Korea: why the painful massages? It seems like for any massage to be considered relaxing here, it has to be extremely painful. We’ve done foot massages in Korea before, and they hurt so bad that Martina actually cried while she was getting them done. CRIED! And she’s a tough one. She asked the guy massaging her feet to be gentler, but he looked at her with an icy heart and just kept going. Her skin was actually covered in bruises from it! Also, we did the Swan Neck Massagers of DOOM that hurt like hell as well. Today we wanted to play with these hand roller massage thingies, and – yet again – we felt a lot of pain.

Massage ball packaging

This packaging has it's butt kicked by these evil evil balls.

Look at the poor packaging. You thought we were joking when we said that the balls had ruined the packaging? No, we weren’t joking. These balls are really sharp and really uncomfortable. If they did this to the plastic, what do you think it’ll do to your hands? Give you the soft smoothness of a hand model, or give you the calloused rugged mitts of a 50 year old farmer? Probably the latter. And, really, in what situation would you think to yourself, “man, I could really go for some really spiky pain on my hands right about now”? None. Guise. None.

Come on Korea! Stop with all the pain already! Do you have any massages or relaxing items that don’t hurt a lot? We get the whole idea that after suffering pain you feel better, no pain no gain, yada yada, but that’s bullcrap. It’s like doing an experiment where you starve me for a month and then give me a regular boring hamburger. Yes, it will taste delicious, but not because the hamburger was special in any way. It’s the contrast that makes you appreciate it more. Instead, how about not starving me, and making me a wicked delicious hamburger? Same with massages. How about you make it feel good right away, rather than making me endure some severe pain first in order to appreciate the feeling of not-pain?

I don’t know. Also, we’ve seen pressure point hand massagers before, but this one was actually too painful to feel the pressure points. It felt like rubbing a cactus into your hand. No fun. I think Martina’s hidden ball of doom prank might be the real reason these things exist. They could use them in war time situations to blow out car tires. Seriously. Give it to a porcupine to play with and it’ll flee in pain.
Has anyone else used these devilish things before?

As for this month’s Wonderful Treasure Find care package award winner, the prize goes to notochrasyy on YouTube, who said:

I wouldn’t smuggle anything really. I would use them like a rubbish bin, since I have a really bad habit of sticking rubbish like food wrappers, scrap paper etc in my pockets…and my pocket gets really full of stuff ;o; lol, so I’d just use the arm protector things like rubbish pockets. Then once I find a large rubbish bin/trashcan/lolwhataretheyeve­ncalled, huzzah, pull them off my arm and empty into bin/trashcan :D

I could totally relate to this, only because Martina hates putting things in her pockets, so she puts her trash and stuff in my pockets or my bag. Totally…not…fair. If you’re the winner, please send us an email or a message and we’ll mail out your prize ASAP.

And on that note, here are this week’s Bloopers:

  1. Sorry for your pain, I have a hairbrush that is in a cylinder shape and has really pointy spikes coming out everywhere. I tried rolling it back and forth on my hands and it did not hurt at all. I tried doing it longer and I still did not feel any pain. At all. I even tried slamming it into my hand, no pain. It actually felt relaxing, I am 30% korean, I so want to get this b/c it makes me feel relaxed. Not crazy, and my hands feel healthier already.Still doing it right now, it does tickle a bit. :)

  2. When Simon put his feet in the shoes, I literally spit out the water that I was drinking all over my laptop. I’m just glad I was drinking water, not…messier stuff.

  3. Liked the expression of Simon when Martina said “I’m picturing litte tiny rounded tips…” ahahah Mr. Dirty! But yeah, I thought it too ¬_¬

  4. two words – cultural difference. I don’t find anything wrong with it and I find it relaxing :)

  5. When I went to my grandma’s she had those, except the tips were actually rounded, and it was actually relaxing. This reminds me of the stone paths that are in parks. They hurt your feet so much!

  6. the t-shirt of the week is pretty funny, 2 btw…. ^^

  7. this is weird cuz my korean friend always gives me massages and he is firm but its not like OH MY GOD MY BODY IS BEING TORN APART AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i guess he’s just gentle … or i’m tough

  8.  that will help blood flow in your body.

  9. O_O! spudgy so cute! i has 3 shih tzu’s <3

  10. I think I saw “밤송이” on the packaging, which means chestnut fruit, and you know how they are covered with really spiky, needle-like bur, so I guess at least they tried to warn in Korean. The whole “massage your hands with thousands of needles that could literally puncture your skin, and get…healthier” theory probably comes from acupuncture. Your hands (and feet as well) supposedly contain links to all the organs in the body, and stimulating those links are believed to be beneficial, although I’m not sure real acupuncturists would recommend blindly poking your hands or feet..

  11. ok…so my conclusion is:
    I would totally buy it, if I can, to carry out my revenge on my bf…the way Martina did with Simon.
    You just gave me wonderful wonderful ideas. I love you so much.
    To my dear bf: You should thank Simon and Martina because they helped me out in planning your doom day. ^^

  12. Those things do look painful …

    Martina was correct. If you attach a stick to the spiky ball, it will become a mace and not a maul. Maces have symmetrical heads. A more accurate term would be the “Morningstar”! 
    But surely there would be some placed where you could get the relaxing massages, the ones where you close your eyes and feel all the tension slipping away. You could always ask the KPop idols where they get their massages :P

  13. ELLY!  Ha!  I didn’t know you’d check out our site :D  Good to hear from you

    (For those of you who don’t know who Elly is, she was the translator in our Kimchi Adventure videos)

  14. You could try rolling it on your back..the skin is a bit thicker so it may not hurt as bad.. itll hurt but not as bad maybe xD

  15. Martina’s picture, before you click play, looks like she is yawning.  So I yawn.

    And…I just did it again.

  16. Hopefully hand massage ball design has not migrated over to Ben Wa ball design. That would be just cruel. (Although if you could make the swap undetected, it would probably be a much more satisfying prank than than the “spikey ball in the shoe” routine. Only on a woman who done you wrong, of course…..)

  17. when i was younger i used to feel the same way (i am of korean heritage, btw).  i couldn’t understand why all massages, pressure-point items, scrubs/exfoliation pads were so painful.  oddly, now i find all of those things very soothing, relaxing, and 시원해.  i dont think “refreshing” and “cool” quite cover the context of the word.  maybe add a tinge of “relaxing”?.  i can’t explain it, but now i love those things.  maybe koreans as a culture are slightly masochistic?  then again looking at history, it may be a defense mechanism…

  18. Martina love your evil laugh ^^ (I forgot how to spell “evil” O_o)
    I have some massage balls and they looks like yours but they are not that painful.. my is plastic and they really doing what they must to do…em…yeah ^^;

  19. maybe it’s b/c it’s from daiso? i’ve seen metal ones and the spikes on those were rounded and it wasn’t too painful..

  20. lmao Simon; her name is pronounced not ok rass ee.

  21. Darth Maul is much scarier, so Simon win!

  22. Once again you guys have made my day just as it started! Got to love the evil Martina laugh! :D Thank you! Now off for my Chem test!

  23. You guys saved my BORING Wednesday!
    THANK YOU!!!!

Related Latest Trending