Let’s start off by saying welcome, male viewers! We’re Eatyourkimchi! Come, hang out for a while, and say hello to a predominantly female audience! They’re nice and friendly and you’re very welcome here.

To our regular audience: psssst…did that work? Did we trick em?

Ok, for real, we know that our audience is predominantly female. But our male numbers have been growing! We were once at, like, 7% men, but now we’re at around 20%. Booya! Videos like this sucker more of them in. Remember a while ago we did a video about what it’s like having Big Boobs in Korea? Well, the title was “Big Boobs in Korea” and our male viewers EXPLODED. Oddly, the highest percentage: Korean men aged 40-50. I wonder who’s gonna be watching this video…

Back to the actual video itself, I was starting to think about the ridiculousness of these massagers. We’ve done a few of them, including the Penis Massager fairly recently, and when I saw this one I thought “who actually buys and uses this stuff? Is it a gag gift?” Well, we were speaking with a friend of ours, and she said that one of her co-workers recently, at a meeting, pulled out the Penis Massager and started rubbing that on her body, to which our friend could barely contain her laughter. So, people DO use these things. I’m just not sure if someone’s gonna bust out the Bust massager (see that play on words? OH SO CLEVERRRR).

But, for really real, what’s the logic behind something like this? For the couple of screenshots we put up there, if anyone can read Japanese, please let us know what they were trying to advertise as the benefits of using this product. Does rubbing your boobs make them…firmer? Bigger? Smoother? I really don’t know the benefits of using this thing. Someone, please explain, and then we can talk about it more in the comments.

I’d like to see some massagers marketed to men. Every one that we’ve talked about so far seems to be for women’s beauty, but what about men’s beauty? You hear about S-lines and B-lines and V-lines and whatnot, but are there any lines that men are supposed to have, and – if so – what cheap plastic massagers can I use to get those lines?

Sidenote: yes, we know that this isn’t a Korean product. It’s a Japanese one, that was made in China, but we got it as a part of a fanmail package, and we just knew we had to do a WTF on it. HOW COULD WE RESIST? If you’ve got any ridiculous items you think would make a great WTF video and you’d like us to try to figure out how to use them on camera, we’d be more than happy to play around with them. Ha!

On that note, make sure you click on this fancy button down here to subscribe for more WTF videos, especially you, new male viewers!

  1. Hey this was my fanmail package!! So glad you guys liked it :D

  2. wat is her lip stick is so nice

  3. I haven’t laughed this hard while watching an WANK in ages.

  4. Just to help you “mountian” plus “mouth”山口 isn’t exit exit= deguchi 出口~ Helping everyone learn Japanese :3 xD

  5. Simon and Martina’s new audience …

  6. KATHyphenTUN

    lol I’d like to point out that my boyfriend now likes to do the “waka waka” hand movements. what have you done!!! XP

  7. GUISE I am officially jealous of Martina’s lipstick game. It’s flawless y’all.
    Also… boobs.

  8. I love the Random Mustache on the wall. I am picturing googly eyes… Yes.. I know what I am mailing you. Googly eyes.

  9. Yep, my friend was right! The Koreans (and Japanese?) are a masochistic people. ;) No pain, no gain, Martina, get those boobs perky! j/k.

  10. Ouch! That looks like it hurts so much just watching!

  11. Cyber_3

    If you have to do a lot of lifting or bending down in your day to day (cleaning, working, etc.), especially if it’s something that you’re not used to, your pectorals and chest muscles can get quite sore and a nice massage does a world of good. I can’t see using one of these things though. That’s what husbands are for ;)……or one of those vibratey massage balls is also great.

  12. Cyber_3

    Simon! For shame! Don’t be pimping out Martina just to get more male viewers! >.<
    LOL! Though I suppose that Simon shouldn't get all the sexy shots ;)

  13. So, I loved this video and Simon’s worship of his wife’s boobs. I remembered that he said it was one of the first things he noticed about her… Teh b00bz. I love that he’s still somewhat of a perv about them. Never get tired of her boobs Simon. They were a gift from God.

  14. Guys guys guys this is CLEARLY to clean off the busts of old guys you’ve got lying around, it’s a combination lint roller and swifter! XD

  15. love how simon cant stop looking at martina’s boobs

  16. Whatt the fff…

  17. So funny… Simon and Martina, you’re great xD

    Not so long ago there were woody things quite similar to this boob’s massager, but they were for the feet. They were everywhere, and everyone had one. It was like the perfect gift.

    Here in Madrid I discovered something also quite bizarre… Maybe you have seen this before, or maybe is something quite usual were you live… but it really make my day ;)

    • you dont wear that lol its just to save the shape of the bra which maybe a good idea considering bra’s can be damn expensive

      • xD yeah, it’s just that i hadn’t see it before, and we found it quite funny… in fact, my friend and i walked a little around the shop with it. The chinese shop owner was looking at us just like… wtf… and we didn’t blame her ^-^

    • Cyber_3

      It’s not the nastiest thing that comes to mind but that really does look like a very innovative bra hanger to me. Keeps your bras nice/unwrinkly in your drawer or on the hanger? I could see lingerie shops using them too.


  19. Martina, you seem more taller in this video. Are you wearing heel or a stool, I find it very funny Lol

  20. I’ve never laughed so much at something you wrote in your vlog! Especially the opening paragraph. Too funny!!!

  21. I haven’ts stopped replaying this since it got uploaded!! this is wayyyyyyy too funny!!! made my day~ ♥

  22. I have pretty big boobs and they get sore after a long day just like your back or your feet. Or maybe its just the muscles that hold them up that get sore. I’m probably not wearing the right size bra. Anyway, a massage would be great for when they’re sore, but I don’t think I want that one anywhere near them haha.

  23. Would… Would a boob massager be for like… how you get a back massager, sore boobies? Maybe it’s not about look or firmness at all…

  24. idk…but there is no way you can make your boobies look bigger with that plastic thing or any beauty item,the only option is plastic surgery

  25. Did my eyesight get worse or is this video a bit out of focus? Anyways, Martina looks great with that red lipstick and matching hat. And Simon, U so nasty! “Can I put my mouth on your mountain?” oh boy XD

  26. Actually, guys do have the inguinal crease (a.k.a.: inguinal line) in the hip/groin/lower abdominal area. Don’t know if there are any massagers for that area, though.

  27. That lipstick looks beautiful on you, Martina :D

  28. I love that these WTF video’s are back! Showing us all the weird wonderfullness offered by Asia :) I also like that I was able to pause the video and finally see a decent side angle of Martina’s tattoo coloured in (yes I’m a tattoo nerd….! :P)

  29. Ashley Nicolette Smith

    I was laughing so hard from this video I was in pain! This contraption had me sore though. However developed that thing couldn’t have been a female because that thing look painful! lol

  30. thisisjustforfunval

    Oh geezy greezy, you kept singing Single Ladies and all I could picture was this http://youtu.be/Jxb1xix_HCQ

    Btw that boob roller looks so uncomfortable, but Simon seems to be enjoying watching Martina use it.

  31. I was howling in laughter and disbeleif… I completely expected Simon to demonstrate any and all boob products, Oh wow. My sides, they keel……

  32. vannia

    Hmm this would only seem painful to me haha…??? Maybe it’s to move around the fat in the breasts so it’s more even??? Either way it’s odd

  33. lady_kire

    Sees title: What the…?
    Sees roller: Oh I’ve seen that at Daiso…
    After video: uh… did this just raise the male views?

    I don’t even know how massaging your boobs is helpful.. Unless people think it can make them bigger…hm.m…

  34. I like how Mr Brohoho’s mustache is stuck to his wall :D


  36. that phrase pops right in my mind, cant help it

  37. I posted this before, but since this is about boobs, I’ll post it again.

    I’m just going to post this once, but “A cups” can be anything from tiny to REALLY BIG. I am a 28E, which is equivalent in size to about 38A, BUT I look very “small”. I’m wearing the right size bra after many years of being told I’m a 34A. So I’m just going to share this for all the women.

    If your bra does not touch your chest between your breasts, it is not the right size. If the band does not stay horizontal to the ground, it’s the wrong size. If the cup / underwire cuts off before the middle of the side of your body, it’s the wrong size ( right under the armpit ). If you cannot push your straps off your shoulders and have your bra stay where it’s at, it is not the right size ( exceptions for very, VERY large breasts ).
    Your straps should not be giving you the most support, 95% of the support should come from the band. Hence, when you
    measure, it needs to be very snug and do NOT add anything to it. My chest measurement underneath my breasts is 28~29 inches, and even though it felt tight at first, you will be more than happy that you don’t have to adjust your bra all the time. Measuring around the largest part of your breasts should be done sitting up and leaning over at a 90 degree angle, to use the average for the most accurate measurement. Sitting up to measure needs to be horizontal to the ground, same with measuring around your ribcage,and has to be done with absolutely nothing on, no shirts, bras, etc or you will get the wrong size. The difference between these 2 measurements is your size, like this: 1 inch = A cup, 2 inches = B cup, 3 inches = C
    cup, etc.

    American sizing is wrong wrong WRONG and you should not even bother. Buy bras made in the UK / Europe, their sizing is much more standardized. They also don’t do triple-letter sizes, which can be confusing in the first place. Some might cost a little more, but it is absolutely worth it to get a correctly-sized bra. I’m unlucky enough to still have a difficult size to find ( 28E/30DD ). And please remember, this is a starting point for a correctly-sized bra. You might differ by a cupsize or band size depending on the style.

    So when you say A cups unite, just remember you’re calling me and everyone else out too, because every single size of bra is equivalent to an A cup in some manner. I would be a 38A if the band size came anywhere close to fitting. It’s also equivalent to a 36B, 34C, 32D, and 30DD. [ Bra cups are made like this btw, the ones I said are all exactly the same size in the cup area, it's the band length that's different. A 36A bra is smaller in volume and size, but is exactly the same cup as a 34B, 32C, etc. Wikipedia chart - http://tinyurl.com/4otkp86 ]

    So TL;DR – I have a DD/E cup, and I want bigger boobs. ( But I would never use THAT on my chest. Ouch. )

    • Thank you for the information. Based on what you said, I know I have a right sized bra.
      In the end, it all comes down to being comfortable to wear.
      Also, I will stick to my european sizing for the rest of my life *lol*. No, seriously, for someone who lives in Europe other sizing charts for clothes and stuff confuse me.

      • Yeah. American sizing for clothing is so… I don’t even know. There’s discrepancies even in the same clothing lines, and vanity sizing is completely out of hand. Someone went around and found out that in men’s trousers, the same size varied by as much as 7 entire inches in the waistband. That’s just absurd! In women’s sizes, they vary between “junior’s” and “women’s”, junior sizes being 0, 1, 3, etc, and women’s being 0, 2, 4, etc, and then we have the waist sizing as well with 24, 25, 26, etc. And those are even varied in how they fit in the same styles. -shakes head-
        Bras aren’t really different in terms of sizing ( except fit between styles ), but the cup letters are just all over the place in the States, and there are very few sizes available. It’s like, 32 A-C, 34 A-D, 36 B-D, and 38 C-D. There’s so many other sizes, but they just aren’t available! I had to order bras from the UK to get my size.

        I don’t really equate comfort with fit, since a properly-fitting bra is likely to be very uncomfortable if you’re used to the wrong size. I thought I’d never be able to breathe when I put on a 28E, but I can’t imagine wearing more than a 30 ( DD, same volume ) now. The band is just far too loose. -That- is much more uncomfortable than wearing the right size, now. My sister claimed that the bra didn’t fit when I gave her what her correct size was, she just kept insisting on wearing a band that was far too large because it was “more comfortable”. She actually does have large breasts, so I’m sure she has back pain ( or will in a few years ), because she has no support.

        But really, if I had the money and it turned out I couldn’t have children ( a possibility ), I would totally get breast implants. I wouldn’t mess around with this roller thing, that just looks painful! Though there are some studies that suggest that massage could increase the size of the breasts, it seems to be more anecdotal rather than factual.

        • there is a way to get them breasts: eat chicken breasts. it worked for some of my family members. or eat papaya fruit

        • Anecdotal evidence, like I mentioned above. There’s no actual proof that their breasts grew because of fruit or chicken. You can certainly gain weight by eating those things though, and that would likely make your breasts grow as well, but it’s not because of those specific foods. There is nothing besides hormone therapy or breast implants that will change the size of your breasts. They fluctuate naturally with your menstrual cycle ( hormonal ), but stay generally the same size.

  38. haruchi

    It says that “please use it for ‘relax time’ in the bath and/or after the bath” at least… But don’t see the reason why. ^^’

  39. That first “busted” joke… I laughed so hard :P

  40. i remembered something while watching this.. when i was 15, there was something similar to this.. it’s a roller which supposed to make your boobies larger, and the picture on the back showing a Japan girl using that thing and her boobs like instantly from cup A to DD (you guys get what i mean, right?).. and for us Asian girls, it was like a totally must-have.. and since it was a bit expensive at that time, only the rich girls have it.. and when i see them now, their boobies are way smaller than mine so i guess this thing is a trap for reducing boobies size rather than making them bigger..

  41. That was the funniest WTF you ever did (in my opinion). I couldn’t stop laughing. Not sure about massage stuff for men, around here, but we have this http://www.geschenkidee.ch/image/shopsw/114/246_large–kopfmassage-mit-vibration.jpg for the head (not sure if you do too?)

  42. Aaron Ho

    Male Nasties ASSEMBLEEEEEE!!

    • Male Nasty, here for the Kimchi not for the boobs.

      • I’m proud to say I’ve been a male nasty since 2010 and I’ve seen every video you guys have ever put up. I’m here for the whole package. I just love watching your amazing relationship unfold in Korea and I’d still be watching no matter what you posted in videos because I just love you two as the nasty, nerdy, funny people you are. I get home from a 13 hour day at work and unwind by watching your videos. Keep up the great work and I hope we can get some more Male nasties to stick around permanently so that the girl groups have a chance to win something.

        • That’s awesome. Thank you!

        • Thanks for the reply guys! ^_^ While I have your attention I just wanted to say that I’m one of the many US Nasties and I live in Chicago. As such I was hoping to be involved in planning the Midwest stop of the US Tour. I have an amazing venue available and have the whole itinerary planned out in my head already. All I need to do is get a hold of the other organizers and/or Suzy so I can pass on the information. Unfortunately I don’t have Twitter or Facebook, so my best bet is posting here or by e-mail. I’ve already tried to get a hold of the US Nasties group e-mail twoce but got no response. Perhaps someone could help me get in touch with them some other way? Looking forward to seeing you guys in the States soon!

        • -Edit: this should have been posted after my other reponse below but the order got messed up

          So I dug up the old e-mail I tried to send to the US Nasties group e-mail and reposted it here for easier viewing. Hopfully I can get in touch with someone soon before things are set in stone.

          “Hey all you US Nasties,

          My name is Matt Rogan and I have been a Nasty for 4 years now. I’ve seen every video Simon and Martina have ever released and am a diehard fan of theirs (as I’m sure a lot of you are). I’m currently living in Chicago and was wondering if there were already plans in the works to have them make a stop in Chicago during their US tour. If there are no concrete details as of yet, I believe I may have a suitable venue for their visit.

          For 6 years, I have been attending the Anime Central Japanese Culture Convention (ACen). ACen is the largest asain culture convention in the Midwest and usually brings in over 25,000 attendees and I think that we can make a case for EatYourKimchi to be panelists at the event. I’ve done some research and it seems like it could work. My idea was to have them hold one or more panels discussing a variety of topics including but not limited to: discussing their favorite animes with fans, doing reviews on anime/dramas, discussing Japanese language releases from K-pop groups, discussing japanese music/culture in general, or comparing Japan to Korea in a variety of ways. Of course there is also a possibility of a fanmeet and/or autographing session since there are already such things set up for famous international guests.

          The convention takes place in Rosemont, IL at the Donald E. Stephens Convention center which is literally 2 minutes away from O’Hare airport. It would be incredibly easy to make travel arrangements to and from the airport via shuttle and the convention is also hosted by the Hyatt Regency hotel so making room reservations for panelists is also rather simple. The actual convention takes place on May 16th – 18th and panelists get free admission. I am more than willing to book their flight and hotel rooms for this event if it comes into fruition. It’s also the only venue I can think of that would be large enough and well organized enough to facilitate an EYK fanmeet. The staff and security personel are very well trained for this sort of thing and they provide you with all of the necessary equipment you might need such as projectors, sound systems, rooms and seating, escorts, etc.

          I also think that it would be really fun for them to spend their free time just wandering around the convention itself. Seeing all of the amazing cosplayers, buying things at the dealers/artists floor, just enjoying the atmosphere in general. There are tons of interesting shows and concerts each year to see and I believe they could have loads of fun attending this event. In addition to the convention I had planned on taking them into downtown for at least one day to tour the city, eat some amazing food, and take in all of the incredible architecture of the city. I’m actually an architecture student myself and I have a friend who works at the Chicago Architecture Society headquarters who has offered to provide them with a walking tour of the city’s architecture.

          I basically have all three days planned out in my head and, as I said before, I’m more than willing to take the lead on this stop of the US tour. If someone can get back to me on this matter as soon as possible I can get the ball rolling and start going through the necessary steps to get them booked for the event. Of course any and all help would be appreciated. I can fill in everyone else with the details, but I feel that it would be too much to type in this already long e-mail. Hopefully I have given you a pretty good sense of my plan and we can work something out. Thanks for hearing me out.

          -Matt Rogan, a diehard Chicago Nasty”

        • That sounds awesome! We’d love to take part in this!

        • Then let’s make it happen! Even if this doesn’t end up being a part of the US Nasties Tour next Summer, I’d still love to have you guys come out this way for the event. Like I said in the e-mail, I’ve already looked up all of the necessary steps to getting this thing booked, all I need is the green light from you guys. If you are available from May 16th-18th then I’ll take care of the travel arrangements for you and finalize an itinerary for the weekend (which will of course include free time for you to explore on your own). I know you both would love this event and I hope we can make it work. Just let me know who I should talk to about this trip (either yourselves or Suzy) and I’ll send them my contact information.

  43. I was just talking with my boyfriend the other day about his moobs have gotten bigger. I should totally buy him one of these. Best Christmas present ever!

  44. that was totally… WTF. martina, i applaud u for trying that weird torture device on your boobs on camera.

  45. I knew your male audience was low but really that low? haha makes me feel special lol I’ve been following you guys from the beginning :3 Any hardcore male nasties in the house??…that didn’t come for boobs. lol

    • I’m male, and come for the comedic genius, love these guys. I got into K pop a little over a year ago, and the best part of it was starting to watch Simon and Martina, especially the live streams. Every time they read one of my comments I feel like an internet celebrity.

      • I know right ! They have so much to offer, I want them to know and rely on that to bring in male viewers….not Japanese sex…um..massage items *cough* even though videos like this are highly amusing xD. Nastyfolyfe <3

  46. japan always come up with the weirdest invention…

  47. hapagirl

    I can’t wait for someone to actually tell everyone what this is actually for. But oh boy, I wonder how many guys are gonna just randomly show up watch this and then be like, “Oh boobs, I’ll watch more! And they have something called FAPFAP’s and WANK’s and DICK’s and there’s more girls! This was made for me! Hey, wait what’s with all these cutesy stuff and Asian guys dancing? I came here for boobs and fapfaps and wanking!”
    I will say it’s a good thing you two are together, because I feel like it was just you two just as friends doing this, would have been awkward~

  48. ChocoPandaa

    Funny how I was just watching this vine video: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=570447503015231
    And Simon here sings “If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it..” xD

    Martina are you gonna use it off cam in your apartment to see how it feels like? LOL
    PS. What’s with the random mustache on the wall….

  49. Why hello there random mustache…

  50. Is it bad I said “BOO-BEEEEES~” (in similar fashion to SOOZEEEEEEEE) in my head? But seriously though, there are some weird body shaping gadgets out there.

  51. Expecting a string of Nasty jokes coming along in 3..2..

  52. First comment!!! Whoop whoop!! I love your guises videos!!! They are as awesome as U r!! :D Your sense of humor is so similar to my own, that it feels like I’m watching a friend and not someone I’ve never met before!! heh heh

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