June 17, 2015
Dear Josh and Ollie: remember that video in which you took us for the worst food experience of our entire lives? And I’m not exaggerating when I say that hongeo was actually the worst food experience of my entire life? Well, I remember. Pepperidge Farm remembers! And so, when you sent us an email telling us that you’re in town and you wanted to shoot something with us, I knew that your time of reckoning was upon us.
So we did research on the spiciest food we could find in our area, and found this place that was really close to our studio. Just a few minute walk and we were there. To be honest, before we went there I wasn’t really optimistic. Korean spice is never really spicy for us. We’re pros when it comes to spicy food, and whenever we go somewhere and have Korean people warn us that the food is spicy, we laugh. LAUGH! LAUGH AT THE PUNY SPICE! Sure, we might feel the heat a bit, a bit of warmth and a tingle, but our tastebuds are otherwise dead to Korean spice. You hear me, Korean spice? You’re dead to me.
But this…this was insanely hot.
The people at the restaurant told us that nobody really orders the 100% spice. Most people order it at 30% and can barely handle it. We went balls out. I wanted 120% spice but they didn’t offer that. THANK GOD! This was a bit too painful to endure. I could barely even taste the rest of the food. All I could taste was the years of my life slipping away from me, one sacrificed tastebud at a time, sacrificed to the many-faced god. But we were willing to do it! This meal was a murder-suicide, all justified in the honor of vengeance to get Josh and Ollie back, although this still wasn’t as bad a food experience as the Hongeo. I’d eat this seven times before eating Hongeo once.
But hey. You. I don’t want you to get a bad impression of Galbi-Jim if you’ve never had it before. It’s not usually this spicy. It’s actually really delicious when it’s done well. It’s perhaps one of my favourite Korean dishes. Sweet, tender meat that falls off in soft stewed potatoes and aggghghhhhh it’s lovely. It’s one of those dishes whose taste reminds you of a mother’s love. This place did not have that kind of love. It had hate. Hate and death and fire and damnation!
But it was hilarious to shoot. We all had great laughs. I’m surprised Ollie did so well! I thought he’d bow out, but it was Josh who was sweating up a storm and panicking. Martina was alright. Her pain tolerance is insane, after all. So she burned a bit, but not as much as we burned. Also, I kinda made the mistake of winning that speed round. Because I ate it so quickly, I don’t think I chewed it enough to mute the spice on the way down, and my chest was on fire for the next couple of days. And the poos. Oh Jesus. The poos. Next time, I’ll let someone else win. That…was a bad idea.
Afterwards, we shot a more friendly video with Josh and Ollie on their channel, where we try out some other Old School Korean Candies, similar to our last one. There were many candies that we didn’t try from before, so we were excited to experience those. Check it out in the video below!
We’ve got some extra scenes that didn’t make the final cut. Check em out in the bloopers, if you’re up for some more suffering: