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WTF – Pooh Sandwich Press

August 17, 2011

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This week’s Wonderful Treasure Find is Pooh Sandwich presses. You can make your sandwich into Pooh! You can eat Pooh for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Pooh toast, pooh sandwich, even a pooh wiper for your spaghetti sauce! Thank you, Korea, for introducing us to better ways of making our food.

For starters, let’s just all come to the consensus that the crusts of sandwiches suck. Sucks! Crusts were invented only for mothers to punish their children. “Eat your crusts, Jimmy, or you get no ice cream!” Sandwiches taste just so much better without crusts. Fact. Do a blind taste test of a sandwich with equal stuffing, only have one with crusts and one without. You’ll be amazed at how much better life is without crusts. *Martina shoves Simon off the computer*…I on the other hand happen to love crust! Simon is just a child. On our honeymoon, he ordered peanut butter sandwiches–with the crust cut off–for room service. COME ON! Why wo—*Simon wafts a coffee cup towards Martina, she runs off* Anyways, crust sucks.

So, this wonderful device has totally come to terms with the realization that crusts do indeed suck, and defies the tyranny of crusted sandwiches. Not to mention, the tyranny of square shaped sandwiches, which are just BOOORING. We’re pretty sure that using this sandwich maker and bringing that sandwich to any public area will instantly cause a doubling of those who want to be friends with you, and a tripling of those who want to date you. Use cautiously. Well, besides sandwiches, it claims to be a cookie cutter, but we think the dough would get all caught up in the pressing part. The pooh shape, yes, you can get that, but man, that’s a big cookie! Unless you want to make a Pookie Ice Cream Sandwich….oh yeah…roll that in some brown chocolate chips…MMmmmMMmmMMmmmm…And if you’re a parent with a skinny child who refuses to eat their lunch, we’re sure that shaping the sandwich in the form of a Pooh bear will vastly improve their desire to eat it, unless they’re Martina, who just wants to stare at the bread lovingly.

I think we’ve pretty much said all that can be said about this awesome device. Time for our Wonderful Treasure Find Care Package of the Month giveaway contest!

This month we’re giving away the Nail Stainers, the Duck Fans, the Soap Flakes, and the Sandwich Press. To win this wonderful package, sent to you with all the love and care in the world, all you have to do is answer our simple question: which animal shape would be most inappropriate for a sandwich press and why? We went on a rant a while ago with our Pedobear Mug how bears are conspiring to eat your children, by pretending to be all cute and snuggly when really they’re vicious murderers. This sandwich press is another example of that conspiracy, and is a totally inappropriate animal for your children to fall in love with. If you can think of another such animal, let us know. We’ll pick the winner next week, and announce them in our Blooper Footage. And on that note, here are some deleted scenes from this week’s video:

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WTF – Pooh Sandwich Press

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  1. A slug sandwich. Besides being slimy and gross in real life, your sandwich press would form the bread into a long turd. I mean, have you seen a cute slug before? NO YOU HAVEN’T.

    8 years ago
  2. I would have to say the blobfish. The fact that it has “blob” in its name says a lot about its attractiveness, or lack thereof. Seriously. If Disney started doing anthropomorphic horror movies, this guy would probably end up as the villain’s blobby henchman, at least. In all fairness, that poor fish never had a chance. I mean, it does inhabit the waters of Australia, Land of Horrifying Beasts.

    8 years ago
    • That awkward moment when you find your younger sister commenting on something online. Hi! Back on topic, I think an ant-eater would be the most inappropriate for reasons self-explanatory.. 

      8 years ago
  3. I would have to say the blobfish. The fact that it has “blob” in its name says a lot about its attractiveness, or lack thereof. Seriously. If Disney started doing anthropomorphic horror movies, this guy would probably end up as the villain’s blobby henchman, at least. In all fairness, that poor fish never had a chance. I mean, it does inhabit the waters of Australia, Land of Horrifying Beasts.

    8 years ago
  4. I think panda bears. They look so cuddly and lovable. And their face a really innocent. Every time I see a panda (animal, picture and stuffed toys) I really want to hug them and own one. They the most friendly bears out there. Seriously I could never eat anything that has panda on it. If I have a sandwich press with panda on it. My younger cousins would kill me. They also love pandas. :)

    8 years ago
  5. I’m going to have to go with the fennec fox. I mean, plenty of other animals and foxes are cute, but, really, how could you eat anything that looked remotely like it knowing that you’re crushing it with your dull human teeth and then sending it down to be slowly melted by acidic liquids?

    8 years ago
  6. Hahaaa Martina, the way you said “sandwich” was TOTALLY Québécois! I laughed a lot but I was just really glad to hear you say Quebec, yeah! There’s a lot of fans of eatyourkimchi here and we love you guys!

    And I would really like sandwiches more if they were pooh sandwiches hahaa~~
    As for the most inappropriate one… FOR ME it would be a rabbit ’cause they’re creepy O_O. But I must be the only one thinking that so yeah! XD

    8 years ago
  7. Hahaaa Martina, the way you said “sandwich” was TOTALLY Québécois! I laughed a lot but I was just really glad to hear you say Quebec, yeah! There’s a lot of fans of eatyourkimchi here and we love you guys!

    And I would really like sandwiches more if they were pooh sandwiches hahaa~~
    As for the most inappropriate one… FOR ME it would be a rabbit ’cause they’re creepy O_O. But I must be the only one thinking that so yeah! XD

    8 years ago
  8. love your desktop backround! what is it? :D

    8 years ago
  9. i think that probably the most inappropriate sandwich cutout press maker whatever you call it would be a cow i mean the face would be fine but the body would be awkward because of the utter i mean imagine taking a bite out of that that seems really nasty :P. Thinking about it makes me get goosebumps and also india would be highly offended cause cows are sacred O__O

    8 years ago
  10. Baa

    which animal shape would be most inappropriate for a sandwich press and why?
    David Hasselhoff.
    Because it is David Hasselhoff.

    8 years ago
  11. I think a pig (mmmm…delicious bacon) would be a very inappropriate
    animal for a sandwich press maker. Specially if you are vegetarian. It
    reminds you of what you can’t have. bwahahahaha. that is so mean.

    8 years ago
  12. I think a pig (mmmm…delicious bacon) would be a very inappropriate
    animal for a sandwich press maker. Specially if you are vegetarian. It
    reminds you of what you can’t have. bwahahahaha. that is so mean.

    8 years ago
  13. A gorilla would be the worst. We supposedly evolve from them so…it would be like having a CANABLE SANDWICH

    8 years ago
  14. I think a gorilla would be pretty inappropriate. We did evolve from them. It would be like being a CANABLE!

    8 years ago
  15. i think a monkey,camel or a penguin! because your eating an awkward/weird/cute animal! xD

    8 years ago
  16. My first choice would be a Blobfish. Who would wanna eat something that ugly staring you in the face? Or a Proboscis Monkey for the same reason. Though I would totally buy a Proboscis sandwich maker.

    8 years ago
  17. I think a Dik Dik would be totally inappropriate or a Sphynx cat.

    8 years ago
  18. a sea cucumber. it’d be so gross and weird and the children will have no idea what its suppose to be. haha

    8 years ago
  19. I think a human sandwich would be inappropriate (hey, we’re animals too!) And that would make you a cannibal. Or even worse, how about a “Human Centipede” sandwich? No further comment…

    Actually I do have one more comment, why haven’t I followed you guise on teh Twitter all this time? *DERP*

    8 years ago
  20. An elephant, i just put down the first animal that popped into my head ;D

    8 years ago
  21. Star-Nosed Mole only its head the body is to big
    i mean if you really look at it youll see what i see

    8 years ago
  22. Star-Nosed Mole only its head the body is to big
    i mean if you really look at it youll see what i see

    8 years ago
  23. A Sloth. Haha

    8 years ago
  24. A Sloth. Haha

    8 years ago
  25. Honestly I would say a person, humans are animals too. Letting kids eat sandwich cut-outs of other animals isn’t that horrible because hey most kids eat meat anyways their food just looks a bit cuter then normal. Now a person food cutter-out thing would teach your children cannibalism is a-okay (which it really isn’t).

    8 years ago
  26. I think pig-shaped sandwiches would be a little unsettling. Like, imagine giving your child a pig-shaped ham sandwich. “Hooray, I love little pigs! Hey, where does ham come from?” 

    AWKWARD.

    8 years ago
  27. a cockroach 

    8 years ago
  28. I go for mantodeas (also called mantises) And I have several reasons: First: Since Kung Fu Panda we all do know that they are Kung Fu Masters, so your sandwich will kick your face as soon as you want to take a bite. Second (this is even more dangerous) …. well you know guys what mantodeas ladies do with their partners after… well you know what. Yes! They kill them (not blowing up like the ladies from 2ne1 are doing it, as we learnt from last MusikModay, but they eat them…. ) so imagine: “THE sandwich – you eat it and it will eat you!” And 3rd: They are just too skinny and they have huge eyes compared to the rest of their bodies…. so: What a waste!
    I hope this is convincing. Since I am a big fan of toast I completely felt in love with this po-….. sandwich former! 

    8 years ago
  29. A cute Koala Bear

    8 years ago
  30. Tarsier monkey, for sure.  Have you ever seen a picture of one of those animals?  I wouldn’t be able to eat any bread in that shape!

    8 years ago
  31. Tarsier monkey, for sure.  Have you ever seen a picture of one of those animals?  I wouldn’t be able to eat any bread in that shape!

    8 years ago
  32. Tarsier monkey, for sure.  Have you ever seen a picture of one of those animals?  I wouldn’t be able to eat any bread in that shape!

    8 years ago
  33. Tarsier monkey, for sure.  Have you ever seen a picture of one of those animals?  I wouldn’t be able to eat any bread in that shape!

    8 years ago
  34. Tarsier monkey, for sure.  Have you ever seen a picture of one of those animals?  I wouldn’t be able to eat any bread in that shape!

    8 years ago
  35. Tarsier monkey, for sure.  Have you ever seen a picture of one of those animals?  I wouldn’t be able to eat any bread in that shape!

    8 years ago
  36. …apparently there’s no “delete” button.

    8 years ago
  37. i think an octopus,because the octopus have to many tentacles and the kids won’t eat that. 

    8 years ago
  38. porcupine sandwich press of DOOM! seriously, it’d be like the iron maiden of sandwich presses…talk about traumatizing….

    8 years ago
    • sorry guise! the above comment was by me…i was posting from my sis’s computer and it automatically logged her in…oopsie doopsies. 

      8 years ago
  39. satans booger sandwich

    8 years ago
  40. A sea cucumber. They look like oversized slugs, and they kind of just ooze around everywhere. And apparently, according to Wikipedia, they can eject their internal organs at will as defense. Who would want a sandwich like that? Not me! D:

    8 years ago