Let’s start off by saying welcome, male viewers! We’re Eatyourkimchi! Come, hang out for a while, and say hello to a predominantly female audience! They’re nice and friendly and you’re very welcome here.

To our regular audience: psssst…did that work? Did we trick em?

Ok, for real, we know that our audience is predominantly female. But our male numbers have been growing! We were once at, like, 7% men, but now we’re at around 20%. Booya! Videos like this sucker more of them in. Remember a while ago we did a video about what it’s like having Big Boobs in Korea? Well, the title was “Big Boobs in Korea” and our male viewers EXPLODED. Oddly, the highest percentage: Korean men aged 40-50. I wonder who’s gonna be watching this video…

Back to the actual video itself, I was starting to think about the ridiculousness of these massagers. We’ve done a few of them, including the Penis Massager fairly recently, and when I saw this one I thought “who actually buys and uses this stuff? Is it a gag gift?” Well, we were speaking with a friend of ours, and she said that one of her co-workers recently, at a meeting, pulled out the Penis Massager and started rubbing that on her body, to which our friend could barely contain her laughter. So, people DO use these things. I’m just not sure if someone’s gonna bust out the Bust massager (see that play on words? OH SO CLEVERRRR).

But, for really real, what’s the logic behind something like this? For the couple of screenshots we put up there, if anyone can read Japanese, please let us know what they were trying to advertise as the benefits of using this product. Does rubbing your boobs make them…firmer? Bigger? Smoother? I really don’t know the benefits of using this thing. Someone, please explain, and then we can talk about it more in the comments.

I’d like to see some massagers marketed to men. Every one that we’ve talked about so far seems to be for women’s beauty, but what about men’s beauty? You hear about S-lines and B-lines and V-lines and whatnot, but are there any lines that men are supposed to have, and – if so – what cheap plastic massagers can I use to get those lines?

Sidenote: yes, we know that this isn’t a Korean product. It’s a Japanese one, that was made in China, but we got it as a part of a fanmail package, and we just knew we had to do a WTF on it. HOW COULD WE RESIST? If you’ve got any ridiculous items you think would make a great WTF video and you’d like us to try to figure out how to use them on camera, we’d be more than happy to play around with them. Ha!

On that note, make sure you click on this fancy button down here to subscribe for more WTF videos, especially you, new male viewers!

  1. Hey this was my fanmail package!! So glad you guys liked it :D

  2. wat is her lip stick is so nice

  3. I haven’t laughed this hard while watching an WANK in ages.

  4. Just to help you “mountian” plus “mouth”山口 isn’t exit exit= deguchi 出口~ Helping everyone learn Japanese :3 xD

  5. Simon and Martina’s new audience …

  6. lol I’d like to point out that my boyfriend now likes to do the “waka waka” hand movements. what have you done!!! XP

  7. GUISE I am officially jealous of Martina’s lipstick game. It’s flawless y’all.
    Also… boobs.

  8. I love the Random Mustache on the wall. I am picturing googly eyes… Yes.. I know what I am mailing you. Googly eyes.

  9. Yep, my friend was right! The Koreans (and Japanese?) are a masochistic people. ;) No pain, no gain, Martina, get those boobs perky! j/k.

  10. Ouch! That looks like it hurts so much just watching!

  11. If you have to do a lot of lifting or bending down in your day to day (cleaning, working, etc.), especially if it’s something that you’re not used to, your pectorals and chest muscles can get quite sore and a nice massage does a world of good. I can’t see using one of these things though. That’s what husbands are for ;)……or one of those vibratey massage balls is also great.

  12. Simon! For shame! Don’t be pimping out Martina just to get more male viewers! >.<
    LOL! Though I suppose that Simon shouldn't get all the sexy shots ;)

  13. So, I loved this video and Simon’s worship of his wife’s boobs. I remembered that he said it was one of the first things he noticed about her… Teh b00bz. I love that he’s still somewhat of a perv about them. Never get tired of her boobs Simon. They were a gift from God.

  14. Guys guys guys this is CLEARLY to clean off the busts of old guys you’ve got lying around, it’s a combination lint roller and swifter! XD

  15. love how simon cant stop looking at martina’s boobs

  16. So funny… Simon and Martina, you’re great xD

    Not so long ago there were woody things quite similar to this boob’s massager, but they were for the feet. They were everywhere, and everyone had one. It was like the perfect gift.

    Here in Madrid I discovered something also quite bizarre… Maybe you have seen this before, or maybe is something quite usual were you live… but it really make my day ;)

    • It’s not the nastiest thing that comes to mind but that really does look like a very innovative bra hanger to me. Keeps your bras nice/unwrinkly in your drawer or on the hanger? I could see lingerie shops using them too.

    • you dont wear that lol its just to save the shape of the bra which maybe a good idea considering bra’s can be damn expensive

      • xD yeah, it’s just that i hadn’t see it before, and we found it quite funny… in fact, my friend and i walked a little around the shop with it. The chinese shop owner was looking at us just like… wtf… and we didn’t blame her ^-^


  18. Martina, you seem more taller in this video. Are you wearing heel or a stool, I find it very funny Lol

  19. I’ve never laughed so much at something you wrote in your vlog! Especially the opening paragraph. Too funny!!!

  20. I haven’ts stopped replaying this since it got uploaded!! this is wayyyyyyy too funny!!! made my day~ ♥

  21. I have pretty big boobs and they get sore after a long day just like your back or your feet. Or maybe its just the muscles that hold them up that get sore. I’m probably not wearing the right size bra. Anyway, a massage would be great for when they’re sore, but I don’t think I want that one anywhere near them haha.

  22. Would… Would a boob massager be for like… how you get a back massager, sore boobies? Maybe it’s not about look or firmness at all…

  23. idk…but there is no way you can make your boobies look bigger with that plastic thing or any beauty item,the only option is plastic surgery

  24. Did my eyesight get worse or is this video a bit out of focus? Anyways, Martina looks great with that red lipstick and matching hat. And Simon, U so nasty! “Can I put my mouth on your mountain?” oh boy XD

  25. Actually, guys do have the inguinal crease (a.k.a.: inguinal line) in the hip/groin/lower abdominal area. Don’t know if there are any massagers for that area, though.

  26. That lipstick looks beautiful on you, Martina :D

  27. I love that these WTF video’s are back! Showing us all the weird wonderfullness offered by Asia :) I also like that I was able to pause the video and finally see a decent side angle of Martina’s tattoo coloured in (yes I’m a tattoo nerd….! :P)

  28. I was laughing so hard from this video I was in pain! This contraption had me sore though. However developed that thing couldn’t have been a female because that thing look painful! lol

  29. Oh geezy greezy, you kept singing Single Ladies and all I could picture was this http://youtu.be/Jxb1xix_HCQ

    Btw that boob roller looks so uncomfortable, but Simon seems to be enjoying watching Martina use it.

  30. I was howling in laughter and disbeleif… I completely expected Simon to demonstrate any and all boob products, Oh wow. My sides, they keel……

  31. Hmm this would only seem painful to me haha…??? Maybe it’s to move around the fat in the breasts so it’s more even??? Either way it’s odd

  32. Sees title: What the…?
    Sees roller: Oh I’ve seen that at Daiso…
    After video: uh… did this just raise the male views?

    I don’t even know how massaging your boobs is helpful.. Unless people think it can make them bigger…hm.m…

  33. I like how Mr Brohoho’s mustache is stuck to his wall :D


  35. that phrase pops right in my mind, cant help it

  36. I posted this before, but since this is about boobs, I’ll post it again.

    I’m just going to post this once, but “A cups” can be anything from tiny to REALLY BIG. I am a 28E, which is equivalent in size to about 38A, BUT I look very “small”. I’m wearing the right size bra after many years of being told I’m a 34A. So I’m just going to share this for all the women.

    If your bra does not touch your chest between your breasts, it is not the right size. If the band does not stay horizontal to the ground, it’s the wrong size. If the cup / underwire cuts off before the middle of the side of your body, it’s the wrong size ( right under the armpit ). If you cannot push your straps off your shoulders and have your bra stay where it’s at, it is not the right size ( exceptions for very, VERY large breasts ).
    Your straps should not be giving you the most support, 95% of the support should come from the band. Hence, when you
    measure, it needs to be very snug and do NOT add anything to it. My chest measurement underneath my breasts is 28~29 inches, and even though it felt tight at first, you will be more than happy that you don’t have to adjust your bra all the time. Measuring around the largest part of your breasts should be done sitting up and leaning over at a 90 degree angle, to use the average for the most accurate measurement. Sitting up to measure needs to be horizontal to the ground, same with measuring around your ribcage,and has to be done with absolutely nothing on, no shirts, bras, etc or you will get the wrong size. The difference between these 2 measurements is your size, like this: 1 inch = A cup, 2 inches = B cup, 3 inches = C
    cup, etc.

    American sizing is wrong wrong WRONG and you should not even bother. Buy bras made in the UK / Europe, their sizing is much more standardized. They also don’t do triple-letter sizes, which can be confusing in the first place. Some might cost a little more, but it is absolutely worth it to get a correctly-sized bra. I’m unlucky enough to still have a difficult size to find ( 28E/30DD ). And please remember, this is a starting point for a correctly-sized bra. You might differ by a cupsize or band size depending on the style.

    So when you say A cups unite, just remember you’re calling me and everyone else out too, because every single size of bra is equivalent to an A cup in some manner. I would be a 38A if the band size came anywhere close to fitting. It’s also equivalent to a 36B, 34C, 32D, and 30DD. [ Bra cups are made like this btw, the ones I said are all exactly the same size in the cup area, it’s the band length that’s different. A 36A bra is smaller in volume and size, but is exactly the same cup as a 34B, 32C, etc. Wikipedia chart – http://tinyurl.com/4otkp86 ]

    So TL;DR – I have a DD/E cup, and I want bigger boobs. ( But I would never use THAT on my chest. Ouch. )

    • Thank you for the information. Based on what you said, I know I have a right sized bra.
      In the end, it all comes down to being comfortable to wear.
      Also, I will stick to my european sizing for the rest of my life *lol*. No, seriously, for someone who lives in Europe other sizing charts for clothes and stuff confuse me.

      • Yeah. American sizing for clothing is so… I don’t even know. There’s discrepancies even in the same clothing lines, and vanity sizing is completely out of hand. Someone went around and found out that in men’s trousers, the same size varied by as much as 7 entire inches in the waistband. That’s just absurd! In women’s sizes, they vary between “junior’s” and “women’s”, junior sizes being 0, 1, 3, etc, and women’s being 0, 2, 4, etc, and then we have the waist sizing as well with 24, 25, 26, etc. And those are even varied in how they fit in the same styles. -shakes head-
        Bras aren’t really different in terms of sizing ( except fit between styles ), but the cup letters are just all over the place in the States, and there are very few sizes available. It’s like, 32 A-C, 34 A-D, 36 B-D, and 38 C-D. There’s so many other sizes, but they just aren’t available! I had to order bras from the UK to get my size.

        I don’t really equate comfort with fit, since a properly-fitting bra is likely to be very uncomfortable if you’re used to the wrong size. I thought I’d never be able to breathe when I put on a 28E, but I can’t imagine wearing more than a 30 ( DD, same volume ) now. The band is just far too loose. -That- is much more uncomfortable than wearing the right size, now. My sister claimed that the bra didn’t fit when I gave her what her correct size was, she just kept insisting on wearing a band that was far too large because it was “more comfortable”. She actually does have large breasts, so I’m sure she has back pain ( or will in a few years ), because she has no support.

        But really, if I had the money and it turned out I couldn’t have children ( a possibility ), I would totally get breast implants. I wouldn’t mess around with this roller thing, that just looks painful! Though there are some studies that suggest that massage could increase the size of the breasts, it seems to be more anecdotal rather than factual.

        • there is a way to get them breasts: eat chicken breasts. it worked for some of my family members. or eat papaya fruit

        • Anecdotal evidence, like I mentioned above. There’s no actual proof that their breasts grew because of fruit or chicken. You can certainly gain weight by eating those things though, and that would likely make your breasts grow as well, but it’s not because of those specific foods. There is nothing besides hormone therapy or breast implants that will change the size of your breasts. They fluctuate naturally with your menstrual cycle ( hormonal ), but stay generally the same size.

  37. It says that “please use it for ‘relax time’ in the bath and/or after the bath” at least… But don’t see the reason why. ^^’

  38. That first “busted” joke… I laughed so hard :P

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