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Miss A – I Don’t Need a Man: Kpop Music Mondays

October 30, 2012

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A GIRL BAND ON KPOP MUSIC MONDAY! It has finally happened! After 13 weeks of pure Kpop Sausage festivities, Miss A finally breaks the streak to be a girl band on Kpop Music Mondays! If you haven’t seen this record-breaking video, check it out here:

So I’ve noticed that as of late we are saving our deeper thoughts for our blog posts. We had a bit to say about this Miss A video, or more so, what it stirred up inside of us regarding implications about Korean culture, but we feel like Music Monday should remain at least a bit entertaining rather than a heavy lecture about what we think about stuff. But the fact that we have to hold ourselves back a bit for Music Mondays doesn’t make us upset because we feel like there are different communities of people existing on YouTube, Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, and on the EYK blog itself that have different kinds of conversations and enjoy commenting in different ways. While a lot of viewers overlap into all of these communities (the Nastiest of the Nasties!), we must confess that this blog here has our favourite group of individuals, who all seem to promote conversation and to discuss things in a level-headed fashion. YAY! So onto our thoughts about the video:

While Miss A’s message seems simple enough, truthfully, it’s difficult to fully grasp the context of the video if you don’t live (or if you have lived) in Korea. Even thought we really love Korean culture, there are some parts we don’t love, one of which being the rampant materialism. I’ll give you an upsetting example: when I was still teaching at my all girls high school, dating was a hot topic, so I tried to incorporate interesting concepts like opinions on dating into my lessons to foster class participation. One of my classes was an open class survey where I asked questions in English, and the students would vote, and then we’d discuss why they voted for what, and then they’d present their findings to the class.

One of the most appalling discoveries I made was during a survey about dating and marriage. Out of my 14 classes of over 40 students, around 80% of them would choose A) a good looking, tall, rich person that treated them like garbage over B) a short but good looking average paid person that treated them like gold. I was SO shocked and I wanted to know why they would make such a poor choice, to which they’d respond that appearance to other people was more important. And somehow, they thought their personal happiness would increase if other people were envious of what they had, even if what they had didn’t result in their own personal happiness. And there was also the added bonus they could buy things to make themselves happy.

Now, I’m glad that there was a small percentage of students that wanted to meet someone that wasn’t a jerk, but even when I adjusted the survey more in favour of the shorter guy regarding happiness, it seemed like shortness in itself was such a HUGE problem. A huge shallow problem. When I told my students I dated a guy who was a foot shorter than me (true) they were shocked and even responded with “ewww”. I really REALLY tried to impress upon my students the importance of a person liking someone for their personality, rather than for just money and looks, but it was hard to convince them when they’d say, “but you married Simon and he’s really tall.” I didn’t marry Simon because he was tall!!!! O____o

Now as I got to know more Korean adults, I discovered that, in my personal opinion, some of their priorities were out of order. When my friends started dating a new guy, I asked them what they were like and every single person started to tell me about their job, how much money they make, and if they were good looking. I even had one friend tell me in advance, “he’s not good looking and he doesn’t make a lot of money”. And I was like… “Um. I don’t care about that. Does he treat you well? Does he make you laugh?” I really had to needle my friends to find out WHAT their boyfriend were like outside of their jobs, so I feel like something is going wrong with priorities if people are more concerned about impressing their friends about their boyfriends’ job. Now obviously, not everyone in Korea is like this, but I experienced it enough to feel worried about my friends.

Now what does this have to do with Miss A’s song? Well, it seems that the idea of dating or marrying rich is a very big goal in Korea (and other parts of the world), but it’s more weighed towards a woman snagging a rich man, rather than a man snagging a rich woman.

Even if you look at Korean dramas, the concept of wealthy women seem to fall into three basic categories: a really old grandma CEO, a heinous b*tch of a crazy CEO, or the heinous b*tch daughter of a rich CEO trying to hook up with the rich guy that is interested in the poor girl. Why aren’t there any talented F4 flower girls that are sought after by all the boys? Super rich woman driving hot cars and saving a poor guy from his rough life of not-richness? I want to see a Korean girl forcefully grab a guy by his wrist and drag him somewhere against his will. I really think that this is a small reflection of how gender roles are seen in Korea.

Now I know, we could look at North American TV shows and be appalled by what they say about North America, but yeah, I do think that a lot of the trashy reality TV shows out there are a reflection of what needs to change. How is Toddlers in Tiara’s still allowed to be on TV?! What is with this HoneyBooBoo crap?! But since I live in Korea, I’m out of the loop with North American TV and I just read random articles that appall me from time to time.

Altogether, I wasn’t necessarily trying to make a point in this blog post or form a hypothesis or anything. I just wanted to talk a bit about my experiences of gender roles in Korea and how those experiences relate to Miss A’s song and video, which might not be as relatable to people living outside of Korea. Living in Korea, though, this video makes a lot of sense to us. Alright, I need input people, input! Anyone else have similar experiences while living in Korea? Outside of Korea? Inside of a hamburger bun? What….

And, on another super serious note, JYP yells out his name whenever he pulls something out of his pants, and more in the bloopers!

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Miss A – I Don’t Need a Man: Kpop Music Mondays

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  1. MG

    . I wasn’t a big fan of the this MV I’ve been voting for Epic High all week. But I think you guys did a great job you made my laugh a lot on this one. Also I love your Shirt Martina! and your hair looked great!

    7 years ago
  2. “we must confess that this blog here has our favourite group of individuals, who all seem

    to promote conversation and to discuss things in a level-headed fashion” *YEY* *___* ♥__♥

    “80% of them would choose A) a good looking, tall, rich person that treated them like garbage over B) a short but good looking average paid person that treated them like gold” that’s horrible ━Σ(゚Д゚|||)━

    Well I know the song has a bigger impact in Korea but for the international fans it could be also a call to encourage independency and make people think more seriously about their lives…

    Seriously guise I feel so glad this video and song made it for Kpop MM! It had to be brought up!

    7 years ago
  3. Simon doesn’t need his pants because he lost them :D
    Anyways, another mature post by you guys. Well, Martina :)
    I’m sorry that girls have those priorities but it’s mostly because “everyone” is like that so even if a girl wants to date a “normal” guy she is kind of embarrassed to do so cause of her friends/family. I think that only media can change that situation since media is what sets an image of what’s “cool” and “desirable”.

    7 years ago
  4. MG

    I also thought of Destiney’s child when I first heard the song. So It wasn’t a new concept for me either. As far as Korean women looking for a tall and rich man to rescue them I don’t think that’s something that’s exclusively part of Korean culture or Asian culture. Here In the U.S women are always looking for the richest man they can find. We also have harlequin Romance novels here when the last time one’s been written about an average working class man? Or even anything on TV here all the men in love stories are either successful or highly talented. Now the subject of Korean Dramas go. One of the reasons I love them so much is their women are always very strong and independent they are middle class or poor they are hard working and are never the type to take handouts from any man, also one of the reasons the rich man usually falls for them. The women in Korean dramas are also very job and Career oriented and they are often in their late 20 or early 30s and not married yet because men haven’t been their first priority in life. So even tho the men are always super rich. it has no effect on why the women fall in love with them. I like watching the struggle of women trying to make it in Korea being shown then just starting off with a successful women from the start.

    7 years ago
  5. Hey there Simon and Martina. I don’t mean this in a rude way or anything, but I just want to point out that this isn’t the only kpop music video that has English subtitles. Not all of JYP’s artists’ music videos have them, but quite a few of them do. I remember when Wooyoung came out with “Sexy Lady” and it had English subs. Also, I know that Block B’s “Nillili Mambo” had English subs. Those are just to name a few. Sorry if this seems rude…I don’t intend for it to be. Thanks for hearing me out. :D

    7 years ago
  6. ……..(was the one who added TVXQs balloons……….nice

    7 years ago
  7. woohoo! you called us your favorite discussion group!

    7 years ago
  8. Haha! Loved the French subtitles!

    7 years ago
  9. This song definitely made me think of Destiny’s Child, in a good way. I thought the message was great, and even though I’m hearing people say it’s really not Miss A’s best song, I have to disagree. This song and the message it’s trying to get across makes it my favorite of their songs. It has substance, and a rocking beat to go with it. It’s nice to know that bands in other countries are going with the ‘strong, independent woman’ message. It’s something that needs to be more well-known. It also reminded me of a quote (and I’m not exactly sure how it goes) along the lines of “Give a man (money, food) and he raise up his family for a day, give a woman (money, food) and she’ll raise up the whole village.’ Sort of. Thanks EYK!

    7 years ago
  10. Wow I think this has been my favourite review in a while… And I totally relate to this song’s message. I mean even living in France I often get comments like ‘don’t you miss having a man?’ when I say I’m single. It might be me overreacting here but I sometimes have the impression that even though the equality between genders is seemingly established, people seem to think that women are more in need of a man than the contrary… Ah well sorry for the rant I loved this KMM and had a good laugh anyway! Thanks for the bit of French at the end by the way (Youtube instant translations are often ridiculous)

    7 years ago
  11. I loved Music Monday this week, and i have to add that Martina, your post makes A LOT of sense! since i don’t live in Korea (yet :P) i don’t have first hand experience with this, its a good thing to know. and yes Simon, you DO need your pants! btw….*whisper:JYP!

    7 years ago
  12. lol @ simon holding up the sausages

    7 years ago
  13. Big hearts to the finger moustache!!!

    7 years ago
  14. I remember being in school and we would all jokingly say, “Junior year is kicking my ass. I’m just marrying a rich guy.” I think the marrying a rich man is because family wants to know you’re taken care of, I know my parents would love me to be well of with a rich man. At the same time, I think they’d be disappointed if I threw everything away just to be well off. I had a physics teacher who flat out told us that a marriage to a rich man would not work out. Then again being at an all girls school, they wanted us to be independent women, not following behind a man the rest of our lives.

    7 years ago
  15. Whatever problems I have with dating in my own culture, I’m glad this isn’t one of them.

    7 years ago
  16. I really liked this blogpost..heh. so level headed xD but in all seriousness, I agree… Although it’s adorable watching the guy save the girl etc etc, I wonder what the drama would be like if the girl saved the guy. Also, in Asia in general, I found that reputation matters a lot. I’ve told my parents many times that I don’t care what I wear, I don’t care that people may think I’m poor since I wear the same clothes, yet my parents insist my reputation would be bad.

    7 years ago
    • That’s why I really liked that one drama, Protect the Boss I think it was called, because it seemed the girl did more saving the guy instead of the other way around.

      7 years ago
  17. The video doesn’t work on my mac :( Loved what you both had to say though!! I didn’t realize how materialistic people could be. Lol I would much rather be in a relationship with someone that is poor but treats me well then be with someone rich that treats me like crap. I wish more people felt that way. Its really sad to see good people end up with jerks!!

    7 years ago
  18. I was really excited when I understood the deeper meaning/context to this song because of you guise. I am constantly indebted to EYK for giving me a better understanding of Korean culture and thus allowing me to enjoy it more.
    I’m really glad you went more in depth about dating standards in Korea. I know you’ve touched on it briefly in other videos, but this blogpost really hits home the big idea. It seems so foreign to me to date only for looks/money and it makes me really sad that some girls in the world hold this as an ideal. Do I appreciate an attractive guy? Yes. Will I solely base a relationship off of looks? No. This does not equal a lifetime happiness, because eventually looks will fade and no amount of money is infinite. True happiness looks past that and I’m glad miss A is promoting that idea. To quote an article I read in all kpop “[Miss A] arent looking for a man, they’re looking for the right man” Amen!
    So yeah, end rant.

    7 years ago
  19. This is so very interesting! Just today we were going over family and life vocab in my Japanese class and Sensei was telling us that even if a married couple hate each other they would never get divorced. She even mentioned that she’s never seen her parents kiss.
    Okay, a little different than what you’re talking about but it’s still interesting to see the huge culture differences. It’s really hard to wrap your mind around marrying for money. Yes, some have the Cinderella idea of falling in love and marrying a rich guy but it seems like they’re skipping the falling in love part. :/
    I, for one, am really sorry you had to subject yourself to Toddlers in Tiaras and HoneyBooBoo. I apologize for my country to making such cheap and horrible shows.

    7 years ago
  20. I couldn’t agree more with Martina, It always saddens me to see wealth and career progression being equated with success in life and a yardstick by which to measure a potential partner. There are far more important things in life. Money is not everything. I just hope that Martina’s former students don’t have to find that out the hard way.

    7 years ago
  21. I’ve been into korean culture for a while now, and I think the same way…after watching lots of tv dramas and MV I understood that one of negative aspects in it is the materialism and the idea of female figure above all…however, I think it is not only an “Asian Issue” but more a global one…even if not so obviously, in other cultures the idea of the “dominant male power” is always the most popular…I mean, I live in Italy and even here woman have lots of problems at being considered as capable as men…so I really
    liked and understood Miss A’s song, even if I’m not Korean… If nothing else, I appreciate
    Koreans because they are honest in admitting that this is their real way of
    thinking … while I hate the way my government claims to support equal
    opportunities when the problem lies at the very core of our culture…

    7 years ago
  22. Were can i vote for this week showdown ?

    7 years ago
  23. While I’m all for women empowerment and less dependence on a guy/your family, I kinda do understand the korean mentality. While I would never marry a rich guy for his money and disregard his horrible personality traits, I also wouldn’t marry someone who didn’t have a stable job/income even though I loved him (unless I was well off enough to support us both). There has to be a middle ground. You can’t throw love away for money, but you can’t throw away stability away for love either. /shrug that’s just my take on it….

    7 years ago
    • I believe that the problem doesn’t lie in stability itself, but the Korean ideal of stability. The article that Martina posted was talking about how the Korean middle class needs to have a lifestyle that’s almost like the high class in North America. I don’t mean to point out that its bad — every country has its own cultural standards — but from a North American view it seems that happiness comes with a very high price to the point that we wonder if the cost is worth it, especially when it seems that sacrificing personal happiness is okay as long as your decisions garner envy from others, even your friends. Personally, I don’t think of their decisions for dating as a form of stability (in the way Martina described their opinions on dating anyways) but more for bragging rights and that isn’t something I really agree with (and is something I argue with my parents all the time – I’m Vietnamese living in Canada). Either way, this is an interesting blog post and I hope I can read more opinions here to learn more!

      7 years ago
  24. I love watching for Meemers in your videos… he’s like the Where’s Waldo of your videos, he always pops up in unexpected places

    7 years ago
  25. martina do you mean that you dated a guy that was a FOOT or an inch shorter than you? aren’t you 5’7? did you then date a guy that was 4’7? o.O
    one thing that irked me a bit about living in korea was people always asking me if i had a boyfriend. when i would say no, they would say “but you’re pretty, how can a pretty girl like you not have a boyfriend”? -.-

    7 years ago
  26. I’m really glad that you guys elaborated further in this blog post about what you thought of the message. I agree that this probably isn’t miss A’s best song to date, but the message of this song is superb!

    I remember reading a lot of hate comments on the MV comment section, saying that miss A are being stupid and that people are offended because they still live off of their parents’ money and they like their boyfriends to indulge on them. It took everything in me not to respond to those comments. But I think this song probably hit a little too close to home for a lot of people — which is awesome, because for once, there’s a K-pop song that promotes values worthy of followings and not just about being cute and melting a guy’s ice cream.

    7 years ago
    • I guess I don’t think there is anything wrong with parents supporting kids or giving them an allowance, after all, why have kids if you don’t want to take care of them? BUT I think Miss A is referring to those really spoiled kids (like the kind you see in Boys Before Flowers) that are real jerks about having money to spend even though they don’t earn it themselves. The ones that put other people down and judge them based on clothing and looks and name brands. I guess there are extremes in all situations right? Of course, I loved it when Simon used to pop into my work with surprise flowers when we were dating! It’s a great feeling to have a gift bought for you, but you shouldn’t be dating someone FOR the gifts. :D

      7 years ago
      • I had a boyfriend who I could never get him to understand that while I loved that he wanted to give me gifts, the best gift he could give me was the smaller things like simply spending time with me. The lavish gifts, at least for me, didn’t make up for his douche baggery.

        7 years ago
  27. Do the older women who have experienced unhappy marriages in Korea or even young women in bad relationships have different perspectives on the issue? Or do they stay the same?

    7 years ago
  28. Am i the only one who looks for little meemers to show up ^_^

    7 years ago
  29. What stood out for me about this video – apart from the message – is the lack of aegyo, which obviously makes sense given the main idea of the video and the song. It was so refreshing to see a relatively simple dance and observe a lack of cutesy, exaggerated facial expressions! I also felt that though the song wasn’t outstanding/exceptionally good, it was also – not sure how to put this – very easy on the ear? Either way, I’m glad that Miss A and their management/songwriters raised this issue, and while Miss A are no Destiny’s Child, I like the image they project in this song and video, and they seem to be really enjoying themselves, too!:)

    7 years ago
    • Interesting you should say that, because I actually wrote a huge paragraph about the lack of aegyo in this video and what aegyo represents in Korean culture…but then I deleted it because this post was SOOOO BIG!!! Fake aegyo is just a “give me something” tool used (mostly) by women, and that’s why I dislike it so much ESPECIALLY in music videos since it’s encouraging young girls to adapt that style to be liked. My female Korean friends told me that they ended friendships with their friends over their use of aegyo, because their friend would turn on aegyo whenever a guy showed up, act all helpless and silly, and then as soon as the guy was gone it was just back to normal. It’s an interesting concept that I’ve been over saturated with, but when you meet someone who is naturally aegyo (ie: they don’t know how to ACT aegyo), like a really seriously shy, blushing person, it’s really endearing! My only naturally aegyo friend is actually a foreigner. :D

      7 years ago
      • Mav

        Hi, Martina

        I have a question about the aegyo thing. I’ve noticed that its accepted for both young men and women to use it, be it the “i’m shy and blush all the time ommo” or the “pouty, overly cute, childlike pyuing pyuing” type. However, as korean society has such strictly defined forms of social hierarchy, be it age or socioeconomic status, is there a certain line drawn on who is it acceptable to use aegyo with?

        7 years ago
      • Hey guys. First off, thanks for making a point to speak about something that should be addressed in any society. Here in the US, I see it often enough with Pop or Hip-Hop music. An artist, who has such an unproportionally-large amount of social power due to popularity, does nothing with it – or uses it in ways that makes things worse (ie glorifying selling drugs or stuff like that). So “Huzzah !!” to you for taking a stand.
        But here’s my question to you – while you guys have a pretty large (read that as HUGE in my opinion) following, both in Korea and among us waygookin – have you ever noticed a backlash to what you say? Not so much when you might say something critical about some fangirl/boy’s favorite idol … but about how it might be precieved that you are “attacking” Korean society? In some of the stuff I’ve read or watched that has come out of Korea – there seems to be (mildly)growing message of “we like your cars, movies, music, material objects” but we don’t care for you. Have you noticed that or is it really maybe just a very vocal minority that gets undue visibility? And if you have, has any of it been leveled at you? I’m really curious since I’m interviewing for a job in Yongsan and want to be have the most positive outlook on what might be my new home.

        7 years ago
  30. There are actually woman who tries to hook up with a rich married man just because of, well you guessed it, their money. It’s actually a really common thing where I came from (well I’m Asian).. people will just bash at that woman but no one will really do anything about it though ._.

    7 years ago
  31. Mav

    In all honesty, sometimes I think that girls of my generation are throwing away all the work put by women in the 60’s and 70’s to advance the equality of the sexes. I’m originally Colombian -more importantly I’m a costeña, from an area of the country where gender roles are way more on the traditional side of the scale- and as Latina I have to say that this obsession with using a man as means of self-improvement (ha!) is sadly common in my culture. While, a lot of women in Latin America – and latinas in the states- are educated and generally in equal terms with men, this does not qualify them/us as successful women in the eyes of our culture. If you don’t have a man (a successful man, and in a pinch any man) by your side you are not really successful or are lacking in someway.

    For example, i’m about to finish two majors in college ( as in 2 B.A’s) and begin a Masters. However, the first question I’m asked is not “how school doing?”,”did you finish your thesis?” ”what do you plan to do after college?” Nope, it is “Are you dating someone?” and when I answer ”no” they gasp and ask “Why? you should be dating someone, I mean you have to think about marriage!”- DUDE I’M 23! And it doesn’t matter from where in Latin America you are, or if you are in the States, that mindset is everywhere. You need to have a man next to you, get married before you’re 30. In addition it better be a good looking well off guy, if not it can be understood that you are lacking, since the man next to you is proportional to your worth.

    And going back to my initial statement that women from my generation are making this issue worse, well they are. It’s impressive to see them dumbing themselves down, so that they are more appealing to men and cuter. They are also crazy over how they look, not in because they want to look good for their self, but because being good looking/ hot w/e will help them move ahead in life, because in their heads, they’ll either get better treatment (as in favor) because of this or they’ll luck out “and snatch a good one.”

    7 years ago
    • I know how this feels totally as a Latina myself. It’s frustrating how people can totally judge you just because you are not in a relationship. So frustrating. You Go Mav!!! Going for two majors>>>>>That is totally badass!!

      7 years ago
    • ”And it doesn’t matter from where in Latin America you are, or if you are in the States, that mindset is everywhere. ”

      Hm, in my country Brazil, there is a few girls with this mindset, but most of the people I know, and my friends don’t put it above everything else. They want someone that treat them well, and most of them are happy to marry someone who at least earn the same as them (the guy doesn’t need to be rich but at least earn some money that can make them have a comfortable life without hardships)

      When I visit my relatives, their question is ”how is college?” ”did you decide if you are going to work with this or that?” They of course ask if I have a boyfriend, but that is because I never took one to my house kekekeke.

      But marriage? They are all against it LOL, they say ”you have to date a lot and just marry when you think it is time” ”you are still too young to marry” – I have 22 years btw.

      For example, my sister and her boyfriend are dating for 7 years now and my family is still marriage lol they want my sister to graduate from college first, get a job first and then marry…

      My sister is going to be a doctor, she will earn a lot more than my brother in law, and he also isn’t good looking to tell the truth, but boy do they love each other.
      He loves my sister so much that I can’t…. they are perfect to each other.

      7 years ago
      • Mav

        I can say I thankfully have a similar family, and that many of my friends think like you and me. However, your question makes me wonder what makes the general population of Brazil be apparently more progressive as oppose to other countries in Latin America.

        7 years ago
        • That’s really interesting. My mom, who is Colombian, always says to me, my sisters, and my cousins that studying comes before anything else. My family in Colombia does ask me if I’m dating every now and then, but whenever it comes up I usually tell them that I’ll date when I meet someone who I like and that I don’t want to put too much value on dating. Not that dating is bad, I just don’t want to look for my ultimate happiness in dating.

          My dad’s side of the family, which is Peruvian, was also gungho for the most part on studies, at least in recent decades. My aunt’s a doctor with her own practice. She had a really bad falling out with my uncle, her brother, because he said something to her about how women shouldn’t be doctors. They reconciled years later, but you can see what sometimes happens when these two thoughts collide.

          I think part of the emphasis on marriage and gender roles can come from culture, but I also think part of it is socio-economic and generational and perhaps also where your family is from. By that I mean, is your family from the city, from a town, or from a reeeally small town or rural area. I think it’s just a combination of these factors, because one can’t only say “People from the city put less emphasis on dependence on men” because then we wouldn’t be having this conversation about dependence on men in Korea in the first place.

          I’m glad to see some Latin American comments on this topic and on Eat Your Kimchi! Yeaaah! I’m glad to see many different cultures pop up here on Eat Your Kimchi, not just Korean or North American :D

          7 years ago
        • Mav

          I must say that while I’ve made a generalization, and that sometimes doesn’t do justice to the diversity of values inside an individual culture. I understand and to a certain extend agree with you. However, I’ve thought about the socioeconomic aspect and while it explains some cases, it’s not a defining character on the issue. And as you wrote, there is obviously a rural/urban break in gender roles, especially in countries with such disparity in the distribution of wealth, as Latin American countries tend to be. But, from what I’ve been able to observe and experience sometimes education, exposition to other cultures and socioeconomic status go out the window. There must be some common thread to this type of behaviors not only in Latin America but in other parts of the world.Probably some sociologist or anthropologist.

          Like you I’m happy about seeing Latinas/os here, since most of my latino friends are all “tu qué haces viendo eso ha?!” Even if they think Simon and Martina are hilarious, they don’t get the k-pop or k-drama thing.

          7 years ago
    • I’m from mexico and I’ve seen all this that you’re talking about so many times.
      Everytime I meet with my aunts and grandma all the questions, instead of “when are you starting college?”, “what carreer did you choose?” or something of that kind, its “do you have a boyfriend?” I answer no and they go all “Oh, why?”, it’s so tiring.
      This concept of “I have to be married to be a woman in every sense” is totally overrated. Many of my mom’s friends won’t divorce from their crappy husbands just because they think being single at their age (40s) is just a sign of not being femenine enough to keep a man beside you or whatever.
      Even at this age I’ve had to go through some people thinking I’m lesbian because I don’t fully fit into the stereotype of what an 18 year old girl should be. I barely use makeup, I hate using skirts and high heels, play videogames that are usually considered “just for guys” and a vast majority of my friends are male. I’ve been said countless times “If you were more girly I would date you”.
      It’s been around 30 years since women here started to get a more equal treatment around men, and I still don’t see how still at this point the gender roles stay as strong as they were before. I’ve heard of countless girls that just go to college (and the expensive ones usually) in order to find a guy to marry. They don’t even fininsh their carrer because they think they already secured themselves a stable money source for the rest of their lives.

      7 years ago
      • Oh god. I know what you mean. My family is Peruvian & Guatemalan and though my parents don’t generally care whether I date or not (actually it pleases them that I prioritize my education over that and other things); but when it comes to my godmother or other family members (including my sister), they just think I am crazy because I am not interested in dating around. Like when I was around your age my sister literally thought I was a lesbian just because I just did not want to get a boyfriend or whatever (I am fairly feminine–but not flowery– but I have a lot of guy friends so she thinks this is weird). And its true it is definitely all about whether a guy is good looking and if he is financially stable/supportive. Honestly, I prefer depending on myself and have my own plans that I intend on fulfilling.
        As much as I joke around with my friends about “needing to find a man with dem dollar billz”; that doesn’t matter to me as much as whether a guy is well read or is goal oriented and knows what he wants out of life.

        7 years ago
      • Hahaha yeah :D I just want to make teleportation possible because I’m such a Star Trek fan and it would be awesome if you could go anywhere in less than a minute!!

        7 years ago
    • Girls dumb themselves down at my school all the time and it’s so annoying. I think my mom would honestly kill me if I decided that school was pointless and that I should shack up with a rich man. I’ll be honest: I don’t consider myself very attractive, and so I don’t think my boyfriend has to be either. If he respects me, makes me laugh, and gets along with my family, then that is all I need.
      On a side note, what are you majoring in? Double majoring and going on to get a Masters is really impressive^^

      7 years ago
      • Mav

        My mom would have killed me too, but I wonder if those girls moms would do the same. And if they actually are against their daughters acting that way, what motivates these girls to act like that…
        May I say that I love the fact that you listed respect as a quality!

        hehe thank you, I’m almost a Historian and a Journalist ( my grammar doesn’t show it but yeah)

        7 years ago
        • That’s actually an interesting thing to take into consideration: maybe their mothers WANT them to act like that? Or maybe they just want to know that their child will be taken care off financially, I’m not really sure. Respect is a big factor in any relationship I might have^^
          That’s really interesting! I’m thinking about double majoring in English and International Studies and possibly minoring in Education, but I’m not really sure yet :)

          7 years ago
        • Mav

          Ohh Nice! As I was previously minoring in IR ( IS and IR’s are so closely related) and will be doing my masters on that I am totally biased and say go for the double! Are you also a victim of MUN?

          7 years ago
        • Not to sound dumb, but what does MUN stand for?^^

          7 years ago
        • Mav

          it okay, Model United Nations

          7 years ago
  32. Nic

    I saw the new Music Monday was up and was like “Yay!” But forced myself to finish the work I had to do first so I could watch it as a reward for finishing. It was worth it! Loved this Music Monday.

    About what was said about the focus on tall rich guys…. yes sadly I agree and see it all the time in Korean culture.
    I’ve had some experiences myself where it’s been frustrating the focus that is put on height and looks and money. I’m married to a Korean man and he doesn’t exactly fit into the Korean ideal. He is not tall, not rich and by Korea’s high standards not good looking (though Western people seem to think he is good looking). More than once I’ve had friends who were Korean girls blatantly ask me why I married my husband because he is not rich or tall. It shocked me at first but now I have my lines ready about how he treats me so well, he makes me laugh, we are best friends, he makes me happy. I hope I’m changing their views even in a small way when they see how happy we are together. But I do get frustrated at why I need to even defend myself about it….

    But it did make me feel… I’m not sure how to put it… better in some way that’s it’s something obvious to you guys, because it’s something I stopped talking about because when you try to explain this to people who don’t know much about Korean culture either online or offline you can get accused of stereotyping or being rude or racist etc. I start to question myself and wonder is it because I’m closer to Korean men and hear their complaints about this and I start to second guess what I’ve seen and heard. Every culture has good and bad things about it and this is something worrying about modern Korean culture and I do think there should be some dialogue about it. And Miss A’s song is at least a step in the right direction.

    7 years ago
  33. wow very interesting blog post.. i must say I agree and it does scare me sometimes.. outside of the fact that I love korean culture and most of its great things but this is one of things that makes me feel super self conscious when I am surrounded by a bunch of asians or when I go to different country..
    This fact would be I guess why plastic surgery is such a trend over Asian countries.. it’s sad..

    7 years ago
  34. Hmmm, I’d have to say I’m short and single. I don’t really care for tall men because…well…they’re too tall for me…lol! Even the kpop idols are too tall. It makes me wonder how tall Korean women are if they want a tall man. Also, I’m single and live on my own and my step-dad is always talking about how I don’t need a man when I do something as simple as carry grocery bags up the stairs into my apt or take out my own trash….really, now! If I want a man only for those things, then I’m pathetic. I want a man for a relationship and as a companion, not to do things for me. They aren’t slaves. I don’t think I’d want a man for protection either. I can take care of myself. So learning all this about Korea just makes it a little sad for me. I’m not against women independence, but men should treat women better and that goes for all cultures.

    7 years ago
    • By the way, the irony is that most Korean women are shorter than Korean men, but they wear 6 inch heels and complain they want to meet a tall guy. 0_____o I always told my students to throw away their shoes with heels, and TADA! Tall guys everywhere! Hahahaha!

      7 years ago
  35. I noticed that too but never really paid much attention to it. My dad is mongolian and my mom is mexican. love is taken serious in mexican culture, most not all. but finding love when you both have nothing and making it work is a big thing.. but as my dad i noticed it was different. always saying he needs to have a job and good looking is always the first question. but if i tell my mom he open the door and was super nice to me she was most impressed, but if i told her that he yelled at me or told me what to do. she gets really mad and even went to his parents house. To my dad ( that loves me ) saw it differrent. well i see it both ways . but still money is not everything, but it is needed. and looks should just be icying on the cake.

    7 years ago
  36. nice french subtitles…very strange for an insult (but ok, you’re from Canada! ^^), but nice!

    7 years ago
  37. I would rather have a man who treats me right and is not crazily attractive then one who is hot and treats me like crap. In all honesty, i want a relationship like the one may parents have: they respect each other, treat each other equally, and just simply love each other. My mom works and even though she does cook dinner almost every night, my dad does it sometimes and also helps with the cleaning around the house. I guess what I’m trying to say is I want a relationship that is not defined by the gender stereotypes of our society: just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean that I have to be the one that cooks, cleans, and waits on her husband hand and foot. I think society needs to stop focusing on outer beauty when it’s the beauty and character on the inside that really counts.

    7 years ago
  38. I wonder if their draw towards that type of man also has to do with security. When I was in the Philippines I found out that my friends put security and family even before their own opinion of who they choose to marry. When I was visiting N. Africa women don’t even look at a man unless he’s 30 and has his life established.

    7 years ago
  39. I know this doesn’t have anything to do with MissA, but you guys look like you lost a lot of weight! Congrats!

    7 years ago
  40. nah

    Miss A for my vote, it was a song that grew on me, wasn’t a fan the first time, but now im singing it everywere

    7 years ago