my weekly allowance each week ($100). I pretty much use the money though until I have to pay for my textbooks and fees.
    4) Most of my universities is covered until I graduate and get a job by government program (HECS/HELP). Which all most all students go one regardless of their family’s economic background. But I pay what I can here and there. My parents did help me this one time with this money.
    5) As jobs go I current don’t have one. But in Australia I would say that as a university student its pretty common to have a job. Just not all people have jobs as students and your not judged if you don’t have a job. Not having a job I would say I common in my degree (science) which classes are five days a week and with classes that start at 9 am I know a lot of students have to wake up at 6 am just to get there on time.

    2 years ago
  24. Sometimes it can be very hard to be independent. I moved out of my house at the age of 17 here in America and was labeled a runaway because I didn’t have my mother’s/court’s approval… But because of my home circumstance (lots of abuse), I needed to be out on my own and I was working a Mcdonalds job to cover rent and food money. Later I started college almost 18 but still 17 and had to struggle with not being able to declare independence and get financial aid (which I really really needed), and had to rely on some loans but that didn’t even help and I ended up homeless for awhile.

    BUT IT WAS A BLESSING IN DISGUISE! As I could finally go around my parent’s giant income and claim independence as a homeless/in danger of being homeless young adult. Now i have financial aid, am slowly paying off all my debts, and am in college full time about to graduate from my bachelors! For me it was necessary to be independent and once homeless I had to rely heavily on food stamps, food boxes/shelter supplies and even now I am couch surfing because my debt does not allow for me to put down a rental deposit because they don’t want those with bad credit. But by summer 2015 I plan to be living in my own apartment in the city with room mates and a job plus starting my masters. BTW I am not counting student loans hahahhaa because I’m not paying those until after I graduate and because those are what are helping me get out of medical bills and loan debt from bank currently…

    LIFE CAN BE SO HARD AS AN ADULT, I advise while in college/university staying with parents or family because so much can happen so fast and you could end up homeless like me

    2 years ago
  25. I’ve lived in the southern part of the USA all my life. Its understood that once you graduate high school you move to a dorm for college then an apartment afterwards. If you don’t go to college you get a job and an apartment shortly after. It’s not abnormal for children to live with there parents but we, yes I still live with parents, don’t go around screaming it at the top of our lungs. I’m 23 still living with my parents and never moved to a dorm. I work with elementary schools kids and when they found out I lived with my parents they were shocked I hadn’t moved.
    Children are expected, when they move out, to be able to support their new family and their parents as they get older. Even buying a house with enough room for their kids and their parents.

    2 years ago
  26. I’m from the US, but I think my family’s experience is atypical for people my age because of a generation gap. See, my parents were older than the parents of my peers. I was my mom’s 42nd birthday present (she was a child during WWII) and my dad (a child of the US Great Drepression) turned 55 the year I was born. I have a brother who’s older than I am.

    In my parents’ generation, you stayed at home until you were married, even if you had a job (especially if you were a woman). So they didn’t push my brother to move out, and because they were older, my brother stuck around because it was cheaper *and* he was helping our parents out because there were in their 60s/70s. While he was there, he had a fulltime job, helped with bills and fixing stuff around the house (particularly after our dad passed away at the age of 79).

    He didn’t have a girlfriend at any point, still isn’t married. I love him dearly but he has that buddy/geek/brother vibe which has made it hard to get a girlfirend… but he hasn’t given up looking for the right person!

    I’m the one who insisted on getting out. Back then I thought of it as escaping. Except for 1 or 2 summers during college, I haven’t lived at home since I was 18. Mom understood, but Dad was confused as to why I didn’t come back home and never understood it.

    Among our peer groups, what my brother did was odd, but no one really made comment about it as far as I know… probably because no one was going to say that he should leave our elderly parents to fend for themselves.

    2 years ago
  27. Hey I’m from Holland. The Dutch youngsters leave their home around 18-21, most of them. But financially they’ll get support from their parents, if you are lucky [most people are, they just don’t know yet]. Sometimes even the government will give you a helping hand, if your parents aren’t filthy rich. Medium rent is around 500 for a room.

    My situation: Living home student, waiting for that job that i’ll get soon very soon.

    2 years ago
  28. I think in the UK we have a slight stigma with people still living at home as an adult but I think the stigma is changing because of the soaring house prices. Back in ‘the old days’, it was common for people to move out when they get married. Well that’s what my parents did. But now because people are spending time building careers or what-knot before marriage, and with house prices getting increasingly expensive, it’s harder to move out so people are now accepting the fact. I’ve read that most uni grads move back into parent’s house when uni is finished. I never moved out for uni because campus was just down the road from me, so I don’t have experience paying rent and bills. But I am at an age now where I want to be independent!!! It’s so frustrating! It doesn’t help that I live in the most expensive county. Damn you family! why did you have to settle here! My brother’s a kangaroo jo. He could’ve easily saved up for a place but he spends on other stuff, also my mum is too motherly towards him! >_< I am curious as to what my friends do when uni is over. Some of them have stayed but I reckon some will move back home.

    2 years ago
  29. Out of all of my siblings, I am the only that went to a different country and be independent. I don’t know if it’s in Indonesia as a whole or only in my family, but my parents supported me throughout college. It is hard to get a job when you are overseas and as far as I know, in Jakarta, it is hard to get a job while you are in college. It’s either college or job, hard to do both because the schedule would clash. The odd thing is, now after I experience of living out of the house for 3 years, I want to move out…. but then, both of my parents not allowing that…. living with the family is not bad, but sometimes you want to be alone and be free…

    2 years ago
  30. In Hong Kong, it is very common for young graduates to stay at home, not because of their independence to the family, but mainly due to the skyrocketing rental value in a super small department. It would be a bonus to parents if they do not move out, since they can share the burden of rent. In my opinion, Hong Kong graduates have a very strong sense of independence, most of them are paying a sum of money to their parents to support their living or pay for the expense of themselves when living with their parents. Despite the abnormally high residential value, Hong Kong youngster are best known for aiming on buying a residential as soon as possible. I guess this is also one of the prove of being independence. But if saying would anyone feel ashamed of staying with parent, I guess not, but it would definitely be a bonus if you are not living with them.

    2 years ago
  31. I’m a 23-year-old Korean currently in the middle of… “negotiations” with my parents. I’m making enough money to support myself, to pay my own rent, and I’m currently living on my own. This is probably only possible because I live/work in North America.

    Meanwhile, my parents are trying to convince me to move back to Korea.

    Them (read in Simon’s enthusiastic voice): You want independence? You can stay in a separate place and pretend like you cook for yourself and do your own l aundry! We’ll pay for it! (Said place is about a block away and belongs to my brother.)
    Me (read in Martina’s practical voice): What about work? I have a job in the U.S. What will I do when I go back to Korea?
    Them: Don’t work!
    Me: ??? How will this make me balanced, self-sustaining adult? How will you guys save money for retirement??
    Them: ?????? We love you!

    Haha… I love them too. Anyway, for them it’s almost like I’m rejecting them by not living with them! There’s a thought.

    (By the way, I’m loving the discussions on this board. Probably my favorite part about your blog, apart from the lovely vids)

    2 years ago
  32. I’m in Washington, the northwest, and I can’t say for sure what it’s like, except from what I know from people. And that is…. stay with your parents forever!!! Why move out when you can live with them for free? I knew someone who was living with her parents, until they told her that her boyfriend had to move out (because he was living with them and they were both freeloading). So they moved in with the guy’s family. At least she has a job now? I also know two friends who are living at home and can’t find work at all because our economy sucks. One of them is attending college. They aren’t in a hurry to move out, either. My sister is living with our parents because it’s easier to raise her kid. But she pays rent. My sister-in-law lives at home because she feels most comfortable there. I stayed at home until I got married. That was always my plan. I didn’t have to pay rent as long as I went to college. My husband, on the other hand, moved out as soon as he could lol

    2 years ago
  33. <3

    Hi! Here in Argentina (I’m not Argentine, so it’s from what I’ve seen), it’s pretty common to see adults living with their parents and even raising a family of their own in their parents’ house! I’ve noticed that the majority of people here get fed up of living with their parents by the time they turn eighteen, so they move out and live on their own for a while, only to return later in life after getting tired of paying the rent on their own. Of course, this doesn’t apply to everybody. Oh, and I’ve noticed that young adults tend to get criticised if they’re single and still living with their parents, but if they get married and bring a wife home, nobody really criticises them. I think it’s because people understand that it’s difficult to financially support a family, so living with parents is a lot more convenient. Whereas if you’re single, grown-up and still living with mom and dad, you’re looked on as a big baby who’s scared to leave home, especially if you don’t work to help pay the rent.
    That’s from what I’ve seen. :D

    2 years ago
  34. We may have quite westernised mindsets here in Singapore, but we stick by traditional family values as well. Its common to stay with your parents until you get married. However, some points to note:

    1. Yes we choose to live with our parents but no, we do not free-load on them. More often than not, its due to strong family bonds, and being able to take care of our parents as they get older.

    2. Once we start working, we give our parents money and contribute to household spendings. In fact, the ultimate goal is to provide for our parents the way they provided for us. We term this fillial piety and we take it seriously!

    3. Education and housing in Singapore is notoriously expensive. I paid $25k in university fees. Also, you cant get access to public housing unless you are married or above 35yo. Private housing here is normally above 1mil.

    4. Parents are not expected to pay for weddings/cars/credit card bills/whatever. They are not ATMs!

    2 years ago
  35. I really got a mix of things. I was born in the US, but my parents are Dominican immigrants. My parents expected me to move out because what I wanted to study for college was something that you honestly couldn’t get a good education in my home state, but there was no opus for me to move out, in fact my parents wanted me to try to stay a bit longer and go to the community college because they were afraid I wasn’t ready. I know that if I had stayed they would not force me to pay anything if I was going to school.

    I ended up moving to another state that is quite far away from where I lived, and they’re ok with it, but I think they wanted me to stay much longer than I did, like move out when I get married sort of thing, (which knowing me would be like late 20s). I was the one that was like “HELL NO!” I live with my S.O. of over a year in our cheap apartment, living off of a small paycheck and a mix of grants and loans. I like being independent, and while the majority of Americans feel shamed when they live with their parents for so long, since the US is a mix of cultures, there will be parents who grew up in other cultures that completely disregard that stigma.

    2 years ago
  36. In Puerto Rico it’s normal for women to live with her parents until she gets married the understanding being that she will go from taking care of her family to taking care of her husband (fun fact in Puerto Rico we are trained to cook and clean for the men in our family as young as ten). The men are expected to move out and make money to support his family, this often includes mom and dad. They can live at home when they are in college but any longer and they will be seen as babies. On the other hand if a woman hits her thirties and is still living at home it’s looked at as kinda funny, mostly because it means she hasn’t found any one to marry her. In big cities though you will find many young people still move out and become independent early because they have become “Americanized”.

    2 years ago
  37. In India, you might spend your entire life at home with your mom and dad, like my dad (huuuge family yo) , or move to a completely different city, like my brother (him and his wife in an apartment). either way. your parents will accept it.
    Parents pay till you are through university, which includes fooding and hostel fees and even shopping.. then marriage as well… they may choose to pay for a new apartment and appliances as well :D
    You don’t get part time jobs in India at all… very few places actually have that.. so you depend on your parents. Once you get a job you are alone.. and sometimes parents may depend on you. two way street i guess..
    oh and… my parents don’t have credit cards.. T.T

    2 years ago
  38. in American as they said we have that stigma about living with your parents. Well my best bud is from a Chinese family she finished collage and she has a full time job. but she still lives with them. I understand that she wants to pay off her student loans. That after she pays them off that she wants to move out but i feel like she hasn’t tried to take steps to become more independent like cell phone, car, car insurance her parents pay for all of them. Cause when i was 18 i was paying for cell, insurance, and bought my own car when i was living with my parents.

    2 years ago
  39. As an Asian-American, I never got an allowance. And my parents didn’t want my brother and I to leave home to go to college. But that’s because college in the US is very expensive. Both my brother and I were lucky to get full rides to college. So when my brother left home (I still live at home), all my mother had to pay for was his apartment and his food. However, both of us were forced to go out and get a job and pay for our own food and clothes and stuff once we entered college. In high school, I had to bring my food from home and my brother got free/reduced lunch.

    I did get a chance to go back to my parent’s home country and I really saw the difference, which opened up my eyes to the cultural difference and why my parents wanted me to stay home. In Vietnam, where my parents are from, the children stay either a) at home with the parents, or b) in a house near or connected to each other. My cousins over in Vietnam stay home with their parents, and most cannot afford to go to University. Also, girls do not leave home until they marry. And even then, they move to their in-law’s house and take care of the husbands parents. This is very different to over here where we get married and we move out right away and we only come home for major holidays.

    2 years ago
  40. I am Norwegian-Paraguayan. And see the situation from both sides.
    Here in Norway the kids move out as soon as they turn 18. They start to study in a bigger city and move in with other students, very similar to North America. But they can move in again after they are finished to save up money.

    But i have also lived in Paraguay and Peru and experienced grown up people living with their parents, not only them, but with the wife/husband and 3+ children!
    I have a couple that I know in Peru, that were engaged for 5 years, got married and lived in their parents house, but not together. They lived apart for 3 hole years because they didn’t wanted to move out of their parents house, and didn’t want to move in with their in laws (?). And when I asked them why they didn’t got a place of their own, they looked at me like I was a freak from mars. After 3 year, the wife had to give up being pregnant and move in with the husband and in laws and his 5 other siblings (?). This is very extreme.
    Other thing that I see is that in Peru they don’t get married before they are 35+ because of the simple fact that they don’t want to leave the parents house. A couple could be engaged for several years and don’t get married before they are ready to leave home.
    The plus side of that is that they help out with money. They study or work and help out.

    In Paraguay you could see the same thing, a son with wife and family living with the parents, but they always help out economically.

    When a couple have kids they have in mind that when they get old they have 3+ kids to help them out economically and that they wont be alone when they retire and don’t have a lot of money. It’s normal for a family that the grandparents live with them their hole life.
    One of the reasons why there isn’t many elderly homes in South America.

    2 years ago