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COMMENTS

Time for another Open the Whoopass on a Movie video. Yay! This time, I’m talking about why Man of Steel was a terrible sack of crap. I was harsh on Iron Man 3, but…whooooaaaa. Man of Steel was a lot lot lot lot worse. If you haven’t seen it yet, don’t watch it. If you get frustrated by the illogical actions of idiots for the sake of plot pushing, don’t watch this movie. Watch Star Trek: Into Darkness. If you’ve seen it, and want to spend your money on Man of Crap, spend your money on a ticket for Star Trek again. Watching that movie twice is better than watching Man of Steel once.

One of the points I forgot to mention in the video is this: yes, I know you might be confused and wondering what channel you’re watching. Who am I, and why am I on the eatyourkimchi channel? Eatyourkimchi is mostly Simon and Martina. Simon wears glasses. You don’t have glasses, weird angry guy, so WHO ARE YOU?!?! Sure, that’s part of the Superman mythology, that he puts on glasses and people can’t recognize him, but COME ON! Laurence Fishbird saw this white dude flying in the air in blue spandex. I think he’d remember if someone looked like him in the future! BARGH!

Another point: at the end of the movie the city sure does look fine and dandy, rather than a city that was nearly DESTROYED UTTERLY INTO DUST. You know how much money it would cost to repair that all? Who’s paying the bill? Lex Luthor?

Ah. I don’t know. It’s like they started writing the screenplay for the movie thinking “I want to see Superman fight other Supermen,” wrote in those parts, and then came up with drivel to fill in the rest of the movie. The villains were stupid. Superman was kinda stupid. The plot was stupid. The climax was stupid. All of it, just a really, really bad film.

Maybe you’re DC biased, and Superman is one of your favorite characters ever, so you feel you have to watch it. First of all, where are you?! I haven’t met a single person who likes Superman. The idea of him is cool, but I’ve never met anyone into reading Superman comics and being like “yeah, Superman rocks!” I read “Kingdom Come” and Superman sucked. If anyone can recommend a Superman comic line worth reading, please share. I need to try to find something good about him.

ToFebruary
  1. Hilarious! Also, when grade-school Clark Kent freaked out and ran off to hide in a closet, why did the teacher bring her ENTIRE CLASS with her to try and talk him out? Did she think it would calm Clark down to have every single classmate who teases Clark standing around like an audience? And then have them all stand around in the hallway until Ma Kent could drive all the way down to the school? WTF kind of school is this?

  2. Superman sucks. He would bow before the might of Ultron. Before I snapped his neck with my pinky finger of course.

  3. I’m really late, but I completely agree Simon. This movie was really bad. Plot was weak, character development was weak, Superman was disappointing, Lois was a pushover, and there was no point in having Martha Kent even in the movie. And don’t even get me started on the camera techniques either. I’ve seen the movie twice and all I can recall is lens flare, shaky camera movement, monochromatic colors, and narration. It felt like I was watching a documentary. It was boring, and the characters were so shallow, I don’t even know where to begin to pick out their flaws. Now I’m not picking on the actors. They were decent, and Cavil did a great Clark Kent. Maybe not a great Superman, but a great Clark because we know Clark has always been hesitant about who he is. I’m picking on the writers/directors because they did a horrible job. The character interaction and development is pitifully weak.

    I think Tom Hiddleston describes this best.

    “What Marvel is so clever at is they make their heroes flawed, and their villains heroic. So there’s layers to everyone, and it makes for better characters.”

    And no, I’m not a Marvel fanboy. I’m more of a Teen Titans/Young Justice(so sad it was canceled)/Batman nut.

    All in all, the movie lacked layers and character development.

    Don’t buy the MOS blu-ray dvd, because it was horrible. Do yourselves a favor and pick up Justice League: Flashpoint, Batman: Dark Knight Returns, superman/shazam the return of black adam, Justice League Doom, JL: Crisis on Two Earths and/or superman vs the elite instead. Those movies do Superman justice. Superman is cool in those. Superman is lame in Man of Steel.

  4. What a pitty simon !!! :-) you can only give suck comments, rather than make a good and entertaining movie… Where did you train your suck comments?…. On a farm ??!!.. :-D

  5. Eventually… I acknowledge Simon is suck. Thanks for your suck comments.

  6. Just found this article and gotta to admit with you. This film is suck. It’s like they try to make another The dark knight but much worse. I know that they want to express another side of heroes, the dark side but common, the whole movie is just fighting, crushing, destroying and the characters is so stupid. And yeah, Star Trek is so much better. After Joker and Dr,Hanabal, Khan is the third villain I am really in love. I wonder why the heroes movies now concentrate so much on heroes, so much that like they forget about villains

  7. firstly the reason they put zod and his allies into a ship and into the negative zone is because they didnt believe Jor-el when he said that the planet is dying so they thought that zod was just terrorist.

    2. the ship that zod is on is connected to krypton so when krypton was destroyed the ship systems went offline releasing zod and his cronies and even is the movie talks about how they managed to salvage the ship travel to on of their off planet colonies and salvages supplies and stuff because the colonies had no krytpon to keep them running

    3.clarks father dying in the tornado and him not saving him was for him to protect his identity and then when he’s on the oil rig he had no choice but to rip the door off and save those guys as no one would probably would have believed them seeing as there was chemicals everywhere burning they could have halucinated it all and the fact the rig came down on top of would have made them believe he was dead.

    4.if had actually watched the movie properly you would have seen there was a walkway leading up to the top where clark was

    5.if you read the comics he travels the world to hone his powers so he would have learnt some medical practices aswell while traveling.

    6. no we cant say that his dad knew his freakin waist size but its a skin tight suit so it would have been a small suit that stretched to fit his body..oh and the fact that they’re and alien race who more advanced technology then ours i think they would make suits to fit the wearers body shape

    7.lois on the ship was purely because the female kryptonian indirectly threatened them if they didnt comply with zods orders. Lois being a reporter and sticking to a persona would have been curious about and gone any with or without superman

    8.zod wouldnt have lost their powers because dont forget they wanted to recreate planet krypton on earth on the freakin sun itself as the sun the source of there powers if you paid attention to the movie read the comics…yellow sun = powers krytpons red sun= no powers…and zod would be a bad guy if he did things in a civil way.

    9. he didnt know it would work lois told him it would work and lois was told by the hologram of jor el the guy who designed and created the ship that why she runs to him and tells him i know how to stop zod because she didnt get a chance to earlier because clark flew off.

    10. lois made herself part of the mission and also because she’s the on who told them how to stop zod. And also again if you paid attention to the film that freakin scientist said that there codex or there only way to bring kryptons people to earth was to to use the codex that was bonded to clarks blood so even if zod killed superman all he need was supermans blood dead or alive. zod even ask if the scientist does he need to be alive the scientist says no

    11.If you saw a whole load of fireball and debris falling and loud crashing and slaming your gona be able to make your way there somehow

    for pete sake people who come up with these stupid reasons as to why the movie sucked its unbelievalbe even though if you actually paid attention in the movie all of it would be answered and make sense. also if you read the comics it would make sense. In my opinion this was the best superman movie since the christopher reeve adaptations. I’d love to see some these haters make a superman movie see if they can do better

  8. Please review Pacific Rim

  9. it really is supersucked , watched it at megabox coex and i was sleeping until 30 minutes before it ends , not just me the guy besides me too hahahaha

  10. Was waiting for the movie to go to 2D coz I hate having to put the 3D glasses on top of my glasses. (I hate contacts, the devils). I totally agree. Can I just add WTF was with Superman watching the villains WALK INTO THEIR SHIP AND FLY OFF!!!!! I don’t know how this kinda thing works ( and I’m no super human) but if the bad guy were getting away right in front of my eyes I would chuck something!! Try one of those many trucks and tanks they’d been chucking at you in EVERY SINGLE FIGHT SCENE Superman!!!! And I cant express badly enough how this entire would’ve been just fine without Lois Lane in it. Anybody else feel like there still would’ve been a movie? IDK, that’s just me. I could go on…. and I shall~!!! How bout how they tried so hard to shove as many scenes as they could into one movie when they easily could’ve made 2!!! I’d pay to watch a sequel, if the first one wasn’t so badly botched. I don’t get hoe one minute Clark is in an grill room, them BAM, we’re in the dessert and he’s being picked up by Zod and crew. (beats me). And really super people?? Where did the RED and Blue suit come from? I saw all of Krypton. There was no sign of colourful happiness on that planet, even before it blew up. Just saying, where did you guys learn colours from???? (I might be stretching here, but whatever). I feel like the whole flashback into Clarks history could’ve been better handled. (Like in the grill room maybe). All of the earth scenes just started in the wrong place for me. The scenes were there, they just could’ve been put in a better, neater order. I’m getting out of hand here…. Just my take on things. Cringed more than a few times in that movie. I was thoroughly disappointed. Can I get a Super Refund?!!!

  11. Anyhoodledoodlepoodle<3

  12. hi simon and martina!! i was wondering if there is anywhere in toronto i can buy kpop albums??

  13. Well Simon, if you didn’t like that original movie maybe you’ll like the musical: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHsZk67BbN8 =P

  14. I think it’s funny that in your blog post you say that you haven’t met anyone who likes Superman, because my sister’s husband is the biggest Superman fanboy I’ve ever met, lol. He adores Superman, and collects any memorabilia he can afford. He’s seen the new Man of Steel movie four times now (which is excessive IMO but to each his own).

    I saw the movie for the first time yesterday, and I enjoyed some parts. I cried when Jore-El and Lara sent Kal-El away, and when Jonathan refused his son’s rescue during the tornado. The visuals were very well-done, and it felt like a superhero movie.

    Some parts of the movie I didn’t like, however, or didn’t make sense. The destruction of Metropolis and at the end of the film made me uncomfortable; it was excessive and too drawn-out. Lois’ relationship with Clark was too rushed, and Lois didn’t really have proper development herself. The scenes at the Airforce base in Antarctica drove me nuts; Amy Adams is traipsing around in minimal layers without freezing to death, the airmen run out into the cold wearing only Columbia fleece jackets, it doesn’t make sense! When Lois took her camera out into the cold with NO PROTECTION, I was really annoyed. Her camera shouldn’t have even worked for as long as it did in such extreme freezing temperatures, and it would have served her right for being so stupid. I’d like to see Perry rip her a new one for being irresponsible with Daily Planet equipment.

    To be honest, I didn’t really go into the movie expecting much from the plot itself. I mean, really, the original Superman story is pretty simple already. In addition, consider Snyder’s other works. I haven’t seen 300 or Watchmen (yet), but Suckerpunch is an excellent example of how Snyder can create beautiful movies that seriously lack in the plot department, and I think Man of Steel is an example of that as well.
    Before the movie, the theatre ran the first trailer for 300: Rise of an Empire, which is supposed to be the prequel for 300. Snyder is not directing, but he is listed as a producer and screen writer. God help that film.

    In hindsight, I would have waited until Man of Steel was released on netflix instead of spending $10 at the theatre, but it’s a good movie for one of those days when you feel like turning off your brain for a couple hours for some cool visuals.

  15. FancyJude

    So much for opening the happy…. I’m kidding. This is hilarious!

  16. Hahaha… I haven’t watched the movie but now I don’t think I want to. Good job Simon, good job.

  17. I agree with you Simon on many points. I didn’t feel like this was a Superman movie. I thought the flashbacks editing was choppy and interdispersed with a spacey action film. I was hoping for a more deep plunge into Superman’s struggle being accepted and growing up. I hated the splicing of Kypton genes into his DNA…Bad plot device, and I didn’t like that they tried to give Zod a purpose. He is suppose to be a psycho path…don’t try to soften him up with genetic breeding,etc.

  18. Just watched it and I have to agree with Simon, I thought a lot of that as I was watching it…. too much spent on action, so little on telling a good story. The one from the 1980s was actually better…

  19. I enjoyed the hell out of your rant, Simon. I may still go see this tomorrow morning, but now I will giggle quietly to myself and murmur ‘general zoidberg’ every time Zod is on screen and/or someone says his name.

  20. I kind of agree on some of the points you made (mostly about Lois – I felt like the writers didn’t really know what to do with her, so they shoehorned her into the action scenes to keep her from being a damsel on the sidelines, but just ended up making her awkward). As for most of your other points, though, I have to disagree. And – oh God, sorry about this, it just seems like the most organized way to go about things – I’m gonna be one of those people arguing with you point by point. XD

    1 – I thought, from the conversation Jor-El was having with the Kryptonian leaders, that Krypton was in trouble because of decisions that those leaders had made about harvesting some kind of resource from the planet’s core, and the leaders were taking the stance of, “Of COURSE the planet isn’t dying, silly boy, because that would mean our poor decision-making has led to the deaths of millions and the end of our race/civilization as we know it. Everything’s fine. Move along folks, nothing to see here!” Basically they had convinced themselves that they hadn’t killed the planet, that the only problem was Zod’s little coup, so once they caught him they could just follow SOP and tuck him away in black-hole-prison (which was broken apart when the planet blew up).

    2 – We never saw Zod arranging his coup. It’s not exactly impossible that Scientist Guy decided to help them overthrow the government, is it? Scientists get that revolutionary feeling, too, Simon! And I got the feeling that the whole pod-baby, born-for-specific-purposes thing kind of made a lot of the Kryptonians interchangeable, so I didn’t think he was a scientist who just so happened to have a PhD in Supermanology, I just figured he knew stuff that all Kryptonian scientists would know.

    3 – I actually really liked how this movie made Jonathan Kent so obsessive about protecting Clark that he was kind of an asshole about it (“LET THEM BITCHES DROWN!!1!”). He was willing to sacrifice innocent bystanders, and emotionally damage his son, because he was so focused on keeping his son’s secret. And as for Clark not arguing with him about going to get the dog – it seemed to me that Jonathan’s zealotry about the secret-keeping had basically brainwashed Clark. When Jonathan died, Clark was still just a teenager, terrified of who he really was and of anybody finding out his secret (a fear his father had been pounding into his head for years). And that’s what makes his transformation to Superman difficult for him, he’s been desperately trying to live up to his father’s wishes for him, but unable to stop himself from using his powers to help people (probably BECAUSE OF his failure to save his father, Psych 101), and then feeling guilty/punishing himself every time he does.

    And I don’t think you’re giving enough credit to the fact that Smallville is so, well, SMALL, dammit. I grew up in a town with less than 450 people and I can tell you, everybody is constantly all up in everybody else’s business. After the thing with the bus? There’s absolutely no way anyone in Smallville would ever have even pretended to believe Clark was just a normal guy once he emerged miraculously unharmed from a monster tornado. You really can’t compare that to half a dozen complete strangers on a burning oil rig who are in the dark, choking, about to die, partially blinded by smoke, have never seen him before, and will never see him again.

    4 – Lois’s characterization was awkward, but the ice-climbing thing wasn’t really what bothered me. She’s a Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative journalist who has just been informed that it’s so cold she will die if she stays outside for too long, and then she seems some guy climbing a mountain in a t-shirt. That next Pulitzer ain’t gonna win itself, baby!

    5 – Agreed, fixing a lazer burn by burning it with a lazer is silly. But as for knowing about cauterization in the first place, that’s not exactly rocket science. And by this point, Clark is a Kansas farmboy who has been wandering around deliberately inserting himself into dangerous situations and saving people for years, so it’s not hard to believe he would’ve learned how to use his powers for some field first aid by then.

    6 – LMFAO he’s a superhero from an extremely advanced alien race and you’re wondering how his suit fit? Sure, alien fabric that can mold itself to fit the wearer is lazy writing, but it’s hardly an impassable obstacle. (And check the canon for how Superman shaves, silly. :D)

    7 – Zod knew Superman had been born naturally, not in a pod, which he saw as heretic and freaky. I assumed he didn’t know what he’d be able to get from Supe via the mind-reading trick, so he brought Lois along as a backup, to serve as both a hostage/bargaining chip and a potential source of information regarding Superman and the rest of the planet. Also, Zod is kind of implied to be a SuperHitler. He’s completely dismissive of humans, which is pretty evident by his willingness to kill us all. I think they all saw Lois as so insignificant that it wasn’t worth the waste of their limited manpower to have someone constantly with her.

    8 – Simon, think about what you’re saying. You’re asking why a comic book supervillain didn’t try to take the civil, morally-sound course of action. The man was ready to wipe out all the Kryptonians who’d stood against his coup in the beginning! If he’s willing to commit genocide against his own people, why would he care what happens to a bunch of humans?

    9 – I felt like Zod didn’t like that Earth was changing his Kryptonian-ness, even if it was changing him for the better. He was all about preserving Krypton as he thought it was supposed to be, remember? He wasn’t looking to advance it, or improve it; his only purpose had been to preserve it, and since he’d failed so profoundly at that, all he had left to do was replicate it as closely as he could.

    10 – Superman didn’t know about crashing the ships together. Jor-El did. That’s why he told Lois “I know how to stop them.” And then she ran up to Superman and said, “I know how to stop them.” :) Again, it’s lazy writing, but it does work.

    (*coughcough* Also, I know it’s not intentional, but you’re starting to sound a weeee bit condescending with the Kansas farm boy bit. *coughcough*)

    11 – Agreed, Lois was awkward. Awkward is better than whining, useless, damsel in distress, but they could’ve done so much better with her character.

    12 – Dude, Zod was batshit insane. It’s kind of his thing, what with the genocide and the spit-on-you-as-I-scream-in-your-face monologues – and that was BEFORE he was frozen (which looked like it hurt), launched into a black hole, watched his planet blow up (which meant he’d failed spectacularly at his only purpose for being alive), sucked in some Earth fumes (which made him like Superman, who he saw as an abomination already, just for the way he’d been born), and had his ass kicked around by said abomination.

    13 – Yeah, I don’t even know, that final battle went on way too long and I got confused. XD

    14 – …see previous answer. They bounced around Metropolis so much I had no idea who was where by the end.

    Anyway, I enjoyed the movie. Sure, it had some plot holes and some lazy writing, but I don’t need my summer superhero movies to be perfect. As long as I leave feeling entertained, I’m cool. :)

  21. I agree with a lot of the stuff you’ve brought up. I just went to see it and I was expecting something phenomenal when I heard that my sister thought it was good, but then I was constantly going, “Wait, what? Why is this happening this way?!”

    We want Lois Lane on the alien space craft. How are we going to do that? Uh, I don’t know, how ’bout General Z just demands that she come? He can interrogate her or something. Okay.

    What? No…. No. The way that happened was just awkward. I kept re-writing scenes that I didn’t like in my head while I watched it.The parts that were good were really good and then the bad parts… blah. My favorite part was just before the soldier dude flew their aircraft into the alien ship, where he recites the whole “A good death” thing back in the alien chicks face. I was like, “Yeah, in yo face!” Then, we went through about a thousand and one scenes of Superman and GZ smashing through walls. *sigh*

    p.s. They knew how to defeat GZ because Lois Lane was told what to do by Jor-El. Still, awkward.

  22. Again, this is not open the Simon negativity!! This is Open The Happy!!! Create a new channel dude!!! Where does this fall under Open The Happy? I never wanted to see that movie yet, you told me about it. This should be call Open And Ruin My Childhood By Simon!!! Really dude, atleast wait 3 months!!!

    • Um, pretty sure you’re not forced to watch every video from the channel. If you didn’t want to see the movie or hear about it, DON’T PLAY THE VIDEO. The title makes it pretty clear what it is.

  23. I Lost My Pants In Omaha

    For another point of view, see Angry Joe’s review. I liked the movie as a reboot to a stale franchise, it is not the comic book Superman or the candy-ass Christopher Reeve. Simon must of gone to the bathroom & missed Jor-El explaining to Lois how to stop Zod.

  24. I thought the movie was awesome and I’m not even a major Superman fan. Sure they didn’t really have much of a plot but the badass fight scenes were good enough.

  25. Thank you. Thank you. I was the one asking in the live stream if you’d seen it or not, cause I knew you’d RAGE. I was dragged with for a friend’s birthday (she’s a superman fan–like hardcore) and even she was like “meh” afterwards. I was that person in the theatre laughing at inappropriate times–SO BAD! Thanks for raging on all the things I hated. You missed one of my favorite plot holes though, when S.man went to tell the army commander his plan to turn it into a blackhole everyone was like a) “we know what krypton is and how what you’re talking about will work!” and b) “S.man is totally on our side back him up we take orders from him!” When at the end they’re trying to track him down again….

  26. +100000 AGREED! MAN OF STEEL was a vomit of explosions!

  27. irritablevowel

    Simon, in light of your review, I think you will appreciate this Man of Steel summary I saw on i09

    http://io9.com/the-most-important-scenes-from-man-of-steel-as-i-remem-516405346

  28. Hi Simon. Thank you for sharing your opinions regarding “Man of Steel.”

    I had watched “Iron Man” and agreed w/ many of the points you made in your movie review of it. “Iron Man” was good, but I also felt like the movie was all about Tony Stark instead. Although that one scene in the beginning when Tony uses his suit to attach to Pepper’s body while their house is being blown up was EPIC-LY AWESOME!! :P

    I wasn’t wanting to see “Man of Steel” while it’s in theaters, but I’ll definitely watch it when it appears on DVD or TV. :)

  29. Laurence Fishbird!! :DDDDD Great shouty-review — I really enjoy these. Also, looks like you and Martina are doing a wonderful job with the new healthier lifestyle — inspires me to be better every day :) keep it comin’. btw, the two most distracting things to me about the promo campaign for the film in the US (bc I won’t be watching the film even though I love Michael Shannon and Henry Cavill) 1: they won’t say Superman… why? they pointedly avoid it and 2: the design of his costume– straps that point at his crotch like an arrow? No red underpants, but new crotch-pointing straps? the actual heck?

  30. lol Superman II still rocks for me. Aint gonna watch this one

  31. So right, I saw the movie yesterday and thought the plot was complete crap… The special effects were mind blowing but I wish I hadn’t watched it in 3D ’cause I don’t think I’ll be recovering my eyesight anytime soon. Anyway huge budget, huge cast, huge disappointment. I do love Superman and I thought that this movie was a waste of such a talented cast and crew…

  32. Simon,hi! I’m a fan of EYK, but i have to say: this videos are not good for the image of EYK and so are a mistake – don’t have anything to do with Life in Korea or KPop. Martina’s makeup and hair videos connect nicely with KPop, korean fashon and style.Spudgy and Dr. Meemersworth are awesome, korean members of your crew and are kriminaly cute, so theyr videos are ok and fun. And then there are youre videos… don’t have anything to do with your work up until now. And although entertaining are way too onesided , subjektive and personal. You need you own kanal – wlog for this.

  33. Ugh, Superman. It’s like he’s this perfect, all-awesome power-having, unstoppable guy that gets beat all the time anyway. At least for a while before he predictably comes back to beat the bad guys. Sooo so lame. So lame. Lame.

    Star Trek was amazing. I really like the first new movie, so I was a little worried that the second one would be trying too hard to create conflict, but it was perfect. PERFECT I TELL YOU!

    Also, I feel like Zachary Quinto makes the more-than-slightly frustrating character of Spock the most likable of any incarnation – just in my opinion. ^^

  34. Thank you! I am a huge DC fan, but Superman is such a stupid douche in the comics. How does anyone like him?

  35. Isabel Ruby

    lol haven’t watched the movie but this was hilarious regardless XD

  36. BATMAN MEET IMMORTALS HOPEMAN? WTF? NOT A SUPERMAN MOVIE, I´M DISAPPOINTED.

  37. BATMAM MEET IMMORTALS=HOPEMAN? WTF?, MOVIE FAILURE, I´M DISAPPOINTED.

  38. ”And then, he was froze.”

    Oh, Simon…

  39. Thank you Simon. I didn’t really want to go see this movie anyways, but now I have many more solid reasons in which to give people who will try to get me to watch it anyways.

    ALSO.. this is my new favorite quote. “Anywhoodle, doodle poodle.” ^_^

  40. Ditto bro. I haven’t seen Star Trek: Into Darkness yet but I plan on it very soon, I was planning on seeing Man of Steel but I think I’d rather see ST:ID twice in a row.

  41. Yay for all the (dis)agreeing on here like “adults” =D

    I can’t see I agree (or disagree) since I haven’t seen the movie, but I enjoyed the video nonetheless. ^.^

  42. Jor El tells Lois about the baby ship crashing into the big ship stuff which is why she is on the mission… Other than that pretty dead on.

  43. Superman:Secret Origins, Superman’s death, All Star Superman, Superman: Brainiac, etc.. But if you’re byassed to hate Superman there’s no comic for you

  44. A really great Superman story is Red Son: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superman:_Red_Son

  45. Prefer batman/batfamily

  46. Couldn’t bring myself to watch the show – I have NEVER liked Superman. Come on, he’s like the most boring Superhero ever. It’s all the same with him – he beats all the bad guys, someone turns up with kryptonite and brings him down, the kryptonite somehow gets destroyed and he beats all the bad guys again. Boring much? And I think the comics never explored the idea of Superman’s origins enough (like not in terms of plot, but in terms of emotional beat).

  47. i have one question only, why did superman let the babies die?

  48. I’m not gonna say I hate it, but yeah, it sucked.
    From the moment the movie started, I keep thinking, “Oh, wow. They’re making this movie with art.”
    It was nice to look at and the sound effect on the fighting scenes were adorable, I can have the feeling that they are really fighting using heavy tools and stuff.
    What saddens me, though, is the plot.
    i don’t know if, maybe it’s because we’re already familiar with the story, it’s getting so cliche, we didn’t get to feel like this is going to be an awesome movie?
    And the flashbacks doesn’t help much.
    Overall, if I have to give this a score, it’ll be 2 out of 5. Yep.

  49. you make many valid points that i agree with! but i still thought its been the best superman movie made since christopher reeves.

    side note: superman knew how to make the black hole cuz lois lane told him cuz superman’s daddy told her. word.

    P.S. do you also hate the movie Armageddon?

  50. wow I completely disagree with you. I liked Man of Steel and I can’t believe you didn’t like Iron Man 3 either. Man of Steel could of had a little better story but it wasn’t a crappy one. They did this superman a little bit different which is why i liked it. I’m glad they didn’t do lex luther b/c that’s been done so many times already. Henry Cavill played a really good superman. The acting didn’t suck and the action sequences were pretty bad ass but they could of toned down some parts. Overall I liked it. It would of been better if Christopher Nolan would of directed it. It was a lot better than Superman Returns and yes the ones with Christopher Reeves are classics but they are completely corny as hell and b/c of the times the special effects suck.

  51. SIMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I generally like you reviews and respect you opinion, but how could you?!?!?!? I love Superman and I loved the movie!!!!!!!! To many people red WAY too into it. I sort of feel like I need to beat you up to defend my man!!!! Watch out my friend, you’ll never know when it’s coming!!!!

  52. Jack Stachowicz

    Sorry Simon. Love your reviews but you’re way off base here. Your Marvel bias is showing. Who loves and reads Superman? A lot of people. You need to expand your circle of friends to include DC fans as well. Superman is the grand daddy of all superheroes. You need to check into some of the classic Superman stories as well as some of the DC animated full-length movies. They are outstanding. The DC new 52 is also quite good.

    You also missed 3 key themes in the movie:

    1) The power of free will.

    2) How would a character with immense power who was raised to hide and fear those powers react in the real world.

    3) Would they choose to be good or evil.

    The whole film revolves around those themes. You’ve either chosen to ignore them or made them look absurd. No one wants another jokey and hokey Christopher Reeve/Richard Donner Superman who does everything with a wink, a smirk and a nod. For once, we got a real life flesh and blood Superman. I, for one, loved it.

    • Yes exactly. I, for one, collect any and all Superman, and SuperGirl stories, movies, and cartoons. I have my favorites and they’re usually the good or at least well written story arcs. I too loved this movie. I do still enjoy jokey one-liner Superhero movies. It’s why I loved the first Iron Man. I’ll call duds, duds though…cough…CatWoman (a guilty pleasure, but so, so lame) and SuperGirl (I have that one too, out of principle, also absolutely horrible). But Man of Steel is not a dud. It was well acted, well crafted, and the technology is “believable”. Geek out warning…I loved the fact that the Kryptonian technology was mechanics based on natural forms…ex. The little ships are based on bug design…ok. Ending engineering geek out. :D

  53. Another one of the absurdities was that if they can terraform Earth into Krypton and have done the same to numerous hostile planets centuries in the past when they liked the idea of space exploration, why don’t they just take their machine and use it elsewhere, for instance at Mars or at Venus? Sure, I have to grant that Superman has the codex and they cannot repopulate without the codex… But that may easily be overcome by asking nicely to Superman to let his scientist do his job of just searching through his DNA and stuff. The scientist did say that there is no need for Superman to be alive to get the codex off Superman’s DNA, but there is no logical contradiction in that Superman has to be dead or will die in the process of codex extraction. If the only kryptonians alive are superman and the prisoner crew, why don’t they just try to get a long happily through conversation?

    IMHO, I felt more persuaded by the general’s line of argument about him being programmed and being without the autonomy to control his decisions than superman’s whiny little argument about I don’t want humans to die so kryptonians must die. That’s serious extremes, and only the Sith lords deal in extremes.

  54. I dislike Sci-Fi and avoid it at all costs. But I enjoyed this movie as much as I could for a Sci-Fi movie. I just wish there was less Sci-Fi-ness and more dialogue and interaction with people on earth. I also wish there had been less technology used. Movies that use too much technology look like they are covering up for a bad plot or a lack thereof.

    General Zod and the Phantom Zone are part of the Superman story so you can complain about the Superman story sucking in that department not the Movie. Lex Luthor is my favourite villain so I was bummed that he didn’t appear.

    And I agree Jonathan Kent should not have died that way. Stoopid Superman! But Jonathan does die; they should just have chosen a better death for him.

    Jor-El was perfect.

  55. I like your thoughts Simon!! [even though I haven't seen the movie yet but it's okay!] I like how you really look into these things and give it a lot of thought. Great video :)
    Good job Simon!

  56. UR OPINION IS BAD AND U SHOULD FEEL BAD!!! THIS MOVIE WAS OSSUM ALSO THE SUPERPOWERED MANO A MANO MIDAIR BRAWL WAS FOOKIN BADASS!!!

    U ARE A DIGNBAT AND I BET U SMELL BIZARRE!!

    ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

  57. Agreed and Disagreed , you have made value points which I agreed! But come on we have to give some credit they sell the illusion and make me believe, it was a good movie when you compare Superman Return vs. Man of steel I still prefer this one I must said I was expecting this one to be a little bit more slow, like Batman recent movies. But I guess I was wrong… Maybe if they have develop it a little more slower then it would have make scene. Still love it no matter how bad “was” now that you bring up those points.

  58. I didn’t watch this movie, but your ranting about sucky movies makes my day. :)

  59. I like the title, Open the Whoopass! HA!

    Completely agree with you Simon, but as a girl I have to point out that the studio was probably hoping lots of scenes with Henry Cavill half naked and in spandex would make up for the lack of plot. Also, its TRADITION for Superman movies to suck. There hasn’t been a decent Superman movie since Christopher Reeves was Superman. I’m really disappointed in Chris Nolan. I thought he would do this series justice because The Dark Knight trilogy was soooooo GOOD! I’m going to give part two a chance when it comes out in two or so years only because this trilogy might follow the Batman pattern. Batman Begins definitely wasn’t as good as The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises. Man of Steel sucked so bad it can only get better from here. Plus more half naked Henry Cavill :) And I don’t know if you remember the Batman/Superman hour of cartoons on the WB 13 or so years ago. I recommend watching those.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superman:_The_Animated_Series

  60. irritablevowel

    Ha! This is the ad on the page right now!

  61. The real problems with the movie are.
    why was superman burning when he met the oil workers maybe he was covered in oil.

    How do you cauterize and internal wound without going around the flesh. He held her arms down.

    If you notice the scene where superman flies through zods ship superman kills a whole bunch of babies. Superman having X-ray vision could have avoided killing a whole bunch of babies.

    If you can teraform planets and can reproduce naturally could you not make a new home first before going out. Hell make any planet like earth you can obviously withstand any gravity it may have.

    All the soldiers and the scientists could have ganged up on superman and killed him.

    When superman kisses Lois in the middle of all the destruction would not all the death kill the mood.

    How could superman win against zod when on an even level. Superman has never been in a fight a day in his life he should suck at fighting. but maybe that fact he has super vision helped but so does zod i dont know. It was still supermans first real
    fight with someone even to him.

    I agree with the ice climbing but lois is supposed to be determined always risking her life which is why superman always has to save her stupid butt.

    How fast she got to superman was in question but it was only one time lapse movies have done much worse.

  62. irritablevowel

    Seinfeld! Seinfeld loves Superman! There was a whole Superman sketch that was kind of a commercial thing he did years ago.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgOC4n2Spsc

  63. The leaders did not believe the planet was going to blow up even the wife said her husband was right. The reason the family did not come with him was that the story was originally made for children they had to work around that story or his whole family and Krypton would be with him. Armies need scientists especially when they want to make babies from scratch. When his fathers dies he has to feel powerless with all that power and the father wanted him to live a normal life at all costs a little extreme could have just gone with the heart attack from the old movie but not as extreme as a level 5 tornado killing you. Superman still wanted to help people that is what he was fighting with his over before he died. Maybe he never wanted to feel that powerless again. The guys in the tanker would did not know who he was they just know this buff guy saved them. Lois should have fell and died. When Lois got shot by the robot she was not shot she was whipped still what is really wrong with that part is not what your saying. Superman said to Lois you are bleeding internally I have to laser you. If she is internally bleeding would he not have to shoot inside her thus burning her alive to stop the “internal” bleeding. Superman has super intelligence and recall check its he is so overly powered. Superman can memorized the encyclopedia in seconds and the space ship gave him all the knowledge of krypton. With that knowledge he could save all the worlds problems but he was told not to intervene. The ship got his measurements, it scanned him. someone answered the shaving question. Agreed to keep planet safe and Lois is a hostage. For lois being left alone in the ship do you think you would be worried about an ape driving the tank without the key they didnt know she had. Attacked planet for revenge but once they found out they were so super powered by the planet earths atmosphere could have made mars and any other planet more like earth with zero resistance then come and attacked superman hell all 7 or however many there were could have attacked him all at once and killed him. Lois told him the plan with the phantom drives and with his super intelegence which I find stupid figured it out. Lois was never going to figure out the technology no was she going to be able to fight especially in the span her and the scientist were given but she had to do something. General zod is a warrior she is ment to take orders not make up the whole plan on is own. All zod knew was fighting he was made for only that purpose if only the scientist was in charge. Superman would have wanted to fight with less people around but zod wanted to kill as many as possible still superman could have at least tried to take him to a place with less people or showed an attempt to do so. The speed which Lois go to superman I dont know maybe she is magic but you could find them no matter where they went. When each punch sounds like thunder and you destroy everything around you just fallow the noise and destructiong.
    To fallow this play it along with the video it answers each questions.

  64. changeseverydamntime
    changeseverydamntime

    I think this is a very flawed “review” lots of nitpicking and most of the points you raised are easily answerable. The film explains lots of them.

    1) The rulers of Krypton did not agree with Jor-el or General Zod that their destruction was imminent. They refused to believe that the actions and direction that they took had doomed the planet. That’s something that agrees totally with the premise established in the comic books. Jor-el is unable to convince his contemporaries in time and that is why he chooses to send his son to another planet. It is also why General Zod shouts at them during his sentencing. He took action because he believed in Jor-el’s words and he was willing to do whatever it took to save the planet. That included taking over Krypton.

    2) Scientist guy was obviously a part of the group who tried to overthrow the government. I don’t think you can save a dying planet or even evacuate a planet without one scientific mind there to help…

    3) It was what his dad wanted. He didn’t feel it was time for Clark to reveal his powers and this would have totally exposed him. He wasn’t known by an alias, using a fake social security. He was in his home town where he was known as Clark Kent. He was also still a minor and believed in his father so when he told him no he listened. That doesn’t mean he lost his propensity to save people it just means that in this one case he didn’t because his dad felt it was more important for him not to. You can tell Clark is haunted by his choice.

    4) Journalists do stupid shit. I thought it was much more ridiculous that she was only wearing one layer of clothes, a puffa jacket and a hat. She didn’t even bother to put her hood up!

    5) How did he appear in the ship in the first place? Because they are a more advanced society and Jor-el was a very well respected scientist? I think him making a suit appear that is the right size seems like much less of a feat when you realise he managed to send his son to another planet in a space ship and created a way for his conciousness to appear in the future even though he was long dead.

    6) How does he shave? This is the only one not answered in the film. In the comic he uses a piece of his ship and reflects his own heat vision back onto his face to burnt he stubble off.

    7) It was a bit random that he brought her onto the ship. But he probably noted their close connection and decided to mine her for information in case Superman was not willing to co-operate. Also, Superman should have stopped her from going? I don’t think she would have taken that very well. Sure he could have physically restrained her but she made the decision to go because she realised the situation would have gotten hostile if she had refused. Who is Superman to tell her what she can and can not do? Just as he trusted the judgement of his dad and believed in him by not rescuing him. He trusted the judgement of Lois and respected her right to make that decision.

    8/9) Because he is an unreasonable dick. He was a relic of the old Kryptonian breeding programme he was a born and bred warrior with Krypton as his number 1 priority. He must have felt extreme emptiness after the destruction of the planet and he was searching for a way to fix his inability to save the planet. He didn’t want to co-exist with humans and create a new way of living. He wanted to rebuild the old Krypton; that’s why Jor-el told him that they were both ghosts. They were both ghosts of a time that had gone by, relics of a failed era and a way of doing things which only led to destruction. Jor-el realised that they needed to start a new, Zod wanted to hold onto the past.

    10) He didn’t but his dad did. Jor-el told Lois who then relayed the information to Clark and then in turn the military. They explain that right there in the film in very very clear terms… Very clear.

    11) This one I will give you. She didn’t need to be and I found her generally a bit annoying; they were trying too hard to push that whole Superman/Lois Lane thing. But it was hard to as it was such a high paced film and she wasn’t very well developed as a character. Hopefully that’ll change in the sequel.

    12) Because of what Superman had done Zod couldn’t save Krypton and recreate what once was. That is why he felt that he had failed and saw the murder of Superman or his death as the only option.

    13) Because the final battle scene was set in Metropolis and just looked cooler there. That is the only reason; yes they could have made Superman lure Zod away so they could fight out in the open. But it was much more fun for them to fight in a city. It looked better and added more excitement.

    14) She saw where they landed and was worried about him? You really don’t know how far away it was from where she initially was standing. Nor does it matter… It’s not a very important point. This is nitpicking at it’s finest. Sort of like how when someone who you generally find to be very annoying and grating does something very innocent like ask you how you are it still drives you crazy.

    We also do not know how long it is before Superman moves to metropolis and starts at the Daily Planet. It could have been years after the incident with Zod. Enough time for him to gain some qualifications to become a journalist, for some of Metropolis to be rebuilt and for the fine details of that day to be jumbled in Perry’s mind.

    There were some minor plot point inconsistencies but it was generally a good film. Visually impressive and a good solid origins story for Superman.

  65. What has happened with you two?! No happiness only anger and jerkish attitudes? This is not the way to keep a fanbase.

  66. Omg how did I ever miss Simon nerding out and ranting about things like this? I want more! XD

  67. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Did you say General Zoidberg?! +100 for the Futurama reference….woo woo woo woo woo woo (claws snapping in the air)…

  68. superman red son is great. the return of superman is also good. i also
    liked superman birthright. If given the chance superman is pretty decent. I think superman and robin are pretty underrated. despite my batman bias, i think he is also overrated by the rest of the world. personally birds of prey are my favourite. i wish there were more female comic books hero films. also a daredevil reboot…and a doctor strange film. :)

  69. Simon you will love this. The calculation of the damage done in $$ and bodies. All through those battles that’s all I thought about and now someone has actually come up with figures. The best part though is the “article” written by Perry White chastizing the Mayor for awarding the sole contract for clean up to LexCorp and chiding the decisions made by the military ileaders for virtually annihilating the city of Smallville and causing 87% of the casulaties from friendly fire!

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/jordanzakarin/man-of-steel-destruction-death-analysis

  70. My generally feelings on this video are as follows: … *ahem*…

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… CAN’T ….. BEATHE *giggle* HEHEHE … LAUGHING… TOO HARD… HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA MUST… WATCH… HEHEHE SIMON’S RANT *pfft* … AGAIN… BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    That is all.

  71. While I won’t say this is the best superhero movie ever or anything similar, I really have to disagree with you on points that you’ve made.

    1 – The rulers of Krypton don’t believe there’s anything wrong with Krypton & fucked things up. THAT’S why General Zod is rebelling, trying to take over the government & eventually fails to do so. Now re-emphasizing that the rulers DO NOT think that there’s anything wrong with Krypton, they freeze the rebels (General Zod & crew) & send them to the Phantom Zone. They’re not supposed to wake up from that state, the only reason they do is because Krypton was destroyed. & they also mentioned that they reworked the ship to travel to other places, it’s purpose wasn’t to travel.

    2 – Clark DID try to go save the dog but Jonathan didn’t let him, he told him to protect his mother & get her to safety. As per a conversation in his childhood with Clark when he saved a busload of children, prompting a bit of chaos – that oh so special bit of dialogue came up. “What did you want me to do? Just let them die?” “Maybe.” Jonathan is SO convinced that Clark will be taken away & locked up, shaking everyone foundation in religion & being human because he’s the answer of ‘if we’re alone in the universe’ & all this… he’d rather Clark hide his gift from everyone & pretend to be normal. Cut to tornado scene. Clark is 17 when this happens, they’re in front of a lot of people. Clark doesn’t want to go against his father’s wishes. Even when he was about to fly in & save his father, he refused. Granted, yes, he did later betray that because Clark couldn’t help but save people…but he always disappeared. Always left the town & used fake names so no one could track him. In Smallville, everyone would’ve known who he is, where he is & reported it to someone, putting into events the things Jonathan didn’t want to happen. Plus what would happen to Martha when she was found housing an alien & knew it the whole time? Jonathan didn’t want that to happen to his family.

    3 – I feel like you were kinda digging when it came to Lois walking on the ice. Stupider shit happens in other movies, someone desperate to get an exclusive, awesome story would risk things. Watch American TV for pity’s sake. I watched camera men CRAWL ON THE GROUND to get closer to a shooter. So to say it’s far stretched is just pulling for straws.

    4 – Being a farm boy from Kansas doesn’t make you an automatic idiot. You would actually think that they would know things like that more, you know with wounds coming up on the farm…I mean shit, I learned that when I was a kid so to throw him under the bus for that was stupid BUT I agree that the internal bleeding wouldn’t be solved by cauterizing the wound.

    5 – The body suit – NOW, your better argument would be, how can Jor-el create things in the 18,000 year old spaceship in the ice when he died only 33 years ago & it’s his subconscious talking to him the whole time? Clearly the ship didn’t belong to the House of El so where did the suit come from? With what was being shown on the ship, you know, the babies in pods, I really don’t think bitching about how big a suit was makes a valid angry point. xD I would also note that we didn’t see all of Jor-el’s teachings in the ship so…maybe he could make shit appear, idk.

    6 – Someone below has posted how Superman shaves. It’s canon. lmao.

    7 – Lois & the ship – this is a loose plot point but it does make sense. Zod doesn’t know how Clark will react to being on their ship. It’s only when he starts coughing up blood do they realize he cannot handle Kryptonian atmosphere, despite being Kryptonian. That’s why Lois is given a helmet, not Supes. On that same note, if he was strong enough to resist digging for information in his brain, Lois makes a wonderful substitute. A nice bargaining chip too, should he try something. Also – Lois is trapped in a room in Kryptonian technology. Why in the ever living hell would they sit & watch her when they know she wouldn’t be able to break through it? The only reason she got out was because she had Jor-el’s subconscious take over the ship. But again – lame plot point because they needed to make her more important by learning how to send the ship back to the Phantom Zone permanently.

    8 – Zod plus being civil & remaking Krypton – Did we watch the same movie that you want Zod to be civil with Supes as his last words on Krypton were “I WILL FIND HIM!” ? He tried to overthrow his own government by killing & attacking everyone & you think he should go the civil route? He’s already established as ruthless! Crikey! In this story, on Krypton, your path is chosen for you. The fact that Supes has free-will goes against everything in the Kryptonian culture that Zod is trying to protect, perserve & remake. That’s why he wants Supes dead, he’s not really one of them & if Zod’s to remake a Krypton, Supes cannot be involved.

    9 – It was Jor-el who told them about smashing the ships relayed to Supes by Lois. Not. Superman. How did Jor-el know? Because he created the goddamn ship! He SAID SO. Convenient – yes. But don’t make an argument about that when it’s nawt true.

    10 – I WILL agree that Lois DID NOT need to be there on the mission but I found it even dumber that she fell out right before the ship crashed & is conveniently saved by Supes before she’s sucked into the Phantom Zone.
    Nitpicking with the aiming of the fight & Lois getting there but whatever!

    Despite some of the questioning plot points, I still HIGHLY enjoyed the movie & thought it was a very well done origin story for Superman. It is fine that you disagree but some of your arguments were invalid ;]

    Also, read Red Son as someone else suggested, it’s very good.

    • you my dear Erin, is now my bias simply becos u stood up against the mighty dorthaki man warrior Simon LOL. i loved man of steel more than iron man 3 to be honest. just like you said there are some plot holes and “conveniences” but its overall a nice movie in my opinion.

    • I think the point Simon was trying to get across with the dog scene was why did Clark agreed to lead his mother to safety whilst letting his father go into a dangerous situation. Considering Clark has a higher chance of survival shouldn’t he argue with his father that it would be better for him to save the dog instead? Both Clark and his father went into the situation knowing that the rescuer would be at risk. Yet Clark didn’t argue or show concern that his father or at least say: “Dad, let me do it. It’s too dangerous for you.” It was as though this no-fuss scene was ushering in his father’s demise and conveniently nailing in the lesson that Clark had to hide his identity.

      Most people aren’t bothered by the “conveniences” and to some it sounds like nitpicking. Truth be told, it’s entirely up to the viewer. Some people aren’t bothered by the “conveniences”. Really. They barely notice it and just enjoy the movie. And to some it just sticks out like a sore thumb.

      Really liked your video, Simon. Some of the things you mentioned I had also laughed at when I watched it. It’s good to know I wasn’t the only stranger laughing.

      E.g.: Lois watching Superman fighting Zod from a crater some ways away, then they crash landed at a station and start fighting and a few minutes later, Lois appears on the scene: I laughed. I had to. It just didn’t make sense! How did she get there so quickly? So kudos, Simon on point #14.

      Another one for Simon: Perry was watching the gravitational field advance. This scene (I’ve no idea if it’s the way they’ve arranged it) happens after we get people running on the streets, buildings being destroyed, left right and centre, cars thrown up the air, the government watching the field slowly expand over their monitors, even had the time to theorise the purpose of the field. If we were to follow the scenes linearly, the destruction has commenced, the gravitational field is slowly levelling everything within its radius, citizens are panicking and trying to escape. Then we cut to the scene where Perry is watching everything calmly and he says “Okay, time to evacuate.” You can’t help but think: “NOW you evacuate? You could have done it 10 minutes ago when everyone ELSE was panicking. Instead, you wait in your building watching until the field has gotten close enough and THEN you evacuate.” Did anyone else think that or was it just me? (Btw, I laughed at this scene too)

    • I agree with Tee all thought Erin you have some good points but some people see this movie as different. The points Simon brought up are very valied points however you yourself acnknowledged some of the points along with putting in your own points. I have to admit the whole dumb farmboy thing isn’t something that should have been brought up because who is to say he didn’t go to university or learn something in high school but at the same time. But if you took Superman’s background out of it saying that line i personally think makes him sound dumb in general. Lets say he learn that in school wouldn’t you have learned other stuff also and with that other stuff you would have figured out something that might be more practical. The big thing is you dont learn about that type of medicide until you in medical school. But being a superhero anything is possible. However judging from all other superman shows i don’t think he went to medical school. So he either would have the abiluty to be super smart or advanced medical knowledge or I personly think the line was just put in to make superman seem cool.

    • 1B) When addressing the council, Jor-El also says that the planet will be destroyed in 6 weeks (a departure from canon). In the movie, Jor-El and Lara rush to launch Kal-El not because of the imminent destruction of the planet, but because of Zod’s attack. And because Jor-El has just committed a treason by entering the genesis chamber and stealing the Codex. Also, I doubt even the Kryptonians would be able to clean up their city, change their clothes, get Lara’s mass of curly hair under control, convene the council, and put Zod and his compatriots on trial in under 2 hours.

      2B) Who is more important: Martha or the dog? Clark stayed back and could protect Martha (and the other people) if something happened. So although going after the dog was more dangerous and better suited to Clark, it was more important that Clark stay where he was.

      3B) Yup.

      4B) Yup.

      5B) It’s possible that the designs for the suit were in the command key along with everything else. And I’m pretty sure that if the ship was advanced enough to make the suit, it could tailor it to Clark.

      5C) No word about Cavill’s chest hair poking up over the collar?

      6B). Yup.

      7B) Yup.

      8B) Yup.

      9B) Yup.

      10B) Because what Superman movie is complete without him catching Lois after she falls?

      Seriously, Simon.I know you’re more of a Marvel fan, but this was just a bad review. Check your facts before going on a rant. Very disappointing.

      • To answer the question, “who is more important, Martha or the dog,” of course the answer is Martha. So why try and save the %$#! dog in the first place? Especially since he quickly gives up and tries limping away? What was the point of that?!

    • I don’t think Simon was nitpicking in his last point honestly. Although I don’t agree with the majority of the points he made, (sorry Simon!) he did have a point about Lois randomly showing up at the end of the last fight. Zod and Superman ‘flew’ for so long and at such a lightning fast speed before finally crashing into that museum (it was a museum right? Can’t remember honestly :P) and I too found it ridiculous when Lois showed up there hardly a minute later. Ain’t no taxi that fast! :/

      Yes, stupider stuff happens in other films too, but honestly, in such a high-budget film made by one of the best film crews in Hollywood, such ‘conveniences’ are not acceptable.

      Other than that I agree with all your points and that this was a very good origins story. IMO everyone, especially comic/graphic novel fans should go watch it!

    • 1. If they have a ship that can send prisoners into space, why don’t they have one to evacuate anybody when the planet blows up?
      2. Why tell Clark he’s here for a reason if he’s not allowed to save anybody? Even a non-superpowered person could have run over there and tried to help his dad. He wasn’t that far away. Why try and save a stupid dog in the first place? That scene is so bad it’s actually pretty funny.
      3. Fine. Lois climbs on ice. But how does she always magically happen to show up whenever Superman lands in some random place? Is she psychic?
      9. Wouldn’t creating a black hole next to the Earth also destroy Earth? And why does a slow human airplane piloted by Detective Stabler have to fly Superman’s baby shuttle all the way there? Why can’t Superman just carry it at super speed? How does the nerdy military scientist have any idea what the Kryptonians are doing?

      Gah. This movie was so dumb. I could go on, but I don’t want to.

  72. ” If anyone can recommend a Superman comic line worth reading, please share” Red Son Superman. Easily the best Superman arc ever (I usually hate super man). Alternate universe where big S lands in Soviet Russia instead of the US. In it Lex Luthor is the American Hero trying to defeat him.

  73. “The Lone Ranger” next month should make fro another interesting review.

  74. OMGGG thank you, Simon. I can’t tell you how many of my USA friends LOOOOVED it. And I was there with my popcorn and drink like, meh. Although I went with some Korean friends (I live in Korea), and they didn’t like it either.

  75. I kept thinking about DragonBall Z. A majority of the big fights in DBZ happened in the middle of no where or on someone else’s planet with vast open space, so there was no mindless destruction of the city. Goku is a better Superman than Superman in Man of Steel.

  76. note to self: don’t send Simon anything with the superman logo on it

  77. Okay, I will admit, Superman actually is one of my all time favorite super heroes, however, I did not like this movie for all the points you mentioned PLUS … SPOILER… Superman doesn’t break necks and kill people. That kinda ruined the movie for me and the tornado scene was so stupid. If they didn’t lock the dog in the car in the first place, they’d all be under the bridge and safe.

  78. Stephanie Dubuque

    I agree so much with you Simon one of the biggest things that bothered me is how all the destruction fell into two places, the farm and in the city. It was mostly like how much mindless destruction can we create? Apparently not enough so they went up into space destroyed a satellite and came back down to Metropolis destroyed it some more as the satellite falls down and helps destroy even more of the city. I also wasn’t too pleased with the lack of back story to Superman other then oh he grew up on Earth and that’s how he became so strong.

  79. i agree. it sucked

  80. LongClawTiger

    Glad to know I can scratch one movie off my list of films to see. I have never really been much of a Superman fan anyways. My best memory of him was when the night crew I was part of had a DC vs Marvel Heroclix game and I whooped Superman’s butt using Wasp.

  81. unicornsgalaxy

    Haven’t see Man of Steel and never had any intention of seeing it, but this video amused me so much! It was so funny! I’m gonna go watch your rant review of Iron Man 3 (since I had no intention of seeing that movie, I didn’t watch it when you put it out).

  82. I was actually considering watching this movie since i watch the NBA finals and all the commercials are either cars or movie related. But now hmmm….i think i’ll stick to asian dramas lmao

  83. I’m just going to let this redditor explain my reasons for loving Superman (even if I hate a lot of his media).
    http://www.reddit.com/r/comicbooks/comments/1cft1z/who_is_your_favorite_superhero_and_why/c9g52ei

  84. ME AND MY SISTER WERE CRACKING UP ABOUT LOIS. Like, did she plant a GPS tracker when she stroked his face or something? How did she get across the town so quickly in 5 inch stilettos? How did her hair look completely perfect no matter what she went through?
    Also, was it just me, or was the sequencing on the movie really odd?

  85. lol I luv this review!!!!!

  86. Well looks like yet again another crappy Super Man movie. I want to like Super Man I do, but I cant’ sorry Super Man lovers. Just so you know Simon in the Sates we did learn all of those things you mentioned. hahahah Nah! I’m kidding. I was planning on seeing this but it looks like I’ll just wait for it to come out on red box so I only have to pay a dollar instead of $6. Actually I’m not sure if I’ll even do that.

  87. I definitely liked the original late 70s version of this movie waaaaaayyyy better. Terence Stamp was so much fun as General Zod whereas Michael Shannon here is just a big whiny baby without an ounce of common sense in his brain. The original Zod’s motivations were much simpler. “Hey, here’s this weakling planet. I’ve got super powers. I can totally rule! KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!” and then the humans are like “We’ve got Superman” and Zod’s like “Whatevs. I got this.” And while they’re fighting throughout New York City, Superman actually takes the time to, you know, SAVE SOME DAMN PEOPLE AND NOT JUST SAY HE CARES FOR HUMANS BUT ACTUALLY SHOWS IT. They didn’t decimate the city because Superman’s main goal was just to save everybody. In this version, Superman’s like “hey, I’m sure the city will pay to rebuild that building… and that one… and that one… and I’m sure there were no people in those buildings either. I didn’t just totally kill a bunch of people in my desperate need to vent my anger from the past 30 years spent on Earth not being able to kick anybody’s ass…” OMG IT MADE ME SO GRUMPY! I am totally with you, Simon. I’m a big fan of Superman but this movie was super dumb and I wish I hadn’t wasted my money.

    • I agree on Zod. But I thought this version of Zod was more interesting in that he wasn’t just all “Ohh new dictatorship for me.” I liked the fact they tried to make him a little more sympathetic-ish instead of just purely greedy evil. I thought it was more realistic as a…person. I do like the iconic “KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!” Too bad they couldn’t have worked that in somewhere. How Superman solves the Zod problem in the new movie was really my main quibble with it, the 70s version was more gimmicky but still consistent with the comic world. The new ending was the one big logic fail for me. Yes it’s a bit more “edgy” but I could only respond with “wait…what?!” I still loved the movie, and I’ll be buying it as soon as it’s out on DVD.

      • This is also my biggest gripe with the film. The ending is just plain SHIT compaired to the classic “Anti-climatic finale” of Superman 2. Superman OUTSMARTS Zod in the original finale, exposing Zod’s weakness for Vanity. The moment he kneels and then crushes Zod’s hand is a classic scene.

        AND Zod was actually MORE intellegent in that film… heck he figured out he had Superpowers AS SOON AS HE LANDED. In this film, the Intelligence of Zod was actually DOWNSIZED. Here he takes ALMOST THE ENTIRE MOVIE to figure out HE HAS THE EXACT SAME POWERS AS SUPERMAN and if he only took off that suit for a minute and walked outside on the earth he would FUCKEN REALISE IT… What a DUMBFUCK. And Superman was also less intelligent…. Zod was far LESS powerful in his suit than if he had of trained his superpowers. Superman could have taken care of him alot earlier in the film.

        Zod took SOOOO long to figure out Kal-El COULD BREATH THE EARTH AIR DESPITE BEING KRYPTONIAN. AND HE COULD FLY and do shit that ZOD couldn’t when in his suit. I hated the fact they also did not show Superman’s Superbreath, and also his generally lightening fast speed(why the fuck did he have to snap ZOD’s Neck? He could have used his superspeed, let Zod go, and then moved in front of him, pushed him down, and protected the people from the heat! ZOD didn’t seem to fully know Superman could move faster “than a speeding bullet” and Superman could have taken advantage of it).

  88. A version where Superman was actually awesome: The last 3 Seasons of Smallville. Skip the first ones – it’s an annoying coming of age story. But once that is done and Clark is actually in Metropolis, the 8th, 9th and 10th season are absolutely great. (Including a little Justice League founding and lot’s of nods to classical story lines from the 50′s and 60′s)

    So far the only Superman interpretation that made the character actually likeable. Even characters like the Martian Manhunter and Darkseid were well done.

  89. I saw Man of Steel last night, and while I found it entertaining, I found that some parts were just disjointed and some plotlines forced.

    1) My friend and I agree that this was much darker and grittier of a movie than we expected. Maybe it’s because Christopher Nolan is a producer on it and they’re trying to reboot the franchise a la Dark Knight, but somehow, it didn’t seem right. Maybe I’m nostalgic for the older movies.

    2) I totally agree that Lois Lane’s part in this movie was forced, she didn’t really need to be there.

    3) However, I disagree with you on Commander Whatshisname’s part, specifically with his goal of creating Krypton on Earth. In the film they said that Kryptonian children’s roles were predetermined at birth, with soldiers/commanders/etc. being one of the roles. Maybe it doesn’t bother me as much, but it sort of makes sense to me that he would be so focused on that goal, shoving aside any other logical ideas to achieve that. It’s kind of like how Spock is so logical, and rarely lets in emotions.

    There are a few things that don’t make sense to me though, like WHY DID COMMANDER SOANDSO TAKE OFF HIS KRYPTONIAN ARMOR? OR HOW COME SUPERMAN AND HIM CAN FIGHT ON EARTH AND IN SPACE EVEN THOUGH BOTH OF THEM HAVE PROBLEMS IN BOTH AREAS?

    *ahem*

    Sorry for the long post, I do enjoy your reviews/rants though Simon!

  90. wow simon….u sure ripped it apart

    not that I was interested in watching it anyway….

    but since Christopher Nolan produced this movies and most of his movies are great (the Dark Knight trilogy) I was expecting something more…..

    maybe he should have written and directed it himself :P

  91. Hi Simon, I completely agree with you. This movie made me so sad, I’m kind of shocked they made a Superman movie this depressing and cynical.

    For some good Superman comics to check out I suggest Grant Morrison’s All Star Superman and Loeb & Sale’s Superman of All Seasons, I suggested these books when my film series showed the Donner film a couple of years ago: http://graphiccontent.org/2011/10/11/superman-book-list/

    Oh, you might also like Mark Millar’s Superman: Red Son, which is an elseworlds story that asks the questions “What is Superman landed in the Soviet Union”

    Those are without a doubt three of the best Superman books ever written.

    Cheers,

    Erin Fraser

  92. The movie was I would have to say 70 to 80% to the comics. If you haven’t read them then tough cookies. They also explain how it all works out, if you only paid attention to the detail.

  93. Sorry Simon I disagree with you.

    Man Of Steel is “Can you imagine how people would react if beings like that actually existed?” I mean Perry White even questions Lois about her article of a man with super-powers. The movie is really about morals living with Gods and their awe-inspiring powers. Not the mention the question are we alone in the universe is finally answered with Zod and Superman.

    We can nit-pick the movie with all the holes but don’t forget the much beloved Batman movie series had it issues. I am still annoyed with Bruce Wayne in Dark Knight Rises. He mopped around for 8 years over a dead girl who wasn’t evening his girlfriend at the time. Also Bruce tells everyone he is Batman. The point of a secret identity is not to tell anyone the secret. Guess he missed that in Superheroes 101.

    Thank you Man of Steel. Lois Lane you are finally not a moron. She actually is a reporter who starts looking into who this super-man might be. She isn’t the Lois Lane of the past who is fooled by a pair of glasses and lame excuses. Not to mention the ending of the movie is not something the Man of Steel has only done a few times. Remember Superman does have a code of conduct unlike some other heroes.

  94. You forget that she’s running around looking for Superman in the desert while wearing STILLETOS. What the actual fuck?!

    • Hollywood and it’s unrealistic expectations of women

      HOW THE FUCK DO WOMEN RUN IN HEELS IN SAND

      • i can’t stand in heels, let alone run. She must have superpowers!

      • It takes mad skillz, but it’s possible.

      • It is actually not that hard to stand on sand with high heels….. or is it just me xD

      • There’s an article on the Tropes website called “The Most Common Superpower” it describes this pretty well. ;)

        But Yes I’m a huge Superman fan…and I loved the movie. Although one of the few quibbles I had was with the heels…um…really?! Lois always seemed a more pragmatic and persistent character. So I could totally believe she’d climb the ice shelf, but It bugged me that she’d be so prissy as wear heels in the sand. The only other real quibble I had was with the end… How Zod died. I thought he was like Clark…ie. mostly indestructible. I’m surprised Simon didn’t complain about that.
        So I agree with Erin above generally.
        Sorry Simon, although I totally agreed with your Iron Man 3 review…I have to disagree with you on Man of Steel. I thought it was well done and for a reboot of such an iconic character, I liked the story and the design.

  95. Well, I haven’t seen this movie but I laughed a lot. Once I see it on dvd, I’m sure I’ll laugh even more! :D

  96. MarVi

    Super Junior- Super Man.
    If you wanna see 13 good super men.

  97. PunkyPrincess92

    ahahahahhaha i love this!!! i watched this the other day and me and my friend were questioning the movie throughout the whole thing!! luckily we were at the very front of the theatre (cos man it was PACKED) and no one else was around to hear us whisper!!

    i hate that dog and tornado scene!!! stupidest scene ever!!! as soon as i saw the lady close the car door and the dog was shown inside i just KNEW the dog would be the death of the dad at that moment!!

    ahahaha i remember thinking that about pint 13 too!!

    me and my firend found it hilarious how she just ended up being everywhere….like EVERY-FREAKIN’-WHERE!!

    one thing my friend questioned was how did the evil lady have make up on!!
    we don’t really know much about Superman so yeah…..so i especially know nothing about where Superman comes from and what that planet is like!!
    like his suit….i thought he made that Superman logo for himself and not passed to him from his dad!!! the ‘s’ logo was very convenient!! and if they speak English why does ‘S’ mean ‘hope’ in their language then? and how the hell do they know all those other languages!! and in one of the scenes it showed a family that looked like they were in the middle of nowhere living in what looked like a tent….watching that message by the evil guy…on a tv….
    also do they have farms in Krypton? cos the evil guy asked Superman if he learnt on a farm or something along those lines!! i didn’t think aliens would know about farms and how you won’t really get anything there…

    anyway i think i had other things that left me confused but i can’t remember them right now!!
    also i felt it was kinda….choppy? not sure how to explain it!!

  98. I definitely agree with you on everything Simon. Lol. Loved this review!

  99. wow Simon you’re so pissed off :D i haven’t seen this movie yet and i don’t know if i want to::P you should review Game of thrones :) !

  100. They made a whole marketing scheme over how superman shaved, but its kinda stupid if you ask me. They probably filmed it then realized “oh shit, that doesn’t make sense that his beard magically disappeared” So they tried to make THIS stupid marketing campaign: http://www.howdoesheshave.com HOW DUMB IS THAT

  101. When I went to see it I was completely underwhelmed.
    At the end the whole cinema gave it a standing ovation and started clapping and whooping. (psst.. they can’t hear you guysss)
    I was just sitting there in disbelief.
    what the-? how did it deserve-? I give up.
    I’m not the weird one. It’s definitely everyone else that’s weird.

    • Nope, you’re not the only one. No one applauded when I went. Afterwards, I sat there for a moment wondering what the hell I just watched. It couldn’t make up it’s mind whether it wanted to be an origin story or not. The flashbacks were annoying. The actor who played Clark was kinda cute…Russell Crowe was in it (which were some of the few pros). Too much action and not even in a GOOD WAY! How many times and different ways can you smack the living daylights out of each other? That got boring real fast. You start off at level 5 with imminent destruction of Krypton, then the majority of the movie was cranked up to 11 and stayed there for the next 1hr and 20mins. I love good action, but there can be too much of a good thing, I give you exhibit a.

      The beginning was good. Everything after that wasn’t. The rushed LoisxClark relationship at the end, really? Was that necessary? What the hell? After the world knows who he is, “NOW I’m gonna don some glasses and work at the Daily Planet, no one will ever find me here. Hurrdurr…” Way to back track and do everything backwards.

      All in all, I thought the Nolan Batman movies were great, Avengers was fantastic, Iron Man 1 &3 were great (Simon you DEF were too harsh on Iron Man 3, it wasn’t perfect but next to Superman it’s a stellar movie!), even the Spider-Man relaunch was great. (At first I thought it was too soon for a Spider-Man relaunch, but after seeing it they proved me wrong.)

  102. bigbangfosho

    Hmmm..i’m not into super hero movies, so maybe I’d like it more?

  103. I liked Iron Man 3, where you didn’t so much, but I thought Man of Steel was horrible.

  104. Iron Man3 was bad though for sure.

  105. Simon! This is how Superman shaves!!! (He uses his laser vision ;D ) http://i.stack.imgur.com/JniCh.png

  106. I didn’t watch the movie, but I am CRYING! This video shall forever be in my bookmarks.

  107. Superman was amazing and I disagree with your review. But everyone has their own opinions :-)

    • Do you disagree with my points, though? Everything in the plot made perfect sense?

      • There were some scenes that didn’t make sense, like the Dad scene was way too much. But the film overall felt great. It showed him torn between his morals and fitting in with human society. I actually liked all the action and they have to tie in all the characters together.
        But your review made my laugh for sure. And Zod was beyond crazy in his delusion thinking he was saving his race, he couldn’t think straight.

  108. At least he figured out how to wear his underpants?

  109. apart from me now being deaf, I’d like to watch the movie now, I agreed with you on Iron man 3 100%, therefore I’m tempted to foolishly believe your opinion but i still feel like watching sucker man =)

  110. Yep I agree Simon. When people talk about this movie all they can say is that the visuals were great. Everything else was meh :/

  111. My mind had been blow… still digesting all of that… *darlik voice* please wait….loading….please wait….still loading. Nope still unable to process any of the information…i guess my physics exam really took it;s tole on me today…

  112. Superman is my favorite superhero of all time ever xD I’m DC biased and I have to agree that it wasn’t my FAVORITE, but it wasn’t the worst. The DC business department needs to stop phasing out the fantasy element of DC because it’s something that Marvel doesn’t have and it would make the movies much more enjoyable.

  113. LOL I haven’t even seen the movie, nor do I plan to, but I knew you’d rip into it Simon! >.<

    PS Batman is way cooler than Superman!

  114. hi5! thought i was the only one who didnt enjoy is as much as its raved about heh

  115. I agree with you – this certainly didn’t live up to my expectations, and I’m a HUGE DC fan, but he’s not my favourite. I thought this Superman (the character) was pretty lame in the sense that he is fighting kinda for the sake of fighting? I thought the antagonist had so much more depth and halfway through the film I don’t even know how but I started feeling more for him instead of Superman, haha.

    And don’t get me started on the really forced inclusion of Lois Lane. She didn’t have any real character development at all. I think the screenwriters were like, “If there’s a Superman there needs to have a Lois Lane so we are just gonna put here in there and keep making him catch her as she’s falling from great heights”. I mean, look at Pepper in IronMan – now that’s a real sidekick protagonist.

    I won’t say it supersucked though – because Russell Crowe was swaggerific in there. And of course Henry Cavill made everything better. Hehe.

  116. Going to disagree, thought it was amazing!

  117. But but but… Russell Crowe is in it!

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