June 16, 2015
Happy Anniversary to us! It is now our 8 year wedding anniversary! Yes, eight whole years we’ve been married. We were engaged for a year and three months before that, were dating for a year before that, so altogether we’ve been together for over 10 years now! Amazing, isn’t it? I know it’s more amazing to some of you than others, because a lot of people thought that we were just friends and that I was gay. We read that a lot a while ago. Oddly, they don’t say that anymore with my beard. I wonder why? Who knows. Though, I did read a hilarious comment on YouTube a few weeks ago that went something along the lines of “I just discovered your channel, and I love your videos! The chemistry you two have together is so amazing! Every girl deserves a gay bestie!” We both chortled :D
Yep. Eight whole years of being married, and we’re happier together now than we were after our first year. We’re happier together now than we’ve ever been. I don’t know how we can keep going like this. It’s unsustainable. Given this growth rate, eight years from now all we’ll do is laugh and hug and not have time to eat or do anything else, and we’ll die of starvation. This is Global Warming on a whole new level.
That reminds me: I remember when we were in Singapore for some special event, I went out to get drinks for Martina and I in the middle of a show, because the drinks were free and nothing tastes better than free food. I saw three older dudes in their mid 40s who started a small conversation with me as my drinks were being poured. I told them that one of the drinks was for my wife, and they asked how long we were married for. Then they said “pfft! Wait till you’re on year 7! You’ll get the 7 year itch and then you’ll find someone else! Ain’t that right fellas?” And the other dudes all high fived and agreed with each other. Well, guess what, you bitter fucks? YOU WERE WRONG!
But these guys aren’t the only ones that have spoken to me thusly. I didn’t grow up with positive examples of marriage, from my families and friends around me, along with what I’d see on television. Their perspective is a common one. So, I would like to be able to think of our relationship as a positive example for marriages, a rebuttal for bad relationship standards. I’d like people to see the two of us together for over a decade, still madly in love with each other, in a happy and healthy relationship, and I’d like that to be a counterargument to some of the unhappier marriages out there.
I think, though, that our concept of marriage and what keeps us happily married is very different than what we’ve seen in other people’s relationships. To some, marriage is a status that they’ve achieved, and once that goal has been unlocked they go on living their lives in pursuit of other goals and put their trophy on a shelf. Marriage isn’t something that’s worked at consistently, it’s just something worked towards and then moved beyond. But in the rest of their lives people will bust ass in their jobs and do their best to keep their bosses happy. They’ll try to get a promotion and more money and respect and more money and awards and more money. Why not put in that kind of work for your manager at home? Why are people’s work ethics so heavily tipped towards their careers rather than their homes?
We’re very career oriented people; it’s just that marriage is our career. Everything else is periphery. People take extra courses and get certificates for their careers, but for us, all other training we do is to try to be better at our jobs as spouses. I took a foot massage course to try to help Martina go to sleep better. I’m training at the gym now a lot harder than ever before in hopes that I can be strong enough to help Martina with whatever mobility issues she may have in the future. Martina’s vision isn’t doing too well, and she’s having increasing trouble putting on makeup in the mirror, so we discussed the possibility of my taking a makeup course so I can help her out when she needs it.
You know, the more we talked about this topic, the more it seems like this advice could apply not just to marriages, but to being a better employee, because all the language we’ve used sounds like career terminology. And taking this idea one step further, I think it all just boils down to motivation and work ethic. It’s really difficult for us to sit around and do nothing, to be lazy. We had friends that would call us on the weekends and tell us that they were bored. BORED? How can you be bored?! There are so many things you can be doing! So many things you can be learning! So, for us, we’re both people that put in a lot of effort in everything we do. We busted ass at our jobs in high school, even though we knew we weren’t going to work at the mall forever. We busted ass in university. We’re busting ass (or trying to bust ass) with making videos. And we bust ass in our relationship as well.
If you’re in a relationship with someone now, once you’re done reading this, go out of your way and bust ass for them. Go give them a massage. Make them a sandwich. Help them with their project at school. Pick them up from work with flowers. Do whatever you think you can do to see that person smile, to make their day better. And, hopefully, once you see them smile, or laugh, or even cry (good cries not bad cries), you’ll feel a happiness in yourself for doing so.
And though I do know that this whole posts sounds rather forceful, I’m not bullheaded, and so I’d love to hear other people’s ideas about marriages and relationships. We do know that not everybody has the same ideals in a relationship that we have, and that different cultures and circumstances dictate different approaches towards relationships and marriages. We’d love to hear how, if you’d like to talk about it. Though, we just published this video on morning of our anniversary, and now we’re gonna go celebrate for the rest of the day, so it might take a while for us to respond.
Ok, I’ll stop being serious now. The day that we filmed this video, we also walked around with Yewon, who’s new to the Eatyourkimchi Team, and had her take pictures of us in our natural, snuggly state. We realized that we don’t have many pictures of us like this online, because there’s only so much you can do when one hand is holding a camera. So, here’s us being sweet and cute. GET YOUR VOMIT BAGS READY!