June 15, 2011
Yeah, we know that this isn’t really as weird as our Japanese Instant Boobs. Nothing will ever live up to the awesome bizarreness of those boobs. These chopsticks, though, we found quite befitting for what we’re doing this week. Martina’s parents are visiting us from Canada – Hooray! – and they’re not really skilled in chopstick usage, so these training chopsticks are just the thing for them. And, hey, maybe they’re just the thing for you as well, if you don’t know how to use chopsticks yet. You could win them in our WTF Care Package contest next week. Sweet!
Anyhow, we’re not sure how well these work to begin with. I mean, they work, in that they’ll pick up food for you in a chopstick like manner, but I’m not sure if they’ll do much for teaching you how to use them. You stick your fingers in the holes, and those holes are attached to the chopsticks, so move your fingers and the chopsticks move with you. It doesn’t teach you, though, how to hold the chopstick with your thumb. It’s lazy, no? Maybe it’s like training wheels: they teach you how to ride, sure, but they don’t teach you the most important part of riding: how to balance your bike and not fall on your face and run home crying to your mom about how much you hate biking and never want to bike again. That’s a very important lesson to learn.
The packaging was just ridiculous, though: these chopsticks, supposedly, boost your IQ and EQ? We weren’t even sure what EQ was (we had to Google it. “Emotional Intelligence”. Cool!) and now that we know what it is we’re not even sure how these chopsticks will help you develop emotionally. Anyone trained in child psychology here? We need answers! Martina’s guess is this: if you’re that one kid in kindergarten who can’t use chopsticks to save your life, and everyone teases you for it, these trainers will help teach you, so that you’re not teased anymore, and thus no longer in emotional turmoil. Is that it?
Another question: when do Asian kids begin to learn how to use chopsticks? They’re hard to use, after all! Simon learned in his grade 10 English class when someone did a presentation on multiculturalism (great presentation, by the way!) Martina had a really close Japanese friend as a neighbour, and so Martina learned how to use them when she was really young. But she was taught by her friend. How old was her friend when she learned how to use chopsticks? Miki? Are you reading this? We hope you are reading this. We’re gonna email you just to tell you to read this.
So that’s it for this week. If anyone knows anything about these, please let us know.