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WTF – Pooh Sandwich Press

August 17, 2011

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This week’s Wonderful Treasure Find is Pooh Sandwich presses. You can make your sandwich into Pooh! You can eat Pooh for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Pooh toast, pooh sandwich, even a pooh wiper for your spaghetti sauce! Thank you, Korea, for introducing us to better ways of making our food.

For starters, let’s just all come to the consensus that the crusts of sandwiches suck. Sucks! Crusts were invented only for mothers to punish their children. “Eat your crusts, Jimmy, or you get no ice cream!” Sandwiches taste just so much better without crusts. Fact. Do a blind taste test of a sandwich with equal stuffing, only have one with crusts and one without. You’ll be amazed at how much better life is without crusts. *Martina shoves Simon off the computer*…I on the other hand happen to love crust! Simon is just a child. On our honeymoon, he ordered peanut butter sandwiches–with the crust cut off–for room service. COME ON! Why wo—*Simon wafts a coffee cup towards Martina, she runs off* Anyways, crust sucks.

So, this wonderful device has totally come to terms with the realization that crusts do indeed suck, and defies the tyranny of crusted sandwiches. Not to mention, the tyranny of square shaped sandwiches, which are just BOOORING. We’re pretty sure that using this sandwich maker and bringing that sandwich to any public area will instantly cause a doubling of those who want to be friends with you, and a tripling of those who want to date you. Use cautiously. Well, besides sandwiches, it claims to be a cookie cutter, but we think the dough would get all caught up in the pressing part. The pooh shape, yes, you can get that, but man, that’s a big cookie! Unless you want to make a Pookie Ice Cream Sandwich….oh yeah…roll that in some brown chocolate chips…MMmmmMMmmMMmmmm…And if you’re a parent with a skinny child who refuses to eat their lunch, we’re sure that shaping the sandwich in the form of a Pooh bear will vastly improve their desire to eat it, unless they’re Martina, who just wants to stare at the bread lovingly.

I think we’ve pretty much said all that can be said about this awesome device. Time for our Wonderful Treasure Find Care Package of the Month giveaway contest!

This month we’re giving away the Nail Stainers, the Duck Fans, the Soap Flakes, and the Sandwich Press. To win this wonderful package, sent to you with all the love and care in the world, all you have to do is answer our simple question: which animal shape would be most inappropriate for a sandwich press and why? We went on a rant a while ago with our Pedobear Mug how bears are conspiring to eat your children, by pretending to be all cute and snuggly when really they’re vicious murderers. This sandwich press is another example of that conspiracy, and is a totally inappropriate animal for your children to fall in love with. If you can think of another such animal, let us know. We’ll pick the winner next week, and announce them in our Blooper Footage. And on that note, here are some deleted scenes from this week’s video:

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WTF – Pooh Sandwich Press

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  1. A tapir. There’s something confusingly disturbing about consuming an edible bread print of a tapir.

    8 years ago
  2. i love you guys!!!

    8 years ago
  3. I would, in a most juvenile manner, pair a donkey sandwich with the Pooh sandwich.  This would be to reunite the creation (Pooh) with the creator (A**).  Hooray for low brow COMEDY!

    8 years ago
  4. A flatfish because the eyes of the fish are asymmetrical and creepy. So when a kid gets their sandwich all they will see are the “eyes” staring back at them in an extremely creepy manner, the kid will be too horrified/traumatized to eat the sandwich or go to an aquarium.

    8 years ago
  5. An anteater. It just looks wrong.

    8 years ago
  6. a Simon sandwish. from hyuna – bubble pop musical mondays… that was freakin scary, dude. 

    8 years ago
  7. Top’s face, because who would eat TOP??

    8 years ago
  8. A Heffalump because Pooh and his friends would be traumatized to see Lumpy eaten.

    8 years ago
  9. I think the most inappropriate would be leech. Imagine there’s strawberry jam on it, it just like, omg the leech suck my blood!

    8 years ago
  10. In my opinion, the most inappropriate animal to be made into a sandwich is a Proboscis monkey. I think if you saw a picture of this animals face you might understand why I wouldn’t feel comfortable eating a sandwich shaped like it…

    8 years ago
  11. In my opinion, the most inappropriate animal to be made into a sandwich is a Proboscis monkey. I think if you saw a picture of this animals face you might understand why I wouldn’t feel comfortable eating a sandwich shaped like it…

    8 years ago
  12. In my opinion, the most inappropriate animal to be made into a sandwich is a Proboscis monkey. I think if you saw a picture of this animals face you might understand why I wouldn’t feel comfortable eating a sandwich shaped like it…

    8 years ago
  13. I think the most inappropriate would be a mouse, now they can be all cute and fun as pets, but in reality wild mice are really gross. they chew up all your food and clothes. they leave about a zillion little poo pellets everywhere, and make nests to have their babies in the back of your drawers. not to mention they were kinda the reason for the spread of the black plague. Very icky, and not good. potentially very cute, but not realistic at all.

    8 years ago
  14. I think the most inappropriate would be a mouse, now they can be all cute and fun as pets, but in reality wild mice are really gross. they chew up all your food and clothes. they leave about a zillion little poo pellets everywhere, and make nests to have their babies in the back of your drawers. not to mention they were kinda the reason for the spread of the black plague. Very icky, and not good. potentially very cute, but not realistic at all.

    8 years ago
  15. I think the most inappropriate would be a mouse, now they can be all cute and fun as pets, but in reality wild mice are really gross. they chew up all your food and clothes. they leave about a zillion little poo pellets everywhere, and make nests to have their babies in the back of your drawers. not to mention they were kinda the reason for the spread of the black plague. Very icky, and not good. potentially very cute, but not realistic at all.

    8 years ago
  16. I think the most inappropriate would be a mouse, now they can be all cute and fun as pets, but in reality wild mice are really gross. they chew up all your food and clothes. they leave about a zillion little poo pellets everywhere, and make nests to have their babies in the back of your drawers. not to mention they were kinda the reason for the spread of the black plague. Very icky, and not good. potentially very cute, but not realistic at all.

    8 years ago
  17. Barney the Dinosaur.  Admittedly old school, but what’s up with a dancing, giggling dinosaur who sings to children of his love?

    8 years ago
  18. Definitely a monkey…. It would kiss, touch, rub and eat all of your bananas :D

    8 years ago
  19. Actually, I think that a baby seal would be the most inappropriate shape for this reason:

    Martina: Hey  Simon What are you eating?

    Simon: A baby seal Club sandwich! Muhahahahahahhaaha

    Martina: D: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

    8 years ago
  20. I think a rooster would make for an inappropriate sandwich press – “Would you like some meat on your cock sandwich? Ladies~” I can think of so many more inappropriate phrases for this.

    8 years ago
  21. a Komondor Dog… Hairy sandwich, anyone?

    8 years ago
  22. a Komondor Dog… Hairy sandwich, anyone?

    8 years ago
  23. a Komondor Dog… Hairy sandwich, anyone?

    8 years ago
  24. a Komondor Dog… Hairy sandwich, anyone?

    8 years ago
  25. a Komondor Dog… Hairy sandwich, anyone?

    8 years ago
  26. a Komondor Dog… Hairy sandwich, anyone?

    8 years ago
  27. a Komondor Dog… Hairy sandwich, anyone?

    8 years ago
  28. fangtooth fish cause i find them extrealmy scary so would u :=0

    8 years ago
  29. I think a Angler fish would be shape would be most inappropriate for a sandwich press all those teeth that would be scary and a waste of bread.

    8 years ago
  30. Dogs. Most families have dogs as pets. Imagine the kids eating sandwiches in shapes of their pets.

    8 years ago
  31. *.*

    Pikachu!

    8 years ago
  32. i know a cartoon that is really cute but inappropriate for sandwich;-)) it call “Mono Mini” “happy tree friends” omg!!! they are really adorable but can’t eat them ;-) i guess that is how i understand  your question ;-/ mmm… guys am i right?!?!?

    8 years ago
  33. I think having a hammerhead shark-shaped sandwich would be creepy, because the head is literally like O________O 

    8 years ago
  34. i say there’s a tie between the  Giant IsopodAye-aye and the 

    8 years ago
  35. the mother alien from the movie alien vs. predator

    8 years ago
  36. Absolem the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland cuz he smokes and you know that’s inappropriate for lil’ kids

    8 years ago
  37. Imma gonna go with…..hmmmm…..a jellyfish….even if all the tentacles are cut up/separated it would be a bit tedious and traumatizing for younger ones/ones with no patience to fix as a  sandwich…not to mention it would look a lot like this C=

    8 years ago
  38. Ostrich! 

    8 years ago
  39. Hello ^^ Martina and Simon….. *cough cough* I mean Simon and Martina oops my bad Simon…. but your  welcome Martina :) tehe.
    To answer you question in the most possible way (for me) is hard to actually answer :P, no offense. Personally for me right away I thought a Mr.Pedo Bear sandwich press!! Mr. Pedo Bear is always inappropriate, but then I thought Is it even a animal? Then finally I came to a conclusion the sandwich press would be a Mr. Pedo Bear! (I expand my creativity further! But I still hope it is in the guide lines?) Mr.Pedo Bear would be full body with his arms up (like in the bear position *RAWRR!!*) which would traumatize children in itself. Mr. Pedo bear would also be inappropriate because while toasting it because Mr.Pedo bear has small RAWR* arms if you burn it they will fall right off and make Mr.Pedo bear into a Zombie!! That would be even more traumatizing for not only children but for everyone
    (and Martina too).
    Thank you for reading (or not reading) this HUUGGEE comment. Sorry if I hurt your eyes :S hehe.

    8 years ago
  40. A slug sandwich. Besides being slimy and gross in real life, your sandwich press would form the bread into a long turd. I mean, have you seen a cute slug before? NO YOU HAVEN’T.

    8 years ago