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Speaker’s Corner: Adultery in Korea

March 16, 2015

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So, this topic has been getting a lot of attention. We just posted our TL;DR on Adultery Legal in South Korea and it got the most views for a TL;DR in a week, like, ever. But that was just our thoughts on the matter.

We asked the beautiful and intelligent customers at You Are Here Cafe to let us know what they thought on the matter. Honestly we weren’t sure if people would answer the question since it’s a lot to think about and express in under two minutes, but we were surprised by the amount of people responding. We love asking controversial topics in the YAH video booth because we want to hear what other people think about the topics we’re discussing at the EYK Studio. It turns out we’re all pretty much on the same page with the topic! I’m wondering if we can ask something that will cause total polar opposite reactions to occur from our foreign and Korean customers…hhrrrm…

Funny side note as well: Soo Zee looks over the video before we publish it to make sure that there aren’t any typos in the captions, and she just about jumped out of her skin when she saw the thumbnail. It’s actually one of Soo Zee’s old friends from school! But we’re not sure if she knows about Soo Zee’s connection with the coffee shop. Small world, eh?

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Speaker’s Corner: Adultery in Korea

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  1. Ang

    i’ve always hated cheaters especially married people. however, it’s not government’s role to police affairs of the heart. I’m glad korea has finally joined the free world in de-criminalizing cheating.

    5 years ago
  2. Since Korea is so conservative, I’m thinking affairs are more likely to happen than divorce, which is pretty sad for the victims.

    5 years ago
  3. Haha they were all like blushing but so honest!! Haha love u simon and Martina and I hope to see u in the future!!

    5 years ago
  4. First time commenter here.
    I’ve always been a huge fan of your videos, especially your FAPFAPs. I’m not able to visit Korea very often and miss the food there quite a bit. So, honestly thank you for allowing me to live vicariously through your videos.
    This topic has raised up quite a bit of an uproar, which isn’t necessarily an unfortunate thing. On the contrary, it’s fascinating to hear different arguments for and against “legalized” adultery in Korea.
    But, I just wanted to point something out that I found a bit hurtful and rather ignorant in the video.
    Please, please note I am not trying to come across as hateful in any way.

    But, the question where you asked “How many affairs do you plan on having now?” was truly hurtful in a manner that shed a sort of light that indicated that “now that this law was abolished, Koreans will now be having affairs left and right.”
    I know and understand that this was most likely not your original intention and it might’ve been meant as light-hearted humor instead.
    But, Simon and Martina, and to whomever else is reading this, it was quite offensive to hear that even in a jokey sort of manner, especially as a Korean who’s family was torn apart due to an affair.
    Again, please don’t misunderstand, I am not here to spread hate or anything of that sort.
    Perhaps, you’ll see me as overreacting.
    But, as a frequent and avid viewer of your videos, I do want to be honest and it did truly hurt to see that this question was posed at all.
    Could you please, please ensure that this does not happen again?
    Thank you EYK~~

    5 years ago
    • I’m really sorry that such a big issue like this happened to you :(. It’s horrible to see how someone’s actions can tear apart a family :(. I know how you must feel hearing about it kind of like a ping in your heart just bringing up those feeling :(. I know that Simon and Martina did not mean it in a hurtful way at all, like you said, but it was a joke. I don’t think they meant to say Koreans will be having all kinds of affairs but just kind of a joking question after such a serious topic. I think with all jokes we kind of have to take ourselves out of the equation, because it’s not meant for anything personal. Its like a historical fiction book, you can’t read it for fact based history, because that’s not what it’s meant for. Im sorry it hurt your feelings :( but many times in life we will just have to remind ourselves they are just joking, and that that’s okay.

      5 years ago
      • Wow! Blimey! I! Had! No! Idea! They! Were! Joking! Thank! You! For! Pointing! That! Out! Oh! Wise! One!

        I wasn’t going to reply to this. But, honestly this is ridiculous, I mean it is pretty fairly obvious.

        But, allow me help you out since you so willfully ignored it in the first place.

        That response was not intended for you.

        Do you understand that?

        Is that comprehensible to you?

        My response was not intended for you to peruse, take apart, and criticize.

        Honestly, what were you expecting?

        Am I supposed to thank you for your numerous unhappy faces and quite frankly, redundant “apologies”?

        To address your “I think with all jokes we kind of have to take ourselves out of the equation, because it’s not meant for anything personal… and that’s okay”

        Do you truly think I’m unaware of that?

        Believe me like all human beings, I do love a good laugh now and again.

        And, I know Simon and Martina are good people.

        But, that does not and cannot excuse the blatant disrespect that some Koreans felt due to the question, “How many affairs do you plan on having now?” whilst watching the video.

        That question was not a joke.

        It might have been originally intended as one.

        But, making a ‘joke’ at another’s expense is, in the end, not a bloody joke.

        Are you Korean?

        Are you Simon or Martina?

        Judging by your display picture, I can see that you might not be.

        So, what’s the moral of this little soliloquy?

        My previous response was not for you.

        It was not for you to patronize and dish out whatever unfortunately ignorant comments you decided was justified for my response.

        That question was not okay.

        And, like with every person who has a following this large, Simon and Martina has an obligation to their fans to ensure that some of their material doesn’t come across as offensive.

        We also have the responsibility to speak honestly to EYK, whether it be congratulating them on their accomplishments or pointing out some errors.

        Sure, it probably was a joke. It might’ve been an attempt at some light-hearted humor.

        But, it does not matter what the original motive might have been.

        That does not in any way negate the hurt that some of us experienced when we heard the question.

        If the end result is seen as this offensive and appallingly disrespectful, it is no longer a joke.

        It is a laugh at another’s expense.

        Thank you.

        5 years ago
        • jicr966 I find it interesting how you ask for respect from simon and martina about the sensitivity of the issue yet you do not respect the people here on the board by replying with a sacrastic and rude demeanor to a person who tried to explain her side of how she felt simon and martina were coming from. That being said if you have a problem with some of the things that S/M have said but become defensive and rude when someone else gives you a a response, which I felt was fairly courteous, maybe you should send simon and martina a private message so that problem does not happen again. If you post it on a forum people will respond, thats what a forum is, if you don’t like it, like I previously stated send them a private message so you don’t get unwanted responses. The question they posed may or may not have been ok for them to say but if you ask for respect you must also give it. Also as I may respond to your post, I feel that you statement “But, the question where you asked “How many affairs do you plan on having now?” was truly hurtful in a manner that shed a sort of light that indicated that “now that this law was abolished, Koreans will now be having affairs left and right.”” is quite a stretch and a fallacy based off false assumptions. I understand that this has been a hurtful comment for you but you took what they said and totally fit it to mean something it did not. just my two cents.

          5 years ago
        • Sorry if I hurt your feelings, I didn’t mean to make you upset just trying to show another view point :) we can just agree to disagree on this one!

          5 years ago
  5. Funny the ‘half your asset’ remark. In the US even with no fault divorce assets are typically split down the middle. I think women are at a disadvantage. If they stayed home trying to get back into the workforce in Korea is very different than the US. The income difference in korea by gender is very wide. The man still comes out ahead losing half his assets.

    5 years ago
  6. I have two very important questions!! Where do you keep that giant thing for your mics in public and what editor do yo use, Thanks <3

    5 years ago
  7. Definitely agree that the government shouldn’t watch over things like that. But its sad that it will affect divorce in the future. Marriage is a trusting partnership, if you aren’t prepared to be loyal don’t get married!!! And I totally agree with you Yeobomg, if your are in a loving relationship with someone and you do cheat you lose that trust, and thats a huge punishment and as they say… Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn. I’m sure there is a phrase for men also, or you could just listen to a country song from the US. :)

    5 years ago
  8. asexuality represent!

    5 years ago
  9. I think it is a personal matter, and that it should not be a law. Although, in regards to divorce proceedings I think the matter of cheating should be brought into it. Personally though, on the topic of cheating, I do not think that people should say “you shouldn’t cheat” or “don’t do it” because it is really up to the individual.

    What really bothers me is the fact that people have to admonish others for cheating, or have agreements for not cheating. I think that if a person cheats on his or her significant other, or needs to have like a contract to guarantee monogamy, then they should break up. If you love your significant other then you should not have thoughts of cheating at all, or of betrayal in general. On the other hand, if you are poly amorous, then that’s a different story but trust, honesty, and openness are still very important.

    I have a friend who was in a relationship and she started having thoughts of cheating, so she took that as a sign that she was unhappy in her relationship and left it before she did something that she regretted. For me, I’m in a relationship as well and I cannot even imagine cheating on my boyfriend because I love him so much. The thought of someone, who I do not love, touching me also makes me feel disgusted. My boyfriend and I, we don’t need an agreement, or to tell each other not to, because we love each other deeply and there is just so much trust there.

    5 years ago
  10. I’m in the cafe every Thursday, and this is the first topic I really wanted to film a response to, but I’m too shy and I chickened out, so I’ll just write my response here.

    I think it’s good that it has been decriminalized simply because I don’t think it’s the government’s place to intervene. Couples need to be responsible on their own. I would never cheat on my husband because #1, I hate cheaters and #2, my husband and I have a mutual agreement to remain monogamous. If either one of us ever broke that agreement, it would be a breach of the other’s trust and relationships generally tends to shrivel up and die when trust is lost over such a fundamental issue. That’s usually punishment enough.

    Also, some relationships are mutually poly-amorous, which to some people seems like adultery, but if everyone involved is okay with it, then that’s fine, too.

    5 years ago
    • Aww! You should have responded in a video. Your answer is great here. Would have been great on video too, I’m sure. Maybe you’ll answer this week’s topic? Yeah? YEAH!

      5 years ago
      • Yeah! I totally did it. But i was so nervous (it’s just a camera why am i nervous? I don’t know! Haha) so it’s probably a lot of rambling.

        But this week’s topic is really good, and so hard to talk about in under 2 minutes..

        5 years ago