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WTF – Pooh Sandwich Press

August 17, 2011

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This week’s Wonderful Treasure Find is Pooh Sandwich presses. You can make your sandwich into Pooh! You can eat Pooh for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Pooh toast, pooh sandwich, even a pooh wiper for your spaghetti sauce! Thank you, Korea, for introducing us to better ways of making our food.

For starters, let’s just all come to the consensus that the crusts of sandwiches suck. Sucks! Crusts were invented only for mothers to punish their children. “Eat your crusts, Jimmy, or you get no ice cream!” Sandwiches taste just so much better without crusts. Fact. Do a blind taste test of a sandwich with equal stuffing, only have one with crusts and one without. You’ll be amazed at how much better life is without crusts. *Martina shoves Simon off the computer*…I on the other hand happen to love crust! Simon is just a child. On our honeymoon, he ordered peanut butter sandwiches–with the crust cut off–for room service. COME ON! Why wo—*Simon wafts a coffee cup towards Martina, she runs off* Anyways, crust sucks.

So, this wonderful device has totally come to terms with the realization that crusts do indeed suck, and defies the tyranny of crusted sandwiches. Not to mention, the tyranny of square shaped sandwiches, which are just BOOORING. We’re pretty sure that using this sandwich maker and bringing that sandwich to any public area will instantly cause a doubling of those who want to be friends with you, and a tripling of those who want to date you. Use cautiously. Well, besides sandwiches, it claims to be a cookie cutter, but we think the dough would get all caught up in the pressing part. The pooh shape, yes, you can get that, but man, that’s a big cookie! Unless you want to make a Pookie Ice Cream Sandwich….oh yeah…roll that in some brown chocolate chips…MMmmmMMmmMMmmmm…And if you’re a parent with a skinny child who refuses to eat their lunch, we’re sure that shaping the sandwich in the form of a Pooh bear will vastly improve their desire to eat it, unless they’re Martina, who just wants to stare at the bread lovingly.

I think we’ve pretty much said all that can be said about this awesome device. Time for our Wonderful Treasure Find Care Package of the Month giveaway contest!

This month we’re giving away the Nail Stainers, the Duck Fans, the Soap Flakes, and the Sandwich Press. To win this wonderful package, sent to you with all the love and care in the world, all you have to do is answer our simple question: which animal shape would be most inappropriate for a sandwich press and why? We went on a rant a while ago with our Pedobear Mug how bears are conspiring to eat your children, by pretending to be all cute and snuggly when really they’re vicious murderers. This sandwich press is another example of that conspiracy, and is a totally inappropriate animal for your children to fall in love with. If you can think of another such animal, let us know. We’ll pick the winner next week, and announce them in our Blooper Footage. And on that note, here are some deleted scenes from this week’s video:

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WTF – Pooh Sandwich Press

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  1. a snake sandwhich press, it would waste the most bread. also it wouldn’t even make a sandwhich, it would be more like a breadstick.

    8 years ago
  2. a boy band sandwich press.  noms

    8 years ago
  3. Possibly a turtle cause they look so awkward……LIKE AN AWKWARD TURTLE (saying it like Simon’s “Like a Man”)

    8 years ago
  4. Llamas. Llamas spit, and I don’t want any llama spit in my sandwich. Or cookies. Or giant cookie ice cream sandwiches rolled in chocolate chips. Better to just avoid the shape all together

    8 years ago
  5. A  Kangaroo sandwich press.

    8 years ago
  6. How about a Donkey/Ass sandwich??
    My little cousines would be thrilled!

    8 years ago
  7. A Whale Sandwich… in it’s actual size. MWAHAHAHA!

    8 years ago
  8. which animal shape would be most inappropriate for a sandwich press and why? definitely Bowser. no kid wants to eat a jerk like him. he’s like a dragon turtle or something. 
    and i’m sure Mario would agree :)

    8 years ago
  9. I can see you’re good at imitating seals… But not at imitating Quebec accent! Sorry guys! haha

    8 years ago
  10.  A Opossum sandwich cutter. What better way to show your kids you care by giving them some vicious and ugly animal ^^

    8 years ago
  11.  one that looks like Beetlejuice would keep me from eating sandwiches for eternity

    8 years ago
  12.  one that looks like Beetlejuice would keep me from eating sandwiches for eternity

    8 years ago
  13. Kya

    Drop bears! IE, vicious koala bears. These should definitely not be made cute and cuddly into a sandwich cutter =P

    8 years ago
  14. for inappropriate for a sandwich press cow but i dont know why ! heheh

    8 years ago
  15. I’m thinking an elephant head. Children all over associate them with circuses and cartoons, but imagine if the face didn’t come out right….it would look like… a boy’s pee pee. O.o

    8 years ago
  16. a rooster the combination of the name wouldn’t sound so delicious if you use the right name for a rooster :D

    8 years ago
  17. I think a Dung Beetle would probs make the most inappropriate sandwich. I mean it’s a Dung Beetle, it’s gross enough by itself, but to actually eat it…yum… :

    8 years ago
  18. Anything shaped like a baboon butt would of course be the most innapropriate… But what better way to show your kids you love them?

    8 years ago
  19. To me the most inappropriate animal or bug sandwich/cookie cutter would be…a slug. Now that wouldn’t be an attractive sandwich.

    8 years ago
  20. I think a Proboscis monkey would be inappropriate animal to make as a sandwich press maker.Not only does it sound unappealing.The long nose on it…anyone with an inappropriate mind would find it odd to eat.

    8 years ago
  21. Cockroach Sandwich Press!

    8 years ago
  22. a skunk!! you would 2nd guess eating a skunk sandwich 

    8 years ago
  23. a naked mole-rat, it’s pretty ugly..

    8 years ago
  24. a naked mole-rat, it’s pretty ugly..

    8 years ago
  25. a naked mole-rat, it’s pretty ugly..

    8 years ago
  26. a naked mole-rat, it’s pretty ugly..

    8 years ago
  27. a naked mole-rat, it’s pretty ugly..

    8 years ago
  28. A unicorn sandwich press! Imagine it, your favorite horned companion gets turned into a feast for little children. You’d never want to eat a sandwich again. It sounds about as traumatizing as eating Hello Kitty. 

    8 years ago
  29. I think a snake sandwich press would be pretty inappropriate. I mean, really, you’d waste so much bread. Or a gerbil. A gerbil would be pretty creepy and wrong.

    8 years ago
  30. Hmmm I guess I’d have to say a bald eagle. When will you ever get the chance to bite into one of those bad boys? Plus what’s more american than taking a big bit out of your national, endangered, bird!

    8 years ago
  31. a gecko~~ preferably suffering from exophthalmos =)
    totally inappropriate!!!

    8 years ago
  32. A blue whale.. ‘Cause 1. you shouldn’t kill whales so you shouldn’t eat them. 2. you would need WAY too many sandwiches to make a blue whale sandwich! O__O

    8 years ago
  33. A WIENER DOG sandwich..
    It long, big and.. hairy…
    And, it ironically has the name “wiener”
    The thought innocent children happily eating it and messed up teens laughing at it…. O_O

    8 years ago
  34. an elephant!

    8 years ago
  35. A cow! Would you want to eat their udders? Especially if they looked like this -> http://i1002.photobucket.com/albums/af141/iFireflies/cow.jpg.
    innocent children eating dangle-y, round things. tsk, tsk. their childhood is forever ruined.

    8 years ago
  36. A platypus would be very inappropriate

    8 years ago
  37. A platypus would be very inappropriate ^______________________^

    8 years ago
  38. Ah! The tripod fish (this thing… http://www.glogster.com/media/5/35/73/29/35732902.jpg) I mean, really. Wouldn’t that just be creepy?

    8 years ago
  39. A shark’s mouth, like it’s gonna bite your head off, because man would that be a waste of bread! (like only the teeth would be made out of bread heheh)

    8 years ago
  40. a jellyfish! :D now that would be really weird… you’d have the round top and then all the dangly legs on the bottom… if you try to toast it all the legs would probably fall off and catch fire. so, not very appropriate.
    …well, then again, you could put peanut butter on it and call it a peanut butter and jellie sandwich. :D …ah, wait. never mind >___> lol

    8 years ago