Go Premium
Facebook Twitter Google Plus

What’s the Ideal Korean Woman?

November 28, 2013

Comments

Share Post

Ok, this is a very touchy subject. Our last week’s TL;DR was mostly about how women have high standards for men. This TL;DR touches on men’s perspective, but then it spins off into issues of gender inequality, which is a giant can of worms to deal with. We’re not as thorough in this subject as many other sources you can find online. All we can do is offer you the stories we’ve been told and the discussions we’ve had.

So, when we started thinking about this TL;DR, we really wanted the video to be just a few seconds long. Guys want a pretty girl. Subscribe for more. GONG! That would be pretty effective, in my opinion. It wouldn’t say that much in the video, but it would say a lot altogether. All guys want is a pretty girl, and the brevity of the video would match the superficiality of the requirements. Brilliant! But then we decided to talk about it a bit more, because we were worried that people will think that men are just shallow a-holes.

Story time: a friend’s friend was looking to be set up with a girl. He’s not particularly attractive, but he’s got top grades in a top program in a top university. And so his requirements for the girl was for her to be SMOKING hot. Why? Because he’s got a great life set out for him, as will whatever girl he marries. Also, he worked really hard to get to where he is now, so he needs an appropriate girl to reflect his achievements. The phrase “trophy wife” definitely screams out at this moment. And, you know what? Even though this sounds ridiculous to us, he’ll totally get a smoking hot girl because of his circumstances.

Why doesn’t he want a girl that’s more than just really pretty? It’s not so much that men are utterly shallow, but more that women are oftentimes overwhelmingly pressured into dropping their careers and dedicating their lives to being stay at home wives, so a woman’s career stability isn’t an issue, since she going to be provided for once they’re married.

And, yes, things are changing now, and women are more and more continuing to pursue their careers, but their treatment at home at times hasn’t caught up to speed with their career fulfilment, in that they’re still required to do all the work of a housewife, on top of balancing their careers. That SUPER sucks, IMO.

More story time: we know of a Korean woman who, when she started her job, she was getting promotions left right and centre, up until she hit her mid 30s, when she hit a career roadblock. She wasn’t getting the big projects anymore, wasn’t growing in her career anymore, and she was frustrated, up until her late 30s, when she started getting promotions and big gigs again. Why the plateau at her mid 30s? Because it was assumed that she was going to get married and pregnant soon, that’s why. HARSH.

For women who are deciding to pursue their careers instead of their relationships, they’re still suffering from unfair treatment at work, not only for being a woman, but for being single as well. Who’s gonna get the shitty shift with terrible hours? The boss isn’t going to make the woman married with kids have that role! That’d be unfair! So give it to the single lady who has nothing to go home to. This is especially true for high school teachers. No one wants to teach the third grade, the university prep grade, because you have to work from 6AM to Midnight. We know of some high school teachers who will plan to get pregnant right around the level-assigning season, so that they can have an reason NOT to be given that position. But if you’re unmarried? Screw you: you get the job that no one wants.

So, yeah, we’re getting side tracked here. TL;DR – guys want pretty girls because that’s all that matters if you’re going to be a stay at home wife, while women pursuing their careers are treated unfairly.

To us, it seems like these ideal types that we’ve been talking about for the past two weeks are emphasizing the most pragmatic approach to pursuing an old-fashioned relationship. For other people – like in our case, for example – marriage is a joining of two life-partners, that want to be happy together and want to experience life together and to share experiences and stories and such. We got married for love, not for family economics, and though both are not mutually exclusive, the description of the ideal types suggests that old models for relationship are emphasized above love for marriage. Does that make sense?

Every country has different approaches, I’m sure, so we’d love to hear what things are like for you where you grew up.

Yeah! That’s it for this week. I hope you found this topic interesting, because we sure did. If you like these TL;DRs, subscribe for more! Speaking of marriage for love, our WANK is almost ready to be uploaded, and the video’s about us going on date night and showing you what we did. OOOH SO SAPPY. No, but seriously, how many of you could understand what we were saying to each other at the end of the video? Hands up if you did. Two hands up if you were slightly disturbed by our weirdness :D

Comments

232

Share Post

TL;DR

HIDE COMMENTS

What’s the Ideal Korean Woman?

232 COMMENTS

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  1. About women not being hired or promoted when in their mid-30s, my Japanese relatives were telling me about that happening in Japan.
    As for marrying for love, I feel like Korea is at one extreme and America is at another. Koreans apparently don’t marry for love as much as they do for family economics. Where as ALOT of Americans marry purely for love/lust and don’t pay any attention to family economics, the evidence being our high divorce rate, and fact that the most common reasons for divorce are money related.
    I think marrying because you both have common goals in life and similar interests is just as vain as marrying someone because of their career or status. My dad likes gaming, my mom likes watching costume dramas and looking at fashion magazines. My dad studied to be an engineer, my mom was an art major. But they both have mutual respect for each others interest, and honestly that’s all I think is necessary. The most important thing is respect and have the same life principles and values.
    I think there could be a balance between the practicality of Korean marriage and the emotion of American marriage :)

    7 years ago
  2. Rewatching this I’m reminded of the cultural components we sometimes came across when I was studying in Japan. Among the many grammatical examples along the lines of “my Dad has this and that job” and “mr Tanaka’s wife is very good at cleaning” (and never the opposite, that is. It was a strong tendency), one of them was “if you earn a lot of money, you can have a pretty wife!” And that wasn’t even an example sentence. It was the teacher who said it. I almist threw up right then and there.

    6 years ago
  3. i wonder what the percentage in females going to this SKY University is………and also makes me wonder “in this theory”, if it is frowned upon for females to be really really smart and a go getter. What is the point when korean business only refer to men when talking businesses (as noted in one of your vids)

    7 years ago
  4. Is this mentality still going strong with the younger generation? If it is, it seems like for foreigners that don’t think the same way, such as Americans, it would be a bad idea to marry a Korean guy, no? (Which is unfortunate…)

    7 years ago
  5. Do you think the Plastic Surgery epidemic will result in future situations like the recent case in China where a man sued his wife for giving him “ugly” children?

    (She had spent over 100k USD on plastic surgery and totally transformed her look, and the children predictably didn’t look like her.) Plastic surgery in Korea seems so prevalent and skilled, if men are really only looking for pretty wives to have their babies, and prettiness can now be bought, this seems like a disaster waiting to happen?

    7 years ago
  6. Hey guise.

    Maybe the whole situation (employee – single/married) would change if some people… more people would come up and stand on firm positions… and maybe… it would change slowly… if only… I think the companies think they can get away with it and that’s why they have all these restrictions…

    …and about guys… most of them want a pretty girl…no matter if they worked hard to get where they got…or not… rarely …you find someone that’s interested less in looks and more in what the person has to say or what the person thinks..

    …your friend’s friend… I’m pretty sure he’s gonna get what he deserves.

    ♥♥♥♥♥♥

    7 years ago
  7. I would like to know about counter culture in Korea. I know here in the states punk and goth culture isn’t uncommon, but how about in Korea? Is it as prominent? If so, how is it handled by society and schools, work, etc. Thanks!

    7 years ago
  8. One thing my family did is that my father always worked but my mom only stayed at home until all of the kids enrolled into school. Hence, once my youngest brother started kindergarten she went back to work because none of her kids were babies anymore who needed constant care. I think it’s important to be very close to your children when they’re infants/toddlers but as they get a bit older and become less dependent then you’ll have more time to pursue a career again. Seeing that most people will spend decades in the workforce anyways, taking just a few years off for your children (if possible) is reasonable.

    7 years ago
  9. I think Martina said something about going to get something to eat like a sandwich or “somefing” But yeah, the gender qualities are pretty much as expected..

    7 years ago
  10. Ok.. I’m gonna raise a half hand…. and do my best to decode (which might be a fail)
    I got some thing like….
    “Ducky, I love you. But when are we going to go to eat?”
    “I think we’re going too go after we film and get some food”
    that last sentence though…. o boy i’m not really sure at all….
    I’m guessing your saying you want to go eat something specific?… but I really don’t know what that is at all. XD But It’s super cute!! ^.^

    The language thing really is a must couple thing though XD
    My boyfriend and I speak in quarter english, quarter mandarin, quarter japanese, and quarter “chup” language.
    it could be something like “haii, but what the choup are chuchuing? ahchu baka boy :P ” or when saying good bye “wo ai chup! zai jian<3"
    And I'm sure you two can agree that the language is a habit! and you get weird looks from friends when you attempt to speak to them in that language by mistake. XD

    7 years ago
  11. I grew up being raised by my mom, my dad was never around but that’s not the case. Since, I told my mom that I wanted to move to Korea in the future after I finished college & marry a Korean or marry at least marry a Korean American. My mom has no problem with the whole different race thing but she always told me that whoever would be my future husband…he had to treat me right & we both had to treat each other equally. In other words, I shouldn’t be a stay at home wife & rely on just my husband for income, we both need to pull or wait. I should have a successful job just like my husband & we both each do our fair share of household chores. This is the requirement for not just me but for also my future husband. Besides, my mom will kick my ass if I ever become a stay at home wife.

    7 years ago
  12. such long comments

    7 years ago
  13. the 30 year old woman sound like the drama “still marry me”(the woman who still wants to get married) everybody said that if you are a 30 year old woman and you arent married with kinds its so sad. when i heard the video i was like OMG so unfair but yeah its like mexican culture (my culture) man works and provides money and she take care of the kids and house and if you work you look for a “mom job” one that you can go out as soon as your kids go out from school and your husband came from work to eat and with vacations that matches your kids holidays too. and if he doesnt work and stay at home its like “whats wrong with him? why he is ok with his wife providing everything?, he needs to look for a job and be a man”

    the diference is that mexican men like pretty girls for dating but for marriage they want someone that cooks >.<

    7 years ago
  14. the 30 year old woman sound like the drama “still marry me”(the woman who still wants to get married) everybody said that if you are a 30 year old woman and you arent married with kinds its so sad. when i heard the video i was like OMG so unfair but yeah its like mexican culture (my culture) man works and provides money and she take care of the kids and house and if you work you look for a “mom job” one that you can go out as soon as your kids go out from school and your husband came from work to eat and with vacations that matches your kids holidays too. and if he doesnt work and stay at home its like “whats wrong with him? why he is ok with his wife providing everything?, he needs to look for a job and be a man”

    7 years ago
  15. Cute and Sexy comes together in Kevin…you know this already. Not sure about girls though.

    7 years ago
  16. Question: Have you or any of your friend teachers ever had a western student in your career span? (like exchange student or of the like)

    7 years ago
    • I teach in a public school and I had an exchange student in my fourth grade class for about 3 months (during the summer vacation in America) She was from Atlanta and she came to learn Korean. I loved having her and all the kids loved having her too.

      7 years ago
      • cool! I was actually thinking in the future to try for a program in South Korea! nice to know it happens!

        7 years ago
  17. I’M Indian, but for most of my life (like literally from primary school) i was brought up in Oman and Bahrain (Arab countries). so in my household, we have mix of Indian culture and Arab culture and not to mention the occasional are worlds that pop into our conversation. this later changed coz i moved to England and now we have the influences of the English culture too. now when it comes to thins such as fining the your Prince Charming or Princesses Charming, our extended families still look into the fact that the person is INDIAN. so we literally start from the nationality. (Some of my family members even asked me if i have an English BF, where even one went unto the extent of asking me, if i’ve lost ‘it’ to an English guy!! weird!) then of course comes the education. the guy should at least have an MBA or an advanced degree. then we also do have the culture of giving dowry (which is like a cash or jewellery or property that the girl’s parents gig tot he guy for taking care of their little girl. ridiculous i know!) so, it all comes down to, 1. the guy should be from a well off family, must be educated in a good university and if he is educated abroad he is Superman,. 3. he should have a great job and if he is working abroad, he is Avengers put together. now mind you, in the Indian culture, arranged marriage still exist. so when the guy’ family is looking for a girl, they do want their daughter -in-law to be again from a well off family, educated, but not as much as the guy, should have a job which she should quit after the marriage, and she should be at least an inch shorter than the guy. so, it’s mostly like the guy will protect you kinda thing. however, with this being said, the mentality of men and with more modernisation, things are changing now. men are looking fro girls who are well educated (to have a decent conversation), a good job, a fantastic fashion sense, really good English, skills such as driving, scuba diving and stuff. the arab culture is also changing in this perspective, as men are allowing their wives to work and be another bread winner.

    Now mind you, i’m an talking about the general population. things and opinions vary for every family and individual. my family…..we are bit crazy…so lets not got there! :)

    7 years ago
  18. I feel like you are very close. You have incredibly deciphering skills!

    7 years ago
  19. I understand about gender equality–and I think its super important! I love my husband, and when we got married I was very happy to quit my job making cheeseburgers to pursue my dream of owning my own knitting/blog business full time! I also married for love. My husband does not help out around the home a lot, but thats really because he works 60 plus hours a week. Poor thing. But, he LOVES his job (works for the mounted police in Canada–he’s not a police man, he does programing for their radios) I love our relationship and the things we do to help each other.

    7 years ago
  20. probably because they are of a younger generation than the generation that were like the ones Simon and Martina discussed. i did notice, while i stayed in korea, that a LOT of fathers were carrying the babies (in a baby sling, of course :p) and pushing the prams

    6 years ago
  21. Everyone here is like, “let’s all move to Sweden!”
    While Sweden does a great job in gender equality, remember that it is HARD to be a Swedish immigrant or a citizen.
    Because of the conflict with Muslims throughout Europe, EU in fact, is shutting down immigration doors.
    France is currently not accepting immigration, or not very easily at least.
    So good luck with that. I personally like a society like Sweden,
    but I would rather put the effort to change the community I live in,
    instead of getting shitload of paperwork done and learning a new language.
    It will be strenuous, but will be worth it in the long run.

    6 years ago
  22. Do you guys plan to have kids? Other then Spudgy and Meemers?

    7 years ago
  23. I literally had to pause the video for about three minutes just to laugh at Martina’s bagel face XD

    So am I the only one thinking a bagel shirt would be awesome? Something like “The perfect woman” with a picture of a bagel underneath. And nobody would truly understand but the Nasties!

    7 years ago
  24. although my dad works longer shifts and earns more, his job means he has 3 days off a week, and that he’s home during the day 2 days a week, so he cooks 5 days a week and is a much better cook than my mum! lol

    7 years ago
  25. Hey guys, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The name’s Lee. Maybe we could talk about the gay ideal man in Korea. Even though, through your older videos (older TL;DR’s) you have mentioned homosexuality in Korea. However, I’m an avid Asian studies student. I’ve come to find out that people in the Philippines and Japan pay men to have relations with them. But they are not seen dating. Now, I know that this has changed over the years, but it’s still a thing. I just want to know from your homosexual friends if there are any ideals, seeing as gay men kinda go against the mainstream (because they’re totally hipster that way).
    I’ve been a long time watcher, even since your older posts (yes, including the ones you wanted to send only to your parents to let them know you’re okay) and I was wondering when are you going to bring the challenges back for the W.A.N.K.’s? If they’re not coming back, please let me know. You can even send it to my email.

    7 years ago
  26. As an unmarried foreigner, Korean age 26, even my students treat me terribly and I suspect that it is (in large part) due to my relationship status. Any other women out there with similar experience? I’m about ready to buy myself a couple ring as an experiment to see if anything changes.

    5 years ago
  27. My country, Singapore, has this 5C requirements (for guys). Cash, car, cards (credit cards), condominium (which is like super expensive here!), and career.

    P/S: cars are expensive here. The cheapest car will cost you around 70,000USD!

    7 years ago
  28. Would majority of Korean men prefer to go for Korean women or is it pretty much equal that many of them would also be interested to go for foreigners? And when I mean ‘interested’, I mean up to the point they would marry that foreigner woman.

    7 years ago
    • oh there is a huge amount of korean men who want to meet foreigners.
      it’s not because they are fantasizing pretty model-like white women,
      but more so because the standards for the men to be ‘ideal’ is too high.
      and of course, the expectation is from the woman herself.
      not all non-korean women are all for equality and aren’t gold diggers,
      but the cultures outside korea tend to be much less emphasized on how much
      the man will buy expensive louis vuitton bags for his date.

      6 years ago
  29. OMG..wow..the ideal korean women just need to be pretty,and no need for them to be smart, so that they can pass they pretty genes to their children..?? Probably they’ll pass down the stupid genes too.

    7 years ago
    • and then they will cause a HUGE Disruption in their Ideal lifestyle OOPPS !!!

      7 years ago
  30. I think Latin American countries are also very traditionalist when it comes to marriage and kids. Although there isn’t the pressure of marrying someone with money or good looks or whatever and just find someone that you truly want to be with, there are people that expect their kids to be married and have kids at a certain age, male or female. Apparently the best age to get married is between 29-32, if you’re not married at that age people start questioning you “why aren’t you married?” and it’s annoying.
    Then there’s also the fact that the EXPECT the daughters to get married and have kids. I’m 22 right now, and my mother keeps asking me why I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t want to get married and I don’t want to have kids either, it’s a personal decision, but every time I say I don’t want either, my mom (and my friends too, that just happened like two weeks ago!) just look at me like I’m crazy or that I’m too young to know what I want or something along that. I just don’t want to get married or have kids. I just imagine how it’s going to be when I’m a few years older if it’s like this now. smh.

    7 years ago
    • The absolute worst for me is when you tell someone you don’t want to have kids and the first thing they say is “oh you say that now, but when you get older you’ll want to.”
      How about respecting my decision, regardless of if it will change or not? Why do people always have this need to disregard someone’s personal opinions because socially it is normal to want to have kids and get married and settle down?

      7 years ago
      • happens to me all the time. When i say i don’t want to get married or have kids I get the same response “thats what you think of now” and “oh you say that now but when you are in love….” ugh

        7 years ago
      • yes, that’s exactly my point. It’s incredibly frustrating to have to say it over and over again, and people still don’t respect it.

        7 years ago
    • I actually face this issue on a daily basis. I have known since a very young age that I didn’t want to get married or have children. Not that I’m not open to that possibility if it presents itself, but, those things were never goals in my life. I have never dreamed of my wedding day or the birth of a child, and if I ever did I’m pretty sure it was a nightmare… ok not a nightmare… eheh… but not exactly what I picture as things that would make me happy as a fulfilling life goal.

      7 years ago
    • I actually face this issue on a daily basis. I have known since a very
      young age that I didn’t want to get married or have children. Not that
      I’m not open to that possibility if it presents itself, but, those
      things were never goals in my life. I have never dreamed of my wedding
      day or the birth of a child, and if I ever did, I’m pretty sure it was a
      nightmare… ok not a nightmare… eheh… but not exactly what I
      picture as things that would make me happy as a fulfilling life goal.
      Ever since I was 15 years old I have made it well known to my family, my parents, especially my mother, that I was not going to get married or have children. Of course, she dismissed it because she didn’t believe it… but I kept saying it, and she kept not believing in me. And now I’m 35 and I still do not want those things and she still hopes that I will get married and have kids. My whole family keeps asking if I have a boyfriend and whatnot… and after all these years of me saying the same things over and over again it gets a little depressing and frustrating to think that my family thinks that being happy in life comes down to getting married and having children…. because they truly believe that I’m unhappy and wasting myself, judging by the faces they make when they hear that I’m still single ._. I don’t think of myself as a selfish person. I know that I could possibly be a good wife and mother, but I just don’t consider those things as essential or a priority in my life. In all of the relationships that I had, I always made it very clear what it was I wanted. Yes I have had relationships, but until I find someone who sees it the same way as I do, I may well have to wait until the next life for a partner that rather wants to travel the world with me and dance on the streets instead of having babies. Am I crazy for wanting something different?

      7 years ago
      • That’s really admirable that you know yourself so well and what you want. If you love yourself and your life as it is, then why mess with a good thing? I guess that since humans are communal animals, people (relatives) tend to feel that being in a relationship is always desirable but not everyone will fit into that mold and you may be one of those people. There are however, individuals who are too proud and aloof to be vulnerable enough to be happy in relationship, maybe your family is just worried that you really want a relationship but are too embarrassed to say? All you can do is reassure them that you love yourself and are happy with your life and maybe they’ll leave you alone.

        7 years ago
      • No, no you are not crazy. I am pretty much the same. My mom is encouraging me to find a good man and have kids, because she wants grandchildren (thankfully she also wants me to stay totally independent).
        But when I say that it’s not really in my plans and that adoption is more of an option to get her grandchildren than marriage is, she tells me not to be ridiculous. I don’t want to live a good life, I want to live an excellent life – running around and enjoying life, doing the things I want, not what the society expects me to, so, like you, I want something different than simply marriage and I have friends who are like that too.

        7 years ago
      • My cousin is a career woman and I would love to have had her life. Children are a problem I will not lie. Children can add stress to an already fragile relationship. Children are expensive. Children are people so every emotional battle you have already raged with parents, siblings, friends, significant others, coworkers etc. will not prepare you for raising a child. When they say nothing can fully prepare you people aren’t lying. If you don’t like kids there is no need. Even if you do like kids but decide that having children isn’t for you, it’s your life. Being pressured to make this kind of decision by anyone else is tantamount to handing over your life.

        7 years ago
  31. I’m from Brazil and it is really different from Korea, usually both, husband and wife, work and do house work. But it is separated to be fair, the one who works the more do less house work and vice-verse… people are also learning to deal with the women earning more money than the men, although it stills a bit awkward…

    I think the most important is the couple to be willing to work in the relationship, to be fair with each other and, above all, to be happy. How it will work out is up to each person…..

    7 years ago
  32. In germany the whole thing changed a lot in the past years, for example there will be a min women rate in high rank jobs in companies so it is made sure that they are treated the same. Also interesting is the fact that men have the possibilty to take a break from their job to look after the children while the wife continues to work and more and more families do that.
    So in my family, my dad didn’t really know anythinv about housework and cooking but my mother made it clear right from the beginning that if he wasn’t going to help she would break up. So he learned everything because well my mother is very convincing. His parents were first really shocked about it and kinda wanted to “help” my father (they are really old fashioned) but my parents made it clear that they wanted to live like that. Interesting was that my grandfather after some time started to take a liking to baking so he makes fresh bread every week and he is really proud of it :)

    7 years ago
  33. This is another way the American South has perpared me for life elsewhere. Plus, my exhusband wanted me to (ideally) have a 6 figure income, make his dinner, take care of kids and clean his house. I’m an artist, probably not going to happen. His logic was YOU wanted equality (meaning women/feminists) you still have to handle YOUR work.
    Anyway, I still think that this is another case cultural perception vs individual reality just like everywhere. Still it is kinda BS that there aren’t specifics for women like you shared for men. Even if they were specifics about body/face.

    7 years ago
    • LOL! Ain’t that the truth?! I laughed so hard when I read that. Stupid bird. In the spirit of spit-shining turds, I figure it made it easier for me to live in other places, I’m pretty immune to this manner of gender bias. ;)

      7 years ago
      • Yeah pretty much why I recognized Korea in the first place. Not any more repressive than living in the Bible belt.

        7 years ago
  34. I live in Songdo – a really wealthy area in South Korea – and I work at a hagwon that is for pretty wealthy families. I see a lot of couples like the ones that you mentioned: husbands with fantastic jobs and trophy wives who pretty much send their children off to school and then hang out in coffee shops with their friends. However, something that I have been impressed with since moving to Korea is how often I see men taking care of their kids in public. Men holding their babies while shopping in the store, or on the subway, or playing in the park with their kids, or walking their kids to school. I see it more often here in Korea than I ever saw it in the United States… Perhaps things are changing among the younger generations! I hope so!

    7 years ago
  35. o.O dance?
    where are you from?

    7 years ago
  36. Looking at this blog post, I can honestly see why korean women are very picky when it comes to their ideal men. The criteria that was shown in the previous TL;DR was nothing more than a wish list on the part of the woman; a fantasy written on paper in bullet points. It’s a form of release, a voice towards their patriarchal culture. Personally, this talk about ideal men and women is really unfair to both genders and it contributes a bit to the very sensitive topic of gender-inequality in Korea.

    7 years ago
  37. Hello, I’m fairly new here so please forgive me if this topic has already been discussed.

    You always seem to hear that it is difficult to be a vegetarian in Korea, but what about intolerances (gluten, spicy foods, dairy, etc.) and allergies? I work in a restaurant in Australia and if a customer comes in and has particular dietary requirements the chefs cook dinner to cater for them, even if its not on the menu, and makes sure that the food is cooked separately from the other meals. Will restaurants in Korea do this too? and when you were teaching was there a ban on what food the students could take to school?

    7 years ago
  38. In Portugal, looks are important, but it really depends on what sort of person you are. I can say that the majority wants to have a pretty/handsome partner but I can also say there’s a handful of people who just fall in love and don’t really care if the person is pretty or not. Before the crises kicked in females were more likely to stay at home while the males would go to work BUT I also know that some male partners would make their girlfriend/wife get a job + clean the house + take care of kids + go shopping + etc. Nowadays you see a high number of guys staying at home, without a job, doing the cleaning and cooking and taking care of kids while the girls are working.
    I think it has become more equal about what gender does what, there’s not much of “girls should do girls chores/jobs and boys should do boys chores/jobs” around anymore, now it’s more “let me help you however I can” and I think that’s how it should be.

    7 years ago
  39. omg you guys are sooo cuteeee and you guys are matching :D

    7 years ago
  40. So, really, only a couple decades (if that) behind America? We tell ourselves we’re all ooooh equality for the genders and blah blah blah, but I live in the South, in Texas, and if anything here it’s worse because the men who want to have all this power in the relationship don’t even always have to bother with lots of schooling and great jobs, and they still get pretty (or fake pretty), vapid women to marry and breed with them. It isn’t prevalent in *my* social circles, but I saw a TON of it and the result of that kind of relationship when I was working in retail. I think I’d be happier if they all at least had an ounce of intelligence to put behind it. /bitter

    But then I do know a ton of people personally who actually date and fall in love and even more people who are in their 30s heading into 40s single because they have no idea how to meet anyone outside of work anymore. We dated when we were in school, we try to pick up people in bars (generally a bad idea), you can date coworkers (generally a REALLY bad plan) or you can try to find some kind of Singles Mingle thing in your area, but that’s only going to hook you up with other people trying to singles mingle. It’s freakishly hard, I can see how speed dating and blind dates could seem real appealing. But if you’re doing that sort of thing, wouldn’t it be hard to really get to know a person?

    Rambling now, bleh.

    I guess I just hope that everyone everywhere can be as in love as you two are. The world needs more Nasties feeling schmoopy with people they love. And there was a comic I used to love called Lore that did a strip once that I’ve always found inspiring. Just remember, no matter what, everyone is somebody’s fetish.

    7 years ago