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COMMENTS

Ok, so this topic is a bit difficult for us to talk about, because it’s one that we can really barely talk about at all. Whenever we discuss a topic that we don’t have any experience with, like the one on Dating in Korea, we can only relate what our friends have told us. Having our Korean friends open up about sexuality, though, isn’t really as easy as it is with our non-Korean friends. Maybe it’s a Korean thing. Maybe it isn’t. We’re not sure. All we know is that we kinda feel like elementary school kids again trying to talk about the things they heard about sex. I heard you put your weiner in a girl’s belly button to make babies! EWWW GROSSSS.

Another thing about sexuality as well: we can’t comment on what an entire race of people are like, because sexuality is very individualistic. The habits of a few people don’t represent the habits of everyone. Even if we had first-hand experience with sexuality in Korea and told you those stories, that wouldn’t really be all too indicative of Sexuality in Korea, you know? This disclaimer isn’t exclusive to just this topic of sexuality. Lots of the topics we discuss are just based on our limited experiences, which can vary greatly depending on who you know or where you’ve been. Our marriage is different than many of the marriages you’ve seen or experienced, our diets are different, and our experiences in Korea are different as well. We can only tell stories, and hopefully you find them interesting :D

The only thing that we could really talk about that was distinctly Korean, though is the Love Motel experience, which we haven’t seen anywhere else, really. Love motels are pretty much motels whose main bread and butter is people looking for a place to have sex. Why, do you ask, do people need to go to Love Motels to have sex? Because of real estate prices, that’s why. If you want to have your own apartment in Korea, you have to put down a giant deposit of $10,000-$50,000, sometimes even more, depending on the place. Not a lot of students in high school or university, or even post-university have that kind of dough. We know people in their 30s in Korea still living with their parents.

So what are they gonna do if they want to get it on and they still live with their parents? Some of you might suggest “sneak off into the basement or the bedroom or whatever so long as it’s far from the rest of the family,” but it’s not that easy. People don’t live in big houses here. Most people live in apartments. You gonna sneak off and get it on in a room whose wall is connected to the living room? That’s not gonna happen! Oh you wanna get it on in the garage? You mean, the public garage where everyone else in your apartment parks? NOT HAPPENING, unless…you’re creative…

Hence, Love Motels. A whole business model, a whole small economy, based on ludicrous apartment deposits. The same can be said of coffee shops, which are overrun by people on dates, who don’t want to do something romantic in the company of their parents. DVD rooms exist as well, which are supposed to be for watching DVDs, but are – errr – known for people having sex in them as well. DVD rooms are cheaper than Love Motels, so if you’re horny and on a budget, that’s the place to go!

What’s odd, though, is that sexuality isn’t really that openly talked about in Korea, when it’s pretty much in your face a lot of the time. Isn’t Korea one of the highest consumers of porn in the world? And aren’t there rub and tugs everywhere? We have a friend who is Korean but living in Japan, and she was telling us about the difference between Japanese TV and Korean TV. She was watching a prime-time Japanese TV program, with celebrity guests talking about stuff on some chatterbox program, and one of them was telling a story about what one of his ex-girlfriends liked to do with his shpoonk. To which we all looked aghast and said “That would NEVER be on Korean TV,” but would it be on North American TV as well? Canadian? I don’t think so. American? I doubt it. Mexican? I’ve got no clue. I think Mexico’s more open about its sexuality, for some odd reason. Probably because it’s hotter there. Oh hell I don’t know what I’m talking about.

We haven’t really seen any sex shops in Korea as well, as much as we see them where we’re from. There’s a condom shop in Hongdae that we’ve seen, but that’s about all we’ve seen. When we were in Akihabara, Tokyo, though: HOLY SMOKES SO MANY SEX SHOPS EVERYWHERE. Multi-level sex shops. Whole floors dedicated to penis pumps. We know this only because we had to research them for the sake of our videos, of course. POINT IS: we haven’t really seen any sex shops in Korea.

As for the more juicy details our foreign friends have related about their sexual experiences in Korea, there’s no real trend that we can comment on. Some Korean girls are shy and timid, and carry the “oppa!” thing to an uncomfortable sexual level, and some girls are friskier and more dominant. Some guys are great and some are inconsiderate dolts. It’s no different than sex back where we’re from. Some people are great at it and some aren’t.

Anyhow, we’ll leave the floor open for discussion now, though we’re not sure how to open this up for discussion without turning the comment section into NSFW territory. We didn’t talk about prostitution here in Korea, which is related to sexuality, but entirely deserving of its own post, if the topic of Se7en’s massage parlour experience is something people want us to use as a springboard. Side note: the whole “I went in there without knowing what it was! Oops!” excuse is clearly, irrevocably, undeniably, 100% bullshit :D

And now that we’re done talking about sex and shpoonk on Japanese TV, how about we talk about helping our North Korean refugees? Highly inappropriate! But, it’s our last chance to do so, and we really wanted to raise more awareness for it. We made a Tumblr post about it over the weekend, but we wanted to mention it in a TL;DR video where we think more people would be interested in participating. We didn’t want to talk about it in last week’s TL;DR, since the topic was a bit more sensitive than love motels and Dildi.

The point is, this Saturday we’re going to help raise funds for LiNK. If you’re in the area, come hang out with us and chip in a few bucks if you can! If you’re not in the area, as 96% of you aren’t, yet you want to help out, you can still donate online to the Seoul Rescue Team. Either way, if you’re in Korea or not, we hope that you can participate in this somehow :D

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  1. Christina Xu

    its the same when I read Japanese manga. whenever theres a scene where a foreign guy or girl kisses another girl/guy everyone just assumes that because one of them is a foreigner that kissing on the lips is a sort of greeting. I’m just all like no we’re not like that…………….

  2. can anybody say something about celibacy in Korea?? I can’t find anything on the topic…..please!

  3. laura ungson

    HI! i’m from mexico and i think that we are really open about sexuality, for example if you want to be succesfull in tv; in most of the cases, you must have boobs and a big ass, there are programs about sexuality education and the soup operas don’t stand behind :O sometimes, it is really stressful, like, you want to watch good tv, or sometihing like Natgeo and that kind of stuffs and BOOM! sex, ._. on the streets, you can see a lot of teenagers kissing and touching, and almost having sex and i think is really disrespectful, (may be is why they get pregnant so fast , ok no), is good to have an open mind but they must to be limits :E

  4. You’d hear the whole spunk discussion on premium cable in America, but not on any of the broadcast networks. Dunno what you’re trying to do with the whole “shpoonk” spelling – that just seems odd.

    You find love motels in just about every major city in America, only they’re more for prostitutes to do their business, rather than for cheap dates. Usually, they’re very run-down & seedy, not exactly the kind of place you’d want to bring a date…unless she’s really into mice and cockroaches, which is a whole other discussion.

  5. Half-Blind

    Why Se7en is mentioned??

  6. Edelstein

    We have “love motels” in Argentina, we just call them “motel/es” or “telo/s”

  7. I think its everywhere I do not believe all guys Korean are like that its everywhere American Korean to here in Chicago he was also hitting on me to get laid but I think that’s how some guys are I do believe some guys are good . Maybe its also the fact that when we see dramas we think all guys are like the cute drama guy and its like them with media with western culture im sure just cause some guys act dumb not all are like that :D

  8. Talissa Costa

    That awkward moment when you’re brazillian and see a video of someone explaining what a love motel is.

    In Brazil: Hotel = Hotel. Motel = Hotel de beira de estrada (roadside hotel). Love motel = Motel. Yep. Just “motel”. Love motels are just normal here. o-õ

    But the sex massage places, and things like that, and the… prostitutes pamphlets(?) are actually awkward xD Like… Wow! Isn’t porn forbidden in Korea or something like that?

    And it seems that people acctually going to prostitutes is most common in Korea than it is in Brazil, which is kinda… strange? But maybe that is because in Brazil women are “allowed” to talk about sex, and enjoy it and do different things. While in Korea women usually feel less free in bed and guys go to prostitutes to have a more interesting night. -And brazillian women are not “easy” or anything like that o-õ- I don’t know, that is just a old fashioned thought we had. o-o

  9. My comment is just totally NSFW. xD

    Fffffff usually online, I get kdudes doing crap like, “HERE IS A PIC OF MY BUSHY FUCKING DICK. LETS HAVE HAPPY SEX NOW.” Because apparently they think pics of their junk means they have an instant chance with me. Idk. I think it is totally hilarious now. My friend ByungKwon is such a cute sweetheart. I have known him for over a year and I really like him. ❤ He has never talked about sex or tried making a sexual pass at me. I think the idea of it makes him shy and quiet. xD My ( now ex) Korean friend of mine will be like, “LET ME JUST TOTALLY MASTURBATE AND BE NOISY ABOUT IT WHILE WE CASUALLY CHAT ON SKYPE LOL.” I dropped him like a hot fucking potato. :,D ❤ Another friend feels comfortable about telling me things. Like how he started beating off as soon as his dorm roomie left the dorm. Roomie oppa realized he forgot something and walked in on my friend “releasing”. He wanted advice but all I could do was cram my fist into my mouth so I would not burst out laughing like a god damned hyena. God guys are fucking stupid. But it’s super funny at the same time. :B

  10. rentrule12

    I stay in a love hotel by accident in Korea with another female friend. we had the shock look on our faces when we saw the bed, it was a heart shape. It was only 30 bucks that why we stay. No wonder the Korean guy giving us our keys look at us funny.

  11. Pappa Potatoes

    Hey you guys, so some people have told me you don’t get payed till the following month after you start your teaching job so how much money (USD) should I bring? And good Exchange places?

  12. Helen Huh

    How has KPOP evolved over the years (ex: clothes, type of music, stereotypes, etc.)?

  13. what do koreans think about religion? i’m muslim and i don’t eat pork and i don’t drink alcohol and i read somewhere that korean people really love pork (lol and alcohol) and they will find it weird if you don’t eat it. Or what do they think about vegetarians?

  14. Ayumi Aldina

    Hey I really want to know, like, are there people in Korea who conserve themselves and choose to stay as virgins until they get married — and I think there must be some people, but I wanna ask is that a common way of thinking or is it ‘weird’? I mean like, most Americans or Westerns must have thought that virgins are weird or whatevs, but do Koreans think/judge the same way too? Are there many people who stayed as virgins, or just a few? Please answer!

  15. The whole Love Motel topic well my country has them. Usually in the main capital they are located around bars areas but in the really dangerous places of the city, or by the main routes around the metropolitan area. There’s also this type of love motels that actually look like a little suburban complexes where you go in with your car and select the house your going to do your business by parking in the garage and closing its door, probably to secure the privacy of the costumers since well in my country sex it’s still very taboo. Funny enough, we don’t have many apartment buildings so many people have more space to enjoy in the privacy of their own homes but still many young adults don’t have alot privacy since here is very normal for kids to leave their parents house even in their late 20’s so. those are probably the regular costumers of love motels.
    Some other people around here also talked about the sex talks in highschool and unfortunately they don’t work very well in my country considering the high teenage pregnancy rates we have, one reason being that my country is catholic by law (apparently we still live in the XV century), second because many of the parents still leave this subject entirely to schools and third because many adult people stand by the fact that because they are adults they should already know how to jiggy so they don’t educate themselves.

  16. SEMPITERNAL

    Martina likes metallica?

  17. petitange07

    I don’t think love motels are a korean thing, I saw them first in Japan with the same concept, in fact some are reaaally weird. Also if the main purpose of those places is to have sex, well… let’s just say that while growing up I didn’t understand why there were so many hotels and motels in my city if I didn’t see that many turists jaja

  18. Gort damn it Simon! How you gonna answer my question for next week’s TLDR before I even post about it on last week’s forum on the EYK site? I totally wanted to know about how often you see celebrities in your neighborhood (you do kind of live in the heart of the club district) and who you’ve seen and who tends to be hitting the local clubs the most, etc. Ahhh! I still want a TLDR for details!

  19. Sarah

    I am wondering about religion. Are there churches in Korea? Or is it mainly Buddhism?

  20. Conde Gyu

    Hi S&M! So guys, there is a new female group called The Gloss that will debut in the future. The thing is, there’s a french member and there’s a lot of different opinions about that. We all would love to know what do you both think abou it.

  21. Thank God for sexual education in my school system or I would’ve died of laughter on my first night if the guy pulled out a packet filled with a rubber sock and stuck it on their wingwang.

  22. Anthony Rivera

    its the guy from CSI

    it seems to me that the korean guy went to the *pauses* motel

    YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

  23. lol during my freshman yr of college, the RAs walked around the dorm giving out candy and condoms. Funny thing is that all the candy was taken and the condoms remained. Another time, there was this health fair on campus and the campus health center had a display that was ALL about sex. I visited the display, a lady offered me a bracelet and I picked up something thinking it was lipgloss and asked her what it was and she replied “lube” very awkwardly. (I look very young for my age)

  24. Cassie

    There are sex shops in Korea. but they’re very discreet. You have to know what to look for.

    I live in Uijeongbu, and on the main road downtown there’s a sex shop on the 2nd or 3rd floor, but the only way you’d really know it was there is because they put this tiny little yellow sign (it looks like on of those folding signs that say caution wet floor) with simple black lettering saying 성인용품 which literally means ‘adult products’

  25. KATHyphenTUN
    KATHyphenTUN

    LOL! Onf Martina my university had the universal condom bag in the main student union building! I remember walking in on my first day and feeling very awkward lol!! There were also giving out free condoms and pizza at an event on campus! You can now tell simon your right!

  26. Mimmi Rosenius

    When I went to Beijing with my fiancee from China, he apparently rented a hotel room….with see
    through windows to the bathroom… Lets just say that if there had not been any
    curtains to cover MOST of the windows, I would have been constipated and dirty
    from not showering for ten days…

  27. Tanya Bradanovich

    Hey!! ou know what We also have Love Motels in Chile, and it’s kinda the same exact dynamic. They also have themed rooms here though. I do wonder if they have them in Korean love motels…hehe

  28. I remember my boyfriend telling me that he and his closest guy friends have had intense conversations about sex. Men in every country are usually more sexually active, and my Korean boyfriend and his friends have been pals since middle school, so they talk about anythings. They’re all in their mid-twenties now, but apparently none of my bf’s friends use condoms. Ever. They trust themselves to pull out in time. I was so shocked and asked why, and he said that they really weren’t encouraged to use them and, of course, it inhibited how sex felt. Of course, this causes them more pregnancy scares.
    When my bf related his bit of knowledge, that I don’t let anything get too far unless I have birth control AND he has a condom, they were shocked. Whether it was because they were surprised that I use birth control, or surprise because I’m American, I’m still not sure.

  29. I don’t have any comments about this video but Martina, you are SO pretty. That is all :)

  30. I really want to know what are your thoughts on kpop idols “fanservice” and the same-sex couples fans ship.

  31. I really want to know what are your thoughts on kpop idols “fanservice” and the same-sex couples fans ship.

  32. As a disabled wheelchair user that would love to visit, maybe study in Korea I’d love to know how Korea is in general for the disabled? Thank you!

  33. Ely

    What does shpoonk mean? 0.o
    And I think there’s a spelling mistake here: “To which we all looked aghast and said “That would NEVER be on…” :D

  34. this is a really odd question, but I’m very curious, are walls made of concrete or dry-wall? I mean, the building is probably concrete but what about the walls inside?

    Yeah, it’s a weird question. It’s the engineer in me wondering :P

  35. Ragheeba Akhtar

    I was wondering, who are your favorite korean actors/actresses? Which Korean actors are famous in Korea, and which are more famous overseas. And what are your thoughts on idol actors? What do people in korea think about them? And are dramas which are famous overseas also famous in Korea or is there a difference in popularity?
    Hope it’s not a too long question! Thanks for always making these videos!

  36. One thing I’ve recently started to notice is that female kpop idols have been a lot more open about sexuality and sing about how females shouldn’t be afraid to make the first move in a relationship. On top of this there was also “I Don’t Need A Man” by Miss A that promoted female independence. Is there some sort of feminist movement going on in Korea? Why are the songs not as cutsey as they used to be, but more confident now? Maybe none of this means anything but my interest has definitely been sparked!

    • lordofreimes

      This is what I’d call faux-feminism or consumer feminism. Kpop idols sing themes that just happen to popular at the current time and really has no relevance to socio-cultural movements.

      Note that almost all the “feminist” songs have English titles and appear on the surface to the Western fans to be very much about female power. That’s as far as “feminism” in Kpop goes – the title. All the Korean lyrics mostly revert to the status quo of longing for the boy.

      The best example would be the English vs Korean version of SNSD’s “The Boys”. The English version lyrics are very much typical Destiny’s Child style female power while the Korean version has zero similarity and has quite the opposite meaning.

      Compare the climax of each song; Taeyeon’s high note –
      English – Can’t get the best of me, I’ma be what I wanna be. This is deep in my heart.
      Korean – I think I’m falling more and more for you, who is becoming more and more perfect (My heart)

      English is about female independence. Korean is about falling in love for a PERFECT boy.

      The English titles appeal to the Western fans, while the Korean lyrics mask the unoriginal meaning. The Korean lyrics appeal and are acceptable to Korean ‘uncles’ and Korean Censorship, while the English song title masks the actual contextual meaning – bypassing the discomfort that would be felt by the Korean cultural patriarchy.

      TL;DR – Female Independence through Kpop? Non-existent.

      • Well Miss A’s I Don’t Need A Man had a pretty strong message of female independence, so i wouldn’t say it’s non existant

        • lordofreimes

          See http://thegrandnarrative.com/2012/12/09/ga-in-bloom-female-empowerment/
          and comments in http://seoulbeats.com/2012/10/need-a-man-miss-a-says-forget-about-it/
          about why it is not about true female independence.

          TheGrandNarrative (a great site for Korea socio-culture and feminism reviews) – “while Miss A’s “I don’t need a man” looks like it’s gunning for female empowerment, at the end it’s still feeding into a discourse that men made for a “good girl” or a “sensible woman” in Korea.”

          Seoulbeat’s Best ranked comment among many good ones -“They still frame womanhood as something inherently related to men somehow. Is it really that hard to be independent and assert that independence without talking about a man to be independent from?”

          Additionally, it’s clear from the lyrics that Miss A is talking to a man. Their message isn’t that they don’t need a man at all – their message is they don’t need a man to buy them the basics and exuberant luxuries. Which of course in Western culture comes quite obviously – most guys would expect the girls to pay for their own rent, clothing and handbags. No one wants a girl who leeches off them. The Korean perspective on this is explored in TheGrandNarrative article.

  37. Jeanne Beck

    Darn I’m going back to the US on Friday. Hope the fundraiser goes well!

  38. I watched this video after rereading some old news about Junjin(Shinhwa) MV “Wa” and how its rated 19+. I’m like how is it 19+! Maybe sexuality is just not something that people feel comfortable to teach there. Cabbage patch kidz anyone?

  39. Marisol Tena

    Hahaha!! You said to ask, so I’m asking (even though I already know). ^_^

    Hey guise! What’s “starfish”? What does it have to do with boom boom jiggity time? Lol.

  40. ohthatlove

    I once saw a birth control pill advertisement on a Korean fashion magazine that I bought. It’s call “피임약” in Korean. I feel kind of weird to see such an ad because i have never seen such an ad on Singapore magazines.

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