April 22, 2015
Last week, we had a discussion about who is more difficult to live with. We’re both very easy going people, and very low maintenance, but which one of us is the lowest maintenance? This led us to talking about each other’s pet peeves, and a discussion whose sentences mostly started with “Yeah! Well at least I don’t…” Of course, none of these issues are big issues, but we found ourselves laughing at our tiny isms, and we thought we’d share a bit of them with you in a silly TL;DR video that lets you know a bit more about us :D
So, apart from the ones we mentioned here in this video, we have a few more:
I don’t know what it is about bad rapping that hurts me. Deep down, nothing makes me cringe so much as bad rapping. And I don’t know how to properly delineate good rapping vs bad rapping. And I’m not talking about preference, either. For example, I listened to the new Action Bronson album: not a fan. Don’t really like his style. Ghostface, also, I’m not a fan of. But they don’t make me cringe. There’s something different about amateur rapping that makes me want to run away. When I watched some of Unpretty Rapstar, when Jessie was standing around and rapping about how badass she is, and how she’d slap everyone there, oh sweet Jesus even thinking about it now I feel my throat closing up.
It’s, I think, the fakeness that burns me. It’s when someone pretends to be hard but they’re not hard that I feel like crying. I saw a video on Reddit the other day of some high school kids freestyle battling as well, and I NOPENOPENOPED out of that window as fast as possible. Some Kpop rappers do that to me as well. Just…oh plz dear no. I know it’s an issue I need to get over, but I just can’t. I CAN’T DO IT!
Step one. Write something that sounds like a normal sentence about your day. For example, today I went to school and fell asleep during math class. Step Two. Take that sentence and sing it all wobbley to the an acoustic guitar and you’ve just killed Martina. Don’t get me wrong, I like female singers like Norah Jones, Lim Kim, Neon Bunny, Beach House….but because they sing about things in an interesting way. If you just speak a normal sentence and attempt to sing it over music, like Jewel’s most painful line, “I brush my teeth and put the cap back on” I will burst into sad flames.
Look: I worked at the mall all throughout my high school career. And I think that, because I spent so much time working in one, I can barely handle being a customer in one now. If I go shopping, it’s with a clear action plan. I go in, grab what I want, and I get out. There’s no perusing. I need to get out of there like it was on fire. So whenever someone working there tries to slow me down, I feel uncomfortable. Don’t tell me about your sales. I’m not interested. I don’t want to spend and more money than what I plan on spending. When I’m at the cash and they ask for my email, I say no. Phone number? No. Why? I’m not interested. Just let me go please! I give you money you give me product fair is fair RELEASE YOUR HOLD ON ME!!!
Anyone who has watched Music Mondays knows my deep hatred for turtlenecks. I think they’re awful and they make everyone look bad. Even hot people can look dumb while wearing turtlenecks and Korea has a major obsession with them. Almost every single actor I thought was hot has somehow ended up in a turtleneck. Where did you neck go? Oh there it is, swallowed up by that sweater that looks like it’s trying to eat your face. I don’t mind the really baggy necked turtleneck sweaters, the kind that has a huge mega wide turtleneck that you could pull over your head like a hoodie but unless you’re about to go skiing in arctic conditions just get a scarf to keep warm.
Hahahahaha I’m not the only one, right? Right? RIGHT!!?? I keep my nails trimmed. When they grow too long and I can feel them when I type on the keyboard, I get itchy. If I grab something off a table and my nails are the first thing that touches the table I blink rapidly. I need to cut my nails immediately. It can’t wait. I’ve bought more nailclippers from all my travels than I have nails on my body. It’s not that I think nails are gross. They’re not unseemly or anything. I just…I don’t know. I hate it I hate it I HATE IT! Apparently Martina’s dad feels the same way so I know I have at least one person on mu side.
This one is sad. I really wish I could love napping. I enjoying sleeping when I’m actually able to sleep (which is rare because EDS makes for bad sleep) but when I’m exhausted and I just need to take a nap, I know I’m going to have to make a payment. The payment is napping away exhaustion in exchange for mega grumpiness. When I wake up after a nap I’m a mean, grumpy, irritable being that needs to be left alone. I’m like a wild animal prowling the house looking for something and waiting to bite someone’s head off. I can acknowledge this and Simon knows not to joke, prod, or ask me complicated questions after a nap, but I hate the feeling of being so grumpy. Does anyone else get the after-nap rage?
There’s nothing inherently wrong with Banana bread. It’s delicious. I’m sure it is. I remember when it used to be delicious. My father made a wonderful loaf of banana bread. He first got into making banana bread when I was 10 years old. Then he made a new loaf every week, for a gotdamn decade. I can’t eat banana bread ever again. Please no. My body has had enough. Banana smoothies are fine. Banana chips are delicious. But make a cake out of it and our friendship is over. OVER.
I’m a huge milk drinker. Love milk of all types and I try it in every country I visit. Don’t give me skim, because that’s water flavoured like milk and doesn’t count. I love my milk steamed and cold, but don’t serve cold milk to me in a coffee mug. I don’t know what it is, but drinking milk from a ceramic mug makes it taste like it’s lukewarm to me, and lukewarm milk is gross. It’s only not gross if it’s straight out of a cow and that’s just fine for me. But cold milk should be served ice cold in a lovely see-though glass. YUM!
So that’s it for our list of weird isms and pet peeves. I’m SO CURIOUS YEAHHHH if you have any pet peeves and isms that are the same as ours or are we total weirdos to you? Also one last thing. Martina would like to mention to you that she can now eat Cheetos and cheese puff things no problem…but she’ll have to wash her hands afterwards.