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Sexuality in Korea

July 4, 2013

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Ok, so this topic is a bit difficult for us to talk about, because it’s one that we can really barely talk about at all. Whenever we discuss a topic that we don’t have any experience with, like the one on Dating in Korea, we can only relate what our friends have told us. Having our Korean friends open up about sexuality, though, isn’t really as easy as it is with our non-Korean friends. Maybe it’s a Korean thing. Maybe it isn’t. We’re not sure. All we know is that we kinda feel like elementary school kids again trying to talk about the things they heard about sex. I heard you put your weiner in a girl’s belly button to make babies! EWWW GROSSSS.

Another thing about sexuality as well: we can’t comment on what an entire race of people are like, because sexuality is very individualistic. The habits of a few people don’t represent the habits of everyone. Even if we had first-hand experience with sexuality in Korea and told you those stories, that wouldn’t really be all too indicative of Sexuality in Korea, you know? This disclaimer isn’t exclusive to just this topic of sexuality. Lots of the topics we discuss are just based on our limited experiences, which can vary greatly depending on who you know or where you’ve been. Our marriage is different than many of the marriages you’ve seen or experienced, our diets are different, and our experiences in Korea are different as well. We can only tell stories, and hopefully you find them interesting :D

The only thing that we could really talk about that was distinctly Korean, though is the Love Motel experience, which we haven’t seen anywhere else, really. Love motels are pretty much motels whose main bread and butter is people looking for a place to have sex. Why, do you ask, do people need to go to Love Motels to have sex? Because of real estate prices, that’s why. If you want to have your own apartment in Korea, you have to put down a giant deposit of $10,000-$50,000, sometimes even more, depending on the place. Not a lot of students in high school or university, or even post-university have that kind of dough. We know people in their 30s in Korea still living with their parents.

So what are they gonna do if they want to get it on and they still live with their parents? Some of you might suggest “sneak off into the basement or the bedroom or whatever so long as it’s far from the rest of the family,” but it’s not that easy. People don’t live in big houses here. Most people live in apartments. You gonna sneak off and get it on in a room whose wall is connected to the living room? That’s not gonna happen! Oh you wanna get it on in the garage? You mean, the public garage where everyone else in your apartment parks? NOT HAPPENING, unless…you’re creative…

Hence, Love Motels. A whole business model, a whole small economy, based on ludicrous apartment deposits. The same can be said of coffee shops, which are overrun by people on dates, who don’t want to do something romantic in the company of their parents. DVD rooms exist as well, which are supposed to be for watching DVDs, but are – errr – known for people having sex in them as well. DVD rooms are cheaper than Love Motels, so if you’re horny and on a budget, that’s the place to go!

What’s odd, though, is that sexuality isn’t really that openly talked about in Korea, when it’s pretty much in your face a lot of the time. Isn’t Korea one of the highest consumers of porn in the world? And aren’t there rub and tugs everywhere? We have a friend who is Korean but living in Japan, and she was telling us about the difference between Japanese TV and Korean TV. She was watching a prime-time Japanese TV program, with celebrity guests talking about stuff on some chatterbox program, and one of them was telling a story about what one of his ex-girlfriends liked to do with his shpoonk. To which we all looked aghast and said “That would NEVER be on Korean TV,” but would it be on North American TV as well? Canadian? I don’t think so. American? I doubt it. Mexican? I’ve got no clue. I think Mexico’s more open about its sexuality, for some odd reason. Probably because it’s hotter there. Oh hell I don’t know what I’m talking about.

We haven’t really seen any sex shops in Korea as well, as much as we see them where we’re from. There’s a condom shop in Hongdae that we’ve seen, but that’s about all we’ve seen. When we were in Akihabara, Tokyo, though: HOLY SMOKES SO MANY SEX SHOPS EVERYWHERE. Multi-level sex shops. Whole floors dedicated to penis pumps. We know this only because we had to research them for the sake of our videos, of course. POINT IS: we haven’t really seen any sex shops in Korea.

As for the more juicy details our foreign friends have related about their sexual experiences in Korea, there’s no real trend that we can comment on. Some Korean girls are shy and timid, and carry the “oppa!” thing to an uncomfortable sexual level, and some girls are friskier and more dominant. Some guys are great and some are inconsiderate dolts. It’s no different than sex back where we’re from. Some people are great at it and some aren’t.

Anyhow, we’ll leave the floor open for discussion now, though we’re not sure how to open this up for discussion without turning the comment section into NSFW territory. We didn’t talk about prostitution here in Korea, which is related to sexuality, but entirely deserving of its own post, if the topic of Se7en’s massage parlour experience is something people want us to use as a springboard. Side note: the whole “I went in there without knowing what it was! Oops!” excuse is clearly, irrevocably, undeniably, 100% bullshit :D

And now that we’re done talking about sex and shpoonk on Japanese TV, how about we talk about helping our North Korean refugees? Highly inappropriate! But, it’s our last chance to do so, and we really wanted to raise more awareness for it. We made a Tumblr post about it over the weekend, but we wanted to mention it in a TL;DR video where we think more people would be interested in participating. We didn’t want to talk about it in last week’s TL;DR, since the topic was a bit more sensitive than love motels and Dildi.

The point is, this Saturday we’re going to help raise funds for LiNK. If you’re in the area, come hang out with us and chip in a few bucks if you can! If you’re not in the area, as 96% of you aren’t, yet you want to help out, you can still donate online to the Seoul Rescue Team. Either way, if you’re in Korea or not, we hope that you can participate in this somehow :D

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Sexuality in Korea

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  1. At my university we take things a step farther and have things like sex forums, where people discuss all things related to sexuality, host porn screenings, and have parties where penis and booby shaped cookies are served…Go Blue?

    3 years ago
  2. I’m Mexican and I can confirm we’re more open about sexuality,and indeed,the hot weather is a fact that has something to do with it XD. We have some morning shows that even invite sexologist to talk a bit about the topic; the telenovelas (tv soap operas) also show making-love scenes between the characters,no matter the schedule. Kids understand very well that that is just another stage of the relationship (kids just don’t know about “coitus”,only that two people in bed is the way to make babies, lol). We also have special tv shows about sex,in certain channels. Not a ton of sex shops.but there are some here. Colleges also give free condoms,etc. Porn is legal here,for +18 of course.

    We reach the idea that sexuality is part of us and trying to put it aside it’s like maim ourselves. Only problem us that lot of teenages are sexually active since 14 or 15, and teen pregnancy rate is high too. I heard single mothers are not really well seen in Korea,but here are very respected and goverment has also given financial support to them. Here,the “shotgun wedding” term is very old and it’s not used anymore. Couples that conceive a child before marriage can spend lot of time unmarried. We also understood that getting married just for a baby can be one of the biggest mistakes in society.

    Ok,I’ve said enough related to my country,hope you read it and and find it interesting :D

    3 years ago
    • i’m surprised that teen pregnancy is so high in Mexico.Don’t parents teach their kids about prevention??

      my mexican friends told me that guys usually don’t want to get married so they just leave the girl alone and the kid has to grow up without a father. that’s really sad imo :(

      3 years ago
    • I agree with you that Mexico is more open to sexuality than Korea, but the problem is that many parents aren’t open to talk with their children about sexuality. In my opinion, I think that one of the reasons why so many teens are pregnant in Mexico and also Mexicans who live in the US is because the only sex they see is in the telenovelas and parents don’t talk to them about that. I can’t say for sure because I only live in the US but from what I have seen as a Mexican living in the United States this is the problem. If you have anything else to add please feel free to do so! :)

      3 years ago
    • jajaja iba a comentar pero ya lo has dicho todo, saludos desde, cozumel :3

      3 years ago
  3. In Venezuela, there are Love Motels but they’re just called motels. There are a couple called Hotels ( they’re fancier and have theme rooms and stuff…idk) and you can rent the hour or night. I don’t know about vending machines with sex toys but I’ve seen sex shops in malls.

    3 years ago
  4. Love Motels are quite popular here in Venezuela too.. i mean i don’t think as much as SK love motels though, they do have like different themes for the each room, to enhance the experience xDD hahaha!! i haven’t actually gone to one, but a friend of mine went and she told me that it was pretty cool, with mirrors on the ceiling and a bunch of stuffs xD .. and about sexuality here, well we got sex education class around 6th grade, that is when we are 11-12 years old here.. just before entering high school~ i think we are pretty comfortable talking about sex here, i mean personally i talk with my friends (guys and girls) about it, and with my mom too, i think that is very important, with my dad is awkward but i have no problem talking with my mom about it~ ^^ but it’s not everyone cause i have some friends who don’t talk with their moms about it.. so it’s like u said.. it’s different for everyone!

    3 years ago
  5. Lea

    I have found that my friends who moved here from Korea or are here studying from Korea ask me tons of questions they were too shy to ask their Korean friends or parents about. I didn’t take it that they meant that I was waaaaaay more experienced than them (tbh married the only person I ever had sex with! booyah!). I just took it as here in the US we are more comfortable and more approachable about the subject. It’s like no judgement would have been passed if they asked about things like masturbation and/or sexy times with folks. Also safe sex was a HUUUUUUUGEE convo with some of them. It’s not that they didn’t know the dangers but more like wanted clarification on best options for them. In the end, I felt glad I was there to help them, but wished they had had that sort of relationship available back home.

    3 years ago
  6. There is a really great blog about Korean sexuality and feminism called “The Grand Narrative”. There is even a post about
    contraception. It’s written by a foreigner, but he lives and works in Korea, has a family in Korea, and gets help with the blog from his Korean wife. It’s really interesting to read, so maybe check it out?

    http://thegrandnarrative.com

    3 years ago
  7. I remember in the dorms, someone stole the whole bucket of condoms……..

    3 years ago
  8. sal

    Hahahaha this video cracked me up.

    You guys are hilarious hahahahahahahaha

    3 years ago
  9. OMG TAGGED AS XIA JUNSU…YOU SO NASTYYYY

    3 years ago
  10. I was already disappointed that you didn’t mention DVD rooms in the video, but in the blog post you do so yay~ I know a lot of people who watch your videos and plan to visit Korea (and go clubbing) and they don’t know what those are so…i hope they understand that now xD

    Also the Se7en reference was awesome.

    3 years ago
  11. I’m always interested in sexuality in different cultures so thank you for this video. ^^ (my major is culture studies haha) Sexuality really depends on the culture. I watched this documentary called “The Sunny side of sex” recently and woah the difference between open Cuban and not open at all Chinese.
    As for Japan, as I’m going to go there soon for a long time I’ve recearched things a bit and for example it’s the same thing with birth control pills over there. You might not even be able to get them from every hospital. In their eyes it’s dangerous to use them. (also might be the idea of youngsters having sex omg)
    Since I’m a Finn I must say that even though we are ok with nakedness (blame sauna) we are surprisingly not that open with sexuality. I think that’s because of the roots of Christianity and when it was a sin to think dirty things! It’s not like that with most of the people but it is hard to make the thoughts go away that fast.

    3 years ago
    • But actually China is slightly open about sexuality? ^^ There’s a whole mall for sex toys in shanghai, so in that aspect they’re more open than Korea xD

      3 years ago
      • China is a huge country and the documentary was only about one specific village so that’s why they weren’t so open about talking about their experiences. ^^’

        3 years ago
  12. once i read about a college that had a ‘condom fairy’. you’d write a note to the condom fairy and stick it in the box and the next day there would be a little draw string baggy at your room with 2 or 3 condoms, lube and a pamphlet about safe sex lol

    3 years ago
  13. Martina! how is Korea with actually errr… purchasing birth control in there.?
    Like, pills and stuff.

    3 years ago
    • I now live in Korea and have been on birth control here for about 8 months. At first, I thought you needed a doctor’s note and went to a local hospital to get one. They got kind of mad at me at first, and I didn’t understand why until I realized that they thought I was making them do unnecessary work since you actually don’t need a doctor’s note for birth control. Lesson learned. I’m on Meliane (멜리안, sounds like mel-lee-ahn) and it costs 10,000 won a pack. From my experience, birth control is extremely easy to obtain and cheaper too. Much more convenient than the states. ;P

      3 years ago
    • You might like to know that buying birth control was banned in Korea until 2006, so that’s kind of why women don’t really know about it. There is a really interesting blog post you might like to read! It doesn’t really explain your question, but it talks more about the social ideas around the pill.

      http://thegrandnarrative.com/2008/12/10/why-korean-girls-dont-say-no-contraception-commercials-condom-use-and-double-standards-in-south-korea/

      3 years ago
      • Thank you for the link and kind words about my blog Paige. But let me please clarify something: *buying* birth control wasn’t banned in Korea until 2006, *advertising* it was, although an exception was made in 2004 for a public campaign to encourage condom use, for the sake of preventing HIV/AIDS.

        Since then, the pill has regularly been advertised on TV, but not condoms. That all changed just last week though, when Durex Korea rolled out (sorry!) Korea’s *first* ever TV commercials for condoms! http://thegrandnarrative.com/2013/06/29/korean-women-condom-use/

        3 years ago
        • I was actually in Korea visiting my boyfriend when that commercial came on. I was surprised because it was in Korea, and when my boyfriend saw it I swear his mouth was hanging open. He said he’d never seen a commercial for anything sexual before on Korean TV.

          3 years ago
        • Oh! Well, thank you for very much for clarifying, sir, because I was honestly under the impression that birth control was banned. But now I know, and for that I thank you!

          3 years ago
        • You’re welcome, and no need to call me “sir” — you make me sound very old! (Although I guess 37 *is* very old compared to most commenters here ㅠㅠ)

          3 years ago
    • Well, I’m not Martina:) but I have purchased bc pills in Korea. They sell them in the pharmaceries and for some of them you don’t need doctor’s prescription (for example Mercilon). You just go to pharmacery, ask for them and pay (when I bought them they weren’t to expensive, 1 pack of Mercilon costed me 6-7$ depending on pharmacery, though it was back in 2010). They are called “pi-im yak” in korean (or you can just try and ask for concrete brand, before on internet I found a list of bc pills you can buy in Korea, many of them have same names as abroad).
      I hope I helped :)

      3 years ago
  14. “if the topic of Se7en’s massage parlour experience is something people want us to use as a springboard.” SPRINGBOARD, SPRINGBOARD!!

    3 years ago
  15. Ummm, kinda on a related topic, does anyone happen to know if birth control is prescription yet in korea? I’ve heard mixed messages, and since I’m leaving to Korea to teach at the end of the month, it’d be nice to know.

    3 years ago
  16. When will KMM be out? Still waiting for it~ but then, no rush. :) You guise should really sleep. It’s 4.30am there. It’s 3.30am here…@_@ studiesssss….Goodnight guys~ <3

    3 years ago
  17. Hi there, Martina, you look like you got a tan–did you get a tan? :D

    3 years ago
  18. Sex shops get more common the closer you are to military bases. Out in the less populated areas of Korea I’ve seen lots of them on busier streets.

    3 years ago
  19. LOL that se7en call out
    BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    i cant-

    3 years ago
  20. It definitely seems odd to think that High School kids don’t date until you look at the crazy pressure they are under to succeed at school. Good luck with the fundraiser this Saturday btw.

    3 years ago
  21. My mom wants me to marry a guy like Simon. She’s told me that she’s prayed for me to meet my very own Simon.

    3 years ago
    • Well, she prays that I marry an intelligent man with a great sense of humor, who will love me how Simon loves Martina. (And after showing her the uBEAT Interview blooper reel, she thinks Eli’s cute…so if you Nasty leaders are willing to set us up, my mom and I will thank you immensely, hahaha)

      3 years ago
    • Tell your mom that doctors aren’t a good idea, never eveeer evuuurrrr :x

      3 years ago
      • Why do you say that?

        3 years ago
        • People usually likes doctors because they are very intelligent, and that’s true, but because of that, they might also feel like they’re more than you, and treat you or speak to you like if you didn’t have the capacity to have a decent conversation with them.
          This might not aply to all of them, but for what I’ve seen in my school, everyone is just like that =_= Plus, they’re always bussy and hospitals are full of drama (not like in Grey’s Anatomy or such) but my mom told me that is very common and easy for male doctors to cheat on their wifes, since everyone wants to have a doctor as a husband. I honestly wouldn’t like to deal with that :I

          3 years ago
        • mgd

          While it is true many doctors are busy with work – and the hours that they are available are fairly irregular and inconvenient, not all doctors will look down on you for not having the same caliber of education, at least over here in the states. If you can match them in an intellectual conversation, and give them a good debate (by holding your ground, while still remaining open-minded) – some will be very impressed. Honestly many doctors have a good sense of the stress and struggles many students and low-wage workers have to face, because they have been there. If you think of ways to connect with someone, and I mean ANYONE, and you make an effort to do some things they enjoy, and find things to do together that neither of you have done before, as long as that person is making the same effort, almost anyone can be in a good relationship. ;)

          3 years ago
        • Yeah, I understand what you mean. Some people do get inflated egos when they are in a position like that. I think those type of people are the ones who mainly become doctors for the money, or the social status. There are those who do it for the good of others, but you don’t meet a lot of them. And if you do, they’re already usually taken. ^-^

          Btw, I was curious about your comment because I’m planning on doing pre-med in college this fall and I was wondering what type of people I might potentially be working with. Strange thing is that I don’t want to marry a doctor. It’s true that their profession puts work before family, and I don’t like that so I’m still on the fence about becoming one. But then on the other hand, I want to do some non-profit charity work internationally and would like to have medical skills (something like Doctors Without Borders?)

          3 years ago
        • It depends, I’m currently studying medicine too and my group was actually really nice. What I don’t like about this is that, if you want to outstand you have to get involved with the right people, and that can make you have a better grade or schedule with the best teachers. Also, as I said, most of the males are jerks. I mean, they feel that just because they study medicine they’re already doctors and they can get any girl =__=
          But well, besides that, you will always find all kinds of people. Of course there is people who wants this just because of the social status, but there are some others who are very nice and they really wanna help people (like my friends :D). Medicine is actually very interesting, you just have to stay away from people who will only damage you, and you’ll enjoy it a lot (:

          3 years ago
    • I think all Moms want their daughters to marry a version of Simon. Dorky and loveable!

      3 years ago
      • A-dork-able. That’s how I’d describe Simon. That, and gentlemanly. MOTHER FATHER, GENTLEMAN! (I may actually introduce my future bf to my parents like that)

        3 years ago
    • I want my very own Simon too.
      I call this imaginary man of mine “My Fanboy”
      That’s what I want/need.
      Nerd out with me on marvel, my future fanboy~ lol

      3 years ago
      • Too funny! This reminds me of the “date” I would always bring to school dances. His name was Vizzy (short for The Invisible Man), and he was an excellent slow dancer.

        3 years ago
      • My fanboy, my fanboy, ooh boy fanboy. nuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh
        my fanboy, my fanboy, baby nuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh don’t let me down boy.

        I’d like to see Simon dance to this hehehehehehe.

        3 years ago
  22. Tagged as ‘Xiah Junsu’ hahaha loved this <3

    3 years ago
  23. “Tagged as xiah junsu” you killed me. #done but they really are conservative. (No secks shops? That sucks!)

    3 years ago
  24. My brothers are staring at me with a clear WTF face. …..awkward.

    3 years ago
  25. Hi EYK! I have a question: What do the citizens of Korea think of
    Foreign idols? Like do they respect them as much as their native Korean
    idols or not? For example, Tiffany of SNSD is from America and EXO’s
    Kris is from Canada/China :3

    3 years ago
    • Seconded: Visit Netizenbuzz more often.
      Let’s see… For Nichkhun-they’re basically telling him to go back to Thailand and “Stop earning the money of Koreans”.

      3 years ago
    • Depends who. Victoria, and Nichkhun (pre scandal) were probably the most popular and generally liked idols who are foreign, especially with their huge wgm stint. Fei is also becoming more popular with her reality show appearances. I believe most people will look past nationality or ethnicity, but would still see them as outsiders nonetheless.

      3 years ago
    • Um well we know the answer of what SM Ent thinks of Chinese idols. Cough Hangeng! They think any idol who isn’t Korean is second class. I’ve asked this alot on many blogs and forums, always the same. Koreans are held higher. Tiffany and Jessica might be looked at differently because they are Korean.

      3 years ago
    • See you there!!! x]

      3 years ago
  26. can’t wait to see lots of photobooth pics!!!

    3 years ago
  27. FYI, love motels are really popular here in Argentina, it’s so funny to see people shocked about them bc for us is so…common?

    3 years ago
    • maybe we are just /that/ horny, idk

      3 years ago
    • We don’t have any here in Finland so I guess it really depends on place.. and culture. Here I’d say people’d probaply go hotel for sex: more romantic that way, or then just do it in their homes.

      3 years ago
    • Yeah, but motels that you can rent for the hour? Motels with dildi in the vending machines? Is that common?

      3 years ago
      • Can’t you do this in Japan too? From what I’ve seen in *cough*manga*cough*anime…

        3 years ago
      • Those kinds of “specialty motels” by the hour or 3-hour intervals also exist in the Philippines and other parts of Southeast Asia

        3 years ago
      • These kinds of love motels are actually popular here in Brazil too! And people don’t go there just because they live with the family and it would be weird to take your bf/gf home… Some of these love motels are “thematic”, so people (even married couples) go there just for a change :)

        3 years ago
        • I am also brazilian (YAY, FELLOW BRAZILIAN NASTIES!!) and I see a lot of these love motels. I once had an awkward talk with my girl friends (we kind of leveled up our friendship intimacy :P) and they were telling me about how these love motels work. When you enter the love motel with a car, none of its workers will see you.. you communicate through a telephone thingie, I guess. when you pay, you also aren’t seen. my friend told me they paid with credit card and on the… bank statement (???) they put other names on there. like, they won’t write you paid that amount of money on a love motel, but they will put it like you spent the money on building material lol

          3 years ago
        • We have the same in Portugal. Many people that go there are married.

          3 years ago
        • We do? I didn’t know about that ahahah

          3 years ago
        • Na zona de Sintra, que eu conheça, há 2. Encontram-se em zonas mais escondidas para haver mais privacidade. ;) Conheço vários casais casados que já lá foram algumas vezes.

          3 years ago
        • Me neither. I mean… Nem eu.

          3 years ago
      • they have these in Japan as well

        3 years ago
      • you can rent it for two hours or “pernocte” which is like 12 hours or so. No vending machines but room service for dildos and lube and condoms!

        3 years ago
        • I’m from Panama and we got them here as well! A hotel like that is called a “push-button”, but they don’t actually look like hotels! They are located far away from any crowded area, in the middle of a highway (for example) and they got these bright neon light with cheesy names like “You and I” or “Las Vegas”. They’re made of a series of separate rooms, each one with a private entrance and garage having an automatic door.

          The couple will park inside an open garage and the guy will “push a button” to close the door for the lady to get out of the car privately… therefore the name “push button”. Then there’s a doorbell to be rung and a slot where money should be slipped inside to a person you can’t see located behind a door (around USD $15.00 for an hour will do the fare) and tada… it’s all set!

          They’re very unromantic places to escape to because people gotta be quick and because just when time is about to finish they will call your room to advise it and to ask whether or not you want to pay for another hour xD …AWKWARD!

          3 years ago
        • that kind od ‘room service’ sounds pretty awkward haha

          3 years ago
      • I did not realize the plural for “dildo” was dildi…or is it dildos?

        3 years ago
        • “Dildos” looks like “Dil-dosss,” which sounds like a computer language. “Dildi” sounds more scientific.

          3 years ago
        • Dil-Doss, new flavoured operating system! =P

          3 years ago
        • My brain read your “Dil-doss” as “Do-si-do.” Time for a grand ole dildo do-si-do, I think Junsu should spear head this dance revolution.

          3 years ago
        • We are having a discussion on the plural form of dildos c:

          3 years ago
        • “Dildi,” you mean ;)

          3 years ago
  28. Yeah… In America, those aren’t called “Love Motels”. They’re just called motels.

    3 years ago
    • Personally I dislike motels cuz they can end up being kinda gross. I mean who wants to get it on in a room that feels icky and looks icky! Love Motels I think are different they are designed for that purpose and I’ve heard of love motels that offer different things like cosplay and S&M theme rooms. Also love motels try to keep their customers privacy.

      3 years ago
    • Yup there are plenty of Shady Motels you can rent by the hour that serve the same purpose. The only difference is it’s not an exclusive or well advertised reason for hourly rental. All the crime shows show it people CSI, Breaking Bad, all of em. Plus Motels really don’t show up in the good part of town either.

      3 years ago
    • Not really. Most are just for ppl traveling on a budget & sleepy truckdrivers

      3 years ago
    • I feel like our motels are just cheap and low quality places to stay when you’re traveling. SK’s Love Motels look a lot more appropriate for sex than the average US motel lol… most aren’t that appealing.

      3 years ago
  29. Thanks Simon and Martina! Get some sleep :)

    3 years ago
  30. Question: Are there a lot of public swimming pools in South Korea? Where I’m from there’s a good number (Texas is in a drought) and there are little water-spray-areas.

    3 years ago
    • I would think so, since alot of people live in apartments and dont have pools. I think they have them alot in gyms too. I know they have them in Japan. There’s like one water spray place/park that I always see in kdramas/shows like sesame player where everyones getting soaked and playing around.

      3 years ago
      • Coolio. I was just wondering as the heat here in Texas has invaded my brain ^-^

        3 years ago
      • Awesome! I had heard somewhere that there weren’t all that many and for some reason it interests me. :)

        3 years ago
  31. Shots fired at Se7en, I saw that Martina.

    3 years ago
  32. Shpoonk…that’s a new one!

    Gotta say, a RELATIVELY more open culture in terms of sexual culture is something I love about living here (Northeastern US–can’t speak for the some of the south? But apparently sex is just for making babies and otherwise sinful. And according to my traditional Asian parents, women who take birth control are huge sluts…-___- so illogical). Although I do remember going to Paris and seeing a movie poster with boobies all hanging out. I was surprised and then after seeing like 100 more of them I really didn’t care. I wish we were more like that! And censorship in video games–a woman’s naked body in the occasional sexual context is BAD BAD BAD, but shooting like 500 soldiers in the face and watching their head explode in slow-mo is totally cool. Mind boggling.

    3 years ago
    • There are places in the south that are real hush hush about sex and sexuality (where it’s a dirty dirty sin and you’ll die a horrid death and all that nonsense), but for the most part, it’s pretty open in my region.

      3 years ago
  33. I went on a date with a Korean guy when I first moved there, and I knew things were a little more modest there. He tried to kiss me on the street in the middle of a bunch of people and I was like, “Whoa, people are looking at us.” and he said “That’s okay! You’re foreigner!”

    Surprise! Didn’t see him again after that.

    3 years ago
    • Racist AND sexist! What an ass! :(

      I just watched a video by an African-American woman talking about a really shitty date in which the dude was not only a total asshole in making assumptions about her, but went far enough to make her feel like she was in danger! (Not fucking cool!!) It’s tough enough being a lady in Western countries where feminism isn’t a totally foreign concept. Must be way worse in a country dominated by Confucian values and homogeneity.

      *Air fist-pump of solidarity*

      3 years ago
    • What I meant by disgraceful women was that there are some women who don’t take good care of themselves and will let people take advantage of them. If you go to a foreign country and let the “perverted men” do whatever they want with you, they’re going to perceive you as an easy girl or a promiscuous person and also deem every other woman from your country to be the same way. I was responding to the girl and giving her props for not letting someone dictate her actions while she spent time in that country. It’s okay to have sex with more than one person. I don’t care how many partners someone has or has been with, it’s really about how they take care of themselves. Are they respecting their bodies, their health and their partners, or are they being disrespectful, careless etc…?

      3 years ago
    • wanna tell you the truth behind this?
      guys are considered as cool if they have a foreign gf …he just wanted people to stare at him and say

      omg look at that one , he ‘s got a white girl …

      3 years ago
    • Yeah, my Korean boyfriend was similar at first! He would always try to kiss me and touch me, and I’d have to tell him to stop. I talked to him about it though, and he said he thought that was what American girls wanted. I know it sounds shallow, but he was pretty innocently dumb about it. Luckily, we talked it out, and he realized (maybe to his disappointment lol) that I’m really no different than Korean girls. He is much more respectful now. :) I’m glad you left him, but don’t give up on Korean guys just cuz of this one bad one! :)

      3 years ago
      • i agree with that I had similar experience with a Korean guy I was friends with that lived in a other part of the world he didn’t live in korea anymore but he wasn’t from here and he came to America. so we the first time we met he wanted to have sex to go to a hotel… and idk …. he wanted to get laid ….

        3 years ago
      • Part of it has to do with media portrayal – some of the most popular “Western” shows that Koreans watch are Gossip Girl, Vampire Diaries, etc., which are obviously very sexualized depictions of Americans. Kind of like how kpop fans make a lot of wrong assumptions about Korean people because of what they see in kpop and kdramas.

        3 years ago
    • or women who like sex and refuse to treat it like a commodity to hold over men’s heads which incidentally makes us more of an “object” and is partially responsible for a lot of the sexual inequity we experience in nearly any arena.
      if you want the guy, kiss the guy. if not, then it’s just not for you, not now. but don’t go throwing shade on some other girls who know what they want and aren’t afraid to go for it.

      3 years ago
    • I think she meant disgraceful in a woman that kisses an almost stranger in public sort of way not just a sexually active woman kind of way.

      3 years ago
      • Unfortunately I still don’t think it’s right to judge a women as disgraceful simply for kissing a guy in public (who is kissing her, too). That’s harsh and a bit myopic. Perhaps if she were actively hitting on a stranger in front of his wife? But otherwise, again, the man is also involved in this kiss, he’s not being called disgraceful, and they’re happily and consensually doing so. Might be gross to look at, but then just don’t look haha.

        3 years ago
        • But it was already obvious that the guy was behaving badly there was no need to comment on that. I feel like all if you are taking her comment out of context and just running with it instead of thinking logically about her meaning in that comment. Logic over emotion please. Also pda is rude and impolite. People know it makes others uncomfortable and yet they still do it. Just save it for when you’re alone.

          3 years ago
        • PDA doesn’t always make others uncomfortable and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hand holding, hugging, or a little kissing in public. I’m not entirely comfortable with people making out right in front of me and I would personally prefer if they kept it to themselves and did those kinds of things in private, but if a couple happen to get swept up in their passions who am I to judge them? Also in my opinion I haven’t taken the aforementioned comment out of context, nor am I thinking about it illogically. I’ve reread the comment and I stand by what I said.

          3 years ago
        • You’re right that it should be obvious the guy was behaving badly–but unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way! Additionally, she implied that if the girl were to let him kiss her, she would apparently be an “easy” girl, and that partaking in sexual activities (kissing and beyond) with him with less reservation than other (Korean?) women would give women a bad name (and that women who do this are “disgraceful”). Regardless, it’s a bit of a blanket judgmental statement, condemns female sexuality, and as said above, myopic in the grand scheme of things.

          Although we can’t exactly tell what kind of kiss the guy was going for (peck on the cheek/lips? A sweep-off-the-feet full on mouth plant? Who knows), what’s appropriate in public and what’s not changes depending on who you ask. In Japan, a peck on the cheek when you say good bye may make others uncomfortable while elsewhere no one would bat an eyelash. In this case, Koreans might have found it a bit odd. However, I’m still not connecting the logic in why participating in that mild PDA would make a girl easy/disgraceful.

          Female sexuality is a hot button, although I hope most of these responses were written as blandly and emotionlessly as possible.

          3 years ago
    • Although perhaps not intentional, this type of view is generally harmful for women–people often center on the woman’s behavior and forget the man involved, much like victim blaming in (to go to the extreme) rape and abuse cases. Labeling the woman as “disgraceful” and ignoring the man for the same behavior is unfair. Furthermore, two consensual adults deciding they are attracted to each other and enjoying what can be a satisfying, natural experience (for one time or however many times–doesn’t matter) shouldn’t be problematic unless one of them is unavailable. Both men and women should be able to sleep with whomever that way, and we aren’t to judge them. It doesn’t affect us (except in the way below, more on that later). They’re not harming anyone.

      In this case, my problem is not that the woman and man (or, hell, just two people in general) may engage in a one night stand should they want that from each other, but rather the man’s behavior. His behavior (making idiotic assumptions and acting on them) is the one that affects women (and I suppose other men, by making them look creepy). He assumes based off someone’s nationality that she is sexually available and targets her (her vagina, really…) SOLELY because she’s foreign. It’d be fine if they spent the night dancing/talking/etc., she seems really into him and he likes her, and he decides to go for it from that, but because she’s foreign, he presumptuously decides he’s going to get into her pants because it’s EASIER. That’s creepy–he wouldn’t try that on someone else.

      It’s pretty much just as creepy or presumptuous if you assumed every man approaching you in South Africa was about to rape you. Or you ask a white girl if she’s a Russian prostitute. Or if you assume all Japanese women are sexually repressed and therefore into all sorts of kink and crazy in bed. Or if you date Asian women because they are all obedient, delicate flowers and less likely to speak their mind/disagree with you. Or you only date white men because all Asian men are meek and feminized. In other words, making assumptions about someone because of their nationality is unfortunate, as was spoken about in the last TL;DR.

      3 years ago
      • Thank you, I sensed some slut shaming/easy shaming. If its safe and consensual its fine, the real issue is the objectification of women by men.

        3 years ago
        • Is that foreign experience real? Is man whores a phenomena like slut shaming of women? Could you explain more.

          3 years ago
      • Well said! *applause*

        3 years ago
    • what the heck! On a first date? If so, I would so embarrass him with his pal on the street.

      Does Korean guy thinks foreigners are not within the rule or something?

      3 years ago
      • Yes, pretty much. Koreans view Westerners as “easy”, as someone who are very sexualized and open to pretty much anything. If a Western woman goes to Korea, men will think she is an easy catch. Simon and Martina has talked about this in their videos too.

        3 years ago
        • I just have to say: not all Korean men are creeps who think foreign girls are easy, BUT it’s important for foreign ladies living there to know that attitude exists. Not acknowledging it can lead to some pretty unpleasant and potentially awful situations in my experience.

          3 years ago
        • I couldn’t have said it better myself.

          3 years ago
        • Chinese guys view western girls as easy too. Shame that one of our teachers didn’t help that stereotype any…

          3 years ago
    • Please tell me you rearranged this dude’s face >_>

      3 years ago
      • I just politely refused and didn’t ever see him again after that. Actually, he didn’t try to contact me either. He must have just assumed I was easy (as many men assume of American women in Korea.)

        3 years ago
    • Oh man, that’s just ridiculous. Did you smack him in front of everybody?

      3 years ago
  34. I know Korean girls whose mother’s never even talked to them about menstruation. And when they got their periods they thought they were dying, but too embarrassed to tell their moms. This is how limited the conversations in Korea are about sex.

    3 years ago
    • I never had “the talk” with my parents either and never talk about sex with any of them, I think it depends on the family itself rather than the nationality

      3 years ago
    • I never really got the Talk from my parents either, as in, they wait till you’re a certain age and then tell you everything. I was pretty young when I started to ask questions about were babies come from, and they always just told me, whenever I had a new question or learned about something new on the playground, I’d ask them about it, and they’d tell me. This, however, only works when your child wants to know about sexuality. My sister never wanted to hear everything about it. If my parents tried to tell her about it, she would just put her hands over her ears! This really worried my parents when she got a boyfriend though, they were afraid she would have seks without protection, since she never wanted to learn about it.

      3 years ago
    • lots of moms drop the ball here in the states too. i was like, hemorrhaging in gym class, they sent me home and my mom was all “you did that already? i thought i had like 4 more years?”
      uh a decade later.. same awkward talk on my wedding night… O.o

      3 years ago
      • *shrugs* My mom didn’t get hers until high school. (Might’ve had something to do with the diets back then? Btw, this would’ve been during the 70s, when Asia wasn’t what it is today, economically.)

        I knew I’d get my period someday because I’d been with my mom at the supermarket* when she bought pads, and she (very awkwardly) explained what they were for. So when I got mine at age 12 I didn’t think I was dying or anything like what’s-her-name in My Girl. But I’ll bet that no young woman in the history of, oh, EVER would have faced her first pair of ruined undies with what one could even charitably call “composure.”

        (Yeah. I still flipped out.)

        * Actually, it was a warehouse store called Costco. We’re Asian-Americans—what DON’T we buy in bulk?

        3 years ago
    • Wow actually I think Korean BOYS were more likely victims of hushed/not so appropriate sex education!
      They learn from porns first and then are educated when their school’s cool enough to do so. There ARE schools providing accurate and specific educations though! Like the one I went to>_<
      AAAANYHOO, from my experience, they don't take it seriously. Schools should really work on their sex education!!
      And for girls, thankfully since I go to girl's Univ. so it's kinda easy to get information from school and there are lectures held occasionally about sexual self-esteem and protections and all.

      3 years ago
    • It sort of reminds me of the super-religious parents pulling their kids out of sex-ed classes, or opposing it altogether. It’s IMPORTANT. My parents were just glad we had sex-ed in school because they didn’t have to go through the awkwardness of explaining it to me (and school would be more accurate, anyway).

      It *seems* to work out in Korea because it seems like people actually stay away from sex as teenagers? I remember something about teen pregnancy being very low….Still, I think it’s a good idea for people to learn about their bodies, even if it’s just to keep people from freaking out about menstruation or erections :|

      Conversely, in other countries, teens are going to have sex whether you try to stop them or not, which is why sex-ed is really important, since it teaches them to at least be safe if they can’t be deterred.

      3 years ago
    • That sounds like a horrible experience to go trough : / Oh well, europeans are pretty much the complete opposites.

      3 years ago
    • Gosh, I had a similar situation. (Although I don’t live in Korean, nor am I korean.)
      I didn’t tell my mom for about 3 months ; and my parents never even gave me a talk about sex. Thankfully the internet was there to teach me.

      3 years ago
      • I feel like this blog post is old enough that I can say this without too much embarrassment… Don’t feel bad. I started my period when I was 11 and hid it from my mom until I was 16. :/ She never talked to me about it or anything, never gave me a sex talk, and never even taught me how to shave my legs. At least now I know what NOT to do when raising my own daughter in the future…

        3 years ago
      • i think it’s an asian thing. my mom never talk to me about sex either. When i first got my period, my mom give me a pad and that’s it. 10 years ago i’m not an internet savvy person so i rely on my friends to tell me about cramps and pubes. lol

        3 years ago
      • I second that. I was about 7-8 and the older girls treated me like i was an idiot because i didn’t know what sex was. Curious me googled and was greeted by the world of porn…i was pretty messed up after that lol

        3 years ago
      • Yeah, otherwise you might end up like me, reading an article about “what
        you would do if you had a penis for a day” ( “slap it around on tables and stuff” [ holy shit, OUCH! ], “pee while standing”, and other weird stuff ). Or an article about losing
        one’s virginity and reading someone’s story in the comments about how she lost it to a
        normal guy who suddenly screamed “BA-CAWWWW!” when he climaxed. The
        internet is a strange place. A hilariously strange place.

        3 years ago
      • I agree with this. I didn’t wanna talk to my parents about sex when I started having *those* feelings, and things quickly got awkward.

        3 years ago
      • It may or may not. Who knows? I think I’m pretty well informed now. I’m not sure who to go to for correct education. A flaw in the education system here in the US was ; learning about sex in 5th/7th grade. (My school atleast.) What 11 year old is going to care about it? Then when high school comes around they don’t mention sex at all. It’s terrible. That’s when kids are having sex.

        3 years ago
        • I went to a crazy middle school where on the bus, all the little 11-12 year olds were talking about how much sex they’ve had, so I don’t think its entirely a flaw to have sex ed. so early…but then, maybe I just grew up in a bad neighborhood.

          3 years ago
        • My school started talking about that stuff to us when we were in 5th grade.. I remember they separated the boys and girls into different rooms and started talking to us about it and for us 5th graders…ohh my was it awkward! I feel like the schools pounded it into our brains in health class ever since then…

          3 years ago
        • A few years ago there was a great webshow called “The Mid West Teen Sex Show”, a comedy show that gives real information on sex topics teens care about. It’s freaking hilarious at any age. It’s not porn and it’s not like it shows anything directly but it certainly gives you lots of info and lots to talk about. Looks like it has a youtube channel now http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL014AE8B37B97F3BB. The first one is a bit rough, but they are all awesome, not in your face and totally don’t make you squeamish. If you are having trouble starting a conversation with your teen (or older children), I totally recommend it. I also otherwise recommend it to anyone for the lulz.

          3 years ago
        • My school did at around 6th grade. We had a required “Human Growth and Development” class. Some of the teachers still thought it was too early, but I got my period when I was about 11. My parents had never given me “the Talk” (they still haven’t, actually, but I know enough now), but luckily we had just talked about menstruation in class the week before.

          3 years ago
        • My parents didn’t give me or my siblings “the Talk” either, but I suppose they figured that they didn’t need too since we had Sex ED

          3 years ago
        • Honestly, I think schools are in a pickle when it comes to the subject of birth control. They don’t want to encourage sex (because things don’t always work the way they should, or at all XD), but they don’t wanna ignore it when it’s all up in their faces.

          3 years ago
        • Same here. We heard about it, but with a catholic highschool, they just push abstinence. They aren’t really supposed to teach other birth control methods at all. Luckily some of the teachers ignored this (either in gym or religion class) so we managed to get the full picture

          3 years ago
      • Just stick to those .gov websites ;) E.g., womenshealth.gov. Or the CDC, NIH…etc.

        3 years ago
  35. Hah I remember on my orientation day for university they gave you a little bag full of stuff then at the bottom was lube and a condom. We were all thinking OMG WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THISSS? I think its good to be more open about it than not but at the time it was frightening and hilarious.

    Also my Japanese prof said that in Japan if someones says they’re going out for a drive they’re actually going to a love motel. So I guess its the same.

    3 years ago
  36. what happened to the KMM this week :(

    3 years ago
  37. Yay my donation got through ^3^ I know it isn’t much but I hope I can help with my low loan ^3^

    3 years ago
  38. “TAGGED AS: Xiah Junsu”

    Wait what? Am I missing something here? LMAO

    Oh and what a lovely way to end the video/blog post ;~;

    3 years ago
    • wait is Junsu gay?

      3 years ago
      • That, my friend, is up to your imagination if Tarantallegra means what I think it does XD

        3 years ago
        • I was just asking, people! I didn’t mean it negatively, I am fine either way if he is or not. What was offensive about asking? And, uh, “Tarantallegra is a spell used by Draco Malfoy on “Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets” during a practice at the Duelling Club where he uses the “Tarantallegra” spell against Harry making his legs dance without control. In fact the song also has a similar meaning behind it where Junsu casts a spell that will surely make everyone dance without control. ” …right? I know he dresses as a girl in the vid, but I didn’t think anything of it, actually. ahh But I looked into it more and they got him a shirt that says “Sorry girls, I’m gay” for his birthday and were talking about how it really fit Junsu so I guess he is?

          3 years ago
        • I didn’t mean to cast your comment in a negative light; I was just making a joke about the Tarantallegra video. It makes sexuality all artsy fartsy, and I just can’t help but take a few shots at it, because of the androgynous character Junsu plays.

          3 years ago
        • I was just asking, people! I didn’t mean it negatively, I am fine either way if he is or not. What was offensive about asking? And, uh, “Tarantallegra is a spell used by Draco Malfoy in “Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets” during a practice at the Dueling Club where he uses the “Tarantallegra” spell against Harry making his legs dance without control. In fact the song also has a similar meaning behind it where Junsu casts a spell that will surely make everyone dance without control. ” …right? I know he dresses as a girl in the vid, but I didn’t think anything of it, actually. ahh But I looked into it more and they got him a shirt that says “Sorry girls, I’m gay” for his birthday and were talking about how it really fit Junsu so I guess he is?

          3 years ago
        • Actually, Junsu said himself that he isn’t gay in this interview:
          http://jyj3.net/2012/07/24/trans-jyj-junsu-10asiastar-vol-14-interview/

          “Actually, because this kind of style, some of the overseas fans would think the main character in “TARANTALLEGRA” is not me. Some would say “so handsome, is he ‘GAY’?” (laugh) Even though I’m not “GAY” but I like hearing this kind of comment. As long as I can show everyone a different side, no matter if am “GAY” or not, as an artist, I feel like this definitely the main reason that will add more points to me.”

          Whether you choose to believe his words though is up to you, as I know kpop fans who just refuse to believe some idols are straight. I believe him though, I don’t think his style in Tarantallegra makes him gay at all. It’s just theatre-esque. He has woman all over him in that mv anyway lol.

          3 years ago
        • I believe him too, but tbh no idol would admit being gay since it would destroy their career,

          3 years ago
        • I actually don’t think Junsu or most K-Pop idols are gay (okay, I kind of think Jo Kwon is, but he’s such a troll that it’s hard to tell if it’s an act or not). I joke about it sometimes because Tarantallegra is so in your face with the sexual imagery; I honestly don’t know what half of that video is supposed to mean XD

          3 years ago
      • No, just sexy.

        3 years ago
  39. Hola Simon and Martina! :D

    3 years ago
    • ..bout to watch the vid..but figured I’d say hi xP

      3 years ago
      • Hi!

        3 years ago
        • oh yay u guys responded xD :,) but ..interesting video btw xP hope u two are doing well~ at..almost 5 am in the morning in korea O.e xP

          3 years ago
        • Yeah! We’re doing great. Kinda sleepy. Gonna comment a bit longer and then sleep in tomorrow till 2PM, the hottest time of day :D

          3 years ago
        • oh awesome! :D lol 2PM ..wow o.o idk if thats good or badx.x xP but Good night then~ ^^

          3 years ago
        • Hello to everyone!

          3 years ago
  40. Just want to say guys, thanks for all the hard work you all put into making your videos. :) according to my calculations it’s really “early” in Korea right now. Instead of sleeping your busy uploading videos for us so thankyou ^^

    3 years ago