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Tips for a Happy Marriage

June 16, 2015

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Happy Anniversary to us! It is now our 8 year wedding anniversary! Yes, eight whole years we’ve been married. We were engaged for a year and three months before that, were dating for a year before that, so altogether we’ve been together for over 10 years now! Amazing, isn’t it? I know it’s more amazing to some of you than others, because a lot of people thought that we were just friends and that I was gay. We read that a lot a while ago. Oddly, they don’t say that anymore with my beard. I wonder why? Who knows. Though, I did read a hilarious comment on YouTube a few weeks ago that went something along the lines of “I just discovered your channel, and I love your videos! The chemistry you two have together is so amazing! Every girl deserves a gay bestie!” We both chortled :D

Yep. Eight whole years of being married, and we’re happier together now than we were after our first year. We’re happier together now than we’ve ever been. I don’t know how we can keep going like this. It’s unsustainable. Given this growth rate, eight years from now all we’ll do is laugh and hug and not have time to eat or do anything else, and we’ll die of starvation. This is Global Warming on a whole new level.

That reminds me: I remember when we were in Singapore for some special event, I went out to get drinks for Martina and I in the middle of a show, because the drinks were free and nothing tastes better than free food. I saw three older dudes in their mid 40s who started a small conversation with me as my drinks were being poured. I told them that one of the drinks was for my wife, and they asked how long we were married for. Then they said “pfft! Wait till you’re on year 7! You’ll get the 7 year itch and then you’ll find someone else! Ain’t that right fellas?” And the other dudes all high fived and agreed with each other. Well, guess what, you bitter fucks? YOU WERE WRONG!

But these guys aren’t the only ones that have spoken to me thusly. I didn’t grow up with positive examples of marriage, from my families and friends around me, along with what I’d see on television. Their perspective is a common one. So, I would like to be able to think of our relationship as a positive example for marriages, a rebuttal for bad relationship standards. I’d like people to see the two of us together for over a decade, still madly in love with each other, in a happy and healthy relationship, and I’d like that to be a counterargument to some of the unhappier marriages out there.

I think, though, that our concept of marriage and what keeps us happily married is very different than what we’ve seen in other people’s relationships. To some, marriage is a status that they’ve achieved, and once that goal has been unlocked they go on living their lives in pursuit of other goals and put their trophy on a shelf. Marriage isn’t something that’s worked at consistently, it’s just something worked towards and then moved beyond. But in the rest of their lives people will bust ass in their jobs and do their best to keep their bosses happy. They’ll try to get a promotion and more money and respect and more money and awards and more money. Why not put in that kind of work for your manager at home? Why are people’s work ethics so heavily tipped towards their careers rather than their homes?

We’re very career oriented people; it’s just that marriage is our career. Everything else is periphery. People take extra courses and get certificates for their careers, but for us, all other training we do is to try to be better at our jobs as spouses. I took a foot massage course to try to help Martina go to sleep better. I’m training at the gym now a lot harder than ever before in hopes that I can be strong enough to help Martina with whatever mobility issues she may have in the future. Martina’s vision isn’t doing too well, and she’s having increasing trouble putting on makeup in the mirror, so we discussed the possibility of my taking a makeup course so I can help her out when she needs it.

You know, the more we talked about this topic, the more it seems like this advice could apply not just to marriages, but to being a better employee, because all the language we’ve used sounds like career terminology. And taking this idea one step further, I think it all just boils down to motivation and work ethic. It’s really difficult for us to sit around and do nothing, to be lazy. We had friends that would call us on the weekends and tell us that they were bored. BORED? How can you be bored?! There are so many things you can be doing! So many things you can be learning! So, for us, we’re both people that put in a lot of effort in everything we do. We busted ass at our jobs in high school, even though we knew we weren’t going to work at the mall forever. We busted ass in university. We’re busting ass (or trying to bust ass) with making videos. And we bust ass in our relationship as well.

If you’re in a relationship with someone now, once you’re done reading this, go out of your way and bust ass for them. Go give them a massage. Make them a sandwich. Help them with their project at school. Pick them up from work with flowers. Do whatever you think you can do to see that person smile, to make their day better. And, hopefully, once you see them smile, or laugh, or even cry (good cries not bad cries), you’ll feel a happiness in yourself for doing so.

And though I do know that this whole posts sounds rather forceful, I’m not bullheaded, and so I’d love to hear other people’s ideas about marriages and relationships. We do know that not everybody has the same ideals in a relationship that we have, and that different cultures and circumstances dictate different approaches towards relationships and marriages. We’d love to hear how, if you’d like to talk about it. Though, we just published this video on morning of our anniversary, and now we’re gonna go celebrate for the rest of the day, so it might take a while for us to respond.

Ok, I’ll stop being serious now. The day that we filmed this video, we also walked around with Yewon, who’s new to the Eatyourkimchi Team, and had her take pictures of us in our natural, snuggly state. We realized that we don’t have many pictures of us like this online, because there’s only so much you can do when one hand is holding a camera. So, here’s us being sweet and cute. GET YOUR VOMIT BAGS READY!

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Tips for a Happy Marriage

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  1. First thing, I can’t believe Simon used the word “thusly” in a blog post. Gettin’ fancy n’ shit.
    So basically, ask not what your spouse can do for you, but what you can do for your spouse?

    I think that’s great advice. But the more essential thing is that you are both on the same page with that. You both believe in working really hard and have a lot of empathy for each other. Where people run into trouble is when their relationship work ethic doesn’t align and they don’t have that mutual empathy. If we were using chemistry terms, you guys have a covalent bond, and a lot of other people have ionic bonds.

    The truth is, it’s important that people find someone who matches them in those areas, but culture and media don’t ever emphasize it! Sure Martina and Simon work really hard, but it you’re a lazy ass in every other area of your life, find another lazy ass like you who doesn’t sweat it if you don’t always make that kind of effort! If you love a lazy person, then either set your expectations to what you think can reasonably be expected from such a lazy ass, or let them go. Otherwise it’s just a constant struggle to live up to expectations that are contrary to your or their actual personality, and that breeds resentment.

    Culture tells us to just find someone who meets societal expectations. Media tells us that we deserve a fantasy that gives and gives without any expectation of return. They show characters receiving empathy, but not returning it. Or it tells us that showing empathy will ALWAYS be deeply appreciated, and that’s just not true. Having said that, there have been some really great movies that address this. Did you ever see the movie “The Breakup”? I remember when that came out people found it very uncomfortable because the big breakup scene where she says something like, “I want you to WANT to do the dishes!” and he genuinely doesn’t understand what she means by that, hit a little too close to home for a lot of people. Joseph Gordon-Levitt keeps making really great movies on this topic. Both 500 Days of Summer and Don Jon were about guys (and girls) with fantasy expectations having to come to terms with reality.

    Some people feel that couples like you were just lucky, but I don’t think that’s true. I think what people need to do is TALK about it. People really need to sit and talk about what they expect from the relationship BEFORE they get married, yet many people don’t. I really like your career comparisons. Set job expectations beforehand!

    4 years ago
    • Congratulations! :D Here’s to many more years of love and joy.

      When you miss each other when you’re apart, it’s like coming home when you’re together, you support one another as dynamic/ever-evolving beings, and you go out of your way to express love “just because”…in my book, that’s the good life.

      Related to individual relationship style, my husband and I see ourselves as two individuals in a coupledom. We’re a family, for better or worse, forever, and people grow and change over time. We’re different people from when we were younger and will change and evolve again and again forever. The joy of this marriage is that we love one another in all of our forms, we support one another in all of our interests/goals/etc, and we work hard to set aside our preconceived expectations of one another — to give one another space to be spontaneous/creative/wild/weird, dynamic living beings. Like this:

      “This is what I believe: That I am I. That my soul is a dark forest. That my known self will never be more than a little clearing in the forest. That gods, strange gods, come forth from the forest into the clearing of my known self, and then go back. That I must have the courage to let them come and go. That I will never let mankind put anything over me, but that I will try always to recognize and submit to the gods in me and the gods in other men and women. There is my creed.” ~D.H. Lawrence

      [Just celebrated our ninth anniversary earlier this month, together for twelve years, and my favorite thing about us is how no matter how much we change, we’re always playful, nerdy, and super snuggly BFFs and family for life.]

      4 years ago
  2. So February 29th is a break day? You cheeky devils you…

    4 years ago
  3. Happy anniversary Simon & Martina!!!! Have a fantabulous time at Bali!!! ^^

    4 years ago
  4. Congratulations~! Simon and Martina, you both are my role model when it comes to love. I am grateful that you write tips about happy loving relationship. I find it so nice from Simon to consider taking makeup classes to help Martina. Seeing couples like you give me hope about love. You both are very inspiring. :)

    Martina is so beautiful on the pictures.

    No need for vomit bag, hahaha!

    4 years ago
  5. You guys are the living embodiment of Marshall and Lily, long live the Duckies \o/

    4 years ago
  6. Congratulations! You are such an amazing and sweet couple! :)

    https://play.spotify.com/album/7tTc46dNdE6GGuiQsssWxo

    4 years ago
  7. You guys are adorable. Those photos are adorable. Your crew is adorable and so are your pets! No wonder so many people adore you.
    Congratulations on your anniversary! I wish you many many decades of more happiness together!

    4 years ago
  8. Congratulations ! I wish you the best for the years to come =)

    You two have a beautiful relationship. But as you stated and as the comments in this section prove it, everyone has its own vision of being in a couple, and everyone has to find what works for them and their special someone !

    My parents met in highschool and got together when they were 18. Today, they are 53 and still very happy together. And I’ve always admired how close they are. They still play cards together and tease each other like kids ! My mom has been my dad’s rock and together, they went through a lot (my grandmother’s cancer, my little brother’s schizophrenia). But what I didn’t know, growing up, is that my mom had a lot of lovers ! And my dad always knew about them. He knew he had to accept it in order to have a happy relationship with my mom. For some, it would seem crazy wouldn’t it ? But for them, it works !

    You never really know, when you see a couple, what they went through and how they make it work. But one thing seems sure, communication helps =)

    Congratulations again, and thanks for sharing your stories with us

    4 years ago
  9. Nawwww so cute~ Congratulations guys!^^

    I think your message about marriage can work for any relationship to be honest (as in family and friends too). Being honest with each other and doing little things to cheer each other up every now and then (not just on birthdays) does a lot of good for any relationship I think.

    One thing though – as an asexual/demiromantic person, I wish that marriage wasn’t the only acceptable state of being. People often make remarks about how my feelings will change when I meet someone and that may be true but I wish it wasn’t assumed that you need to be in a relationship or get married or have children to be happy in life. I could be just as happy as the next person with my friends and family. And I think I am.

    Anyway, those pictures are super cute! Congrats again! =^.^=

    4 years ago
    • Hey! I actually agree with you here. I’m grey-ace and I’m in a relationship with a wonderful guy that may or may not lead somewhere someday. Marriage doesn’t always have to be the end goal for people to be happy in their relationship. And just as Simon said, it shouldn’t be a goal at all but rather the job itself.

      Working together on a relationship, whether or not there are wedding rings involved, is the best way to find happiness with someone, I think. You could just as easily substitute the word “relationship” with “marriage” here.

      4 years ago
  10. What you guys said is very helpful. My bf is also Korean, and I’m american. To us what works so well is commucation. If you have a misunderstanding and you two need to talk it out, communication helps. Also men and wome hear, see, and speak differently, so it’s important to communicate. Whenever I feel stressed or cranky, and my bf doesn’t seem to understand what’s wrong with me, I let him know that I’m feeling a bit cranky, so that he understands, so in return he tries whatever he can to help me feel better. It really helps because I have really bad depression.

    4 years ago
  11. I JUST posted something about marriage on my blog a couple days ago! Coincidence! I also posted a barf bag at the bottom of it because it was so sappy hahahaha

    I agree with the points you guys have made. I said in my post as well, that marriage is not easy and takes a lot of work in order to thrive. Phrasing it as ‘marriage is a career’ is a really good way of putting it.

    My husband is Korean, and I’m American so we have had that extra struggle of getting over cultural differences as well as language barriers. We are currently in year 3 of marriage and year 6 as a couple, and much like y’all, we’re happier and more in love now than day 1. We have each done “special training” to advance our marriage, like taking languages classes so we are both fluent in each others’ mother tongue, I spent so much time trying-failing-and trying again to learn Korean recipes that now my husband likes my cooking better than his mom’s, and my husband has gone out of his way to reschedule our work so that I could fit in my hobbies.

    It’s not always rainbows and sunshine, but nothing ever is, and I can’t imagine being with anyone other than my husband. Nothing gets my blood boiling like people like the men who told you you’d get ‘the seven year itch’ pardon my language but screw those cunt-buckets.

    Marriage is awesome if you make it awesome!

    4 years ago
    • Hi, Yeobomg! After reading your comment here, it seems wonderful the marriage you and your husband have! Do you mind if you share the link to your blogpost here? I’m interested in seeing it as I’m in the mood of lovey-dovey stuff after reading M & S’ post! Hahaha.

      Thank you! :)

      4 years ago
    • Also, Martina looks stunning in that dress! Happy anniversary, y’all!

      4 years ago
  12. Happy anniversary!! :)
    Your advice and your pictures give me so much hope for marriage in the world. The pictures are just too cute!!
    My idea of marriage is basically what you’ve stated. You need to keep dating each other. Just because you got married doesn’t mean you give up on your spouse.
    I have had almost no good marriage examples growing up. I’m the product of my mom’s second marriage. Her first was a creepy failure. Sadly, my mom and dad’s marriage hasn’t been so great, either. He’s repeatedly cheated on her. Threatened to leave and take us kids.
    Somehow my mom has stayed with him through 5 cheating incidents for 27 years. Even now he has his eyes on another woman. She just takes him for what he is.
    My brother had threatened his girlfriend to dump her if she didn’t have sex with him. She threatened back they have to get married. He later told me he basically settled, but they’re making it work.
    My sister hasn’t been married, but she’s been in enough relationships with horrible guys. The worst gave me my neice, but he had been abusive, almost losing my neice while still in the womb!!
    I’m married now. His parents married because when his mom was barely 16, his then adult father got her pregnant. About 5 years later, they married. They’ve stuck through up to now, but even though he treats her well, he’s not afraid of looking at other women.
    My husband and I have been married 3 years on June 29th. It’s been wonderful and joyous and we still chase each other! We both talked about marriage beforehand and how we view it. We knew we didn’t want to become comfortable and stuck in a rut, so we decided we would continue to date after marriage. We handmake things randomly for each other. We’re very touchy feely.
    We also agree that marriage only has room for two. Porn, thoughts of others, cheating. These things are not wanted.
    Everyone told us, and they still do, that eventually we’ll become comfortable with each other and this whole lovey dovey thing will end.
    We’ve been proving them wrong. And we will even when we’re wrinkly and grey. Because we see each other growing old together.
    TL;DR:: Totally agree with you. Marriages around me say otherwise, so thanks for giving me faith in true love lasting in marriage. My husband and I couldn’t be happier :)

    4 years ago
  13. Happy Anniversary! You guys are seriously my relationship goal! I hope you two have many more happy years in the future! I try to do as much as I can for my special someone even though we don’t get to see each other all that often because of reasons. When it comes to expressing how I feel I’ve learned that I rather tell them how I feel than to just keep it in and lash out at my loved one. They understand and try to get me in a better mood and vise versa. I think communication and understanding is something you need in any relationship, it being just partners as boyfriend/girlfriend or in a marriage.

    4 years ago
  14. Happy Anniversary!! I wish you both well in your exciting upcoming years! You two have just the sweetest relationship! And that video had juuuust the right amount of cute in it.
    It really shows through all of your videos how much you care about each other as well as how much fun you have, regardless of what kind of day, you’re alway there for each other and I hope to aspire for a relationship like that. >.< Congratulations to your team and I hope that you continue to share your wonderful life across the internets~

    4 years ago
  15. Oh gosh, this made me tear up (especially reading about you going to the gym and possibly taking makeup courses and all that, so sweet). I’ve never been in a relationship, but since I started watching your videos (and knew that you were married, because I totally thought you two were just friends at first) like 6 years ago, your guy’s relationship have been my relationship goals once I’m in one. You two just come off as an amazing couple, and you seem so in love and work so hard for each other, and to have that is so special. This is a really sappy comment, but seriously, relationship goals for me,

    4 years ago
  16. Happy Anniversary, off topic, but did you know Simon, that a remade version of Final Fantasy VII was anncounced today! I’m really hyped for that game!

    4 years ago
  17. Happy Anniversary!
    That’s wonderful advice! I hope I can keep trying to make my boyfriend smile like that :) nawww the feels

    4 years ago
  18. Happy Anniversary guys!
    I’m not vomitting looking at the pictures, it’s the other way around, I’m so happy for both of you.
    Regarding relationships and marriage, I think I have a positive influence thanks to my parents, maybe it’s an Asian thing but they are not the demonstrative type with their affections but I know for sure they are still in love with each other. I still recalled the time my parents said they were each other’s first boyfriend/girlfriend hahaha
    My dad doesn’t really agree with dating with many people before settling with one. He told me, he believe that when you are already in a relationship, he only committed himself to that one only and using your words here, ‘bust his ass’ to make the relationship last.
    Yes, there are relationships that don’t end well and that’s okay. But love is more than just a feeling, it’s a commitment and a decision.

    Hats off to you Simon and Martina

    4 years ago
  19. I know the topic is very important, but… Meemers :3! Hahahah He couldn’t care less, heheheh Taking a bath! :) And congrats!

    4 years ago
  20. Happy 8 years anniversary! :D
    Woah, I was actually going to request a “Husband does my makeup” video xD
    By the way, is that the Fell and Cole ice cream shop in your pictures?

    4 years ago
  21. Oh my goodness, Simon! Look at the baby face you had on your wedding day!!! Awwww! Happy Anniversary you two! I hope one day I get to meet a special guy and have a lovey-dovey well balanced marriage like you two. :)

    4 years ago
  22. Oh, which reminds me. I’m playing DJ for my friend’s wedding soon, so I’ve been collecting songs with good, meaningful lyrics. This is one of them, “I Choose You” by Stan Walker:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE1lU9vxUO0

    It basically talks about love as a choice, an action, instead of just a feeling. You need to keep working at it, even when times get hard.

    4 years ago
  23. Whoa those 40-year old dudes can mind their own business. *dagger eyes*

    My parents have a story about when they first got married. My dad is Australian, and my mom is Thai/Chinese, so when my dad’s family travelled to Thailand to ask for her hand in marriage, my mom’s father did not approve of my dad. Reason being, White guys are notorious for divorcing their wives. He didn’t want his daughter to go off with some frivolous white guy.
    So when he said this to my dad’s parents, my grandfather held my grandmother’s hand, and said: “We have been married for 10 645 days.” (or something, he memorises the days man)
    Long story short; my mom’s father gave his consent, and my parents have now been happily married for over 30 years :)

    4 years ago
  24. Yep, you guys are my relationship goals. Hooray for you and keep being amazing.

    4 years ago
  25. You guy’s are awesome relationship role models. It’s refreshing and inspiring to see how much you cherish each other. I really love TL;DR’s like this, helps motivate me too be as loving and supportive as possible for my partner who’s away for work at the moment. Even when things are though we have each other and we should always be grateful for that, where not alone in the good times and we have someone to support us through the hard times.

    I hope you’re having a wonderful time in Bali guys! And that you don’t get too drunk and forget to keep Martina fully coated in sunblock! Happy anniversary!

    4 years ago
  26. I think I have ten cavities from the uber sweetness of this post (especially those pictures) and I LOVE it! You guys truly represent my future relationship goals. I want to marry my best friend, to love them and laugh with them and not ever fall out of love. Anyway. You guys hit the nail on the head about the tips for a happy marriage. It’s all about the little things. Big gestures are nice but the small everyday gestures come out of nowhere and just serve to say “I love you”.

    Thanks for sharing!

    4 years ago
  27. Ya’ll are so damn adorbs! Congratulations!

    My husband and I have been together 7 years now (married for two of them). My thoughts on how we’ve managed it all:

    Be honest. Sounds like a no-brainer, but when it comes to feelings, it can be the hardest thing ever. Saying that you feel hurt or that you are having a sad day or you don’t be want to be alone that night; these can be really difficult to say and honestly, very much against the idea of a typical American couple (at least as far as TV and movies have taught me). “You can’t” is not a phrase we ever utter because that statement is usually fueled by a deeper feeling of loneliness or fear.

    We delight in being our awesome selves even when we’re in separate corners (so to speak). We play video games together but by together, I mean at the same time in the same general space, but usually not the same game. I suck at all his games and he hates mine. And it’s totally cool cause we’ll take a break and talk about our respective games and be excited to share what we’re doing.

    Yeah marriage!

    4 years ago
  28. Happy Anniversary! I have to say that you hit the most important point that marriage is a constant work in progress and isn’t only important on special occasions. My husband and I have been married for nearly 15 years (this September woot!) and I have to say that my husband is my biggest cheerleader and supporter. When you’re married, you are a team and you work as a team. My mother wasn’t raised that way and she always told me that I’m suppose to do all the domesticated stuff at home – clean, cook, take care of the kids, that’s how the Filipino culture works, but my husband and I don’t work that way. My mom was really weirded out that my husband was actually washing dishes and cooking dinner when we first got married, but now she’s use to it and wishes that my dad was a little more helpful LoL… Like you said, not everything one couple does works for another couple, but in general, working as a team and always working for your marriage is what keeps it happy…oh and lots and lots of laughter….

    4 years ago
  29. Hey guys <3 beautiful work on 10+ years of being with & there for each other. You are amazing and inspiring. Half way through the video I jumped up & made good with my guy, cause we'd had a slight argument right before seeing this vid/post. I'd say I seriously agree about your mentality surrounding relationships and marriage: It's something you continually work on and put [good] energy towards. for a long time now I've thought of you both as a positive example of a working & healthy relationship. Thank you :)

    ps. love the picture 3/4 the way down where Simon is grabbing Martina as if to say 'NO, SHE is MINE! NO ONE ELSE, MINE!' too adorable!! **vomits rainbows from cuteness overload**

    4 years ago
  30. The secret I found to my 14 years of marriage is TALK!!! WORK hard at the marriage. Support each other. Support each others habits even if they don’t appeal to you( my hubby is a big D&D gamer and has even got our 10 year old twins involved). Find things you like to do together, We often read together…I will sometimes read the same book he is when he isn’t home. Be honest. Make each other laugh, I mean really laugh, often. I am a loud, talkative, and colourful person and he is very shy, quiet, and serious but we get along really well. He was and is my best friend. I would not be here if it were not for him. He is my knight in not-so-shiny- and- slightly rusted armour and I am his damsel in slightly-klutzy-self inflicted-humourous distress. Congrats on your Anniversary!!!

    4 years ago
  31. Next month is the 5 year aniversary that my bf and I have been dating (Yeah, it’s been a long time and we techically are high school sweethearts). People have asked us how we have managed that long with each other and have never dated other people during the 5 years. The reason is how we both view our relationship works. It’s in a list like this:

    1) We don’t enjoy displaying our affection. This includes hugging, kissing, taking photos with each other, or holding each other. We do hold hands occasionally, but it isn’t that often. A display of public affection doesn’t need to be proof of a couple that is in love. As long as my bf and I know that we love each other, then we don’t need to show it to the world.

    2) We don’t act like “normal” couples. My bf and I tease each other all the time. However, a lot of people we talk to think that my bf isn’t treating me well when we are together. Many think it’s weird that he teases me when we are together, and we don’t do the lovey dovey couple thing. For us, a relationship is where we don’t act lovey dovey unless we are alone and we can act casual amongst each other (though I am not ok with farts). There isn’t a regulated idea of how it’s supposed to be and honestly, it can be whatever you find comfortable and right.

    3) Division of who buys what. There’s a lot of girls in our Chinese culture where they expect the boyfriend to buy them everything expensive/fancy and when they aren’t satisfied, throw yelling fits at their boyfriends. There’s also the expectation where the guy has to carry the girl’s bags. My bf and I both dislike this. We both don’t think it’s one person’s job to spoil the other. We do things like splitting bills, taking turns paying, and we do buy gifts during appropriate times or when we feel like it. A relationship requires work between the two groups. Not one where one person is the one being whipped to spend all their money.

    4 years ago
  32. Congratulations!

    It’s pretty obvious to see you guys are truly in love. It’s a rare occurrence that two completely separate people can find one another to complete each other as you two have.

    I feel like I almost missed my chance because I’m already out of university, but I’ve got some big opportunities ahead in my life and I’m hoping that maybe they will lead me down the road to finding the person right for me.

    4 years ago
    • Just like the reply from Beithsaille said, you’ve got plenty of time! I met my guy at age 27, I had basically given up finding someone that cared about the same things as me, etc etc. We’ve been dating for just over a year and I feel the same now as I did a year ago. You meet people all the time, good luck :)

      4 years ago
    • Never give up! Love happens! It took a while for so many folks to find each other. I myself would not change the wait for my guy. If it was not for the various life experiences I would not have been ready to be a strong and healthy partner for my spouse. Live life, have fun, and make friends. It is those relationships that can make the strongest bonds for life partners! ~.^

      4 years ago
  33. Congratulations! I’m really happy you guys.

    4 years ago
  34. Congrats you crazy Love Birds! Feel’n the Love! My hubby and I have been married only 6 weeks longer… My advice, marry your best friend. Laughter, fun and shared interest are just as important as love. Something as simple as holding hands makes our day. As well as, finding silly moments to celebrate life. I too have medical issues. Nothing as challenging as Martina’s…. But my guy’s priority is me and my happiness. Just as my priority is his happiness.
    I love that you two are generous with sharing your relationship in such wonderful ways.
    Thank you for being you and being such an amazing team!
    Beth

    4 years ago
  35. Congratulations Simon and Martina :D

    I was recently through a very bad breakup, but watching you guys makes me believe that love really exists, and that I can find that special person one day.

    Thanks so much for sharing so much of yourselves with us, and have a nice stay in Bali :)

    4 years ago
  36. Happy Anniversary you two!!! I wish you guys many more years of happy marriage! These pictures are so adorable and are so cute and ooze happiness! Enjoy Bali! :)

    4 years ago
  37. What I have loved and plan to take away from Simon and Martina’s marriage is that when you are blessed to find true and honest love on this journey called life, be sure to make everyday of it an adventure. Though I’m sure they have a rhyme and rhythm to their life together, they’ve made an example of what it means to get up each morning and go into the world as partners, friends, lovers, and cheerleaders {not the pom-pom toting kind} being sure never to take the other for granted. Yeah, they are lovey-dovey together, but you can tell they also work on being great loves for each other. We all can only pray to be so blessed as to find that sort of love. Happy Anniversary to you both! Here’s to many more!

    4 years ago
  38. First, I’m saying that this is just good advice. Not even “this works for us” advice. I was in a relationship for 7 years, and these are great tips. It takes two and if one person (or usually both people) don’t do their share, it’s not going to work. And it IS work.

    Martina: I have found that people who live with any kind of chronic pain illness are NOT morning people. It takes forever to get up. It hurts so bad and you have to make your way out of bed which can often take a long time, especially if you need to take medication first thing in the morning. So you finally get up and after being up all day, the pain makes it hard to sleep, so you HAVE to destress. So you destress at night and than it’s 2 am and now you start the whole process over again.

    You aren’t alone.

    4 years ago
  39. Congrats guy. You both look amazing and adorable in the pictures.

    4 years ago
  40. Congratulations! You guys are such a lovely couple! I hope you guys can have 8 more wonderful years together. I just have a question, do you think that your meet your kimchi tour would be appropriate for young girls? Some friends of mine really want to go but their parents are still unsure. Thank you, and I am so happy for you guys. :D

    4 years ago
    • Hmm. Well, I’m not really sure what “appropriate” means, because that word has different weight for different sensibilities. We won’t go on stage singing bawdy lyrics in front of a dildo-windmill, but we speak candidly, and sometimes we might say a bad word or two, you know?

      4 years ago